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Harry thinks PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES could've been a really strong film, with a few changes.

Published at: May 20, 2011, 11:50 p.m. CST

Straight away, I do not hate this film, I don't dislike the film.   I'm not of the opinion that I really like it either.   Instead, I enjoyed my time with the film, but when it was over I felt like...  that's it?   Really?   The coolest effect in the entire film is a set of captured ships in bottles, caught in the maelstrom of their capture.   The zombies were limp.   The mermaids, kind of interesting.   The fountain of youth?  Kind of reminded me of THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER...   and I love the SPANISH designs upon the FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH...   and I really love watching Captain Jack Sparrow, no matter what he does.   He makes me smile, the whimsy in his everything just strikes my fancy.

That said...  that's the whole of my pleased as punchness.   

The problem with this film is a whole host of missed opportunities.   

1st and foremost - there's the lack of HEART in the film.   Nobody is sincerely doing anything for any reason whatsoever.   Jack is seeking the Fountain of Youth, because he's forced to.  Barbosa for the opportunities it gives him.   Penelope Cruz is seeking it to fill her father's soul - but I'm not sure if it was ever illustrated that GOD has anything to do with the Fountain...  and that it acts like the Holy Grail?  I don't think so.   All it would have given Blackbeard was a chance to relive his life for the better - going forward.   But he exhibits no signs of being able to do that.   In fact, the very devised mechanics by which the FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH works would forego any kind of salvation, as it effectively works like the Space Vampires from LIFEFORCE in a manner of speaking.   

The "romance" between Jack and Angelica (Ms Cruz) is of the past.   This is another of those wannabe Indy & Marion relationships - but without the passion or the connection.   I don't know if you can have Jack build a real romance on film, because at his soul, he's a clown - not to be taken seriously by man or woman.   That is how he has a power.   You marvel at him in words & action, but he never stays still long enough to see the soul of his eyes, and if you think about a heartfelt kiss...  he won't be there for it.   He's kind of the reverse PePe LePew that way.   He can get you to swoon, but that's all he's really interested in. The seizing of your desires, not the bedding.  Not the family and the long life together.   He has his compass which leads him to his heart's content.   THAT one device allows him to find whatever his heart desires - if he gives his heart to another, that compass becomes worthless - and he becomes ordinary.

Ok - so if Angelica and Jack can't work, where's the heart?

There's a very half-hearted play at creating a heart with Sam Claflin's Philip - a man of the cloth that is found bound to the mast of Blackbeard's ship, but later has an interesting relationship form with a mermaid that he seems to think is named Syrena.   Astrid Berges-Frisbey, who plays the mermaid in question is a very beautiful woman.   And her face, in what times she has on screen is quite emotional...  But there simply isn't enough here to make us care.   

Oddly enough, the best motivation in the entire film for a character's actions belongs to Geoffrey Rush (the best actor of the film) and his Barbossa.   He tells tale of how he lost the Black Pearl and his Right Leg.   This tale should have been a pre-credit adventure.   Had that happened, had we see Barbossa hacking away at his own leg as to not be taken by Blackbeard...  had he seen all his men taken, his beloved monkey...  left with a lifeboat and nothing else...   It could have been something.   Really.   Instead, you really have to stay with the film a long time to figure out what his character is doing, but when you find out - it has very little weight from the audience.   It's just a bit of dialogue - and it doesn't have the pain & hatred behind it.   Had that been there... my God, it would have been something.

Same with the Philip & Syrena plotline.   Had they both been imprisoned in the belly of Blackbeard's ship...   had we built a captive relationship..  and had we been given the pay off of what happens to a man who is pure of heart, when a mermaid takes him to the depths...  and had that whatever been spectacular...  well golly - it could've been something.

Instead - this feels like an entire adventure that is meant to set up the next adventure.   And I'm looking forward to seeing that.   After all...  Barbosa has an amazing new power at the end of the film.   Jack Sparrow is practically on his way to being an admiral pirate, and Angelica has a trick of her own (if you stay for the post credit scene).    

The film needed less exposition and more going on of a spectacular nature.   There isn't a single thing in this film that compares to the best scenes of the previous 3.   There's nothing really fantastical that has any weight to it.   Not at the scale of the Kraken or Davy Jones or the Undead Pirates or The Other Side or even those awesome fucking CRABS!

The only thing that really works great is Captain Jack Sparrow, but he's basically treading water waiting to get his Pearl.   SO - what you have here is something that amounts to an "ok" season premiere episode - that is all about setting up Barbosa, Sparrow and Angelica - to knock noggins in a future tale.   They set them up.   That said, fierce Cruz is not my favorite.   She's a 1000 times more powerful an actress when she's allowed to be emotionally invested as a character and a story.   Put opposite the clown, she feels like a deer in headlights.  Just staring.

I paid $45 to see this at the IMAX 3D here in Austin, and it looked beautiful, but the whole film just feels small.   It doesn't really ever soar and I'd go so far as to say it never attempts a full take off.   

I know... How can I not just hate this film?   Well, I love Disneyland & I love the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN...  I love seeing this kind of pirate adventure, I love Capt Jack Sparrow - but I'd kill to see what Guillermo Del Toro would do with these characters.   Or give Terry Gilliam the reins.   Edgar Wright would make one that would bend minds.   

Rob Marshall provided yet another reason to realize that pursuing the FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH is the folly for a man who has never lived a full life to begin with - and Sparrow says as much at the end of the film.   

SO what's the final verdict?

A lazy ill-thought out romp with Characters I love, not doing the things they're capable of, but not sinking the franchise.

Readers Talkback

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  • May 20, 2011, 11:54 p.m. CST

    post 0

    by HEADGEEK

    Harry sees PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES and writes fairly seriously about it

  • May 21, 2011, midnight CST

    Harry - $45?

    by UTexLex

    Was that for you AND the Mrs. or just you? I live in Dallas and even for IMAX 3D on the best screen in town, prices aren't $45 for a solo ticket. Just curious...

  • May 21, 2011, 12:02 a.m. CST

    utexlex

    by HEADGEEK

    that was two adult & 1 senior citizen ticket.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:02 a.m. CST

    It was ok.

    by Frank

    The film was enjoyable. It wasn't as bad as some other summer blockbusters.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:02 a.m. CST

    It was ok.

    by Frank

    The film was enjoyable. It wasn't as bad as some other summer blockbusters.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:03 a.m. CST

    This page has been unpublished or does not exist.

    by Gene Cowan

    You do not exist. Trust me on this one, guys.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:04 a.m. CST

    2 Adult and 1 senior citizen?

    by Gene Cowan

    Aren't you still just a child though, Harry? Why are you paying for an adult ticket?

