Cool News
A Norwegian Documentary called THE TROLLHUNTER... Guillermo Del Toro Porn?
Hey folks, Harry here... the other night Tim League and I had dinner and at one quiet split second... he got this mad insane zealot gleam in his eye and he said... "Do you know THE TROLLHUNTER?" - there was something oddly conspiratorial about the entire question. He wasn't Busceming out, but he wasn't far from it. THEN - I get an email from a reader in Spain named Esteban, who asks, "Harry, Have you seen this?" Well, you have to understand. When shit a dinner is reflected in an unrelated email a night later. I take that shit seriously. So I clicked. And... now, I'm dying to see a Norwegian Documentary called THE TROLLHUNTER... and I'm real sure it is like completely real man! I think they have Trolls in Norway and I've got to see if they caught any of them on HD. I mean. This really could be that vital moment in history when we all remembered the day TROLLS were outed by that Norwegian Documentary... then next thing we know Katie Couric is doing some Troll Interest stories on the news. Bill Maher tells us about Dick Cheney's relatives. And I think Colbert could explode. By sheer will I will see this Documentary, ahem... god, I need to get some water. Enjoy:
-
+ Expand All
-
...when i see it.
-
"Is reflected in an unrelated email a night later?!?!?!?!"When shit AT dinner is reflected in an unrelated email THE NEXT NIGHT (or LATER THAT NIGHT)(COMMA not PERIOD), I take that shit seriously.Fuck, man, who taught you how to write, Harry?Great vid, though. Thanks.
-
Ohh I juz corrected Harrys grammer! My life sew complete XD jizz jizzz jizzzzz
-
Why, did you get the silver spoon?
-
No idea on that one?
-
This place is positively lousey with em! Hur hur hur...
-
Looks like they bluntly stole the idea from the awesome Swedish short "Tompta Gudh" (2002)...
-
This place is positively lousey with em! Hur hur hur...
-
Meanwhile I recommend you get your hands on Johanna Sinisalo's novel Troll: A Love Story (aka. Not before Sundown). It's very effective in blurring the lines between fact and fiction.
It's also been optioned for film by Carter Smith (The Ruins), but has been in developement hell for years. -
What the hell am I doing? The double posts are driving me nuts! Sorry y'all...
-
And no, it doesn't require the "silver spoon" to check your work for grammar, spelling, and general coherence. For fuck's sake, take some pride in your work.
-
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe.
-
...I think this might be one of those faux documentaries - or mockumentaries for short. Or it could be real, but hunters find no trolls. You better keep your expectations at reasonable level. Also, I don't think this film will have Guillermo del Toro fucking.
-
There's another clip on Twitch: http://twitchfilm.net/news/2010/08/troll-sighting.php
-
if you think there's any point at all in watching this movie, then don't look at the clip.
-
Sep 01, 2010 6:39:31 AM CDT
The sequel will be Trollhunters: Troll Harder
by planty_mcplant_plants_his_plant_at_aicn
This time it's war.
The trolls blow up the trollhunters' plane. One of the hunters throws his hands up in the air. "Game over, man. Game over!" -
That clip ruins the flick, as does the still shot they posted. This could have been Blair Witch fun...but looks like they are going the CGI route...like a bad version of District 9.
-
YOU'LL SHIT BRICKS!!!
-
There is this show on disocvery channel or some shit called monster hunters....do you jerk off every time you see one of their commercials harry? Because this is exactly the same as that. Or ghosthunters for that matter. Do you really think if it was in any way real, or they actually found something astounding, it would be airing at 2 am on discovery channel? By the same token, would this be a documentary being released in theaters if they actually found something worthwhile? No. It would be real news. Science. This is so fucking stupid I can't believe you're actually "excited" about this shit. Its basically ghost hunters "oh shit, did you hear that?!?! im shitting my pants right now because there is a ghost here. you cant see it on the camera, and there is literally no proof, btu im acting scared, and im telling you there is a ghost" compelling, compelling stuff. If it purports to show anything "out of this world" its fucking fake. If its totally real, it will show nothing, and nothing will happen, and there aren't fucking trolls. Honestly, is your article for real? Do you really need water after that? Do you live on the same planet as me?
-
I now THINK you were being sarcastic. Sarcasm doesn't come off well in text, and i should have reread after watching the trailer. "and I'm sure it is like, completely real man!" im going to assume thats overzealous sarcasm. At least I fucking hope. If you actually believe that....this would be the first time I say something negative to you harry. this is boneheaded.
-
I thought I'd clicked on the Norwegian Blair Witch trailer.
That was pants - aintitcool? no, not really.
-
drops camera/aaauuurrgghhh!!!!!/end movie.
