Cool News
The Hoff Joins Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, And Gary Busey In The PIRANHA 3D Sequel!!
Merrick here...
This came in yesterday and somehow never got posted. Casting notes for PIRANHA 3DD, the amusingly titled sequel to last year's PIRANHA 3D, via press release. Many of these names we've heard associated with the project already - Hasselhoff is newly announced.
Kinda hard not to have a little love for a film which purposefully casts Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Gary Busey, and The Hoff - although I'm still nervously awaiting word on whether Jerry O'Connell's Regurgitated Penis k will somehow make a return appearance.
HERE is my initial notion regarding how it could be incorporated again - although one could also have it bob into the action during a sex scene that is staged in the water...bumping up against the silky inner thigh of an impossibly hot girl who's about to get laid. Or, it could feasibly be retrieved and used as fish bait by a vision impaired fisherman, who of course is subsequently eaten by the very fish he was ensnaring for dinner. To be clear, these are merely my own psychotic and inadequate ramblings - I have no idea whatsoever if The Powers That Be are contemplating a cameo for Jerry O'Connell's Regurgitated Penis (it would be fun to see that "Special Appearance by..." listing in the credits, though...)
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DAVID HASSELHOFF ROUNDS OUT CAST OF
PIRANHA 3DD
David Hasselhoff heads back to the water in this year’s PIRANHA 3DD. He joins the previously announced cast which includes Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Paul Scheer, Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka and David Koechner.
Trading in the sandy beaches of “Baywatch” for terror at The Big Wet Water Park, Hasselhoff will face off with the flesh eating fish of PIRANHA 3DD.
A Dimension Films release, PIRANHA 3DD opens nationwide on November 23, 2011.
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Readers Talkback
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May 12, 2011, 11:38 a.m. CST
Gary Busey better have a major role....not some small cameo
by Bobo_Vision
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hence the nod to Baywatch babes in casting the Hoff
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Thought Ving's character died when he was using that motor to mow down fishes and got messed up himself.
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looks like theyre relying on camp celebrity to propell this. The first one sucked anyway so whatever.
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will return as Deputy Fallon's long lost twin sister - who has been rejected for sexual reassignment surgery and is extremely bitter. He would then have a huge showdown with Gary Busey (who is playing Jerry O'Connell's regurgitated penis) on the front lawn of DannyGloversDickblood's house. And I'm spent.
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May 12, 2011, 11:55 a.m. CST
Christopher Lloyd was criminally underused in the first one...
by WriteForTheEdit
...and he criminally overplayed his character anyway... Yeah, I bet he, Busey and The Hoff only signed on for a day's work... But I'll netflix this bitch, just like the last one... Oh, Elizabeth Shue, let me hold you in my arms, console you, tell you that everything will be all right...
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Is that the new business plan of AICN. I mean, talk about never posting new NEWS.
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..on Celebrity Apprentice(which I'm guessing was filmed within the last 2 months), Gary is CRAZY and gonna be very hard to work with. They will have an easier time if they just let Gary say whatever he wants. Don't give him any lines. Just make sure he knows when to say something and not mess up into other peoples lines and free for all it.
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When I was a little boy, well, I was still 100lbs overweigfht, I dreamed of going to the moon. I always thought it was made of cheese, and of course, being Harry Knowles, I wanted to LIVE there. Imagine, a place that smells, and is edible, AWESOME. Anyways, as I was watching some softcore asian porn last night, hoping that my penis might work, I saw that we finally made it to the moon. This is a great day to be an American, and a human... now, if you excuse me, I'm well on my way to being the size of 6 humans!
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An opportunity to see Clu Gulager on the big screen again is certainly more exciting than watching Gary Busey.
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Last time Jerry O'Connel was the GirlsGoneWild dude, this time they need a Tucker Max type of guy, possibly even played by Tucker Max.
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That cat is awesome.
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May 12, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST
Maybe have one of those credits with a box around it like
by openthepodbaydoorshal
those '70s Universal disater epics..."Dicky McDickerson as The Penis". Maybe this time have Uwe Boll decapitated, in place of Eli Roth. And at least find a cameo for Joe Dante or please, please, please Dick Miller..hey, the guy's at least younger than Betty White.
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May 12, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST
BTW, watch that "Jump In My Car" video and realize...
by WriteForTheEdit
...that The Hoff has milked a decades-long career out of little more than his copious personal cheesiness. That is some kind of genius. Well done, Hoffster!
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May 12, 2011, 12:38 p.m. CST
With that cast the production of this film is likely to stall
by moonlightdrive
due to their on set behaviour.
