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It's The End Of The World As We NOAH It (And Darren Aronofsky Feels Fine)


Nordling here.
When THE FOUNTAIN couldn't get the budget that Darren Aronofsky wanted, he decided to tell his story in comic book form.  It's a visually striking and intriguing comic, expanding the story but not losing any of the intimacy that the film achieved.  Over the year, I think THE FOUNTAIN has reached a kind of classic status, at least among Aronofsky's fans.  I think it's his best film, myself.
Well, according to a scoop at Bleeding Cool, Aronofsky's going the comic book route again to tell a story that he's wanted to tell since he was 13 years old, and it looks to be an epic - the story of Noah and the Ark.  According to Aronofsky himself, it's "a great script and it’s huge. And we’re starting to feel out talent. And then we’ll probably try and set it up… It’s the end of the world and it’s the second most famous ship after the Titanic. So I’m not sure why any studio won’t want to make it."
Indeed.  With the success of THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, and Aronofsky's own success with BLACK SWAN - almost $100 million now - I would think that a studio would definitely want to give this a look.  For now though, the comic is drawn by Nico Henrichon, and the pictures we have so far indicate something fairly large in scope, at least:
The comic will address many modern issues while staying true to the core story.  Aronofsky: "I think it’s really timely because it’s about environmental apocalypse which is the biggest theme, for me, right now for what’s going on on this planet. So I think it’s got these big, big themes that connect with us. Noah was the first environmentalist. He’s a really interesting character. Hopefully they’ll let me make it."

A promotional video is available to watch at Bleeding Cool.  Check it out.  I hope this does end up being a film.  Aronofsky has quickly become one of our most essential filmmakers, and anything he gets excited about is good enough for us to take notice.

Nordling, out.

Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 7, 2011, 1:40 p.m. CST


    by roberthorry

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 1:40 p.m. CST

    Is Steve Carrell in this???

    by Mr Soze

    Thats what she said

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 1:43 p.m. CST

    I hope he sets it in Atlantis

    by zinc_chameleon

    so as to bypass the Judeo-Christian biases that have crept in over the centuries. There really was a Flood, about 12,000 B.C.--the flooding of the Mediterranean. If I told this story, I would dress everyone up as classic Minoans from Crete, and use more advanced theology than a merely angry male God. So..Atlantis, just to make the story more cross-cultural, even trans-cultural.

  • and not a comic book of the Batman Year One script.

  • I'm dead serious. Here's the link: <p>

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Yeah, the dumbest fable in the Bible

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Hopefully he'll have the lions eat the unicorns and the dragons oversleeping. Here's hoping they go with the embryos of every species stored on the ship... because that makes total sense.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:07 p.m. CST

    I hope he explains how...

    by Zombieflicker

    he got two kuala bears, two pandas and two giraffes to show up together. And why they didn't have room for the dodo bird.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:08 p.m. CST

    The Fountain was beautiful.

    by flax

    I hope this will be as good, but with the addition of a 'timely' environmentalist message, I'm not so confident. Hopefully it won't be too preachy.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:10 p.m. CST

    "Noah was the first environmentalist."

    by buggerbugger

    Oh, do fuck off, you silly, silly arse of an arse.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:11 p.m. CST

    The Bible is full of...

    by ChezKing

    exciting fantasy epics. It would make for fascinating action/fantasy films. The Bible has giants, monsters, angels, demons, incredible superhuman battles, massive wars, and mother nature at it grandest destruction. Entertainment at it's best! ;)

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:12 p.m. CST


    by FlickaPoo

    ...what's a cubit?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:13 p.m. CST

    chezking, don't forget crazy sex.

    by FlickaPoo

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:14 p.m. CST


    by FlickaPoo

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Noah wasn't a true story

    by rahtard

    It was a myth that existed before the Jews, its the story of Gilgamesh. I really don't see why this is important. And if its modern, how could it be any better than 2012? Aronofsky has ben falling off since the Fountain. Granted he has still been making good films compared to other bloated Britts, but to his standards, he's fallen off. And this doesn't sound interesting at all.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:18 p.m. CST

    "Noah wasn't a true story"...

    by FlickaPoo


  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:21 p.m. CST

    I'd rather see a comic book version of Paradise Lost

    by Cobb05

    I just don't see what can be done with a Noah movie. God tells Noah to build the ark, He builds the ark, the animals show up, the flood comes, the dove finds the olive branch, the ark lands on mount ararat. How do you turn that into a comic book movie?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:22 p.m. CST

    There probably was a Noah folks. Hate to break it to you.

    by xevoid

    And he had a large ship, and probably did put some animals on it. And there probably was a flood, or perhaps even a tsunami due to an earthquake or some other large catastrophe that pushed this boat up high on a mountain when the waters receded. Humans were inhabiting that part of the world going back tens of thousands of years (See Gobekli Tepe on Wikipedia) and so who knows what grain of truth there is in this story. However, thats an entirely different chain of events than ALL species on the boat, and a completely worldwide flood that covered even Everest. That's ludicrous. But dont be surprised if they find an ancient boat up on a mountain somewhere...probably not too high, but high enough to indicate that a serious environmental catastrophe happened in that part of the world in some long forgotten time...

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:22 p.m. CST


    by ChezKing

    Hahaha! Too true!

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:24 p.m. CST

    What, no talking snakes?

    by SmokingRobot

    Bill Mahrer is disappointed.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Noah - Environmentalist?

    by thommcg

    I would have thought an environmentalist would be trying to avert a natural disaster, as opposed to, you know, doing nothing to avert it. Be like Al Gore saying, ahh, screw it, I've got a blimp, I'l be fine.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:27 p.m. CST

    When Can we expect the New ROBOCOP movie by Aronofsky & MGM

    by organicstudios

    Don't you think it's time that MGM sent out press information about the status of ROBOCOP by Darren Aronofsky?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Sounds Great

    by Jacob

    I think a talent like Arnofsky could make watching paint dry compelling. but I take a small issue with some earlier posts. I don't think Judeo- Christian theology counts as 'less complex' than minoan or greek theology. If the theology behind the Judeo Christian texts wasn't intellectually sustainable for the past 3000 years (roughly beginning in Iron Age II) then it would still not be poured over in volumes of theology works sine JP Gabler in 1770's. Where as by comparison, Greek and minoan theology exegesis has been a fringe discipline. it can be easy to read a myth like Noah and dismiss it off because we think of contradictions like dinosaurs and unicorns (unicorns by the way comes from a mistranslation in the KJV, which has since been amended in subsequent scholarly translations like NRSV, etc. But the text was never meant to address those problems that science brings. Modernity forced those concepts on a text that was never meant to address them. It was written in a pre-scientific era and addresses theological, not scientific claims. We can argue the truth behind the theology all day, but to start out a conversation on the Noah myth but smuggly pointing out the implausibility of the story transplants the text into a realm it was never meant to be in. It is the theology of the Noah story that endures, not issues of its plausibility. I don't deny modern Christianity has screwed up biblical interpretation with its strict adherence to inerrant interpretation, but to say that the theology of the Bible is less advanced than previous religious theologies is pretty ignorant and neglects 3 centuries biblical theology.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:28 p.m. CST

    I don't doubt it Bo Vision

    by billybigbollocks

    There is a lot of hate On this site, and lies. The shit I got when I posted I'd seen the Town at a preview was unbelievable, how dare so called film fans give me shit and call me a liar because I posted I'd seen the movie b4 general release. Fucking asswipes. I can't think of that film now without the awful feelings the talkback gave me, so fuck you ALL!

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Noah: The First Enviromentalist

    by Cobb05

    As bad a title as Captain America: The First Avenger.


  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Hopefully we'll see an Aronofsky Batman movie next

    by Cobb05

    I'd rather see that.

