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Fatboy Roberts Calls Robert Rodriguez’ MACHETE Some Irresponsibly Fun Wetwork!!
I am – Hercules!!
Longtime AICN reader Robert “Fatboy” Roberts here has a look at a film I am terribly anxious to see!
Don't you want to see Danny Trejo beat the shit out of Steven Seagal? I'm certain of it!!
Machete, co-directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, is everything Stallone was trying to do with The Expendables, but done correctly. Well, okay, “correctly” is kind of a strange word to use when describing something as sloppy and reckless as this film. Nothing about the film is technically “correct.” Much of what happens in the film falls under the category of “That shit ain’t right.” Machete is a hard film to describe.
At its core, Machete is a left-wing exploitation sleaze-fest, something I’ve not seen since John Carpenter pulled it off in They Live – and that’s not a comparison I make lightly. Once again, as with Planet Terror, Rodriguez is aiming for Grindhouse, but has skidded sideways off the target, indulging in the type of irresponsible cinematic joyriding that earned Carpenter a home in the hearts of genre fanboys. Maybe he’s doing it on accident, maybe not. Either way, I’m glad he’s doing it, because Carpenter sure as hell ain’t.
Irresponsible is maybe the best way to encapsulate the Machete experience. Brutal is a good word, too. Thuddingly corny is pretty apt. Gleefully gross, blithely blasphemous, stupidly satirical, sledgehammer subtle, all of them fit the film as snugly as the vest full of knives that BadAss Hall-Of-Famer Danny Trejo wears in the final act.
By the way, how the hell do we get to 2010 before someone thinks to cast Trejo as the lead in a theatrical release? We’ve been without a Charles Bronson heir since that squinty sonofabitch shuffled off this mortal coil in 2003. Hollywood’s spent too many years fruitlessly chasing the ghosts of Schwarzenegger and Stallone. Trejo’s time is long past due. He’s a real hardass, all crags and scowls, tats and steely sneers. Not like these aged, half-plastic HGH monsters who have to inject so much hormone they piss ground beef, who have to enlist squads of makeup-artists to hand-paint fake, meaningless “tribal” body-art on their bodies, just to vainly fail at approximating the authenticity of Trejo’s badassery.
I invoke the name of Bronson because that’s who Trejo is channeling here, and he pulls it off with Chuck’s closed-mouthed panache. He doesn’t have many lines, but he doesn’t need ‘em. He’s got presence. Fuckin’ loads of it. You know what else there’s loads of? Blood. Tits. Inventive action sequences, executed ruthlessly, and breathlessly, even if this film, like The Expendables, uses way too many CGI blades n’ blood. Maybe it can be chalked up to Rodriguez’s experience with cheap digital FX (he’s also the VFX Supervisor on the film) that the artificial gore doesn’t feel as lazy. There’s an impact to the cartoonish violence on display, even if there’s no ACTUAL impact.
I know I’ve beat up on The Expendables, but I do appreciate the film, in that it helps highlight all the things that Rodriguez/Maniquis have done right in comparison. Instead of 2 scene-chewing villains, Machete has 4, played by Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson, Robert DeNiro and Steven Seagal. I listed them in ascending order according to their level of slimy turdage. Fahey is slick and conniving, a mulleted equal-opportunity fucker. Johnson is the Sheriff Joe Arpaio stand-in, calmly sociopathic, a leathery shark in silver sideburns. DeNiro is a cross between Dubya and Charlie Crist – an opportunistic play-acting buffoon. And Seagal? He plays himself: A fat, despicable, pretentious bag of shit appropriating other people’s cultures with a greasy, covetous zeal he apparently reserves for only one other thing: Donuts.
The whole lineup of actors is, like in Stallone’s recent try-too-hard, ADD epic, a triumph of self-referential stunt casting; Cheech Marin as a weed-smoking priest with hidden cameras in the confessional, Michelle Rodriguez as a sweaty, bad-ass bitch, Jessica Alba as the over-earnest hot lady cop hiding her soft nature behind a tough facade. The only real misstep is Lindsay Lohan, who spends most of the movie literally just fucking laying there. And even that sorta works, as she’s been cast as a degenerate rich-girl party-whore.
The story is exactly what we were sold in the Grindhouse trailer. Fahey hires Trejo to kill the senator. Trejo is doublecrossed. He enlists the help of his brother and other day laborers and sympathetics to enact his revenge, which involves a metric fuckton of stabbings, an homage to Die Hard that replaces the firehose with a goon's intestines, a Cheechifixion, and yes, a chopper with a minigun mounted to the handlebars. All of this leads to a finale on Johnson’s militia compound, between corn-fed, border patrolling rednecks, and a collection of angry landscapers, dishwashers and an ice cream man, led by Machete and a 20-car convoy of tricked out, DeathRace-style reinforced Cutlass Supremes, Impalas and Monte Carlos.