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May 12, 2011, 12:50 p.m. CST
If it's really called "k" then Tommy Lee Jones is the only one to play it.
by WriteForTheEdit
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That's fucking hilarious! I can just imagine kids going down the water slide followed by an undulating team of piranha! How the fuish get from one pool to the other will be a narrative challenge, but it could be brilliant! It also presents the problem of having the fish be very easy toJust drain the fucking water! Definitely psyched for this!
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The man is God-Like LOL http://www.amazon.com/Very-Best-David-Hasselhoff/dp/B00005Q8UG/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1304994986&sr=1-1
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Who's next, Arnold?
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Spielberg? Or maybe that guy who almost directed Piranha 2. What's his face..... I think he did some movies with robots and aliens or something. Oh, and a big boat.
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"YOU'RE DOING GREAT!" "GOOD! THEN I'LL KEEP IT UP!!!" I swear, as much as Family Guy bugs me, that clip they did of Busey had me rolling.
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where he screams at Gary Busey.
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That is the important question. I’m hoping for some 3D Whitney Stevens.
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I made a comment about this yesterday as well, STILL no article for the Horrible Bosses trailer? Looks like it's going to be the comedy hit of the summer. As for Piranha 3DD, I'm looking forward to it, I had a great time in the theatre watching the first one, it was a cheesefest in just the right way.
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May 12, 2011, 2:54 p.m. CST
box_bruceleitner - haven't seen the trailer for Bosses
by openthepodbaydoorshal
but I hope it does for Charlie Day what The Hangover did for Zach Galifianakis...
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May 12, 2011, 2:55 p.m. CST
We need to devote more resources to figuring out how to get Kelly Brook back
by Cletus Van Damme
...and naked (duh).
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May 12, 2011, 2:58 p.m. CST
Jesus...that video. Hasselhoff looks so bad that when the video seized up for a minute on a closeup of his face, I thought he had a stroke.
by Cletus Van Damme
Awful
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Based on the trailer, it looks like he'll be hilarious but everyone looks like they're firing on all cylinders, especially Colin Farrell with his heinous comb over.
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I had several issues with it. Jerry O'Connell was playing a cartoon character. He seemed to think he was in a completely different movie than the casual way everyone else played their roles. I really hated that performance and was damn glad when he got ate. The 3D was crap. There is an early scene in particular where the camera goes by a chain link fence but the 3D doesn't resolve the open gaps in the fence and it turns into a blurry mess. Aja saying you can't physically shoot 3D on the water because of reflections is total horseshit. The fact that they are shooting Piranha 3DD natively in 3D is testament to that, let alone Jaws 3D. The attack at the end got too dark. I didn't think any of the deaths were funny, they were just nasty and sort of despiriting. I just didn't think it was an interesting enough story. And maybe that's a stupid issue to have with a film called Piranha 3D, but I felt far more involved in the story of the original film. I think Piranha 3D spent too much time jumping around between charaters to really make us care for any of them. That one chick was SOOOO fucking hawt in it. Totally sucks she got killed because she would be a draw right out of the gate for a sequel. I just don't think Aja handled the tone right. It was supposed to be campy fun like Planet Terror or something and I think he played it too straight for that. The only one "trying" and let me emphasize TRYING to go for a campy tone was O'Connell and he just came off as annoying. I'm a huge fan of Haute Tension but unfortunately I haven't seen Aja make a great film since. Piranha 3D is "good", but only just.
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And more Adam Scott, just cause everything could use more Adam Scott.
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Had to be said.
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Was at the movies last night, during the ads/pre-show trivia before the flick started there was a small feature on The Hangover II and the narrator actually said "...the most anticipated sequel of all time". I wanted to hit something.
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It was so shameless and over the top. I have to disagree with Fett regarding the tone of the film. I thought it hit the right notes all the way through. A comparison could be made with Shoot 'Em Up (even if it's a different genre), which tried to go for the tone of movies like The Transporter. The difference between Piranha 3D and Shoot 'Em Up is that the latter fails miserably and comes off as smug and condescending while Piranha 3D was both a funny homage and a cheesy, sleazy B-horror in its own right. <p> Bring on the tits and fishy mayhem of Piranha 3DD!
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I waited...and I waited.... There was plenty of horrendously stupid shit like teh Mike Tyson Cameo and the incredibly offensive asian stereotype guy, but funny stuff? I didn't see any. I was thinking about blind-buying that Blu-ray because of the hype. SO glad I Netflixed it instead. Now Hot Tub Time Machine was a pleasant surprise. I don't know quite how a sequel would work but the original is a great time.
