Cool News
Schwarzenegger Film Projects On Hold
Nordling here.
We don't do celebrity gossip at Ain't It Cool, and for good reason: it's all about the work. We celebrate film, comics, television... it's no one's business what anyone does in their private lives. Sometimes it's inevitable that those issues will affect that artist's work and career, and when that happens, we'll report it, but frankly, you can get that information at a myriad of other places if you're so inclined. For us here at Ain't It Cool, it's not a valid point of discussion, unless it affects the art.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's personal issues have now caused his work to be put on hold, according to a press release from his talent agency (through MSNBC). According to the statement, "Governor Schwarzenegger is focusing on personal matters and is not willing to commit to any production schedules or timelines. This includes CRY MACHO, the TERMINATOR franchise and other projects under consideration. We will resume discussions when Governor Schwarzenegger decides."
Schwarzenegger's work has been enjoyed by millions over the years, and I hope his personal issues get resolved to the benefit of all involved and he gets back to work doing what he does best - entertaining us with his films.
Nordling, out.
Readers Talkback
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Don't care. He's washed up more than Stallone
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May 19, 2011, 4:50 p.m. CST
At least he waited till he was out of office to blow his life to hell!
by VanGoghX
Gotta respect that, at least. The rest? Not so much. Power corrupts, eh?
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May 19, 2011, 4:53 p.m. CST
Wow...this is really out of nowhere. Wonder what happened.
by Cletus Van Damme
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for a sequel to Junior
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is the greatest load of cobblers. It does nothing to celebrate film and it is bullshit to state otherwise....
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May 19, 2011, 4:55 p.m. CST
Silver Lining: that atrocious "Governator" cartoon is deader than dead.
by WriteForTheEdit
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If anything, Arnie should harden the fuck up and make more movies.
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Hit your marks or hit the road.
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May 19, 2011, 4:57 p.m. CST
I mean, how else is he going to afford all that palimony and child support?
by THE_CHOPPAH
Royalties aren't going to be enough to pull it off if his roid-withered Vienna sausage was as busy as we all suspect it was.
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a good film, really....
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Toimenated.
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who Peter Jackson just cast in The Hobbit
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May 19, 2011, 5:02 p.m. CST
Didn't the "Governator" have a bunch of multi-ethnic kids living in his "lair" or something?
by WriteForTheEdit
More true to life than we thought...
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May 19, 2011, 5:03 p.m. CST
Arnie's last good movie, I'm afraid, is one we're never likely to see.
by THE_CHOPPAH
Unless some enterprising celebrity-journalism bottom-feeder gets his slimy sucker on it, performs a cursory edit, slaps it on Blu ray and titles it "Arnold Schwarzenegger in Mildred: Pierced."
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You know, like the old days, with the static image and moving mouth. Or did NBC steal that, too, when they screwed him over?
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May 19, 2011, 5:03 p.m. CST
He'll be back soon. He needs to get back to work for his own state of mind.
by Mennen
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgiuv1V7VDg His impersonation is hilarious
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Mega-Win. (They didn't REALLY make a video, did they?!?)
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May 19, 2011, 5:07 p.m. CST
Jingle All The Way II: Jingle Harder, also on hold.
by Michael_Jacksons_Ghost
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A CHOPPAH can dream.
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May 19, 2011, 5:09 p.m. CST
it's understandable if you fuck the housekeeper an she is hot..
by sonnyhooper
.........but when she looks like the blonde version of the maid from "family guy", (we want more lemon pledge) then it's a gots to go situation.
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comicsalliance <p> Good news, true believers! Even though former California Governor and legendary action film star Arnold Schwarzenegger recently confessed to fathering a child with his housekeeper and lying to his wife, kids, friends and political aides about it for more than ten years, his scandalous actions will not impact the production and broadcast of Stan Lee's The Governator! The beloved founder of Marvel Comics and creator of many of America's most enduring superheroes, Lee and his collaborators agree there is no need to make any changes to the forthcoming animated series in which a fictionalized version Schwarzenegger assumes a superhero identity that is secret from his wife and family and operates from a hidden chamber beneath their home. Indeed, The Governator now seems more plausible than ever.
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best thing for Arnie is to get back into shape (what he can at his age) and start making 80's style (R rated) action films where he annihilates people. this love child thing and separation from his wife will only seem more badass and work in his favor.
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If only he had kept his alleged motto intact.
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I can totally get why Arnie pierced Mildred. Say what you will about the gal, but she's got some swingin' (and jigglin' ... and floppin' ... ) mams.
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Just imagine...oh wait dont...
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It would be called "Misogynia."
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May 19, 2011, 5:15 p.m. CST
sonnyhooper: that's the really funny thing about infidelity: quite frequently, it has very little to do with...
by WriteForTheEdit
...the physical attractiveness of the third party.
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But wasn't that announcement made prior to Arnold placing everything on hold? It's kind've hard to believe that a show attempting to sell Arnold- as well as his domestic life- to children won't be affected by this scandal.
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Yup. A bunch of home wrecking shitheads.
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May 19, 2011, 5:24 p.m. CST
So since Arnie strangeporked a maid 15 years ago, I don't get to see him kick ass Commando-style in Expendibles 2?
by Doctor_Strangepork
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....like i said, i only could understand the infidelity if it was with someone much hotter than your wife. and even then it's just awful to do. but for fucks sake at least have the decency to drive a couple of miles away to cheat on you wife. don't just walk over to the servants quarters. sweet jesus, thats just beyond lazy.
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then it would have killed his political career before it started and he wouldn't have stopped making movies.
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...still think that could have been his great "Adios, Amigos" performance. *sigh*
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sorry about that...
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HOW AYRH YOU?
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I'd say only Harry does that anymore. Everyone else whines about how nothing is as good as their sweat 80's films they so much enjoy. Harry tends to see the potential in most films and therefor gets excited over them. Others on here will find any excuse possible to dismiss it. Heck, you guys even bash Harry when they like something.
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I don't.
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It's because of the way they look.
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Hill let Bill get sucked off by that pig, she stuck with him and then she got a front row seat to watch the Bin Laden reality show conclusion. If Maria had just shrugged it off she probably could have gotten her own series on OWN and Oprah would be her BFF. Oh..and Patrick "Shriver" can fuck off. No one cares about your name change. Take your toy back to the carpet.
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fuck yeah. then i guess that makes the maid Beastman or maybe Cringer.
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Big and empty. We've evolved.
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No one cares who you have screwed! just in case you missed it your a hollywood star who just impersonated a politician. infidelity is expected from Stars, no one really cares. Just dont insult Hollywood community and your fine.
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Does anyone really give a shit about celebrities personal lives? We want to see them as characters on screen. Man up you bunch of soft bastards.
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May 19, 2011, 5:48 p.m. CST
The maid Arnold was fucking looks like the type of woman a viking would fuck
by Bobo_Vision
And his love child son looks like the true heir of a barbarian...growing up in modest means outside of the limelight while his spawn made with Maria Shriver seem like wimpy girlie men. <p> Arnold has some major balls to enter the political world after fathering a child with the maid. Those are some king sized balls. And he kept the lid on it until the end of his run. Hollywood is more forgiving than Washington.
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and commando. as well as twins in the cinema....plus the last action hero. and terminator and terminator 2 in the cinema plus total recall and running man.
