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Paul W.S. Anderson's THREE MUSKETEERS poster hits...

Hey folks, Harry here...  I have a long thriving dislike for the films of Paul W.S. Anderson - and certainly I can never quite forgive his ineptitude in making SOLDIER such a crappy film given the script & talent he had at his disposal - It's kind of hard to even imagine what that film could have been, but alas...  get over it, move on.

My problem with Anderson's films is that he really exhibits next to no ability to get believable or emphatic performances out of his cast, his ideas are often times just limp on the screen and what you're left with is a film that physically looks good, but has nothing worth watching going on in it.   Now he's attempting to adapt one of the greatest literary works of history - we've seen the trailer which is pretty to look at, but again...  you can gather nothing from the performances really.   And then there's this poster:



Now - THE THREE MUSKETEERS has been made, adapted and spoofed  around 100 times now by Hollywood - but most film lovers know that it has really only been done well a couple of times.   My personal favorite adaptation of Dumas' work was the classic Technicolor marvel from 1948 which featured a breathtakingly physical wonder named Gene Kelly as D'Artagnan, the great Van Heflin as Athos, Angela Lansbury as Queen Anne, the oh-my-god-hot Lana Turner as Lady De Winter, the Wizard of Oz as Louis XIII and Vincent Price as Cardinal Richelieu.   That film feels like the most lush and beautiful and emotionally classic Hollywood telling of this oft-told tale.

But most geeks from the 70s swear eternal allegiance to the two part Richard Lester telling of the tale in THE THREE MUSKETEERS and THE FOUR MUSKETEERS which featured an astonishing performance by the man-god Oliver Reed as Athos, the pitch perfect Michael York as D'Artagnan, Charlton Heston as Cardinal Richelieu, pant pant Raquel Welch as Constance, Faye Dunaway as the deadly Lady De Winter and a one eyed Christopher Lee as Rochefort.   This was the version that I first fell in love with.   It's fans are world wide - and it is absolutely a fantastic telling of the tale.

Now I like some of the other versions, like the silent Douglas Fairbanks telling, though I felt he was too old for the part of young D'Artagnan.   Still it is just a very fun version of the tale.  My favorite out right parody is the Mexican parody with Cantinflas as D'artagnan, but most are forgettable like Don Ameche's version with The Ritz Brothers.   The versions made since Lester's run have been mostly forgettable.   I hope that this one is great, I really do - a great modern THREE MUSKETEERS would be nice...  I just can't imagine Paul W.S. Anderson delivering it.

Readers Talkback
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  • June 9, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST


    by evilmasterfoo

  • June 9, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST

    I will only see it if

    by DickButtkiss

    The theme song is "All For Love" by Sting, Brian Adams and Rod Stewart.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST

    by AzulTool

  • June 9, 2011, 4:05 p.m. CST

    If it has Christolph Waltz...

    by BeanGrud

    There might be some credibility to it.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:05 p.m. CST

    that is shit

    by Mysterious_Volvo

    end of.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Let's make it all for one and all for love!!!!!!

    by eric haislar

    Let the one you hold be the one you want, The one you need!!!! and vomit!

  • June 9, 2011, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Orlando Bloom is SO PRETTY..

    by professor murder

    ..they had to put him on the poster TWICE! haha

  • June 9, 2011, 4:07 p.m. CST

    So in this one

    by django_il_bastardo

    D'artagnan is a chick? Played by Jennifer Aniston?

  • June 9, 2011, 4:08 p.m. CST

    All in favor of Milla Jovovich getting breast enlargements!?

    by professor murder

    Say AYE!!! AYEE!!!

  • June 9, 2011, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Sorry I can't agree, Harry....

    by BeanGrud

    Soldier was all kinds of awesome. A great man-flick from top to bottom.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Jennifer Aniston as D'Artagnan?

    by JC Denton

    Seriously, doesn't he look like her?