  • ...and Noah was the only decent guy...So I suppose that would make him an environmentalist of sorts. Me, I recycle my sins every other Thursday.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:31 p.m. CST

    We're going to need a bigger boat.

    by FlickaPoo

  • a theater near you.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Don't do it

    by Cinemastorm


  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Like Harry, Noah was a 5th Generation Eagle Scout...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...only way he could have pulled it off.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:39 p.m. CST

    the artwork looks great

    by bubcus

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Noah was not an environmentalist

    by Cinemastorm

    He did not make the Ark because he wanted to save the whales. It was to preserve what was left of non-violent humanity. The Flood was not about protecting the trees. Had it not happened, humanity would not exist at all, as they would have killed each other off. It was far worse during the time of Noah than anything we've seen in our day. Do NOT make this movie about the environment. Most people don't buy into the false climate change movement anyway.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST


    by Wazoo

    ....what's an Ark?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Noah wanted to regulate sin emissions, but Gilgamesh...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...wanted the market to self regulate. Jews and Arabs have been at odds ever since.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Is Noah getting laid by that ostrich?

    by Bass Ackwards

    Agree about The Fountain being his best film (up until I saw Black Swan, that is). I know I'm in the minority, but The Wrestler was a bit of a bore, and Requiem and Pi were great, but I doubt I'll ever want to rewatch them. But I've seen The Fountain several times now and appreciate it more each time.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Isn't he doing WOLVERINE next?

    by UMAGA

    I can't keep track of Hollywood coke dreams.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Is this grahic novel available yet?

    by ChezKing

    What is the exact title anyway? I'd like to take a look at it.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:57 p.m. CST

    The Story of Noah's Ark

    by eric haislar

    is a crock of shit.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Would rather a comic about Horus and Set and the Game of Semen

    by TheJudger

    Horus was told by his mother, Isis, to protect the people of Egypt from Set, the god of the desert, who had killed his father Osiris. Horus had many battles with Set, not only to avenge his father, but to choose the rightful ruler of Egypt. In these battles, Horus came to be associated with Lower Egypt (where Horus was worshipped), and became its patron. One scene stated how Horus was on the verge of killing Set; but his mother (and Set's sister), Isis, stopped him. Isis injured Horus, but eventually healed him By the 19th dynasty, the enmity between Set and Horus, in which Horus had ripped off one of Set's testicles, was represented as a separate tale. According to Papyrus Chester-Beatty I, Set is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set's semen, then subsequently throws it in the river, so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The gods first listened to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the gods listened to Horus' claim of having dominated Set, and call his semen forth, and it answered from inside Set. But still Set refused to relent, and the other gods were getting tired from over eighty years of fighting and challenges. Horus and Set challenged each other to a boat race, where they each raced in a boat made of stone. Horus and Set agreed, and the race started. But Horus had an edge: his boat was made of wood painted to resemble stone, rather than true stone. Set's boat, being made of heavy stone, sank, but Horus's did not. Horus then won the race, and Set stepped down and officially gave Horus the throne of Egypt. No more silly or real than living in a fish or putting two of every kind of animal on a boat- at least it knows it's being gay.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Its called "Noah"

    by Bass Ackwards

    Won't be released until next year.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:11 p.m. CST

    I have always wanted to see a film version

    by eric haislar

    Of the War in Heaven. You know where Lucifer tries to take control of Heaven from God. loses and is cast out of heaven. But don't make him the bad guy make him more sympathetic tragic figure. So you understand why he does what he does. So you feel sorry for him in the end.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:14 p.m. CST

    You know like in Dogma

    by eric haislar

    But with a budget so you can have flying army's of angels with swords killing each other. It would be epic.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:14 p.m. CST

    erichaislar, you mean other than PARADISE LOST?

    by FlickaPoo

    Because you're describing PARADISE LOST.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:17 p.m. CST

    A Trilogy Perhaps? "Noah Begins", "The Tide" and "The Tide Rises"


    There you go, Aranosgk... um... Aronogs..... um..... Aronofaski.....hmmm.... Darren.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:18 p.m. CST


    by eric haislar

    Sure If thats it I can't remember. But leave all the adam and eve stuff out. Make just about the war for the throne and make it from Lucifer point of view.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Kathy Bates to play one of the elephants!


    John Goodman to play the other one.<p>With William H Macy as a snake. Or perhaps a giraffe.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Isn't The Term 'Essential Filmmaker(s)' A Bit Silly?

    by MakNeil

    There's no such thing as an 'essential filmmaker' in any sense of the phrase. Sure, movies are great and can inspire (not that they often do, but the potential is there) and motivate us to reach beyond our selves, but essential? Let's be honest, a garbage man is more essential than the greatest filmmaker, in terms of the practical benefits of what they do. That being said, the benefits of a good film don't rest in the realm of the practical. A good film director can transport the viewer to a place where they have never been, or even imagined, before. Something that a garbage man can never be said to have done (unless he's transporting a corpse). A good director can take the stuff that dreams made, and bring it to life (of a type). That's important, though essential? Probably not. Though, if there was such a thing, Darren Aronofsky probably wouldn't be included amongst them, mainly because he hasn't directed enough films. I mean, he's done Pi, Requiem For A Dream, The Fountain, Black Swan (I don't think that I missed any).... He's still developing as a filmmaker, and while that makes me somewhat curious as to the heights that he's (probably) going to reach, to call him 'essential' at this point is somewhat hyperbolical. Now if you said visionary and important directors, I could understand; though I don't think he should be on that list either (yet) but at least it would make a bit more sense.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Jennifer Aniston to play a horse!


    This thing is fucking casting itself here. Hollywood, I am yours.

  • ...over 20 years, but the Republicans in the Babylonian Senate filibustered the shit out of it. Fucking tragedy.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:22 p.m. CST


    by blackwood

    by Timothy Findley. Best telling of the Noah story ever. Although I think it's unfilmable, given how dark it gets. Noah is not a nice guy.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Great ...

    by angel_svn

    Another attack on Christianity, I'm sure... Although, the comic book looks promising in the panels. Although the Bible doesn't indicate Eve ate an apple, did you know ... That's Cain killing Abel in the panels? That's probably Cain in the major portrait image ... he wondered away and began his own family line. Later, these are the people who started building cities and became violent. God's people (the people from the line of Seth) marry into the families from the line of Cain. The world becomes violent and sin-filled after this union; probably the last panel shows how violence filled the whole earth. Noah doesn't appear in this set of images at all. I wonder if any of you posting here even knew that before spewing your venom? By the way, Cain married his sister ...

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:28 p.m. CST

    This should be Arnie's comeback role


    NOAH (to a sheep): "Come vith me if you vant to live."

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:31 p.m. CST

    They better not fuck up Noah's costume with too many straps.

    by FlickaPoo

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:31 p.m. CST


    by angel_svn

    Best post ever!!!

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:32 p.m. CST



    A mysterious serial killer stalks the Ark, dispatching the animals one by one! Can Noah discover who the killer is? Filmed in 3D.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Adam Married his Rib

    by TheJudger

    I saw an apple and a stone and Cain and I knew and um, so what. I'm not just against your god. I'm against all gods. Even the one I can't depict in a drawing because it's naughty. Books were the only way to saturate the masses back then, and everyone believed the world was flat and lots of other non logical nonsense.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:34 p.m. CST



    Wait until I've had a few glasses of red wine later. Then my funniness level will go up a whole 1% (taking me to 2%).

