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Don Coscarelli gets a fish man, a tall man, an exploding doctor and a doomed Gremlins school teacher for JOHN DIES AT THE END!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with some more casting news from the hopefully great adaptation of the hilarious JOHN DIES AT THE END, which is being helmed by PHANTASM and BUBBA HO-TEP's Don Coscarelli with the previously announced Paul Giamatti taking a small part in the flick, which you may remember reading about on this very website back on October 21st.

So, we got a few more people joining the announced newbies Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes and vets Clancy Brown and Paul Giamatti. Here's who we got:

Everybody's favorite man in suit Doug Jones will be outside of the rubber playing the mysterious Roger North, a role he's perfect for if you've read the book.

Glynn Turman will be a Detective. He's a well known actor on the stage and a face you'll recognize. My geekiness immediately jumped to: "Oh my God! He's the teacher from GREMLINS!"

And Daniel Roebuck, whose career goes back to the '80s with River's Edge, the Jon Cryer super '80s flick DUDES, Coscarelli's Bubba Ho-Tep and, of course, as Arzt on LOST. He's playing a character called "Largeman." Oh, and yes... Phantasm fans rejoice because:

Yep, The Tall Man, Mr. Angus Scrimm, will also make an appearance. Can't wait to see how this all shakes down. You? -Quint Follow Me On Twitter

Readers Talkback
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  • Nov. 11, 2010, 2:51 a.m. CST

    Yeah, the book was pretty good...

    by Grasscutter

    I was wondering when they'd get around to making it into a movie. Dude who wrote it writes for, too.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 2:53 a.m. CST

    Fantastic - now where's my new Phantasm movie?

    by Paulseta

    Good on the ole' Don for continuing to make interesting movies outside the system (somewhat), but Angus 'aint getting any younger, and we need a new Phantasm movie!<P> Oh - and Bruce Campbell needs to be in this too - if there hasn't been a falling out of epic proportions...

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 2:56 a.m. CST

    Armie Hammer for Superman.

    by UltimaRex

    If this guy can put together a great cast Snyder, so can you.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 3:11 a.m. CST

    My penis stinks

    by Daniel2010

    Thought I'd let you know

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 3:21 a.m. CST


    by frank cotton

    to take a bath

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 3:45 a.m. CST


    by Red43jes

    I've got the book on my Amazon wish list. the cast looks to be fun...might be good?

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 4:04 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    That has to be one of the coolest titles ever. You can't tell that the book, and the movie, will cheat on audience's expectations.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 4:05 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    I love almost to the point of addiction.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 4:13 a.m. CST

    Cool News

    by CuervoJones

    Cool News!

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 4:13 a.m. CST


    by Shpadoinkle I looking forward to this! Have no idea what the book is like...such is my love for all things Coscarelli that i won't read it til after lest I spoil the surprise.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 4:17 a.m. CST

    Glynn Turman

    by cthulhu_dog

    was also blowjob-lovin' Mayor Royce in The Wire.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 4:24 a.m. CST

    (my muse tells me): Clu Galager, dammit!

    by Rocco Curioso

    HE's the missing piece of the casting puzzle. This movie looks good as is; put him in the mix and it'll be perfect.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Where is Marc Singer?

    by vic twenty

    He was, is, and always will be Coscarelli's Beastmaster. And ol' Don should still get a lifetime achievement award for bringing us all Tanya Roberts' titties.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 6:50 a.m. CST

    OK, if you only know Turman from Gremlins...

    by Nice Marmot

    ...find and watch 'J.D.'s Revenge' right now.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 7:16 a.m. CST

    I haven't read the book. So is Doug still perfect?

    by bah

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 7:25 a.m. CST


    by frank cotton


  • I would have expected "The six actors you totally didn't know were cast in John Dies At The End". (Or however many were mentioned. I'd go back and count, but talkback is hard enough from a mobile device.) <p> In any event, another big Cracked fan here. Glad to see those guys spreading their tendrils throughout the entertainment world.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 7:29 a.m. CST

    I hope that Coscarelli does not forget how funny the book was.

    by beastie

    It wasn't a great book, but definately a fun read. The humor reminded me of Ghostbusters meets Palahniuk. I really hope that if it comes down to choosing between scares and laughs, they go with laughs.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 7:32 a.m. CST

    Cool line-up

    by kwisatzhaderach

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 7:35 a.m. CST


    by SeXX ED

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Ya know........

    by macheesmo3

    I got a ton of faith in this. Coscarelli has shown one thing and that is that he sees the humor in what he does... He gets it. He's not gonna thro self important crap on the screen. Honestly, I can't think of a better director to pull this off!

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 7:46 a.m. CST

    R.I.P. Dino

    by George_clooneys_caesar_cut

    He also leaves behind a hot granddaughter, Food Network's Giada Delaurentiis.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 7:56 a.m. CST

    OK, so we get nothing but bitching and moaning

    by Nice Marmot

    til Dino's obit is posted. I know the drill . . .