  • May 21, 2011, 12:07 a.m. CST

    Interconnected to other films?

    by UTexLex

    How well-connected is this to the other films? For summer blockbusters, the first 3 POTC's were very interconnected...I watched all three this week and they were clearly outlined with interconnected references, gags, etc. I think that's one of the telling qualities of a strong franchise. Other than Sparrow heading out to seek the fountain of youth at the end of World's End, does this one connect to the others or seem disjointed and from a "new crew" like Live Free or Die Hard or Batman Forever did....with very little ties to the existing storylines from prior films (the "James Bond" complex).

  • May 21, 2011, 12:07 a.m. CST

    My God, if Gilliam or del Toro had filmed the ORIGINAL NOVEL...

    by Admonisher

    ...you know, "On Stranger Tides" by Tim Powers. Published in 1987. A masterpiece of dark fantasy. THAT would have been ... extraordinary! Alas, it can never be, thanks to Disney.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:09 a.m. CST

    It was a FUCK of a lot better than At World's End!

    by Jaster

    On Stranger Tides is not a great film, no. It spends a lot of runnig time just meandering around. The first 20 minutes or so are quite good, then there's another 20 minutes after Jack escapes that kind of slogs. By the end there's lots of interesting stuff going on and I was tuned in. A lot of the "jokes" fall flat and a lot of times we were all waiting for Sparrow to say something witty and were left hanging. Some people laughed anyway just because they really wanted that Sparrow smarminess even though they didn't get it. Blackbeard was sort of an ethereal villain and we never got a sense of who he was. The "zombie" guys were quite lame. Overall it was a pretty fun movie that probably needed a couple more action beats.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:15 a.m. CST

    is this the first film of another planned trilogy?

    by Titus05

    I mean is it definite that there will be another 2 Pirates movies?...they should have just made a standalone kick ass movie like Curse of the Black Pearl

  • May 21, 2011, 12:18 a.m. CST

    The wife and I enjoyed it

    by Superponte

    Better than 2 and 3. I enjoyed the smaller not "end of the world" scale that was present in the other sequels. It was Jack being Jack, and having a fun adventure. It is what people want to see. AND its a great set up for future adventures.

  • Dude, either you liked it or you didn't. These are no longer reviews, but more like summaries.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:27 a.m. CST

    $45 Goddamn Dollars??!?!?!?!?!?

    by Jobacca

    Looks like the real Pirates are at the box office...am I right?????

  • May 21, 2011, 1 a.m. CST

    RE: "Interconnected to other films?"

    by Dreamwriter

    Well, the first three movies were a single trilogy. This one is stand-alone, so that limits its connectedness. It does have jokes and gags that reference the older movies, but there's only really three main characters that show up from them - Jack Sparrow, Mr. Gibbs, and Barbosa. Nobody else who was ever aboard the Black Pearl show up, though every once in a while you might spot a familiar face among the British army.

  • May 21, 2011, 1:04 a.m. CST

    Guillermo Del Toro!! Exactly!!

    by antonphd

    I said pretty much every single thing you wrote here to my wife as we drove away from the theater. Including saying that I wanted Guillermo Del Toro to direct one of these. I don't know who's idea it was to have Rob Marshell direct a Pirates movie but they should have to give back whatever money they got out of this movie. Rob didn't 'get' the pirates movies. I think that much is clear. He 'technically' made the movie but it didn't have any play-fullness to it. No sense of wonder. And definitely no sense of heart. Except for Barbossa's revenge. And how the fuck do you waste Sweargen in the role of Blackbeard? Seriously. How? I hope the movie makes EXACTLY to the penny what it takes to get another and I hope to the gods that someone hires Guillermo Del Toro to direct it. Now. I've got to get back to watching Trollhunters and then 13 Assasins.

  • May 21, 2011, 1:18 a.m. CST

    harry is right, sort of.

    by HerbSewell

    finally a review on this site that isn't ridiculous and full of hate for POTC. I saw the film Thursday, loved it, as Harry says, anything with Sparrow is worth watching and so is this. In fact, I'm going to see it again, maybe 3 times in total, not the 8 times I saw part 1 but certainly worth repeated viewings. We can only hope that GDT will direct or Alphonso Curazon, he could also add a dark sense of macabre to this fantasy world. Me thinks the next adventure should be... well let the imaginations run wild.

  • May 21, 2011, 1:33 a.m. CST

    It just looks..

    by BookhouseBoy

    ..Shite!

  • May 21, 2011, 1:53 a.m. CST

    Saw It at a Midnight Screening Last Night...

    by DarthMusashi2112

    And I had a really good time, just a fun movie. All the hate is starting to get really old, just see the fucking movie for what it is...a fun Pirate movie. I for one, was really glad to get to spend more time with Captain Jack, he's almost like an old friend now...and unlike some of the other so-called reviewers on this site,m i could totally see how much time, love and effort went into this...I totally got my money's worth.

  • May 21, 2011, 2:10 a.m. CST

    You DID NOT pay $45 to see this movie tonight

    by D.Vader

    You paid at most $25 for two pple to see it, and the rest was spent on unneeded concessions. Liar.

  • May 21, 2011, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Oh, he paid for 3 pple to see this in IMAX

    by D.Vader

    Which equals $15 bucks a pop to make $45. Senior citizen discount is no discount at all, apparently!

  • May 21, 2011, 2:12 a.m. CST

    On More Conventional Tides

    by Doctor_Strangepork

  • May 21, 2011, 2:36 a.m. CST

    HEADGEEK, so this Indy & Marion relationship felt like Crystal Skull?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • May 21, 2011, 2:42 a.m. CST

    It could have been so much more

    by Crooooooow

    I saw this today and while I didn't hate it (and in fact liked it more than the abysmal 3rd film) I didn't love it either. I'm not sure if the editor lacked skill or if the studio had too many cooks in the kitchen (probably the latter) but a lot of the flaws could have been fixed with a tighter edit. Many of the fights ran way too long while many of the films important scenes felt rushed and cluttered.

  • May 21, 2011, 2:45 a.m. CST

    Here's the thing...

    by CMBat

    Just saw Pirates 4. Here's my background. Loved the first one, totally took me by surprise. A near-perfect launch to a franchise. I loved the second one. When I first saw it, I didn't like the early junk with the cannibal tribe, but that clears quickly and it sets up some key pieces, and in the end, it is a perfect second movie. I almost love it more than the first. As for the third movie...not great. I think someone thought that getting Sparrow back from death would translate better on film than it did. Crabs chasing him? Give me a break. It starts decent, turns bizarre, and then once the story gets going...it doesn't do much. I will say that the ending battle seemed epic and decent. I give the first movie a 9, the second a 9, and the third a 7. So going into this one, especially with all of the negative reviews, I didn't know what to think. And I think Harry is 100% right. About halfway through, I thought "OK, it's settling in, things are good." The mermaid battle at the lighthouse was great. Everything heading for the Fountain and once they get there is fine, not awesome, but fine. The twists and turns are there, fine, but predictable (no spoilers). But, the beginning is the problem. The scene where Keith Richards appears...is bad. The scene with the trap door...is bad. Someone in pre-production should have seen that coming. It wasn't rocket science. Have her playing with the trap door early before the soldiers arrive. I don't care. His escape that leads to the chase that leads to the Keith Richards scene...is bad. What sucks is that after all of that, the movie was solid but not great. The problem is, you already feel weird about it because of those scenes. And an entire Pirates movie without the Pearl...good grief. They better do 5 and 6 and clean this up just for that alone. This wasn't a horrible movie. It just could have been much better with not a lot of changes. It wasn't going to be a 9 or a 10 without major changes, but it could have been an 8. As it is, I look at it as a 4 early and a 9 later, so maybe a 6/7. And I'll still go back for more Jack.