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:37 p.m. CST

    angel_svn, I've been working my ass off in here!...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...but yeah, shit. The sheep Arnold sheep thing was good.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:38 p.m. CST


    by angel_svn

    The Jews certainly knew it was round when they were writing. In fact, most cultures believed the world was round. The Dark Ages might have perpetuated that myth, but it certainly isn't taught in the Bible.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:39 p.m. CST

    I like the part where

    by smackfu

    100 million species just happen to be in walking distance of this dudes boat.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Horus and Set

    by smackfu

    C'mon, like you didn't go to college.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:44 p.m. CST

    I've never understood the sin thing when it comes

    by UltraTron

    to christians. Do they all steal, kill, and fuck their neighbor's wives? They're always begging god to forgive them so I guess so. Me I don't sin. I like to fuck and empty my ballsack so I don't get prostate cancer and that pretty much covers it. I'm just a hardworkin slave like you who lives under the banking system and gets robbed blind same as you. God should flood only those specific areas where bankers and warmongers like to mingle. Us citizens don't have any sins. We don't have that level of free will to maneuver.

  • It's not every species ... it's every "kind" ... which would be a lot closer to a genus. Not every species was preserved in the flood. He also wouldn't have had to take adults. (They were on the ark for a year.) He also took seven clean aboard? Why? Because they would have to eat meat to survive during the flood and after it, since vegetation wouldn't be available. They had 120 years to get to the ark also. Since what follows is a miraculous event, God might have been inclined

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:47 p.m. CST


    by smackfu

    So basically, what you're saying is that you're retarded?

  • a relatively recent phenomenon. People in past centuries knew symbolic and poetic truth when they saw it.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:49 p.m. CST


    by sweeneydave

    I always figured the flood covered the world as the pre-israelites knew it. Noah's job was to preserve the animals of the region. The story I've heard was that the world of the pre-israelites at that time was the dry basin of the Black Sea (before it was flooded). That's about 730 miles, so to early humans, I can see it being their whole world. If you're chef God and your grand recipe is spoiling to the point that the whole species is going to destroy itself if you don't do something - then you DO something. It seems like the malfunction had to do with the lifespan. Shorten that up to under 100 years and folks don't go bad as easy. Could make an interesting tale.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Noah 24

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Noah acquires one of CTU's cars with the ability to cover LA in 10 minutes and goes on an impossible mission to save all the animals. Only, he didn't count on the mole's inevitable betrayal.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Anybody seen Ricky Gervais' bit on Noah?...

    by Shut the Fuck up Donny

    I wanna see THAT on the screen.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Watching epic action fantasy films based on Bible stories would

    by ChezKing

    be awesome but watching generations of kids growing up on them would be hilarious. Nothing would make the bible appear more ridiculous than turning it into a huge fx driven action film. Watching religious fundamentalists tell their children "Yes, it really happened" and watching kids scratch their heads after seeing the movie would be priceless. WILL be PRICELESS! Because you know we're headed there. These movies will be made. I'd love to see a bad ass fight between David and Goliath! I'd pay to see Samson fight a lion, get it on with Delilah and take on an army by himself! I'd love to see Jacob wrestle the angel! That's some good shit, man!

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Christianity and Religion is why Mr. Knowles

    by TheJudger

    has a piece of metal in his back vs a bio-engineered disc replacement. Bushes veto on the stem cell bill in the name of God and Religion is ruining the quality of my life as well. I am against All Gods. It takes anywhere from 15 to 20 years for a new drug or medical treatment to pass the 3 clinical trial stages to become a federally legalized product of use to those who need it. Than ban was overturned a bit since Obama came in, but the damage was done. The lives it would have saved had it come here sooner, will not be saved now. Because it will take us longer to see the rewards it promises- since it was deemed unethical in Bushes time in office. Same thing with gay people. Just let em be gay. Let em have the same quality of life as everyone else. Before them it was Blacks and before them it was Women. Enough already.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Xevoid - there is a huge difference between

    by MrD

    possible and probable, and you just smeared them together. Yes, because people lived in that part of the world, there is a POSSIBILITY that there was a guy in a boat who saved his pet goat during a flood. But there is ZERO evidence that it happened. People have looked, but no big boat on a mountain has been found (and truthfully probably wouldn't be - the odds that that specific boat would somehow be preserved over thousands of years, and that we'd somehow be able to tell that boat was "Noah"'s is, at best, slim. In short, saying that its LIKELY we will ever find any evidence the story is true, or even saying that it likely is kinda sort a true, is wishful thinking.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:05 p.m. CST

    We're supposed to take the NY Times literally?

    by MrD

    Are you sure?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST


    by FlickaPoo

    ...I was waiting for that.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:08 p.m. CST

    At the end of each movie...

    by ChezKing

    they could have Patrick Stewart show up in a loin cloth sitting in an ancient wheel chair and try to recruit them for his school of gifted children. Of course, they'd become an awesome, secretive superhero team.

  • every female role. Maybe Christina Hendricks as Eve. P.S. Females are nekkid a lot.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Dude, God can make anything happen

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Impossible to defeat argument. That's why every hates the kid who calls "force field" when you play tag.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:13 p.m. CST


    by eric haislar

    Yeah except make me believe in him.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:14 p.m. CST

    they're making Thor

    by mutombo

    hey, Noah's ark is a great myth and so is are a lot of others in the bible. A norwegian thunder god sent back to earth to do 'god' knows what isn't certainly any less believable than one man and woman taking all of the earth's animal species on a boat to save them from the wrath of God, right? They just need to create a believable world, something like Atlantis like someone else mentioned, some alternate universe where stuff like this might 've actually happened.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Re:Not Wanted On The Voyage

    by Jeff

    I just finished this book and was blown away, got excited when I saw this story, was hoping it would be an adaptation. You're probably right about it being unfilmable though, or at least unreleasable by any major studio

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:22 p.m. CST

    Hope Noah saves the talking snakes and dinosaurs.

    by Flip63Hole

    They DID exist at the same time, right? Also, the origin of the Easter Bunny would be very enlightening...

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Bill Cosby cameo or GTFO.

    by Triple_J_72

    "There's a fella by the name of Noah... ya see... built an ark... everybody knows he built an ark zozzum flop dawwwwwwww"

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:30 p.m. CST

    "In fact, most cultures believed the world was round."

    by buggerbugger

    Like a plate?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:34 p.m. CST



    You should be crucified for that bad, REM-based pun.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:36 p.m. CST

    007 Ralph Fiennes = Ernst Stavro Blofeld

    by NADO

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:38 p.m. CST

    Are they going to film the part...


    where Noah's son, Ham, sees his father drunk, passed out and naked and takes the opportunity to rape dear old dad up the ass and subsequently gets cursed by his father? I'd buy that for a dollar.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:40 p.m. CST

    The tone of this statement is mildly disturbing:

    by ufoclub1977

    "Aronofsky has quickly become one of our most essential filmmakers, and anything he gets excited about is good enough for us to take notice." - Nordling No, I look forward to check out any Aronfsky work, I'm referring to the use of "our" and "us". A conformist cult, I mean community mindset is very bad for your mind, and very bad for future art. I hope people on here don't feel like acknowledging a community identity in which they are led, or possibly simply used as a market factor. [Check out page 86 of this month's GQ magazine for a great article that uses "Inception" as an example (Don't worry it's considered gold) of failing attitude in Hollywood today: "The Day the Movies Died" by Mark Harris]

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:45 p.m. CST

    My bad


    Ham either raped or castrated Noah. And Noah then cursed Ham's son, Canaan. Sick minds, these storytellers had.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:49 p.m. CST

    CHOPPAHPOTAMUS, plenty of sick stories in the Bible, but...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...I think you're reading between the lines and providing some sick yourself with the castration/sodomy story.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:52 p.m. CST

    They found Noah's ark...

    by IronCleric

    Check it out here, all you Generation of Vipers:

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:52 p.m. CST

    ...either way, Noah having a son named Ham is hilarious.

    by FlickaPoo

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:53 p.m. CST

    I'd hate to be raped by someone named Ham...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...insult to fucking injury, man.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 4:58 p.m. CST

    I hope Simon Russell Beale gets the part of Blofeld...

    by workshed

    ...slightly off-thread but seeing as someone mentioned Fiennes being in contention for Bond villain. Beale would be fucking tremendous and hopefully the role of Blofeld would make him the household name he deserves to be (seeing as he's probably the best actor on the planet).

