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Nordling here.

I have not seen any of the TWILIGHT films, or read the books.  And though there is a contingent of our readership that will scream bloody murder that I posted this, there is a group of readers who truly love this series and can't wait for this next installment.  I definitely have my opinions on these films and books, but I think I'll just let the trailer do the talking this time.  I will say that Bill Condon's a terrific writer and director and if any director's going to find the pulp center to this sugary confection, it's him:

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN Part 1 comes out this November.  Pick your Team now. if you haven't already.  Nordling, out.

Readers Talkback
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  • June 6, 2011, 6:11 a.m. CST

    How can you have an opinion

    by bohdi71

    If you havent read the books or seen the films?

  • June 6, 2011, 6:12 a.m. CST

    Someone tried to convince me...

    by nemov

    this weekend that this franchise has fueled the indie rock movement. I mean c'mon? Get with reality.

  • June 6, 2011, 6:14 a.m. CST

    You even watch the teaser and a vagina tries to grow

    by corplhicks

    You even watch the teaser and a vagina tries to grow inside you. Ugh please. This is so painful.

  • June 6, 2011, 6:19 a.m. CST

    "How can you have an opinion"

    by BangoSkank

    Cultural impact, maybe?

  • June 6, 2011, 6:23 a.m. CST

    Believe it or not the twilight soundtracks

    by knowthyself

    Are awesome.

  • June 6, 2011, 6:43 a.m. CST

    I can't wait ...

    by Ninkynonk

    To watch through 2 movies of some retarded, freaky shit that doesn't make any sense, waiting for a big battle finale that doesn't actually happen.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:04 a.m. CST

    Little girls and Harry just weed a little bit...

    by quantize

    And everyone else went into a coma.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:06 a.m. CST


    by MorganLeafy


  • June 6, 2011, 7:09 a.m. CST


    by snappy

    Beat me to it. Nordling may have an opinion, but it's one solely based on prejudice or, as bangoskank suggests, through the distorting mirror that is cultural impact. You know what they say:"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes." That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away, and you've got their shoes.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:09 a.m. CST

    Worst in the series yet?

    by marineboy

    Looking more like Sunset Beach with every instalment... :s

  • June 6, 2011, 7:09 a.m. CST

    Aint it Fucking Lame?

    by hiperaktiv

    Yes this movie series definitely is.

  • Twilight is for little girls. True Blood is Twilight for middle aged women. Underworld is for pubescent boys. Dracula, Near Dark, Cronos and Let The Right One In, are for real fans of the genre.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:12 a.m. CST

    Coulda SWORN it said "Breaking Wind"...

    by LargoJr

    For a second they acquired the licensing rights to 'Superbus' for material in the movie.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:13 a.m. CST

    My women students love it...

    by zinc_chameleon

    so I tried to watch the second film on DVD. Some of the worst plot holes ever portrayed. For example: the Volturi eat an entire squad of rich German tourists in the afternoon in a popular villa in Tuscany, and no one notices? More likely a couple of fighter bombers or an SAS team would reduce that castle to rubble. I'd like to see the Volturi deal with body-armored SAS using the latest Hechler-Koch automatic (caseless, computer-guided) weapons. They'd tear those sparkly clowns to pieces.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:18 a.m. CST

    this is the crazy one right?

    by Spandau Belly

    This is the one where Kristen gets pregnant with a super vampire baby and the baby punches her from inside and breaks her spine and the werewolf guy starts having a telepathic romance with the vampire baby while it's still in the womb, right? I haven't seen any of these movies or read any of the books, but I will see this crazy one if they keep to the plot description I read.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:27 a.m. CST

    R.I.P. Bill Condon's credibility

    by Mr. Pricklepants

    You will not be missed.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Also, if you're a guy and you like this shit, then you're not a man...

    by Mr. Pricklepants

    You're just a chick with a dick!

  • June 6, 2011, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Who's more pathetic?

    by Lemure_v2

    Harry for posting the link, or clicking on a link for Twilight even though you hate it?

  • June 6, 2011, 7:36 a.m. CST

    I watched Condons Gods and Monsters for the first time last night and it was total shite

    by harryknowlesnothingaboutfilm

    McKellen aside doing his bes McKellen ACT-TOR ing it never went anywhere until the last 15 minutes and I was just waiting for Brendan Fraser to whip out a shot gun and start shouting about mummies. so directionless pap.....sounds a good fit for the twilight saga.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:38 a.m. CST

    I feels sad 4 2days generation becuase that was pathetic.

    by BrooklynBred

    Downloaded and sat through the original curious as to what the fuss was all about. (Vampire baseball in the afternoon. Really?) And I still don't get it. By the way anyone with an imagination, love for sci-fi and writing skills can predict the Vampire with the oddly shaped head will be forced to change the sickly-looking-but-thinks-she's-hot human chick into a blood sucker because if not the baby will feed on the host.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:39 a.m. CST

    Funny that this is in TWO parts.

    by knowthyself

    Considering the ENTIRE book has no second or third act to speak of. Get ready for critics to eat this thing alive; there's no tension, no story, and a very weak resolution.

  • June 6, 2011, 7:41 a.m. CST

    These movies make Harry Potter look like Shakespeare

    by quantize


  • June 6, 2011, 7:47 a.m. CST

    This comes off REALLY campy.

    by knowthyself

    Doesn't it?