  • June 9, 2011, 4:11 p.m. CST




  • June 9, 2011, 4:12 p.m. CST

    at least 3 of the characters on that poster

    by thedude2010

    look like they are wannabe orlando bloom's

  • June 9, 2011, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Why are there precious few muskets in The Three Musketeers?!?!

    by Royston Lodge


  • June 9, 2011, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Is there a place to find the original SOLDIER script online?

    by Stryder

    I hear such high praise for it on the site... Like most of PWSA's movies, I found myself liking the first 20 minutes or so of Soldier then it just turned into a Van Damme Movie Without Jean-Claude Van Damme.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:14 p.m. CST

    James Corden?

    by alan_poon

    Fuck off , you talentless, giant baby looking cunt flap. Your fifteen seconds are up. Anyone who intentionally laughs at this cunt needs fucking lynching.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Lots of good ones

    by Cory849

    I really liked The 90s one with Sutherland, Sheen and Platt. I thought Platt's performance would make him a breakout comedy star. It was fantastic. Didn't see him again until he was being all taciturn on West Wing. :(

  • June 9, 2011, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Surprise surprise...Milla Jovovich is in this!

    by ShabbyBlue

    I swear, she's the Johnny Depp to Paul WS Anderson's Tim Burton. Only, Paul actually gets to have sex with her -- something I think Tim Burton has longed to do with Depp for years.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:16 p.m. CST


    by Baryonyx

    This version has fucking airships in it. AIRSHIPS!

  • June 9, 2011, 4:16 p.m. CST

    This looks unimaginably AWFUL

    by SmokingRobot

    Jesus, have you seen the trailer for this?

  • June 9, 2011, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Trailer makes it look like a Michael Bay Movie.

    by cookylamoo

    with more explosions.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:17 p.m. CST



    Jesus Christ, man...if you need the money give me a call! I'll spot you.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:19 p.m. CST

    TV movie lighting

    by BenBraddock


  • June 9, 2011, 4:20 p.m. CST

    Love this! Can't wait to see it!

    by WerePlatypus

    Anderson is a visionary, and I think after he's gone, the film industry will reexamine his films and find. . . ah Christ, I can't even fake it for a paragraph. Fuck this turd.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:21 p.m. CST

    That's a lot of leather jackets...

    by CCon99

    Will they ride motorcycles instead of horses?

  • June 9, 2011, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Dear lord, that trailer is awful.

    by Royston Lodge

  • June 9, 2011, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Start The Revolution Without Me..thanks Harry, without

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    mentioning the 100 or so spoofs and adaptations I would have forgot about this Gene Wilder/Donald Sutherland farce.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:29 p.m. CST

    I heard more changes..

    by professor murder

    To up the masculinity, since they all look so girly, the horses ride the humans in this. Also, the airships made from alien tech. The film is actually called Musketeer of the Three Kinds. The Orlando Bloom lookalikes are meant to be that way because they are all terminator machines sent from the future, and Aniston was jealous of Travolta in Hairspray, saying she could play opposite gender and win an award with the wink of an eye. Unfortunately, Milla will brandish weapons and kill multiples of people in this movie, once again showing the false truth how women were fierce warriors in the old times, as many past failing epic genre 'hip' movies try to do.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:30 p.m. CST

    How far Orlando Bloom has fallen

    by Han Cholo

    One minute he's starring as the main character in an epic film by Ridley Scott, next he's doing bottom drawer shit like this... <p> I can already tell the Disney version with Charlie Sheen and Chris O'Donnell is a thousand times better... Well anything with Oliver Platt is pretty damn watchable, yes even Year One...

  • June 9, 2011, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Quite a stache that can turn Orlando Bloom in Sean Connery

    by Drath

    At least for the poster. Wait, why is the Duke of Buckingham getting so much space on that poster anyway? Whatever, I expect this to suck because the director is awful. Also I wish they'd make REAL steampunk instead of Hollywood bastardizations of classic literature.

  • June 9, 2011, 4:31 p.m. CST

    RE:Jennifer Aniston as D'Artagnan

    by kidicarus

    Holy shit you are absolutely right!

  • June 9, 2011, 4:38 p.m. CST

    3 words

    by D o o d

    piece of shit

  • King Arthur had Xena-Guinevere Centurion had Russian-Xena-barbarian-bitch ... fuck it I'm not even going to keep listing them but it's annoying as shit having some diminutive pretty-girl turning into Buffy the Y-Chromosome Slayer in every movie. Even Iron Man had to shoe-horn in 20 minutes of ScarJo massacring men for, well, I don't even know whom, maybe the S&M masochist straight male audience? Cutthroat Island is the closest thing I can think of to plausible female empowerment. Jamie Lee Curtis in TRUE LIES was great too. It's not that I want women to be presented as useless, defenseless creatures (though look at TEMPLE OF DOOM or a lot of old Arnold movies, it often works out pretty well with respect to plotting and comedic relief) but they shouldn't be taking on armies of men and winning. Hell, show me a movie where 1/4 of all the "anonymous henchmen" consigned to death are women (equal opportunity!) and I waive my right to complain about any ass-kicking performed by women.