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You really are the lamest troll ever. Why do you even bother? Everyone hates you. Oh, wait...
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Oh look, he's BACK! Why? I have no idea, it makes zero sense that he is in the sequel, he was the worst part about the original. Now, I'm not shitting all over the first, I actually did enjoy it and laughed quite a bit however Hot Tub Time Machine is definitely the better movie.
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Yes, you do. And it's all bad.
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Yep, the sight of ol' grandpa Hass chasing teenage girls around has the creep-o-meter pinging deep into the red.
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http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ecd1ce83d7/ving-rhames-wins-oscar-for-piranha-3d
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My wife walked downstairs with a big plate of eggs and meat and sat down just as the massive splatterfest started. She got up and walked right out.
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Captain Non Sequitur strikes again.
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May 12, 2011, 4:42 p.m. CST
I thought ""...the most anticipated sequel of all time" was Tranformers 3
by openthepodbaydoorshal
tee hee hee
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May 12, 2011, 4:44 p.m. CST
And I wholeheartedly agree. The hangover is the most
by openthepodbaydoorshal
overrated movie of recent years. So it made a ton of money..make me laugh motherfuckers.
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You retards named Ryan sure get confused fast.
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I'm in playoff mode right now and all we really have is Slap Shot and Miracle. Fuck football and baseball movies, moar hockey, MOAR!!!
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May 12, 2011, 5:33 p.m. CST
I like how geeks try to say The Hangover is overrated and unfunny...
by Jodie
You contrarian douche bags can stick with Scott Pilgrim and Tron. Funny is funny, and just because Hangover was a huge hit with the masses doesn't make it overrated. It's a great comedy with great characters.
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I liked it but I do feel a sequel is completely unnecessary. Scott Pilgrim though, that is one movie I just don't get, it looks great but the main character is such an asshole I can not root for him during the fights, they tried to make cheating on someone "cute" which is fucking idiotic.
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ZZZZ
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May 12, 2011, 5:47 p.m. CST
And now Braindrain has to stalk Justin Bieber around on every social networking site
by STICKY WHITE
and ask him weird questions about his sexuality just to feel like he has a connection with somebody. Because he's never been in a relationship.
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Does it get any more pointless?
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May 12, 2011, 5:55 p.m. CST
POINT BREAK, BUDDY HOLLY, LETHAL WEAPON, SURVIVING THE GAME, SILVER BULLET, CARNIE, ETC., ETC.
by The Krypton Kid
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Really Mattman? i thought it was a pretty good cameo- here is the guy who played in jaws- wearing the same outfit, embodying the same mannerisms, drunk on a boat, drinking amity beer (which kicks off the movie)- singing that ole' folk song. Armed with the knowledge that the original Piranha was a shameless rip off of jaws... and they got him to reprise his role as a guy named Matt. The row boat is a direct link to his childhood story of a shark that he caught- this time he doesn't survive. Also- to top it off he comes back in a similar fashion as Ed Gardner. I thought it was a fine cameo.
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Who cares?
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YEAH!
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May 12, 2011, 6:19 p.m. CST
Yawn. Back to the outside world where the REALLY real conversations happen!
by STICKY WHITE
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(Without wetting yourself)
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May 12, 2011, 8:06 p.m. CST
Wasn't Ving Rhames eaten by the Piranha in the last one?
by planetran_fan
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But this Braindrain sure comes off as a surly little prick doesn't he? Debating if I should just continue to skip over his posts or admire the guy for how blatantly he gets off on annoying the fuck outta everyone on here. Probably the former as shit-talking behind a keyboard is akin to pissing in the wind.
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I second Gary Busey having a major role.
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I remember going into PIRANHA 3D with the hope that it would simply be a late-summer goofy movie. Unfortunately, in the end, it was all over the map in terms of the direction... the acting... the tone... plus the 3D effects were very hit and miss. Which was especially disappointing given all the pre-hype how it had been "specifically planned" for 3D. Anyway, I only saw the movie once, but as for Ving Rhames did we ACTUALLY see him die? I can't remember. I recall him using a whirling boat motor to slice at piranha...and him then buckling in the waist deep water as the fishies went for his legs... ...But didn't he sort of just START to sink into the water more? The gag being that the fish were slowly eating his legs off? Or am I remembering that wrong and they DID show his body going full into the water, to be consumed? The reason I bring it up is because the obvious way to bring him back would be with prosthetic legs (or even in a wheelchair ). At which point they could simply say that as he was starting to go under, one of the college kids in a boat or raft or whatever grabbed him and pulled him to safety...
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