There are a couple surprises. 1) Rodriguez keeps a firm grip on his often slippery pacing, at least until the very end, when the film overreaches for epic and grabs a big fistful of anti-climactic 2) It’s pretty political, albeit in a very ham-fisted way. People who believe that illegal immigration is tantamount to terrorism will likely get all sorts of pissed off, because Rodriguez makes those people out to be cartoonishly vile, racist degenerates worthy of a wide variety of grisly retributions.
But to get worked up about the politics is to miss the point. This is not a film people are going to rally around, or point to as a defining moment in their political awakening. The politics are here work solely as a means to introduce more ridiculous violence and goofy set-pieces. Same way right-wing, pro-facism propaganda made for legitimately great 80’s junk cinema. You could put stock in the ridiculously simplistic sloganeering on display, but then you’d be just as silly as the movie is. Best to just enjoy the speechifying done by Alba and Michelle Rodriguez the same way we enjoyed the uplifting mouthfuls of cheese spewed by Rocky and Rambo and Red Dawn.
You really want an 80’s throwback? Machete is that film. This is the winking, snickering, self-aware but still seriously asskicking concoction of explosions and mayhem, full of the giddy, one-liner laden, character rich treasures that the best 80’s junk cinema had to offer. That’s not to say Machete is a great movie. It’s much too messy for that. But it is a playfully infectious, irresponsibly fun piece of wetwork.
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At its core, Machete is a left-wing exploitation sleaze-fest, something I’ve not seen since John Carpenter pulled it off in They Live – and that’s not a comparison I make lightly. Once again, as with Planet Terror, Rodriguez is aiming for Grindhouse, but has skidded sideways off the target, indulging in the type of irresponsible cinematic joyriding that earned Carpenter a home in the hearts of genre fanboys. Maybe he’s doing it on accident, maybe not. Either way, I’m glad he’s doing it, because Carpenter sure as hell ain’t.
Irresponsible is maybe the best way to encapsulate the Machete experience. Brutal is a good word, too. Thuddingly corny is pretty apt. Gleefully gross, blithely blasphemous, stupidly satirical, sledgehammer subtle, all of them fit the film as snugly as the vest full of knives that BadAss Hall-Of-Famer Danny Trejo wears in the final act.
By the way, how the hell do we get to 2010 before someone thinks to cast Trejo as the lead in a theatrical release? We’ve been without a Charles Bronson heir since that squinty sonofabitch shuffled off this mortal coil in 2003. Hollywood’s spent too many years fruitlessly chasing the ghosts of Schwarzenegger and Stallone. Trejo’s time is long past due. He’s a real hardass, all crags and scowls, tats and steely sneers. Not like these aged, half-plastic HGH monsters who have to inject so much hormone they piss ground beef, who have to enlist squads of makeup-artists to hand-paint fake, meaningless “tribal” body-art on their bodies, just to vainly fail at approximating the authenticity of Trejo’s badassery.
I invoke the name of Bronson because that’s who Trejo is channeling here, and he pulls it off with Chuck’s closed-mouthed panache. He doesn’t have many lines, but he doesn’t need ‘em. He’s got presence. Fuckin’ loads of it. You know what else there’s loads of? Blood. Tits. Inventive action sequences, executed ruthlessly, and breathlessly, even if this film, like The Expendables, uses way too many CGI blades n’ blood. Maybe it can be chalked up to Rodriguez’s experience with cheap digital FX (he’s also the VFX Supervisor on the film) that the artificial gore doesn’t feel as lazy. There’s an impact to the cartoonish violence on display, even if there’s no ACTUAL impact.
I know I’ve beat up on The Expendables, but I do appreciate the film, in that it helps highlight all the things that Rodriguez/Maniquis have done right in comparison. Instead of 2 scene-chewing villains, Machete has 4, played by Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson, Robert DeNiro and Steven Seagal. I listed them in ascending order according to their level of slimy turdage. Fahey is slick and conniving, a mulleted equal-opportunity fucker. Johnson is the Sheriff Joe Arpaio stand-in, calmly sociopathic, a leathery shark in silver sideburns. DeNiro is a cross between Dubya and Charlie Crist – an opportunistic play-acting buffoon. And Seagal? He plays himself: A fat, despicable, pretentious bag of shit appropriating other people’s cultures with a greasy, covetous zeal he apparently reserves for only one other thing: Donuts.
