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Proof there is a God' [Re: Oscars]
Greetings, citizens! Robogeek here, still recharging from BUTT-NUMB-A-THON. While El Cosmico has been spirited off to the nether-regions in preparation for his Second Coming (which I prognosticate will coincide with the new year), I thought I should share some Good Tidings of Great Joy.
This morning's USA TODAY (http://www.usatoday.com/life/enter/movies/movie146.htm) reports that the new producers of the next Academy Awards telecast, Richard and Lili Zanuck (producers of "Driving Miss Daisy," among others), ARE ELIMINATING THE DANCE NUMBERS which have plagued the awards show in the past.
Our good friend Roger Ebert (who will share the balcony with Harry once again this month, btw) is quoted in the article, calling this a "great idea" while pointing out that it was an annual suggestion of Gene Siskel's to improve the show.
Now, I don't know about you, but I have prayed for this very thing to happen for years, and am tempted to propose the Zanucks receive an honorary Oscar for finally doing it.
First of all, cutting the dance numbers will shave almost half an hour off the broadcast, which ran over four hours last year -- a record. (In fact, since 1968, the Oscars have consistently gone over their scheduled three hours.) Secondly, it will eliminate what has consistently been one of the most embarrassing and confoundingly horrible spectacles to annually infect countless televisions. Thirdly, I suppose, is that this will save the show some money.
In my memory, the only decent dance number ever on the Oscar show was the virtuoso 1996 performance by STOMP. It was an inspired tribute to foley artists, and had the percussive dance ensemble accompanying classic film clips in perfect sync. It was absolutely brilliant -- and actually made sense.
The following year, for some inexplicable reason, Michael Flatley and his pseudo-Irish step dancers performed some convoluted tribute to film editing WHICH MADE NO SENSE. Maybe they thought no one would notice.
The Oscar dance numbers don't merely wallow in stupidity, but often cross the line into outright offensiveness. Last year's bizarre tap dance "interpretation" of John Williams' "Saving Private Ryan" score inexplicably summoned to mind machine gun fire. Unfathomably sick.
Anyway, this time we'll be spared -- hopefully for good.
The 72nd Academy Awards will be presented Sunday, March 26, at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles.
And somewhere, Gene will be smiling.
- robogeek@robogeek.com
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THOSE DANCE NUMBERS WERE THE WORST!!!!!!! Debbie Allen, sit your ass at home and watch the show!
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Nah...But it's good to see those dance acts going. Although I wouldn't mind our Harry and Roger doing a little number. They must be incredible tapdancers. That would be worthy of a good videotape. (must shut up now)
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One of the most shocking things I read this past year came when I perused the nominations for the Emmy Awards. There, listed amongst the other nominees was the following: OUTSTANDING CHOREOGRAPHY - 71st Annual Academy Awards
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Jesus...those dance numbers were the reason that I don't watch the Oscars sober (I leaned it from Jack Nicholson)...well, actually, that's not quite true. The alcoholism is why I don't watch sober...but the awful dance numbers make pretty good excuses, at least. Jeez...their only redeeming quality was the parody "Lord of the Dance" routine that Mike Myers did on the MTV movie awards. -Loki
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i don't care what they say. i think he was brilliant. definitely better than billy crystal or whoopi goldberg, or, as they're considering this year, rosie o'donnell(shudder)
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I think they should have Howard Stern host it. Short of that, Chris Rock. And if all else fails, why not ask the entertainingly inebriated man who's always sitting in the front row: Jack Nicholson. He'd be perfect!
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If Chris Rock hosted, he'd give Hollywood a piece of his mind and then some! I could just imagine him making comments about Jar Jar Binks, being John Malkovich (and I mean being him, not the movie title), asking where HIS Oscar is for Lethal Weapon 4, and more stuff that is probably funnier.
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Bummer.
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Pretentious, overacted crap.
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Dec 13, 1999 6:15:07 PM CST
Whoopi Goldberg MUST NOT host the Oscars next year. Four hours
by golgo-14
Get anybody to host that fuckin show. Even Letterman would be better than hearing "I hate Republicans!" for four friggin' hours.
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Dec 13, 1999 6:30:54 PM CST
Hey KS, Showgirls was better than that Aliens rip-off Starship T
by golgo-14
The only good thing about Starship Troopers was Denise Richards.
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Dec 13, 1999 6:32:57 PM CST
Debbie Allen is a talentless hack, although I'm sure she's a ver
by agentcooper
Something I've wondered since last year: How do you choreograph an improvisational tap number that doesn't have anything to do with the music being played? Pass the hat around now, and take up a collection for Ms. Debbie Allen. Hope she's still getting those residual checks from DIFFERENT WORLD, cause Oscar is finished with her talentless hide. Thank you ZANUCKS. Oh, and Letterman WAS great. They should get him again. "Would you like to buy a monkey?"