  • May 21, 2011, 2:53 a.m. CST

    Why would somebody see this in IMAX when it wasn't filmed in IMAX?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Please, anyone, explain that to me; why see this in IMAX? IMAX is in 4:3 ratio, I would hope a Pirates movie would at least be 2.35:1. A viewer would miss 42% of the film.

  • May 21, 2011, 4:37 a.m. CST

    Saw this at the 5pm 2D matinee...

    by macheesmo3

    It was......okay.... It wasn't a HORRIBLE movie... but it was just ...lacking.... The cleric character was underutilized. And I say this because, it seemed to me that he was soley created t ofurther the plot ***SPOILER*** it's as if the writers created him solely to give a method of obtaining a mermaid tear.... his character was underwritten, under developed and under utitlized..****END SPOILER The action set pieces were amusing but not noteworthy, the acting was by the board (though Rush was THE MAN in this episode)... Mcshane was decent , yet I never felt the MENACE that I expected.... Hell he gave off more menace in his 5 minutes of screen time in sexy beast than he did in this........ It was, a 5 out of 10 star movie for me.... Right down the middle, I don;'t know if that's worse than the two sequels who aimed for the moon and fell short or not.... Is it worse too expect the stars and end up with mehhh.... or to expect nothing and get much of the same?

  • May 21, 2011, 4:42 a.m. CST

    oh and cmbat

    by macheesmo3

    I enjoyed the first movie too, but if you are ranking ALL MOVIES THAT HAVE BEEN MADE on a 1-10 scale and you gave curse of the black pearl a 9 and the sequel a 9.......... well that hardly leaves much room for the 2001's and Citizen Kane's,Wages of Fear,The Exorcist,African Queen Treasue of the Sierra Madre's , Raiders of the Lost Arks, Star Wars, Seven Samurai's ......etc of the world much room eh? Seriously, the original film was a hell of a lot of fun, but noone in their right mind could ever make it more of a 7 on a 1-10 scale..... That means 70% of perfection..... that ain't bad biscuits if yo mama can make em ya know? ;-)

  • May 21, 2011, 4:42 a.m. CST

    Imax = 1.44:1

    by Flip63Hole

    Pretty close to 4:3, though. 4.32:3...

  • May 21, 2011, 5:39 a.m. CST

    Why bother? The POTC series died after the first one.

    by Hooded Justice

    Number 2 + 3 were appalling messes, apparently made up as they went along. Each scene lasted three times longer than it needed to, purely to pad the movies out. In truth, they shouldn't even be considered movies - just a load of filmed 'stuff' randomly thrown together.

  • May 21, 2011, 6:47 a.m. CST

    The Geoffrey Rush Monologue

    by Ernie

    During the Barbosa speech where he talked about what happened to the Black Pearl and his leg I was fully expecting a flashback scene. The speech itself wasn't well written enough to carry out the emotional impact (despite GR's best efforts) and I'm wondering if a flashback scene was planned but ditched at the last minute due to budgetary constraints.

  • May 21, 2011, 7:11 a.m. CST

    All the pirates movies are good fun

    by the_scream

    I've enjoyed all of them. I don't get the critics. They more or less hated all the films except the first one and didn't really love that one either. I think this is the only film series I've watched where critics consistently attack but the audience have a great time. Seriously, how can anyone hate this movie?

  • May 21, 2011, 7:31 a.m. CST

    Great review Harry!

    by vitruvius

    Seriously. Summed up my thoughts exactly after watching it with the kiddos last night.

  • May 21, 2011, 8:46 a.m. CST

    You are right Harry and the harsh detractions are cartoonish

    by Arteska

    On the internet it's not enough to not like a movie or not respond to it. Instead it has to be labeled as "shit" or (literally) equated with ingesting maggots or used as an opportunity to personally attack people's ability to work in their field a single day longer. So many reviews I've read have this quality that betrays a kind of reflexive contempt that was clearly carried into the theatre. You can literally see the writer shifting uncomfortably in their seat, picking up their knees periodically, sighing dramatically to themselves, pissed and bored that they "have" to watch another Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It gets worse in review where the writer is clearly offended because they really like or are familiar with the book that the movie supposed takes its name from. I agree the movie is labored getting going but after it settles in it's not the abomination or affront that so many critics are painting it as. As a straight piratey adventure tale in serial tradition it's serviceable (more than that in spots and I guess that's it's crime. The problem is that there was a time when genre installments featuring characters/settings/situations like these had an understood place and people genially looked forward to or at least accepted that there was an audience for this kind of pulpy storytelling in movies, even if they weren't naturally a part of it (Tarzan, Lone Ranger, Zorro, or Republic stuff, etc). I really don't see another Pirates installment as fundamentally different from that stuff, except for the bizarre indignation that it's now a big modern worldwide enterprise for Disney now and not a throwaway, low budget something cobbled together in a forgotten corner of a studio but eaten up by 9 year old boys (I sat near a few from other families last night and it was pretty clear they were absorbed and had fun). There is some missed opportunity in this movie and some of its ideas are kind of not fully baked but the notion that there is no fun or interest here for people that like this stuff, or that the true crime of a new potc is that it's keeping Godard or someone from making more QUALITY CEEENEMA is obnoxious as hell.

  • May 21, 2011, 8:58 a.m. CST

    So Harry threw some vanilla into the mix...

    by doom master

    So...you not mad bro?

  • May 21, 2011, 9 a.m. CST

    the thing about the pirates movies is this....

    by emeraldboy

    they all of them have fantastic production values. the cinematography in the previous gore verbinski movies were all outstanding. and depps introduction as jack sparrow was outstanding. that scene where elizabeth swann sees her ghostly father along with other claimed souls was beautiful. Too much story was crammed into the second and third movies. especially the third one. which I couldnt stand. Elizabeth Swann and will turner were dull characters. but they were the romantic heart of the first three films. the best thing about the second film was davy jones and bill nighy was was great in the movie. as was stellan skarrsgard as the condemned boot strapbill turner. those scenes were chilling in a way. there was alway going to be a fourth movie. the makers made that clear at the end of the third one.