The whole lineup of actors is, like in Stallone’s recent try-too-hard, ADD epic, a triumph of self-referential stunt casting; Cheech Marin as a weed-smoking priest with hidden cameras in the confessional, Michelle Rodriguez as a sweaty, bad-ass bitch, Jessica Alba as the over-earnest hot lady cop hiding her soft nature behind a tough facade. The only real misstep is Lindsay Lohan, who spends most of the movie literally just fucking laying there. And even that sorta works, as she’s been cast as a degenerate rich-girl party-whore.
The story is exactly what we were sold in the Grindhouse trailer. Fahey hires Trejo to kill the senator. Trejo is doublecrossed. He enlists the help of his brother and other day laborers and sympathetics to enact his revenge, which involves a metric fuckton of stabbings, an homage to Die Hard that replaces the firehose with a goon's intestines, a Cheechifixion, and yes, a chopper with a minigun mounted to the handlebars. All of this leads to a finale on Johnson’s militia compound, between corn-fed, border patrolling rednecks, and a collection of angry landscapers, dishwashers and an ice cream man, led by Machete and a 20-car convoy of tricked out, DeathRace-style reinforced Cutlass Supremes, Impalas and Monte Carlos.
There are a couple surprises. 1) Rodriguez keeps a firm grip on his often slippery pacing, at least until the very end, when the film overreaches for epic and grabs a big fistful of anti-climactic 2) It’s pretty political, albeit in a very ham-fisted way. People who believe that illegal immigration is tantamount to terrorism will likely get all sorts of pissed off, because Rodriguez makes those people out to be cartoonishly vile, racist degenerates worthy of a wide variety of grisly retributions.
But to get worked up about the politics is to miss the point. This is not a film people are going to rally around, or point to as a defining moment in their political awakening. The politics are here work solely as a means to introduce more ridiculous violence and goofy set-pieces. Same way right-wing, pro-facism propaganda made for legitimately great 80’s junk cinema. You could put stock in the ridiculously simplistic sloganeering on display, but then you’d be just as silly as the movie is. Best to just enjoy the speechifying done by Alba and Michelle Rodriguez the same way we enjoyed the uplifting mouthfuls of cheese spewed by Rocky and Rambo and Red Dawn.
You really want an 80’s throwback? Machete is that film. This is the winking, snickering, self-aware but still seriously asskicking concoction of explosions and mayhem, full of the giddy, one-liner laden, character rich treasures that the best 80’s junk cinema had to offer. That’s not to say Machete is a great movie. It’s much too messy for that. But it is a playfully infectious, irresponsibly fun piece of wetwork.
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Aug 31, 2010 2:51:29 AM CDT
I loved the expendables, so does that mean I'll hate this?
by sirgarycoleman
Robert Rodriguez Sin City was amazing, but a lot of his other stuff was crap...
I don't know what to think of this new movie. -
then FUCK THIS SHIT.
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Looks entertaining.
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is that he didn't like The Expendables.
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I think i'll enjoy Machete, but this flick's style didn't suit Expendables. Would've been just wrong.
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that I've had to wait three years for this to become reality. Hobo with a Shotgun next. *grabs more kleenex*
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dammit.
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one of the rare well-written reviews on this site. you laid on the expendables comparisons pretty thick, dude. i felt that wasn't necessary. otherwise, your enthusiasm and love for this kinda cinema shines through and is infectious.
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I remember these type of movies. I got dragged to them by my friends. But now it would be so freakin cool to go back and see this type of movie again. Looks like pure fun.
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It takes away from what was on the whole a quite decent review.
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. . . just highlights the stupidity of giving a regular spot to a 16 year old? Should I ask why this guy or someone like him wouldn't make a better addition to the site? Should I suggest that "the enemy" be moved over to reviewing CDs, since that spot has been vacant since the last failed attempt at nepotism? Or is all of that more poignant if it remains left unsaid?
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You have the world as your stage, as a Mexican/American filmmaker, and can make any kind of film that you choose, but instead you make trashy films??? Enough of this! Time to grow-up and show that you can be a great filmmaker, or at least, be a competent, thoughtful, and mature one. There are so many Mexican/American and Latino actors/actresses across the board, and the border, who fail to get good, and meaningful film roles, and instead of you facilitating good, to great, roles for them, in good, to great, films--you throw them garbage? You have a responsibilty to do better, and to serve Latinos in the world community with good role models. Clean-up your house, man!!! Don't blow the tremendous opportunity that you have in your hands...to change things in Hollywood, in a positive way.
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Girl don't realize how bad she messed up her career. Sure blame the adderall but now that she is off of that drug how come she is back to going to the same clubs again and hanging out with the same dykes etc. Work on your career you stupid bitch.
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Hopefully the real movie is better than the review makes it out to be. And hopefully audiences will give it a chance.
