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Massawyrm craves the taste of cold steel and the sweet release of death while watching JUST GO WITH IT

Published at: Feb. 11, 2011, 6:14 a.m. CST by AICNStaff

Hola all. Massawyrm here.

I do believe that Adam Sandler’s films are getting progressively worse. At this point I find it hard to tell; like that kid who gets his ass kicked on the playground every god damned day and doesn’t know for sure whether the beating was worse yesterday or the day before. What I do know is that something broke inside of Adam Sandler and somewhere along the line he stopped trying to be a comedian and just began coasting as one. It is one thing if someone’s trying and you just don’t find them funny; it is something else entirely when they spend years just phoning it in.

You’ve seen JUST GO WITH IT before. And I’m not just talking about the plot or execution. This is the classic “a bunch of famous friends on vacation” movie that is so appealing to make because you get a fat check to sit on an exotic beach for two months and half ass your way through a scene or two a day. I’m sure this was a hell of a lot of fun to make, but it is fucking miserable to watch. It is an endless stream of ham-fisted gags that feel like they were half baked on the page to begin with before being handed to a cast that just didn’t give a shit enough to try to sell it.

Based upon a classic French farce, Walter Matthau fans will know it best as a remake of CACTUS FLOWER, the 1969 comedy with Ingrid Bergman and an incredibly young Goldie Hawn (for which she won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar.) The story revolves around a guy (Sandler) who discovers that the easiest way for him to get laid is to fake being married, that mysteriously forgets his long running winning streak when he meets a 23 year old super vixen (Brooklyn Decker) only to fumble the ball when she discovers  the bogus wedding ring in his jeans pocket. Rather than come clean or construct a much more plausible lie, Sandler invents a fake wife and cons his nurse (Jennifer Aniston) into playing the role in order to convince the vixen that a divorce between the two is imminent. When she subsequently drops the ball and reveals that she has kids, Sandler cops to being a father and everyone has to go on vacation together in order to keep the stupid little charade going.

The lies begin getting so deep and convoluted that the audience has a hard time keeping up – or even caring – so when the story’s big twist comes around, it feels awkward and unbelievable, even by the movie’s own standards. Worst of all, the film doesn’t seem to care much about its own conclusion. Despite spending two hours setting up uncomfortable situation after uncomfortable situation, it checks right the fuck out when things are about to get interesting, wrapping up by explaining the climax in voice over. It knows exactly what its ending is supposed to be, despite not bothering to set up anything plausible to even support it. So it just goes there.

To its credit, JUST GO WITH IT is occasionally funny – but not by design. Every joke that works feels like a bit of ad lib. If you put comedians in front of a camera, they will eventually be funny. Ordinarily, that would be enough for me to shrug this off – but when this film isn’t scoring with ad lib, it is failing miserably with its written gags. There are bits of comedy so bad here that it will tighten your sphincter and drop your head squarely into your hands as you watch them so painfully play out. You will squirm in your seat as each unfunny scripted gag dies before your very eyes, like watching Lennie and that puppy in OF MICE AND MEN.

There is nothing even remotely redeeming about this film; it feels less like a real movie and more like an extended parody meant to flesh out his FUNNY PEOPLE universe. I hope everyone who worked on it had a great time in Hawaii – because they’ve no doubt earned themselves a little time in hell for what they’ve done to comedy. Fuck this movie.

Until next time friends, Massawyrm

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Readers Talkback

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  • Feb. 11, 2011, 6:21 a.m. CST

    First

    by AgentCross

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Adam Sandler makes a bad movie!?

    by Monkey Butler

    Never! <p> Next you'll be telling us that Kevin James has never been funny.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Sandler's popularity has always baffled me.

    by darthsynn

    I've never thought of him as someone I'd want to have a beer with. I'd rather punch him with a pair of brass knuckles covered in ice. Fuck him.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 6:53 a.m. CST

    adam sandler...

    by emeraldboy

    i have only seen two of his films in the cinema, mister deeds and anger management. jack was great in anger management. and i may have seen the one with the kid. john stewart is in that one. I saw billy madison and after that I gave up. same actor same role and he does the same shtick over and over. but I dont have 200 million in the bank. i really dont see why people find him funny. I never have. I couldnt watch the waterboy. and little nicky was just awful. I gave the wedding singer a go when it was on tv. but that got grating quick when sandler started his shouting shtick. anger management was very good.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 7 a.m. CST

    But those tits, those tits....

    by dr sauch

    They haunt me. I literally find myself depressed that I can never bee with Brooklyn Decker, that's what that commercial has done to me.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 7:01 a.m. CST

    And yes, Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey are dead inside.

    by dr sauch

    Could you imagine how many millions of dollars Billy Madison 2 or Ace Ventura 3 would make?