  • Fucking miserable.....

  • June 6, 2011, 7:49 a.m. CST

    So in 2 years no more tween screaming at SDCC? for shame....

    by harryknowlesnothingaboutfilm

  • June 6, 2011, 7:55 a.m. CST

    Only interested in one thing.

    by UltimaRex

    Taylor Lautnor having to fall in love with a CG vampire baby. This will not only be one of the biggest LOLZ in the world but will probably kill his career as well. Double win!

  • June 6, 2011, 7:58 a.m. CST

    I'm 35, Male, And I Love These Films..

    by ThisBethesdaSea

    for purely what they are..teenage melodramas set in a myth of werewolves and vampires. Bring it.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Read this synopsis and tell me you dont want to see this on screen

    by harryknowlesnothingaboutfilm

  • June 6, 2011, 8:09 a.m. CST

    I'm not even going to subject myself to the trailer

    by Rupee88

    American Idol is beloved by millions too and it's a worthless joke as well. Avg IQ is 100 so half of the people in the world have an IQ below 100. They are mainly the fans of these books and movies.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:14 a.m. CST


    by alienindisguise

    the series just gets more shitty the longer it's in the public eye. We should all be so lucky to have our better works published than some fat cunt who had relatives in the publishing business. FUCK THAT!

  • June 6, 2011, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Can't this series just die already.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I'm into vampires. Real vampires that is. So, when the books first came out, and I saw them all over the place I figured I'll give it a shot. Well, the first one wasn't bad. It was good enough. I figured I'd give the second one a chance. I think I got in maybe 50 pages,and said enough is enough. I even gave the first movie a chance. Stupid me. Enough of this crap. Can teenagers do anything today except whine woe is me? Look dummy pick one of your monsters, and either make it change you, or just hop on and start churning out little fuzzy wolves or bats. Just spare us from all this whining. Please somebody, if it hasn't been done, do a You Tube mashup where Blade just killls all these idiots.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Why would you ever send a wedding invitation...

    by FusionAddict people who threatened to murder you? HONESTLY, people.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Thought I'd check it out....

    by DCPete

    Watched with the sound off (speakerless PC 'n all) & I must say, thta looks utter dross. Does the sound or suspected "voiceover" have any impact as visually, it's the most uninspred thing visually I've ever seen showcasing a movie.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:31 a.m. CST

    The reason they send the invite to the Volutori

    by knowthyself

    Is so they can see that he's on his way to turning Bell into a vampire. Shrug.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:37 a.m. CST


    by johnnyrandom

    ...if you truly think the soundtracks to these awful movies are awesome, then I pity your ears, and those of people who share space with you. Taste. You got none.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:44 a.m. CST


    by FusionAddict

    No, the correct answer is, "So they can kill them in revenge at the reception." Any other answer is a sign of total and complete retardation on the part of Stephanie Meyer. Oh, and by the way, has anyone else noticed this chick seems to have some serious postpartum issues? She has Bella's kid try to chew its way out of her stomach, she writes a novel where the protagonist has their life taken over by a parisitic life form...I'm surprised she hasn't drowned her kids in the bathtub because Joseph Smith & Moroni told her to through her dental appliances.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:48 a.m. CST

    "BLOODY MURDER!!!!!!"

    by V'Shael

    It's the definition of anti-cool. Why is it here?

  • June 6, 2011, 8:59 a.m. CST

    These are sucky bands? Really?

    by knowthyself

    Thom Yorke, The Killers, Death Cab for Cute, Grizzly Bear, Lykke Li, Muse, Metric, The Black Keys, Band of Horses, Florence and the Machine, The Dead Weather, Cee Lo Green, and Sia? They all suck and I have terrible taste in music? OKAY lol. Try this. Forget that it's the soundtrack to Twilight and just listen to the songs. Change the name and album cover if it makes you feel better. The best thing is that it's all new music.

  • June 6, 2011, 9:01 a.m. CST


    by knowthyself

    Black Rebel Motorcyle Club and the Editors suck? OKAY!

  • June 6, 2011, 9:02 a.m. CST


    by Han_Hit_Period

    Jacob is a Paedo

  • June 6, 2011, 9:02 a.m. CST


    by NinjaRap

    This shit is gonna be hilarious, and I can't wait.

  • June 6, 2011, 9:08 a.m. CST

    The site barely talks about Game of Thrones...

    by lunalu

    but shoves this pathetic Twilight crap down our throats. Believe me when I say that not every woman love this garbage. Some of us like plots and books that are written by someone who has better skills than a 12 year old "writer". I can't wait for this series to go away, but I sincerely doubt AICN will let it die.

  • good music but they have as much to do with the actual films as proper rules for vampires.

  • June 6, 2011, 9:15 a.m. CST

    He fucks her unconscious, right? The first time they have sex.

    by Mr. Pricklepants

    Well, she asked for it, she wanted it. So, don't complain about it afterwards. She got what she wanted, so that also means dealing with the consequences. Namely, a fucking vampire baby. Also, Jacob probably thought: Okay, so you chose the other guy. Well, guess what, bitch? I'm gonna marry your daughter. I don't care if it makes me look like a fucking child molester, I'm gonna imprint that bitch. So, suck on that.