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this film is meant to be a modern throwback to another era and genre of film, the way 'The Expendables' is, but they're referencing totally different genres. 'The Expendables' is referencing action films, this film is referencing exploitation cinema.
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These directors really need to get that stuff correct, there's a scene in The Expendables where a guy gets his head blown off and it's AWFULLY DONE, a bit odd for Stalone because he handled it quite well in John Rambo, whilst a bit obvious it looked ok.
I'm presuming the money was running out for the effects in The Expendables but I still enjoyed it.
Here's hoping Machete does not suffer the same cgi stuff.. -
...sounds like something out of Story of Ricky even moreso. If it can hold a candle to Riki-oh's level of corny whupassery I am going to love this shit. Fair play Rodriguez, you listened to those of us in love with that Grindhouse trailer. I'd love to see more of those made a full cinematic reality...except for maybe Werewolf Women of the SS. It blew it's wad in that short space of time. While i'm at it, fuck back to White Zombie Rob. Your solo stuff is bollox. Glad he's not trying to rip off Al Jourgensen anymore though. He'd need some heroin to get the full effect anyway
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To see films that are made in a "Grindhouse" style or films that are deliberately made to be "So Bad It's Good". While "Piranha 3D" may have been fun to watch while drunk, and "Snakes on a Plane" may have been funny, these are not the types of films people are willing to spend 10-15 bucks on at the theater. If the premise sounds like something that could easily have been on the Syfy Channel, why bother? "Machete" can be a fun film, but I doubt it will do well. And I'm sure the barrage of positive reviews are soon to hit this site like a hurricane. But in the end, it's not going to be some huge hit."The Expendables" made bank because it was a throwback, took itself a bit more seriously than something like "Machete", and it featured a lot more Action Stars. All those factors helped mitigate the risk when buying a movie ticket. But a movie with ugly ass Danny Trejo as the star? Not going to do well. Also, I nearly stopped reading the review at "Machete is a left-wing exploitation sleaze-fest". I just know that with that small sentence, the talkback will soon get out of control with both extremes coming here to act like idiots and stop talking about the movie entirely.
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After "Predators". A movie that should have done without the whole Lawrence Fishburne part and focused on giving us a REAL action packed ending. None of that, lame fight, quick end, "Now let's get off this island" cut to credits bullshit. It's like they ran out of money to film a real ending.
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... the moment he called Seagal a "fat, despicable, pretentious bag of shit." Nice one.
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Now if i can only get my girl to go to this crazy shit with me... that'd be a miracle
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Why not go back to late Double Bills while everyone's out of pocket? You lucky bastards, we never got that in Ireland. Not to say we haven't tried though...Lady Terminator, Cruel Jaws, For Your Height Only, Street Trash, The Sinful Dwarf etc. These films have sold out cinemas and become the stuff of legend here. Why not just buy the rights to loads of wonderful pieces of shit in one fell swoop and then market accordingly? C'mon Hollywood, you know this stuff is funnier than any tired manchild fish out of water comedy. Arse candles
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And it's probably just me but, from the trailer, this looks like another Robert-de-Niro-going-through-the-motions role.Has he done anything 'good' since Heat & Jackie Brown? Stardust was distracting, I suppose, but other than that he just seems to be treading water of late. I'm not trying to piss on the guy's sunshine - he is a legendary actor - but where's the passion?
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didn't appreaciate THE EXPENDABLES. That movie was THE BOMB, even with it's minuses and the last 30 minutes of it a PURE MALE BORN AND RAISED IN THE 80's DREAM COME TRUE. FATBOY you suck cocks.
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It did feel like an 80's action flick. So fuck off.
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You didn't like Ronin? You're right though he's awfully complacent of late. His name is Bob-by (ooh ooh) Bobby DeNi-ro (ah ah) he's a love-ly persuan (ooh ooh) and a very good actor (ah ah). He was in Godfather 2 but not Godfather 3....are you are you are you looking at me?
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Chap eats his weetabix
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Aug 31, 2010 6:59:27 AM CDT
I hated the expendables, so does that mean I'll love this?
by cuervojones
Robert Rodriguez Sin City was crap, but a lot of his other stuff was amazing... I know what to think of this new movie.
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What is he, 2-20 now or something?
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On one hand, I thought The Expendables was one of the worst films I've ever seen, and I love Rodriguez's previous work. On the other hand, I do oppose illegal immigration and generally don't enjoy films where I'm made out to be the villain. I guess if Rodriguez wants to alienate a large percentage of his audience, they're his to lose. I may just have to stay home that weekend.