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 7:21 a.m. CST

    when farley died adam died

    by ORIONgods

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Does Sandler end up with Aniston

    by _Venkman

    if so kill her now

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Another case of Eddie Murphy syndrome!

    by Sumatran_Rat_Monkey

    EMS strikes 1out of every 10 comedic actors! Increase in paycheck = rise in Ego + too much creative control > ability to choose a good script + funny. A proven formula. Maybe Adam can dress as a gigantic fat man and say "Yes" to everything in a serious drama about nothing important while talking to animals. It could costar Cuba Gooding Jr.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 8:13 a.m. CST

    They knew this movie was going to tank...

    by Shut the Fuck up Donny

    They've been pushing this movie on Conan's show for almost two months now, by bringing on EVERY DAMN CAST MEMBER on his show--probably in hopes to generate some some interest. But every clip that has been shown couldn't even muster a cursory laugh from the audience. Hell, even when Nick Swardson was on--who you would figure would resonate more with Conan's crowd--he couldn't muster more than a chuckle from his clip. It's contrived in its plot, it's joke setups, and its punchlines. Gorgeous titties will not save this one. I still like Adam Sandler. He seems to still have fun doing what he does. But he needs to take a step back and re-evaluate what kinds of films he wants to do. The films he's been doing lately are trying to encompass too many different movies at once (raunchy comedy? romance comedy? family comedy?) and ultimately become none of them.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 8:16 a.m. CST

    More Plausible Lie

    by BlueDjinn1

    Not having seen (or planning on seeing) the movie, seems to me that a far more plausible, and *far* easier to pull off lie would be either: --My wife died recently, I just can't bring myself to give up the ring, or --We divorced recently, and I hold onto the ring as a reminder of the type of woman *not* to get involved with ...or something like that. Neither of which would require any of this other crap. Granted, in either case she would find out that he was lying eventually, but that's the case here as well.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 8:18 a.m. CST

    I don't get all of the love for Big Daddy either

    by SithMenace

    It's always listed in the top 3 by Sandler fans, but I thought it was just painful to sit through. The kid was annoying as hell, and anything with Rob Failure Schneider in it should be banned.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 8:32 a.m. CST

    The Difference Between Sandler and Murphy

    by Aquatarkusman

    Murphy was once funny.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Sandler's movies may stink...

    by mypalfish

    but he is one of the nicest guys in the business. Even at the Super Bowl, he would sit and talk to the smallest radio station (and not just for a minute or two) and was friendly both on and off the air. Compare that to someone like Jamie Foxx, who would walk by "radio row" over and over again so he would be seen but blew everyone off. And Brooklyn Decker is one of the rare models who actually looks good in person (seen her at some tennis tourneys). Usually, they are sickly thin and have really exaggerated facial features, but she is naturally gorgeous and doesn't cake on makeup. She would have been a much better choice for Transformers 3.

  • What? Give it credit for something it doesn't do on purpose? Whatever!

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Sandler always casts hot chicks as the love interest...