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May 19, 2011, 5:49 p.m. CST
"liege": I do believe you mean to say, "Harden the fuck up."
by THE_CHOPPAH
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May 19, 2011, 5:51 p.m. CST
Emeraldboy is a fuckmonkey. He always posts shit.
by SierraTangoFoxtrotUniform
Also, if "it's no one's business what anyone does in their private lives," why do we have to listen to Harry ramble on about his name-dropping and pwesents before we get to his inane, bought-out review?
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I mean, their entire lives are built around people idolizing them and they're typically good looking. Not to mention, they're always on the road in different cities around the world, have access to the most beautiful of admirers, and attend lavish parties.... ...But WTF was he thinking w/ that maid?!? One of ugliest people I've ever seen! If he was going to cheat, why wasn't it with the countless perfect 10's he could have easily had? Why pork the fat, man-looking troll? AND to not wear a rubber nor endorse her to have an abortion afterwards? God awful decision-making Arnold.
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...since I love Repulsion, Rosemary's Baby, Chinatown, and The Pianist.
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May 19, 2011, 5:56 p.m. CST
In the old days, a man like Arnold would have been expected to sire as many children as possible...
by THE_CHOPPAH
as an act of public fucking service.
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"God awful decision-making" Remember: He was also the governor of the largest state (population-wise) in the U.S. Doesn't instill much confidence, huh?
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Adrien Brody usually looks like a concentration camp resident anyway. He really phoned it in on that film.
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May 19, 2011, 5:59 p.m. CST
What was he supposed to do, sit around becoming "king by his own hand" into a lovesock?
by THE_CHOPPAH
I think not.
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You can't gauge these situations on the lamentation of the women. All they fucking do is lament. Fuck em.
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Arnold needs a Cameron like revival here!
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jackhammering his throbbing ponytail into Neytiri while Jake Sully tugs one off under that neon tree or whatever the hell that was.
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COME ON, Arnold! I thought you would be bred only with the FINEST STOCK. Crom laughs at you. He laughs from his mountain.
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Lang. He would be a great military heavy. I am actually serious about this one.
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May 19, 2011, 6:12 p.m. CST
Kermit, I'd think you of all people would understand how tenacious those Miss Piggies can be.
by THE_CHOPPAH
Besides, she obviously proved a fine and strong vessel for his seed.
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he could be the lead of a Spec Ops assassination squad sent back with their own avatars for infiltration/fuck-shit-upitude. Can you see a hulking Ahnuld avatar?
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I think he should be called The Sperminator now ;)
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You make valid points. I can't believe, after all the time I've spent around here, I just told Choppah he's made a valid point. Signs and muddafokkin' wonders.
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I still rank Arnie signing onto The Last Action Hero as his most ill-advised.
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Having seen both END OF DAYS and THE SIXTH DAY......LAST ACTION HERO is at least a bit more of a polished turd.
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♫♪ A-B-C-D-E-F-COOKIE MONSTER!
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It's amazing, >amazing<, if, as it now increasingly seems, that he tried to get these projects into gear before his scandals hit. He must have been living for years with these enormous tabloid stories over his head, smiling and waving and saying moronic, cheesy soundbites, and getting away with it all in his public and personal life, that he thought he could get away with it in his professional life, too. Somebody should make a film of that. Arnold in a Breaking Bad-style free fall as his life spins out of control and he's attempting to sign million dollar movie deals. I bet there are some super pissed people on the other side of those development contracts in Hollywood right now. At least we have an explanation why the 'toon is so awful; he didn't care about quality, it was just an imperative to get that terribly drawn, ridiculously realized locomotive from an 80's Austrian cocaine nightmare steaming down the track passed Turdsville and into his wallet. Oh, Arnie... you so crazy.
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TWO bastards.....ah-ha-ha! THREE bastards.....ah-ha-haaaa!
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May 19, 2011, 6:34 p.m. CST
I'd rather fondly remember the pre-Governer Schwarzenegger than suffer through the shadow of what he's become.
by Playkins
Its over, Arnie. Enjoy your money and patch up your relationship with your kids. We don't need any more of your movies.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AXPnH0C9UA
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Choppah....that was some funny, funny, gut-busting stuff. Thanks.
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Ok I grok the conceit (poetical device of repetition) of reporting good reviews and not so much bad reviews of movies relevant to us geeks and not doing celebrity gossip. I do. But to fail to mention kinda obvious Polanski Ghost Writer scenarios that explain whats happened here... well... y'know... I can't help but suddenly wonder aloud if the aicn gag order isn't at least motivated by keeping the info line open. Like... if people really used much gossip about Marcia Lucas who did 7 really great films and then donated the biggest building to the USC film school... then... it'd kinda obviously have blocked the flow of information after the 20 years of paying half were over and you guys needed the info line open for the prequels. I don't mean to suggest that aicn has to report gossip dirt, but... I think the policy could come down off the high horse too.
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That idea was D.O.A. The only thing more embarrassing than Arnold cheating on Maria with that fat and ugly old maid was that ridiculous ‘THE GOVERNATOR' collaboration with Stan Lee. How could he think either of those ideas were good ones is beyond me.
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hasta la vista, dickwad.
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then please God, get Herc to stop posting TV ratings. I hate that crap.
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Kudos Arnold. Never a man to be overshadowed by LiLos and CokeySheen, king Arnold needed a way out of these less than worthy projects without looking like a prima Donna girlyman. Arnold has been using California's energy to invent and perfect time travel. Each rolling blackout was the result of time traveling booty calls. Sensing these films would suck, Arnold traveled back in time and fucked the first thing he saw so the execs would back off. Arnold--you time traveling maid fucking genius!
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Arnold no come on now GOD NO PLEASE DON'T PUT "CRY MACHO" ON HOLD FUCK NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?! GOD FUCK WHY TODAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!! AND NOT COMING BACK AS A MUMMY FOR THE TERMINATOR FRANCHISE?!?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T LET THEM GET YOU DOWN ARNOLD FUCK MAN YOU'VE GOT SO MANY PROJECTS WE'RE ALL ON THE EDGE OF OUR SEATS FOR ARNOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO THE FANS ARNOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 19, 2011, 7:05 p.m. CST
DO MEN DRESSED AS BEARS KEEP STEALING YOUR HOMEWORK?
by Spielbergs Furious Racism
CALL BEARSAWAY: 3154512904
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Did someone really say that was his motto? Because it makes sense of a story I heard (yeah, I know I have a lot of stories about Hollywood stuff, but living and working around there for decades does shit like that.) Anyway, my ex-wife's best friend had a girlfriend who was a masseuse. She went to give Arnold a massage at his house while Maria was away. One thing led to another, and they started fucking. She said he was so big he was tearing her up, and she had to make him stop. She apologized, and he said "that's no problem" and went down on her. And she said it was the best head she'd ever had in her life. I don't know if the story is true, but I believe my wife's friend believed it was.
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It was reported Maria Shriver was leaving Arnie and she was waiting until after his governmental term was up before she packed her bags. Which makes one ask: How long had she known? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? My guess is, not long. Just several days ago Arnold's people were announcing his next film. Why would he do something like that knowing the lid on his personal life was about to blow? Just my thoughts.
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May 19, 2011, 7:10 p.m. CST
"We dont do celebrity gossip... Unless it's about Lars Von Trier."
by D.Vader
Come on Nordling, you had to see the irony here.