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Bullshit... Now I know you guys are bugging. If he weren't "Trejo", you'd be scared to approach him at a bar for fear that he may be a crazy homeless man because he's short and looks homeless. He's 66 years old and looks it. Sly gets shit for his looks, but he looks good for his age and half the geeks who try to shit on him can't even run a mile without crying or passing out. I wish I was just as in shape when I hit his age. Roids or not, mutherfucker still puts in a lot of work at the gym.
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awesome song
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I think I will love this. This seems way more inventive and exciting.
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Expendables Ruled! Enough said.
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I mean he didn't build himself up to look like a brick shithouse in the first place so he had no fall from physical grace. You'd sleep easier by not taking me seriously, since how these guys look at this age is never a big issue for me. Nor should it be for anyone without a vagina. Now i'm just kidding again. Yay UGG! Was hoping someone would latch onto that. I want Ken Korda: The Movie. Ritual humiliation for all.
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theater for this one then, eh?
This is good news. -
Aug 31, 2010 8:11:18 AM CDT
Didn't Alex Jones say this film would start a race war?
by stuntcock mike
Just like The Expendables would suddenly make us all proud to be men again after the systematic dumbing down of our manhood via dumbass motherfucking shit like Everybody Loves Raymond.
Oh wait, that actually happened.
Alex Jones is a fucking retard. -
Nooooooooooooo!!!!
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The way I see it with this review
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There's that, too.
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I like the cut of this guy's jib. Just sayin'
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Make a GOOD film in the style of the Grindhouse, dammit! Don't make another shitty Grindhouse movie!
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This movie looks like tons of fun.
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wetbacks, rednecks, Lefty Socialists and Neocon Fascists...as long as most of them die in this flick I'll get drunk and watch it.
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I wonder if they are promoting it on Univision...if not they are missing a golden Opportunity to rake in some easy money.
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Do you know who the fuck he is???? If you are trying to pull out the 'knock the conservative card' (which I don't mind)he is an independent who, if he wins his senate seat, will caucus with the democrats. So what the fuck are you talking about!
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And will MACHETE join the growing list of OTHER films championed by AICN only to die a quick death at the boxoffice? Sadly, the answer to both questions is "YES".
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I have seen it advertised on Univision and Telemundo. But I don't think many Latinos are going to rush out to see this. Also a lot of Latinos are foolishly racist toward one another. Cubans hate on Ricans. Ricans hate on Dominicans. And those three are known for making fun of Mexicans. So it could play well in CA and TX, but the East Coast? I'm thinking it wont.
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Aug 31, 2010 9:41:29 AM CDT
SO ... AMERICANS ARE THE BAD GUYS AND THE ILLEGALS ARE GOOD
by bringingsexyback
Welcome to Obama's America folks.
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Aug 31, 2010 9:44:24 AM CDT
THIS WILL COME AND GO EVEN FASTER THAN SCOTT PILGRIM
by bringingsexyback
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who helps Machete open the spigot for illegals?
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Haven't been for a long time. RR is on the far left loon side of things, like the reviewer. The excitement for this film really has been pissed on and it no longer is going to be an event. It's just going to kind of deflate.
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...to tequila instead of red wine.
Jou no...in solidarity. -
Hush, moron! Grown folks are talking!
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Let the grown folks continuing talking about ... Machete. LOL
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Bush, Reagan, Clinton, Hussein ... what's the diff. Tools one and all. The only politician with balls at this point is Jan Brewer. Seriously she should run for President. She'd win in a landslide.
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He said the film wasn't political at all, and that the Cinco De Mayo trailer was made up to make is 'seem' like it was political. Nice. Does the ghost of Robert Krentz show up anywhere in the film?
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An answer to Stallone's bullshit fascist crap. Now that's a fair and balanced fairness doctrine I could get into! I'm at the Houston Alamo Draft House this weekend...
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Puts you into my "not cool" book. Shame, as the rest of the review was really good.Fellas, is getting a theatrical in the UK?
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RR is dead to me. Since everyone is into fake trailers into real movies how about Fatties fart two?
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True dat. I'd rather see one of the Scorcher films starring Tugg Speedman.
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1987 movie about texas ranger taking on his childhood friend (Powers Booth) who is the local drug kingpin. That was a decent mexican border cop flick. Plus it was made when Nolte still looked good.
Check out the supporting cast:
Rip Torn
Maria Conchita Alonso
Clancy Brown of Highlander, Starship Trooper fame and voice of Luthor!!
Michael Ironside
Big hello to CHOPPAH and Sexy. CHOPPAH you've been gone a few days hope things are ok with you.
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boring, unfunny, uncreative... but i will see this... RR is one of my fave directors (not sayin he is good, just sayin i love faculty, sin city, dusk til dawn)
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It will be GLORIOUS!!