-
. . . . in an unrelated email a night later." I'd think that was Jim Morrison if he ever knew what the hell e-mail is.
-
That's the clerk from Hostel. Looks like fun though.
-
dropped camera that focuses on a troll as it approaches the fallen cameraman.
-
dropped camera that focuses on a troll as it approaches the fallen cameraman.
-
how would even remember that?
-
Sep 01, 2010 8:06:51 AM CDT
The yellow words with exclamation marks made it fucking annoying
by dharma4
and really fucking stupid. cheers.
-
I just hope it isn't some deformed dude living in a cave or some gay shit like that.
-
Sep 01, 2010 8:23:25 AM CDT
So they're hunting the idiots who say Mad Men is a soap opera?
by johnnyangel
-
Sep 01, 2010 8:37:51 AM CDT
KNOWLES IS GETTING DUMBER AS HE GETS OLDER!!!FACT!!!
by creationisttechnophobicmaniacs
For fuck sakes, I KNOW I'm a better writer then I was ten years ago and, yet, Harry has been doing this shit "professionally", for a lot longer, and he STILL has no clue about grammar, or spelling, for that matter. When I write my posts, I do them in Microsoft Word and proofread them, often times revising them. Seems the only two things Knowles is good at is eating and sucking Hollywood cock.
-
Det Blair Heks Prosjekt
-
Couldn't resist namedropping one of your pals, huh?
-
Sep 01, 2010 9:07:15 AM CDT
My good friend is Norwegian, says Trolls are reall
by the green gargantua
he sings in a black metal band, so I believe him.
-
Sep 01, 2010 9:17:57 AM CDT
KNOW WHY THERE'S SOO MUCH THE DEL TORO DICK SUCKING THESE DAYS?!
by creationisttechnophobicmaniacs
I assume it has to do with the Mountains of Madness project getting support from James Cameron. Del Toror and Cameron being tight is the reason that Nick Nunziata has been kissing his ass for the last several years and managed to get an Associate Producer credit on Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Same thing with Jovanka Vuckovic, former Editor of Rue-Morgue magazine, who has announced preproduction of a short film she’s doing that is being backed by Del Toro. You know, back in the old days, people who wanted to become filmmakers had to work their way up to directing. Director’s like DePalma and Scorcese made short films, either on their own dime or through grants, and plowed away until they got the chance to make a feature. It doesn’t seem like that work ethic exists today. It seems that all you need to do is become a writer for a magazine or a website and suck enough cock until you convince some sucker that you have what it takes to make movies, even though you have no real track record to back you up. The funny thing is that you never see any of these people make anything in their spare time. Do you know what the Director’s of the 60’s and 70’s would have given if they had access to digital technology as it exists today? David Lynch made Inland Empire, a movie that I believe is very underrated, with a fucking low res camera and equipment that almost anyone could get their hands on. Yeah, it was over long and self indulgent, but it also had some fucking amazing stuff in there and there was NOTHING in that movie that couldn’t be done by anyone with the determination to do so instead of waiting for some Hollywood player cat to throw them a bone. End of rant.
-
I can tell you anything you want to know about trolls.
-
. . . of the trolls from the 'Gnomes' book. Anybody else have that? They made it into a kids' cartoon w/ Tom Bosley voicing the main Gnome. Awful.
-
Not even kidding. When I was little...Terrified. I used to think they were under my bed, and the only way to stay safe was to lie perfectly in the middle of the bed so their troll arms couldn't reach me from either side. And I wasn't big on milk. So that wasn't going to help me at all.
-
Hey Harry, you ever going to learn how to use proper grammar?
-
...where exactly does said-PORN, factor in here? We've had the last Twilight review (discussing threeways, and 'begging for it'), we've had wanking into socks (Piranha 3-D review), we've had The Serbian Film review..and now this....Harry's balls must be the size of spacehoppers, with the oh-so-clear frustration that is emitting from him....
-
Not fair.
-
as long as it involves one Cunt-faced reaper, 397 midgets and a glory hole.... That's some bloody-pussy-filled-midget-cum/midget-cock-blood-juice right there.... Now if there could only be some greasy-spike Vlad-style impaling involved....
-
Sep 01, 2010 10:21:26 AM CDT
GODDAMMIT.. forgot the chocolate covering.....
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
AAANNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Here's a preview i saw for this same film a few days ago, with an actual troll in it! http://twitchfilm.net/ news/2010/08/troll-sighting.php
-
No, just the ability to write a sentence that doesn't require a fucking universal translator and a team of NASA scientists to decipher. Guess I was one of the lucky ones whose neck wasn't encircled by an umbilical cord for a prolonged period during the birthing process. I ain't exactly a stickler for grammar on the internet (see use of "ain't" in this sentence), but one shouldn't have to reread a sentence multiple times in order to figure out how it was fucked up and what it should have said in order to make sense to people who speak English. But that's just me - Ricky Shroeder - wishing he could fuck Erin Gray. ;-)Or, translated to Harry-speak:"Butt jus me. Write ABLE. No transLATE!!!!!!!!!!!"