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May 19, 2011, 7:10 p.m. CST
hipshot...was your ex-wife's best friend's girlfriend hot?
by Bobo_Vision
And was she black? Because if Arnold was so big that he was tearing up some black pussy....that must have been really good for his ego.
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Maria may have known a long time ago....but now she saw that this information was about to become public, so she decided to leave because she had to save her image, because she's a champion of strong women, and if she were to stay with Arnie after this became public, her career would not survive, and she would be shamed in public. <p> I think she may have known Arnold was cheating on her and it was an arrangement, and she was okay as long as she was his main squeeze and that he did all he could not to publicly shame her.
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Arnie's maid just saved us all from the apocalypse of cinema that would have been Justin Lin's Terminator 5.
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The Inseminator.
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dont make any more films.no one wants to see your saggy face on screen.have some self respect ,surely youve made your mark?(and your money)go
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May 19, 2011, 7:19 p.m. CST
Honestly, is it really a big deal? It's not like he raped a girl or murdered someone.
by Mr Nicholas
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I was actually going to mention that (I hate to say "argument") as well and the more I think about it, the more I agree. I wish her the best. Maria has always been a very strong individual and I commended her for stepping down as news anchor during Arnold's election campaign. I guess the media eats it up and the victims choke it down.
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But its clear when we (men) have one thing on our mind thinking completely stops, she is not young, she is not attractive, she works for them. Feel sad for his kids and wife, Arnie is pathetic, the guy is rich and he resorted for something that was easily available rather than something that is at least hot or something that would be distanced from his family (i.e. a hooker) Though the same could be said for Bill Clinton, maybe we (humans) shouldnt be married or it should just represent a friendship, like a business partnership, not an exclusive relationship
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May 19, 2011, 7:23 p.m. CST
How Arnie SHOULD Have Ended His Marriage:
by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqUz8DQLhgs
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The best thing for him to do is get back to work asap.
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now we gotta wait longer for geriatric Terminator?
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This happened during the filming of Batman & Robin at the same time Bill Clinton was involved with Monica. The kid was already 5 years old when Terminator 3 came out. Other than his family recently learning that the last 14 years were a lie, and the state of California learning the man who was twice elected governor kept an embarrassing secret throughout his entire political career, this is old news!
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May 19, 2011, 7:28 p.m. CST
"At least he waited till he was out of office to blow his life to hell!"
by sai_justin
Actually, he probably just kept everything under wraps while he was in office. Crafty gov't...
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In DVD sales of T2. These projects will continue as scheduled. Arnold works when he damn well pleases.
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I LIED...
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Er ... say, isn't reporting on Hollywood "gossip" what pretty much put this site on the map? What's really the difference between a leaked script, an illegally-taken set picture and pontificating on why the Governor of California elected not to wear a condom while nailing his housekeeper and subsequently chose to hide it from both his family and the voters of the fine state of California? Let's not start taking the high road, here, because if you were really sticking to your guns, you wouldn't have posted this in the first place.</p><p> Back on topic, though:you can't seriously be telling me you were eagerly awaiting Schwartzenegger in another TERMINATOR movie, were you?!? I mean, the action movie days are over (and they looked pretty over back on T:3, unless robots get wrinkles and receding hairlines) and, let's face it, nobody was ever watching these things to listen to his half-garbled "Heah's Sub-Zerah, nah, PLAIN Zerah!" every time he fake-broke a dude's neck. And this "action comedy" jazz sounds about as fresh as Danny DeVito's pit-stained wife beater.
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Who cares if she is hot or not. He was horny and she was there in the house and he fucked her. You guys are lacking in testosterone if you don't understand.
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Wrong. Some of us just don't fuck everything theist hoofs into our path. It's called restraint. It's called not settling. Please stop breeding
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haha
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Unlike Dick Cheney, I don't shoot caged quail.
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May 19, 2011, 7:45 p.m. CST
Arnie was a Repulican...Of course he was a closet hypocrite...
by RobertoInfinite
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May 19, 2011, 7:46 p.m. CST
...but I have been known to shoot a friend in the face with a load from time to time.
by THE_CHOPPAH
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May 19, 2011, 7:46 p.m. CST
Mel Gibson is a racist..Arnold is a philanderer...What's next, Bruce Willis is a pedophile?
by RobertoInfinite
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How is this celebrity gossip? This is pure film news deemed as worthy of reporting as del toro's film getting shelved or dark tower getting put into turnaround. You hookers are like maria shriver--never satisfied. Had Nordling not mentioned anything about a newly returned action icons films getting delayed you all would bitched to your mammies! I got yer back nordling.
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He obviously wasn't in his right mind during that time. He should claim insanity.
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I assume plans for his various film projects were in the works long before Maria found out. The real question to ask is what prompted him to finally reveal all of this- since he obviously didn't start 2011 with any plans to do so. This also explains why he originally declined to run for governor in 2002, and only did so when a recall election presented itself. The latter kept Arnold from being subjected to a lengthy vetting process or having to endure an extensive campaign.
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I wonder why he confessed? Had the tabloids found out already? And how did he keep the cuckolded ex-husband quiet?
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Arnolds been fucking around for a very long time. There's been stories of his infidelities in all kinds of journos, tabloid and otherwise. They only went public because his term as governor is over. I couldn't give two cents what goes on in "entertainment peoples" private lives, but don't make out that it doesn't count. When a director rapes an under age girl or when a director tells you he is a nazi. Well those kinds of things affect peoples decisions on whether they will view that persons "art". Arnie's infidelity is nothing more than a private matter. He's not an actor I care that much about and those Terminator films have been sucking of late.
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May 19, 2011, 7:59 p.m. CST
He didn't really come out and admit it, someone did some snooping and found out about it. apparently it was the same news org. that dug up the stories aboiut Arnie groping women and such.
by RobertoInfinite
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May 19, 2011, 8:06 p.m. CST
Ahh dohnt noh vut duh bihg deel izz. Iz jush a lil poohsee on da
by UltraTron
siide dere. Ihn Haustreeah vee hav duh sayink. Hee hoow getz duh poohsee iz duh vinnuh dere. Vich ah tink happliize in dish caze
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...is if you can't get any good looking chicks to fuck you. if the guy who played john matrix, and was the govonor of the biggest state in the union can't pull a hotter chick than that to nail, then thats just fucking sad. <P> hell, mickey rourke is no doubt fucking hotter chicks than that and that dudes face looks like 7 miles of bad road. arnold has no excuse
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May 19, 2011, 8:11 p.m. CST
Arnie, you are the one person on Earth who can blow this shit off successfully.
by Stuntcock Mike
Come out swinging, admit everything. Take a few months off to work out, then show up on Good Morning America BUCK NAKED, slap your fucking dick on the anchor's desk and yell "YEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH....EEEF EET MOVES, I WILL FUCK IT!!!"
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Rick Perry may think twice about running for President. Because while the nation is given an impression of a follicly-blessed cowboy who stands up to Obama's socialist agenda, any gay man in Austin knows our Governor likes invading male anuses as much as he does violating the rights of a woman's right to choose with needless sonograms.
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An honorable man! Chop salutes you.
