DVD News

Harry's DVD Picks & Peeks - 4th wk of Mar 2011: JACKSON COUNTY JAIL, CAGED HEAT, GALAXINA, STAND BY ME & much more!!!

Published at: March 21, 2011, 11:41 p.m. CST

Hey folks, Harry here with another DVD column. Got carried away with a couple of the titles simply because I love them so much. But hey, that will happen from time to time. Kind of amazed I finished this early tonight, the day began with me biking 9.3 miles and doing some pretty serious core & oblique torture – when I started this column, I doubted if I’d have the energy to finish it today, but the power of some of the titles gave me that geek surge I needed to power through aggressively. So here we go, as usual the pics and links will take you to AMAZON where you can learn more on the titles – and if you feel intrigued enough you can purchase and home delivery is coming soon. Meanwhile, a small portion of that price you pay goes to help keep this column going, which is awfully awesome of ya, so thanks. Here’s the column… Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011





JACKSON COUNTY JAIL / CAGED HEAT

Why is this double feature at the top of this week’s selections? Because go no further – you have found the buy of the week!
JACKSON COUNTY JAIL is an extraordinary film. I mean that seriously. It wants to be just pure exploitation, but it’s too fucking great of a movie for that. Starring an older Yvette Mimieux as a PR Lady who has simply taken too much shit from the PR MEN’S CLUB that demeans and marginalizes here at every turn, so she gets offered a dream job in New York. She decides to drive from Los Angeles to New York. See the country. Have a transformative experience. What she gets… is JACKSON COUNTY JAIL! This is a sweaty brutal mean film, before it turns to something entirely different. You should be aware that there is a brutal rape in this film… but having said that – past that moment – and it is a huge turning point in the film, the movie becomes a crazier, sweatier, less arty BADLANDS. JACKSON COUNTY JAIL features a sexually powerful and full on hot bad boy version of Tommy Lee Jones – and when you see the film you’ll totally get it. We don’t get many romantic leading men in Tommy Lee Jones’ career, but this one… this is just tremendous. I absolutely love this film, I was introduced to it at QT FEST quite some time ago, and watching this while I was at the hospital really took me back to that screening in a wonderful way – but beyond that singular experience – I loaned this Double Feature DVD to a really awesome guy I met in Rehab, FREDDIE THE MEATBALL! And Freddy dug both these movies and I couldn’t have been happier to have loaned them to the Hispanic personification of SHREK! I shit you not.
NOW – that’s a taste of the love I have for JACKSON COUNTY JAIL – but now we’re getting into Jonathan Demme’s MASTERPIECE: CAGED HEAT! Ok – now while JACKSON COUNTY JAIL may flirt with exploitation by fingerbanging in the front seat of Daddy’s car – CAGED HEAT fucks Exploitation in it’s cut-off wearing ass! If you know a single film from Jonathan Demme’s career it is CAGED HEAT. This is a women in prison film that just boils like Cagney’s WHITE HEAT, but has a whole other level of unmistakable fucking hotness that sears not just from the violence, audacity and balls on these ladies… but from just how fucking hot in that crazy film those prison bound beauties are! The gender politics in this thing are just completely off the hook. But then the sheer awesome performance of Barbara Steele (Bava Goddess Alert!) as the uptight puritanical warden is just… a stroke of fucking genius! This is by no means a realistic film set in the real world. This is an underground comic book that has the grit of Spain Rodriguez’s TRASHMAN, but just centered around amazing women. A film that empowers the tits it puts on display! God I love this double bill from SHOUT and the genius guiding light of ROGER CORMAN!!!




GALAXINA / CRATER LAKE MONSTER BluRay

You may have noticed over the course of AICN’s history that I’m a bit obsessed with sex, hot babes and odd fetishery. If you wish to avoid raising a child with my noticeable drawbacks, I’d recommend hiding GALAXINA from your child’s upbringing. BUT – if you do – you should be kicked in the vag! Because films like GALAXINA and BARBARELLA and FLESH GORDON – all of which I saw at an entirely inappropriate age range – along with films like HEAVY METAL, DRESSED TO KILL and when I saw GALAXINA at an Austin Drive In – my father told me that the star, the beautiful Dorothy Stratten, who was a Playboy Playmate of the Year in 1980, was murdered, which made the movie solemn. To see a beauty like Dorothy’s in my 9th Summer and to know there was some evil bastard in the world that would actually murder this. It freaked me out. But it made me appreciate the transient nature of Beauty in this world and to appreciate it for when we have it – and that we have GALAXINA – a fantastically hilariously inept sci-fi pervy epic – well – it is by no means as great as BARBARELLA or FLESH GORDON, but I do prefer it to 2069: A SEX ODYSSEY.
CRATER LAKE MONSTER could very well be the worst movie on BluRay right now. I need to look over my collection and see if I can confirm that!




THE TOURIST BluRay

This is a Lemon Meringue of a film. I actively enjoyed the film while it played, but as soon as it was over, I found myself struggling to remember what it was I liked about it. I’ve seen it twice now – and here I am with the same problem. It wants desperately to be a Hitchock adventure twisty turny story – but it just feels so contrived, so completely without weight that at the end weighing of the film – it just comes up not being ROMANCING THE STONE or TO CATCH A THIEF or NORTH BY NORTHWEST or THE 39 STEPS… you know the type of film – and if you do, watch one of those instead, they work far far better and will be a more fulfilling experience for you. Seriously.