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Don't sit through them...I don't know if it's the same where you live but you can either watch the whole boring show...commercials galore...crap awards, crap dance numbers etc or just wait for the highlights show. If you don't get the highlights show in your country then TAPE it and fast forward through all the crap. Such an easy solution but so hard to get it through to the masses.
Anyway...If you are looking for something to giggle at while surfing then check out Harry's adventures on the set of MTV's Celebrity Real World at www.gunnlace.com/rw/real.htm with a new episode every week. Just for fun of course ;-) -
In the music category. They got rid of one of the categories that South Park's score would go under. Disney's pissed as well because they can't submit their Tarzan score, either. They got rid of the best score in a musical, I think. They still have best dramatic score and best original song. They say they got rid of musical score because it was originally created because of Disney, anyway, and South Park and Tarzan would be the only two in the category this year. I say that's crap and maybe they just didn't want South Park in there. (Sure would have been intersting!)...actually, I say it's crap because, for example, if only two people ran for president, they wouldn't just not hold the election, would they? South Park and Tarzan can't be the ONLY ones in that category, can they...does anyone know of any other movies with musical scores?
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although the term is meant in the loosest sense, I suppose you could count "Muppets from Space" and "The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland" as 1999 films with a musical score. Maybe eliminating this category makes some sense; although many family-oriented musicals have been made in the 1990's, the only three that made good use of the format in terms of enhancing the story-telling(IMO) were "Beauty and the Beast," "Babe," and "Cats Don't Dance." "Anastasia" had some nice story-packed songs as well, but it had other story problems outside the music which kept it just shy of my list. All the rest ... just seem to have a 'let's stop here and have an uninteresting song' feel to them (ONE highlight song among six crap songs does not a 'musical' make)... Again, though, just an opinion! ^_^
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Hmmmmmmm, ALIENS is a STARSHIP TROOPERS ripoff? I dont recall any parodies of WWII propoganda in ALIENS. I dont recall any Nazi imagery in ALIENS. I dont recall verhoeven's usual theme of fun vicarious violence (done best in TOTAL RECALL) in ALIENS. I dont recall sarcastic predictions of the future in ALIENS. I dont recall themes of evolution and the developments of races in ALIENS. ALIENS was just a search-and-destroy action movie (a great one, but still just that). STARSHIP TROOPERS was another brilliant sci-fi satire by Mr Verhoeven. ROBOCOP, TOTAL RECALL, and ST are all masterpieces (ugh, i used the M word again). ALIENS is just a great action flick. Dont see CGI aliens and think youve got the whole movie pegged. Not when Paul Verhoeven is behind the camera. As for Oscars, who cares? Its not like theyll nominate the best film since APOCOLYPSE NOW (not counting Episode 5) for anything. Yes, Im talking FIGHT CLUB. I say, Stop Being Perfect!
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Just to try to avoid massive flames from people who think I just dismissed their favorite Disney film out-of-hand, I want to clarify that I was speaking strictly in terms of the music (which will still probably cause me problems with some folks). I liked "The Lion King;" I liked 'The Circle of Life.' I didn't care for any of the other songs, though, and I feel they bog down the story rather than support it. Ditto with "Aladdin;" I like the style of Aladdin (liberally 'borrowed' from "The Thief and the Cobbler" such as it is); I love the effects animation in "Aladdin." The music? ehhh. Maybe 'A Friend Like Me' (the wonderfully comic visuals accompanying this song were a treat), Maybe 'A Whole New World,' where Jasmine finally allows herself to open to Aladdin. The rest of the songs just stop the movie cold. See, it's not like you have to have a song every eight minutes; that's not written anywhere. If a song supports the story and can reveal character motivation and insight AS WELL as entertain, then I say "great!" If the song does nothing more than narrate the visuals, or worse yet, contributes nothing whatsoever to the experience of watching the film, I say "why?" Take some of the older, more "classic" Disney films, many of them have just two or three songs, and a lot of those songs have just a verse or two, 'cuz that's all they need. Even as recently as "The Great Mouse Detective" you find this to be a common trait in Disney's feature films; heck, "The Rescuers Down Under" has no songs at all; yet if it were made just two years later, it almost certainly would have had at least four or five (ah, but we got lucky on that one). I don't mind a musical, but a story should have a reason to be told in that format; perfect case in point: "The Little Mermaid," perhaps the movie that really sparked the modern faux-Broadway boom, yet the genius of Ashman & Menken's super-tight weaving of story and music still makes the movie shine. (and just in case anyone wonders, it wasn't on the list in my previous post 'cuz it was released in 1989, and I was talking '90's musicals). I did leave one absolutely criminal omission from my list, however; I didn't include "The Nightmare Before Christmas!" ohhh, the shame!! seriously! but to hopefully make up for it in part, I will say that this was perhaps the purest example of a story that could be effectively handled ONLY as an animated musical; and boy, I'd sure like to see more of those -- see, I'm not against musicals, I just want story departments/scriptwriters to be more discriminating in what aspects of the story get musical treatment, and to not be afraid to have only one or two songs if that's all that is needed. I think "Tarzan" was an immense step in the right direction in this regard. And there's a bunch of animated films coming down the pike from several studios that look to finally lend some variety to the available palette.