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The thing that separates you from most of your peers, is that you are an Old-School Man. Milk, and crying are for babies, and all that. Well when an Old-School Man gets caught cheating, he doesn't apologize to anyone but his wife and kids, he doesn't quit his job to 'put his personal affairs in order', because there's nothing to put in order beyond your wife being pissed at you because you were caught. We understand, man. If I had to climb in bed every night with the frigid, animatronic skeleton of Courtney Cox, I'd probably bag a sloppy old cleaning lady too. I mean, Courtney Cox is ALREADY a skeleton. So to say someone is Courtney Cox's skeleton is pretty effed up. I'm sure she's a nice lady, but she looks like the kind of wife that acts like your mom and thinks foreplay is confronting you about all the things you should have done earlier in the day. Be a man. Apologize to no one. Honor your work commitments. And get those flabby tits into shape, I don't want to see a CGI body walking around the next Terminator film.
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Inquiring minds want to know!
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I laughed.
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"Wrong"
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That's cool brah. Just make a talkback and we'll do it for ya.
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Forgot how good those clips were.
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May 19, 2011, 8:28 p.m. CST
But did you see the fugly thing he fucked? I mean, yeah Maria's face looks like a pork chop shirt mauled by a hungry bear but did you see the basset hound he fucked?
by Dirk_The_Amoeba
I have no respect for ahnuld now. None. Zip. Zilch. Zero. If he had banged a supermodel - then yeah I would be like 'go 'head buoy!' But, fuck that
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...it pushed the killing of Osama Bin Laden and Dominic Strauss-Kahn (you think the maid yelled "Kaaaaaaahn!" as he sodomized her?) off the front pages of the New York City tabloids.
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May 19, 2011, 8:35 p.m. CST
Dirk, have you ever experienced a truly vigorous and enthusiastic plain girl?
by THE_CHOPPAH
I'll take one over a lazy model any day. More than once a day, in fact.
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Sometimes that's just what a man needs.
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Oh sweet irony!
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May 19, 2011, 8:40 p.m. CST
Choppah, I am an Amoeba. I have fucked hairballs and dustballs. Popcorn kernels, and Uzbek supermodels. I have been chased around the caucasus by a loved starved yak. But I would never put my pseudopod in what Ahnuld did
by Dirk_The_Amoeba
Just destroyed my image man. Just destroyed it. I really can't talk about this anymore. Just sad.
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Woody Allen called and wants him in his next flick. It's set in tijiuana and woody needs to update his game.
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May 19, 2011, 8:44 p.m. CST
BTW - some people think an Uzbek supermodel IS a yak, but they aint
by Dirk_The_Amoeba
You should see the thighs on that thing - the yak I mean. Whoo buoy! Even a paramecium would stand up and take notice - of the yak that is
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She kept screaming that as she chased me down
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Jack Slater IV wins
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We may see this pillow fluffing incident differently, but there is strength in your answer.
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"Pink taco."
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May 19, 2011, 8:50 p.m. CST
sonnyhooper It's like Dave Chappelle said - A Busy man will cheat with what's available...
by RobertoInfinite
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May 19, 2011, 8:51 p.m. CST
Choppah, duded must have been drunk. Nah. Drugged. Had to be. I have had a couple of centiliters of the ol kidney killer in me, but I would never be THAT drunk to do what he did
by Dirk_The_Amoeba
Must have been drugs.
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take a hint people, marriage does not work, and the man gets fucked in the divorce
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if she's uglier than you" rule.
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May 19, 2011, 8:55 p.m. CST
Jane Seymour - who made the top ten all time Amoeba list in her Bond girl days, but wh now is starting to look a bit like a British Tranny -sad, thinks Armies has more ol dirty bastards running around
by Dirk_The_Amoeba
That is direct from TMZ and they never lie
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May 19, 2011, 8:58 p.m. CST
Even out of office Ahnold continues to embarass California
by GimpInMyPants
And it's all the fault of the idiots who voted for him. Fuck you. You thought it would be fun to have an actor in position of real power. Congratulations, dumbshits, the deficit is even higher than when Grey Davis was in office and Ahnold cut spending for the people that need it the most. Fuck you, you fucking short-sighted pieces of shit.
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Maria might have excused a cute vixen but never a goat kissing camel
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May 19, 2011, 9:02 p.m. CST
My current wife doesn't mind if I have sex with Asian women on the side...
by THE_CHOPPAH
because they "have no souls" and it doesn't really count. I have no idea what she means, but I'm running with it.
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May 19, 2011, 9:03 p.m. CST
do you have any fucking clue how much pussy is thrown your way when you become a mega celebrity???
by Billy_D_Williams
im surprised he doesn't have a hundred bastard children running around...no man can resist that kind of non stop opportunity. why these fuck heads bother getting married is beyond me...they lose half their fortune in the divorce.
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May 19, 2011, 9:06 p.m. CST
Hypocrites. Arnold's personal life isn't our business, but Mel Gibson's is?
by IronEagle74
So Arnold gets to set his own schedule, but Mel just gets black balled? Oh, that's right, Arnold didn't make an anti-semitic comment yet. Until he does, he can go rape an underage girl and he'll still get work in Hollywood.
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May 19, 2011, 9:07 p.m. CST
The Schwarzenegger/Shriver marriage was a genetic experiment aimed at...
by THE_CHOPPAH
producing pullet-proof Kennedys.
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He needs to throw all caution to the wind and strike while the iron's hot, I say. Make some money a la Charlie Sheen. Who's to say what happens down the road, he needs to make his $$$ while the public is interested. He's got alimony and an ass-load of kids to put through college.
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I think we found his next movie.
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Arnold just cheated on his wife. He let her and his kids down. Mel Gibson beat his gf and went off on hate filled rants both anti semetic and racist. There's a difference.
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....a woman who looks like manny pacquiao in a blonde wig looks like a good option to me, i'll just kill myself.
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May 19, 2011, 9:22 p.m. CST
"We don't do celebrity gossip at Ain't It Cool" No - we just stick to MOVIE GOSSIP that almost always turns out UNTRUE
by Professor_Monster
It's all about the work - You guys should be ashamed of yourself for even typing that
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May 19, 2011, 9:34 p.m. CST
"Arnold just cheated on his wife. He let her and his kids down. Mel Gibson beat his gf and went off on hate filled rants both anti semetic and racist. There's a difference."
by Billy_D_Williams
there's a difference only in the events, but they're both things that happened between two people, which the business of the law and the courts, not celeb obsessed gossip hounds...
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Because men are genetically programmed to be attracted to women who look after them and their children. It's in our genes. That's why it's not surprising when a guy fucks the woman who is cooking and cleaning for him and looking after his kids instead of the woman who is an anorexic socialite who spends her time at fundraisers, doing photo shoots, and giving interviews with Oprah. <p> It's the same reason guys can't help ogle the cute waitress bringing him his food, instead of his wife/girlfriend who is shoveling food into her mouth. <p> Pay attention, boys. I'm dropping science.
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What i was saying was that Arnold wasn't Doing anything malicious. Mel on the other hand is a drunk who was saying hateful things. Hate speech of any kind should not be tolerated. Had he said it in the comfort of his own home and not directed at anyone, I wouldn't care.
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May 19, 2011, 9:48 p.m. CST
MAYBE THAT'S WHY I WANNA FUCK THE DUDE WHO MAKES MY CHICKEN WRAP AT THE CAFE
by BSB
I was thinking I was gay, but that makes more sense.
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You should know by now that choppah doesn't need to prove he's the real McCoy.
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His vibe checks out.
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Used by him to have the chauffeur start the limo while running out of the house after telling Maria about his infidelities; what he says during sex; the phrase used by an underling to Arnie when he visited the kid at the maids house and someone was coming.