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You mean to say Choppah was not in da house for a few days? Refueling perhaps?
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Aug 31, 2010 2:11:45 PM CDT
You see, it's "left-wing" because national borders are "right wi
by darth_inedible
...But this is only true in awful racist America where we take in more immigrants every year than any other country on the planet. Any other country like Sweden, Germany, France etc can actually enforce their borders and still be cool. Mexico can even use military police on their borders and shoot people who cross over from Guatemala and it's all chill.
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Still, glad you're back and full of fire and brimstone like you always are.
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Write more reviews. This was fantastic.
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Was she 100% cotton or a poly blend?
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..The Expendables.Damn Good Film! Stallone's return to true form.
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..then one can only hope that werewolves of the SS can get the greenlight.
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I'm in.
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Some of the fights were great..but it lacked focus..didn't know who the movie was about..it seemed all pointless and I didn't understand half the stuff people said..and had headache inducing camera work.. was really rooting for that one. As for Machete..not a fan of Rodriquez or Grindhouse and that trailer looks like something that would be a student project in film school or a little quickly made skit to be shown on the mtv movie awards, mad tv or snl.
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Aug 31, 2010 4:10:38 PM CDT
YEAH I WOODNT MIND SOME OF JESSICA'S HOT BEEF INJECTION!!!!!FACT
by bringingsexyback
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Illegal immigration is stimulated by slave wage jobs on this side of the border. The U.S. Government and corporations encourage it, as it means big money for them. Slavery hasn't died, it is found in the migrant worker, as he/she is the new slave. They are victims, not criminals, at least, the vast majority of them, and those involved in crime are largely forced into it by circumstance. It would be very easy for the U.S. government to stop it, illegal immigration, that is, but they won't because of the money generated from the immigrants' status--as they, have to work for slave wages--again, something that is encouraged by the U.S. government and corporations.If they cared about the people of Mexico, and the U.S. worker, they would make it a felony to hire illegal immigrants, for the protection of those immigrants, so they won't be exploited by those whom hire them, or those who would illegally trasport them across the border. These workers are often the targets of rape and murder by smugglers and by employers, and potential employers, in the U.S., and yet, knowing this, these brave men, women, and children-- sometimes whole families, brave coming here, out of great desperation to survive--and to take care of their loved ones. They are an honorable people!!!Crossing the border isn't fun for them, and it is not a choice, but a must, and our government and industry exploits them for cheap labor. That is wrong and won't change, but we can at least give them a fair living wage.We need to distribute work visas to all that qualify for them, south of the border, and those already here, that being people without serious criminal records, and force employers to hire from that pool of workers. Next, the corporations would be forced to give them benefits, including health benefits, pensions, and comply with worker protection laws. The workers would pay taxes, and their kids will be openly allowed to attend American schools, and the families will be allowed to collect welfare. Lastly, workers could apply for citizenship. That is the right thing to do, and the honorable thing to do. Slavery isn't over, the plantations are still on the farm fields, found in construction work, and now, at hotels, motels, and restaurants, etc. And jails and prisons, the latter two, are used to house illegal workers who are caught in raids. It is time to do the humanitarian thing, and fix this issue. We also need to "nation build" in Mexico and build-up the Mexican economy--fix the standard of living, the educational system, the medical system, and the water system, so the water will be clean, this while rebuilding and vetting their law enforcement. That is the only way to stop, or lessen, the cross-border drug trade, weapons smuggling, and violence. PS: Mexico is the number 1 oil supplier of the U.S., not the Middle East, and is producing the world's biggest number of new billionaires along with Russia. Time to force those elite Mexican billionaires, and the Mexican government that supports them, to share the wealth with their people, and build new infra-structure for the Mexican society.
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...this issue into a reason to hate Mexicans by fueling racism toward them. This is an issue of poverty, and U.S. companies being allowed to get rich from exploiting that tragedy. Those U.S. companies were already rich prior, but they wish to exploit others to get that much richier. The question then becomes, "How much money, is enough money?" When you can't possibly spend it all, why, as corporate execs, do they constantly position themselves for more ungodly sums of money, at the expense of others?
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Ah, so the Cinco de Mayo trailer DID pretty accurately reflect the movie, in all its racist glory, huh? Go figure. Deserves all the heat it will get, for the couple of days it is in theaters.
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Aug 31, 2010 5:12:12 PM CDT
Again, does the idiot reviewer know who Charlie Crist is?
by matthooper8
He is an independent who will caucus with the Democrats if elected to Senate. Some douche bags need to get their facts straight, even in an idiotic, pointless , badly written review.