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:02 p.m. CST


    by David Cloverfield

    But I'm afraid this story has even more rabid fanboys than LOTR. They'll ruin it for the rest of us with the silly elf ears or whataver they like to wear.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Will Noah get drunk

    by rahtard

    And pass out and get raped by one of his sons like in the book?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:10 p.m. CST

    I think flickapoo should

    by rahtard

    Make this film. He seems to have more grip on the source of material and I'm sure it will be more entrertaining than Noah having temper tantrums, which is what a Black Swan take on the story would be.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Hugh Jackman as Noah

    by rahtard

    Justin Bieber as Ham. Avatar's BO numbers go down. Or is that Hugh's head. BAM!

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:13 p.m. CST

    Ham Beat Noahs Meat

    by TheJudger

    Ham Turduckened his Dad. Noah was "Hammed" by Ham.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:13 p.m. CST

    You're right...

    by D jones

    ...and so is every other story in the bible.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:17 p.m. CST

    They'd buy this in Kansas

    by Mr Lucas

    that or outlaw it. Folks there believe this crap to be history. No, taking the Bible literally is not a modern phenomenon. "Scholars" of the past used it to calculate the age of the Earth. Morons.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:18 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack


  • ...who says that to a guy with a son named Ham? What the fuck, man?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:21 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Adrien Brody as the anteater.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:24 p.m. CST


    by JohnWayneWasGay

    Noah was a Jew so his son wasn't kosher.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Just trying to earn a seat on the ark...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...the only way I know how.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:31 p.m. CST

    by mrbouncy

    god just wanted to kill all midgets but got carried away

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Johnny, kosher law came later...but now that you mention it...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...I bet it was all because of the unpleasant Ham "incident".

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 6 p.m. CST

    Requiem for a Dream was his Best work to date

    by D o o d

    The Fountain was extremely boring. I've tried to watch that movie twice now!

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 6:10 p.m. CST

    But it's such a retarded fucking story!

    by V'Shael

    I can't see this working on anything like a "modern" level.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 6:19 p.m. CST

    The real was a survivor of Atlantis

    by Monkey_King

    Look it up

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 6:31 p.m. CST

    Wasn't the fountain that one where

    by UltraTron

    this guy invents immortality and lives to the end of time in the hopes of re-creating his lost love?He journeys to the heart of the galaxy in the most advanced spaceship ever seen to accomplish this. It's like this energy bubble of a spaceship. That's the one i'm thinking of right? He's got centuries of tattoos that mark the time that's past. That movie was fucking perfect sci/fi love story

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 6:45 p.m. CST

    If one is raped by a man called "Ham"

    by Failure101

    Is it okay to go around asking others if his farts "smell like bacon?" A question for the ages gentlemen....and ladies, ah who am I kidding?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 6:45 p.m. CST

    The Fountain....

    by macheesmo3

    Saw this recently on TV in HD and I must say that as enjoyable as the story was, the movie looked like a made for Sci-Fi channel piece of crap... I mean it seriously looked like it was shot with Soap Opera cameras!!!! WTF was that all about? It really took me out of the movie.

  • because the story of Noah just demanded his schizo and oh so humorous - side splitting really, no, i'm serious, im gasping for breath because he is so funny -really i am, commentary. they say the funniest comedians are tortured souls - i have no idea what the fuck to make of the schizo subflickchopshitoff

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 6:53 p.m. CST

    Success 101...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...I laughed and laughed.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:02 p.m. CST

    God - king of genocide

    by Keith

    Creates life, fucks it up, takes his anger out on his own botched creations. What the fuck was that dude ever hoping for, anyway?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:05 p.m. CST


    by Keith

    "I mean, he's done Pi, Requiem For A Dream, The Fountain, Black Swan (I don't think that I missed any)" Nope, didn't miss any, aside from the one you missed, i.e. The Wrestler.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:11 p.m. CST

    So, Kobe...did you read every post? I love the idea...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...of you sitting there...reading and hating...reading and hating... Is that list of other people I'm supposed to be getting longer? Pretty soon you'll be giving me credit for every good post in talkback.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:14 p.m. CST

    nah bubbeh,i read about three - thats all I needed

    by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes

    and i will never link you with any tb'er or post that actually is good

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:17 p.m. CST


    by Keith

    "Most people don't buy into the false climate change movement anyway." Agreed. They're mainly following the genuine one.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:19 p.m. CST

    what isn't aronofsky attached to at this point?


    i hear he's doing my biography in religious parable format and then cutting a making of documentary about the filming of it.

  • holy shit there are some retards here. Knowing in fact what we do about the sketchy makeup of the bible, there's a snowball's chance in hell (pun intended) that story is based on much fact.. And yeh, watch Gervais take on it...apart from being hilarious he points out shit about the myth that makes any idea that it's based on any reality, ludicrous

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:21 p.m. CST

    Also this film is a really fucking silly idea..

    by quantize

    Black Swan proved he's really not a consistent filmmaker...Ok so he takes risks. That's nice..they don't happen to work all the fact I'd give him a 50/50 coz Black Swan was some silly ass shit... It made fake wrestling seem important

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:23 p.m. CST

    Wouldn't the Wolverine on the boat kill everything?

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Maybe this is all code.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:24 p.m. CST

    And before anyone starts defending Black Swan

    by quantize

    I'd recommend you go back and watch Requiem for a Dream's unwatchable and absurdly pretentious.. The guy is talented, but it's a big mistake to think he's on a level with the Cohen's (just for example)

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:33 p.m. CST

    Requiem for a Dream vs. Traffic

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    quantize is nuts. Requiem was great. Traffic on the other hand had a "there's a bomb" with slow motion "NOOOOOO!" straight out of Miami Vice. Trouble making kids dying from experimenting with drugs. Daughter of a politician ending up with a large black pimp. Like every cliche from the 80's they could throw at the wall. Traffic plays like Reefer Madness while Requiem is million times more effective at the same goal of examining the downward spiral of addiction.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:48 p.m. CST

    What's got your linens in a twist this time, Kobe?

    by FlickaPoo

    Why don't you share with the group?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:49 p.m. CST


    by xile1c

    Who is this really?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 7:54 p.m. CST


    by KDog629

    You know the Dodo died out in the late 1600s, right?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8 p.m. CST

    To the people claiming biblical stories are true...

    by Giphangster

    ...I'll believe you when you produce credible evidence. Until then you will always be regulated by rational people to the realm of those who believe in crazy, ridiculous myths and don't know how to separate fiction from reality. You're no more credible than Scientologists. Just because there are a lot of nutters in the world doesn't make you any less crazy.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:05 p.m. CST

    "crazy, ridiculous myths"...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...I love myths. Don't confuse the myth with the crazy, ridiculous person who takes it literally.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:14 p.m. CST

    congrats bobo. here's your cookie.

    by charlesbronsonLIVES

    thanks for the link.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:19 p.m. CST


    by Ingeld

    is a true story that never happened. Genesis is myth.

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Noah Way Out

    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:54 p.m. CST


    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:55 p.m. CST


    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:56 p.m. CST

    Noahting Hill: Ararat

    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:56 p.m. CST

    Noah Orbit (w Eddie Murphy)

    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:57 p.m. CST

    Carnal Noahlage!

    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:58 p.m. CST

    Noah Reservations (sorry Unicorns!)

    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:58 p.m. CST

    Noah Strings Attached (w/Natalie Porthole)

    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 8:59 p.m. CST

    Dr. Noah (w/apologies to Doolittle)

    by menacingphantom

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 9:23 p.m. CST

    what the hell is wrong with you people?

    by omarthesnake

    all these posts and not a single mention of the definitive interpretation of this saga of all time? No love for Jon Voight?