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May 19, 2011, 9:52 p.m. CST
Arnie Pickup Lines: "Come on me if you want to live."
by Christopher Bynum
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"Live with me if you want to come"
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or raped him, if Maria will believe that story.
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He was probably drunk, and she was probably rubbing on his dick. That's all it takes, folks.
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May 19, 2011, 9:56 p.m. CST
And the chicks that didn't get pregnant could have been the hot ones
by deelzbub
We can only hope, for his sake.
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I thought he'd finished with that...?
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May 19, 2011, 10 p.m. CST
Even if a man and woman are married and earn the same income....
by Bobo_Vision
....the man will always be the protector of the woman in the most primitive and physical sense....and that will always be expected of him when danger arises....so the woman better be nurturing the man with lots of cooking and cleaning. Because if she's already popped out a few kids and is no longer scrumptious to look at, she better be doing the dishes or else she's outlived her usefulness.
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...in the words of Thomas Haden Church in Sideways "she looks like the grateful type...two tons of fun."
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http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/total-recall/5.gif
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You freaks who practically wet yourselves daydreaming this fat old closet Nazi's gonna make any more movies are genuinely creepy.
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May 19, 2011, 10:07 p.m. CST
Have you guys imagined what it would look like when Arnold rammed her after seeing her photos....
by Bobo_Vision
....his large muscular body guiding her fat, dumpy body...then entering her causing her mouth to open wide and gasp for air and her eyes to light up while she says, "Oyyyeeeeee Papi!!!" and then Arnold starts pounding her vag, while she says "ooohhhh wee! ooooh weee! ooooh wee!" His muscular frame on top of her blob of a body, looking like a Greek God fucking Slimer...only in this case, he slimes her....
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You are a reprehensible human being. That said, that was kind of funny. Both my ex-wife and her friend were white. I'm assuming that the friend was white as well, on the basis that it would have been mentioned. I never met her. So he was tearing up white pussy. Extensive experience indicates that white pussy is no tighter than black, however. I'm sure inquiring minds want to know.
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That's my science.
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The nuclear disaster that is ongoing in Japan? Is that over with?
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He must father Kull and many bastard warriors.
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May 19, 2011, 10:14 p.m. CST
IF I WAS WORKING ALONGSIDE A CERTAIN FEMALE PLASMA PHYSICIST AT STANFORD U.
by BSB
I'd find it extremely difficult to keep my temperature probe in check. Nuff said.
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May 19, 2011, 10:15 p.m. CST
Crom will ask you the riddle of steel. And if you don't know he will laugh at you.
by UltraTron
And cast you out of Valhalla.
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to hear da lamentashun uv da maid dere az ahii plow her in da azz dere.
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A once super hot Latina who decided to say fuck it and eat breakfast tacos all day long for two decades...and give Shriver a break. The only woman I have seen remotely fuckable after ejecting four kids is Kelly Willis...and I'm being generous because I own her first 5 cds.
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May 19, 2011, 10:21 p.m. CST
the maid ain't so badhttp://3.bp.blogspot.com/-riSmLjy-yH4/TdPqt6FSesI/AAAAAAAAADY/ZiMwDAf3T04/s320/arnold2.jpg
by SantosLHalper
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May 19, 2011, 10:21 p.m. CST
the maid ain't so badhttp://3.bp.blogspot.com/-riSmLjy-yH4/TdPqt6FSesI/AAAAAAAAADY/ZiMwDAf3T04/s320/arnold2.jpg
by SantosLHalper
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Yeah, it's all about the movies, right? No gossip to be found here! Translation: Don't talk shit about some fat old bodybuilder/"actor" or you'll hurt our fanboy feelin's.
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May 19, 2011, 10:33 p.m. CST
She is not great looking - aand Halfbreedqueen, the judgemental side of this talkback comes as a byproduct of Hollywood's obsession with looks. Take it up with them...
by RobertoInfinite
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May 19, 2011, 10:34 p.m. CST
These actors/actresses are all in movies, leading men with impossibly beautiful women. It sets a standard in our mind that is unrealistic in most cases...
by RobertoInfinite
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Having said that...
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May 19, 2011, 10:41 p.m. CST
"Cannes bans Von Trier" IS movie news...Jesus Christ the fucking self-righteous nitpicking that goes on in these talkbacks...
by RobertoInfinite
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"As for the movies you mentioned before like Chinatown (what the fuck is that) and Rosemary's baby...uh yeah. I've gotten more entertainment out of Killer Clowns From Outer Space than those 2 fucking film school abortions."<p> Seriously?<p> Could you possibly be any more ignorant about film?<p> If you're trying to be witty, save it, you're not<p> No matter what one thinks about Polanski's morals ( Or lack thereof ) to make asinine statements like the one above just makes one look a massive tool<p>
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May 19, 2011, 10:46 p.m. CST
This is why George Costanza always wanted to fuck a chambermaid
by Bobo_Vision
And why he fucked a secretary on his desk. She wasn't much to look at, either. Fortunately he didn't get her pregnant, but that bitch still cost him his job.
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May 19, 2011, 11:02 p.m. CST
"doing what he does best - entertaining us with his films."
by onezeroone
Ha ha ha ha ha.... funny guy, this nordling is. When was the last time he was in a movie that entertained us?
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May 19, 2011, 11:06 p.m. CST
It isn't Arnolds fault...his father set him up to have a wandering cock
by conspiracy
Just look at this passage from his early life... (Arnolds Father) "Money and Fame come from the Hollywood, from the gods of the Hollywood. But Cock is your god, Cock and he lives in your pants. The secret of Pussy has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Arnold. You must learn its discipline. For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts....(pointing at young Arnolds pants) That you can trust."
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*barf* did you guys see the pics of the woman that Arnie knocked up 10 years ago? Oh my god! I hope Arnie had a paper bag over her head when he was fucking her.
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Look I just know there's a way you can work this out Arnold please don't fucking do this man god DON'T DEPRIVE US OF "CRY MACHO" FUCK MAN god Arnold please THINK THIS THROUGH. "CRY MACHO", man you can NOT fucking do this Arnold I gave it some thought and man you just can NOT FUCKING DO THIS, DO NOT PUT YOUR PROJECTS ON HOLD!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God Arnold "CRY MACHO" FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP FUCKING AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "CRY MACHO"!!!!!!!!!!!! cry macho....... oh and then it gets EVEN BETTER THANKS ARNOLD now we're going to miss our chance to see you bloat your way through another Terminator movie? Really? Really. THIS is how you reward your lifelong fans, ARNOLD?!?! OH YEAH EVERYBODY IS REALLY FUCKING SHOCKED OMG ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER IS A FUCKING SLEAZEBALL AROUND THE LADIES?!?! WAKE THE FUCK UP ARNOLD AND STOP FUCKING AROUND, THIS IS REAL FUCKING LIFE OK DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITED WE ARE FOR "CRY MACHO"?!?!?!? God Arnold shit and then fuck, TERMINATOR TOO? I mean FUCK, man.. yeah sure maybe you looked a little awkward in T3, yeah I know it can be hard to get back into a character after so long.. and people find Terminators that walk like old men with saggy boobs really scary, it harkens back to the T-1000. DON'T DO THIS ARNOLD PLEASE
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I don't get it....when your choices are Skeletor or a Guatamalan Oprah...I think that private jet of mine would be making trips to St. Petersburg weekly to take some teen girls shopping... http://tinyurl.com/m69rj8
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AICN's variation of Godwin's law.