  • let me help: EMPATHETIC: of, pertaining to, or characterized by empathy. EMPHATIC: forceful; insistent: uttered, or to be uttered, with emphasis. now think for a second. which of those words is the one you MEANT to use?

  • June 9, 2011, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Oh - and the Sheen/Sutherland/O'Donnell/Platt version is the best.

    by JuanSanchez

  • June 9, 2011, 5 p.m. CST

    Always a good sign, when you can't tell if...

    by LargoJr

    ... the character in the middle is male or female.. Yeah.. i got good vibes from this (ok, maybe it's just indigestion)

  • and tying Penelope to train tracks

  • June 9, 2011, 5:04 p.m. CST


    by DigitalBeachWar

    Tell me it's fan art made by an advanced 10-year-old. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • June 9, 2011, 5:09 p.m. CST

    Dwayne Johnson

    by Musicman247

    Is that the Rock in the bottom left corner with the eye patch? Man, he slimmed down for this flick.

  • June 9, 2011, 5:10 p.m. CST

    I hope this gives us a new Bryan Adams song.

    by sweeneydave

  • June 9, 2011, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Disney Musketeers

    by Musicman247

    I agree that the Sutherland O'Donnel version is the best. Kiefer nailed Athos.

  • June 9, 2011, 5:13 p.m. CST

    Looks kind of gay

    by elsewhere

  • June 9, 2011, 5:20 p.m. CST

    Kevin James!!??

    by professor murder

    OHH! I just watched the Dilemma last night! What a waste to go out on..... I was looking forward to Mall Cop 2:Segway or the Highway

  • June 9, 2011, 5:22 p.m. CST

    there's like ten dudes in this poster, overkill

    by seabiscuits

    just show the 3 Musketeers and Milla J. It reminds me of the Your Highness poster.

  • --for how messed up Hollywood can be. This is a semi-nutty steampunk version of "The Three Musketeers" with James Bond, old-tech weapons and hot air balloon warships. I saw the trailer in a theater and it plays terrible in front of an audience. This is going to open to a deafening silence. It doesn't look "wild" enough to distinquish itself from other fairly recent versions of the same story or faithful enough to be recognized for artsake. In his DVD commentaries, PWSA admits he doesn't have an original idea in his head and says he steals everything, but tries to steal from the best. The guy is a major hack who shouldn't be allowed a lush Hollywood career in this tough economy. He would be just fine directing SyFy Channel movies of the week.

  • June 9, 2011, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Not enough people on this poster

    by professor murder

    I think they could have crammed in maybe two more in the upper corners. So far, I count only 16. Oh yeah, nice copy of the obi-wan/anakin lava blast in the lower right, haha! Poor Anthony Weiner will never see his unborn baby :-(

  • June 9, 2011, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Handdrawn please

    by jimmy_009

    What ever happened to people actually making art on posters? You know, even hiring an artist to draw something. This kind of movie cries out for a poster like that, instead they dump a punch of photos in photoshop and try to "age" it. Weak.

  • June 9, 2011, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Guy on the left = GAY GAY GAY

    by MaxCalifornia.

    LMAO! Could he be in a more mincing, "Hello Thailor", milquetoast-y pose? And yes, what IS it with Mads Mikkelsen repeatedly playing one-eyed characters? I guess everyone has their niche and all.

  • June 9, 2011, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Can we please get Rose of Versailles instead?

    by CreamCheeseAlchemist

    Lady Oscar is awesome.

  • June 9, 2011, 5:51 p.m. CST

    You're spot on about the Gene Kelly version

    by Subovon

    and I need to revisit the 70's classics. I've never been able to appreciate them because of the Betamax tape I had of the 1948 version.

