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Hercules Surfs Over
To HAWAII FIVE-0!!
I am – Hercules!!
CBS’ disappointing new “Hawaii Five-0” comes to us from writer-producer Peter Lenkov (“CSI NY”) as an uninspired buddy-cop caper. It’s maybe trying to be a white-boy “Bad Boys” but doesn’t clear that fairly low bar.
It’s a very loose remake of CBS’ old anti-hippie Jack Lord series. As the new pilot begins, Five-0 agency does not exist; the phrase “Five-0” (or even the number “50”) is never uttered.
Steve McGarrett here is a young Oahu native and Navy officer with a background in intelligence and the SEALs. He’s suddenly charged by the Hawaiian governor (Jean Smart) with forming a new state police task force.
Dan Williams is now a divorced New Jersey police detective who relocated to Hawaii to be closer to his daughter. Chin Ho Kelly is a disgraced ex-Honolulu cop who worked with McGarrett’s terrorist-victim father. And the mountainous Kono Kalakaua is now a hot skinny girl fresh out of the police academy.
So a new team is forged on something like the template of the “Untouchables” movie: the new leader gathers together an outsider, somebody who knows the Hawaiian way, and a kid new to the force.
Alex O'Loughlin (“Moonlight,” “Three Rivers”), who plays the new McGarrett, is a good-looking stiff. He evokes a Nicolas Cage with all the important edges sanded off. Scott Caan seems more surefooted as Danno, but the bickery banter given these supposedly mismatched crime fighters is bush league. “Lost” icon Daniel Dae Kim doesn’t get a lot to do as Chin in the opener.
The best thing about the hour is the tan body of skinny, sexy Grace Park (“Battlestar Galactica”). Her lanky cadet character is introduced in a bikini, then later finds herself forced to strip down to her bra and panties by a human trafficker. Park’s physique is almost reason enough to give this pilot a look; CBS will want to keep her half-naked at all times. Let’s hope the producers continue to find excuses.
Also attention-getting are two nifty CGI-enhanced vehicular stunts: one with McGarrett sliding on the hood of a crashing car; another with a thug getting violently smooshed by a large, fast-moving truck. But I don’t think CBS has made a “Five-O” promo yet that didn’t feature these two fleeting moments, so there’s now no reason to sit through an hour of tepid procedural to get to them.
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… We have all the makings of an odd-couple buddy show, but the banter and chemistry are so annoying it's hard to watch. Alpha-male pissing contests are not unknown on cop shows; a little macho energy and friction can work as a driving force. But when Williams offers, at the end of a running argument, "Let's just not talk," you find yourself wishing they'd stick to it. … some things are better than they were in the '60s -- including the top tier of television shows. This just isn't one of them. …
Variety says:
… the expensive pilot -- millions were spent on front-loaded explosions -- doesn't necessarily indicate smooth sailing, relying as it does on playful banter (more like frat-boy hazing) between the leads that grows tiresome even before the hour's over. … Admittedly, those weaned on the original are only a peripheral part of the audience CBS covets, and the pacing required a modern-day makeover. Still, the raw materials -- from the island setting to the underused Kim and Park -- have more potential than punch in the pilot, resulting in just another crime procedural with a nifty blue-sky backdrop. …
USA Today says:
… It's TV at its least challenging, but it has an incredibly gorgeous setting, a pre-sold concept, a cushy time slot, a solid supporting cast and a starmaking turn by Caan. And if the actual star marries the body of a surfer to the magnetism of a board, let's just say it won't be the first time CBS has overcome such a problem. …
The New York Times says:
… McGarrett and Danno meet and pair up in the premiere with the kind of bickering contentiousness usually reserved on television for men and women about to land — to the surprise of no one but themselves — in bed. … …
The Los Angeles Times says:
… the limpid-eye woodenness O'Loughlin inevitably brings to a role (settle down, "Moonlight" fans; you know it's true) works well enough for Steve McGarrett — Jack Lord played it clenched and clipped too — but that's about as far as it goes, and "well enough" cannot be what CBS was looking for. Fortunately, O'Loughlin's by-the-book performance is buoyed by a fast-paced script and a splendid supporting cast, including and especially Scott Caan as Danno, that radiates enough hit-making energy to render even Oahu's azure waters and perfect sunsets superfluous. …
TV Squad says:
… replicates the premise of a whole host of CBS procedurals. Your mileage will vary as to whether that's a problem for you. … despite the dude-tastic charisma that Caan brings to Danno, I can't quite see a reason to watch 'Hawaii Five-0' again, given that each week, the stories will probably feel like something we've already seen on 'NCIS,' 'NCIS Los Angeles' or any number of the 'CSIs.' Bad guys will be caught, the team shall be triumphant. Rinse and repeat. …
The San Francisco Chronicle says:
… nothing but entertainment. It's eye candy. Waves, sun, island culture, Park. A bad guy surfaces, McGarrett goes to work. Danno books him. End of story. Sometimes there are gunbattles. Fists fly. That's all there is, folks. It's not rocket science. True, watching the original is more fun. And more cheesy. But waves are waves. Hawaii is still pretty. And if you're looking for anything deeper than that, you've landed on the wrong island. "Lost" is over. Let your mind take a break. …
