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Quint's look at PITCH BLACK
Sigh... youth. Hey folks, Harry here. And Quint, the below reviewer doesn't seem to know who Keith David is. DUDE! THE THING... HELLO.... JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING! Sigh... Every fanboy on the planet is supposed to know who Keith David is. Quint.... Drop and give us 2000 you crusty Seaman! Here ya go folks, Quint's spoiler free look at PITCH BLACK...
Ahoy there, Constant Readers! The Ol' Crusty Seaman is back once again, this
time to add my voice to the growing chorus of those lucky geeks that have
gotten an early look at Pitch Black. Special thanks go to Harry for getting
Pitch Black to premiere at Butt-Numb-A-Thon (thus allowing my salty ass to
see it early) and for bringing out Vin Diesel, the film's star, as well. That
double whammy of seeing a kick-ass movie months early and then meeting the
star of said movie will be one of those life stories I'll be telling to Brody
and Hooper after the celebratory showing off of the scars. I think they're
tired of my Indianapolis story anyhow.
Anyway, you might know the plot of Pitch Black already and if you don't...
well, I suggest you keep it that way. Stay pure. I'm serious, don't pop your
cherry if you can help it. I went into the movie knowing next to nothing
about it, but, due to Harry's constant sputterings of the coolness of the
film, I had high expectations. I was not disappointed. I think the less you
know about this movie, the more your ass will be kicked by it.
My dad once told me a story, back when I was a young seaman, about him going
to a movie theater with a group of friends and then realizing that he had no
idea what any of the movies at this particular theater were. He was lured
into a particular movie based solely on the poster and the title, again not
knowing the slightest bit about the movie. That movie was Alien and it is
still one of my dad's favorite moviegoing experiences.
Asses in the seats is what this movie needs. Why? Because I'm a greedy fuck.
I want more! Harry was right, movies are my drugs, too. Pitch Black is the
shit that makes your heart beat a thousand miles a minute, that gets you to a
high you don't want to ever come down from. If Pitch Black is the good shit,
we want to keep that good shit coming! What easier way than to get the
pusher-man to notice that we like this good shit. Tell him. Let it be known.
"Hey, Pusha Man! Give us more!" We all know that most studio execs pay
attention to one thing only, BOTTOM LINE. BOX OFFICE. MONEY. I want more
movies like Pitch Black! More Balls-to-the-wall, hard edged sci-fi flicks! I
know it's in their nature to fuck things up, but if they keep going for the
just plain fun and coolness that Pitch Black has to offer, then I'm willing
to see the 4 or 5 awful rip-offs that'll come out to find that 1 that will be
better than all.
To keep the drug/movie analogy going, Pitch Black is fun exhilarating high.
It's not the reflective, looking deep within yourself and finding your inner
peace type of drug. It's not the "Ohhhmmmm..... ohhhmmmm...." shit. It's more
like,
"holyfuckwhatthefuckisthisshitmanthisissomefuckedupshitbut goddamnifitisntaweso
me!"
All right, enough of that. Let's get on to some of the reasons Pitch Black
will rock your world. The main reason, for me personally, is Vin Diesel.
Scene stealer. Pitch Black wouldn't be Pitch Black without Vin in it. It's
like Terminator wouldn't have been Terminator without Arnie. Sometimes
there's a man, and I'm talking about Vin here, sometimes there's a man that's
just the man for his time and place. Sometimes there's a man..... oh, I lost
my train of thought...
Back to the point, Vin (who most know as the voice of The Iron Giant), is
just the epitome of cool in this flick. If the movie gods are smiling, then
you will see a lot more of Vin in the future. He has the look, he has the
style and he has the talent. He is just too bad-ass in this movie to go
unrecognized for long.
All the other characters are wonderfully portrayed as well. Lot's of familiar
faces, but I doubt you could put a name to most of the actors. For instance:
The guy who played Mary's father in Something About Mary is in it. What the
fuck is his name? I don't know! But Goddamn if he isn't one of those faces
you see in films and go, "Where the hell do I know that guy from!?!?" But,
all the actors do their characters justice, with Vin as the standout.
Now, even with all that praise, I will say that the film isn't perfect. Some
of the creature CGI work is.... Noticeably CGI. It's not bad work, just
noticeable. That's just on some of the creature stuff, though. There is other
creature work that is just breathtaking. Then there's the planet and space
effects that make your eyes bulge and your mouth hang open a little bit.
Much praise goes to the director, as well as cinematographer, actors,
screenwriters, effects supervisors/designers, wardrobe, hair and make-up,
grips, bestboys, composer and everybody else that worked on this movie.
Pitch Black is made for fun of it all. It's purpose isn't to make you
discover your innerchild or become entranced by the intricate plot weavings.