YOGI BEAR BluRay

My wife and her father took off the other day to check out Jellystone Park in-between Austin and San Antonio to check on the viable nature of it for a Family Reunion location – and I stayed at home and watched this on BluRay. Jellystone Park would be so much cooler if Yogi Bear was really there doing his Yogi things. BUT – this film stylistically just doesn’t work for me. Yogi & BooBoo were fine. Hell, I’d go so far as to say that they made me incredibly happy. But the mixing of those designs with regular humans and real world photography – just seems to be entirely missing the potential awesome of making a photo-real stylized CG – RANGO-esque YOGI BEAR film. Shit, I’d die to see WACKY RACES handled in this manner! I’d literally shit myself if it was handled properly. But this is perfectly fine family entertainment. It isn’t “CARTOON” enough for me. But man, Aykroyd did a great job nailing Yogi! Justin Timberlake’s BOOBOO was just amazing! Oh – and the Looney Tunes CG Animated Wile Coyote & Roadrunner cartoon, RABID RIDER? Total shit! The premise of doing these characters in CG is fine. The designs are not the problem. It’s that they’ve found amazingly impotent flaccid writers with no real since of meanness which must be in play for the true awesome of the “BEEP BEEP” to be unleashed.




SKYLINE BluRay

I live tweeted my first viewing of SKYLINE while I was in the hospital… but last night I screened it again for my dear friend Diana for MOVIE NIGHT – On first watch, I found myself disliking all of the characters, getting angry at the stupidity that these characters were epic at demonstrating. But upon 2nd viewing, and with the idea of presenting this film as a fun way to kill some time in a house with around 10,000 titles to choose from… well, I sold it to Diana really well. You see… Here I go:
This film isn’t about you or me at the literal dawn of the end of everything as we know it. It’s about these people. And these people represent why I have no desire in moving to Los Angeles. It isn’t that everyone is like them, but there’s enough. Enough to make it a city to visit, but to not hang my hat. But these douches, their crazy fancy condo… they’ve got a picturesque view on the 50 yard line Sky Box with a view of the end of man. And because these characters are so fucking stupid – you’re going to see some pretty amazing shit. Because these dumbshits are really fucking dumb. And just like in all those movies we love, about teenagers at summer camp getting slaughtered… well, you don’t mind seeing these people die. I mean, it’s ok. These are the people that drive talking on cel phones. They’re the ones that talk loudly in movies. They’re the type that stand on either side of you on an elevator and carry on a conversation literally in one ear and out the other as you stand there wishing you were anywhere else. Yeah, these are those people.
But that’s ok. Because The Strause Brothers are crazy fucking talented insane effects monkeys – and for $11 million, they made a science fiction end of the world movie with a slasher film cast – and a crazy fucking COMIC BOOK GEEK CRAZY FUCKING ENDING That just makes me get giggly and dream of what next. The sequel would be astonishing. My problem is that everything in this film wasn’t just handled in about 30 minutes, then I had an hour and 20 minutes more picking up exactly where this film ends. Because I fucking love where it goes. And if you go in wanting to have fun with a trashy cheap film that has a cast that is ever so slightly regrettable… well, hold on, because when you find out what these aliens are here for. You’re going to either scream bullshit because you’re an asshole… or you’re going to go, “NO FUCKING WAY! THAT RULES!” because you’ve been properly raised as a geek that gets it.




STAND BY ME (25th Anniversary Edition) BluRay

When I’m watching this film, it feels like my favorite Stephen King film made. I know that isn’t true, because I fucking love THE SHINING too much. And there’s SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION & GREEN MILE and just CREEPSHOW and all that other awesome… but STAND BY ME is just a film that makes me dream of hanging out with my dad when he was a kid. Because that’s what this film is, my dad’s childhood – if he had a story about hiking to see a dead kid’s body. And that rules. Watching River Phoenix in this is very hard. I remember watching this and knowing that River Phoenix was going to be Leonardo DiCaprio – but more awesome. A really great film. Nice to see a really good BluRay for this! Here’s the extras:
Audio Commentary with Director Rob Reiner
"Exclusive Featurette "Walking the Tracks: The Summer of Stand By Me including interviews with Stephen King and Rob Reiner"
25 Years Later: A Picture-in-Picture Commentary Retrospective with Director Rob Reiner and Actors Wil Wheaton & Corey Feldman
Stand By Me Music Video




ERNEST Double Feature: ERNEST GOES TO CAMP & ERNEST GOES TO JAIL BluRay

A while back I reviewed a triple feature cheapo DVD of ERNEST films – but mainly talked about the sheer enormous genius of ERNEST GOES TO JAIL – as being amongst the bestest things ever. Well – I still feel that way, and while noone necessarily needs to see every pore of Jim Varney’s face with quite the clarity of 1080p… for ERNEST GOES TO JAIL on Blu Ray to exist – well, it’s a great gateway film to show your kids before showing them Warner Brothers prison flicks from the 50’s and 40’s --- along with Lon Chaney Jr’s INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN and just being the coolest dad on the block! I’m not kidding.




ANASTASIA BluRay

I’m usually a BLUTH whore – I love his work, ever since I saw XANADU and SECRET OF NIMH – I just always root for him. But I don’t like ANASTASIA. The character design just felt lazy and the adaptation of the story was so bland to me. It needed to be more… intense. More frightening. BIGGER. The designs just didn’t capture me, not enough character to the faces. But for those of you that love this movie, they’ve done a really great job with the Blu Ray. Here’s what you get:
Audio Commentary by Directors Don Bluth and Gary Goldman
Sing-A-Longs Anastasia's Music Box Favorites
Russian Stacking Doll Game Anastasia's Seek and Find Bartok the Magnificent
How to Draw with Don Bluth
The Making of Anastasia Anastasia: A Magical Journey
Making of "Journey to the Past" Music Video
Music Video: "Journey to the Past" by Aaliyah
Trailers and TV Spots




ROBOTS BluRay

While this is no WALLY & PEPPER, I really did like ROBOTS quite a bit! Mainly it comes from a lifelong love of robots – and while William Joyce’s robots are a bit cutesy for my robotic fetishistic love – there is something about them that reminds me of the characters in the Fleischer Color Classic BALLOONTOWN – and that is good enough for me. You don’t get a ton of extras, but this rather crazy ride of a film is enough. But the extras are nothing to snort at, you do get:
Audio Commentary by Blue Sky
Aunt Fanny’s Tour of Booty
The Voices of Robots
Music Video
Three Deleted Scenes With Optional Commentary




ELIZABETH / ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE BluRay

Now – both of these have been prior released on BluRay – but if you haven’t picked them up, the price break is pretty killer. $20 for the two – and these are exquisite films. I absolutely love sitting down and watching these as a double bill. You know, for those days where you’re just in a Cate Blanchett mood. You just need an awesome actress to kick your ass! That’s what this set is all about.




