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Massawyrm unleashes his 2010 very, very worst list!

Hola all. Massawyrm here.

Every year, I subject myself to a week of eye blistering, soul crushing, brain cell shredding torture as I plow through the very worst films of the year all in one go. Just about everything I hadn't yet seen with a notorious reputation gets screened here at the Casa de la Wyrm, whether it is going to make the list or not.  Truth is, only a small fraction of what I watch makes it in, but it lets me write my list in peace, confident that I saw everything truly awful and don't just shit out some lazy "These are the worst films I bothered to see this year and want to take some parting jabs at" list to tack on to my top 10. These are the 10 films that truly hurt, that pained me to watch all the way through.


10) Skyline. I always reserve my 10 spot for the very best-worst movie of the year, and this year, that movie is SKYLINE. The story of several douchebags, trapped in their swank, LA apartment during an alien invasion, this movie throws needless subplots at you in the vain hope of getting you to give a shit – when in truth it makes you hate its characters even more. Of course, that makes it all the better. If you cared, it wouldn’t be as funny. There is nothing clever or redeeming about SKYLINE except to say that it transcends its own awfulness and becomes funnier than it should be. The film goes from bad, to awful to fucking ridiculous and never, ever looks back. Beer plus SKYLINE equals an hour and a half that you probably won’t regret. Read my initial thoughts here.


9) Valentine's Day. This is what happens when an aging director calls in every favor he has left in hopes of making his own version of LOVE, ACTUALLY, but doesn’t actually square together solid enough of a script to get him the film he was hoping to make. When Ashton Kutcher is the very best thing about your movie, you have problems and boy howdy, this movie sure as shit has problems. It wants to be so much at once that it becomes a steady stream of nothing. The worst part of it is that you can see an honest to God movie swimming around in there, but one that is lost and drowning in a film that wants to surprise you with its twists rather than deliver simple, straight forward emotion. If this were a film about a florist on Valentine’s Day, jumping through hoops to save relationships or sidestep disasters, this could have been something. Instead, it’s about more characters than any sane person can pay attention to, all trying to hide something from you until the third act…with a florist. A total waste.


8) Resident Evil: Afterlife. I received more angry letters and tweets for not covering this wretched little mongrel than I’ve ever received for passing something up in the past. Apparently, some folks still feel the need to be warned off from the fourth bad film of a remarkably tainted franchise. But this one was the very worst of the series. Anderson desperately needs to take a cue from the Paul W.S Anderson that made DEATH RACE and stop using CG altogether if he can help it. This is a guy who needs to be making practical effect genre movies, not silly, CG festivals of farce that we can never, ever connect with. I don’t think I’ve ever given so little a shit about survivors of a zombie holocaust before, and I’ve seen BURIAL GROUND. Twice.


7) Vampires Suck. Friedberg. Seltzer. This is pretty much the same as every other shit-stain they've greased out over the last several years. To be fair, it is probably the best film they've ever made, if only because they spent more time imitating TWILIGHT than they did making fun of it. And on the upside, they hired an actress capable of mimicking every single one of Kristen Stewarts expressions (both of them). But it's still an unending run of low rent gay jokes, "remember that movie/TV show/cultural moment from 6 months ago" references, idiotic dance sequences, and whenever they can't think of anything else to do, somebody gets punched in the face inexplicably. These films are so lazy at this point that I can't even bring myself to get mad about them.


6) The Back-Up Plan. Oh dear Christ. Now we’re out of the bad films and into the utterly unwatchable ones. THE BACKUP PLAN is the stereotype of movies that do nothing but stereotype. It is so patently artificial and embarrassingly forced that it’s almost hard to believe that it is a real movie. But it is. And it was one of the most gut wrenching experiences I had of the year.


5) Gulliver’s Travels. Wow. Really? A Jack Black film made it onto my worst of the year list? Imagine my utter surprise. But GULLIVER’S TRAVELS isn’t just bad; it pushes the very boundaries of what is considered “juvenile.” The minute Gulliver gets to Lilliput, the first thing the movie does is pull down Gulliver’s pants and trips him so he can shove a Lilliputian up his ass. Moments later, the King is in mortal danger from a fire, with water nowhere in sight, so Gulliver must whip it out for King and country. And if gags like that weren’t enough, all it takes for Gulliver to woo the woman he’s been stalking for five years is to mention that he’s “had a crush” on her and that’s why he’s been skulking around her office so long. I don’t think this movie was simply written FOR Twelve-year-olds; I think it was actually written BY Twelve-year-olds.


4) My Soul to Take. The question isn’t “How could Wes Craven make such a bad movie?” He’s made terrible, terrible films before. CURSED anyone? The question here is whether or not this is the worst thing he’s ever made. It just might be. Dumped for obvious reasons and mostly ignored by everyone, this is one of those films that would have felt right at home in 1981, during the infamous glut of slasher horror knock offs, and still would have been completely forgotten. The film is about a schizophrenic killer named “The Ripper” (ooooh! Scaaarrrrry!) who may or may not have been killed on the same night as seven of the town’s teenage stereotypes were born. Now known chiefly for their shared birthday, this Jock, Slut, Religious fanatic, dork, token black guy, token goofy Asian guy and school weirdo must suddenly contend with the possible return of this killer on their 16th birthday. There are HUGE secrets that are obvious from the get go and silly plot twists that will just frustrate the living fuck out of you. This was the very definition of bad horror from a legendary director who continues to disappoint us time and again. Oh, and the ending will probably make you want to punch someone in the face for no other good reason.


3) Furry Vengeance. Holy fuck. Watching this back to back with MARMADUKE only served to show how the *exact same fucking story* can be told poorly and how it can be told in a manner that retroactively damages your very childhood. Where MARMADUKE tried its damndest to avoid butt-sniffing jokes and slipping in poo gags, FURRY VENGEANCE relishes them. In place of celebrity voice over, we get treated to visual thought bubbles over the heads of angry, sentient animals who are dead set on protecting their forest from developers – all while an out of shape Brendan Fraser mugs for the camera as he moronically wanders into every ridiculous Rube Goldberg trap these gleefully demonic woodland creatures set for him. It’s like watching ANTICHRIST for children, only you're the one that ejaculates blood.

And yet, nothing, I mean NOTHING, in the film can prepare you for how diabolically Lovecraftian the end credits are. I dare you to watch all the way through. Once you do, you will truly understand the nature of the elder gods.