It's purpose is to be entertaining! To tell the audience, "I'm gonna take you
on a ride. Hold on tight!" Exactly. It's a rollercoaster of a movie. Because
the movie is made for the fun and thrill of it all, it'll turn off the more
"straight" people. "What? What is this ludicrousness? I want my film! Not
this moooovie shenanigans!"
Go see this movie. Have fun. Afterall, what are movies for?
-Quint
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+ Expand All
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This guy is good. I haven't seen Pitch Black, but he was in Saving Private Ryan (Guy who gets shot by the sniper in the tower) and did a great job with his limited, first guy in the squad to buy it role.
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I'm sure all the other geeks know this, but not me. I mean, doesn't Best Boy sound vaguely homosexual? Is he like some dude they keep lubed up and strapped to a chair for those moments when the shot goes right? Come on, work with me here! And don't even get me started on the Best Boy Grip. That one's even worse, I imagine.
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I believe Best Boy means supervisor or senior, as in Best Boy Grip, or Best Boy Sound. Pitch Black is definitely a good "ride" movie. Not up there with the tops of the genre, but it is a good entertaining film, especially considering that their budget was quite a bit lower than the norm for sci-fi, lets be thankful this didn't turn into another Wing Commander.
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Hey, If Harry and all of his cronies think it's worth seeing... well, for some reason I trust the guy. And isn't that gal from "Farscape" supposed to be in this flick?
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Just because your dear old Dad had a good experience with Alien, does not mean the rest of us wouldn't like a little plot synopsis, for cryin' out loud! I don't care how much this movie made you want to play pocket pool with yourself, part of a review is to talk about the FILM, not just whether you liked it or not. You're being lazy, Quint.
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Sue me! Jesus. That's the last time I write a review without going to IMDB first to make sure I get an actor's past filmography down pat so I don't get roasted in talkback.
I've seen Carpenter's The Thing a hundred goddamn times. I own the DVD, I even have 3 or 4 lobby cards from that movie. I just failed to make the connection. And yes, I have seen They Live as well.
I've even been in his presence. I worked as an extra for a day on the next Natalie Portman flick Where The Heart Is. I saw Mr. David on set and was all "Where do I know that guy from?" I made the connection when I was a table away from him at lunch. Yeah, I recognized him as Mary's Dad, but that's because he looks like his character in Something About Mary when he's just being himself. If I had seen him with heavy parka on, then I would have probably said to myself, "Hey, you know what? I think he was in The Thing."
You can yell at me all you want, but when you get down to it, all I was saying in the review is that there are NO NAME ACTORS in this film. No average movie goer (or the average film geek either) is going to go, "Hmm Pitch Black. Maybe... oh wait, Keith David is in it! Hell yeah, here's my 8 bucks!"
I'm sorry for the fuck up, but it's not that important! What I was saying in my review isn't changed by me forgetting the name of a character actor. Albeit a really cool one.
-Q
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Jan 02, 2000 7:25:22 PM CST
Who's Kieth David? Whould somebody tell me who's Keith David!!!?
by sexualchocolate1
Yeah, so what!? I don't know who the hell Keith David is, and I'm proud of it!!!!
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FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD! tell us something about the movie, please. So you believe we would enjoy the movie the less we know about the plot, huh? Fine, I can respect that, but let the readers make that choice NOT you. All you have to do is give prior warning before offering up plot material. If the reader has enough faith in your judgment then they'll trust you to blindly sheperd them into seeing the movie. I don't. I wouldn't put THAT much faith in Roger Ebert. I wouldn't put that much faith in Gene Siskel's ghost! OK, maybe I would. (You don't know who Keith David is... well, ok. That's bad and all, but I think this is a far more substantial problem).
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Yes, I could have gone over to IMDb. I did. But, is that supposed to be some sort of excuse or something? That kind of reasoning is almost as bad as those people who said Devlin and Emmerich's GODZILLA (Harry... I hope you're listening) was a good movie because its sole purpose was to be a fun movie. WHAT??? Does that somehow make it the Black Hole of cinema-the laws of the universe don't work there, so it's mysteriously invulnerable to criticism and all logic known to mankind?
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Hello? I can't believe nobody mentioned that he was in this recent blockbuster. Who could forget the picture of him in an afro? "Don't make me open a can of whoop-ass on you..."
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Althoug I don't beleive that I saw a classic what I did see was a wondeful movie though. I saw it in New Jersey at a test screening and I agree the less you know the more surprised you'll be the film was just a great ride with wonderfull characters. Two words Vin Diesel, he's going to be a action GOD.
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First let me acknowledge that those wishing to see Pitch Black should not read this review, except if they want to be privy to an extensive analysis of a film which in my view ,contrary to the opinion of Harry , Moriarity,& Quint (of AICN
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