OUR HOSPITALITY: Ultimate Edition BluRay

Simply brilliant. 3 years before THE GENERAL – you just get to see Buster kicking it in all gears. This is a great film. Watched it in rehab and laughed out loud and often. That’s as it should be with Keaton. The extras are finely detailed at the above link, but if you know KINO – you know how fucking badass they are on these titles. You get an alternate released cut of the film. And so much more. Keaton is one of the greatest geniuses that we’ve ever had to grace the emulsion of cinema. This is one of his greats.




FIREBREATHER BluRay

From the creator of Aeon Flux, comes this comic adaptation to a feature length animated film that’s all kinds of kaiju fun. The premise is pretty insane. Apparently this one giant monster fell in love with this one human girl – and somehow they consummated that love, and I have to say… I’M REAL FUCKING CURIOUS ABOUT HOW THAT WAS PULLED OFF… but ya know, if you’re a geek you go with these sorts of leaps of logic and plausibility, because all of a sudden we’ve got this young Peter Parker kinda aged character where he begins manifesting new powers, begins falling in love, meets his dad, is thrown into lava and there’s more! The kinetic sense of motion that Peter Chung brought to Aeon Flux has actually been translated into CG animation, and I have to say – it’s quite viscerally cool. I dig hell out of it.




IL PROFUMO DELLA SIGNORA IN NERO (THE PERFUME OF THE LADY IN BLACK)

YES! A fucking awesome Giallo in the mail is one of those things that you just thank your early pulp deities for in some manner helping to inspire a great genre like this. First off – I love what the femme does for a living, she’s an industrial chemist. She has crazy child time visions of pretty crazy stuff that occurred with her parents. But half of the awesome of a Giallo is just Seventies era Italy – the buildings, the clothing, cars and especially the women and their hair. But this film is one I recommend not reading up on. Let what happens, happen. It is totally worth it. I promise. This rocks.

Next week I’ll be looking at TANGLED, BLACK SWAN, MAD MEN: Season 4, BluRay of DeMille’s THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, FAIR GAME, SCREAM 1,2,3 Blu, SOYLENT GREEN Blu, IMAX: HUBBLE, KING OF KINGS Blu, TOPSY TURVY Criterion Blu, Complete Rathbone SHERLOCK HOLMES on BluRay!, THE SECRET OF NIMH Blu, THE RESIDENT, THE MIKADO Criterion Blu, THE TIMES OF HARVEY MILK Criterion Blu, AGAINST ALL ODDS Blu, INFERNO Blu, TEEN WOLF Mahler Ray, ANYTHING GOES, THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD Blu, MESRINE PUBLIC ENEMY #1 Blu, THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT Blu, DOGTOOTH Blu, THE TERROR Blu, DEMENTIA 13 Blu, MACHINE GIRL Blu, ANTONY & CLEOPATRA, CAPONE, ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN Blu, POOR PRETTY EDDIE Blu, EMBODIMENT OF EVIL Blu, GENIUS OF DESIGN, ATTACK FORCE Z Blu, HULK VS THOR, I VINTI, TEENAGE PAPARAZZO, THUNDER IN THE CITY, SCAR and IRON BODYGUARD.

Readers Talkback

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  • March 21, 2011, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Post 0

    by HEADGEEK

    Here's today's DVD Column! I really go on about some of em!

  • March 21, 2011, 11:47 p.m. CST

    test

    by xega

    testing 123

  • March 22, 2011, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Our Hospitality

    by Hercules

    One of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

  • March 22, 2011, 12:07 a.m. CST

    Harry...welcome back man..but pace yourself you just got out of the hospital

    by Wilford_Brimleys_Diabetes_Rage

    To get this thread kickin who would you all cast in a Caged Heat Remake.... i say Christina Hendrix as the warden with Eva Green, January Jones, Jessica Biel, Amy Adams Heather Graham Rosario Dawson and Scarlett Johannson as the inmates

  • March 22, 2011, 12:52 a.m. CST

    Hulk versus thor

    by BERSERKR

    Is this a née one??

  • March 22, 2011, 12:54 a.m. CST

    i meant new one, damn iPhone :p

    by BERSERKR

  • March 22, 2011, 1:04 a.m. CST

    FOX gave Bluth & Goldman carte blanche...

    by justmyluck

    ...for ANASTASIA, but it was trying to balance many things. Broadway musical. Historical epic. Fun family entertainment. Romantic enough for the girls. Classy enough for adults. A villain modulating between kooky and evil. Jafar and Iago from Disney's ALADDIN were likely the template, but I think they could have cut most of Rasputin and the bat out until the very end and it might have actually worked better. While not bad, per se, it's interesting to wonder what ANASTASIA -could- have been, considering the talent and expense lavished on it.

  • March 22, 2011, 1:44 a.m. CST

    Lol at your LA rant

    by pushthebuttonmax

    More of that, please! So fucking true.

  • I can't stand the guy, but he's a heck of a BooBoo Bear.

  • March 22, 2011, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Kicked in the vag? Really Harry?

    by judderman

    Did you have to add that little taste of misogyny? I mean it's not like geek culture isn't misogynistic enough already.