-
Living, breathing, proof positive that teachers' unions suck. That's all right, Harry. We still love you, even if we need the geek Rosetta Stone to understand what the hell you're trying to say. ;-)
-
and given us a movie that simply trolled the entire viwership for ninety minutes and never paid off in any way. lack of vision, that.
-
Fortunately, when we moved to Texas when I was ten, my parents researched the local Houston school districts and picked the best one they could afford at the time that was near their jobs - Alief Independent School District. AISD, at the time, stressed over-and-over again the old "topic sentence, three supporting sentences, details, and a concluding sentence. That shit was drummed into our heads for years and is a "jumping off point" for more varied paragraph and essay structures.Then again, my high school also produced Tia Tequila and gang warfare (years after me) so maybe it ain't all that.
-
STINK!!! Wipe ass!
-
"I was Busceming on that movie so bad I shit a dinner". I think it could catch on. Although, that may be what Harry is hoping for, and I don't want to encourage that.
-
Twitchfilm has a review up which I'm sure many of you will have read. Very conspicuous by its absence on aintitcool. It sounds like a huge missed opportunity to make a quality Lovecraft film. Oh and this troll hunter video is beyond shit. Why the fuck was it put up on here? Did Del Toro fart on the camera they used to shoot it with?
-
Sep 01, 2010 11:11:45 AM CDT
Also... to be real, the midgets would need to be
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
blinfolded, with earplugs and given promises of future stardom as mini-whatevers in future Austin Power films. Chaos, Arousal and Hilarity ensues.... I even have the title for this glorious reaper/gloryhole/midgetsacrifice porn/snuff film... Ya ready? The Tale of the Spunk-filled Midgets and the Fang-filled Vag.
-
Sep 01, 2010 11:13:56 AM CDT
Dammit, forgot the chocolate covering again!!!!!
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
I don't deserve to post here. I should be relegated to the benches with RPLocke and Co.
-
The fiends!
-
The shot that gives it away. Even though I don't speak the language, the actor's sing-songy delivery was a tell-tale sign. Looking back frame by frame, the shot looks too well staged to be from a documentary. Pity. I used to believe in trolls, this film hints that they not be real...
-
Seriously Harry, you're blaming the public school system? Proofread for crying out loud. Or hire an editor. Or use some sort of spell checker. Or don't. I think I'm done with this site. I literally skip anything where it's apparent from the headline you wrote it and have almost entirely stopped coming here anyway. Not to go all fanboy rampage, but I've slowly grown to hate this site. The writing is horrible, the antithesis of professional in both context and grammar, and the only things that kept me coming back were 1) Habit and 2) The fact this site does tend to collocate most of the major movie, TV, and general comic news in one place. Sadly, other than the Talkbacks I have grown to dislike this site, strongly at that. Sorry for the rant and I wish you the best personally, but in the off-chance you care the (quite literally) incomprehensible writing and the blatant sex analogies will eventually drive away at least some of your fans. Anyway, I'm out.
-
I'd love it if some studio made Ibsen's Peer Gynt with photorealistic trolls...
-
I wonder who they will get to play the Troll... http://tinyurl.com/pkpgsz
-
It looks like some one just ripped off Blair Witch, which was a sucky movie to begin with, and replaced the witch with trolls
-
Now that you're done proofreading and spell-chceking your posts, maybe you should learn the difference between "THEN" and "THAN", smart guy.
-
obviously, I don't spell-chcek my posts.
-
The "actors" seem to love to be in front of the camera while trying (and failing) to pretend that they're not enjoying being in fron of it. It's like watching Kelly Ripa on Regis and Kelly. It's all about her and her camera stealing ways.
-
Look no futher then this very talkbacks. Just have a little pacience and THE_CHOPPA will show up, then the troll hunting can begin.
-
Sep 01, 2010 5:48:54 PM CDT
So it's about assholes who post on blogs?
by harryknowlesnonexistentinceptionreview
In Norway?
-
... THE_CHOPPA will became an endangerous species soon enough. Good ridance to that, says I. The Dodo needs company, anyway.
-
Sep 01, 2010 5:53:13 PM CDT
Props to he Norweigians, hough...
by harryknowlesnonexistentinceptionreview
... Burning down Christian churches, becoming Thor-worshippers and joining black metal bands are the waves of the future! And yes, I'm totally serious!
-
Sep 01, 2010 5:55:35 PM CDT
Hurm... letter "t" booked outta there...
by harryknowlesnonexistentinceptionreview
...for a minute. Weird.