  • Feb. 7, 2011, 9:57 p.m. CST

    Perfect! Then we finally can get "Thor vs Noah"!

    by Carl XVI Gustaf

    Oh, and Nordling, Thor was an environmentalist in the Ultimates. Not the first, but still, good.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 2:46 a.m. CST

    Noah the environmentalist?

    by eveelcapitalist

    Uh, okay? Maybe it doesn't suck as much as he makes, no, it's gonna suck exactly as much as Aronofsky makes it sound. Now if it was a secularized tale of Noah, that I'd probably be down with. I figure all these old tales have somewhere a kernal of truth in them. I'm not a believer myself, I don't think God flooded a thing, but tales of apocalyptic floods exist in every culture every where. An examination of that premise could be interesting. But no, we get Noah as Al Gore. Yeah. Great. Way to go there, Darren! As an aside, I didn't know Noah had dredlocks. Maybe Mrs. Noah sports herself some perfect DD cup breasts and walks around in a thong all day? YEAH!

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 4:39 a.m. CST

    And in the movie, NOAH willbe played by... Noah Emmerich

    by AsimovLives

    I know, incredibly lame pun. But somebody had to do it.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 4:49 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    What 12,000BC fload of the Mediterranean? A possible, theorized fload of the Mediterranean was the Zanclean Flood, aka the Zanclean Deluge, which happened about 5 million years ago. There was no civilizations then, there wasn't even humans to have a memory of it perpectuate through legends ands myths. And even at 12.000BC, there was no minoan civilization. In 12,000Bc there was no civilizations, period. It was all still deep pre-history during the ice age.

  • Both are really bad sources.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 4:53 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Noah did found space for the Dodo because that bird was only extint in the 17th century, by man no less. It's the dinosaurs and the mamoths that puzzles me.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 5:02 a.m. CST

    church propaganda. I'm not interested because I have a brain

    by Ecto-1

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 5:12 a.m. CST

    "Noah wasn't a true story". And water is wet.

    by AsimovLives

    Anyone else whats to make some more obvious statements?

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 5:16 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    just because you cannot imagine an exciting story about the Noah's ark that doesn't mean that it can't be done. The limitations is in your imagination. This is why some people are artists that create stories and others who... well, are store clerks and flip burgers.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 5:34 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    If there is some kernel of truth about the biblical flood story, it has to do with something that happened in ancient mesopotamia a long time ago. Maybe durian the early days of the sumerian civilization, maybe even a bit before. The Euphrades and the Tiber rivers, which make Mesopotamia, in ancient times they were known to have suddent flash floods. They were not like the Nile, whose floods were very periodic, constant and very predictable. Tibris and Euphrades, ocasionally, caused devastation through unexpected out of season flooding. It's for this reason that since the sumerian times the people there build canals to to control the flood flow of those rivers. It's not entirely out of reason to think that the story of the flood, whose olders telling known to us cames from the Epic Of Gilgamesh, could had some traces from a past event in which a larger then usual flooding, even bigger the the atypical ones, caused extreme mayheim and devastation and the death of most of the people, crops, cattle, villages and towns of the region. And the survivor might had started to wonder why they had been "punished" so, and stories of displeased gods emerged to try to rationalize their suffering and devastation. And as such stories, there's always a savior figure. It's not necessary that he ever existed for real for him to show up in stories and myths.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 6:27 a.m. CST

    But Lord .... do we have to take the Woodworms ?

    by Dalius


  • Feb. 8, 2011, 6:45 a.m. CST

    ecto, and others, worried that this will be church propaganda

    by Bobo_Vision

    It's not likely, because Aronofsky is agnostic, from what I can tell. He doesn't believe in the literal sense of God, but believes in spirituality. Here's a quote: <p> "It's probably because I'm Godless. And so I've had to make my God, and my God is narrative filmmaking, which is -- ultimately what my God becomes, which is what my mantra becomes, is the theme. "

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Waterworld: The Prequel

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Mark Harmon as Noah. He's always building stuff in his basement both on the show and in real life.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 7:47 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Oy hail naw!

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 7:50 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Who's *yur* daddy now huh?

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 9:10 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Don't beliettle the theology of those people of ancient times, like the minoans. If you think that little was writen in their sacred texts and there's little theology about it, it means that little to texts reached to us, that that the vast majority of those were lost. The vast majority of all texts from antiquity are lost. And evne if they were effectively few, this also means another thing: that all the other people who didn't belonged to the judean-christian tradition where very good in writing sacred texts and never let any doubt to their interpretation. In contrast to the Bible, which is a disorganized salad of stuff that people to this say still can't really figure out because it was so badly organized and slopply.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 9:25 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    I'm no entivomentalist, but the clima IS changing. The clima IS ALWAYS changing. There is no set fixures for clima. Clima has always changed throughout Earth's history. Thew only real question is what it making it change today. Persoanlyl, i think mostly is a natural process. But the hand of man is in it as well, sadly. We are not the sole reason, maybe not even the most improtant reason, but we are part of the reason.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 10:17 a.m. CST

    The Flood was like a Reboot

    by AsimovLives

    It's as if God was WB and saw that the world was the Batman fracnhise and it had turned into BATMAN & ROBIN terribleness. So, WB/God God decide to correct the situation by making a clean slate and comanded Noah, who was the Christopher Nolan of the time, to restart the world of Men anew, perserving some of the few good stuff that still worked in his new movie. So Nolan/Noah made an ark, which was their version of BATMAN BEGINS, which retained what few good still remained in the world, and created a new world anew. And so it come to pass.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 11:19 a.m. CST


    by Keats

    Is English your first language? No reason, just wondering. Also, funny Batman analogy. Also, glad to hear that you’ve got the climate change issue all figured out. Guess we can tell the scientists working on the issue to knock off early.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 11:46 a.m. CST

    "Who's *yur* daddy now huh? "

    by FlickaPoo


  • Feb. 8, 2011, 11:57 a.m. CST

    RE: There probably really was a Noah, folks

    by Ostrog

    I'm not buying that it was probably true. For one, what would make him build it? Why would he take two of each kind? There might have been a man named Noah, and maybe he had a big boat, but he didn't build it in the middle of nowhere. Maybe he lived on the ocean, and he had a huge boat because his whole family lived on it. I think it's just a tale, like any other tale that claims all sorts of gargantuan things, like a man holding up the world and so on.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 12:12 p.m. CST


    by WriteForTheEdit


  • Feb. 8, 2011, 12:22 p.m. CST

    The ark is on Mt. Ararat

    by Shaner Jedi

    come on you know it is!

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST


    by Jacob

    Asimov, To reduce the bible to a patchwork of confused theology is pretty ridiculous. The ancient biblical text was written by like minded individuals, all Jewish save for a possible gentile author to the Gospel of Luke. So even final redactors had access to the contradictions and even left them in. They saw no problem with the seemingly confused texts because in reality there is deep theological unity from Genesis to Revelation, the simplest being creation and new creation. Again, if any other ancient near eastern theology was viable, it would have endured. For whatever reason, the judeo christian theology sparked rabid devotion to see the it endure.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Won't somebody think of the insects?!?

    by Star Hump

    They always get left out.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Noah is the top talkback. I'm not sure why, but I love that.

    by FlickaPoo

  • ...too high concept?