  • May 21, 2011, 10 a.m. CST

    macheesmo3

    by CMBat

    Sort of. I rate movies on how they were for what they set out to achieve. For example, I would give Die Hard 1 a ten. Period. Great flick, builds perfect, not too much complete silliness, it just works as an action movie. Can I give Die Hard a ten and 2001 a ten. I sure can. For their genres and what they set out to achieve, they were great flicks. I hate the notion that I have to give Die Hard a 7 because it doesn't fit into "Great Art."

  • I'm talking about those gay bashing hoopleheads who stink up the joint.

  • May 21, 2011, 10:11 a.m. CST

    And it sounds like Blackbeard was wasted in this picture show.

    by Al Swearengen

    How could they fuckin' unman McShane like that? Incompetent cocksuckers.

  • May 21, 2011, 10:18 a.m. CST

    genderblender on franchises... you're right

    by RandySavage

    and it's a good and interesting point you make. I really like all the PotC films, including the current one, because, as someone else said, they remind me of an old-fashioned pulp adventure serials, like Indiana Jones, but with great production values, cinematography, SFX, etc. But what Indiana Jones did better (for the first 3) is that each film was fairly self-contained and not teasing much of anything for some future film in the franchise. Still, I think franchises can be done well, properly teasing the audiences for some future adventure (e.g., the Joker card at the end of Batman Begins), but you're point is a good one - making an excellent single film needs to be the priority.

  • May 21, 2011, 10:49 a.m. CST

    genderblender, I think you win post of the week.

    by notspock2

  • May 21, 2011, 10:50 a.m. CST

    by redkamel

    I stopped watching POTC after the second one. Why? The first one was great. But in the seconn.... -Jack was a fool pretending to be a pirate, not the other way around (to quote another TBer). --The story was complex and made absolutely no sense. -There was way too much magic. Sorry, but pirates don't live in a magical world. Occasionally there should be a touch of the occult (Cursed gold and the Black Pearl). But Krakens, undead pirates, and mystical things everywhere? Stupid. -They took everything good from POTC and made it bigger or longer, thus making it boring. -There were way too many rules and characters going on. Now, I can follow a complicated movie, POTC 2+ felt like kids game where they were making the rules up as they went along. I vowed to never watch another one again when I heard there were "Pirate Kings" and all that crap. Good job ruining what could have been an awesome franchise of stand alone adventures, each with different characters that had Jack Sparrow thrust into their lives to play havoc and bring them along on some weird ass adventure. Instead I got 3 hour, 25 character mess. Also, the weather is never cloudy in the movie. It drives me nuts and is distracting and makes me want to go blind. In the Carribean/tropics, the weather changes all the time and it rains often. I will unfortunately be "seeing" POTC 4 tonight as a favor to a 5 week bedridden friend.

  • May 21, 2011, 11:55 a.m. CST

    The idea the first 3 films were a "trilogy"

    by Jaster

    Kinda horseshit. There was only 1 POTC film planned. It had a great arc, the characters all paid off, the story was closed and overwith. Then the box office rolled in and they created 2 more films. THOSE films are the epitome of "tacked on". The took some of the tools and most of the characters of the first film and developed a whole other mythology, that in some ways even CONTRADICTED what was set up in the first film. For example, remember Barbosa's "Those are more like guidelines" line? Well, the third film was all about how those "guidelines" are ironclad pirate fucking LAW! Which is total and complete nonsense of course.

  • May 21, 2011, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Movie franchises

    by Wormie1

    I don't think the franchise model of filmmaking is necessarily a bad thing. The Empire Strikes Back wasn't just another Luke Skywalker adventure, it established Star Wars as a saga and was dependent on a further installment to conclude the story. I think making movies with one eye on sequel possibilities (note that the first POTC came complete with a subtitle, implying it was the first of a series) is preferable to the old sequel of strategy of cobbling together a further film just because of the first one's box office success (e.g. Jaws 2, Speed 2). Anyway, I generally agree with Harry's review. On Stranger Tides is a fun film, which could have been better, but is not deserving of some of the vitriol it's been receiving. Here are some example of truly awful sequels: Superman IV, Batman & Robin, RoboCop 3 - get some perspective, haters.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:10 p.m. CST

    cmbat

    by macheesmo3

    I'm not saying you can't make Die Hard a 10(though I may disagree), I'm saying that making POTC a 9 is a bit ambitious is all..... I can't see how the first pirate movie is only one step away from some of the bestest movies ever made...

  • Sorry, but that's just a really stupid comment to make. Its a fantasy film series. Its been that way from the beginning. If you don't like skeleton pirates or sea monsters, watch Cutthroat Island. Or The History Channel.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:28 p.m. CST

    On franchises, trilogies, quadrilogies, sagas....

    by Horgy

    Genderblender hit the nail right on the head. A "franchise" movie is an effort to cash in on the success of a "first" movie. I don't know many First movies that were designed from the beginning to be a franchise (except maybe Harry Potter, LotR, and Narnia, but those were already established as multi-part stories before the movies) and the franchises that have sprung up around some movies almost invariably go downhill. <p> I don't like the idea that a successful movie HAS to have a sequel. Although many sequels have been good, expanded and helped the universe of their series, the series would have been well enough left alone. Some of the best sequels were, honestly, unnecessary. Empire Strikes Back, Aliens, Terminator 2+, Matrix 2&3, Jaws 2+, BttF 2&3 are all examples of unnecessary sequels, and it shows in the shoehorning in of "oh yeah" details and moments and concepts from the first movie, and then trying to fit the "saga" to the first one. <P>Before you give me shit about "badmouthing" these sequels, let me explain: These are all fine movies, and I really enjoy them. But the first movie in each of these series could, can, and does stand alone. The Firsts all had an ending, a denouement that was satisfying, and you didn't really need anything else. It was just *that* story being told in 2 hours. You would have been happy to know that Luke blew up the Death Star, made a friend and probably got the girl. You would have been happy to know that Chief Brody escaped from the shark, Ripley escaped the Alien, Arnold beat the Predator, and Sarah Connor squished the Terminator and saved her son. <p> But almost none of the "Second" movies can stand alone. They end on cliffhangers. There's more that needs to be told, and that's when the filmmaker has you by the balls/wallet. There are few movie sequels that are made to further the art of filmmaking and storytelling. Sadly, now, many movies are just setups for the next one.

