Cool News
Happy 10th AICN Anniversary for Massawyrm... oh - and he's written a movie that's moving ahead!
Hey folks, Harry here... about a billion years ago, which is Geek Time for a decade, Christopher "Robinson" Cargill has been writing on AICN as an entity the world has come to cower from called, Massawyrm. His original piece was a write up about Jon Favreau's MADE event that I threw - and that he covered 10 years ago yesterday.
10 years ago I couldn't conceive of this Dr Pepper swilling, chain smoking video store clerk not only continuing to write for me... but living... dear God... 3 blocks from me. I had to hit him with a... "Please Call before coming over" warning yesterday - but it's easy to see why he was so damned excited about coming over. You see... not only was it the 10th Anniversary of me asking him to write for AICN, but he was also given permission to declare himself an employed screenwriter with a project sold and in a production pipeline.
Massawyrm has written with Scott Derrickson (a man who made the pretty damn cool THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE and the damnable remake of DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL) an Untitled film that originated in his own Nicotine deprived mind. (He stopped smoking years ago) I didn't pry for details - because I would rather be surprised by whatever slinked from that noodle of his. In this article from the L.A. Times - it mentions an untitled Scott Derrickson horror story with a crime at its center that is being produced by Jason Blum, the producer of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.
Scott & Massa have apparently taken a shine to one another and are planning to write together in the future - and I have this to say to all of you.
Massawyrm will continue to be here on AICN so long as he always represents his own particular brand of film commenting lunacy. So Happy 10th & Congrats my friend. Don't suck it up too bad! :)
Readers Talkback
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Massawyrm celebrates his 10th AICN Anniversary with an Untitled Film deal!
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Kick our asses with your new movie, man.
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I remember he disappeared abruptly for a while, and McWeeny wrote something snotty and mysterious about how you'd have to ask him the reasons why, or something like that. Then he came back and it was never mentioned again. Bizarre.
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Congrats. In three or four years I'll reference this post when I'm being interviewed by AICN.
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TAKE THAT FARACI, YOU FAT FUCK... I mean... Yeah.
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That first "sentence" has so many problems I don't even know where to begin. Poor writing skills seem to be a thing around here; I guess Harry wanted to produce a masterpiece for this anniversary.
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Word. I wonder if shame is ever felt around these parts.
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I was looking for it with the AICN search feature, but you all know how that goes.
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To celebrate, next time you post a review, use the signature I did for you that you never used but called, ahem-hem, "a genuine piece of art." Ahem-hem. Congrats and good luck.
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http://www.aintitcool.com/node/8920
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You are far and away my favorite AICN writer, the one with whom I most often agree (and am able to disagree with respectfully on the few remaining occasions). You have a command of the language, you are fair-minded, you seem pretty agenda free, and you are definitely no one's tool or fool. Couldn't be happier to see you climbing the ranks and doing bigger, better things. All my best to you in all future things, sir!
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soooo disagreed with you. but at least now im not afraid to watch a movie to hate. That said, I love it when you review a shit movie for the sake of reminding us how evil Hollywood is, and how they deserve every tera byte I download from them. so cheers for that
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He's the guy on here that writes essentially like a refined talkbacker, isn't afraid to shit on a movie, and just strikes me as a pretty real guy. Congrats on 10 years bud.
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May 8, 2011, 8:38 p.m. CST
Tough to get anything with a decent budget made, so congrats, BUT.....
by quantize
with THAT producer and THAT other writer..dude, the script and direction won't be able to miss a single beat at all, otherwise serious threat of capsizing! Emily Rose was fine, but TDTESS was a pile of steaming.. (ok its not nec his fault either!)
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There is absolutely almost nothing redeemable about that movie.
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Don't take any notes from the other guy.
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Do you mean 'per diem'? 'per day' paid by the day or were you being sarcastic?
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I hope you were referring to the 2008 remake of TDTESS!!! pally boy
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It makes me bitch up and cry when you talk sweet about me like that. Thanks, big guy.
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Aww who I am kidding, that fat donkey ball faced mother fucker Harry 'll love it
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I LOVE that piece. I've actually used it a number of times over the years. I need to check and see if that artwork is back up and accessible from the servers again (that huge SNAFU late last year borked us pretty hard.)
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I had the pleasure of chatting with him briefly at BNAT. Super friendly and passionate gent. Kudos on the screenplay sir and best of luck on your film!