Oh, Ken Jeong. Noooo.


2) The Last Airbender. Early last year, my wife and I decided to prepare for the release of THE LAST AIRBENDER by watching the original animated series AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER. Within a few episodes, we were hooked and plowed through the series, all the way to the end, enjoying the hell out of it while trying to turn on as many people to its overall awesomeness as we could. 20 minutes into this shitstorm and my wife did something she’s never once done to me during a film in our 16 years together; she said “I’m ready to go now.”  Not only is THE LAST AIRBENDER disrespectful of the original material, it is also just a good old fashioned terrible movie. And it only got worse. Easily the worst thing Shyamalan has ever done, this film redefined how awful a studio adaptation could be. Usually, even when adults hate the shit out of something, they have to roll their eyes at their children who – lacking a fully developed sense of taste – like it despite itself. But when even eight year olds want to hatefuck your movie in the face because you can’t even pronounce the name of the characters right, you’ve accomplished something truly special. It takes a real clusterfuck to make a kids movie that even kids hate. Way to go M. Night.


1) Standing Ovation.  When word got out that Legendary director Stewart Raffill had once again returned to the chair, no one was quite sure what to expect. It's hard to find a director as notorious as the one behind such dispicable awfulness as MAC AND ME, MANNEQUIN 2: ON THE MOVE and ICE PIRATES. But his exploits beyond the early 90's all seemed to fall flat - never again quite able to achieve the level of bad one would expect from someone capable of this: 


Well, he's back, baby! And this time Raffill has really outdone himself. STANDING OVATION is nothing but one inexplicable nonsequitur after another. Just when you think you have a bead on what the fuck this movie is doing BAM! it's doing something else entirely. Worse still, it feels like a Disney Channel film made with a complete and utter lack of adult supervision. There are dance routines performed in this by 12 year old girls that will destroy your career if anyone walks in on you watching it alone.


You know what you didn't see? Scorpions. Mobsters. Gambling addiction. Oh, and the jaw dropping final 15 minutes of the film. This film is a complete and total mess and a goldmine for connesuirs of truly terrible cinema. I hear this thing tore the roof off of the New Beverly when it played and I have friends so deeply in love with the utter insanity of it all that they're pissed I've even considered it for my worst of list - let alone for the top spot. You've not seen anything quite like it - nor should you without alcohol, friends and a strap around your chin to keep your mouth closed.

And those, my friends, are the very worst films of the year.

Until next time,


Follow my further zany adventures on Twitter.

Readers Talkback
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  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:03 a.m. CST


    by Darkefire

    Just had to do it, just once.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:07 a.m. CST

    Good List!...

    by BlackBriar

    Last Airbender was a massive pile of DogShit! No Twilight?? Iron-man 2 and Kick-Ass needs a honorable mentions. Watching both in the theater,pissed I wasted $11 Bucks.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:08 a.m. CST

    Hey! That's not nice!

    by TheSpaceHerpe

    Ice Pirates is awful, but its an awesome awful.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:11 a.m. CST

    Yayyyyyy! Crappy movies! I love this column every year!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Yes I do.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:16 a.m. CST

    my soul 2 take 3d

    by vulturess

    my wallet 2 take. wes craven has become a hollywood hack.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:20 a.m. CST


    by HornyForHarry

    are classics.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:30 a.m. CST

    i accidentally walked in on the credits for furry vengeance

    by antonphd

    watching a big gut Brendan Fraser dancing to an elevator rendition of Insane in the Membrane felt like I was seeing a real life version of that practical joke that Joaquin Phoenix did for the mock-documentary he made where he acts like he has completely gone off the deep end... cause i couldn't believe that Brendan Fraser really made this much of a fool of himself in this much of a piece of shit movie.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:30 a.m. CST

    My In-Laws love shitty movies...

    by Keblar

    They like well made films too though and know the difference. SO the whole adoration with schlock -which goes back to stuff like Flesh-Gordon (R not X version) and Polish Vampire in Burbank - is intentional. Problem is, they've gone beyond loving a film for it's irony; being so bad that it comes back around again. It's gotten so out of hand that they no longer just buy the DVD out of the Bargain Bin, or torrent them and have a group of friends over, or go to some travesty of a midnight double feature at the dollar theater, they go and see these goddamn atrocities on opening weekend! When these kind of abortions actually make money in the theater, it ceases to possess ANY irony. Now you're just a sucker paying good money to lap up a shit sandwich and laugh about it, instead of spitting it out and being furious like you should be. When they get a group of colleagues together to go to stuff like "In the Name of the King" on opening night, I keep trying to tell them that they're violating the reason for enjoying bad films, but it's increasingly falling on deaf ears. As consumers, we usually get the movies we deserve, so be careful of the praise applied to garbage, lest producers/accountants misunderstand the entusiasm.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:31 a.m. CST

    Good read, as always Mass.

    by beastie

    I rarely agree with you on the movies that count (these don't), but I always enjoy your articles.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:31 a.m. CST

    You forgot 'Easy A'

    by Daniel2010

    Awful movie. 2/10. Worst movie of the year in my books alongside 'Gullivar's Travels'.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:32 a.m. CST

    I'm convinced Fraser has developed a serious Rx habit

    by Keblar

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Oh my god...

    by ufoclub1977

    I saw "Schindler's List" 3 or 4 times on the big screen when it came out... I feel it is so full of all kinds of good stuff... but I just glanced at the tv, and "Clash of the Titans" is on... and I see Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes together again in ... such...a...silly....way.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:38 a.m. CST


    by MaxTheSilent

    THE LAST AIRBENDER is absolutely the most wretched pile of shit of the last 15 years. It's a staggeringly wretched sack of sputum based on a truly magnificent original series. M. Night Shyamalan should never be allowed to even fetch coffee on a movie set ever again.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Massa, you have explaining to do.

    by SebastianHaff

    What the fuck is wrong with Burial Ground? I repeat, WHAT the FUCK is wrong with Burial Ground??? <br><p> Is it the constant female nudity? <br><p> The crazy insane spaghetti zombie gore? <br><p> The badass 70's style synthesizer score?? <br><p> The random incest love scene? <br><p> The tit biting??? Goddamnit, sir, I almost always agree with you, but I just can't wrap my head around this. Burial Ground is one of the finest films of all time.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:39 a.m. CST

    What sucks is that Vampires Suck made more than Scott Pilgrim-

    by Kamaji

    -worldwide! Sadly, VS probably gave the parody genre an extra shot of adrenaline to keep going for another couple 'slop here' movie.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:44 a.m. CST

    Ice Pirates

    by Dark_deco_fan

    How dare you tarnish the great name of "Ice Pirates." I hope you're castrated AND get space herpes. Massawyrm!!!! I shake my fist in anger at you.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:48 a.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    The Massawyrm who loved it as a child would agree with you - the one who watched it recently, however...