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    ...just so he can write in scenes where he makes out with them. Bastard.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:05 a.m. CST

    A better lie...

    by DadTimesTwo

    "I found it on the beach and am taking it to lost and found." Boom. Done. No need for the movie.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:43 a.m. CST

    hey cut the guy a little slack

    by spidercoz

    Don't you think he feels shitty enough knowing his career peaked 20 years ago on SNL? I mean, it's not like every movie he's done since has been a vainglorious attempt to reclaim a little bit of that lost popularity. If that was the case, all his movies would star the same people and have basically the same story. Yeah, me neither.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:48 a.m. CST

    ANOTHER SHIKSA GODDESS FANTASY

    by BringingSexyBack

    Pass.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:51 a.m. CST

    yeah but...

    by The_Crimson_King

    Brooklyn Decker is extremely fucking hot, if she got naked in this it would make it worth seeing

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:52 a.m. CST

    GROWN-UPS MADE ME CRINGE

    by BringingSexyBack

    I felt embarassed for everyone in that movie. Normally, I avoid Sandler's stuff like the plague. But Chris Rock was a big draw, so I gave it a shot. Holy shit, I don't know how you can put Rock and Kevin James together and not get an ounce of funny. Horrible.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:53 a.m. CST

    I do love 'Punch Drunk Love' though...

    by JediRob

    ...and while you could say it's all the Director, Sandler does own that role. I'm always hoping that side of him shows up again. There was shades of it in Funny People. I just don't know why he keeps doing these stupid movies. Certainly he doesn't need the money.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:55 a.m. CST

    RUPERT EVERETT IS SPOT-ON ABOUT ANISTON

    by BringingSexyBack

    I hope she continues to suffer humiliation from Brangelina and dies a lonely bitter spinster.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 9:56 a.m. CST

    WHY CAN'T HE JUST STAY AT HOME WITH HIS MARCIA BRADY LOOKALIKE WIFE

    by BringingSexyBack

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Brooklyn Decker went to my high school

    by D.Vader

    Too bad I had already graduated.

  • Damn right. Whatever happened to the demented genius of such other "bad" movies like Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore? Everything just feels "safe" from him now.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:35 a.m. CST

    ADAM SANDLER...

    by PatientZer0

    ...has never been funny. Ever. That's a fact. I read it. I wrote it down then I read it. In fact, his whole group of "comedians" are almost completely worthless. Comedy died a little in the 90's while he and his group of contemporary ass clowns fooled people into thinking that repetitive self referential smirking and funny voices was comedy. End of line.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:43 a.m. CST

    I saw Big Daddy in the theater when I was 17

    by D.Vader

    Because the theater wouldn't let us in to see Eyes Wide Shut, and even then I could tell it was a sappy, crappy story. That said, I do like yelling out "Scuba Steeeve! DAMN YOOOOOU!" everytime I stub my toe.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Didn

    by D.Vader

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Didn't know Krista Allen was in Anger Management

    by D.Vader

    Might have to check that out now.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:44 a.m. CST

    "...but he is one of the nicest guys in the business."

    by D.Vader

    Well that does count for something in my book, I will say.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:45 a.m. CST

    What did Rupert Everett say about JAnniston, BSB?

    by D.Vader

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:52 a.m. CST

    VADER

    by BringingSexyBack

    Everett was lamenting how he had no chance, no consideration for Hollywood roles since outing himself ... yet talentless hacks like Aniston get to make disposable crap like Just Go For It. Looka heah: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2010/12/jennifer-aniston-slammed-by-rupert-everett.html

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Sandler's best film is.....

    by thot

    ...The Wedding Singer. The right mix of Sandler off-kilter comedy and relatability. I like most of his stuff, though lately it's been a mixed bag. I've always loved the bizarro Waterboy. Kills me. "She's the debbul!!"

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Sandler and Dennis Dugan - a recipe for mediocrity

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    Sandler and his go-to director ( who DID direct his early breakthrough hit Happy Gilmore ), seem to get lazier and lazier, and unfortunately so does the audience. And Sandler's goofy guy next door personality (and as someone stated does not do the "movie star" thing, in fact, he acts as surprised as anyone that he's a multi-billion dollar star) makes him damn likable. So people make movie after movie a big hit.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Rupert Everett said....

    by thot

    ...that Aniston's films were generally 'flops' and that her work was 'tasteless'. When you analyze cost/boxoffice, Aniston fares quite well overall. As far as 'tasteless' goes,..well...that's a matter of opinion.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 11 a.m. CST

    MUBARAK IS GONE!!!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Some good news finally. Allah Akbar and all that.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 11 a.m. CST

    Waterboy is one of his best, I'd say

    by D.Vader

    It always got me pumped up to go out and hit someone before a soccer game in high school. "Duh duh duh. I'm the waterboy. Duh duh duh, I got a wooden spoooon!"