  • May 21, 2011, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Beignets

    by CreamCheeseAlchemist

    What makes one's expectations go out of whack? Is it that you don't like the movie's message? Or is that you only can afford one of the action figures and at your age, you've stopped collecting characters you identify with. You want that Captain Jack so bad, just a little one that fits in your pocket. No one need ever know but you. Then comes the 4 inch Green Lantern. There can be only one, your shelf space is limited. Do you really want more creatures? Maybe you just want the GI Joe-looking Hal Jordan because in your heart, you're more like Carol Ferris. Maybe the Hal-and-Sinestro or Hal-and-Abin two-packs are more your style. Maybe you're going to go to Comic Con and you know you should want the Carol Ferris Barbie exclusive but you don't. I sure as hell do because I like women.

  • It may have gone up to $30 a pop since I last checked, but it was $25 before. Of course that includes a voucher for food, but still, $45 is nothing.

  • May 21, 2011, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Harry you are so right!

    by Mike

    I think I MIGHT have liked this movie a little bit more than you do, but I agree with most of what you said, especially regarding Barbossa. I wanted to see that battle too. When he was talking about it I thought they were going to cut to it, but instead we just got sounds of cannons firing. One of my problems with the film was not knowing his motivation at all until later in the film. In the beginning whenever it cut to him I was confused as to why he was even in the movie. If they had shown the battle in the beginning I would have enjoyed the opening more. That said, once he explained his motivation I was much more into the film. Also, yeah, the mermaid romance didn't quite work, but the mermaids were interesting and had my friends and I debating about them after the film.

  • May 21, 2011, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Macheesmo3

    by CMBat

    Exactly my point. You said you don't see how the first Pirates movie is one step away from some of the best movies ever made. Personally, when it comes to trilogies and fantasy/action movies, I put Pirates 1 and 2 both up at the top of just about anything except the Lord of the Rings series. It beats the new Star Wars, Indy trilogy, etc. I actually personally do think that Pirates 1 and 2 were that good. Not your job to tell me my opinion can't be mine. The only reason I don't give them a 10 is because LOTR gets those across the board.

  • May 21, 2011, 3:14 p.m. CST

    You think Depp will be back for 5?....

    by BlackBriar

    It's in the works and wasn't to thrilled on that...and he look he didn't fully embrace Jack sparrow this time around.

  • takes up most of the screen and is annoying

  • May 21, 2011, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Thanks for the write up, Harry

    by jimmy rabbitte

    Now I can feel secure in my decision to not even bother with this film, until it's available on Netflix; and even then I'll not be in any hurry.

  • May 21, 2011, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Thanks for the write up, Harry

    by jimmy rabbitte

    Now I can feel secure in my decision to not even bother with this film, until it's available on Netflix; and even then I'll not be in any hurry.

  • Fun, liked it, by no means great, plenty of problems, can't wait for the franchise to get "back on the ride" if you will in the next one which it is set up to do.

  • May 21, 2011, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Every

    by choonie

    "feels like an entire adventure that is meant to set up the next adventure.

  • May 21, 2011, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Oops....Harry, You've been using that line alot...

    by choonie

    "feels like an entire adventure that is meant to set up the next adventure" as well as wanting Guillermo Del Toro to direct every fucking movie known to man.

  • May 21, 2011, 5:14 p.m. CST

    The Hate Train is moving fast, but I'm jumping off anyway.

    by James_Camera_On

    I liked On Stranger Tides a lot. And I am impressed with Harry's review. It was focused, informative, positive and clearly written. [A sentence I never thought I would write.] I wish the movie had been longer so as to incorporate some of Harry's suggestions. I can certainly agree it could have been improved. Nevertheless, as a piece of entertainment it worked very well. I liked it a lot, would have no problem seeing it again, and definitely found it a step up from POTC #3. In other words, and I must stress this given what I am about to say -- the film is open to constructive criticism and I am fine with that. That being said, I have a great problem with many of the critics. Frankly, the haters are starting to bother me. At first they were a bore. Now they have come to be something worse. Note: If you are a regular viewer of movies and saw On Stranger Tides and hate it, fine. Share it brother. But if you are a professional (or semi-professional) hater-critic and see in this movie (or an even better example, the superb Sucker Punch) yet another reason to work out your issues while ranting as you sort your socks, give it a long rest. Seriously reconsider your relationship to movies and film criticism. It's beginning to look like you are quite unhappy in what you are doing. No one should suffer so much. You need to examine why you are torturing yourself. And your readers. No one should be writing on this site or for the public who does not love movies, cannot communicate that love, and cannot keep a sense of proportion. It's one thing to vent every now and then. Lord knows, I do. It's quite another to become a full-time venter or to lash out furiously for no reason. I grant there are plenty of reasons to despair over the state of movies these days -- a Smurf movie and a Michael Bay movie will be appearing soon. But that is a feeling that must be fought. And I'm not seeing nearly enough of such fighting these days.

  • May 21, 2011, 5:20 p.m. CST

    so its another bridge???

    by vulturess

    wtf?

  • May 21, 2011, 8:12 p.m. CST

    Hit fix has firts x-men first class review!!

    by knowthyself

  • Haha, choonie.

  • May 21, 2011, 9:17 p.m. CST

    I really liked it

    by Dranem

    On par with the first in many ways, and a lot breezier than the second and third. I think a lot of the criticism leveled at this is odd because it can also be applied to Thor which was universally loved on this site. To each his own I guess.

  • The way things have been going these days, that's almost blockbuster levels. I agree the story was stupid, but the interactions between all the pirates was pretty cool. I'd dare say, that the characters are almost cool enough to override the ill created by the misused story (almost). Also, how could you not like the mermaid scene? That was the best scene in the whole movie.

  • May 21, 2011, 10:14 p.m. CST

    How can FAST FIVE have 79% on RT and this only 35%????

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Sometimes I don't feel like I don't know what professional critics are thinking. I don't know where their line between a good movie and a crappy movie is.<BR><BR> I enjoyed FAST FIVE. It had a whole bunch of ridiculous stuff, but whatever....it was a fun ride. Same with THOR. Same with this movie.<BR><BR> 79% to 35%????<BR> Are you really telling me there's a 44 percentage difference between the quality of Fast Five and this movie?? At least in terms of professional critic opinion? You gotta be kidding me.<BR><BR> I enjoyed this movie more than the last one. Depp did a great job and so did most everyone else. Critics saying they could not understand Cruz are complete morons, or in need of hearing assistance. The missionary/mermaid subplot was NOT in the way and NOT that annoying - it was fine and barely took up any time.<BR><BR> This was a fun ride. How can critics look at Paul Walker and Vin Diesel racing Dodge Charger police cars down the street - then look at the mermaid sequence here - and give Paul Walker the overwhelming win? This is crazy. <BR><BR> This movie was GOOD.

  • May 21, 2011, 10:21 p.m. CST

    They will make crappy movies as long as people pay to see them.

    by SmokingRobot

    So stop, ok? I'd like to see some better movies for a change.

