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Lynn Bracken tells it how she sees it on HOLY SMOKE
That dastardly devil, Moriarty! I'll see you in prison for all eternity you degenerate old coot. You see folks... Harry here, to tell you that Moriarty LIES! He told me he had a fetish for ancient bearded dwarves, meanwhile he's attempting to abscond with my beautiful Lynn Bracken! Ewwwww, he'll rue the day! I'll stick some sort of free-loader on him and watch him squirm... that worm! MEANWHILE... The drop dead gorgeous Lynn Bracken has filed her very first ever report... this one on the Jane Campion film... HOLY SMOKE. Well... this has been a highly anticipated film back here in Geek Headquarters as Robogeek worships at his Kate shrine twice a day and thrice on Wednesday. However... I'm afraid any movie that boasts Harvey Keitel in a lady's tight fitting dress must be seen for pure spectacle's sake. Just so you can comment upon the train wreck... But now... let me turn it over to that stunner of the moment... oh wait... that old blowhard wants to blow smoke... here's moriaaaarty....
Hey, Head Geek...
"Moriarty" here.
Well, sir, my evil master plan to drive you mad
with jealous wrath is in full swing. I found the
following note on my pillow this morning. I'll be
weighing in with my thoughts on HOLY SMOKE when the
RUMBLINGS FROM THE LAB return this coming Tuesday.
Until then, enjoy.
Greetings from Hollywood, the Land of Broken
Dreams. Lynn Bracken here, nursing a terrible
hangover. Last night I had the pleasure of a proper
"date" with Moriarty. Harry wanted him to keep an eye
on me while he was out of town (If only his eyes were
all I had to worry about). Moriarty is a scientist, a
very "hands-on" man if you catch my drift, and when
Harry asked him to "take care of me," I'm afraid he
took it quite literally. But hush-hush, don't tell
Harry...
Last night's occasion of sin was a screening of
"HOLY SMOKE!" We entered the screening room, and a
very pleasant D-girl offered Moriarty a press packet,
and me an icy glare. Imagine that! A dame
disrepectin' a dame at a dame's picture. What's the
world coming to when one working girl can't recognize
another?
But let's cut to the chase. The movie was strange.
I let it steep in my mind overnight, and it is a very
strong cup of tea. Jane Campion seems like
Cassandra. You know, a woman who speaks the truth,
but is doomed to be misunderstood. She is a
visionary, a prophet, but this film was more a
piece of celluloid poetry than a story. There will be
spoilers here.
The picture starts out in India where a young RUTH
BARRON (Kate Winslet) finds meaning in her life
through a Guru. She decides to stay in Indiaand
live her life with CHIDAATMA BABA (Dhritiman Chaterji)
and his followers.
This bit of the movie is very effective, in fact I
would have to say the first third of this movie is the
most intriguing and stirring. I felt what it must be
like to be in this frenetic environment, and how
stange and beautiful her spiritual awakening was. The
dream-like quality of these scenes was quite
affecting.
Ruth's hyterical friend PRUE (Samantha Murray)
returns to Australia and convinces Ruth's family to
retrieve their misguided girl. The family arranges to
have Ruth de-programmed upon her return to Sydney.
MIRIAM BARRON (Julie Hamilton) goes to India to get
her daughter. In a very disturbing scene, mother and
daughter meet in a filthy restaurant where Mum
discovers the "toilet" is a "hole".
Ruth cannot be convinced to go home, even upon
hearing her father is about to die. In measured
tones, Ruth explains she'll see him in another life.
Kate is utterly convincing here, her face glowing with
joy and self-assurance. Her mother flees the
restaurant only to have a life-threatening panic
attack in the street, and as a result, Ruth returns
home with her.
Arriving in Sydney, Ruth is unsuspecting and
trusting of her parents. Meanwhile, the family has
paid a fortune to bring a Cult Exit Specialist over
from America. This is P.J. WATERS (Harvey Keitel).
In the most unsettling scene in the film, Ruth learns
her father is not ill at all, and as the understanding
of her family's betrayal goes through her mind, she is
surrounded by her "loved ones" and trapped. P.J. is
reluctant to work on this case (his 190th) because his
assistant cannot make it, but agrees when he sees his
subject.