  • June 6, 2011, 9:16 a.m. CST

    I guess the word SOUNDTRACK

    by knowthyself

    Was just too obvious for him? What else could it fucking mean? It's the film's fucking soundtrack!

  • June 6, 2011, 9:16 a.m. CST

    Who the fuck cares what they have to do with the movie.

    by knowthyself

    They're awesome and I've discovered a few bands listening to them.

  • obviously not.

  • June 6, 2011, 9:19 a.m. CST

    The TWILIGHT albums

    by blackwood

    Yeah, talk whatever shit you want about the films, but you're honestly retardeaf if you have a problem with the soundtracks. They are great. I have developed a deep camp affection for this series. I have a friend who is straight-up into it -- 31-year-old woman, reads the books once year all in an afternoon or something, is on Team Edward, so on and so forth. I don't judge her, because she's an intelligent woman in a healthy relationship and enjoying melodramatic supernatural teenage abstinence romance pornography is her goddamn right. Honestly, I think the TWILIGHT SAGA is coming dangerously close to being cool, because it's so damn uncool. Christ, the rifftrax alone are a great reason these films exist.

  • June 6, 2011, 9:20 a.m. CST

    I'm with Nordling

    by Monkey Butler

    I've never seen the movies, and I hadn't read a word of the books, but I hated the fuck out of them. Everything about them seemed repulsive, which was only accentuated by the popular reaction to them. But I figured I should give the books a chance. So I read the synopses on wikipedia, read Devin's summary of Breaking Dawn on Chud, and downloaded a copy of the last book. And my God was I wrong. The Twilight books aren't as shit as I thought they were. They're a million times fucking worse. It's not that people who like those books just aren't educated in genre fiction, or aren't horror fans, or are overly romantic. It's that they're a fucking morons. And not in the "you don't like what I like, so you're stupid" way, in the genuinely embarrassingly low IQ way. The writing is truly juvenile, the characters are all the same boring, voiceless cardboard, and the plot (what I gathered from skimming the book) was just inane. Anyone entertained by the asinine bilge that is this series, let alone anyone who thinks that the series is 'good', should be ashamed of themselves. On a different note, it annoys me that people lump Twilight with Harry Potter, just because they're both hugely successful fantasy series aimed at children and teenagers. While Harry Potter was often bloated and meandering, it was always literate, and always had a sense of its place in the literary pantheon. There is absolute no self-awareness to Stephanie Myers' bullshit.

  • June 6, 2011, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Too Right Monkey Butler

    by harryknowlesnothingaboutfilm

    Harry Potter while in need of a damn good editor (or editor of any kind period) at least had a certain something about it in its ideas where as twilight has nothing but a souless void of vapid morose characters that basically do nothing most of the time. I just cant see how young people identif-oh hang on......

  • June 6, 2011, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Another horrendous film

    by Lourdes Galan

  • June 6, 2011, 9:32 a.m. CST

    There is so much wrong with this series

    by lunalu

    This series instills the ideas that a womon is not a complete person unless she has a man. The series is damaging to young girls who are already at an age where their clothes are becoming more sexualized and they are uncomfortable in themselves. Bella is not a role model. In comparison to Harry Potter, Hermione is intelligent and does things for herself. Although she clearly has feelings for Ron, she doesn't let those feelings control her decisions nor does she think that a man stalking her is a good thing. Bella is useless, immature, and has no clue how to function unless some guy is fawning over her. I don't know how any girl can relate to her or even want to be like her.

  • June 6, 2011, 9:33 a.m. CST

    I can think of one thing worse than this film: Harrys Review of this film.....

    by harryknowlesnothingaboutfilm

    Christ in a cartoon.......

  • June 6, 2011, 9:37 a.m. CST

    So popular, so divisive...

    by WavingFlagsInSpace

    I love how riled people get about this series, though many of the comments here relate to the books (never read 'em, myself - life's too long to fill the meandering days with mediocrity). Are the films comparatively worse than the books? Are they wholly execrable? are there any creditable performances? any decent camerawork? any redeeming features at all? Bueller? Bueller? Fry?

  • June 6, 2011, 9:42 a.m. CST

    I could've sworn there were already 3 of these movies released.

    by Cletus Van Damme

    Shows how much attention I pay to this tripe. Also, if you're a straight male over the age of 18 who enjoys these "films," could you please get me Chris Hanson's autograph before you leave the decoy house?

  • Let's hope so. There are just so many other choices for good female role models in the fantasy genre. When people tell me that Twilight is wonderful, it makes me want to light them on fire. Then again, therapists are going to make a killing fixing the broken these books/movies are putting out there.

  • June 6, 2011, 10:04 a.m. CST


    by D.Vader

    "... Is getting overlooked in favor of a Spielberg talkback!"

  • June 6, 2011, 10:16 a.m. CST

    d. vader

    by Nordling

    Quint knocked it out of the park. Next to a Spielberg interview? I'd happily overlook this.

  • June 6, 2011, 10:28 a.m. CST

    They HAVE to break the film into 2 parts...

    by LargoJr

    If they just did an intermission, none of the viewers would come back from the vomitorium in time.