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 12:25 p.m. CST

    dadtimestwo, I had the same thought when I saw the ads

    by jim

    Maybe the scene reveals his name inscribed in it or something else that makes telling her he found it unbelievable. If not, he could have told a half-truth. He could have told her his buddy convinced him to wear it because it increases his chances of picking up girls, makes him more approachable, less threatening, whatever, but that he decided not to wear it because he thought it was sleezy. Geez, you'd think a guy so practiced at lying would be able to come up with a better lie.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 12:38 p.m. CST

    How does Aniston keep getting work?

    by Han Cholo

    Bitch has not appeared in a good film ever. Hell, she could do a Leprechaun sequel and she'd still get headlined in a big budget film. Who is this chick fucking?

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Massawyrm, why do you torture yourself reviewing crap like this?

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    Life's too short. I don't even want to read the review.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 12:59 p.m. CST

    I thought Grown Ups was funny; there I said it

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    So, sue me!

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Worst Adam Sandler movie?

    by BuffyFaithtribyeah

    I really loved him in Little Nicky.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 2 p.m. CST

    I think Click has to be his worst movie.

    by Keats

    You go in expecting a goofy Adam Sandler comedy and it turns into this ridiculously sappy and depressing melodrama. 50 first dates was also kind of like that. Punch Drunk Love could be another contender for his worst, as it combines the stupidity of Adam Sandler with the pretentiousness of PT Anderson. Not a good pairing. I liked Funny People pretty well, except I am coming to realize that Judd Apatow’s characters are all pretty much annoying idiots despite seeming likeable at first glance. I think I became officially sick of Judd Apatow while watching Get Him to the Greek. I’m not sure if Apatow even officially had anything to do with that film, but even if not it was still a Judd Apatow movie.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 2:09 p.m. CST

    I liked this plot when it was an episode of Three's Company:

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    and Jack Tripper had to pretend to be married so he could hook up with the hot blond chick with the big boobs so he enlisted Janet to be his wife, but then things got confused when Chrissy showed up and it's revealed Jack is living with two girls and this got further complicated when Mr Furley threw a monkey wrench into the works by telling the girl that Jack is gay.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Watch it make $150 million though...

    by Andrew Coleman

    Fucking hate movie going audiences. I'm going to give my money to Eagle this weekend. At least that movie looks like it attempts to be a good flick.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 2:14 p.m. CST

    It wasn't terrible... not great, of course

    by Heckles

    Saw it earlier this week, and 'Just Go With It' seems like what Adam Sandler considers to be a "grown up" movie. You have the dick and fart joke mentality which he rode to the bank in Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison, but it's slightly more responsible. Or tries to be. He's a successful doctor, not a burnout hockey player. Over-the-top, manic outbursts are replaced with snarky comebacks and passive aggressive one-liners. I agree that the best character interaction does seem like Sandler and Aniston are ad-libbing. It helps you get past Brooklyn Decker's terrible acting. As the lies and misunderstandings get piled on and on and on, I expected Mr. Furley to walk out and add to the tension. Not a terrible flick, a passable date movie, but Sandler has lost whatever it was that made him famous. It's like when child sitcom stars get older and are replaced with younger kids on the show. Sandler is Ben Seaver, Jennifer Keaton and Rudy Huxtable combined. He's too old and younger comedic actors have replaced him. Shit happens. Anyway. Last thing about the movie... once Aniston rocks a bikini you forget about Decker. What would have made 'Just Go With It' truly great is if Dave Matthews picked up a coconut with his ass-cheeks. Oh wait...