P.J. and Ruth are isolated in a hut far beyond her
family's emu farm. Here in the outback, P.J. has three
days to de-program her. Her spirit and devotion seem
to surprise him, but he sticks to his agenda. After a
series of harrowing scenes, we see P.J. try to break
Ruth. He even shows her a video featuring the Manson
family and Heaven's Gate cult. This is where the
movie loses its drive, and the dramatic tension seems
to dissapate. Wholly affected by this video (or is it
the sight of P.J. feeling her sister-in-law's behind?)
Ruth seems to lose herself.
Later that night, back at the hut, P.J. sees Ruth's
Sari on fire. When he looks for Ruth he finds her
weeping and naked outside. In her weakest moment,
Ruth emplores P.J. to love her while urinating on
herself. P.J. has rough sex with his client and the
tables are now turned. Ruth is now in control, and
during the remainder of her stay with P.J., she
humiliates and degrades him hourly.
Ruth's family has become concerned for her welfare
and attempts contact, but P.J. has left the phone off
the hook. P.J.'s girlfriend and sometime-assistant
CAROL (Pam Grier) goes to the hut looking for a cured
client and finds a naked young woman, and a naked Cult
Exit Specialist. Ruth's family has decided by now to
go and get Ruth. Things seem to end badly for all, but
a tacked-on "happy ending" left me dissatisfied.
All in all, this is not a bad film. It has some
stunning content, but the transitions are awkward, and
sometimes unconvincing. Kate Winslet is a sensitive
actress, although here I didn't quite buy her as a
member of this working class Aussie family. For one
thing, her accent was never consistent with theirs.
For another, her poise seems misplaced. Her
performance is inspired and convincing through much of
the film, however P.J. never stood a chance. This
brings me to my next point: I have never seen Kate
play weak. She eminates self-confidence in a way that
she can't seem to shake in this film. I never saw a
raw, helpless Ruth, and this is neccessary if I am to
believe P.J.'s fall and the resulting reversal of
roles.
As P.J., Harvey Keitel is sufficiently smooth and
experienced, which is why I never understood his
inability to resist Ruth. Of course she is beautiful
and vulnerable, but after treating 189 cases, I didn't
see the extraordinary circumstances which would lead a
man to risk his reputation and his livelihood.
There was a strange dynamic between these two
certainly, but I won't say I was entirely convinced by
their chemistry. His lack of ethics strained the
story's credibility. The supporting players were all
quite good, especially Julie Hamilton (Ruth's Mum) and
Sophie Lee (the Uberskank sister-in-law). The men in
Ruth's family fared less well I'm afraid, many of them
seeming cartoonish and underdeveloped. Ruth's father,
for example, is such an unyielding asshole that I
wouldn't have blamed Ruth for not returning to see him
before his death. Ruth's brother Robbie is almost too
stupid to be believed. These are thankless roles, and
I think the actors did well with them. The director
must have seen some value in having these men be so
shallow. I wonder though, if she is not somehow
cheating her audience, by making these people seem so
obviously flawed.
The cinematography was gritty, which is
thematically appropriate. I appreciated the intimacy
of the sequences in the hut. However, I sometimes
felt like I wasn't seeing what I was supposed to be
seeing, like a voyeur with an obstucted view. I
missed the fluid beauty of "The Piano" or "Portrait of
a Lady". These movies made me feel full, as if my
eyes had just eaten a huge meal.
This movie IS sexy, as I'm sure the Professor will
attest, and there is something for everyone. If you
like the Quilty/Lolita scenario, if you like golden
showers, if you like sadistic women, male
cross-dressers, gay men dressed as cowboys, it's all
there. You will also see a glorious lesbian embrace,
very very steamy. These scenes are also honest,
uncomfortably so. This movie is challenging, and I
liked that. Ms. Campion does not pander to an
intended audience. She never judges her characters.
Her films all have genius touches (the black and white
sequence in "Portrait of a Lady", the underwater scene
in "The Piano", the family photos in "An Angel at my
Table"). Some of these moments are funny at
inappropriate times, or they are oddly symbolic
choices. Ruth attempts to escape P.J. by tying books
to her feet -- this is brilliant! There are many of
these peculiar moments in this film. However, the
glue needed to hold this story together sometimes
evaporates. When the movie lost its steam I was
frustrated. This movie is a noble failure, if only
because it could have been perfect.