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Absolutely horrible. With the most annoying kid in all of cinema. I wanted nothing more than for Klaatu to blast him into oblivion and move on.
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"The Republicant" Its a about a political party and the film blogger that dared to love it. Love it to DEATH.
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May 8, 2011, 9:05 p.m. CST
I hope you were referring to the 2008 remake of TDTESS!!!
by Crusty_Juggler
What do you mean? Is there supposed to be a different version of The Day the Earth Stood Still or something. I thought I would have heard something about it if there was.
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I'd like to commemorate this event by posting my favorite pic of the Wyrm! <p> http://static2.aintitcool.com/images2006/massabuttlg.jpg
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I love your writing, man. Especially when you're struck by the political overtones in something and not afraid to roll up the old sleeves and delve into that fucker. Even Vern doesn't do much of that anymore.
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Fuck you for putting that image into my mind. Fuck you right in your stupid ass.
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"Kankerhoer", not "kankerhauer".
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I hate you for shitting on Sucker Punch, but you're still one'a my favorite writers here. Good luck with your movie.
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When a new movie comes out that I'm thinking of seeing, I read Roger Ebert's review. The next review I read is Massawyrm's. That's damn high praise coming from me. Keep up the good work!
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As opposed to the 1951 Original TDTESS.
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I'll never forget his Happy Feet review... that was out there... and um... well I can't remember the other one so i guess it doesn't count, but i remember it drove a spike into my brain in the most interesting way if you know what i mean.
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May 8, 2011, 10:01 p.m. CST
Massa, stay humble and don't let it go to your head. Karma works swiftly on AICN reviewers cum screenwriters who become dicks (ie. Moriarty's defunct screenwriting career).
by Bobo_Vision
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May 8, 2011, 10:07 p.m. CST
If you're gonna be a biggot, at least spell "faggot" properly
by Robert79797979
It amazes me how stupid you redneck, sister-fucking, hillbillies really are.
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May 8, 2011, 10:28 p.m. CST
massawyrm: Could you tell us again this news about you in your own words...?
by Prof. Pop-Cult
Because I find it painful trying to read Harry these days. Seriously, did Harry suffer a stroke tied to his health issues recently that I was not aware of?
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Your reviews rock and if they truly reflect your inner self, I'm hopeful to see the same reflection upon original work. Your words will carry you instead of just looking backward. Good luck to you sir! Curious...Massawyrm, do you subscribe to McKee? I love his book, Story, and I'm using it as a guide in my screenplay efforts.
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your redneck hillbilly brother. And its 'Bigot'! p.s. Are you related to locke?
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just looked terrible. but i trust you massawyrm, ur the best reviewer on the site, so good luck and congrats!
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May 8, 2011, 10:40 p.m. CST
No news about the Dark Knight Rises spy pics of THE LAZARUS PIT????
by Robert
Wtf Aicn??
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I think of Massa as being a relatively recent addition to the site. Just how old is AICN and how long have I been reading it?! Argh...
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Well what did ya think? We gonna get a review from ya? :p
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To get signed on to writing a horror pic doesn't it? I don't think we've seen any of the flicks come to fruition yet so no judgement, just an observation.
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Congratulations, which you may be surprised to hear. Screenwriting is tough and anyone who chooses to create art with the best of intentions should be supported until there is reason to otherwise. My feelings on Massa's reviews are well documented, but I don't think that there is any innate correlations between how one reviews film and how one reviews them.
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I think the critical landscape is worse off with someone who so clearly defends cynicism and lowest common denominator schlock the way Massa does. To write for this site should be a privilege, and for much of Massa's tenure here I feel he's been proving the reality is exactly otherwise.
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"how one reviews films and how one writes them." the last sentence meant to say.
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May 9, 2011, 12:22 a.m. CST
@retardedrobert79797979 the only sister I've been fucking is yours
by Majority
Cream pie deluxe!
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You dirty nigger jew
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May 9, 2011, 12:43 a.m. CST
@ majority fuck you cocksucker go take it up the ass from your dad and go cry "fagget" some more
by alexander
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May 9, 2011, 12:47 a.m. CST
Robert1979, you're an iddiot, morron, dummmy, and assfface.
by SierraTangoFoxtrotUniform
Whoa, you can drag the comment section to make it bigger. Didn't know that.