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Yet AICN find celebrity gossip disgusting. A bit hypocritical there?
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No doubt about it, he'll do another one, and see to it that he gets a fat pay cheque for it too. We'll just have to wait a bit longer, is all..
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May 19, 2011, 11:26 p.m. CST
"What i was saying was that Arnold wasn't Doing anything malicious. Mel on the other hand is a drunk who was saying hateful things. Hate speech of any kind should not be tolerated. Had he said it in the comfort of his own home and not directed at anyone,
by Billy_D_Williams
are you kidding? go to any bar on a friday night and you'll see/experience much worse... what Mel did is between Mel, the woman and the fucking judge, i dont give a shit what these celebs do in their private time, its none of my business... and if i knew about what every movie actor did off set, i'd probably stop watching movies altogether, so i just dont care
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May 19, 2011, 11:29 p.m. CST
why is everyone assuming this is the only woman arnold has banged???
by Billy_D_Williams
she's simply the one he got caught with...nobody's perfect, im sure his regular cheats are probably with hot assistants or something
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"Oh S#!+, I Fucked My Hispanic Housekeeper and Now She's Pregnant, What Do I Do?"
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http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTh1uhnNkXkJeIAFLVz4IYsEZcusUVZIhJmQjktWSmSIXy3eNdyYg
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thank you...tired of people beating that dead horse, he's deader than fucking fried chicken
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And that cartoon of his is dead in the water. It was probably going to flop anyways; might as well cancel it now.
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May 20, 2011, 12:26 a.m. CST
Conan takes women and sires bastards at will!!! All hail Conan!
by Onin Solstice
Seriously. I'm just glad the Terminator still has some left in the tank. Go Arnie!
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Now she looks like J-No.
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You're welcome you whiny little cunt.
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He should have kept his gob shut, now he gets his trolleys pulled down in court to the tune of more zeroes than there are in the combined World debt. The gossip shysters will be masturbating furiously into our bored faces for the next seventy gazillion millennia about something that effects me about as much as the pile of Horse shit thoughtfully deposited outside my house (that some little fuckers stuck a broken bottle in !?!?!? that i had to brush up). So to sum up, no Expendables 2 extended cameo, less possibility via the law of averages of one more decent Arnie movie and i had to brush up shit with broken glass in it.
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Terminator is just not the same without Arnold! I just can't get into the movie. I'm sure others feel the same after Bale. Shit! The chemistry and magic just isn't there.
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I wrote my funniest stuff already on Huffington Post.
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No matter how old I get I'll never get used to You immature a-holes thinking one of these movie "star" /idols owes you/us anything! The mans personal life blew up, give him a break fir fucks sake!!
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We´ll be seeing him as a Uber-Na´vi in Avatar 3.
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Have you lameass people NOT seen Chinatown? 50 bucks says that you're the kind of people who'll eat up any shit that Hollywood throws at you. Go suck Micheal Bay's cock.
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May 20, 2011, 3:27 a.m. CST
if i had arnold's fame, i'd be smashing this kind of tail every chance i got:
by Billy_D_Williams
http://www.lotustalk.com/forums/attachments/f68/111256d1234205439-pic-day-3-some-may-slightly-nsfw-football_girls_team2_widescreen.jpg
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This is as close as we can get to a child finding out his dad is a Superhero. If I was a producer I would start grooming the kid to be an action star. Best "origin story" ever.
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who gives a flaming shit about this
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And what an absolute gomper he porked behind his missus's back. He's past his sell-by now imo and deluding himself if he thinks he can claw back his film career in his 60s (with or without the hindrance of this scandal) he simply doesn't have the acting ability (beyond his physical presence and personna there's nishta!) or the likeability and talent of Sly et al.
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with the exception of the conan movies . I have seen Terminator and t2, commando, predator, twins, kindergarten cop, last action hero and True Lies and eraser, total recall. Arnie was the undisputed king of the 1980's action movie and unlike alot of girly men actors did his own stunts which was a ballsy thing to do. But arnie's movies of that period have not dated well at all. and his career dried up in the late 1990s. and that is when he should have retired instead he kept going and looked leathery in the face in t3. despite keeping the body. Arnie was very witty in his action movies. He could have been a great comedian. In one of last movies before going into politics junior he gave comedy a try. he even tried farce with with batman and robin. which was a farcial movie. his last movie post politics was around the world in 80 days with steve coogan. and that movie was an embarrasment. Arnie should maybe consider doing small cameo work and then retire completely. or maybe matters have been taken out of his hands. somewhat. way to blow your comeback. arnie...
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I remember watching End of Days in theatres and thinking "Okay Arnold, it's over."
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*Very* early in life it occurred to me that almost ALL men cheat on their wives. At least, almost all powerful, driven men. You don't become a powerful man without a very piggish attitude. There's always someone more grabby or assertive (essentially: selfish) who will edge you out. So if you're the guy with the prestige/power, you're probably the guy with the strongest ego drive and the corresponding reproductive drive that comes with it (chicken and the egg here).
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After all, Maria Shriver's face looks like a foot. On a totally unrelated note, i just started getting checks from someone in California.
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May 20, 2011, 7:18 a.m. CST
I guess his future projects will include porn (The Sperminator)
by Stalkeye
Anyways, no suprise from the "High and mighty" RepubliCons.
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..fucking Nyyyyyrrrgggggghhh! Fugly bitch, If you're gonna knock up a housemaid, at least she should rival the looks of a say, Kim Kardasian or Jolie. WTF Arnie, you really caught a grenade for love.
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"Who cares if she is hot or not. He was horny and she was there in the house and he fucked her. You guys are lacking in testosterone if you don't understand." AND "Because men are genetically programmed to be attracted to women who look after them and their children. It's in our genes. That's why it's not surprising when a guy fucks the woman who is cooking and cleaning for him and looking after his kids instead of the woman who is an anorexic socialite who spends her time at fundraisers, doing photo shoots, and giving interviews with Oprah. It's the same reason guys can't help ogle the cute waitress bringing him his food, instead of his wife/girlfriend who is shoveling food into her mouth. " That shit is downright exact. You should both receive the Medal of Fucking Common Sense! When a man cheats, the answers are right there in plain sight........ but shockingly, many people just don't get it. Maria Shriver always came off as a cold fish to me. It wasn't always the case I'm sure, otherwise Arnie wouldn't have married her. BUT... let's imagine that, over time, Maria became more and more frigid (as many husbands here will attest to). Arnold probably wanted to get close to someone because Maria was never there for him... probably never wanted to get "freaky" either... so what does he do? He goes to the closest source of comfort: THE NANNY. And the nanny probably did things in the bedroom that Maria never even HEARD of. If you can't at least consider what I am saying here to be a possibility, then you're just clueless. I know it takes two to ruin a marriage, and yes, Arnold should be held accountable, but I think Maria is also culpable.
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I would not be able to resist fucking a woman who called me 'Meeester'.