  • ...named Noah...struggling to make a living off asshole tourists.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 12:54 p.m. CST


    by WriteForTheEdit

    "Immanuel Labor" as Noahblo's deckhand.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Almost too perfect, theedit...

    by FlickaPoo

    "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel". ...and he will humbly scrub decks, but slowly reveal a quiet authority and deep wisdom... Like the black guy in a Stephen King novel.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 1:46 p.m. CST

    'Bout time someone made a kick-ass Bible movie

    by Teddy Artery

    :) Hee hee.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 1:48 p.m. CST

    thanks to asimov

    by fat_rancor_keeper

    I didn't understand anything anyone was saying until the comic book analogy was made

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Make it an origin story...NOAH COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.

    by FlickaPoo

    Scrappy young Noah, centuries away form his destiny, can figure his way out of almost any scrape...relying only on ingenuity, his two hands, and his trusty cubit tape measure...

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Or give it a new twist

    by Teddy Artery

    Noah gets all the animals on his ark, only to go on a bloody rampage and he kills and eats the unicorns.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 2:15 p.m. CST


    by fat_rancor_keeper

    tell me that wouldnt rock

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 2:20 p.m. CST

    teddy artery...RAVENOAHUS?

    by FlickaPoo

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 2:24 p.m. CST


    by FlickaPoo

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 2:26 p.m. CST

    It should be directed by Gaspar Noah.


    And it'll feature a 15-minute, single-shot scene in which Noah's wife is anally raped by a rutting yak. Beaks will declare it the best film of the 21st century.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 2:27 p.m. CST

    tvs frank: Asimov's first language is AWESOME.


  • Feb. 8, 2011, 2:29 p.m. CST

    NOAH: ARK-HAM ASYLUM. Confined in a windowless wooden box...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...with all the animals in the world, your family, and a slowly unraveling rapist son...40 days never felt to long... ...but 40 nights could kill you. A timeless tale of Psychological horror.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 4:12 p.m. CST

    Breaking all the rules

    by tiggr009

    GOD killed everyone in Genesis because they broke all the rules, but he didn't actually give anyone the rules until the next book (Exodus). Prick.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 4:44 p.m. CST



    Check your bible studies, dude. There are a number of theories surrounding the curse on the sons of Ham. Traditionally, the "drunk Noah was raped by Ham" was favored by rabbis. Even ancient Jewish writers in the Talmud (the compilation of Jewish "Oral Law") thought that Ham had raped Noah. The only other alternative suggested was that Ham had castrated Noah, which isn't exactly better--but is not nearly as funny.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Noah would never have had to build the Ark

    by hairlesspet

    ...if BP hadn't drilled on Mars, opening up a temporal vortex that melted the polar ice-caps! "We're sorry." Thanks Captain Hindsight!

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 6:17 p.m. CST

    Jon Hamm as Noah..


    Oh Noah didn't!

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 6:26 p.m. CST



    Wasn't Mckay going to show up on SGU? And IMDB says Stargate:Extinction in the works.

  • December 18, 2006 12:48 PM Anonymous said... "Unbelievably, even ancient Jewish writers, in the Talmud (the compilation of Jewish "Oral Law"), thought that Ham had raped Noah. The only other alternative suggested was that Ham had castrated Noah, which isn't exactly better." He steals quotes Every fucking time. Any time choppah writes a sentence above the level of a brain dead baboon, it is suspect and 100% stolen.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 7:23 p.m. CST

    choppah plagiarizing again with above quote stolen from below blog

    by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes the bitch sucking baboon

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 7:50 p.m. CST


    by BBSloth

    Will be interesting to see how he crams representatives from 6 million species into a small wooden boat withouht having them all eat each other. Also, enough rain to cover Mount Everest (at least 8 km deep) would take a lot longer than 40 days.

  • The entire history of the Flood and Noah's Ark is about God's Judgement on mankind for screwing things up in more ways than not caring about some friggin trees and littering. How does Aronofsky even resolve this? God punishes man for being bad to the environment and generally to each other by destroying the very environment on which they inhabit? I guess Hollywood hasn't bothered making this because of morons like Aronofsky who'll divorce the story as much as possible from Christian themes in favor of entirely bullshit ones. Why not just air that Discovery Channel 'documentary' haha, about where they start off wondering what Noah's Ark is about, you know, anything other than what you get in the Bible, and so they decide to ditch it for the version in the Epic of Gilgamesh, and then ditch that to make it about some farmer in a boat in a local flood. They might as well just air that in a theatre. It'd save the studio some money and will be no less ridiculous. If anyone is expecting Passion of the Christ numbers for this, they ought to note that the Passion and Mel Gibson took the Christian religion seriously. This sounds like some secular please everyone revisionist tripe. No Christians will be flocking to this one.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Oh look typical anti-religious comments

    by Johnno

    And the usual ones too. Guys, before you go about spouting out straw men shit about why the Ark couldn't be this or couldn't be that, or couldn't hold so many animals and other rhetoric and "blah blah blah look at how skeptical I is" to make yourselves feel better and convince yourselves you won't burn in hell when you die for, if anything, your sheer stupidity and ignorance, why don't you go look up a Christian apologetics of Creationist website and learn something and then come back with something new, huh? For a bunch of hicks who believe that living things spontaneously popped out from rocks and magically 'evolved' after our planet was seeded by magical aliens who live in another invisible dimensional universe, you sure do love to go around telling religious about how our Invisible God in the sky, whose various attributes you yourselves made up in your heads and pretended was what we actually believed in, is preposterous! Like holy shit, do any of you even realize the dumb shit you subscribe to? It's laughable how oblivious you are to it!

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 8:58 p.m. CST

    The Thermals have a kick ass song about this

    by Severens_spur

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 9:31 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    A shaynem dank, Chop.

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 11:37 p.m. CST


    by Arcadian Del Sol

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 11:41 p.m. CST

    I have the Looper Script

    by Collin

    I Googled Looper script review and only managed to find a couple of sites that had some pages from casting calls. I managed to get the entire script and emailed AICN to see if they were interested. No email back as of yet which leads me to believe they may have already seen it. Does anyone know if the script has already made the rounds? As I said, I couldn't find any news about the entire script but I thought it was possible that I just missed it

  • Feb. 8, 2011, 11:48 p.m. CST

    by BobLoblaw75

    bbsloth, It wasn't solely 40 days of rain. The bible says tat the fountains of the deep broke open. Have you ever studied the contours of the sea floor? I just took an oceanography course and the bottom of the ocean basins are riddled with trenches, volcanoes, and canyons that indicate something broke out from beneath. The greatest depths of the ocean could swallow everest with room to spare. so many people seem to be stuck on this notion that the topography of our planet today is exactly as it was then. You do realize the ridiculous amount of water that is on this planet right? Try imagining this scenario. The vast majority of the ocean surface we see today was actually completely covered by dry land. All the water that makes up todays oceans was contained in a vast honeycomb network of underground caverns. Then, all that water, under intense pressure comes shooting to the surface, covering even everest with water. So, now you've got all this water sitting above land, and the areas of land that the water used to be under, now cannot support the weight of all the water on top, so those areas washout creating the ocean basins we see today. Possible scenario for which there is more than enough water on earth to accommodate.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 12:17 a.m. CST

    Darren, WTF are you doing?

    by jb

    you have established yourself as the greatest current director with Pi, Requiem for a Dream, the Fountain, the Wrestler, and Black Swan. And now you are doing Wolverine and some bible crap? You climb to the top only to do complete garbage? Nolan paid his dues and made Inception, and you want to regress into the comic book and religion sewer ? Your films have been intelligent , spiritual, mystical and full of passion. So please reconsider indulging in unsophisticated shallow subjects such as these. You are better than this.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 12:54 a.m. CST


    by Shubniggorath

    I AM TIRED OF ALL THESE MUTHAFUCKIN SNAKES ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN ARK! If Arnovsky directed, I would pay to see this film.