  • March 22, 2011, 2:48 a.m. CST

    Harry's odd comment on River and Leo

    by blackhole4140

    "I remember watching this and knowing that River Phoenix was going to be Leonardo DiCaprio – but more awesome."... huh?

  • March 22, 2011, 4:33 a.m. CST

    Skyline was the worst film I haven't walked out of

    by antonphd

    but I'm glad I didn't because that ending was worth enduring the rest of the film. A truly awesome ending that made me want to see what happens next. But I don't think I could watch the film again. Not even to see the ending again. I have it burned in my mind anyway. I watched Skyline before flying home from Hawaii. It's part of the memories.

  • March 22, 2011, 4:53 a.m. CST

    Alien movies

    by Daniel2010

    Skyline = 7/10 Battle: LA = 8/10 Both are highly enjoyable.

  • March 22, 2011, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Anastasia feels like Disney

    by Tomarru

    With Bluth movies you always expect something different from what Disney would offer, you expect something darker and more foreboding, or at least a devotion to creating an atmosphere. Anastasia though just feels so sterile and lazy, all the characters are cut outs, and it doesnt help that it's a princess story.

  • March 22, 2011, 5:37 a.m. CST

    Galaxina

    by joliet_jake1978

    So Harry's Dad used to take him to the drive in to watch soft core porn... That explains a lot...

  • Fuck that idiotic noise.

  • March 22, 2011, 6:07 a.m. CST

    jellystone park is real?

    by Bouncy X

    i'm not american so forgive me if i actually am wrong but i always thought jellystone was just a play on words/spoof for yellowstone park? or was harry just trying to be funny and saying jelly instead of yellow? i am blonde so thats possible. :P

  • March 22, 2011, 6:14 a.m. CST

    Meringue does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    "This is a Lemon Meringue of a film." "Justin Timberlake’s BOOBOO was just amazing!" "you should be kicked in the vag!" "GALAXINA – a fantastically hilariously inept sci-fi pervy epic" (with a star who was later murdered) "which made the movie solemn." Choice Harryisms from this week. Try to unravel the mysteries of the words spilling from this guys brain at your peril...!

  • March 22, 2011, 6:25 a.m. CST

    Crater Lake Monster...

    by Bodacious_Crumb

    I'm embarrassed to say that actually frightened me as a child when I saw it in the theaters although I cannot remember a single moment from the film.

  • March 22, 2011, 6:42 a.m. CST

    As a lifelong Oregonian...

    by caruso-stalker217

    ...I feel compelled to watch CRATER LAKE MONSTER at some point before I die.

  • March 22, 2011, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Stand By Me is amazing, because The Body is amazing

    by shiekybaby

    In my opinion, it is the closest King has ever come to an American short story classic. One one level its the story of 4 boys on an adventure, on another its about the loss of innocence, and at its core its about love and bonds that never break. It's layered and deep and just flat out entertaining!

  • March 22, 2011, 7:07 a.m. CST

    Stand By Me is pure perfection

    by Spandau Belly

    Somehow I had this on VHS but never replaced it on DVD, so I'll probably grab the bluray. Perfect movie.

  • March 22, 2011, 7:48 a.m. CST

    "These are the people that drive talking on cel phones."

    by Astronut

    Harry, I love you man. But if that's your definition of hipster douche bag then we're all in a lot of trouble -- almost everyone talks on cell phones while driving in their car. With the exception of the activity being banned in certain townships/cities... you see this everywhere.

  • March 22, 2011, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Anastasia is horribly underrated

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    I remember Disney cravenly reissuing The Little Mermaid to theaters THE VERY SAME DAY 20th Century Fox released Anastasia. Fuckers... And the film doesn't get the credit it deserves. It was the first animated movie made in 2:35.1 since The Black Cauldron a dozen years earlier, which has been adopted by many 'toon features since. Yes, it's a ridiculously sanitized version of historical events, but who sees a CARTOON looking for historical accuracy? (see also the ridiculous complaints about Pocahontas) The animation is excellent, the songs mostly great (the villian number is just plain goofy), the voice work fine, and the story compelling. Too bad that Titan A.E. essentially ended up killing Bluth's career, as he was finally getting back on track following a series of 90's stinkers like A Troll In Central Park and Rock-A-Doodle.

  • March 22, 2011, 8:57 a.m. CST

    the woman in black is in white.

    by vulturess

    havent seen the movie. but why have a movie called "the woman in black" and show a woman in white on the movie poster/dvd cover?

  • March 22, 2011, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Can't you guys post an opinion without insulting people?

    by vorlonkosh

    Just because you don't agree doesn't justify the rude and tasteless comments. Take the reviews for what they are, if you don't agree, tell us why you did or did not like the film. Insulting the reviewer...and his wife (despicable) isn't cool. It takes guts to insult someone under the protection of anonymity, doesn't it?

  • March 22, 2011, 9:39 a.m. CST

    But vorlonkosh...........

    by Astronut

    .......... you see, that's what people like choppa do. They insult people and rip them apart at the drop of a dime, even when unprovoked. It's a way for them to amuse themselves because they are lousy at amusing people in person. The Internet makes it easy! They can take all the time they need to carefully craft their attack and then sit back without any repercussions. Guarantee you this would not be the case if the attacker was in the same room as the attackee (versus hiding safely behind a monitor). Welcome to the Net

  • March 22, 2011, 9:42 a.m. CST

    "But man, Aykroyd did a great job nailing Yogi!"

    by vin_diggler

    That statement paints a very disturbing image in my head. Your a sick sick man Harry!

  • March 22, 2011, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Next week you should start to review "Teen Wolf" then cut right to "Embodiment of Evil"

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    I've had this idea for next year's "Teen Wolf" BNAT screening where the film starts to play and every 30 seconds there a couple of frames of John Holmes' cock inserted.