-
weird american customs you have, says i..
-
Slayer Class. I've taken many scalps and skinned many hides of the trolls who have dared to crawl out from under their bridges here at AICN. I take no pleasure in doling out justice and humiliation upon the rancid vermin and lower-level human beings who fester like a vomitous mass upon these Talkbacks. It is simply a task that must be done. And I feel no compassion for the vanquished...for mercy, is but a sigh upon the wind.Heh.
-
you can just do a search on any of the talk backs!:o)
-
...what?...another Blair Witch type movie?...zzzzzzzzzzz
-
She's very disappointed in her former student, she gives this article a D-
F+ for effort though. -
Let's go hunt some snipes!
-
Come on this has Blair Witch Project written all over. It's one of these fake documentaries. Is it real or was it faked? We don't know ooooh! Wow! Fuck off with this shit!
-
Sep 02, 2010 12:37:44 AM CDT
Don't u AICN nerds realize. We've become too cynical for this sh
by orionsangels
Stop insulting our intelligence. This would have been cute 10 years ago, but we've seen way too much by now to be impressed by anything.
-
That clip was hilarious! I too want to see the Blair Troll project.
-
When we saw this trailer in the theater before EXPENDABLES, we all thought it was a joke. And I still do.
-
Sep 02, 2010 6:05:09 AM CDT
Repeat after me: THIS IS SHIT. THIS IS SHIT. THIS IS SHIT.
by jonchambers
-
Sep 02, 2010 6:06:25 AM CDT
Harrry, admit it: You have a boner for Trolls & want a 3-way!!!!
by jonchambers
-
Spinal Tap.
-
Sep 02, 2010 10:32:19 AM CDT
My vote for best troll... drumroll please....
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
NerdRageRetardStrength.... Now that fucker should take a bow. If any cunt is hiding under a bridge it's that douche.
-
En spøk som i at du ikke tror den er ekte, eller som i at du synes den ser ræva ut?
-
You retarded ass monkey, looks like I ain't alone in the disdain for a sentence that makes no sense. Now go play with the other traumatic brain injury kids and let the adults with brains talk.
-
First, it'd be a target rich environment. Second, a lot of good talkbackers would get shot because a lot of other idiots would be pointing and screaming, "TROLL! SHOOT!!!" every time Joss Whedon or Lost got disparaged.So... high body count, a lot of Troll head trophies, a lot of collateral damage, and seventeen dudes in a talkback jerking each others' dicks while whispering "Lost" and "Whedon" in each others' ears!
-
You don't just get shit, you get cheesy shit.
-
The problem with correcting that sentence is that.... well.... it still sounds retarded.
-
Or my correction. Either way, though, you're probably right. Love this site (it's one of the ones that I check periodically throughout the day) and its contributors and talkbackers, but, damn, sometimes it's like reading some shit a ten-year old wrote after huffing paint for a good hour.
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hi_4GT35yc
A new clip from the movie has been released! -
If we were looking for a new "all your base are belong to us", that could well be it.Without the fast drum beat and silly, cartoon text interludes, I could get interested in this. With them, I wonder if the whole thing is a joke, and feel like my time would be wasted.There are already far too many 'action documentaries' on formerly-educational American TV channels these days; I don't feel much need for fake ones.All that said, if this could just be presented with an eerie, subdued tone and sense of mystery, I could get interested.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 225 total posts 224 posts
- SPACE 2099!! -- 126 total posts 126 posts
- Quint travels to Barsoom and visits the John Carter set!!! -- 90 total posts 90 posts
- OK. So Harrison Ford Isn't In Talks For The New BLADE RUNNER. But... -- 144 total posts 63 posts
- WETTER HOTTER AMERICAN SUMMER? -- 65 total posts 63 posts
- Crom! Grant The Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day revenge! And if you do not listen, den to Hell witchu! -- 58 total posts 58 posts
- Kurtzman And Boborci Producing An Adaptation Of Anne Rice's Lestat Novel TALE OF THE BODY THIEF?? -- 340 total posts 51 posts
- Wanna see a new theatrical Warner Brothers CG Cartoon voiced & sung by Mel Blanc with Daffy & Elmer? Yes, you do! -- 48 total posts 48 posts
- Thursday Is Sweeps Day Eight!! Yack Here About OFFICE, ROCK, UP, WIPEOUT, PERSON, FINDER, MENTALIST, IDOL, BANG, ROB, ANATOMY, JERSEY & More!! -- 117 total posts 44 posts
- The Sensorties Revisit The Friday Docback (And Still Smell)!! DOCTOR WHO Story #7 Again, The Coming Of Season/Series 7, And More!! -- 41 total posts 41 posts