  • I mean really, REALLY bad.

  • June 6, 2011, 10:40 a.m. CST

    How thoughtful to send a lamenated invitation

    by SoupDragon

    Just incase there happened to be mood-setting rain when he opened it.

  • June 6, 2011, 10:49 a.m. CST

    After Twilight comes that vagina-fied take on "Battle Royale"

    by gruntybear

    So, no, to answer your question: the screaming throngs of pre-teens and their over-indulgent mothers will still be camped out on the sidewalks outside SDCC for quite some time yet.

  • June 6, 2011, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Totally, Nordling

    by D.Vader

    I hope you didn't take my comment as a slight against you. I just had the idea that no matter what other story comes out today, they will all pale in comparison to Quint's coup!

  • June 6, 2011, 11:04 a.m. CST

    I watched this trailer while taking a shit

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    Breaking Dawn? More like Breaking WIND.

  • June 6, 2011, 11:10 a.m. CST

    God this looks boring as hell

    by Jack Desmondi

    Granted, as an adult male, I'm not in the demographic that this thing is supposed to appeal to. But, jesus, a trailer should at least make an attempt to make the movie exciting. Looks like the whole movie is about werewolf boy being pouty 'cuz his love is marrying a vampire. Trailer doesn't work at all and is all over the place. Is it a romance? A drama? A Horror Movie (that's a REAL stretch). And worst of all--this is just a Part 1? The only half interesting thing in the trailer was when Kristen starts getting pains in her belly. Shades of It's Alive. Will the feutus start sucking her blood out of the womb? Now THAT might be an interesting film!

  • June 6, 2011, 11:20 a.m. CST

    That IS indeed Nasty in the Pasty

    by D.Vader

    Who carries a laptop into the bathroom with them?

  • June 6, 2011, 11:20 a.m. CST

    I don't know that I've ever seen

    by Bass Ackwards

    ...a movie advertised simply as a wedding and honeymoon, complete with an epic LotR style soundtrack. You keep waiting for the punchline but it doesn't come. I guess the punchline is simply the movie itself then.

  • June 6, 2011, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Should Have Used Protection

    by Waspo

    How is she shocked. He tore down that wall pumping his Vampire Jizz into her. I really hate this franchise. Granted Vampires have been wimps since Anne Rice took a stake at the genre, but this just takes it to a whole other POS level. Either way I haven't seen any of the movies, and this trailer doesn't convince me to change my mind. The real name of this movie is: Twinkle 3: We're having a baby.

  • June 6, 2011, 11:43 a.m. CST


    by johnnyrandom

    ...I can differentiate between score and soundtrack just fine, thanks. Both are utter shite.

  • June 6, 2011, 12:01 p.m. CST

    What's with this trend to split movies?

    by HagCeli

    The thing is, if this installment would come out as ONE film, I'd probably even go see it -- but paying twice? No thanks.

  • June 6, 2011, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Regarding the soundtrack...

    by HagCeli

    New Moon had a very good one. Nice selection of songs.

  • June 6, 2011, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Blueberry Papaya

    by Disruptors

    This movie makes my open pours burn!

  • June 6, 2011, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Breaking Dawn - more like, Boring Yawn....

    by spidar40

  • June 6, 2011, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Pile of shit.

    by TDH1138

    The fans of this series are fucking loons. It's shit. I watched the "trailer" during the awards last night (which should have been renamed the Twilight Shitfest Awards) listening to those stupid screaming girls scream over any hint of a bare chested douchebag was EVERYTHING that's wrong with movies like this. A local theater, after the last one came out, had an incident where some troll of a girl was caught masturbating in the screening. She would have gotten away with it had she not squirted on the back of the people in front of her. This is true. These Whackjobs ruined SDCC. They sold out the passes for last few years because of some dumb Twilight related panel. Luckily this year, one wasn't announced and it's already sold out, so hopefully it'll weed those fools out. OH and I'd like Stephanie Meyer and Dan Brown to fight in a "1 man enter, 1 man leaves" cage fight to the death. The winner gets a writing class and the learning annex.

  • June 6, 2011, 1:05 p.m. CST

    I agree. Shockingly bad movies. Ineptly handled

    by UltraTron

    with sci-fi channel production values and direction. Just tawdry work.

  • June 6, 2011, 1:11 p.m. CST

    I keep waiting for Blade to show up...

    by professor murder

    ..and show these vampires who's boss.

  • June 6, 2011, 1:13 p.m. CST

    "Rob, you should watch this."

    by bubcus

    "I'm not a 13 year old girl." "But they're really good." "I'm not a 13 year old girl." "But you might find Kristen Steward hot." "She's half my age." "Her mom then?" "Emily!!!" (Conversation between my sister and I a few years back. I have still not watched any of these movies and I have no intention to do so. I am not a 13 year old girl and I am secure in my manhood. Thank you very much).