  • that he so much deserves.NEXT STOP: BATMAN 4.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:07 a.m. CST

    Will Smith as Noah

    by KilliK

    and Pee-Wee Herman as the voice of God.make it so.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 7:03 a.m. CST

    Eternal Nerve ending Johnno?

    by TheJudger

    When I burn in hell for eternity how will my flesh and nerve endings remain intact so I may feel that painful anguish forever. I know people who died and came back, many in fact. One of them is a former cocaine abuser. You know what he saw all three times he flat-lined over the course of 10 years. "Blackness" not eternal or cold or scary- just plain blackness. You know what he felt. A sense of peace he has never felt in life. He does not believe in any of the man made gods either. He sorta believed in the christian version before he died. Not anymore. You see there are people who "Think they know" and people who "Know they don't". I'm a "Don't Know" kinda guy. I sin all the time. So does nature- It does it to maintain survival. Sharks killing baby seals to survive, monkeys killing infant monkeys so the mother will go into fuck mode again. Bird pretending to be bigger than they are in size to get laid. Rape, murder, theft, cruelty, and mayhem perpetuates life itself and it is the way life deemed primitive survives. Survival is the prime directive of all living things. We are just the most rationally irrational species on this rock. We know what is right and wrong but we are still slaves to self preservation, desire and need. I'm not going to hell, I'm already in it with people like you making life that much more shitty for pushing this shit into the laws and politics that govern us. Mainly it effect on the freedoms of medical sceince is pissing me off. Aliens seeding the earth huh. Shit coming from nothing but rocks. Here's the deal dude. You are trillions of years old. As old as the universe it self. However you are only made up of the materials present here on earth and you current configuration is only as old as you currently are. The earth weighs six Septillion pounds. You did not add or take any weight from this world when you were conceived. Not even a micron. You dont do so now either. Because the earth sustains you and everything on it. whatever you take in- you return. Be it your shit your piss, your sweat, your dead skin cells, you hair and nails, the carbon you exhale, the electrons you alter when you move- the heat that comes off of your body. It's the Einstein theory. Energy and matter is neither created or destroyed. It can be converted but not destroyed and not created. You see things too simple like. You see a really cool building and you think. Hot damn look at what we've "Created". The word creation in you rmind maintains that strenght of being full created as if from nothing. No this building was not "Created" it was converted from the natural resources and matter present here on earth. When you die- buried or burned. You are not destroyed only converted. The earth will not lose any weight either. when burned you become gas and ash and vapor and carbon. See even as a little sperm being made inside your daddies testicles. You were converted from the resources of the earth. He consumed something with some protein in it. It sustained the bodies order of self making cells and other such shit. Basically what he consumed supplied the body with energy it need to do the biochemical things inside itself to produce sperm. God didn't reach into your dads nut sack and sprinkle sperm in there. Back off on the alien seeded the world crap. That starts off the whole if they made us who made them crap. We come from something. A something very unknown a reason of the event will never be fully discovered. You are here now as this you will become all sorts of stuff when you die, you already have- All that carbon you exhaled. all those nail clippings and the flakes of dead skin cells you shed, and piss and the shit and the sweat and blood. You are earth you return to earth. Enjoy this form while it lasts.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 7:56 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    We don't agree too often,but it sems we have similiar views about the bible, which pleases me to know. Though you put your views in a somewhat more colourful manner... which i like. You know what i think? I think we might actually have more in common then we might think... or you wished for, since you really hate my guts. but i don't mind, we are in agreement about bible stuff, and that's good enough for me.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 7:58 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    The myths are cool as stories of fiction. The people who believe in the myths as absolute truth, however...

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 8:08 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    I'm no biblehead, but the Tv show depiction of the Noah story was insulting like shit! It mad eno narrative sens ewhatsoever, the shit that happened there was a total mix up of later parts of the bible mixed up with earlier parts. Since fucking when Noah and Lot were contemporaneans? It's quite telling when even an harsh atheist bible critic like me fells insulted by the presentation of the book's stories in a show.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 8:37 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    My first language is portuguese. It's the language of the portuguese and brazilian people, and aso the official language of the african countries of Guiné-Bissau, Cabo Verde, São Tomé e Princepe, Angola and Mozambique. english is indeed my second language, of which i'm more fluent then my posts give indication. Whatever you will write in english, chances are i'll understand 98% of what you wrote, unless you pull up some obscure judicial terminology. As for the climate changes coments i made, they are based on what the climatic scientists have said about the subject. I know there are some theories on the subject, i go for what looks to be the most plausible, which is, the climatic changes are natural processes, but the one that is happening today is partially influenced by our global activities. I used to be more skeptical about our influence, if any, on the climatic changes, but it seems that as compared with the Medieval Warm Period, today we have a far more steep raise of global temperature then what happened in said middle age period, thanks to the study of the ices of Greenland, whose formation and the type of atmospheric gases trapped and their composition mixture are influenced by the conditions of the time, including atmospheric temperature. You know, friend, i don't know what kind of people are used to deal in here, but it would be good that ocasionally you would cut some slack. I'd appreciate that.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 8:42 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    The bible is indded patchwork of traditions, some of them even contradiction each other. The different sourses are so obvious, they were even named. for example, there's two accounts of the creation of the world in Genesis, and both contradict each other on their testement. There's contradictions of al kinds in the whole body of the bible, made even more blatant if you include the new testement. The biboe is literally a quilt of diffferent traditions who were put together by the strnghs of the traditions, evne if they conflicted with each other. It's quite clear to see that there's a lot of stuff from different centuries mixed up in a pecular from of edition that has little to do with what we undestand of editing today. And that's not even including the new testement. and then there's the fact that there are DIFFERENT VESIONS of the christian bible. OIne day you should try to compare the catholic and the king jame's bible, you would be suprised. Even the naming of the books is different, for christ's sakes (pun intended)!

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 8:49 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    That description of the Scientology Dogma sound slike the plot of Michael Bay's TRANSFORMERS movies.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 8:50 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    I'm glad to be of help.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 8:58 a.m. CST



    *I* posted that original quote you found. Yeah, that was me. I took an Old Testament as Literature class while I was getting my Master's degree about fifteen years ago, and I found the various arguments regarding Noah and his sexually depraved son, Ham, fascinating. Nice try. Kobe, you poor fucker -- all eaten up with obsessive vitriol and jealousy. I pity you and anyone who has to deal with you regularly.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 10:07 a.m. CST


    by FlickaPoo

    The polls aren't closed yet, but that's a winner.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 10:15 a.m. CST


    by riggs_and_murtaghs_love_child

    Ha ha ha ha......I can see you are still your man ass loving, cock smoking moronic self. If ever a time came when you were not a vile disgusting piece of shit, I think the earth would stop turning. Shaq is calling from the set of Steel 2.....oh yea, his movie career failed.....and he still doesn't have as many championships as Kobe Bryant.....too bad, so sad. Retards like you keep these talkbacks amusing, so please, rock on lil man!

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 10:34 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Wait a minute, you are telling us to learn from reading from creatonists websites? Is that a joke? Are you for real? What's next, i should learn about the habitants of the north pole from reading santa clause stories?

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 10:38 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    The HYPOTHESIS that the oceans might have came form underneath and geisered out to the surface is for something that happened 4 billion years ago. There's no way that stuff that happened way before life on Earth first emerged could create a vague memory perpectuated in myths by men. The floor of the ocean is fracture due to this little thing called CONTINENTAL DRIF, which has constantly happned through the entire history of Earth ad is still today, and will continue until the Earth's core colds down, which would take so long to happen that the Sun might go nova before that.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 10:49 a.m. CST

    I'd rather see Aronofsky's Robocop film

    by SithMenace

    I'll bet he could knock that one out of the park.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 10:52 a.m. CST

    So Aronofsky is doing....

    by SithMenace

    Batman, Robocop, Wolverine and Noah? Either that's a long time to wait or a funny orgy.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 10:56 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Or just The Testament?