And that's all the news that's fit to print.
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+ Expand All
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Is this an "independent" film?
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I just saw it. The funniest movie of the year. THE TOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!!!!!! Oh yeah, this one sound interesting (naked Kate, naked Kate, naked Kate...).
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This movie made my top ten so far this year, very bizarre power play comedy - Jane Campion in her "SWEETIE" style. The strange depths are fairly unforgettable, Keitel in a slinky red dress running through the desert is unbelievable. The spies gripes are a little superficial I think, true the men were idiots, but so were the women for the most part. The plot developments might stretch plausibility, but I think that's the idea. Keitel comes across as a letch from early on, who's to say he didn't sleep with other cases? The movie plays against expectations, against polarities, against the issues it raises about spirituality and religion without providing any easy answers at all. It's a very wry, sly, sexy, salty comedy and Winslet is in "Heavenly Creatures" form, which is to say tops.
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Kate Winslet is peeing on herself? Pam Grier is in it? You didn't like it? I'm there.
How is the pissing scene handled? Is it implied or do you actually see the whole golden shower? From far away? What is this filth rated? -
Nov 28, 1999 2:18:30 AM CST
Actually, Jimmer, I heard it was Kietel that spread his "Man Pas
by uncapie
That Harvey Headbanger! What a guy! He knows how to party!
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Nov 28, 1999 3:23:16 AM CST
is this Lynn really all harry says she is? lets have pic and let
by orbitus
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Nov 28, 1999 3:24:03 AM CST
is this Lynn really all harry says she is? lets have pic and let
by orbitus
i'm not a big fan of peeing on people, though i am a fan of peeing on the floor.
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This is one of those films I've heard about the last few months that really has me curious. I like Jane Campion and she's always swtiching up her styles, which is good, but damn this film sounds twisted. It should be interesting to see how it's pulled off, plus the cinematography sounds great. Keitel is cool but he's gave me the creeps ever since Bad Leiutenant...and well Kate...I love her...good actress, then some...but why oh why did she have to go and get married...okay...who is this Lynn Bracken girl...I mean is she just a friend of Harry's like Moriarty...I don't think so...she's sounds like she is more then a spy...like kind of an important lady in some studio...anybody know...Lynn, Harry, or Moriarty want to help??
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I suspect that the story about Keitel being fired from EWS after method-acting-masterbating all over Nicole Kidman is just another one of these false rumours that was spread around the internet. The simple fact is that, having seen EWS several times, it is safe to say that there was no scene where such an event could have taken place, and it is difficult to see that such a scene could fit into the overall film.
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is a God. And when ever reviews state that a film is something like "weird or twisted" isn't that because the movie fucking rocks? I certainly think so. And I'm still pissed of that The Piano didn't beat Schindler's List in 93 but maybe I'm the only one. So Campion is a God and Winslet is just so yummy. Who wouldn't love this flick?
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It COULD happen..........they could've edited the scene out. Example, following the tragic deaths on the filming of "Twilight Zone - The Movie" several years ago, all sight and/or mention of a Viatnamese village, helicopters etc were absent from the finishing product.
Kate Winslet getting wet in ANOTHER film ?
Method acting masturbation....interesting concept ! -
Shouldn't that be 'Goddess'? And if this IS Campion in comedy mode (which is what I thought it was) then I think Ms. Bracken's heroine worship got in the way of the review a bit. But who cares? We all love Kate, and we'll all see it even if it ended up being Lost in Space 2.
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(1 Toy Story 2 BV $57,700,000)
(2 The World Is Not Enough MGM/UA $24,300,000)(3 End of Days UNIV $19,800,000)
(4 Sleepy Hollow PARA $18,800,000)
(5 Pokemon: The First Movie WB $7,100,000)
(6 The Bone Collector UNIV $5,200,000)
(7 Dogma LIONS $3,500,000 $21,500,000)
(8 Anywhere But Here FOX $3,000,000)
(9 The Insider BV $2,500,000 $22,100,000)
(10 Being John Malkovich USA $2,200,000)
Toy Story kicked ass! It has made $81 million since Wednesday.