The Washington Post says:
… a big bag of dumb fun, with a story told as tautly and smoothly as the surface of a Polynesian drum. … His fan base strongly believes O'Loughlin is hot to trot, but his screen presence seems so completely cardboard that I think he should have This Side Up tattooed on his abs. But here, a stiff McGarrett is the way to go. …
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:
… Overwrought and humorless, this remake of the classic '70s series offers some strong action sequences but generic plot and character introductions. … O'Loughlin takes his shirt off just once in the pilot (perhaps to distract from his sometimes wooden performance), and he's teamed with the more charismatic Scott Caan …
HitFix says:
… nothing new to see here … it's fun. Not thought-provoking, not innovative, not super-quotable the next day (unless you want to trot out the old "Book 'em, Danno" catchphrase, which the new show wisely does at one point). But entertaining, in the kind of mindless but effective style of your better action flicks. …
The Boston Herald says:
… O’Loughlin is taking his third shot (“Moonlight,” “Three Rivers”) in as many years on CBS and seems to have finally found series gold, but Caan’s the real delight. You’d never know it from his recent run on HBO’s “Entourage,” but he’s warm and funny and exhibits great chemistry with everyone in the cast. …
The Boston Globe says:
… There’s nothing groundbreaking going on here, just old-fashioned action-adventure fun. …
10 p.m. Monday. CBS.
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Readers Talkback
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hope this is good
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but I will give it a chance.
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but I will give it a chance.
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comparisons to Lost wont be doing it any favors as no one wants to be cockteased for long.
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I clicked on THE EVENT headline, and get a review of Hawaii 5-0 instead?
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Sorry. Don't like the guy. Grace Park's bikini scenes will probably end up on YouTube. I can wait.
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Every show doesn't have to be MAD MEN or BREAKING BAD, y'know.
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Eat a cheeseburger fer cryin' out loud!!!
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Sept. 20, 2010, 1:08 p.m. CST
I was going to skip Mary Louise Parker and Laura Linney for this
by Dr Hemlock
Now it looks like I won't have to. Too bad, I was looking forward to the new Five-0. Well, at least they kept the theme music.
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Why I enjoy both Human Target and The Good Guys. I also dug Hawaii, so I'm sure I'll enjoy this too.
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"You know the name; you know the number". Now where have I heard that before ..... oh yes, the "Goldeneye" ad campaign.
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It's flashy, colorful, and decent enough to see if the second episode improves on the pilot. Not every pilot can be a home run like the pilots for Lost and Alias. I kind of liked it. The issue will be if the lead in (some new comedy) can support this show since CBS moved veteran CSI Miami to another night.
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I never saw it, and I never watched it in syndication growing up. I didn't notice anything wrong about them not mentioning "5-0" because street slang has warped my definition of that term. It may have originated from the old show. But "5-0" to most people is slang for cops. So I thought nothing of it.
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Grace Park!!!
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Grace Park being half naked, and being anti-hippie I would totally watch.
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So I guess I can skip this one. But just out of curiosity, did they keep the original theme music? Damn...I'll have to re-read...
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Instead of trying to remake a new and edgier show they should have tried recapture the feel of the old show. Lead actor is a miscast.
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...the fast that Ford's Police Interceptor (based on the Crown Victoria) has a 5.0 litre engine.<p> ...then I realized the Police Interceptor/Crown Victoria didn't exist in the 60's.<p> ...and then I realized that Americans don't measure things in litres.<p> ... and THEN I realized I was getting low on vodka and needed to walk down to the liquor store ... again ...
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Sept. 20, 2010, 4:01 p.m. CST
THIS LOOKS LIKE 25 OTHER TV COP SHOWS! BORING!!!!!!!!!!!
by JonChambers
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Sept. 20, 2010, 4:02 p.m. CST
WANTED: Actors who can ACT... 6-pack abs not necessary!!!
by JonChambers
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I don't usually like him in anything. I think he comes off as an ass. But here he is cool. O'Laughlin can be wooden, but he is fine here. <P>And yes the theme is a riff on the classic. But not like the "90210" reboot where it's the same theme but sounds funny.