  • June 6, 2011, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Franchise is terrible but that trailer is hilarious

    by Andrew Coleman

    People opening invitations. Even the people who have wanted you dead. I mean that was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Now I've seen all three films... That's right I did it. The first one has potential but failed EPICALLY in a lot of departments. It only got one thing right which was teen angst and sexual tension. Yet it failed in atmosphere and real tension. The "bad" vampires should have been somewhat threatening. Instead they we're lame. The second film is a joke. MST3K material through and through. The third film was about eight steps above the others. Good visual style. Solid action. Tension. It was self aware and made fun of itself. Wasn't a masterpiece but was solid... Now this fourth film just looks awful. Mind you the story just isn't for me I guess. But that trailer did nothing. Now if the warewolf falls in love with a CGI baby... I might have to check it out for the laugh factor.

  • I have no opinion in or have any of the soundtrack/ scores whatever of these films. But there is a difference between a films score ( music composed for a film) and it's soundtrack (which can include but is not limited to songs, dialogue, or reappropriated music from other sources) Hope you got that now mmmmkay?

  • June 6, 2011, 2:10 p.m. CST

    they need to do a twilight movie where....

    by SobchakSecurity

    Either you have a punisher meets casey jones from tmnt meets the bride from kill bill,character who is so hell bent on tracking down all these sparkly,day glo effeminate over emotional vampires and werewolves,and just goes all out fucking apeshit on them!!! I'm talking fucked up graphic violence and death,and blood and guts,everyone gets fucked up!!! Or like a govt sponsored vampire hunting and killing death squad who kills them in the most horrible ways possible. I mean burnings,shootings,stabbings,chemical burnings,torture, or if you really want to get fucked up,like have a baby vampire,and kill there family in front of them so that's the last thing they see before you kill them. Come on!!! You know that would be awesome!!! Or,arguably even better,a twilight movie with the ending of Return Of The Living Dead where this place in,it's Washington right? Forks?, just gets nuked the fuck out. I'd pay to watch that if that's what I was in for.

  • June 6, 2011, 2:12 p.m. CST


    by SobchakSecurity

    Those soundtracks,judging by the listing are ass like most modern soundtracks out there. The only one good band listed is the killers,everyone else is ass.

  • June 6, 2011, 2:13 p.m. CST


    by knowthyself

    Anyone that things those bands suck must have terrible taste in music.

  • June 6, 2011, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Breaking Dawn trailer reaction...

    by Paul Hanlin Jr

    Already at 53k hits. Prepare yourself:

  • June 6, 2011, 2:18 p.m. CST

    what's worse???

    by SobchakSecurity

    The actual shittyness,emptiness,hollowness,and one dimensionalness of this whole series,or that it actually takes it's self as seriously as it does? Really? "The event that will change everything"? Overstating your importance there aren't yah? Twilight saga? Right.... One thing that would make this worth watching is if the werewolf dude and his werewolf buddies like go to the wedding and get into werewolf form and kill everyone there! Yeah!! Like a whole shitload of werewolves just show up and fuck the shit up!!! People being ripped limb from limb,aten alive,running for there lives,blood and guts,packs of werewolves just ripping people up!!! Yeah!!! That would be awesome!!! Then it would at least be a lil closer to being more like an actual horror movie!!!

  • June 6, 2011, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Uh, he's walking now, cocknasty_buttstank.

    by Paul Hanlin Jr

    Yep. He's very much vertical.

  • June 6, 2011, 2:21 p.m. CST


    by Magic01273

    what you've just shown is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen on this site. At no point in this rambling, incoherent trailer was there anything even close to a film anyone here gives a gay-glittering-emo fuck about Everyone in this talkback is now dumber for having watched it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  • June 6, 2011, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Hey Nordling...

    by Franck

    ...If you "have not seen any of the TWILIGHT films, or read the books", how can you "definitely have your opinions on these films and books" ?

  • June 6, 2011, 2:26 p.m. CST

    What's worse, Twilight or

    by Nick

    AICN for shamelessy posting shit like fake pics and teasers, to trailers of twilight just for the hits.

  • The fact that there are Sparkly psuedo-vampire homo's and Fagwolves has nothing to do with this being just another generic teenage melodrama. You could replace vamps and wolves with zombies and aliens and it wouldn't make any fucking difference. Except Edwards cock would come off in Bella's filthy cocksucker if she nibbled too hard. This is fucking romance porn just like Sex and the City is lifestyle porn and The Time Traveler's Wife was even more romance porn sold as a Sci-fi movie involving time travel. It's all the same fucking shit. You could say Harry Potter was the same thing, The Hero's Journey told once again but at least those movies have some interesting idea's going on and are very well made. This whole series revolves around a moody self-centered little bitch which is how every single cunt on this planet views themselves as being the center of the universe. You know, shit like Twilight makes me sometimes think that it would be better to be gay, you know, find some guy that you can watch Transformers The Movie with, suck each others cocks and then get in a few hours of co-op on the PS3. But my love for pussy compels me to be drawn into the endless pit of need, whining, arrogance and insecurity that is women. GOD, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME???

  • June 6, 2011, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Just as Terrible looking as the others

    by D o o d

    I have no idea what the passion for these movies is. Then again I'm not a 13 year old girl!

  • The stupid cunt, Bella, is shrieking in agony while about to shit her sparkly-pseudo-vampire fag/dyke out of her filthy sewer of a cunt and the camera goes to close up of her vagina as the IT'S ALIVE baby grabs her labia, with both clawed hands, from the inside and tears her WIDE FUCKING OPEN as its head shoots out at the audience and screaming like the fucking Queen in Alien's. This will send every single female to the closest STD clinic to stock up on birth control thus preventing an entire generation of dumb ghetto trash whores from getting knocked up by their scumbag wigger boyfriends when they're 13.