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To blow up his career? No, he didn't. MARIA waited until he was out of office before she filed. She'd been unhappy for a long time. Apparently, he harped on her about every ounce of extra weight, which is why she's so thin. Like a good little Kennedy, she "stood by her man" as long as it was a matter of public good (California was in enough trouble without having a Governor going through a scandal). But after he was out? She fucked him. All he had left was a huge amount of public affection. That's what a "star" is, as opposed to an "actor"--someone people like, and admire, or lust after enough to actually go out of your way to see them in movies. Their audience follows them around. Mel Gibson blew up his "nice guy" image by a bigoted rant. Meg Ryan blew up her "good girl" image by tramping around with Russell Crowe. And Arnold blew up his "family man" image by having a love child and not raising it responsibly, as well as destroying his family's trust. He failed as a Governor. He no longer has the Oh-my-God physique. And now his invulnerable public image has been shattered. Stick a fork in this guy--he's done.
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OMFG — ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (infinity) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Yes, but the kid actually looks like him. So it was probably more that the kid thought to himself. ‘Where did I get this chin from? And why do I feel the urge to build muscle and smoke cigars? Wait a minute, wasn’t mom……
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'My reasons for cheating, I don't know what to say, maybe it's nature having its way.' Fair enough, but it still sucks for Maria and the kids.
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May 20, 2011, 8:43 a.m. CST
He smoked cigars in a lot of his movies. I always thought it was to make the characters seem more manly...
by Cletus Van Damme
...now I think he just had a huge stockpile of "congratulations" cigars.
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I work for free.
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Seriously, I'd rather choke on Chris Hemsworth's meat than be in the vicinity of naked Skeletor.
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There's a clip with an old latina that I imagine is what Arnold and Mildew fucking would look like, and I'd love to share it with you folks. I think it should be okay, since Harry was the one who introduced me to Youporn in the first place.
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Let us hear them
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I'm sure mother and child were compensated well to keep this under wraps. What angered me, is when I read that Palin called Schwarzenegger "disgusting". A child born out of wedlock? Yes, the circumstances are very different, but hello? Pot meet kettle. And I'll bet within a year, this will all be almost forgotten.
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What a hypocrite. I'll bet half her kids aren't Todd's. Anyways, this Arnie story will blow over in a week. People are just shocked by hideous the woman is. Like Diox said, I hope some hot ladies come out with their own Arnie stories, to restore our respect for the man.
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the guy is fucking pathetic and seriously it must have been a hard call "my hand or this pig"
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May 20, 2011, 10:06 a.m. CST
btw, bobo_vision I am spreading the gospel — what you posted earlier — to other message boards
by Astronut
Because what you posted is so, so true.
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All the pictures the media is showing is of her today. There are a few pictures of her from 15 years ago (before the kid was born) and she looked pretty good. I can understand him being tempted. As for Schwarzenegger cheating, who gives a fuck!? 60% of people cheat on their partner. This isn't something new! He is a greta movie star and should continue making movies. Schwarzenegger Forever!
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May 20, 2011, 10:17 a.m. CST
I am not taking credit for your message but I think it needs to be said
by Astronut
Because guys never seem to be "understood" when it comes to this stuff. We're just labeled as "rotten S.O.B.s" who can't keep it in our pants. Truth is, it takes two people to make — and destroy — a marriage. TWO. And I'm sure that's what happened here. I suspect neither Arnold nor Maria ]are a pleasure cruise to get along with, what with the ginormous fame, fortune and egos.
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May 20, 2011, 10:20 a.m. CST
Ladies should cater to their husbands needs — at least from time to time
by Astronut
I'm not saying they should be slaves or anything like that, but damn... can a woman just feed a man's ego once in a while? Is it too much to ask? Is that even possible these days??? A man needs his ego repped every now and then. If the wife doesn't do this — and some other female steps in to do it — then what do you expect is going to happen? I'm being serious.
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Well said, my friend!
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May 20, 2011, 10:36 a.m. CST
I don't know how Shriver's Skeletor body was able
by openthepodbaydoorshal
to stand Arnold's, ahem, bulk, to produce the 3 kids they had without breaking every bone in her body.
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Thanks, bro
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May 20, 2011, 10:41 a.m. CST
Marriage made by agenda? For both? Kinda looks
by openthepodbaydoorshal
like it. No one mention Arnold needing to hear "the lamentations of their wimmen."...? Someone had to beat me to it..
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May 20, 2011, 10:48 a.m. CST
When I was starting out, they asked who is my role model
by David Cloverfield
at a job interview, I always answered Arnold. (Austrian boy becomes Mr. Universe, then the biggest action hero, then governor.). Having a secret family for ten years just adds to this.
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And vice versa, as well.
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May 20, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST
bob_uzumaki, Chinatown used to be one of my favorite movies
by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH
This was years ago before I knew the details of Polanski's crime of perversion. He drugged and anally raped a 13 year old girl. Yes, she testified that she told him to stop and he did not. This is not consensual. It is Rape rape, Whoopie! But, even if it were consensual it wold still be a crime. Polanski pled guilty and was jailed for psychological evaluation at the end of which he was to be sentenced. Polanski heard that the judge was going to give him a real sentence for his real crime as opposed to the standard slap on the wrist afforded most celebrities at the time so he decided to flee the country instead of appear in court and receive his sentence. He PLED GUILTY to a crime. A pretty heinous crime at that. He fled justice. He is a fugitive. There is no statute of limitations. He needs to be brought to justice. It doesn't matter if the victim asked for the charges to be dropped years after the fact. This is between the state and him. I do still believe that Chinatown is a great film, but just because a person is a talented artist it does not excuse their criminal actions. That said, I will never watch one of his films again nor support this child rapist and criminal in anyway.
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May 20, 2011, 11:28 a.m. CST
Too bad a man's wedding ring is actually AN ANTI-BLOWJOB KRYPTONITE RING
by Astronut
Because let's face it, that's when it stops.
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May 20, 2011, 11:28 a.m. CST
Wow, are you guys seriously blaming Ahnold's actions on his wife?
by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH
That's some serious f'd up shit, right there?
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May 20, 2011, 11:30 a.m. CST
Speaking of Sarah Palin, BSB, she faked the Trig pregnancy using a fucking seat cushion to make her belly look pregnant.
by THE_CHOPPAH
http://www.lauranovakauthor.com/1/post/2011/05/sponge-sarah-square-pillow.html
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But, the decent thing for Ahnold to do would have been to tell his wife that he cheated immediately after it happened. Then she would have had the choice to forgive him or leave him instead of being forced to reamin in a relationship based on a lie.
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... what you posted.
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May 20, 2011, 11:35 a.m. CST
Actually, Shriver looks more like a shrunken head
by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH
on the body of the Crypt Keeper. That said, the maid ain't nothing to look at either. I mean if you're gonna cheat and your a millionaire Celebrity and the most powerful man in California wouldn't you at least hit the Playboy mansion.
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That's an interesting article.
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May 20, 2011, 11:39 a.m. CST
MY "ANTI-BLOWJOB KRYPTONITE RING" COMMENT... HERE'S A TRUE STORY
by Astronut
I was standing around a group of guys at a wedding reception, there were probably ten of us, and up walks the groom. One of the guys in the group said to him, "You know what that is, right?" (pointing at the groom's wedding ring) The groom is like, "Uh, yeah...?" The dude replied, "That's an anti-blowjob Kryptonite ring, man..." All of the married guys in the group looked at each other with "that look" — a look of knowing. The UN-married guys were all like, "Huh? I don't get it." I filled them in. "THE ANTI-BLOWJOB KRYPTONITE RING" TRUER WORDS MAY NEVER HAVE BEEN SPOKEN.
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RIP Bonesaw.
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R.I.P.