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Not translating to film...

    by Baron Von Hugenpannts

    As a teenager watching Sandler on SNL and then to Billy Madison & Happy Gillmore I was a fan. But the last 7 years, his movies for me have been bad to mediocre not counting the ones he has done outside of his production company. The weird thing is when I see him on late night shows like Conan he still comes off as pretty funny to me but it certainly isn't translating to his newer movies. He must still have a fanbase though, these movies have been critically panned but the results-Grown Ups (162 mill. gross), Chuck & Larry (119 mill. gross), Click (137 mill. gross) speak for themselves, people are actually paying to see these movies.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 3:34 p.m. CST

    "once Aniston rocks a bikini you forget about Decker. "

    by xsikal

    Please turn in your man card. :-P Aniston was barely attractive back in her Friends day. Brooklyn smokes her in every possible way now. I am obviously not going to watch this movie, as it looks awful, but there is still a part of me that hopes that Sandler at least ends up with Decker in the movie, rather than 'realizing what he's had all along' in Aniston's character, a 'plot twist' that would make me want to shoot myself.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Sandler's movies

    by brandonbreaks

    Sandler's films are definitely getting worse. I hated Grown Ups. I knew that Just Go With It was going to be weak & I have no plans of going to see it, buying the Blu-Ray, or even pirating it. However, I don't think Sandler's movies have always been dirt. I liked The Wedding Singer. I loved Grandma's Boy, in which I think he was involved in the production. To me, Little Nicky is a classic. It's my favorite film w/ Sandler. Happy Gilmore was pretty damn funny to me. Billy Madison, 50 First Dates, Longest Yard, & Waterboy were average; nothing great. Zohan, Bedtime Stories, Click, & Chuck & Larry were all garbage in my opinion. I never watched Funny People, & have no plans to watch it. I will make sure to skip Just Go With It as well.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 6:14 p.m. CST

    buffyfaithtribyeah

    by brandonbreaks

    I agree w/ you. Little Nicky was a damn good movie.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 6:44 p.m. CST

    PLANT!

    by solvseus

    Seriously though, this is going to suck.

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Say what you want - It'll score at the B.O.

    by Mennen

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 7:23 p.m. CST

    Choppah

    by maxjohnson1971

    Wasn't that EVERY episode of Three's Company? Kind of like the episode of Gilligan's Island where they almost get off the island?

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Sandler

    by thebrendan

  • Feb. 11, 2011, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Sendler's best role was

    by thebrendan

    The Devil in Dirty Work. "We eat the pig and then together we burn!" That movie is a classic. Norm MacDonald, Artie Lange, Farley, Sandler, Don Rickels, Chevy Chase, Jack Warden, Gary Coleman...

  • Feb. 12, 2011, 12:28 a.m. CST

    Just saw it tonight. I laughed a lot. Ton of jokes.

    by AspectRatio235

    I liked the cast. Aniston and Sandler work well together, I like Nick Swardson and Nicole Kidman generates some laughs. It's totally formula but I thought it worked well enough. It's a Dennis Dugan movie, what do you expect? Personally, I would love to see Sandler in another P.T. Anderson movie..

  • Feb. 12, 2011, 7:17 a.m. CST

    "why can't he stay home with his Marcia Brady lookalike wife"

    by Warbeast24

    Dude, that's Ben Stillers wife. They starred together in Dodgeball & Zoolander.

  • Feb. 12, 2011, 7:23 a.m. CST

    fuck this movie.

    by cripeman

    Not even remotely interested. Where's Aniston's lawyer roles. She's capable of more than being Sandler's straight man.

  • Feb. 12, 2011, 8:55 a.m. CST

    I

    by maxjohnson1971

  • Feb. 12, 2011, 8:57 a.m. CST

    I'm waiting for the day

    by maxjohnson1971

    that Sandler turns into a Bill Murray or a Clint Eastwood. He just seems like the type that will make tons of dough on a lot of crap and THEN start doing some serious stuff or really exploring by doing some smaller films. Hell, the guy proved he can act in PDL and he's got to get tired of these shitty movies he's doing. Right?

  • Feb. 14, 2011, 7:25 a.m. CST

    Was forced to see this over the weekend, and was suprisingly funny

    by Bobo_Vision

    If you go into this movie expecting to want to cut yourself to ease the pain of watching this movie....you'll actually have a good time.

  • Feb. 14, 2011, 7:41 a.m. CST

    By the way, Nicole Kidman's face is now deformed

    by Bobo_Vision

    She's gone the Meg Ryan route. I never considered her hot, but now she's a plastic muppet.