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And the theme music. <p> And maybe the Banzai Pipeline.
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easy choice there move 5-0 to Tuesday after NCIS and you might have something....
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But not hot enough to make me watch this nonsense. I'll wait for a YouTube compilation of her in bikinis constantly.
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Sept. 20, 2010, 5:43 p.m. CST
They had fricken better introduce Wo Fat by episode 3...
by doctordebug
that is all
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make it happen
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Moonlight was a decent show with pretty decent ratings for a friday night. But other then that this guy is turning into a show killer lol.
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Cause there ain't a single one in that cast. Gotta hire those Koreans to play Hawaiians, I guess. Yikes.
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Even though Castle deserves it and Chase will probably be better.
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...was way hotter than Grace Park. Tall and muscular. But Grace is cute. For a petite woman. I bet Shatner's show outlasts this one.
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That is a pretty ass motherfucker, and as a heterosexual dude I have no problem admitting this.
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usually i dont question heterogay statements like that, but its weird to hear someone say that about DDK
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So fine.
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it really is boring. Definitely one thing I would have changed is the names of the characters. Using the old ones just sets up huge comparisons.
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Oh, Lord.
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Grace Park was good, and Daniel Day Kim was good. Nice predicable action.
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I'm seriously only watching it because of these two. I don't like Lost that much, but Jin's boss. And Boomer's fucking sexy (aswell as being in BSG awesome God-show forrealz).
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Someone just told me that. Also it is trending on Twitter while The Event is not.
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Hate the camera filters though.
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They're in the whole show. Also, Grace Park gets nude.
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Sept. 20, 2010, 10:18 p.m. CST
Okay, who didn't see James Marsters coming as teh bad guy
by MrMysteryGuest
Will he finally get the coveted Big Bad status on Hawaii 5-0?
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Sept. 20, 2010, 10:26 p.m. CST
Now I know why I don't read Herc's reviews anymore
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
They suck. I'm generally anti-remake, but figured with the great cast I'd give it a shot. I was blown away. Plus the intro in both theme and visuals did great in paying homage to the old series. As for his gushing over The Event, well it's not bad, but I've seen Lost so I don't need another let's draw the plot out over a year or longer crap. Once again I suppose I should skim Herc's headlines, and whatever he suggests do the opposite.
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The first episode of The Event answered more questions than Lost did in six years.
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Oh, and another factoid: Jack Lord and Clint Eastwood were brothers!
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I totally thought the guy at 0:28 was him. shit.
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Average...with potential...hate O'Loughlin though...everyone else is fine
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..busting pimps and punks..no school like the old school
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Whoever is married to her is one lucky man, "no you can't go outside, back on the bed"
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My wife is Japanese, I am Caucasian if we produce a daughter anywhere as attractive as her I will need to buy a shotgun
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I made my comment.
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Of course THAT will be the show that runs for 10 years.
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She was the only reason to watch the latter episodes of Numbers. They slutted her up mighty fine once in awhile.
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Literally *every scene she was in* they had her stripping off. It was ridiculous.
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And doesn't do a thing for me. Even more so when compared to Aya like we've been doing here. I'll also agree O'Loughlin probably wasn't the best choice as lead, but it was fun. Of course we're not gonna get a choppah attack every week, but I got my hopes up it'll last longer than NBC's Hawaii.
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Do they even try to give anything resembling a logical reason for yet another 'task force'?
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Sept. 21, 2010, 7:12 a.m. CST
Well the PC television execs had to put a woman in
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
So of course now that they have their token body, they made her body a token. Sorry, but you don't put a fresh out of the academy grad into an elite unit. Okay, I get the fact she's tough because she's jacked from being a pro-surfer, and has obviously studied martial arts. Yeah, it worked in The Untouchables where they lifted the concept of picking the apple off the tree. However 80 years ago was a different era. Hopefully her character will grow.
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Sounds like the non-white supporting cast is more interesting than the white dudes. They should made Jack Lord's old character a Hawaiian guy. Better than this bland lead.
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on the air for once. Lord knows there aren't many left. Caan was pretty funny, the Jack Lord replacement was a plank of wood but good in the action scenes, though. Would have preferred someone like Tia Carrere or Kelly Hu for the female lead though, or at least someone who actually has some curves.