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I just hope messiahman and kobe_tell_me_blahblah don't see that or they'll spontaneously explode into tears and used tampons.
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When it comes to you, buddy, I am but the lonely girl at the prom, standing against the wall, yearning to be noticed.
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May 9, 2011, 1:01 a.m. CST
right, sierratangofoxtrotuniforms used tears and tampons, yes they'll probably explode into them
by alexander
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You'll be shocked, SHOCKED, to know I absolutely loved every second of Thor. Even with all the positive reviews I think it's thus far underrated.
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Isn't Derrickson supposed to be working on the Hyperion (best book I've ever read) adaptation? Can Massa pry the scoop out of that fucker, because it's been hinted at for years to no discernible result.
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Congratulations Massa. It's always good to see writers make it. Stories like this give all of us writers hope. Keep at 'em.
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That's unpossible! But upon searching my feelings, I know it to be true.
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May 9, 2011, 5:13 a.m. CST
Massa, admit it, your first draft script was hardcore porn
by eveelcapitalist
Big black dicks in little asian girls, just how papa likes it.
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That's not saying much but just giving him props...dude is solid and glad he getting rewarded for his talents.
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And please don't become a douche like Moriarty.
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May 9, 2011, 7:12 a.m. CST
Did William Goldamn ghost-wrote/script-doctored Massa's script?
by AsimovLives
Inquiring minds want to know.
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Actually, I think the whole opening of the film is excellent. With the scientists wondering what the hell is happening, the thing slowing down, and all that jazz. Very good. Jaden Smith..... not so good. And the ending was a bit silly. Although in keeping with the original. Anyways, congrats Massa. I always enjoy your reviews, even if not always agreeing with them. What sort of budget are you looking at for your film?
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May 9, 2011, 8:31 a.m. CST
Thank God it was Massa. Imagine what Harry's script would look like!
by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS
Fayde iN: INT. BEDROOOM OF HARRY KOALS, PRIVATE EYE - KNIGHT A cluttered bedroom which all over the place. There iss a poster of the reamake of "GODZILLA" on the wall. Bed is a mess (you can tell it's. HARRY KOALS is lying under the sheetz with a fone against his ear. KOALS: "Dont you worry. Im on this like juice on a pussy. You wont find a better than me. I will find out who done this murder, and, then, Ill, let you know who done what." FaYDE oUT:....
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I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Great way to start my day. Thanks for that. Brilliant.
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I think the opening to Day the Earth Stood Still is well-made and has some good tension. But Jaden's character was one of the worst in cinema. Every choice, every action made to service the plot was annoying and infuriating. And the end was handled terribly. What's the point in having a sacrifice if no one knows about it or knows how close they came to annihilation?
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May 9, 2011, 9:59 a.m. CST
Definitely love MASSA's reviews and Worst Of the Year lists.
by George Newman
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and a great guy all round. Can't wait to see the film!
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So is Harry, but we all knew that already.
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Again, Massa, thanks for pointing me toward this find. An excellent film!
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Of all the reviewers on here, I've found that your opinion tallies the closest with my own and so you are pretty much my barometer these days when it comes to all things cinema. Keep up the good work, sir - long may you reign!
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It's always been a pleasure to read your work.
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May 9, 2011, 2:38 p.m. CST
Also, christian_bale_trashed_my_lights, fucking awesome.
by WriteForTheEdit
That said, it was also very funny.
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A classic F@#k me review... who knows what this guy has in store script writing wise?
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Even after the shit, it's still one of my fav sites. Congrats!
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May 9, 2011, 6:22 p.m. CST
Congratulations Massa! Here's hoping your movie gets produced!!
by Andy Pandy
When will Knowles' Ghost Town get released??
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May 9, 2011, 11:10 p.m. CST
We now know Massa's price for turning traitor on his politics.
by detinue
He wanted to sell a script to Hollywood and he made an abrupt left turn to suck up to them. How typical. We can officially add two-bit whore to liar, coward, and traitor when describing Massa. Duly noted.
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I'm sorry, but the remake's ending is not in tune with the original. The original didn't sent Earth back to the middle ages permantly. And the message of the original was "you guys either behave or else".
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Been one of my fav's from Spill for a while now =)! Looking forward to hearing more about this movie.
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That shit was so funny...i work in a library and i had to high-tail it out of here before i interrupted work for everyone! LMAO
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