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:49 a.m. CST


    by diseptikon

    I was just about to wish space herpes upon Massawyrm for his blasphemy!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:55 a.m. CST

    Don't forgot Dinner For Schmucks....

    by BlackBriar

    One massive waste of time watching that Shit!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:23 a.m. CST

    WYRM is right

    by frank cotton

    watch it again and see

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:25 a.m. CST

    Just watching the Standing Ovation trailer killed a part of my soul, but...

    by Doctor_Strangepork

    ...I felt an entirely new, homosexual part of my soul being born.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:52 a.m. CST

    Skyline review almost had me convinced...

    by fustfick

    Your original Skyline review was so hilarious I came pretty close to catching it opening weekend. Until I remembered, under identical circumstances, falling in a pile of shit called Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. Oh well. At least there's always In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:54 a.m. CST

    Fraser just fired his agent . . .

    by Man in Suit

    . . . and signed on to do a Neil LaBute film. I think those Cypress Hill-perverting closing credits may have been the catalyst. You can't say "check that ass like a looter in a riot" in a song in a G rated movie? I hope makes a comeback.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:59 a.m. CST

    You Forgot Clash Of The Titans...

    by Grimmjow Jeagerjaques

    I just saw this shit today. I don't think I've ever seen a movie in my life that was as meaningless as this one. By "meaningless" I mean nothing, NOTHING at all in this entire film mattered. You don't give a damn about the characters, you don't give a damn about the story. you don't give a damn about the sfx. Nothing. I'm not going to act like the original was a masterpiece, hell I haven't even seen it in a dog's age, but I'm willing to bet I'd like it better than this bullshit. Wooden acting by damn near everybody, no personality in most of the characters, Andromeda could've died for all I cared, it's not like Perseus actually gave a fuck about her. The Kraken was fucking useless. I would've been better off watching the trailers and having that be my full experience with this movie. The trailers were a lot better than the whole thing.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:59 a.m. CST


    by Shubniggorath

    Total classic. Up there with Yor: Hunter From the Future ( am I getting that title right???).

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:14 a.m. CST

    FUCK YOU MASSAWYRM!!! Ice Pirates is a classic

    by Han Cholo

    How can you not love Space Herpes? Robert Urich kicks ass too dammit!!!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:20 a.m. CST


    by Grrrr....

    ...that Furry Vengeance credit sequence was probably the most painfully unfunny thing I have ever had to watch....

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:24 a.m. CST

    OH MY GOD: tell me STANDING OVATION is an amateur film!

    by golden tribw

    Tell me that's a fucking amateur indie film. There's no way more than 500 bucks were spent on such a thing, right???

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Jonathan Swift

    by board shitlez

    is responsible for the urination to put out fire scene in the original novel, so as one of the few bits true to Gulliver's Travels should probably give Jack Black a break on that one. As puerile parts go, there is also a suggestion that Gulliver is used as a dildo by the massive Brobdingnagians.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:35 a.m. CST

    swift cont

    by board shitlez

    Mind you re the pissing scene, it was probably more of a comment on the nature of man's relationship with the state from Swift rather than a dick gag. Maybe both.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:35 a.m. CST

    Um, Ever Actually Read Gulliver's Travels?

    by wampa_one

    He actually does urinate to put out a fire. Not that that link to the source material actually saves this wretched dung heap of a movie, but let's give credit where credit is due. Crack open a book once in a while, why don't you?

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:37 a.m. CST

    Birdemic: Shock and Terror

    by fustfick

    Oh yeah...I saw Birdemic: Shock and Terror this year at the Silent Theater in L.A. I can't recommend it enough and, at the same time, it probably belongs on this list. That said, IMDb gives it a 2008 maybe it doesn't qualify?

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:40 a.m. CST

    I'm with you on Airbender

    by old_man_and_the_sea

    such a betrayal of the excellent source material still upsets me.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 3:26 a.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    I don't remember ever saying that particular scene wasn't drawn from the source material, just that it illustrates perfectly the film I saw.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 3:28 a.m. CST

    Mac & Me

    by damned-dirty-ape

    Haven't seen that film in years. Loved as a kid but i obviously dont recall much of it as i don't remember a large dance scene or a kid in a wheelchair who seems to be a main character. All i remember is Macs parents finding him and they are in a car at the end blowing giant chewing gum bubbles saying 'we'll be back'. That worked out then.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 3:42 a.m. CST

    Ice pirates

    by Grrrr....

    I had to google that.... then found this trailer on youtube: .Almost looks like Korey Coleman playing the token black pirate....

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 3:48 a.m. CST

    Fustfick - I have a bone to pick with you!

    by I_Love_LanaLang

    Fustfick said, "Until I remembered, under identical circumstances, falling in a pile of shit called Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li." Clearly, you were either watching a different movie or your taste in film is utterly wretched. The incomparable and lovely Kristin Kreuk gave an amazing performance in that movie. She absolutely owned that role. She became the living and breathing personification of Chun-Li. I might add that the show Smallville has never been the same without the scene stealing talents of Ms. Kreuk. She WAS the reason for Smallville's succes. I will never, ever, forget your shameful post. At the very least, you owe a heartfelt apology to Ms. Kreuk and to her legions of fans who admire her acting brilliance.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:02 a.m. CST


    by damned-dirty-ape

    Please tell me you are joking and just having a laugh. Legend of Chun-Lee was a stinking turd and Smallville has only improved since she left. Kreuk is beautiful to look at but only has a couple of expressions to give at any one time. She's either doing the same fixed smile or the confused look and thats it. Hell she even made Chuck boring in the few episodes she had, fair enough she didn't bring the state of depression she brought in smallville for her last years, but the episodes came to a halt when she was in them.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:26 a.m. CST

    Scott Pilgrim belongs on that list

    by SirBiatchReturns

    What a pile of crap that movie was.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:33 a.m. CST

    even without any intoxication...