  • June 6, 2011, 3:04 p.m. CST


    by SobchakSecurity

    Best post of the year right there.

  • June 6, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST

    sobchaksecurity, THAT'S CREEPYTHINMAN TO YOU!!!FACT!!!

    by CreepyThinMan

  • June 6, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST


    by Choohoo

    I like that idea now what about this....after the baby alien queen head thing comes out it transforms into a 16 wheeler with flames on the side. It farts, and then everyone laughs at how silly farts are. The end.

  • June 6, 2011, 3:11 p.m. CST


    by CreepyThinMan

    Let’s be reasonable and logical, and face up to facts. Women aren’t human; they’re not even like monkeys or orangutans. Those middle-headed, pea-brained, waste-your-money liberals might want to brainwash you into thinking that girls are good for something other than sucking cock, but you and I and every other sensible man knows better. These sluts were put on Earth to steal your money; be whining, complaining and arrogant; and to serve as reasonably comfortable holsters for your erections when one is aroused by the call of nature. First off, scientific research has it that women just aren’t the same as men. They don’t like things like camera’s or computers or state-of-the-art stereo’s, simply because the higher centers of their brains aren’t developed as well as a man’s. Furthermore, according to a very fine article in The National Enquirer, it’s been proven that women aren’t as smart as men. It takes real guts to admit it, but women are mindless creatures….Don’t let those detestable, ugly, disgusting, sour-pussed lesbian diesel-dyke Women’s Libbers fool you, along with their cotillions of homo yes-men Women are most happy when they are serving their twins gods of Mammon and King Cock… Men work hard, make money, grind the wheels of business, only to fall victim to early deaths dealt out by the insane caprices of vengeful sluts…They should be rounded up in a pig pen with pigs and fucked with sticks and forced to eat filthy offal, and maybe then they would appreciate a fine figure of a man who wants to own and take care of them, even if he is perhaps a wee bit nervous and high-strung and suspicious of some people’s motives….

  • June 6, 2011, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Ok Now you got me thinking

    by Choohoo

    How about a Twighlight Movie where a kid gets picked on in a new school he is attending. He then meets an old Japanese man who trains him to stand up for himself. At the end he beats the living shit out of the kid and everyone cheers. Its called Twighlight because it mostly happens right before it gets dark out. And the Japanese man is in his "twighlight years"

  • June 6, 2011, 3:13 p.m. CST

    I'd rather watch Fat Harry dance naked than watch a 'Twishite' movie.

    by Arkhaminmate001

  • Go back to the kitchen and make me a pie... I'll call you when I need you to open your legs!

  • June 6, 2011, 3:52 p.m. CST

    A new low for a series filled with them

    by LizardMan

    Vampire Wedding?!?!?! Give me Polish Vampire in Burbank

  • June 6, 2011, 4:14 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Pricklepants

    Everyone's invited!!!

  • June 6, 2011, 4:24 p.m. CST

    mr_incredible gets TB post of the year

    by Mel

    and i didnt even read any of the others. you cant top that one. kudos! lol

  • June 6, 2011, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Are they wholly execrable? etc etc yes they're fucking woeful

    by quantize

    They're so inane and silly that whatever technically redeeming features they might have are rendered utterly irrelevant. I confess, I could only sit through the first half of the first one, but I can't remember my intelligence ever being insulted by such prepubescent retarded brainfarting ever...and I'll include all of Von Trier's recent films and Transformers in that. Just because movies are polarising, doesn't actually mean they might be good. That's the ultimate cop-out excuse for shit.

  • June 6, 2011, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Is the wedding reception a classic Monster Mash?

    by Mel

    i hope its on the soundtrack, if so

  • ....your excuses are fucked

  • June 6, 2011, 4:34 p.m. CST

    watch this if you want to see how seriously people take this shit

    by TheNipplesofGodReturns

  • June 6, 2011, 4:36 p.m. CST

    If she likes Twilight, get Life with Archie

    by CreamCheeseAlchemist

    If I were a guy, I wouldn't dismiss a girl who's into Twilight as long as she's Team Jacob and was right creeped out by Breaking Dawn and the whole imprinting thing. And for the record: Edward and Bella are the ideal couple according to Meyer- waiting until marriage and having children. Emmett and Rosalie are the Freudian couple- they go at it like rabbits and she even says she sees her husband as the son she never could have. Jasper and Alice are ex-gays. Meyer thinks girls like Leah Clearwater (what is with these Native Americans with biblical names?) just swear off men after a boy dumped her, but most adults move on and date other people. And would Jacob have been interested if Bella and Edward had a son instead?

  • June 6, 2011, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Written by and for Mormon Virgins and...

    by conspiracy

    preteen sluts who spend nights fingering their dainty girl parts without the violence of real penetration. Fuck this...when I get off work I'll bang out a "Twilight" story the way it should be done in 30 minutes.

  • Not fucking fair :-(

  • June 6, 2011, 5:28 p.m. CST

    conspiracy! Yes, it's about time!