  • May 21, 2011, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Del Toro directing a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel

    by lv_426

    I am sure he would do a good job with it, and bring some interesting creatures into the mix. Thing is, I would much rather see him get to make Pacific Rim and then At the Mountains of Madness. Del Toro being forced to make a Pirates film would be a waste IMO.

  • May 21, 2011, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Trust me guys, don't believe the hype, GO SEE THIS!!!

    by GuyRitchieRocks

    Blend the best parts of the first three Mega-Box Office Smash Hit Pirate movies add a dash of Rock & Roll , stir with a chainsaw and you have Captain Jack Sparrow and a whole new f!%*)*#@!$g hilarious adventure. You'll wish you were 10 again. See It!

  • May 21, 2011, 11:22 p.m. CST

    I'm just happy this Pirates had an ending.

    by Tarijeno

    Dead Man's Chest didn't have an ending. At World's End had a giant ending that really didn't work for me. On Stranger Tides definitely felt more like an old fashioned, Errol Flynn-ish Pirate movie. A lean, unserious story, a likable main character and some practical sword fights.

  • May 21, 2011, 11:27 p.m. CST

    Great movie, ignore the critics.

    by jonsnow

    I had fun watching the movie. Penelope is much better looking and a better actress than Knightley. I hope Salma Hayek or Zeta Jones shows up in the future movies. It was fun to watch. Blackbeard stole the show. Critics today want lots of action and do not appreciate a slower pace of this film compared to the past three. Buy some popcorn and have fun.

  • May 21, 2011, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Oh now I know what a POTC made for TV movie would be like.

    by Orionsangels

  • May 22, 2011, 12:10 a.m. CST

    franchise fatigue

    by lv_426

    I am definitely getting tired of the endless "franchising" that Hollywood is doing these days. There are very few franchises that have three good films in them anymore. I think that the only way for a trilogy or franchise to have the best chance of not going off the tracks later on, is that right out of the gate, it needs to have all three films written up as if each film is just chapter one, two, and three of one big story. That is not only hard to do, but a ton more work. The only times we've seen them do this type of thing is when there is a big book series like The Lord of the Rings. Even with that, they are now dividing up The Hobbit into two films. Maybe it will work just fine, but it seems odd that they were able to make each of the three LOTR novels into approx. 3 hour films, yet The Hobbit needs two films (equal to approx. 4-6 hours depending on each film's length). So yeah, I agree that the franchising is kinda killing the soul that some stories need to have. But to counterpoint, there are some franchises that needed some pre-planning. Look at the Alien and Terminator sequels after Aliens and T2. Surely not having Cameron around for T3 and Salvation hurt, but there is no reason that they couldn't have come up with slightly better films in the cases of Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Terminator 3, and Terminator Salvation. So maybe in some cases, the thinking ahead method of film franchising might be better in the end, as long as they don't forget to focus on making sure that the first film in any franchise the best it can be.

  • May 22, 2011, 12:57 a.m. CST

    Pirates 4 is a GREAT time at the movies!

    by thot

    Just saw it tonight. The wife, teenage daughter, her boyfriend and I all enjoyed it. A rollicking good time overall. Definitely better than pt.3 and maybe even better than pt. 2. Funny, adventurous and even a bit scary at times (evil mermaids, yikes!). A great way to essentially re-launch the franchise. After "At World's End" I was worn out and had Pirates fatigue. "On Stranger Tides", on the other hand, left me wanting even more and anticipating the next one! Thumbs way up!

  • May 22, 2011, 1:46 a.m. CST

    Just got back from seeing it..

    by Lao_Che_Air_Freight

    I liked it a lot once it got going...the London parts were the hardest part for me to swallow, though it did have some good bits, Jack's intro primarily, and Barbossa and the King, but overall the setting seems out of place and felt more like the recent Sherlock Holmes or Lester's Musketeers (not that there's anything wrong at all with either of those films, but it just wasn't piratey). Barbossa is one of my favorite characters from the film, so I was glad to see him still pretty much front and center in the storyline, especiially once he ditched the make up and powdered wig. He's consistenly the best Pirate in the classic sense, and even McShane who I thought was fine, can't hold a candle to Barbossa in full "Yarr" mode. Loved the Mermaid attack, them carrying her through the jungle in the tank. Dug the look of the fountain, yes, totally City on the Edge of Forever-Guardian shaped. Ships in the bottles...awesome..magical rigging..nifty. The chalices...cool...will make great prop replicas. Teach having his beard lit when he first comes out..great. Still, I miss the old gang, and regret not seeing more of them. Having Gibbs along was nice of course, but while I think I've had enough of Pintel and Ragetti(sp?), Marty, Cotton and Mr. Cotton's Parrot are always welcome. Didn't miss the two guard guys, did spot the "best pirate I've ever seen" guy. Still not sure Marshall is the right guy for these films. I have the feeling if they had gotten Verbinski back, they wouldn't have pulled so many punches, and I think it hurts the film overall. I understood and expected them to scale back the bombast of the last two and tighten them up, but it still hurt a little when not one cannon shot was fired when the Spaniard's sailed past, or only hearing of the fight for the Pearl. Some scenes captured that rollicking tone of the other films (planning the mutiny around the table, the fight at the fountain), while others got the supernatural vibe right (mermaid attack, the rigging), but for each of those, there's a moment where they just try to turn on the Jack Sparrow theme while something is happening on screen, and it just isn't clicking. Still had great time, and "I can go like this" and the prospect of more Barbossa won me over for at least one more film, easy.

  • May 22, 2011, 4:53 a.m. CST

    ian mcshane

    by BandysTract

    is he in this a lot? does the movie make good use of al swearengen? these are the only things i need to know about this movie

  • May 22, 2011, 6:55 a.m. CST

    I figured it out!! I KNOW why POTC4 was so blah/lame!

    by LargoJr

    It's the fucking MUSIC! If you notice, they use the same dame cues they have in every other Bruckheimer flic. It's practically recycled. But that's not the clincher. They try ramping up the 'vibe' of whatever the scene is showing, even if whats going on is completely 'non-event'. It's so ridiculously overblown, that 10 minutes in you simply stop caring about ANYTHING that happens simply because they wont ease off on the bullshit 'tension/excitement' building music cues. They would get better results if someone would just stand behind your chair & beat you over the head with a dead chicken any time something important happened. On a side note, I can't help but roll my eyes at the stupidity of ANY female being on board a ship in those times, as women were believed to be bad luck and were raped, then beheaded as an offering to the sea to stave off curses and ill winds.

  • May 22, 2011, 7:24 a.m. CST

    While we're dreaming...

    by lagomorph

    I want to see what David Lynch would do with this franchise. Give him Pirate5.