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 8:11 a.m. CST


    by Rev. Artemis Prime

    I missed the Oct posting. This is awesome. I've always thought that book is what a stephen king book written by Hunter Thompson on acid would look like. It's like the hotel check in scene in Fear and loathing for 300 pages. Awesome.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 8:23 a.m. CST

    R.I.P Dino

    by Wilford_Brimleys_Diabetes_Rage

    is this gonna open up the door for "Tyler Perry's Mandingo"

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 8:38 a.m. CST

    In honor of Dino

    by Robber_Button

    I'm going to watch Army of Darkness. <br></br><br></br> What I want to know now is... Who's going to produce Evil Dead IV? <br></br>It's in development. <br></br> <br></br> I want cool news.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Looks like shit

    by Shalako

    yep, it's a Coscarelli movie.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 8:55 a.m. CST

    I agree..

    by skimn

    Where's Bruce Campbell? Burn Notice can't have him tied up that much, can it?

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 9:14 a.m. CST

    The book is fucking awesome.

    by SpawnofAchilles

    It's a blast, really fun and funny but also bizarre, gory and fucked up weird. I'm definitely pumped for this movie and I hope they knock it out of the park. John needs to be well cast, his character is so awesome in the book. I'm also a big fan of they put out some very funny and informative stuff.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Based on that pic of Doug Jones,

    by SubliminalJones

    someone needs to get a Morton Downey Jr. biopic rolling quick. Also, Glynn Turman was all but set as Han Solo before Lucas changed his mond and went with Harrison Ford. And, R.I.P. Dino. I'll always love Disco Kong, no matter the naysayers. Indeed, as you said, "Nobody-a cry when-a Jaws die. Everybody-a cry when my Kong-a die".

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 9:37 a.m. CST

    THATs the quote!

    by skimn

    Thanks SubliminalJones! And again, lets not forget Dino produced the mess that was Lynch's Dune, but then backed Blue Velvet...

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 10:15 a.m. CST


    by fireclown

    will rock your brain's asshole. Mark my words.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Nice Marmot

    by Screwbini

    I like the "J.D.'s Revenge" reference. Turman was a hoot in that flick. Besides "The Wire", though, my favorite Glynn Turman work is on display in "Cooley High"

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Uhhh, dude, you got a little Arzt on you

    by Nasty In The Pasty

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 11:18 a.m. CST

    Good on them

    by soma_with_the_paintbox

    I used to visit pwot all the time back in the day before they merged with cracked. John Cheese and David Wong are some of the funniest motherfuckers on the internet, and those forums were one of its weirdest, craziest, most homoerotic corners this side of 4chan. Now I'm sure it's been overrun by web 2.0 faggots, but that's progress, I guess.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 11:19 a.m. CST


    by Screwbini

    Dude's brain has an asshole? Wow!

  • Nov. 11, 2010, noon CST

    Rather have PHANTASM IV

    by Punisherthunder

    I'd rather have him make Phantasm IV.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 12:17 p.m. CST


    by D_T

    ...your wish is granted, it's already been made!

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 12:51 p.m. CST


    by musically_endowed

    This is probably my favorite book ever. I just hope whoever plays john can pull it off. john is the best part of the book. also racist reimagining of losing my religion must be in this.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Black Han Solo

    by George_clooneys_caesar_cut

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Black Han Solo

    by George_clooneys_caesar_cut

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Black Han Solo

    by George_clooneys_caesar_cut

    I never knew Glynn Turman was almost cast as Han Solo. Making Solo a brother would have been very progressive for the time.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 1:21 p.m. CST

    re: Black Han Solo

    by SubliminalJones

    It's mentioned in Dale Pollock's Skywalking: The Life And Films Of George Lucas, as well as on Turman's IMDB page. 20th Century Fox wasn't keen on a white on black on white triangle, I guess. I always wondered why Lucas, so keen on Turman but having to rescind the Solo role, didn't hand Turman the Lando Calrissian role on a silver platter.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Glynn Turman...

    by carlotta_valdes J.D. WALKER...THE BOSS TALKER!

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Wow, a lot of washed up actors in this cast

    by John_Lithgows_Crusty_Balls

    I liked a lot of these guys--20 years ago! This should go STV. You know what will be fun? If this movie is as pointless and hard to follow as those damned Phantasm movies. And furthermore, if you only recognize the great Glynn Turman from Gremlins then you are truly a shithead. That is all.

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 2:28 p.m. CST

    I had no idea!

    by Smack_Teddy

    Great News!

  • Nov. 11, 2010, 6:20 p.m. CST

    So cool

    by RichardLuzT

    Damn cool

  • Nov. 12, 2010, 12:20 a.m. CST

    I am soooo looking forward to this...

    by CrusherJen

    It's a truly excellent (and messed up) novel-- funny, freaky, scary, and oddly touching too. Though I wonder how Coscarelli is gonna cram all three separate-yet-intertwined stories from the book into a two hour span of movie and make it work. But I'll go see it, definitely! --And Paulseta, there's a role in the book's sequel (John and Dave and the Fifth Wall) that is just *perfect* for Bruce Campbell. The book's not out yet. I read an excerpt on David Wong's website, but unfortunately, he had to take it down when he sold book rights to St. Martin's Press. But trust me, Bruce is the best choice to play Detective Vance Falconer.

  • Nov. 14, 2010, 6:24 a.m. CST

    "David Wong" announced the movie well over 3 years ago

    by The_Crimson_King

    glad to see that something is finally happening