  • I'm sure even Harry would get that. If Harry is willing to include his personal life and his personal fetishes in his reviews than I'm sure he can take a few absurd jabs about eating lemon meringue pies. And yes I would make jokes about Harry eating lemon meringue pies off his wife's vag if I ever meet him in person. I'm sure that Harry would expect nothing less from The Choppah.

  • March 22, 2011, 10:13 a.m. CST

    Oh and Astronut, where did Harry say anything about hipsters?

    by THE_CHOPPAH

  • Completely agree with Harry on this one!

  • March 22, 2011, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Thanks for being early!

    by donkingkong

    I look forward to this column more then anything else on a... TUESDAY

  • March 22, 2011, 10:40 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Choppah, I for one was amused by the lemon meringue pie jape. But i've always been a fan of the old 'pie in the face' humor! Still don't have a clue what Harry was talking about tho. If I ever watch THE TOURIST will I now be thinking about lemon meringue pie? Or even worse, next time I eat lemon meringue pie will I be thinking about Harry guzzling it off some Korean girls' naughty bits? Think i'm just gonna have to avoid lemon meringue pie altogether for the foreseeable future.

  • March 22, 2011, 10:41 a.m. CST

    "Robots" is creepy

    by Ben Addiction

    There are references to human pop culture, but no humans. Did the robots kill them all and take over? Did we slowly become extinct and the robots live on, comically mimicking their dead masters for all eternity? Seems kinda dark for a kid's film.

  • March 22, 2011, 10:54 a.m. CST

    "He's getting away."

    by Juggernaut125

    Funniest, awesomest line delivered in 'Ernest Goes To Jail'. I laugh quite loud even thinking about it.

  • March 22, 2011, 10:56 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    ben, you'll have to wait for ROBOTS BEGINS the prequel. Where the lovable tin tricksters wipe out humanity and boil our bodies to make lubricating fat for their joints. Apparently Dreamworks held test screenings at kindergartens last month.

  • March 22, 2011, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Dorothy Stratten will be forever missed!

    by BeanGrud

  • March 22, 2011, 11:05 a.m. CST

    BTW - Skyline SUCKED

    by BeanGrud

    so glad I didn't waste my $10.25 at the theater on that crapola.

  • March 22, 2011, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Harrys time machine

    by Papa Lazaru

    I remember watching this and knowing that River Phoenix was going to be Leonardo DiCaprio – but more awesome. I assumed by reading the above Harry has some sort of time machine. Hey big guy. Can I borrow it when you're done

  • March 22, 2011, 11:13 a.m. CST

    I was a big fan of STAR 80

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    I Bet Beaks and Harry are begging for a reboot of that bad boy. they can go gritty this time, especially that corpse raping scene. It was a little diluted for mainstream audiences looking for a feel good playboy film, but not to worry. I have the cutting room floor footage and whenever i have a ladyfriend over, I put it on to entice her. Nothing like images of bloody unconsensual sex and a few roofie coladas to get us in the mood. We laugh and laugh and then fuck like retarded seals speaking of bloody intercourse, who else likes angel heart?

  • March 22, 2011, 11:27 a.m. CST

    Still, nothing beats Irreversible for sheer date-night titillation.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    I save it for those special nights when I leave the butter in the fridge.

  • March 22, 2011, 11:31 a.m. CST

    "a sexually powerful and full on hot bad boy version of Tommy Lee Jones"

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    Damn, Harold, I hope you have some socks handy.

  • March 22, 2011, 11:53 a.m. CST

    River vs Leo...........uh

    by CullenisPrime

    By the end of River's life he already thrown his career away. Can anyone name 3 good River movies? Running on Empty, Stand by Me, and maybe explorers (but that is a stretch).

  • March 22, 2011, 11:56 a.m. CST

    cullenisprime

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    Last Crusade, Sneakers, My Own Private Idaho, I Love You to Death, The Mosquito Coast. And, yeah, Explorers is good. CHOPPED

  • March 22, 2011, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I've lived all over America so I've got a good perspective

    by UltraTron

    on things. I can say there's great folks all over the country including la. I've never lived in one place long enough to become all elitist about the place I was living. There are definitely some materialistic douche bags all over the world but if you buy into generalizations like that then you are no better than a racist simpleton. You must all cultivate non-local thoughts of a better world. Matter is shaped by our thoughts. Create a better world by expressing the main morphogenic state of love. You are quantum beings- not this crude matter. I have now lived all over so I'm always encountering you humans and hearing how you despise people who are not like yourselves. This is because our immune systems react before we know why. I'm an aquarius and I like everyone and everyone likes me. You will all evolve and say constructive things instead of negative generalities. You are all matter shaped by thoughts. Think good thoughts and remember that the quantum universe is infinite possibilities. This is why we see so much badness and crap. Stop being distracted- dream and shape a perfect world. So skyline had some douchey looking folks. How bout that last ditch effort of mankind air battle and subsequent Galactus epic level nuke shot where you see Galactus walk out of a nuke cloud. Ok so it was a spaceship but it's like something I never want to see happen for sure

  • March 22, 2011, 12:55 p.m. CST

    A THING CALLED LOVE directors cut is pretty underrated too

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    as is LITTLE NIKITA fuck you all for thinking river phoenix was untalented.

  • March 22, 2011, 12:58 p.m. CST

    River Phoenix was a great young actor.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    How about some fucking respect, children? Sadly, he never got that legendary role James Dean or Heath Ledger had before they flamed out for good. It's just too bad you ignorant fucks on these boards don't have any cinematic reference points beyond duh duh duh DARK KNIGHT!