  • June 9, 2011, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Is that Kristin Wiig as D'Artagnan?

    by UnCoolNews

  • Pass.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:04 p.m. CST

    We dodged a bullet when Logan Lehrman

    by BillEmic

    was not cast as Spider-Man. The kid just looks like he gobbles cock for a living.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Paul W. S. Anderson should be forced to change his name...

    by MapMan

    ... in order to avoid confusion with the infinitely superior director Paul W. Anderson. And I'll pass on this movie as I have on every other thing this hack has been attached to.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Sorry. That should be Paul T. Anderson

    by MapMan

    Fat fingered it. My bad.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:14 p.m. CST

    This poster fails to explain the flying ships...

    by Andrew Coleman

    And sadly I'll go see it just to find out. I also like fencing in movies... So sue me.

  • Two dudes buttfucking on the back of a giant rainbow coloured pony would be less gay than that poster.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Poster's cool though. Old school as fuck.

    by Yer_Maw

    I don't get all the Anderson hate. Having said that, this looks like yet another unnecessary remake. Sorry ... "re-envisioning of the original text".

  • June 9, 2011, 6:21 p.m. CST


    by torontoxic

    name play

  • June 9, 2011, 6:22 p.m. CST

    The guy on the bottom

    by professor murder

    Has finger guards on his swords??? Wouldn't he still have a very high percentage of losing his finger if another sword struck that area? haha

  • June 9, 2011, 6:28 p.m. CST

    This poster SUCKS

    by JethroBodine

    I cant' tell who the 3 Musketeers are in this stupid thing. Poster maker, and poster approver - YOU'RE FIRED!

  • June 9, 2011, 6:31 p.m. CST


    by Fico


  • June 9, 2011, 6:35 p.m. CST

    Milla Jovovich can not act ...

    by MrMxyzptlk

    ... her way out of a paper bag.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:36 p.m. CST


    by ThisBethesdaSea

    You read it right. That poster is godawful. There have been some gay porns that have been produced, with really good posters in accompaniment, and this looks like one of them...and the hottie in the middle looks like the star bottom.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:36 p.m. CST

    That's the kid from V?

    by Nautilus_nrm1

    Aside from that, it looks pretty good.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:38 p.m. CST

    The Three Faggoteers

    by BoRock_A_Boomer

    And assorted other faggots

  • June 9, 2011, 6:41 p.m. CST

    the F word shouldn't be used here....

    by ThisBethesdaSea

    it's a horrible slur against homosexual people...please give borock and warning harry.

  • June 9, 2011, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Thanks Harry, and damn you.......

    by david starling

    Looks like I'm celebrating the morning of my 40th, here in the UK, by watch the Salkinds Musketeers movies, back-to-back!!

  • June 9, 2011, 7:05 p.m. CST

    The THREE musketeers

    by NuckyThompson

    " take a look at 10 random people assorted by paychecks. Who are the three musketeers? who gives a fuck."

  • June 9, 2011, 7:08 p.m. CST


    by alienindisguise

    This poster is.

  • June 9, 2011, 7:22 p.m. CST

    Men Who Look Gay: The Movie

    by Mel

  • June 9, 2011, 7:39 p.m. CST

    The 3 MuskQueefers

    by DrMorbius

  • June 9, 2011, 7:42 p.m. CST

    Horrible Photoshop job

    by TDH1138

    Another "must not" see.

  • June 9, 2011, 7:55 p.m. CST


    by CT1

    not creepy at all

  • Now this.

  • June 9, 2011, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Milla's breasts are just fine.

    by bubcus

    The poster above though, looks lop-sided. The trailer? Yeah, too Michael Bay-ish. Saw some interesting trailers while looking for it though... "We Are The Night" looks awesome.

  • June 9, 2011, 8:26 p.m. CST

    @beangrud, Green Hornet had Christoph Waltz too

    by sunwukong86

  • June 9, 2011, 8:46 p.m. CST

    Who's the little girl playing D'Artagnan

    by Captain Midnite

  • June 9, 2011, 8:47 p.m. CST

    If any poster needed the Struzan treatment...

    by TriggerMortis's this one.

  • June 9, 2011, 9:08 p.m. CST

    Jeeeeezus, this looks fucking AWFUL

    by BrashHulk

    And who in the holy HELL is that bone-smoking, ball-sucking, ass-reaming QUEER in the middle of the poster?! Man, just when you think Hollywood has scraped the bottom of the barrel, something like this comes along and proves you wrong... AGAIN!