  • May 22, 2011, 7:58 a.m. CST

    'It's the fucking MUSIC!' More horrible Zimmer?

    by quantize

    The dude CAN write good stuff if he has to, but the scores for these Pirate movies are really cliched and badly overcooked..NOT effective in driving the action, rather only drowning it out.. Same as Batman Begins, that initial cue that NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP...CAN WE HEAR SOMEONE TALK or have some FUCKING TENSION for a change instead of filling every silence with pathos and humor? It's the bane of most modern films. See Limitless or Sunshine for a fucking tasteful score..less is more (irrelevant of style/genre)

  • May 22, 2011, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Fat Harry liked a shit film?

    by Nabster

    Typical. I friend actually saw fat Harry watching this in the theaters. He said Harry brought two fried chickens and a loaf of bread in a backpack.

  • May 22, 2011, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Michael Kahn listed in credits as Assistant Editor

    by Lao_Che_Air_Freight

    Not sure much work he did on this picture, but I was pleasently surprised to his name come up while I was waiting for the coda.

  • May 22, 2011, 10:47 a.m. CST

    International box office record

    by RobertCrane

    The powers that be could give a shit about how we truly feel about this movie. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110522/ap_en_mo/us_box_office;_ylt=Akp7CEfAIy575SQgg2zzfP0wFxkF;_ylu=X3oDMTJqZGJlOTViBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTEwNTIyL3VzX2JveF9vZmZpY2UEcG9zAzEEc2VjA3luX3BhZ2luYXRlX3N1bW1hcnlfbGlzdARzbGsDcmVib290ZWRwaXJh That is what they look at, the bottom line.

  • May 22, 2011, 1:31 p.m. CST

    I'm just pissed that...

    by Orbots Commander

    ...going to the movies was once a nice budget/ economical entertainment option. And now it's becoming cost prohibitive. All my local multi-plexes for example, using Thor, carried the 3-D version with two dozen show times in multiple auditoriums, while a 2-D version only had two early day time show times. And the 3-D version ticket was $14 a pop. Add concession popcorn and soda to that, and you're looking at a $30 outlay for one person. WTF happened to movie-going? The theater experience is bad enough, and now price inflation on top of that? Fuck them in the ear, I say.

  • May 22, 2011, 4:17 p.m. CST

    U.S. becoming secondary as far as box office

    by iceman199

    Seems more and more of the opening weekend stories emphasize the international opening. The world must have caught up.

  • May 22, 2011, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Benedict Cumberbatch has been cast in The Hobbit.

    by scriptgirl_nipples

  • May 22, 2011, 4:59 p.m. CST

    Fat Harry has to buy three seats at the movie theaters

    by Nabster

    He also brings a duffle bag full of fried chickens and deep fried loaves of bread dipped in honey. Fat Harry is truly a fascinating and disgusting person at the same time. Somebody should make a documentary about his dietary habits and his love of every shitty film ever made. THE MAN WHO LOVED JUNK is what it would be called.

  • May 23, 2011, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Women onboard issue

    by CreamCheeseAlchemist

    First off, there were historical female pirates- Anne Bonny and Mary Read spring to mind. Obviously, it wasn't common back then which brings me to.... It's a franchise with zombies, fishpeople and mermaids. Historically accurate gender roles kind of misses the point.

  • May 23, 2011, 12:37 a.m. CST

    I Agree With Harry... WOW

    by Mako

    I saw this today with my family, and I have to agree with just about everything Harry said here. The movie was fun to sit thru, but when all was said and done... it was just... ok. We all felt the same way. Rush and Depp were good, but the whole backstory for Rush had no weight to it... cause we didn't find out about it 'til the end. And then the most grounded and interesting thing was the whole Philip/Mermaid storyline - which got regulated to the back of all story lines. It was the only thing in the movie that had HEART and was interesting to watch and see where it would lead. And then - POOF!! It was gone and never to be seen again. I am a firm believer Marshall was not the right man to direct this movie. The execution of the film felt lifeless. Directionless. I really do think the story could have been great, had it been done better. It makes me kind of mad, when so much money and talent seems wasted. And that's what I feel this movie ended up being. I miss Gore. And although I thought At World's End was a mess... I feel he was sorely missed in this film.

  • May 23, 2011, 1:23 a.m. CST

    Also agreeing with Harry

    by Lummox JR

    I found myself hugely at odds with Harry's review of the third movie, but this time I felt more at home with his review than with the others. The other reviewers led me to believe this film would be disappointing, kind of a "meh". Actually I enjoyed it thoroughly. Like Harry I do think the film needed more oomph that could have come from better writing; Philip was hardly a character, and giving him some real weight and showing more to the end of his story would have fixed that. There were a few other lost moments like that, including explaining Blackbeard's mysterious power over ships' rigging or his ability to save ships in bottles--just a hint as to the source of that would have been worth throwing in. Overall, not bad. I'm glad I saw it, and I liked it a heck of a lot better than the third film.

  • May 23, 2011, 6:55 a.m. CST

    See Thor instead..

    by baronphlegm

    I thought it was middling. Doesn't have the creativity of the prior films, we've had awesome skeletal pirates.. weird fishmen and Davy Jones.. the Kraken.. - This one has a few mermaids and two or three latexed zombies. Not dreadful, not great. 3D was a waste. As far as I can see Harry is being diplomatic, not negative.

  • a folktale which was taken as the truth by the conqustadores. Jesus fucking christ, you americans from the south, always putting god in everything. Give the fella a rest.

  • May 23, 2011, 8:56 a.m. CST

    I'd still like to see the next one

    by Wcwlkr

    Definitely doesn't come close to the first two, but Better than the 3rd. Plus I still loved Captain Jack Sparrow I thought he was still great.

  • May 23, 2011, 9:06 a.m. CST

    " what Guillermo Del Toro would do with these characters"

    by Professor_Monster

    Made them even more cardboard and the entire movie - including EVERY SINGLE SHIP would be CGI. Del Toro sucks - Please tell me what movie it is that everyone seems to have seen that proves him to be this great filmmaker -- Was it BLADE 2?

  • May 23, 2011, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Asimov

    by D.Vader

    Don't be as bad as these "Americans from the south" by making assumptions and generalizations about other people.

  • May 23, 2011, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Good review Harry

    by Marc

    Harry pretty much nails it here...Pirates was better than expected after reading the reviews here...Ian McShane needed to kill a few people to establish how evil he obvviously was supposed to be...Russian Roullette with annoying Penelope Cruz wasnt evil, no one believed she could die...Barbosa was amazing...Captain jack was back in the closet Jack, the flaming Jack of the last two movies almost killed the franchise for me...mermaids were awesome, although more of the relationship with Mr. church would have been good... Although I was happy to see the Spaniards come in and kick some ass, it seemed like a cop out to having to develop the story at the fountain.. Last but not least...we see a Fountain of youth movie and NOT ONCE do we see someone de age...WTF...we see a smaill cut on her hand heal and she isnt sick anymore....BORING...make her seem 10 years younger...make Barbosa younger...he needs a chemical peel for sure... I will see the next one...I am a sucker for a fun movie, just focus on the story making sense in this fantastical world you have created...