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May 20, 2011, 11:52 a.m. CST
Speaking of ANTI-BLOWJOB KRYPTONITE, where's braindrain been?
by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH
I actually miss his inane 40 character or less comments. Not really.
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I guy with impeccable taste who can appreciate quality Science Fiction television entertainment like SGU.
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keeps you from getting blowjobs and protects you from Superman?
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Isn't it crazy though...? I get it. But. I mean, jesus fuck. Can't the woman — especially the woman you selected out of ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE — can't the woman just stop taking the man for granted without this stupid game playing? For fuck's sake... It has been said a woman marries a man hoping to CHANGE him. A man marries a woman hoping she will NEVER change. Just stop thinking about the death of MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE FOR A MINUTE — and think about how TRUE THAT STATEMENT IS.
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May 20, 2011, 11:58 a.m. CST
"I possess the anti-blowjob kryptonite boxers!"
by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH
Are those your SGU boxers, diox?
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May 20, 2011, noon CST
astronut, I'd rather think about the death of MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE FOR A MINUTE
by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH
Sounds like you got burned bad from some chick, dude.
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May 20, 2011, 12:01 p.m. CST
I think the KRYPTONITE part is because of familiarity, just for laughs.
by Astronut
In reality, it has more in common with Green Lantern's ring. Since it's a ring. Kryptonite has a nice ring to it. haha. sorry.
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Good call. But in all seriousness, haven't most guys at one point?
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May 20, 2011, 12:04 p.m. CST
"The days I dont spend my time on the internet or watch TV are usually my happiest, I envy those times when such tech did not exist."
by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH
They were great times, diox. I remember when we used to go out hunting in the woods for dirty magazines. Every once in a while you'd hit the jackpot when some perv would dump his entire porno collection. There was much fapping in the tree fort on those glorious days. You kids don't know how good you have it!
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Just don't get bitter. You gotta be cool like Steve McQueen. Diox, is right, if you gotta have a take them or leave them attitude.
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Porn should never be a substitute for real sex. That does become pathetic. And it is always good to remind yourself that porn is not real. Most porn has absolutely nothing to do with a real person's sex life. And the real thing is 1000X better. Porn only involves really only one sense: sight. I guess sound too. While the best senses for enjoying sex are left unutilized.
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now, StarGate, that's a whole other bag of worms.
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most porn stars have shitty sex lives as well. That shit's gotta take a toll on a person's psyche.
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There is a Crom! http://www.tmz.com/2011/05/19/arnold-schwarzenegger-governator-terminated-animated-stan-lee-comics-canceled-pos/
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May 20, 2011, 1:24 p.m. CST
Mr Universe should have just blown his load into a sock
by Bumpasses Dawg
Rather than tuck his steroids shrunken man meat into that bloated chunk of rancid feta cheese packed in a wrinkly Stay-Puft Marshmallow casing. Just the thought of the Sperminator making a "Total Recall tracking device removal" ugly face over a steaming pile of Minute Maid is enough to cause wide-spread sterility.
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This is a blessing! The kid looks more like Arnold than do his kids with Maria, who I doubt would want to get into film. Somebody get this boy some creatine and into the gym for 3 hours a day. We need a Conan/Terminator actor for the new millennium, goddamn it.
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May 20, 2011, 1:35 p.m. CST
I would have to agree — THE CANCELATION OF THE RANCID, GOD-AWFUL "GOVERNATOR" CARTOON is the BEST THING TO COME OF THIS
by Astronut
Without question!
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after the divorce! He will do a new TERMINATOR, bank on it. 5 years from now we'll be sick of the sight of him. As if we weren't already...
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Cum with me if you want to live!
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May 20, 2011, 2:24 p.m. CST
If tomorrow * IS * the last day for us all, you won't care that you "wasted" it
by Astronut
... because you'll be too dead to care.
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May 20, 2011, 2:54 p.m. CST
I plan on spending the whole day tomorrow following braindrain's Twitter feed
by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH
Kill Me Now!!!
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To understand what lame projects he's selected and he will pull out of both.
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May 20, 2011, 4:33 p.m. CST
There are pics of the maid in her younger days on the net...
by Grimmjow Jeagerjaques
And they ain't a hell of a lot better than the current pics. Basically it's just her with 80s hair. Seriously anyone who would defend Arnie's decision to knock this fugly bitch up in the name "sometimes you just can't control yourself" is just fucking insane. Arnie could have had anyone, ANYONE. And he chose...that. Ugh. What a retard. I'd rather sit through six seasons of the Governator than look at a picture of that whale nipple who had Arnie's love child for thirty seconds. What'd Arnie do? Take the Kobe Bryant Seminar For Proper Adultery Choices or something?
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Arnold is smart the reason he is holding off his projects is probably to lower his income for the child support he's going to have to pay.My advice to Arnold if he ever reads this(cause all the great Actors read the news from here) is get snipped and Terminate the possibilities of anymore little Arnolds running around.
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BTW, a shrink just posted an article theorizing that urinals & group showers are related to casual sex and infidelity: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/05/06/men-really-think-urinals/
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NOW FUCKING LOOK YOU'RE STOPPING THE FUCKING CARTOON TOO?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU ARNOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GODDAMMIT DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU THIS FUCKING SELFISH ARNOLD?!?!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK MORE CAN THE FANS DO FOR YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIRST "CRY MACHO", AND NOW THE FUCKING CARTOON!???????????? FUCK THAT!!!!!!!!! YOUR FANS STICK BY YOUR SIDE THROUGH THICK AND FUCKING THIN, and you're going to deprive of us of the fucking WET DREAM THAT THE CARTOON WAS for you AND us?!?!? FUCK YOU EVEN HAD LARRY KING IN THE INTRO FUCK!!!!!!! Arnold it was like you living out your fantasy, everything you ALWAYS wanted, don't FUCKING DO THIS!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!! ARNOLD PLEASE reconsider FUCK PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! listen Arnold it can still work you can add in a hispanic housemaid that looks like bulbasaur and add your own new kid into the "crime-fighting team"ARNOLD IT CAN WORK OUT PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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a man is only as faithful as his options.......although I'm sure that one does not often expect to see a picture which goes against all of our sensibilities of decency, taste, and symmetry, as we have seen as of late. What???/ I'm quite buzzed, so not exactly shooting straight. Still, shocking.....
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All those years of steroid use must have shrunken his balls to the size of raisins.
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according to the latest Arnold gossip
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Arnie is a dirty fucker and a shit actor.
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If you freeze-frame the original "Terminator" as he walks naked across the Griffith Observatory parking lot, you can catch a glimpse. The guy's hung like a horse. He's putting his projects on hold because he's in danger of losing his family, guys. He doesn't need the money. He knows he has fucked up ROYALLY, and is trying to salvage his life. Not his public life, but the people closest to him, who about now are in an insane amount of pain. This is just tragic. He didn't just get caught fooling around--for ten YEARS he had a child and flaunted him right in Maria's face, took him on family vacations...the horror she must have felt watching that kid take on familiar Swarzenegger configurations must have been crushing. This shit is just awful.
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King Conan... Older, slower, wiser, angrier. It would be perfect. Good supporting cast too...
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I could puke as Harry and AICN cream their pants over that Polanski child abuser ... So wrong. <BR><BR> Also , Arnie is average at best in the cock dept. (Well while we're talking about Paedolanski , it can't get much worse can it?)
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LMFAO....
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May 22, 2011, 9:14 a.m. CST
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