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was kinda neat, and we got Marsters-fu to finish off the pilot. Going into this, I thought Caan would be annoying, but it turned out to be AOL who seemed to be trying too hard to be the tough guy, and the whole premise with Crazy 1st Lady Logan was silly.<p><p>And one thing you don't do is butcher up the theme song. Cut out 30 sec. of gunfights and run the whole damn thing. It's cheaper to shoot that way as well.
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The formula was so laid-back, with a band of friends and a stuffy old englishman that were fun to watch, and you actually cared about the characters. There was tons of humor too. I swear, technology has completely ruined the cop show formula, and everyone tends to be so serious on these CSI-type shows, that it just turns me off. GO BACK TO OLD SCHOOL, MAGNUM STYLE ...but knowing the networks, they will likely fuck-up that remake as well. Too bad that Tom Selleck acts like he doesn't care to do a reunion movie. That would be something at least.
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But I liked his shtick in ocean's too... I'd watch the show more, I hope they at least give it a year.
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Sept. 21, 2010, 9:15 a.m. CST
I liked the new Hawaii Five-0 opening theme/montage, BUT...
by Pizza The Hut
...there were too many annoying computer-techno-style windows displayed, almost like you were looking at a damn computer screen. Otherwise, it was pretty much an old-school show opening, which was good. Just not as great as it could have been. LOSE THE DAMN TECHY LOOK!!
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Sept. 21, 2010, 9:40 a.m. CST
I don't trust this site to actually determine what is good TV...
by tailhook
Hawaii Five-O had to do two things absolutely right. The first is to keep the original theme music unlike a lot of other remakes that have butchered the original versions of theirs(coughknightridercough). The second is to primarily shoot on-location and not on sets(something thats not a given with the expense involved). Check and check. With those two things, you're pretty much there. The actors can be sup-par, the writing can be cheezy.. but its fuckin Hawaii Five-O. What was surprising is how nearly all the critics missed the dynamic they were going after with McGarett and Dano... which was the same one explored in The Hurt Locker. The hard driving go-for-broke guy that gets stuff done, and the by-the-numbers guy worried the first is going to get him killed in the process.
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I would suck the fart right out of her ass and keep it in like a bong.
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Sorry,Herc but your wrong. This show packed enough action,clever dialogue and one cool car (to be used later?)when he uncovered the giant Mercury in the garage. It looks like Danno is the real star of the show,but I liked the new Steve better then I thought I would. NOBODY can replace Jack Lord in that role,but this guy isn't too bad. It's my new favorite show AGAIN!
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As others have mentioned about the tech look scenes (Thanks Pizza hut). And again as others mentioned make it an old school cop show. Know why that type lasted so long? It worked. <br> <br> An underappreciated cop show: Crime Story with Dennis Farina. Set in the pre beatles 60s Chicago then Vegas this show was excellent. Plus it had an updated version of Del Shannons "Runaway" as it opening theme. Wow.
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..Orci and Kurtzman. No thanks. instant pass.
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and think the complaints we have will be worked out over time. Am going to give a try myself.
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Most humble apologies... <br><br> Typed you couldn't pull it off. Detective Kev, Vamp st john...yablonski...yep<br><br> Damn if you did not. From checkin the chamber, to the quick reloads and the righteous all right now.<br><br> You lad, are...young McGarrett.<br><br> Mort Stevens is playing your praises..and oh, yeah, Scott Caan did not suck either.<br><br> I was so wrong..you all just might be the shit. maybe. Think it will really rely a lot on daniel day and grace. But. You brought it Son. Where has that been the last three series you had.<br><br> Damn.
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I laughed after the opening, his dad gets shot execution style then he's screaming into the phone then WHAM, cut to the theme song. lol. That would have fit into Conan's inappropriate bit. It was weird. The show itself? It was ok, nothing special about it, a little by the numbers if you know what I mean. I might tune in every week however just to see what inventive ways they get Grace Park in her underwear/two piece swim suit.
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Leave it to Bob Orci and the other guy to FAIL. <p> Attn: Grace Park <p> Food is not a four-letter word.
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with original music? Egads, how great would it be to have "Crime Story", "Wiseguy", "WKRP in Cincinnati", and "The Wonder Years" on DVD, all containing all the original music? I'd pay Star Trek Season Set prices to have those.
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And 4.1 million for Lonestar. NBC did well. ABC did well. CBS did well. Fox flopped. CW is a non event. Looks like we will see more of The Event and 5-0 for a little while longer.
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It was a bit rough and some of the dialogue was terrible but there's enough there for a fun show.