    by brightgeist

    i enjoyed the hell out of SKYLINE :) i found it to be quite intense and unpredictable actually, and the final scene was something else anyway. on that note, i also love THE CAPE, i have no idea how people don't see it as brilliant.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:50 a.m. CST


    by fettitular

    the only film i've seen on your list was The Last Airbender. And that was entirely intentional. Just wanted to see how truly fucking awful that flick was... And boy WAS IT! I've seen every M. Night Shyamalan flim to date, and they just continue to get worse and worse. Didn't think he could top the atrocity that was "The Happening", but he may have in Airbender! It really is sad, seeing as how brilliant his debut was. His 2nd wasn't too bad either... My 10 worst films of the year: 10. Hot Tub Time Machine 9. Shutter Island 8. Robin Hood 7. Kick-Ass 6. Daybreakers 5. Edge of Darkness 4. The Last Airbender 3. Youth In Revolt 2. Catfish 1. Predators I can defend any one of those awful to merely "dissapointing" flicks. So i can elaborate on them further, if it's necessary...

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:52 a.m. CST

    Resident Evil

    by CimmerianWarrior

    I have loved all of those films. they are great movies because they have added style and matrix type bullit time Milla is Gorges. You cannot have a movie about dead people coming back to life and have an Oscar contender. What do people whant from resident evil that they aren't getting. It's a video game franchise. What is wrong with that you could fix?

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:52 a.m. CST

    And there are many bad movies that i chose not to see...

    by fettitular

    Including Scotty Pilgrim. I also skipped just about all of the terrible films that were obvious to anybody with a discernable eye for shit film ;-) So basically, all those films on my list had at least the POTENTIAL to be decent.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:58 a.m. CST

    Jesus, cimmerianwarrior....

    by fettitular

    Is a decent PLOT or SCRIPT too much to ask for? How about an inspired cast or director? Treating the source material well? Making on an honest attempt to create a unique and engaging film experience?? The R.E. films didn't make an attempt to do ANY of this. If you had played the video games, you wouldn't be asking those questions either... The "films" payed no attention to the games' incredible ATMOSPHERE/TONE/AMBIANCE, etc... They turned them into boring "shoot 'em up's". They should have been straight horror. Check out the Romero script that's floating around the 'net. While not "perfect", it's definitely better than the shit films we were given, and it payed way more homage to the video games than the P.W.S. turds... Does that sorta answer your questions?

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 5:03 a.m. CST

    The R.E. films failed in each one of these categories:

    by fettitular

    Script/dialogue/pacing, casting, acting, score/soundtrack, direction/cinematography, set design, editing, style, atmosphere/tone, generation of tension/suspense/horror, etc... and those are just off the top of my head lol We aren't asking for CITIZEN KANE here, man... it's just that Anderson's films failed in every conceivable aspect of film-making, no matter WHAT genre or type of film you're making... Hell, check out 28 Days Later or even the Dawn of the Dead remake to see how a zombie flick COULD be done well... and you can add pretty much all of Romero's zombie flicks to the list of zombie films better than R.E. Too many to count!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:25 a.m. CST

    A hilarious list...

    by LoneGun usual. This was the best laugh I had all week. The clips were insane.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:31 a.m. CST


    by fettitular

    Mac and Me was the SHIT!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:44 a.m. CST

    Res evil

    by Candy ass monkey suit

    No way was Res evil 4 one of the worst movies of the year. I could name a loads more that were a lot worse. I actually thought it was better than 2 and 3.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:51 a.m. CST

    No Jonah Hex?

    by Crow3711

    Not that I saw it, but its been on basically every worst ten list I've seen. Hard to believe there were ten movies this year that were actually worse than that apparent monstrosity.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:53 a.m. CST

    Jonah Hex?!?

    by fettitular

    The Great Armond White proclaimed it to be "superior" to True Grit. Jonah Hex is undoubtedly a MASTERPIECE.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:55 a.m. CST

    You do know that Swift's Gulliver did piss on fire?

    by JackPumpkinhead

    Guess not.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 7:14 a.m. CST

    Best thing I've read on here in years ....

    by fpuk99

    Thanks Massawyrm.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Hilarious Massa

    by Mark

    Great read. I could only stomach 58 secs of the Furry Vengeance end credits.

  • ...imagine my disappointment after watching that trailer. You mean I broke out the lube for nothing?

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 7:43 a.m. CST

    am I crazy or?

    by The_Crimson_King

    isn't Gulliver pissing to put out a fire in the book? if not it's in the Milo Manara version, I know that

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 8:09 a.m. CST


    by adml_shake

    I hope thats sarcasm, or I'm going to assume that you and Armond White have had some sort of stroke that is causing you mental problems.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Last Airbender

    by Judge Briggs

    Loved the show and I am baffled that Hollywood couldn't adapt it properly to the big screen. I mean, the show writes itself!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Brooke Shields gotta eat?

    by Meglos

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 8:23 a.m. CST


    by DEX

    That capsule review of Airbender was perfect. That's all that needs to be said!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Poor Brendan Fraiser

    by David Cloverfield

    That video is horrifying. He has such a stupid cartoon face and he's instantly likable, how can he end up in so many terrible movies.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 8:35 a.m. CST


    by phifty2

    I...uhh...kind of liked it. It's starts great, has no tacked on bullshit sub plots, and delivers on the premise. The Fishburne character was stupid and not needed but other than that I liked it. All I wanted was a group of people trapped on a planet being hunted by aliens. I got that. To me it never devolved into parody, cliches(there are some but that comes with the territory with this type of film) or stupidity. Really don't get the hate. If this film had been made in the 70's(and I say this a lot what with everyone going apeshit over "grindhouse" type films) it would be a considered a classic.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 8:56 a.m. CST

    I want to murder the kids in standing ovation..

    by alienindisguise

    it's always a shame that studios, investors and producers put up money to make horse shit.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Where's MACGRUBER?!?!?

    by Graphix67

    Oh that's right! AICN worked a deal to shamelessly pimp that steaming pile of shit for the studio. So therefore, no "AICN Worst Of 2010" list is allowed to feature it.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:12 a.m. CST

    I Wanted To Know Why STanding Ovation Was So Bad...

    by frakthetoasters

    ...and seeing the trailer gave me the answer. It should not be released in theaters. It should be on one of those children Disney channels or Nickelodeon. That's where it belongs.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:13 a.m. CST

    Predator is worse than Resident Evil: Afterlife

    by frakthetoasters

    If for one reason that Predator lacks the eye candy Resident Evil had (Jovovich, Larter). Plus Resident Evil had the zombie with the huge axe. That was awesome.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Don't get the Airbender hate.

    by JTStarkiller

    It's not a good movie by any means, but I didn't think it was nearly as bad as everyone keeps saying. Don't think it deserves to be listed higher than Vampires Suck, Valentine's Day, and The Back-Up Plan, that's for sure.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Why hate on the Ice Pirates, Homey!!

    by cookylamoo

    Robot pimp gonna cap you in the ass.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Brendon Fraiser is old and fat

    by cookylamoo

    And Sir Ian Mckellen is trim and still sexy at his age. Homosexuals win again. Who's the Whale now?