  • June 9, 2011, 9:25 p.m. CST

    Isn't that the kid from that Disney show....

    by Joaquin_Ondamoon

    ..."I'm With the Band"? Where the band's name is 'Iron Weasel'? And Milla is perfect the way she is! Oh MMMMMMMMMilla! I watch so many stupid movies for you....*sigh*...

  • June 9, 2011, 9:26 p.m. CST

    AWFUL?? It looks like

    by luke_lymon

    CRAP;CRAP;CRAP;CRAP anyone who thinks a woman in a corset doing karate and other martial arts stuff is hot is not a 3 Musketeers fan. And frankly it shows how little hollywood cares about quality.

  • June 9, 2011, 10:02 p.m. CST

    Actually, the guy on the left looks a lot like...

    by heks

    ... a young Brent Spiner. I've seen him in something else, though I can't remember what, and thought the same thing every time he was on screen. If they did a Star Trek:TNG movie remake in the same way as Abrams' Star Trek, that guy would be my first choice for Data.

  • just looks sooo over produced and corny... Every scene looks like something from a soap opera! The Priest is a good example of this ridiculous trend... Post apocalyptic movie, and everyone looks like they just shot a cover for GQ and Vanity Fair.

  • June 9, 2011, 10:08 p.m. CST

    oh, right ...

    by heks

    I saw him in Pillars of the Earth

  • I'll really be seeing this for Mads, but I hope to enjoy it as well. I'm not going to go in expecting to hate the movie. It seems like most people here are only trying to one-up one another on insults and who has the wittiest jab.

  • June 9, 2011, 10:54 p.m. CST

    This article had me at Cantinflas, chato.

    by pelos_locos

  • June 9, 2011, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Yup... definitely Jennifer Anniston as D'Artagnon

    by Happyfat73

    She's hot.

  • June 9, 2011, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Why does anyone like Event Horizon?

    by Keith

    It's garbage, like the rest of Anderson's pathetic oeuvre.

  • June 9, 2011, 11:18 p.m. CST

    If it has Christolph Waltz...

    by saultonofswing

    It must be terrible except for the Christolph Waltz (see Green Hornet, Water for Elephants, everything post Oscar).

  • June 9, 2011, 11:20 p.m. CST


    by PatientZer0

    What a piece of crap. That poster looks like a bad fan-made photoshop job. I'll be vigorously avoiding this nonsense, as I have vigorously avoided every other piece of shit film this hack has directed since I had the misfortune of sitting through 2/3 of Event Horizon.

  • June 9, 2011, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Well fuck me in my Dumas

    by Continentalop

    This. Will. Suck.

  • June 9, 2011, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Trailer looks like shit


    Epic Mega-Flop Bombs away!!!

  • June 9, 2011, 11:56 p.m. CST

    Jeez, that reeks.

    by catlettuce4

    The poster work itself isn't the problem, but it looks like the artist only had garbage to work with by way of the actors. And yes that certainly does look like Aniston. How can this possibly be a movie worth watching?

  • June 10, 2011, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Milla's tits are great

    by Tristan

    She has lovely nipples. I'd choose small tits with big nipples over big tits with flat nipples any day.

  • I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the Brett version is the one to beat them all. It's a 10-part BBC serial from 1966, filmed in black-and-white, and it's out on DVD. The production is low-budget, but it's the most faithful English-language adaptation of the novel to date, and the performances are fantastic. (Richard Pasco may not have the star power of Price, Heston, or Curry, but he's a far more subtle and interesting Richelieu to me.) Personally, the goofy slapstick kills the Lester adaptation for me. I know I'm much in the minority, but I just have a visceral dislike of his style, and it clashes severely with my sense of the source material.

  • June 10, 2011, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Best version was Dogtanian and the Three Muskahounds..

    by gabbygall

    Am I right UK 80s kids? One for all and all for one, muskahounds are always ready..

  • June 10, 2011, 3:37 a.m. CST

    This is how it should be done...

    by gabbygall

  • June 10, 2011, 4:33 a.m. CST

    Haters try to yell louder,maybe Paul WS Anderson

    by KilliK

    will hear you while ejaculating in the mouth of one of the hottest women on earth.