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how bad did they butcher the theme song?
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CBS.com. They didn't butcher. Quite the opposite. They paid a perfect homage to the original both in the music, and visuals of the introduction.
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doubt i'll watch the series again
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Too many remakes feel that they need to "make it their own", even though everyone knows it's a remake. The 2 best things about Hawaii 5-0 were the music and the scenery, glad it's all there. Now I'll look it up.
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Hawaii Five-O is the bees fucking knees. This is one of those series that Hercules could have gotten out in front of... but he was too busy playing parrot to what other people thought of the show. Grow some balls man.
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I was like prepared for some elecnotrash version of the theme by some punk kid whose balls have yet to drop from 'da hood. And then they went with the original theme and rocked my socks. Mark my words.. this show is gonna have legs. Its about time someone got a remake right and didn't spend an hour having the actors slit each others wrists to ellicit emotion. I'm so tired of Every. Fucking. Thing. from the last 10 years being as serious as a fucking heart attack. Not that those shows aren't good... but TeeVee in the form of shows like Magnum PI, TJ Hooker, Knight Rider, and any number of pure fluff pieces has been beaten to a pulp in favor of serious fare where everything all has to be all realistic and shit. Hopefully we'll see a resurgence of the type of TeeVee that made TeeVee great. Why do I like Covert Affairs? EXACT SAME REASON.
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you have heard of a little film called Lethal Weapon, haven't you. Sorry, but by-the-numbers cop vs. hothead risk-taking cop is probably the oldest cop cliche dynamic in the book.
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Neither show takes itself too seriously. Of the two, I'd say Human Target is the more serious, but like Magnum was. The Good Guys is good, goofy fun.
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LW.. doesn't matter man! I told ya... on location... hot babes... original song. Done, done, AND DONE! The writing can be a cheesefest(Lolz at his dad getting shot dead at the end of the cold open transitioning to the opening theme $$), the actors subpar(Alex O'Loughlin has a better shot at winning the Lottery than winning an Emmy), but if they got the original three things right... the rest is fine.<p><p> Human Target... I have! Quite like that show also. The Good Guys I have yet to see but I may now that you mention its in the same vein I may give it a try.
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There are none. And by saying that I mean Jack Lords McGarret was a complete A-hole. Treated his men like they were stupid kids. I'm not blaming that on Jack Lord, obviously it was the writing, but Lord still did a really good job of playing the "I'm smarter than all of you and the only reason I have you around is to do the leg work I don't want to do while fixing my hair in the office and figuring everything out form here" McGarrett.
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Been done a million times before but they still made it fresh.
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Just sayin'. And Lord's McGarrett was an ACLU liberal compared to this one (he scrupulously obtained warrants, for example) where the as yet unnamed 5-0 in this remake has been specifically set up to circumvent the law. I did like Danno's mustang, but MTV Hawaii clips on video won't draw viewers who want to see scenery. And no need to explain how "Danno" came about -- it's like explaining why someone named Peter is called "Pete". I gave it a chance. Not gonna waste time telling anybody how complex the original Steve-O was. Don't have to, it's on DVD. Aloha.
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Was the original Steve even a real human being? The only family we ever knew about was a sister we saw, ONCE. No backstory other than useless exposition, and never a hair out of place (not just talking about on his head). The original Steve was as shallow as a pie tin. We got more humanity out of the new Steve in the pilot than we did the original in it's whole run, and we're bound to get tons more as the show goes on. The only reason I wanted to compare is because it seems that's all people want to do when they bash this one, even before the pilot. Don't get me wrong, I loved the original, but if people really want to compare, they should use reasoning that doesn't seem like they never even watched the original, A-hole, Mcgarrett. My absolute favorite episode of the original 5-O is when Steve gets shot and Danny has to run the show to catch the guy. McGarrett had to actually swallow his big head and give Danno a "good job" at the end of the episode
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He was almost Captain Kirk but, would not take the part unless he got partial ownership of the show. He also got pissed off when any of the other actors on Five-O were called "Co-Stars"; Insisting that he was the only "Star" on the show.
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elements from good reviews out of context to make it seem like mostly negative reviews. Nicely done.
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That show needs an update.
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this show was fun. The chemistry between McGarrett and Danno was good, Grace Park was yum-cha and I don't think they're stupid enough to have killed off Spike. No, for a pilot ep it was a goodie. Was it Masterpiece Theatre? Fuck no, it was Hawaii 5-0 and I'm tuning in next week.
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Felt more like a CSI spinoff with all the tech stuff. bah!
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