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Exactly what percentage of the academy are actually directors or writers, as opposed to clueless actors and such? In the words of George C. Scott, the Oscars are nothing more than a "2 hour meat parade"!!!!!!!!!
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First off, the greatest host line of any Oscar telecast is Chevy Chase's "Good evening, Hollywood scum." (or something close to that) Personally nothing would be funnier than Chris Rock making those bastards squirm in their seats for 3+ hours. Remember last year when he referred to Whoopi as "Oprah"? And also called the audience the Million White Man March? How about sticking it to Hollywood where it hurts. Some people "can't handle the truth" and that's why it was refreshing to see Letterman a few years back. Maybe the Oscars used to be worthy of respect (well, not really, Citizen Kane didn't win and that was back in '41), but even when there's a year with some justified awards it still smells phony. Who are these cocksuckers that vote in this? Can we get some younger demographic in the voting block? I think Christina Ricci has just as much of a right to vote as fucking Gregory Peck. For all of you that dispised Fight Club or Eyes Wide Shut, there's definitely some technical and/or acting nominations that are justified, and probably won't happen. Because these people are still for the most part pretty old. I'm not saying The Straight Story is going to sweep, but I doubt a movie with Kevin Spacey jerking off in a shower and revealing a 16-year old's tits is going to walk away with the golden dude...on the bright side, if The Green Mile does win best picture, it will probably win the fewest total awards of any B.P. in the last 30 years. Here's to parity!
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You didn't like Rob Lowe singing with Snow White 10 years ago? (Heavy sarcasm intended). Glad to hear this news.
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"Best Song" used to make sense, when there were actually a selection of musicals to choose from. Now all we get are the A/C synth-ballads during the end credits (usually sung by Canada's shame, Celine Dion). If there was any justice in the world, "South Park" would rightfully get several nominations for "What Would Brian Boitano Do?", "Uncle Fucka" and "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch". Let's hear Celine belt THOSE numbers oot.
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(*Actual 1000 may vary.) YES! I have been to the website in the future http://www.websiteinthefuture.com and now know who will be nominated and win at the 72nd Annual Oscahs! (In the future, they'll be called Oscahs, not Oscars.) Here we go, winners denoted by asterik: BP: *American Beauty, The End of an Affair, The Green Mile, The Insider, The Straight Story - BD: *Mendes, Jordan, Darabont, Kubrick, Lynch - BA: Jim Carrey, Russel Crowe, Richard Farnsworth, Tom Hanks, *Kevin Spacey - BAs: Annette Benning, *Julianne Moore, Hilary Swank, Janet McTeer, Kate Winslet - BSA: Cristopher Plumber, Michael Duncan, Ving Rhames, *John Malcovich, Haley Joel Osment, - BSAs: Cameron Diaz, Jewel, Catherine Keener, Samantha Morton, *Sissy Spacek. Freddie Francis wins best cinematography for SS, Alan Ball beats out Charlie Kauffman for Original Screenplay, and Darabont wins for best adapted. I could tell you more, but who really cares about the other awards? Oh yeah, Toy Story beats out TPM for Best Special Effects. And "Uncle Fucka" wins in the Bizarro Universe for Best Song.
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Hey, easy on Aliens, buddy! I enjoy the hell out of Starship Troopers myself, but it's not better than Aliens just because it has satiric elements in it. Frankly, it's a little too cartoonish (i.e. the combat tactics) for me to get that involved in the satire. The very broad stuff, like the parodies of propaganda films, were quite successful. The rest of the satire was more hit and miss. Aliens is far more involving to me simply because it is a better-crafted movie with stronger characters. It wasn't satirical, but it did have a point of view about the future in keeping with the first Alien flick. It portrayed a future dominated by ruthless, inhumane mega-corporations with strong allegiances to military development. Not too far from the truth, right? And, if I'm not mistaken, I seem to recall that Cameron intended the flick to be a somewhat allegorical version of his experiences in Vietnam. Dunno if it really succeeded on that level, but I can see the concept. It is pretty much just an action flick in my mind, but it happens to be the best hardcore action flick ever (Raiders of the Lost Ark being the best adventurous action flick).
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>>>> How far deep in your ass did you have to go to dig out THAT one? He must've served in Howard Stern's company, huh?
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(Introducing Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon)
They're probably pissed off about somthing
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