  • ..Resident Evil. OK, His adaptation is better than Romero's treatment (I read georgie's script, and it's far from being canon to the game's mythos.) but it still sucked on most levels. Paul Wanker Stain Anderson had a winning streak for a moment thanks to Mortal Kombat and Event Horizon, but when he fucks up a venerable franchise and implement rediculous ideas like "Super Soldier Alice in Zombieland", what credibility he had is lost. Oh, and does he have to put his baby mama in every picutre he makes nowadays? Talk about double dipping or is it the fact that Milla can't really make it on her own? Stone, A perfect getaway and the hilarious fourth kind proved that her career is up the shitpipe. At least Paul isn't as fucked up as Uwe Boll..which aint saying much.

  • June 10, 2011, 5:12 a.m. CST

    Resident Evil the original trilogy was really crap

    by KilliK

    as the story and the setting are concerned. An underground laboratory in a secluded mansion? you cant go more cliche than that. If anything else Anderson's films were an improvement and a welcomed deviation from the original games. It's not a surprise that the rebooted RE4 got some things from his movies anyway.

  • ... but instead remade the older movies that went before. All those who will actually read the novel will be suprised that Richellieu isn't actually portaited as a real bad guy but as far more complex character who actually has the best interests of France in mind. And his righthand man doesn't have a eyepatch of power either.

  • June 10, 2011, 5:34 a.m. CST

    SOLDIER is also what made me give up on Paul WC Anderson as well.

    by AsimovLives

    From that movie i could tell this guy was unreliable to say the least. Aparently he's a really nice chap in real life, but as a filmmaker he's the text book case of ineptitude. He always come up with realy cool concepts, he actually seem to understand the stuff that audiences and geeks would want to see in a movie, he can pile up cool concepts into his movies... and then fuck up royally in the execution. A fuck up of epic proportions. He's one opf the most terrible executionists i ever seen workingfor movies. Paul WC Anderson should just be a producer. He can come up with good and cool concepts, but he can't put them downto writing nor filmming them. He should let the writing and filmmaking for those who can. Stick to producing, WC Anderson. And please, don't go to the editing room as well, you are not good at that either. Well, i guess that he's really very much like JJ Abrams, but without a cult of personality blind following to him.

  • June 10, 2011, 5:34 a.m. CST

    Ι agree.the real villain in the novel was that chick.

    by KilliK

    countess something.she was a real bitch.

  • June 10, 2011, 5:43 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Milla certainly is a beautiful woman, but sincher he has began wusingher hair so much shorter then she used to, i no longer find her the beauty goddess i used to. I actually envy other guys married/in relation to hot babes far more then WC Anderson. Guys like Ben Affleck, Vincent Cassel, John Krasinski, Guillaume Canet or Sean Penn.

  • June 10, 2011, 5:43 a.m. CST

    3 muskateer movie, i mean to say

    by AsimovLives

  • Man, i loved that show when i was a kid. I didn't missed an episode, and i had to wait a full, wek for a new one, which in kid's time it's like a small eternity. Dogtanian and the Three Muskahounds and Future Boy Conan were the great shows of my childhood. And Cosmos and Life On Earth too, believe it or not.

  • Casting an actress for the role of D'Artagnan. The love scenes with Madame Bonacieux and hopefully Milady de Winter will open other possibilities!

  • June 10, 2011, 6:22 a.m. CST

    asimovlives well you know the ultimate argument

    by KilliK

    that you dont mean what you just said: If you dont find her hot anymore because of her hair,then by all means,when chance comes and she opens her legs for you... DONT FUCK HER.!!! ok?

  • June 10, 2011, 6:25 a.m. CST

    When I watched the trailer

    by Speedbumped

    I thought to myself "Why did they cast Michael Cera as d'Artagnan?" at least twice. I think it's the hair.

  • June 10, 2011, 6:31 a.m. CST

    It looks Wild Wild West crap

    by Wookie_Weed

    And that film was as crap as it can get. Who the hell is playing D'Artagnan... Jennifer Aniston and Justin Bieber's lovechild?!

  • June 10, 2011, 7:10 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    I find Milla hot. But she used to be hotter with the very long hair she used to have until THE FIFTH ELEMENT.

  • June 10, 2011, 7:26 a.m. CST

    so asimov you do agree that Paul WS Anderson

    by KilliK

    is a lucky bastard who fucks a very hot chick regardless of your taste about your hair,no?

  • June 10, 2011, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Must say this - GAYEST looking poster EVER. And I'm not homophobic...

    by impossibledreamers

    Though that poster could push me that way.