  • March 22, 2011, 1:01 p.m. CST

    the_choppah.....I was wrong...but..

    by CullenisPrime

    you have to admit his career wasnt doing well toward the end. And This Boys Life kills all those films acting wise... But do admit I forgot about my own private idaho. The others he wasnt really front and center

  • March 22, 2011, 1:03 p.m. CST

    I'd say Running on Empty and This Boy's Life are pretty fucking equal.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

  • March 22, 2011, 1:05 p.m. CST

    cullenisprime

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    regardless of his drug use, the man brought his A-game to the screen each and everytime, unlike his former BFF depp. chuck sheen could learn a thing or two from river phoenix about being a functioning addict. the general public didnt even know of his heroin hijinks until it was too late.

  • March 22, 2011, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Furthermore

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    Phoenix had the druggy stimga about him...not so for Leo. Obviously the stigma was phoenix's fault, but still you can't deny how incredible he was.

  • March 22, 2011, 1:09 p.m. CST

    the_choppah........

    by CullenisPrime

    I always thought he was going to be more of what Depp or Downey Jr turned out to be than Leo. They were 2 different actors in my opinion.

  • Leo and River ran a little deeper, River perhaps moreso.

  • March 22, 2011, 2:16 p.m. CST

    River deep, mountain high motherfucker

    by Roger Moon

    It's time for the colonic. I'm ready for the tube. Team Breezy!!

  • March 22, 2011, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Crater Lake Monster isn't the worst on bluray

    by SilentBob X

    I've been told that Repo: The Genetic Opera is the worst. I HAVE however, seen Crater Lake Monster, and while not good, it's far from terrible. And btw, the cover has the monster wrong. It's a plesiosaur, should have fins on the front, not legs.

  • March 22, 2011, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Plesiosaurs had cocks the size of Iowa silos

    by Roger Moon

    They managed to miss that detail too.

  • March 22, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Hey Harry, already ordered...

    by eustisclay

    ...Jackson County Jail. Saw it years ago at the drive in. But am curious about Black Oak Conspiracy, saw where that's also due out today on a Corman double feature. Worth getting? I know it has Jesse Vint(MaconCounty Line), always liked him and his brother. Anyway, looking forwars to read what you have to say about Capone(and we know what scene you'll be talking about).

  • March 22, 2011, 3:07 p.m. CST

    OUR HOSPITALITY

    by sherlock_junior

    one of the most iconic badass deadpan comedies ever made! The grace under pressure of Keaton in shots where he uses a derailed trainwagon as a boat, or where he hands over his fully packed pistols wardrobe are just timeless (even modern) pieces of comedy. Keanu reeves stole this joke for the Matrix :P

  • Really? Didn't Stand By Me come out at least four years before Leonardo di Caprio was in anything? Or did you come to Stand By Me Late?

  • March 22, 2011, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Timberlake probably had help

    by sunwukong86

    They probably altered his voice in post

  • March 22, 2011, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Wouldn't it be nice if the dvs/blu-rays were actually reviewed?

    by Monroville

    Harry, I can respect the effect a movie has on you... even the morbid descriptions of Tommy Lee Jones. But is it too much to ask to get at least a single sentence on what the video quality of these things are like? Sure, the movie may be good, but if the transfer is crap, why bother? <p> And for as much as I have a soft spot for GALAXINA, let's face it: it is a terrible movie. How can you have a Playboy Playmate of the Year and NOT get her naked?!? In fact, is there ANY nudity in the Rated-R GALAXINA? How can you have "a fantastically hilariously inept sci-fi pervy epic" without any real sex or nudity? Hell, I think SHEENA had more female nudity than GALAXINA! <p> And SKYLINE? I can't say I ever had a problem with the characters, as I kinda realized that they were trapped with the conception of them "viewing things out the apartment windows"... can't really do that if they are traipsing about in the sewers. Even so, if you're gonna make a "rah-rah, feel-good, EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS type movie", you have to do at least one thing: let the humans win. <p> Granted, the movie did (supposedly) 4 TIMES it's budget in profit, but it could have made even more if that stupid ship didn't regenerate after getting hit from a NUCLEAR MISSLE (among other things, like aliens travelling across hundreds of light years so they could steal our... brains? Really?). I think it was at that point that I realized that it was all hopeless and the human race was screwed (much less the characters) and I mentally checked out. <p> Even so, as a suggestion for future DVD articles: could you please give us at least a hint as to how the video looks? That would be appreciated.

  • March 22, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Oh, and belated SPOILER ALERT

    by Monroville

    BTW, Gregory Peck gets shot at the end...

  • March 22, 2011, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Chopper, sic balls!

    by Reckoner

  • March 22, 2011, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Stand By Me

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    Watched that again recently. The first hour is still really good. But I had forgotten how much it descends into a big-budget A-Team episode by the end...rather dull extended shootouts with clunky editing. I guess that marked the moment where Rob Reiner's destiny lay in movies that were more about action than drama, for much of the next decade. I was so hopeful when My Own Private Idaho came out that it heralded the return of both River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves as genuinely dramatic actors. But it was a false dawn for both.

  • March 22, 2011, 6:01 p.m. CST

    That Skyline review was fucking pathetic

    by MattmanReturns

  • March 22, 2011, 6:35 p.m. CST

    IDIOTS who talk on cels while driving

    by frank cotton

    deserve TO BE SLAGGED; hell, they deserve to be DRAGGED OUT OF THEIR CAERS AND BEATEN MERCILESSLY, especially those with passengers. caerless, me-centered fuck-ups...go ahead, defend them, show us which team YOU'RE on

  • March 22, 2011, 6:36 p.m. CST

    that would be CARS, and careless, damnit! shit gets me wound up...

    by frank cotton

  • March 22, 2011, 6:41 p.m. CST

    hell, while i'm at it

    by frank cotton

    same goes for the other losers, the ones that are so dense, and braindead, that they tailgate the pizza guy. just how stupid are you motherfuckers? you KNOW that i'm looking for someplace, that i may have never been before, and am HIGHLY LIKELY TO TURN AT A MOMENTS NOTICE, and yet you STILL ride my ass like like a homo at a gay bar - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? do you want to be in an accident, to go to the hospital, TO BE SUED? i just don't get it. i KNOW most people are idiots, but how can you be that dumb, and live?