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sure, ok, ok
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That's usually the reaction I have at the end of a Jane Campion film. While the Piano turned out to be one of those movies you have to watch a couple times to really understand it and the "genius quality" behind it, Portrait of a Lady made me fall asleep. I NEVER fall asleep when watching a movie I've never seen before, so admittedly I was bored. I didn't enjoy the book much, either, and had to put it down many times and pick up something else as a relief.***As for Kate never playing weak...what about Sense and Sensibility? Her character, while strong for the most part, had her moments of weakness. Maybe it was more naive when she fell for the wrong man and lent her heart completely to him, but she expressed some weakness there. While I didn't enjoy Kate in Titanic (wooden performance, she looked out of place for the most part...maybe it was the lack of chemistry with DiCaprio), I have enjoyed the other films like Sense and Sensibility (best Jane Austin adaptation). She is a strong presence on screen and it would be fun to see what she does with Ruth in the movie.
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Welcome Back Ms Thumbs....hope u had a good thanksgiving....On the subject of Kate, did you see Jude?? I think that's a way good movie all around...but it's hella depressing...What about Hideous Kinky?? I've rented it twice but still haven't watched it....I've heard she is good in it though....I really think for the most part she's an under-rated actress...and unfortunately Titanic didn't help her case....but I'm glad she was in it...because for some reason I think that if she wasn't in that movie...I wouldn't have been attatched to the whole love story as much...I guess that's just because of that little crush I have on her.....
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HIDEOUS KINKY is what one defines "PURE CINEMATIC TORTURE" Kate stop being so fucking artsy and come back to the five and dime Kate Winslet, Kate Winslet. At least Parker Posey picks fun roles!!!!
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Kate Winslet is a nasty ho. She's fat, got celluloid all over her pasty, cottage cheese ass and couldn't give head if her life depended on it. There, I said it. I feel a lot better now.
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Nov 29, 1999 12:45:14 PM CST
Only in a shithole like Hollywood could a gorgeous woman like Ka
by l'auteur
Anyone who thinks shes fat seriously needs to get their misguided and warped mind out of the fucking Glamour magazine (or Elle, Vouge, Madamouiselle, Seventeen, or whatever propoganda-spewing fashion trash it is). I dont care if you think shes ugly or annoying, but if you think shes FAT, then congradulations, youve been officially brainwashed by the media. BTW, lets get a picture of Lynn Bracken so we can see what all the fuss is about.
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The movie just ROCKS!!!
I saw it at a preview screening and it was f**king good!!!!!!
And Kate is THE best!!!
The movie is dramatic, sensual, VERY erotic and VERY funny!!Yes, its funny!!You didn't thought that, did you?It's not depressing at all!!!!There are some really funny scenes in it, thats what makes it even better!
It's a really cool and modern movie and Kate kicks ass!!!Don't think that you will see a nice and sweet Kate, but a cool, modern, sensual girl who can be a real bitch and one that wants sex really bad sometimes!I didn't expected much but I was stunned by Kate and the movie!And people who are saiyng that Kate is fat, overweight or whatever...go see the movie and shut the f**k up about it!!The girl is just damn HOT!!
I wanna see it again, ahhhhh!!
Ps.No, this isn't a independent movie, its produced and distributed by Miramax Films. -
...the studio plants are going to be that obvious about it, why do they even bother? Like the opinion of someone who uses twenty-three thousand exclamation points is going sway me one way or t'other. And for the record: I thought people who used slang like 'ho' were supposed to like larger women (baby got back etc. etc.)? Or is Kate a 'tweener' in your eyes, Jake?
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and any one of you dumb asses who thinks she is needs your heads examined. Face it, if you think she's fat, then you've obviously bought into that whole Hollywood "boys with D cups" look that is completely unrealistic. (*I like to call them bagel boobs*) You're probably the same folks who think that Rita Hayworth was a hottie and Drew Barrymore is too chubby...and guess what, stupid boys? They are both about the same size. L'auteur is right. Kate rocks. End of story.
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