  • June 10, 2011, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Millas beautiful firm breasts fit her perfect athletic body...

    by conspiracy

    Milla most likely could kill a man sexually if she so desired; her vice like vagina muscles simply tightening and holding you in place as her perfectly shaped legs squeezed the life giving air out of you;whispering the most perverse, sinful last words into your ears in her native Ukrainian as she did it. Knowing Slav girls as I do, That hot cunt probably does things to and with Anderson that are not only illegal, but ensuring them a express ticket to Hell. Fuck how I do envy and hate this guy...

  • June 10, 2011, 8:38 a.m. CST


    by Stalkeye

    "as the story and the setting are concerned. An underground laboratory in a secluded mansion? you cant go more cliche than that. If anything else Anderson's films were an improvement and a welcomed deviation from the original games." Whatdefuck have you been smoking? A welcome improvement does not consist of a genetically enhanced chick fighting the undead. And PWSA incorporating themes from Alice in wonderland is even more unbearable. There's no suspense or sense of survival horror in Paul's adaptaion. So what if the games lacked a solid story, it did however excel in scaring the shit out of many who played the series unlike the movie adaptaions. to be continued..

  • June 10, 2011, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Trailer Look Awful Poster Reaffirms

    by Wcwlkr

    The trailer itself looked like pure garbage, so I already wanted to pass on this. Honestly the Disney Version was my favorite, I greatly enjoyed that movie. Sutherland was good, Tim Curry's Cardinal Richelieu was good, I could even tolerate Chris O'Donnell.

  • June 10, 2011, 8:50 a.m. CST

    LOL I'm alson signing off on the Jennifer Anniston comments

    by Wcwlkr

    LOL that's a spot on assessment. Dude looks exactly like her, and that's not a good thing.

  • June 10, 2011, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Kinda Like Avaturd


    Pretty to look at, but terrible story/acting/writing.

  • June 10, 2011, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Will the swordfights use "bullet time"? Since Anderson

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    can't seem to stop ripping off that effect from The Matrix.

  • June 10, 2011, 11:55 a.m. CST

    More than anything else...

    by snappy

    ...I fear that this will suck VERY hard because of the mere presence of the talent vacuum that is James Corden. In 3D. Dear God, take me now. Or at least pass the mind bleach.

  • June 10, 2011, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Too bad about the cast

    by DynamixRo

    It's really sad to see such a waste of talent.

  • June 10, 2011, 12:24 p.m. CST

    This looks like it will reach stupifying levels of suckage.

    by WriteForTheEdit

    But I still want to have unbelievably nasty, sweat-stained, cum-glazed sex with Milla. Really, Paul, you fucking fuck... lucky goddamned fuckhole.

  • After this bombs, and the Hobbit movies are done, I'm guessing.

  • Makes the film look like an utterly worthless piece of junk, with all the ridiculous Van Helsing-isms. Not much reason to think it won't be. Which is a shame. A good, fun film could be made with this cast - one that doesn't insult the collective intelligence of everyone with the ridiculous high-tech/wire-work additions. But then, I think the whole zombie Jane Austen concept is worthless as well, so that's where I'm coming from.

  • June 10, 2011, 12:46 p.m. CST

    The screenwriter for the Lester versions, George Mcdonald Fraser,

    by Dennis_Moore

    wrote many rippng adventure books that should be adapted instead. Such as the Flashman series, Pyrates, and The Reavers.