    I've been dying for a new story from you. I'll be checking this very space later on.

  • June 6, 2011, 5:50 p.m. CST


    by johnnyrandom

    ...anyone who DOESN'T think those bands suck has terrible taste in music.

  • June 6, 2011, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Vamp Sperm

    by D Jones

    I just wonder how an undead blood leech can produce sperm? I mean its dead right? I guess the Mormon house frau who wrote the books just made made her own undead conventions.

  • no one but uber nerds would go to see the dark tower.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:01 p.m. CST

    The Twilight movies are to movies . . .

    by James_Camera_On

    what Friday is to music. If you are a guy who is into Twilight movies, I hope you get a lot of girl (or "Twimom") dates out of the business. If you are a guy who is into Twilight movies and not interested in girl dates, I am totally cool with that.

  • Less than 2 months, that’s what Bella thought anyway; that was the last time she had menstruated. Missing a month was not unheard of, but by now her Holy Underwear should be spotted with Satan's stain, the monthly curse of God for committing original sin. “Oh God…” she thought as she mindlessly caressed her aroused and curiously sensitive nipples; “I can’t be pregnant…” she whispered to nobody, “it was only JUST in me an inch…not even touching my gift to him” Bella wept openly as she remembered wiping her vampiric lovers cold, clammy love from her all but untouched mound. “Oh no…maybe…it was enough!” sobs of fear, and unexpected joy wracked her chest as the tears fell down her impossibly perfect cheeks; she ran from the house to the meadow…Edward must know. Edward was waiting when she arrived. He sat there on a large fallen log in the moonlight, his aura adding it’s own sparkling light to that cast by the moon; “How oh so heartbreakingly beautiful” Bella though upon seeing whom she now knew was her unborn child’s undead baby daddy. “Oh Edward…I am so scared, but also so SO excited…I, I…THINK like I’m pregnant with our child!” Edward sat up, his eyeliner lined dead eyes looked at Bella hard, he wasn’t sure, but he sensed that she might be right, “huh…not so undead after all” he though as he rubbed his crotch.. “You Think?” Edward whispered, melting Bellas pounding heart its lust pouring through her body into puddle in the crotch of her Holiest pair of Holy Underwear. “You think….?” Edward motioned to the woods nearby, he had known this day would come, Bella had outlived her usefulness, and the last thing he wanted was to live out eternity shackled to a woman and a baby who would never grow up. From the shadows the Shape Shifter Jacob emerged, the moonlight transforming him into a creature not man, yet not quite wolf. “Well…lets not think Baby…” Edward said as Jacobs tongue lashed at his lips, thick stringy saliva dripping from them; “lets the 3 of us make SURE.”

  • June 6, 2011, 8:36 p.m. CST

    "What is with the trend of splitting movies?"

    by Nasty In The Pasty


  • June 6, 2011, 8:46 p.m. CST


    by proevad

    Who are these readers that like to read about these movies on this board? Come forward. I really want to know who you are. I won't hurt you I promise.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Ok, just watched the trailer

    by proevad

    I take it back. I will hurt you.

  • June 6, 2011, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Fucking brilliant start, conspiracy.


  • June 6, 2011, 8:54 p.m. CST


    by proevad

    had to literally get on his knees and beg people for money to make his films. I see things like these movies and honestly feel like weeping. Sorry for 3 posts in a row, but this agony runs deep. Goodnight.

  • June 6, 2011, 10:11 p.m. CST

    Gonna have to wait till next Twilight post for more stupidity...

    by conspiracy

    life gets in the way of my online shenanigans....

  • June 6, 2011, 10:16 p.m. CST

    IM SOOOOO happy

    by pauduro

    this crap is coming to an end AT LAST WEE WILL BE FREEEEEEEE

  • June 6, 2011, 10:28 p.m. CST

    This still seems 5x more "mature" than Harry Potter...

    by blhotz

    Not a fan of either. But would try this before watching a bunch of 10 year-olds in a magical fantasy.

  • June 6, 2011, 10:37 p.m. CST


    by BSB

    Can't wait!

  • June 6, 2011, 11:55 p.m. CST



    That looks like shit. And I enjoyed the first one. I thought the second one was o.k. but all the cheesy romantic moments dragged on too long. And now this. Holy shit does that look bad! I can't wait for the hour long wedding scene and honeymoon, really, I can't. Oooooh it's gonna be awesome! Is this in 3d?

  • June 7, 2011, 12:13 a.m. CST

    The insert shot of the wedding invite

    by justmyluck

    All the other invitations appear to be plain paper, including the one Jacob throws away, but the insert has a specially laminated surface, for the weepy rain to drip down. At least the teaser has the essential draw of Taylor Lautner's chest and abs, and raises the question as to how or why his werewolf form doesn't wear any shorts. The only one of these I saw was ECLIPSE, expecting a werewolf transformation, but the clan just went Jiffy-Pop into werewolves. The movie bored me to death with the teen lusty looks and longing angst, so I can't expect seeing these final installments.