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While I agree with you about greedy corporations, you are a fuckin' liar about Mexico's oil stats. We imported 583k gallons from them in 2004 and less than 400k in 2009. We import 1.8 MILLION gallons per year from the Middle East. Quit fuckin' making shit up.
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Aug 31, 2010 5:59:29 PM CDT
Read this review - But what did Harry think of INCEPTION????
by jonchambers
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LOL! Yeah, I can practically see the halos on those day laborers' heads. They're angels! They're not criminally inclined at all. I mean, sneaking into someone else's country and evading their laws and tax system so you don't contribute a cent while making anchor babies is just angelic! And let's not even talk about those who end up robbing the people they worked for. Shit, they're Mother Fucking Teresa!
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because people that run theaters suck. you can't jerk off anymore. you can't sniff or smoke coke. it sucks. all the boys are straight and the girls don't have dicks. theaters need to get it together. going to the movies needs to be a party. last time i truly ripped it the fuck up at the theater was "THE GOOD SON" that shit was mad fucking popping. dicks everywhere and i was like mumumbelellele! yeeeee!
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People in this country illegally are like 9 or 10 times less likely to commit another crime than US citizens. And take a look at the US's role in NAFTA and such, and tell me those policies aren't displacing people. white folks like me are the ones not indigenous to this continent. I hope this movie sets people off. Fuck Arizona and fuck racism. I can't wait to watch conservatives cannibalize themselves in November. Maybe this blu ray will come out on election day.
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...um, pretty interesting post I guess... lets see how long this new schtick lasts (I know youre "somebody")
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Okay we get it, there used to be these POS movies made on zero budget that would show up in ghetto theaters and get shown over and over and over and over....and they were so crummy that the only people that would like them would be delinquent losers like young QT and RR that were irresponsibly let in...and gosh they made a real impression on these guys so that when they got all growed up they wanted to "honor" these artistic touchstones of their youth by making--the *exact same kind of movies*, with the same cheap-a$$ look, except they needed to spend big bucks to do it, and charge $10 a ticket to the public so they can enjoy their masturbatory fantasies. Yeah, we got it. We got it with "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels", "Grindhouse", "Inglorious Basterds", etc....and now this shiite, with crater face danny trejo...jeeeeeeeeezus, when is everyone going to grow up?
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Illegal aliens are 100% more likely to commit crimes than citizens because they're ILLEGAL.
As for Arizona, they're just trying to stem the huge tide of illegals flowing in and out of their state. They more than any state bear the burden of the problem. They're not the enemy. They are our countrymen. We need to stand by them, American to American. -
Aug 31, 2010 8:08:06 PM CDT
You want to stop illegals from coming here, stop hiring them
by madeyemongo
Enforce the laws that are supposed to punish corporations from hiring illegals. If they can't find work, they'll stop coming here.
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They're the one's still in mexico; the one's coming across the border are the motivated, hard working ones.
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why is there never any sexy senoritas workin at Chipotle? and I groan to myself anytime I see a non-Hispanic there...freakin affirmitive action
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get revenge against his own government? To the extent that poverty exists that sparks illegal immigration, it's because the Mexican government is corrupt.
Now doesn't this debate spell a good time at the movies? I'd rather watch the Three Burials of Miguel Estrada, at this point. -
Did you just actually accuse people who are against illegal immigration of believing that illegal immigrants are the same as terrorists?
Look, I'm against illegal immigration. I have a right to be against it, and every other hard working legal American citizen should be against it as well. Illegal immigrants leach off our economy, and our population is going up way too fast to sustain both them and everyone else. But do people compare them to terrorists? Absolutely not, at least not most sensible thinking people. Illegal immigrants are just common people who want a better life, and I can't blame them for wanting to come to America. But America has a right to protect its sovereignty and expect themn to come here the right and legal way. And if Mexico wasn't responsible for for its people starving to death, maybe they wouldn't be so quick to want to come to the U.S. in the first place.
Oh, and Mexico is so hypocritical that if they catch an illegal in THEIR country, they throw them in jail for two years, but they turn right around and lash out at the U.S. for wanting to keep illegals out? Bullshit.
http://tinyurl.com/23gnkca -
I smell Oscar!!!
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All the stylish 70's-sploitation film directing here doesn't change that.
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sequels to other peoples' franchises...Predators anyone? What a screaming POS that was. Put a fork in him--please.
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Elo Roth! Robert Rodriguz! Guy who made Step Up 3D.
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...was one shady muvvafuckah. Read up on the beatings she doled out. Which kinda makes your whole statement worthless (seeing as USAmerica was, and still is, populated by immigrants - and I should know, I'm British.) Unless you're a Native American Indian I'd shut the fuck up you racist immigrant.