  • June 10, 2011, 3:20 p.m. CST

    RE: RE

    by Stalkeye

    ....Now where was I, oh yes, how Paul further fucked up the Resident Evil films. I already mentioned the first one which was loaded with lame scenarios and piss poor writing here are but a few examples: Kaplan who is outnumbered by the zombies, prepares to commit suicide via pistol, instead of adding suspense by blacking out the scene (did he or didn't he off himself?) it goes on with him throwing the gun while saying "you'll have to work for your meal"!! The character Rain has been biten by one of the Zombies and throughout the movie, she has yet to turn until the last 10 minutes. When it's common practice in zombie films, including this one, the infection rate increases within less than 10 minutes. (Look what happened to Spencer after being infected.) The Hive shoot-out , Alice running against walls and other exagerrated scenarios adds NOTHING to the game's canon in which survival horror is it's basis. Oh, and Killy the scenario that you speak of in RE 4 (videogame) was taken from the film, however the movie stole the laser hall concept from some indie film called the Cube. So no, your boy Paulie did nothing original there. The music compared to the game was too obtrusive and not compatible for the setting of said film. And not to mention, one of the better characters(One) from the first film buys it near the second act. That's just the first film and I can go on about the other sequels; cheap nemesis makeup, silly characters like Mike Epps' LT, Boris Kodjoe as a basketball player, boring Tyrant, The Zombie using a Sony erricson phone, fucking clones, road warrior rip off set pieces,Albert Wesker ? or more like Val Kilmer?That horrible post credits scene with Jill Valentine in the chopper,and what the fuck is the Ax Manji doing in the crowd of zombies? The games were not meant to be some great story opus like Mass Effect, as it was inspired from both George A romero and John Carpenter that's not too hard to understand it's influences right? PWSA's take bordered on the absolute rediculous.And really, who gives a shit about him banging Milla? there's plenty of beautiful women in the world to care. *ahem* If not for Event and Kombat, he would be up there with fucking Roth, Ratner, McG and Bay..well he is within the confines, but still he's no Boll so I give him that. Just don't have this fucker helm Castlevania or Metal Gear Solid.

  • June 10, 2011, 4:28 p.m. CST


    by WilliamZabkaRox

    Way too much crammed onto one poster.

  • June 10, 2011, 5:41 p.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    No, i mean 18 to 25 when he made FIFTH ELEMENT. That's adult age, you know?

  • But those were 5 years in her adulthood i found her to be a goddess. And then she cut her hair short. Dammit!

  • June 10, 2011, 5:44 p.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    "you do agree that Paul WS Anderson is a lucky bastard who fucks a very hot chick regardless of your taste about your hair,no?" Oh yeah.

  • They are so fucking obsessed in beying hype with the movie they forget to make it good. It's as if they believe that the Three Musketeers is merely a story designed for teen audiences. Well, for anybody who actually read the book, it's actually a pretty adult stor,y fileld with moraly questional acts and deed, and that's from the very heroes of the story: D'Artagnan romantically persues and beds a married woman, the other 3 musketeers constantly woe rich noblewomen, specially married ones, and they then take money from then, who they waste on drunken binges. This are the heroes. Meanwhile, the villains are all deeply patriotic people who work for thier government, french or english, who want to do the ebst for their country, even if thatemans some less then savoury means, like, you know, Jack Bauer. The only true villain is Milady de Winter, and she has a tragic backstory which makes her a victim of fate then just a psycho for hire. Hell, the morality in the novel is so complex, that the righthand of Richeleu, Rochefort, after a series of losing duels with D'Artagnan, he ends up striking a friendship with him, and they became the best of friends. Yeah, the hero ends up a great friend of the "villain"'s chief mook. Did i ever sen such things portaited in any 3 Musketeers movie, specially anything resembling stuff form the book in the last movie versions? The fuck i have! All i have was just teenage tosh!

  • June 10, 2011, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Other versions are worthy of mention

    by Jeditemple

    The Disney version was great, especially with Charlie Sheen. Plus "The Fifth Musketeer" was a great version showcasing the man in the iron mask and some shocking deaths.

  • June 11, 2011, 3:22 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    What? The mvie with Keifer Sutherland and Charlie sheen? That movie version is shit! Pure bullshit! That's why i was saying that that since the 70s Holywood fails to make a proper a 3 Musketeers movie. That movie is one of the proof of that. Aparently the french movie THE DAUGHTER OF D'ARTAGNAN with Sophie Marceu is quite alright.

  • June 11, 2011, 3:51 a.m. CST


    by Jonathhan Kana

    not that I would know but gay porn looks like, but if I were to imagine a box cover of homosexual deviants frolicking around, I would imagine they would dress in flowery leggings and blouses and hold swords and look all rosy cheeked and shit. seriously, this is the gayest fucking poster ive ever seen in my life.

  • It was only a matter of time after the Kingdom of Heaven fiasco.

  • June 12, 2011, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Harry must be getting a hell of a sweetener to bother with shit like this...

    by Arkhaminmate001

  • June 13, 2011, 2:40 a.m. CST

    Is Orlando Bloom a giant in this?

    by chien_sale

    Because they can't possibly think his ass is gonna sell the movie