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Gulliver hosing down the fire....

    by DellsDontBounce

    Not defending the movie - never saw it -, but that actually happens in the original Jonathan Swift book. I believe it was in the Ted Danson version, as well.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Clerks 2 vs Mac & Me dance sequence

    by girugamesh

    Uncanny how they resemble each other.. Rock on Kevin Smith!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:06 a.m. CST

    These are all worse than...

    by ketchuplover

    Sex & The City 2? I find that impossible to believe.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:09 a.m. CST

    That Standing O Trailer looks like it was cut on iMovie HD

    by acamp

    That's not a cheap shot. I'm completely serious. Look at the fonts.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:12 a.m. CST

    I liked Ice Pirates, but I'm old. I saw it in the theater.

    by jawsfan

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:16 a.m. CST


    by JBouganim1

    WTF MAN...FIRST HARRYBOT AND NOW YOU ARE HATING ON MAC AND ME! what is this world coming to

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:18 a.m. CST

    I enjoyed the Resident Evil movie. Did you see Nutcracker 3D?

    by DadTimesTwo

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:38 a.m. CST

    fettitular which RE movies did you see?

    by jack black

    the alternate universe 234566 editions?

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:39 a.m. CST

    "hatefuck your movie in the face"

    by MC-909

    Hey Massa, good job on COMPLETELY RIPPING OFF one of's best jokes. You fucking bum. I usually enjoy your articles but not when you steal jokes from more relevant websites. However, if you change your name to Menciawyrm then all will be forgiven.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Worst Movies Lists

    by trojanwilliams

    Seriously though what is the point of these lists? To show us how many movies you watched this year or just to tell us what movies you didn't like so that we don't watch them either (in the chance we share exactly the same taste in films). Either way I don't get it.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 11:06 a.m. CST

    I count myself lucky...

    by impossibledreamers

    I only saw one of these turds. And I don't really count Airbender, since it was part of a double-feature at a drive-in...

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Don't be dissin' on Ice Pirates on your bad reviews

    by Jeditemple

    Ice Pirates was funny as hell back in the day...and is a classic 80's movie. So bad it's good. I too am wondering about the ability of good reviews on this site.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 11:16 a.m. CST

    That McDonald's

    by bhu987us

    Largest. McDonald's. Ever.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 11:17 a.m. CST


    by Randy_of_AFTimes

    Even barring my own decidedly-inappropriate hatred of Paul W.S. "Motherfucking!" Anderson, I've enjoyed most of the previous three RE movies. I know what they are and I accept them for it-bad ass chicks fighting zombies with guns and zombie-dog-fu. But this felt like a real slap in the face to the audience. As I watched, I got the sense of this being a half-baked crapp idea with no love or care put into it, made for fans of the previous films only because the producers know they'd go see it no matter what. Like I did. The opening sequence was the worst feeling of being a Boss level gone wrong. No suspense, no energy-just something to get through before the real story starts. Just, pardon the pun, dead and devoid of life Or maybe I just wanted to see more piles of dead Alices? I can't really bitch about the acting because, well, if there's nothing for you to do, there's no reason for you to act! Characters die off for no other reason than it had been a few minutes since we lost someone to the zombies. What a waste of Kim Coates, especially. I won't even go into the logic issues or the lame 3D use. Why bother? BUT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT AXEMAN ABOUT?!?! But what really pissed me off is that there's maybe thirty minutes of story stretched, padded and wrenched to a 90 minutes running time... AND sets up ANOTHER sequel?! You couldn't do it in THIS movie?! Really? REALLY?! Well, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you right back, Paul! Do us all a favor and stay home & fuck Milla and stay out of the multiplex! Limey fuck... Oh, and I got about 1:12 into the FURRY VENGEANCE end credits and had to bail.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 11:53 a.m. CST

    More hatred of RE:AFTERBIRTH

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    All that randy said above, and the fact that "videogame fanatic" Paul WS Anderson would include the afore mentioned Axman, just because it was a character in Resident Evil 5. As well as the "Blade 2" dogs. He's playing the game and thinks, "Hey, this is cool. I should include it in the movie." Whether it makes a lick of sense or not. Just plug shit in. And you know there will be Resident Evil:Siege..or whatever..sad but true.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Yes, Clash of the Titans was that bad.

    by obi_juan

    For the inclusion of that arabian CGI character alone it should make the worst 10.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Damn Good List

    by Muldoon

    Yes, yes, and yes.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:17 p.m. CST


    by Meadowe

    I thought it would suq but I didn't know how bad. And thanqs for the head's up on furry vengeance...I WAS gonna cheq it out because one of my mom's faves was Brooke Shields, but I guess I'll cheq it out at someone's house or on broadcast tv. And I wanted to see Afterlife because of Wentworth Miller, but now I doubt it.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:26 p.m. CST

    I don't get the Valentine's Day hate

    by room23storeblogspotcom

    Well I get it because its a Chick Flick, but as far as Chick Flicks go its actually not that bad.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:36 p.m. CST

    The only thing good about RE Afterlife..