  • May 23, 2011, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Its a good Saturday mantinee flick.

    by shutupfanboy

    Which is more then I expect from X-Men at this point. I don't think it was as good as 1 and 3, but a hell of a lot more fun then 2 which maybe one of the worst films I have seen. They needed another scene or two with Jack/Missionary/Mermaid to make the last save mean something. I am just glad Jack realized what Angelina really was at the end and backed away from the kiss. Honestly, don't think we needed to see the Pearl being lost since the movie was at 2hrs and 17 minutes, no need for another 20 minutes when Rush talking about it was actually better. Keep Edgar Wright away from this shit, we don't need Simon Pegg in these flicks as well as the fat guy. I also don't understand the whole captive romance, they were both captives just the missionary was there longer. If anything I think the review is a mess more then the film.

  • This is just about spot-on, far as I'm concerned. I did think the mermaids were pretty cool. But certainly, keeping Rush on board for the entire series is the best thing Disney can do.

  • May 23, 2011, 11:28 a.m. CST

    HUGh

    by majortom25

    Did these reviewers watch the same movie? At the begining he did it because he was forced to but after say like a quater of the film he did it for penelope cruz's character.

  • May 23, 2011, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Well. its BO haul this weekend guarantees another POTC sequel.

    by Orbots Commander

    On with the yawning mediocrity, I guess. Ahoy!

  • I found very little wrong with the film I was what it was. I have more fun at potc than thor I might even see it again.

  • May 23, 2011, 12:58 p.m. CST

    it is not a trainwreck for from it

    by skiff

  • May 23, 2011, 1:07 p.m. CST

    professor_monster

    by Katet19

    Cronos, The Devil's Backbone, Pan's Labyrinth, and a distinct eye for atmosphere as well as a feel for pacing especially when dealing with classically creepy subject matter.

  • May 23, 2011, 2:11 p.m. CST

    God is dead.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    There is only CHOPPAH now.

  • May 23, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST

    d.vader

    by AsimovLives

    Certain americans from the south, then? That would satisfy your PC leanings? Because, like, it's not a known fact that the south of USA is very religious, right?

  • CRONOS, THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE, PAN'S LARYRINTH. They are movies spoken in spanish, so you have to read subtitles. BLADE 2 and the HELLBOY movies proved he can work in the studio system and on (moderatly) bigger budgets and do fun easy to please popcorn movies. I have enver seen MIMIC, though, and i intend to keep it that way.

  • May 23, 2011, 2:56 p.m. CST

    I paid $44 for 2 tickets to Tron Legacy

    by JediRob

    So I don't think $45 for 3 is exaggerated. Have you people ever gone to an Imax 3-D. They are not cheap.

  • May 23, 2011, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Anarky's debate with Darkseid

    by CreamCheeseAlchemist

    It's the idea of an avenging god that's the problem. The proof is after you die. And then it's all, "I followed Pascal's advice." And God is pissed because you just acted out of fear instead of, I dunno, being a steward of creation. anyway, some stuff on mermaids: tinyurl 3rzdwh8

  • May 23, 2011, 5:42 p.m. CST

    Fat Harry likes another shitty film

    by Nabster

    What a surprise. The whole franchise is rotten, even the first one is GARBAGE. People who like these films are usually dumb people with no taste.

  • May 23, 2011, 8:09 p.m. CST

    Uh.....wouldn't that be fucking true of nearly EVERY bad movie?

    by Rex Carsalot

    That it would be good with a few changes?

  • Sorry. Call a priest.

  • May 23, 2011, 9:01 p.m. CST

    To CHOPPAH and ASIMOVLIVES...

    by GravyAkira

    "Your lack of faith disturbes me"! You'll get what you wish for guys! Not too late to repent!

  • May 23, 2011, 9:41 p.m. CST

    Faith isn't the problem

    by CreamCheeseAlchemist

    It's when you skip over the part where Jesus says "render unto Caesar what is Caesar's"...

  • I didn't expect much so I enjoyed what I did get. This one's in the "Prince Caspian" slot for me this year. Early-ish summer movie, low expectations, definitely matinee screening to save a buck or two. It's how I approached it and apparently it's also how Disney approached it. I think we're in sync on this one and I can't think of a thing Harry wrote that I don't agree with. There was a really, really good movie standing in the shadows of this movie. It just never manifested. That's fine. The one thing I just couldn't enjoy was all the magical, mystical Black Beard shit. Ok, first one (Curse of the Black Pearl) we're in a "real" world. We've got Royal Navy, we've got colonies and governors, and it's kind of... "real". This makes ghost pirate skeletons more interesting and more exciting. Then the second and third installments appear and we get a Kraken, Octopus face Davey Jones, Underwater fish-pirates, Calypso doing all her shit. It's enough to make you wonder where the real world went and I found myself thinking "The supernatural elements of this franchise are so much more entertaining when they stand out. Now with Black Beard and his magic sword controlling his ships rigging I'm starting to wonder if there are any pirates out there who don't have magic powers. If there aren't then why was anybody surprised in the first one to see skeleton pirates attacking the town? That shit probably happens every other day in Pirates of the Carribean world. These are entertaining enough but they've pushed it too far and in the process I can't suspend my disbelief enough to like them the way I liked the first one.

  • May 24, 2011, 3:35 a.m. CST

    Admonisher, you are so right.

    by Hat Man

    ... and Harry, I don't think there will be any sequels to this limp fish of a pirate film. I think this film proved how disinterested everyone in the creative team really was. I actually contemplated going to sleep in the cinema while watching this, which is something I never do. I was very tired and the cinema was warm. Then I thought: Hell's bells, I'm going to sleep in a Pirates of the Carribean film? What's with that? I didn't go to sleep, but really, the effect was the same.

  • May 24, 2011, 3:37 a.m. CST

    Mimic was a fun little horror flick. Great atmosphere.

    by Hat Man

    You don't have to read the subtitles, Asimovlives, but it does help understanding the film.

  • Even the first one was absolutely terrible. If you like any of them, you are a dumb person.

  • May 24, 2011, 3:09 p.m. CST

    THOR should still be in IMAX 3D

    by David Ledford

    Thor deserved more time on the IMAX screens. It's a better movie I mean it only got 2 weeks wtf? And it gets pushed for the 4th Pirates movie? Bullshit!

  • May 30, 2011, 8:22 a.m. CST

    twice now

    by taff

    I've seen it twice, once with my wife and once with my son. As soon as the credits started my son leaned over and said, "The critics are wrong. It's a good movie." As a family we agree, not as good as 1 but superior to 2 & 3 even though it lacks the few memorable scenes in 2 & 3. I was expecting a family reunion at the end with Dad...