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Sep 01, 2010 6:39:17 AM CDT
And I can trace mt ancestory back to the first landings in the '
by workshed
'William Sutton'. No kidding. So get the fuck out of my cunttry. Now bitch.
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...sconed. I hope Machete lives up to the trailer but I doubt it. Too many 'stars'. Should kept the original cast who were much hotter. 'Speshly the young lady with the hot breasts in the even hotter tub.
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I'm sure whatever beatings Mother Teresa doled out were well deserved. Some people need harsh discipline. Didn't your mommy ever spank you when you were bad? She did it out of love right? Same thing.
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wouldn't touche a fowl loser troll like you with a 10 feet poll.
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... for Danny Trejo to finally get a staring role in a movie. The dude need to reach his 60s to finally get something he has been deserving of for 20 years now. And this has to be a reunion os sorts for him and DeNiro, since both were in HEAT, only now it's Trejo who's the lead. Don Johnson as a racist sociopathic redneck sherriff? I got to see that!!
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That's how the title of the above post should had read. When an edit button, damit?
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I wish Mother Teresa was still around to give you and your ilk a well-derserved ass-whipping!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!! Media Messiah has it right - let's not use a dumb movie that's meant as mindless entertainment as a excuse to further the racist rantings of a bunch of right-wing douchebags. And no, I'm not saying that everyone who opposes illegal immigration is a racist. But there are a whole bunch of folks out there who hate non-white people, including Mexicans, and they use this anti-immigration hysteria as an excuse. You assholes know who you are!
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My ilk? You mean tax-paying, law-abiding citizens who subsidize tax-evading illegals who leech off the society we maintain? That ilk?
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(assuming he has one) and turn it into housing for illegals. No charge of course, because that would be wrong to make them pay for housing.
Screwbini will also provide free food and healthcare because he loves illegals so much. Not to mention it would be wrong to make illegals pay for food and healthcare.
He'll also provide them with teachers, books, computers and Internet access. Free of charge, because as an illegal you're entitled to these things.
This way, everybody wins.
Taxpayers don't get fucked, and he gets to practice what he preaches. How's that, Screwbini? You game? -
Sign that guy up, he knows his way around a word or two.
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YOU come and try to take my house! And speaking of wasting taxpayers money - obviously the tax dollars spent on your education were wasted, because your reading comprehension skills are sorely lacking! Where did I say anythig about it being wrong to make illegal immigrants pay for anything or that they should face no consequences for entering this country illegally? I deliberately didn't get into all that because it is a much more complex issue than that. My only point was folks should not use the immigration issue as a cover-up for racism, which too many folks are doing these days. And certainly not as part of a discussion about this silly little B-movie that in no way appears to be an attempt at a serious discussion about illegal immigration. My comment about you and your ilk being whipped by Mother Teresa was meant in jest (I even put the "ha ha's" in there for you, but I guess you didn't get it). If you aren't one of those folks who masks their racism by claiming it's all about illegal immigration, then my comments weren't aimed at you. If you are, man up and own it. But don't distort what I said. And for Christ's sake, don't whine! Now, when will you be showing up at my house?
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PS Asimov is right that Danny Trejo is finally getting some respect for all the decades of work that guy has done.
Wanna see how good Danny Trejo is? Check out "Sherrybaby" starring Maggie Gyllenhaal. -
My bad. Sorry to have upset you like that.
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since the Grindhouse faux trailer. Bring it!
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Only a low percentage of our oil actually comes from the Middle East. The news media knows this to be a true, but they sell us the repeated claims that the bulk of our oil comes from the Middle East. It does not, it comes from Mexico and Canada.
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...you'd run across the border too, if it meant feeding your family, have Anchor Babies, and everything else you mentioned. It is our corrupt government, along with the corrupt Mexican government, and greedy U.S. and Mexican corporations, that created, and sustain, this mad cycle--again, for greed. An now the U.S. is hurting financially, in what is certainly a new "Great Depression", so don't be suprised, any day now, if you wind-up without a job, and hungry too--and desperate for any glimmer of hope to feed your family, including those found in acts of crime. Even saints have to eat, and only a true saint would do whatever needed to be done to feed their spouse, child, siblings, or parent.
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Balding loud-mouthed obnoxious twatbag of a midget, who seems to have made it his life's duty to tell every fanboy/nerd/geek on the planet how to ‘be cool’ via his self-indulgent daily podcast and ridiculously overly analytical scrawlings for various movie review sites. His ramblings are the verbal equivalent of a raging mud slide…the mud slide being the more coherent of the two.
Fatboy can all too frequently be heard yelling "HEY ASSHOLE! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!" into his be-spittled microphone for the most minor of 'pop culture faux pas'.
What a cunt. Cort's pretty cool tho :)
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