    by Stalkeye

    ..was the decent use of Cameron's 3D technology.(liked the blood splatter effect as well as the raindrops during the opening credits.)Other than that, the movie was more disappointing than the previous RE films and what's more insulting to fans of the videogames is Weasel Shit Anderson trying to recreate the fight scene from the RE5 Game. fuck, Wesker in this film looks too much like val kilmer and as far as i'm concerned they might as well have hired val since he's not doing anything major nowadays. Also might I add, what the fuck was with the injoke of Wentworth's character being held inside a prison? Chris Redfield is more of a cooler protagonist than fucking Alice in Zombieland. Then there's Boris Kodjie doing a Jordan leap to save a plane from falling off the building.I mean Whatdefuck?!? The post credits ending just dumb, with Jill Valentine prancing like sme dumb supermodel inside a troop transport helicopter. Fuck, even Kim Coates' role was wasted and the guy is brilliant in sons of anarchy. Sony, should just hand over the rights back to capcom so that a studio who actually cares about the franchise would give it a reboot. can't fault massa on this one.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:43 p.m. CST

    I enjoy the RE movies.

    by sweeneydave

    I expect them to be crap. But they are crap with wacky guns and zombies and Milla Jovovich. And it's dependable. I love that they continue to make more, even though the movies aren't getting any better. It's fun.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:49 p.m. CST

    I'll admit it

    by shodan6672

    I laughed : "And yet, nothing, I mean NOTHING, in the film can prepare you for how diabolically Lovecraftian the end credits are. I dare you to watch all the way through. Once you do, you will truly understand the nature of the elder gods."

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 12:49 p.m. CST


    by shodan6672

    Pretty lame attempt to provoke a response.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Dear Massawyrm. A response

    by Dark_deco_fan

    After your comment I watched the first part of Ice Pirates again. (Thank you Youtube) While I agree its not great, It does have Bruce Vilanch after all. It is not as bad as Mac and Me. Every once in a while a director makes a decent film. He might have just had a GREAT editor. Example: I hate Joel Schumacher. But he did make a film I enjoy watching called Flawless. Its not great but enjoyable. I'm still waiting for that one watchable Uwe Ball film. Ice Pirates falls into this category. So I, after a partial re-viewing of Ice Pirates. I still disagree with you. I will also chip in 5 buck for castration surgery. I will not help pay for treatment of your space herpes.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:27 p.m. CST


    by Ravyn

    The only good thing i can say about Airbender is that it looked beautiful. The sets, the costumes, Appa and Momo, all looked great. I wasn't pleased with the casting choices, but they could have been worse. hopefully Noah Ringer can act given a good script and director, (we'll find out in Cowboys vs. Aliens) so I won't fault him yet, but at least they could have followed the story more faithfully.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:33 p.m. CST

    furry vengeance end credits are the very face of corporate

    by UltraTron

    evil. You can now insert this clip in place of ever mentioning the word fox or the name Rupert Murdoch,etc. This is now the most horrible thing in memory. Brenden Frasier: whoever died and broke your heart to the point where you let yourself go like that.. You have to move on man. It's a new year! Get off those prescription drugs, smoke some pot and get on the treadmill. Glad to see you finally doing roles suited for you though

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 1:58 p.m. CST

    No The Lottery Ticket?

    by Quadrillionaire

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:06 p.m. CST


    by Stalkeye

    "Anderson is a shitty writer, but a solid journeyman genre director - which is why EH is his best, because he didn't write it. The intense hatred of him on this site is undeserved.." No Turd, it's well deserved.First of all Anderson orginally wanted the first RE Movie to have a PG-13 rating because it would bring in a bigger audience i.e. box office draw.His AVP was a huge commercial and critical flop yet it had a PG-13 rating and also might I add, a lame ass story and silly direction. (That laughable shot in which Latham and The Pred run off like batman and robin really showcased Paul Wanker Stain Anderson's "great" talents.) His only saving grace would be Event Horizon and to a lesser extent, Mortal Kombat. Having him helm a film based on a venerable videogame property like Resident Evil is almost akin to schumacher making a Batman film... ...oh wait.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Turd: like.. What the fuck.. are you talking about..

    by UltraTron

    man? Go on if you wish. Do tell.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Skyline wasnt as bad as people say

    by lostboytexas

    true, it wasnt great but its a typical sci-fi flick. nothing special but not as bad as people say. the twist at the end was unique so it gets point for that. not that anyone who reviewed this flick mentioned the ending at all. makes me think...

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Jumping on the turd bashwagon

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    Lets not forget Soldier, another non-Anderson written film that COULD have been good if it wasn't for Anderson's ham-fisted direction. Calling Wright inferior to Anderson is one of the bizarre statements I've read here recently (outside of everything Harry writes). Anderson begs, borrows and steals whatever "ideas" he films. Hell, in RE:A he is still stealing from goddam The Matrix...The Mutha-Fn' Matrix!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:23 p.m. CST

    what about The Nutcracker in 3D & Cielito Lindo?

    by newbeverlymidnights

    Having seen nearly all of the movies you listed (in theaters!), I can assure you that The Nutcracker in 3D & Cielito Lindo were far, far, far worse than any of them. Truly two of the worst viewing experiences I've ever had. IMDb lists Cielito Lindo as having come out in 2007. However, it only made it to Los Angeles in 2010. But then again, I saw Standing Ovation twice theatrically, bought the soundtrack & dvd, and proudly wear my SO hoodie nearly every day.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Ken Jeong's gotta pay the rent

    by plataboy

    I love that guy but those credits are beyond fucked up. They are so bad they make Brooke Shields look ugly. And I have to agree, Cop Out really deserved a place on this list.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 2:37 p.m. CST

    "Vampires Suck made more than Scott Pilgrim"

    by BurnHollywood

    Your hipster tears...they taste so sweet!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 3:43 p.m. CST

    RE films transcend criticism.

    by blackwood

    They are loved by millions, for both ironic and non-ironic reasons. Personally, I dig that each plays out like a puffed-up B-movie serial story. It has gotten a bit worse as the franchise has gone one, but the RE films are, to me, about ridiculous endings that find some way to keep the story going... and horrendously disappointing beginnings, where the 'promise' of the previous chapter is completely and utterly betrayed. AFTERLIFE was the worst of these, taking the super-cool concept of an army of Alices, lead but the psionic superpowered Alpha Alice, and throwing them away in a ten minute lab shoot-out -- and then taking away super Alice's super powers five minutes later, so we can't even delight in her still-improbable survivability and ninja skills. BUT the 3D was used well and that big pyramid-head rip-off was pretty cool. I am fond of the films. I don't dispute RE:A's place on this list. I will probably go see the next one and continue to be part of the problem.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 3:55 p.m. CST


    by AJD_1

    Really can't understand why people hate this movie. Kids seem to love it. As for being on the worst movie list, have you guys seen Cop Out? Clash of the Titans? Prince of Persia??? Those movies were way worse than Airbender!!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:18 p.m. CST