  • and dont get me wrong. I dont think Inception is very good...but if i loved so much of the trash you loved then id probably beat off to inception every night.

  • March 22, 2011, 8:27 p.m. CST

    melgibsoncalledmethenword = correct

    by MattmanReturns

    Nail on the head right there. He basically praised Skyline (in a very underhanded way), yet couldn't stay awake in Inception, which even the haters would admit is a far superior film.

  • He probably also tailgates the pizza delivery guy

  • March 23, 2011, 8:25 a.m. CST

    ahem

    by smylexx

    what does any of this have to do with the death of Elizabeth Taylor? Hmmm?

  • March 23, 2011, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Harry's River vs. Leo comment

    by codereed

    I believe Harry was trying to say that when he first watched Stand By Me he thought River would go on to great success at the box office and as an artist. Then years later, he had similar feeling about Leo's future career, but to a lesser degree when he first saw his work. It wouldn't have been so confusing if Harry actually knew how to write.

  • March 23, 2011, 9:39 a.m. CST

    astronut - talking on cell in car IS douchey

    by AKA_Gern_Blanston

    Man, one of my really good friends was killed last year due to a dumb fucking teenage cunt of a girl that ran a red light because she was too busy talking on her phone to pay attention to the road. therefore... FUCK all the douchebags who talk on their cell phones while driving! FUCK all the douchebags who think it's okay, everyone does it, its not a big deal. And DOUBLE DOG FUCK the colossal douchebags that think texting on the phone while driving is the way to go! FUCK EM ALL!

  • March 23, 2011, 9:41 a.m. CST

    HARRY

    by AKA_Gern_Blanston

    Wish you luck - 9.2 miles, though. Don't do too much too fast. I'm rooting for ya to one day show us a svelte picture as mindblowing as the thin Peter Jackson from the set of the Hobbitt pic that hit the net a few days ago. That would be kick ass for ya!

  • March 23, 2011, 9:46 a.m. CST

    frank cotton

    by AKA_Gern_Blanston

    One thing I love about being in Texas - if some prick is tailgating me I can just tap on the breaks. Either he stops, or he hits me. And in Texas, if you hit someone from behind, it's automatically your fault. Period. I could always put his insurance money to good use.

  • March 23, 2011, 9:49 a.m. CST

    can you say CASH IN?

    by AKA_Gern_Blanston

    The 90's Matt Salinger Captain America movie is coming to blu ray in a director's cut (as if any cut could make that film good...didn't work for Daredevil directors cut)

  • March 23, 2011, 10:43 a.m. CST

    What's the deal with the Strauss Bros. and douchy actors?

    by Playkins

    AVP: Requiem was ruined by the same thing. Why is it that these directors can't figure out that people don't like people they come so far from identifying with?

  • March 23, 2011, 11:24 a.m. CST

    "fantastically hilariously inept..."

    by Phloton

    well, you got one word right. Galaxina is not good at all. I too was brought to inappropriate movies when I was a lad. The best example being when he brought me to see Schrader's Cat People at the impressionable age of 12.

  • March 23, 2011, 12:31 p.m. CST

    video quality

    by fullrotor

    Harry went on about how great Welles' "The Stranger" looked on public domain blu-ray when every other reviewer on the net talked about how it was dnr'd to the point of looking plastic, maybe was even upconverted from an SD master, etc. So I dunno if I'd take his word even if he did talk about that more. No offense, Harry. Well, maybe a little...

  • March 23, 2011, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Yogi Bear hurt my fucking head.

    by Somerichs

    my kids didn't even like it all that much...

  • March 23, 2011, 1:12 p.m. CST

    The River/Leo comment?

    by double_l88

    What are you talking about? That does not make any sense.

  • March 23, 2011, 1:35 p.m. CST

    kicked in the vaj ? your folks must be so proud

    by axemurder

  • March 23, 2011, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Fuckity-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuckity...

    by rogmel

    Good god, expand you vocabulary! Do you get paid per usage of the word "fuck" or are you just so lazy that you won't take the few precious seconds to think of other words to use. You sound like a 14 year old.

  • March 23, 2011, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Stand by me!! The blu-ray at last!!!

    by MovieGeekBlog

    I adore this film! The word classic gets over-used these days. Any anniversary is an excuse to re-release any piece of junk that’s more than 20 years old. Most of those films carry that cheesy sense of nostalgia for the 80s, and that’s sometimes enough for them to appropriate a cult status. But when you look at them closely, you’ll find that they have aged quite badly, either technically (terrible matte paintings, visual effects or synthesized music) or stylistically (Their look, the clothes and the hairstyles people are wearing and the corny dialogue nobody seemed to mind so much at the time). However “Stand by me” has the advantage of being a period piece (It is set in 1959) and its simple, subtle and honest depiction of the 60s not only hides away the cheesiness of the 80s but also adds a sense of timelessness. The film is 25 years old, but it could just as well be 35 or 45 … and yet it still relates all of us as if it was made yesterday… I loved it at the time, for its sheer sense of fun, adventure and mischief and I love it today for its poignant look at the way we were… This film is a real little gem , a small masterpiece, dare_I-say, that works because of its charming and honest simplicity. You could easily argue against some of the clichés and the non-very-subtle depiction of Gordie’s family and the ever-too-perfect-dead-older-brother or obvious lines like “The town seemed different: smaller“, but it would be like arguing that Snow-White is a two-dimensional character, or that Nurse Ratched in “One Flew Over the cuckoos’ Nest” is an unbelievable bitch: basically it would be pointless. Reiner’s film is a true undeniable classic, a nostalgic look at the way we were, in a time of innocence when friendship really meant something and when the most important question was “if Mickey’s a mouse, Donald’s a duck, Pluto’s a dog. What’s Goofy?“ read the full review on my blog: moviegeekblog.wordpress.com

  • March 23, 2011, 8:04 p.m. CST

    I Saw Skyline In Theatres

    by Autodidact

    There was a very old retired couple in front of me. The movie was so bad that I actualy felt pangs of discomfort on their behalf... imagine if it could possibly be your last trip to the movies atfter seventy years of and you fucking see Skyline. Christ what a piece of shit. I can't believe you'd watch it for a second time Harry. You are insane.