  • June 7, 2011, 12:29 a.m. CST

    Fuck this shit, you wanna see a REAL vampire movie??

    by HS

    Check out Sonny Fernandez's shit, his movie The New Girls is REAL vampires, they kill, they fuck shit up and Liz Dockter is hot as hell and while your at it, you're due to check out all the dude's stuff, he's horror unsung hero right now...forget about this...check out the trailer, it's low-budget but the best horror flicks are...but it's genius, don't take my word for it either, read the reviews on the dude and check out the freaking trailer- http://www.

  • June 7, 2011, 2:44 a.m. CST

    Ah yes! Conspiracy's creative juices are flowing once again!

    by D.Vader

  • June 7, 2011, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Do you get that this is to girls as Rocky IV is to us???

    by Seth Brundle

    this movie hits on every female fantasy and secret emotion dudes, learn some female psychology thats why most girls will never understand why we love to see Rocky beating the crap out of Ivan Drago with glorious warrior background music its just a primal thing for guys, same here for girls

  • June 7, 2011, 5:58 a.m. CST

    These movies are so tedious

    by Rex Carsalot

    Just a real effort to sit through.

  • June 7, 2011, 7:01 a.m. CST

    One thing that makes no sense w/ TWILIGHT...

    by ninpobugei

    If a 90-year-old man was interested in an 18-year-old girl, we'd say that was disgusting and he was a borderline pedophile. But a 100-year-old vampire is interested in a teenage girl and we're supposed to think it's alright because he's locked in the body of an 18-year-old boy. I think the eeewww factor with these movies is through the roof. Just a ridiculous premise and truly awful (as in poor quality & cliche) stories.

  • June 7, 2011, 7:02 a.m. CST

    Seth Brundle, you're wrong

    by ninpobugei

    Real girls think TWILIGHT is crap the same as the men do. It's the girlie girls that like this pseudo-romantic garbage that you gotta stay away from. These are the same bimbos who bat their eyes to get their way and wrap stupid men around their fingers. Avoid both at all costs!

  • June 7, 2011, 10:20 a.m. CST

    That Indian guy in the wheelchair

    by buggerbugger

    Is he a chairwolf?

  • June 7, 2011, 10:46 a.m. CST

    I enjoy these movies

    by SmokingRobot

    But then I also thought 'Eight-Legged Freaks' was the Citizen Kane of giant bug movies.

  • June 7, 2011, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Re: Eight Legged Freaks

    by bubcus

    All good, smokingrobot, Eight Legged Freaks was a fun homage movie. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously and ran along the lines of fun films like Gremlins, Critters, and Arachnophobia. Twilight is to movies what Justin Beiber and the various boy-bands are to the music industry. I just leave it be to what its target demographic is.

  • June 7, 2011, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Any man who actually wants to see this movie is gay...

    by Arafel


  • June 7, 2011, 11:56 a.m. CST

    I had to come here and watch the trailer after seeing this:

    by fanboy71 And NO, I have no desire to see this or any other Twilight film, although I admit to having been forced to watch the first one. Which sucked.

  • June 7, 2011, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Edward Cullen= Cassidy from Preacher

    by CreamCheeseAlchemist

    Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Although I think the buttery eye color comes from Edward Elric.

  • June 7, 2011, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Can't wait...

    by Ator

    ... to Red Box this on DVD and then have a party with my friends to mock it like we've done with the first three movies. The films have gotten more hilariously bad each time and the content in this one will make for a memorable evening. EL OH EL

  • June 7, 2011, 2:42 p.m. CST


    by artdude102

    I'm gay and have no fucking desire to see this crap. Try again.

  • June 7, 2011, 3:41 p.m. CST



    Therein lies the Mormon polygamist mentality. It doesn't matter how old the guy is because he's an immortal and any girl is his for the picking. Thus spake CHOPPAH-thustra.

  • June 7, 2011, 4:21 p.m. CST

    whether I want to or not

    by taff

    My wife and daughter drag my son and me to everyone of these, so I'll be there. Up to now, I've read the books prior to the films because that's my style. Always want to read a book before the movie version so even though I don't particularly care about the books or movies, it's a family activity...but somehow, my wife was able to get out of seeing both Iron Man movies, though she did accompany us to Thor.

  • June 7, 2011, 5:31 p.m. CST

    I am sure this will be shit.


    I have read the books. I don't know why. The first film looks like it is literally going to be a the wedding and the honeymoon. Maybe the pregnancy. The second could actually have some good scenes if handled right but it is such a massive anti climax that I can't even guess how they are going to make it watchable. Some weird things happened in Breaking Dawn that they are either going to have to water down or remove completely. The birth scene will probably happen mostly off screen, and the fucking weird werewolf/baby love story is NEVER going to sit well. Bet it still makes a massive amount of cash though. Oh and the invitation to the Volturi.... isn't an invitation in the book. It's an announcement to hint that she will be turned into a vampire soon. The future-seeing vampire seen that it would stop them coming to kill everyone for a while.

  • June 7, 2011, 8:24 p.m. CST

    Gotta hand it to 'em

    by proevad

    Never seen a trailer where I wanted to beat the fuck outta someone with a baseball bat within the first 10 seconds. Who is that smell the fart actor that turns into a werewolf at the beginning? Is he given lines?

  • June 7, 2011, 8:27 p.m. CST


    by proevad


  • June 7, 2011, 8:29 p.m. CST

    Vagina is over-rated

    by proevad

    No pussy would be worth sitting through this.