    The movie that annoyed me the most this year

    by Keith

    Shutter Island. Fucking awful. HILARIOUSLY awful. *** SPOILERS IF YOU'RE AN IDIOT *** I was simultaneously amused and offended that the film simply led up to the "twist" that any rational viewer could have seen coming after 20 minutes. I was hoping for some kind of double-twist: sure, we made it LOOK really obviously as though it was going to end one way, but - check this out! - we're doing something different. But no. Everything went exactly down the default route. I mean, it was The Cabinet of Dr Caligari, for fuck's sake! One of the oldest and most obvious plots of all time! DiCaprio is clearly deranged, and he's investigating a case at a mental asylum. What on EARTH might be happening here, eh? Total fucking garbage. Although it made me laugh out loud at its badness, so I guess it gets a few points for entertainment value.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Most overrated movies of the year

    by Keith

    Maybe that would make for a more interesting list. What would be #2, after Inception?

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:40 p.m. CST

    where's inception?

    by Arbifax


  • Jan. 12, 2011, 4:42 p.m. CST

    Turd, you have a point that Anderson may be comperable

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    to the one hit hacks like Lester or Cosmatos of the '80s (who were lucky enough to snag a Stallone or Arnuld to star in), or the current hacks like Rob Cohen and John Moore, and you did call his output "mediocre to awful", which would be pretty damn accurate. What boggles my mind is bringing up Wright. There is more artistry and wit in the one take scene in Shaun Of The Dead, when Shaun walks to the market unaware of the mayhem around him, then the entire filmic resume of Anderson.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Raffill did direct the Philidelphia Experiment.

    by mjgtexas

    His post-Philly resume seems to point to some evangelical conversion of crappy Christian films.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Where Social Network or Iron Man 2?

    by HollywoodHellraiser

    That should have at least been #10. Or how about The Karate Kid remake? C'mon I know these films made money but they awful! Now add Transformer and the Twilight film and maybe you can find your honesty!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:02 p.m. CST

    lol @ all the TURD bashing

    by fettitular

    Ahhhhh, i love it ;-) Hey Turd! While you're making absolutely RIDICULOUS statements here, simply in order to provoke "controversy", to garner some negative attention... that which you thrive on (as shodan pointed out: "Pretty lame attempt to provoke a response.") Haha... indeed, sir. Why don't you tell us how frickin' AWESOME the STAR WARS PREQUELS were again! Those were good times...

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:03 p.m. CST

    A single SHOT in Shaun of the Dead...

    by fettitular

    demonstrated far more talent, skill, and forethought than all of P.W.S.A's films COMBINED. FACT.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:07 p.m. CST

    Hot Fuzz was definitely shit though...

    by fettitular

    And i haven't seen Scotty Pilgrim yet, and i am assuming that's it's just as bad, if not worse than Fuzz. So don't go accusing me of being an Edgar Wright Fanboy or some shit... But the fact of the matter is, that Shaun of the Dead is a fucking CLASSIC... and that film alone proves how much better a film-maker he is than your beloved Paul "Wet Shit" Anderson... Event Horizon and Mortal Kombat > Shaun? Are you fucking SERIOUS, mate?!? lmao

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Turd is really giving Braindrain a run for his money...

    by fettitular

    In terms of being the BIGGEST MOTARD TALKBACKER here... Fascinating.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:11 p.m. CST


    by fettitular

    Good fucking call on the Shaun of the Dead "walk to the market" shot. That's exactly what i was talking about in my previous post. Good work, sir!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:34 p.m. CST

    fettitular - you know what they say

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    Great minds...

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Damn skippy!

    by fettitular


  • Jan. 12, 2011, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Social Network as one of the worst films of the year?

    by Keith

    Yeah, RIGHT. It was one of the three best.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 8:59 p.m. CST

    Bounty Hunter??? Love Happens??? Any Jen Anniston movie???

    by Punisherthunder

    What about those? You left her out dude.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 9:39 p.m. CST

    "Appa was reduced to a flying Taxi"

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    Um...that's pretty much what he IS in the animated series...just a way for the characters to traverse great distances without having to walk everywhere (kind of like "beaming up" on Star Trek, which neatly avoided the need to have a landing sequence in every single episode). He doesn't have a personality, he just stands around and grunts whenever he's not carrying the characters anywhere. Personally, I find the frothing hatred aimed at Last Airbender somewhat overwrought. It's certainly a poor adaptation of the (excellent) source material -- it's glum, humorless, badly-miscast, and the incessant mispronounciation of the characters' names is downright insulting -- but it also has fine visual effects (Appa and Momo looked fantastic), cinematography, a superb score, and at least one sequence (the "Blue Devil" prison break scene) that appreciably apes the kinetic action sequences of the show. It's a C+ movie at worst, and FAR from the worst movie Shymalan has ever made ("Be scientific, douchebag...!").

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10 p.m. CST

    Oh Turd... you're too cute!

    by fettitular

    It's pretty simple actually... You are truly the worst talkbacker on this entire site... When you're not busy demonstrating your awful, AWFUL taste in film... by defending cinematic GARBAGE such as the resident evil films, paul w.s. anderson, and the fucking star wars prequels... or attacking quality cinema like Shaun of the Dead, etc... you're miserable, insufferable ass is constantly picking fights with the mods by screaming obscenities at Harry and co. So, for the last time... FUCK OFF. :-)

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:04 p.m. CST

    It's just too easy to rile you up...

    by fettitular

    and get under your skin, man! I enjoy watching you throw tantrums. Or "Bitch-Fits" as i like to call them :-)

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:06 p.m. CST

    Oh, and props to BRAINDRAIN...

    by fettitular

    For adding so much to the discussion, as usual! Keep it up, Ryan :-D

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:19 p.m. CST

    And Turd...

    by fettitular

    If i appear to be "obsessed" with you, as you claim... it's only in the same manner that everyone else here is obsessed with Braindrain. He's simply an enigma of stupidity that just cannot be ignored! The obsession, as you call it, comes from that burning desire that we humans feel to explain the unexplainable... to rationalize the irrational, etc. So yes, i am intrigued by you the same way a psychologist is intrigued by a bizarre new patient they are introduced to... Cheers!