  • March 23, 2011, 8:05 p.m. CST

    Stand By Me... So Great

    by Autodidact

    First saw that movie when it was new and I was around the age of the characters in it. Probably the greatest movie about friendship between young boys.

  • March 24, 2011, 9:28 a.m. CST

    I Was The Only Person At Drag Me To Hell

    by Autodidact

    It was pretty cool until I started really hating on the movie. Drag Me To Hell = Me Not Get It.

  • March 24, 2011, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Crater Lake Monster scared me too

    by GhostDad

    Looking back, I think it was the fact that as a kid this was maybe the lowest budget movie I'd ever seen, and not having the standard Hollywood fit and finish, shooting it with non-actors on shitty stock, really made it seem more realistic than other movies I'd seen at the time. There was also "The best is more terrifying than your worst nightmare!" written on the box, and for months I would consider renting this, and then be afraid that the the monster would be too scary. I was scared of "The Galaxy Intruder," and had nightmares about "Zombi" because of the video box. I will say, though, David Allen's stop motion dinosaur still looks pretty awesome.

  • March 25, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST

    I agree playkins. Skyline dares to have a guy with

    by UltraTron

    a trendy scruff on his face and gay man tattoos as it's lead. I could almost forgive that but then the movie asks you to swallow a well off Mexican and standard everyday businessman. At that point I checked out. I was like. No way these people could possibly exist in real life.

  • March 25, 2011, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Cobra-Kai

    by maxjohnson1971

    Shouldn't that be Rise of Robots?

  • March 26, 2011, 5:51 a.m. CST

    Harry obviously doesn't know his audience.

    by Raggles Wimpole

    "If you know a single film from Jonathan Demme’s career it is CAGED HEAT." Seriously? What about 'Philadelphia' and 'The Silence of the Lambs.' I think those are a little more well-known than 'Caged Heat.'

  • March 26, 2011, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Just viewed Skyline

    by david starling

    I really expected something awful based upon what people were saying (as bad as Housesitter or Highlander 2), and to my diappointment it wasn't. I watched a swiftly put-together piece with a bunch of unlikeable characters throwing themselves against each other in love and hate, and trying to avoid being taken by something far deadlier than their own stupidity. The effects were very good, the 'moments' were very-well done, the film zoomed-through fast, and the ending was complete bollocks, but at the same time made sense; the aliens had an advantage over us by nicking our brains, and in the end humanity fights back, with a human brain that's put into a creature, and decides it doesn't like it. Actually, as bad as I've kinda explained it, the ending was brilliant!! Also, compare this movie to Battlefield Earth, which I've tried to watch all the way through and can't, partly because of how tedious it is, and partly because of the fucking 45-degree angles everything's shot at (if you can watch this movie all the way through, you'll need a neck brace, and the telephone number of a good injury lawyer!!). And also compare it to the Strauss brother's previous directorial effort, AVP:Requiem, and film that was so bad I had to watch it again, drunk(!!), to re-appraise it - and it was even worse!! Still, I remain disappointed - I enjoyed it, and so did the missus. Oh, and without a hint of sarcasm or moment-stealing punchlines, I enjoyed Battle:Los Angeles as well - it was fun, action-packed, and for all the cheeze, it delivered. So now I definately have to go see Suckerpunch when it opens here in the UK next weekend, and make my own mind up!!

  • March 26, 2011, 8:04 p.m. CST

    No, I like decent movies too!!

    by david starling

  • March 26, 2011, 8:04 p.m. CST

    No, I like decent movies too!!

    by david starling

  • March 26, 2011, 8:07 p.m. CST

    by david starling

    But I'm reminded of whats "good" and whats "bad" to a subjective/objective opinion. I don't sit there dictating to other people they should watch, and I'm not about to start either!! Thats being a wanker pure and simple. I just watch whatever I want to watch, and I don't sit being scared in case my reputation is going to be soiled. Hey, at the end of the day its just a movie - I'm not trying to look cool or impress other people.

  • March 27, 2011, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Monsters

    by david starling

    You're right Braindrain. On another note, I saw Monsters this afternoon, and loved it to bits!! The sleeve was extremely misleading - much to my delight. What I saw was a slow-burning story of two people, going somewhere but unsure (as was I) of what they were going to find. I know I'm raving, and I know a lot of people will probably be disappointed by it, but the thing just sucked me in. The murky tail-off to the credits sealed the whole tale. Monsters is a distended, unusual snapshot of something that I only thought John Wyndham could come up with - so its to my delight that I found it.

  • March 29, 2011, 11:03 a.m. CST

    ultratron: You know that's not what I meant.

    by Playkins

    Was the "douchy actors" thing not clear enough for you? I don't remember making race or class coments. No- what I mean is exactly what Harry described- people whom in the real world you'd think are pretty boys that behave like jackasses.

  • April 2, 2011, 9:25 a.m. CST

    ooohhh harleeeee david sonnnnnnnnnn

    by Crimson Dynamo

    galaxina was the shit on cable when i was a kid. and it had avery schreiber too