  • ... there is no such thing as live spontaneous coming out of nothere. That's how how things work. The last time people beleived in life spontaneously appearing from inanimated matter was THE MIDDLE AGES! And it was in the middle ages that idea was proved wrong too. Creationists use coments that were already disproved in the middle ages, for christ's sakes (pun intended)! Life is, to put it in it's most basic scale, a series of complex interactive chemical reactions. In nature, quasi-life chemical reactions that act almost as life exists. The best example are self-replicating proteins, like prions, which the best known type is the one that causes the Bovine spongiform encephalopathy desease, also known as the Mad Cow Desease. Prions acts almost like living things, they replicate, the whole thing. Proteins like prions are a natural consequence of how chemistry works. Given enough favourable conditions, they will happen. Life on Earth is the result of a natural chemical process which, facing the right conditions, happened. With the conditions that existed on the early Earth, it would be an inevitability. What still puzzles scientists this day is the Abiogenesis problem, how life came to be form complex molecules to life itself as we know it. Because so far we hav enot been able to understand the exact process that made it, nor replicating it. But the fact we still don't understand how Abiogenesis happened doesn't mean that it was god who did it. That's the God Of The Gaps fallacy. You don't find god in the gaps of scientific knowledge and then fill it with god to prove his existence. That's a dumb fallacy that was dismissed and criticised for the very first time by Henry Drummond, a 19th evangelist. Yeah, a 19th century evangelist was far more advanced and wise then 21th century creationists. Think about that!

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 11:53 a.m. CST

    "Yeah, a 19th century evangelist was far more advanced and wise...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...then 21th century creationists. Think about that! " 19th Century? Don't forget 3rd... "What person of intelligence, I ask, will consider as a reasonable statement that the first and the second and the third day, in which there are said to be both morning and evening, existed without sun and moon and stars, while the first day was even without a heaven? […] I do not think anyone will doubt that these are figurative expressions which indicate certain mysteries through a semblance of history." --Origen Adamantius 185–254 A.D.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 12:58 p.m. CST

    I think they call it THE GOOD PARTS VERSION...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...complete with all the NC-17 stuff they watered down in the sequel.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:05 p.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Again somebody from the past proves to be way smarter and wiser and rational then 21th century creationists. Doesn't this creationists fools look like such losers when they get beatdown by people who lived centuries ago without running water?

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:06 p.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    They refer to it as the Torah, which means The Law. It doesn't exactly match the christian old testement, though.

  • ...a watered down cash-grab of an attempt to continue the story. The original is all about a future savior of the world, but once you get to see him in action it's kind of a letdown. it doesn't retroactively fuck up the original, but you have to consciously block it out.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:11 p.m. CST

    One thing the modern world does not need...

    by Al Delvechio more promotion of any religious mythology. People the world over are suffering and dying on a daily basis because of refusal to let these stories go and simply grow up. Aronofsky will be doing the world a great disservice if he goes through with this project.

  • Least we forget, Noah's stay in the ark was 80 days. That's almost 3 months. imagine being stuck in that ark with measures how many cubit,s a measure that nobody knows for sure, but it ure wasn't a tanker-sized boat, and had to shovel all that shit, just to prevent the ark to gain weight and sink. I just can't imagine that! Beside,s what the fuck did those animals eat, anyway? Noah put in the ark all kinds of animals, including preators. How were the predators feed for all those days? They had to eat lettuce? Who wrote this bible, anyway? So little of it makes any sense. It's as if the Bible was writen by the ancient times version of Bob Orci and Alex Kurtzman? "It doesn't matter the story sucks and doen't make sense, the special effects and the advertizement will distract the th audiences".

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:17 p.m. CST

    "Let my peepul go vit me if dey vant to liff"

    by WriteForTheEdit

    Yeah, I posted this in the Snow White TB, too, in reply...

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Brewery Bible: King Jar Jar -mes version.

    by STLost

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:21 p.m. CST



    J, P, and E wrote it, among others...

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:35 p.m. CST

    flickapoo and asimovlives , some clarifcation on Origen

    by TallanDagwood

    While not taking any sides in this debate, I find it is a bit ironic that you choose to base one of your anti-creationist arguments on the words of the man considered to be one of, if not the greatest of all early Christian writers and thinkers. A devoutly Christian writer who believed in the supremacy of God if not necessarily Christ or the especially of the Holy Spirit. And, who believed in the literal inspired word from God of the Bible.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Yeahr , STLOST!


    Give this project to Zach "The Hack" Snyder or Jar Jar Abrams! Hell, where's Bob Orci and JettL93? I want that screenplay YESTERDAY!

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 3:49 p.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Those single letter named authors!

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 3:54 p.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Just because an author is christian doesn't mean i have to oppose his ideas and views. Fortunatly, the church of old had many rationalists. Ther eis no irony in agreeing withsoembody who actively searched for the truth through reason. I can't expect that a ancient author would be an atheist, since atheist declined as a philosophical current after the avent of christianism as the state religion of the Roman Empire. The epicurians and the atomists found themselves quite scarce on account of presecutions. The destruction of the Library of Alexandria sure scared them away. The thing that always should be applauded and cherished is the search of the truth though reason and not dogma of all people of all ages.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 3:56 p.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    i think Mickey Bay would be chosen as the director, because he's the one with most experience in kissing biblebelt's ass. All his movies are made to kiss biblebelt's ass.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 4:46 p.m. CST

    Noah and Ham Rape Reenactment

    by THE_CHOPPAH Reverse the two (white hair and brown hair), add beards, and put em in a tent.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Bible porn

    by AsimovLives

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 5:12 p.m. CST


    by FlickaPoo

    ...that was my point. You don't even have to go outside the church to get more reasonable points of view. It makes the contemporary fundamentalist (half of my family) take all the more maddening.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 7:31 p.m. CST


    by TallanDagwood

    That is a very well reasoned and nuanced way to approach almost any subject matter - whether you agree with the premise or not.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 7:43 p.m. CST


    by TallanDagwood

    Well done. I have always believed it is best to approach any subject from points of view which may be outside our comfort zone. It never surprises me when by doing so, new insight is gleaned. I sometimes have even changed my stance because of such.

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 7:56 p.m. CST

    tallandagwood, you speak with knowledge and good judgment...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...what the hell are you doing in this den of iniquity?

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 8:11 p.m. CST


    by TallanDagwood

    I have never been in a den that did not have at least one comfy chair!

  • Feb. 9, 2011, 8:41 p.m. CST

    Good answer!

    by FlickaPoo

    And it always seems to be the really seedy looking one with the stains...

  • Feb. 10, 2011, 7:13 a.m. CST

    The bible is fileld with lots of cool stories to be made into movies.

    by AsimovLives

    Very much like making movies out of greek and sumerian myths. Lots of cool stories in those myths. Myself i would love to see a movie about Gilgamesh, but done properly, MASTER & COMMANDER style, and not PATHFINDER or CLASH OF THE TITANS (remake) style. But just because one is making a movie out of a bible tale doesn't mean i have to believe what's depicted actually happened. I believe the accurate veracity of any of the bible stories as i believe the veracity of the legends of Perseus, Herakles and Jason and the argonauts. Which is, not much at all.

  • Feb. 10, 2011, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Isaac Asimov wrote a book callad A GUIDE TO THE BIBLE.

    by AsimovLives

    He took an historical and antropological perspective to the Bbile, and of course, many things in the good book are found wanting. Either contradictions, lack of internal logic or just plain bulslhitting about real historical events, Asimov show up how the Bible can match with real history. Many times the Bible really screws up history, but there are other times when it's suprising accurate, if we take it in a more parabolic/figurative way. And always, Asimov praised the beauty of many passages inthe bible, specially the hymns and psalms. Asimov called bulslhit on the historicity of the bible, but he loved it's literary merits.