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:28 p.m. CST

    Hahahaha! I got to 1:18...

    by Jaka

    ...and couldn't finish watching the Furry Vengeance credits. Awful.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Hey, Bounty Hunter really wasn't that bad.

    by Jaka

    Granted, I saw it for free, which can help. Certainly wasn't a "best of" movie, and it was as predictable as all those movies are. But I didn't hate the characters on the screen and I actually laughed a couple times.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 10:30 p.m. CST

    Ice Pirates...

    by Jaka

    ...RULES! It's one of those things that I saw when I young, before the internet, so I didn't realize until years later that there was a whole group of people who loved that film even though it was awful. Maybe BECAUSE it was awful, but still fun.

  • Jan. 12, 2011, 11:58 p.m. CST

    Mass suprised a Jack Black movie made his worst list?

    by 77AD

    Did he see Year One? Jack Black is just one on a long list of hollywood comedic actors that need to take a hiatus and reexamine their stale shit.

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 12:27 a.m. CST


    by CimmerianWarrior

    No, you did not answer my questions. A "decent plot, script" etc. is all opinion. There simply is no way to make Citizen Kane out of dead people eating live people. It cannot be done. To imply otherwise is ridiculous. Zombie movies are always going to be silly because the entire premise is silly. Nothing can be done about it. If it was/were able to be done, they've had 30 plus years to do it and no one has done it yet. Plot, Dead people walk and eat live people, and can only die (again) by being shot in the head or decapitated". I ask you, what difference does a head shot make when the blood has stopped flowing and the brain is already dead anyway? There is absolutely no way possible to make an award winning zombie film. Resident evil is an awesome franchise. Games and movies both.

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 4:24 a.m. CST


    by fettitular

    Your reading comprehension skills are simply TERRIBLE. Go read a book.... or 2, and get back to me. You didn't address a single point i made in my previous posts, as you keep harping on the same inane points that you made before... Like the citizen kane reference for example. Go re-read my post again, man... i clearly stated that it DOESN'T HAVE to be citizen kane. As i said before, go read the George Romero script that's floating around the internet and you'll see what i mean. You'll get a taste for what a halfway decent Res Evil film would look like. Capiche?

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 4:28 a.m. CST

    Braindrain... *AHEM* RYAN...

    by fettitular

    How many times do i have to tell you.... I DIDN'T SEE SCOTTY FUCKING PILGRIM. And without seeing it, i can only imagine just how awful it really is... What makes you keep thinking that i enjoy that P.O.S.?? This is just bizarre, man... your memory is just as shitty as your taste in film, your grammar and your coherency. Sum'bitch! Oh and i hated Kick-Ass as well... That's another flick you keep accusing me of liking. So go write some of this shit down, so i don't have to keep correcting you... and get off that silly "hipster" shit, 'cause i couldn't be further from that asinine sub-culture of shitheads. Have a nice day :-)

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 4:42 a.m. CST

    Holy shit, "Standing Ovation" looks fucking AWESOME

    by fettitular

    Fine i'll be the first to say it... that chick (yeah, you know which one i'm talking about...) is gonna be fuckin' SMOKING in a couple of years. And this is coming from a perfectly normal, healthy, adult male. Heh.

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 7:59 a.m. CST

    And the funny thing is about movies 7-10...

    by Shan

    They all made a profit, from Skyline (a decent pile) to Resident Evil 4 (ridiculous amounts in spite of the weakest script of the 4).

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 9:10 a.m. CST


    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    BRAINDRAIN has called another movie overlong and boring!!! A - fuckin - mazing!! well at least he's consistent

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 10:09 a.m. CST


    by riggs_and_murtaghs_love_child

    I can see we have the usual intelligent rational discussions in here. The retards in this place have just become more and more stupid as time has gone on. Trolls are not even trolls anymore, they are stupid, nonsensical fools who think they are being entertaining, when they are just showing the world how utterly irrelevant they really are. No wonder this site has gone into the toilet.

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 11:15 a.m. CST Mannequin 2 and Ice Pirates are AMAZING.

    by Crimson King

  • Jan. 13, 2011, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Hollywood Montrose is the greatest character EVER!!!!

    by Crimson King

    Seriously, though, I'm sure they're horrible as actual movies, but seeing as how I saw them both a gazillion times as a kid, I can't help but love those movies.

  • Jan. 14, 2011, 2:11 a.m. CST


    by CimmerianWarrior

    Sorry man, can't be bothered.

  • Jan. 14, 2011, 9:07 a.m. CST

    damned-dirty-ape: I find your post to be outrageous!!

    by I_Love_LanaLang

    damned-dirty-ape said: "Please tell me you are joking and just having a laugh. Legend of Chun-Lee was a stinking turd and Smallville has only improved since she left." I sure as hell was NOT joking! I would never joke about the incomparable Kristin Kreuk. I find your remarks to be highly offensive, inaccurate, and possessing no redeeming qualities at all. I think it's obvious to anyone with a scintilla of movie knowledge that the incredible acting ability of Kristin Kreuk lifted the Legend of Chun-Li from an average film to one of the best of the year. It's certainly on my Top 5 list and I'm sure it rates very high with other people who enjoy watching an actress at the top of her craft. As for Smallville, it has steadily deteriorated into an unwatchable mess since the departure of Ms. Kreuk. Where once there was a beautiful femme fatale that garnered our attention, there are now wholely uninteresting beasts such as Chloe, Tess Mercer, and the agonizingly annoying Lois Lane. Kristin Kreuk MADE that show must see tv!! As for the pathetic and achingly boring show Chuck, the ONLY episodes that I could bear were the ones where Ms. Kreuk displayed her incredible range and talent as an actress. She OWNED every scene she was in! I'm not surprised that they got rid of her as the other actors were most definitely jealous and in awe of her prodigious talent. The same thing happened on Smallville. Don't you dare ever insult Ms. Kreuk again. Don't even think about it. I will not stand for that kind of behavior. Do you understand?!

  • Jan. 14, 2011, 9:10 a.m. CST

    all of u hatin SP vs the WOlrd

    by ieatgarbage

    dont know the first two shits about films. that movie breaks the hearts breaks in the laughs and does pretty well in the boy factors action and babes. im sick of people talkin with nothign to say but stupids

  • Not you Massa, this list is solid. It's the pretentious douchebags. You know who you are, and you don't deserve a list.