Movie News

Plastic Man sends in a review of RED from an advanced screening!

Published at: Aug. 15, 2010, 6:43 p.m. CST

Hey folks, Harry here and this is a film that I'm hoping kicks ass - I mean, look at this trailer... Check out that shot of Bruce calmly stepping out of that twisting car to fire... so cool. Helen Mirren blowing shit away. Cool. Hitting Richard Dreyfuss in the face, precious! Oh wait - was that Ernest Borgnine? There's a mutherfucking member of THE WILD BUNCH in this flick? Sign me up. And the review from an early test screening marks it an 8 out of 10, which is a pretty high mark. Now the director was the same guy behind THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE, which I liked his direction of - even if the story didn't quite work for me. But here - he's got a film based upon Warren Ellis' brainpan and that's something to look forward to, right? Right. Here's the trailer and the review - watch out for spoilers!





hello Mr Knowles was not sure who to send this to but i know you guys sometimes post reviews of movies from folks who have seen advance screenings and what not so i thought id send you my quick thoughts on the new Bruce Willis film RED which i was lucky enough to see today and it does not even come out for a full 2 month :) So disclaimer the version they showed us at the screening was said to be a work in progress copy meaning that some of the effects shots were not completed as in a few green screen shots and some cgi. The film is based on the graphic novel RED from DC comics which i have yet to read so i can not really make a fair comparison of if it is faithful to the original source or not. But the film follows Bruce Willis character Frank Moses who is a retired black ops CIA agent who has a crush on Sarah (played by Mary Louis Parker from weeds) who he has only ever talked to over the phone, but when an assassin is assigned to take out Frank his and Sarahs worlds collide as they try to figure out who is trying to have frank killed and why. Thats as much of the plot that id like to discuss because its hard to discuss the rest of the general plot without telling you the whole thing but its a fairly standard action comedy type of movie. Franks team though is composed of Joe, Victoria, and Marvin (played by Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirran, and John Malkovich respectively) who are all also retired operatives who help Frank along the way. I just have to say John Malkovich completely steals the movies as Marvin a paranoid former agent who is convinced everyone is trying to kill him just a great performance from him. There are also good performances from Richard Dreyfuss as a slimy businessman and Brian Cox as a former Russian operative with a thing for Helen Mirrans character, but i have to give it up to Ernest Borgnine playing the Record Keeper even at 93 the guy has still got it. Also Karl Urban plays Cooper who is essentially the guy assigned to kill Frank and to be completely honest i didnt even realize it was Urban til i got home and looked up who played the character just a complete 180 from his portal of Bones in Star Trek. Overall it is a fun flick and alot more humorious then i expected with some cool fight scenes and gunplay, however the only issue i really did have with the film was that it had a weird pacing issue. At only 110 minute runtime (without credits) it seems and feels like a much longer movie so im not sure if they are going to cut more of it but the 1st half of the movie definitely suffers from this issue. Overall i think Summit has a decent non-twilight related hit on there hands but if its not re edited it could lose it re-playability . Out of 10 id give it a 8 If you use this call me Plastic Man (when you see the movie you will understand the name)

Readers Talkback

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  • Aug. 15, 2010, 6:47 p.m. CST

    What no Inception review Plastic Man?

    by Harry_Knowles_Fell_Asleep_During_Inception

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Movie looks cool.

    by DiscoGodfather

    But the sentences in that review are kind of long. I don't mean to be a total grammar snob (okay, yes I do), but would a little punctuation kill anyone? Really?

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 6:49 p.m. CST

    Regardless...

    by DiscoGodfather

    It's nice to see the site going back to the good old days of poorly written submitted reviews instead of the whole staff shilling the same movies over and over. Slowly but surely.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 6:54 p.m. CST

    Borgnine is a very skilled lover!

    by Psycho_Kenshin

    RED looks sick

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Nothing like the book

    by ktaylor2

    Having seen the trailers, I must say this looks nothing like the book. The book is dark violent. This looks like some crappy PG-13 comedy. The point of the book was that the new head of the CIA is shown this guys file. And even though he is retired, he has done so many things that are truly horrible, that his death is ordered. This movie looks more like a bunch of geezers out having a good ole time, instead of the dangerous agent that the book represents.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:01 p.m. CST

    I fell asleep in 'Red' and missed most of it

    by Seph_J

    but I can report back that its fault was that it should have dreamed a little larger. <p> And I ducked out for a piss during that scene when Bruce Willis, Ernest Borgnine, James Dean, River Phoenix, Marlon Brando and Marilyn Monroe started reading all that dialogue written by Kubrick.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:01 p.m. CST

    This may be fun, but

    by fanboy71

    It does not look like the book at all. The book was not a buddy movie type of book. It was one guy. Why even name it after the comic when it strays so far from the source? Just call it the old dudes or something.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:09 p.m. CST

    Helen Mirren deserves the adulation.....

    by Jehovahs_Witness

    ...that Betty White is getting.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:09 p.m. CST

    I wonder if

    by Seph_J

    when actors get on set with Helen Mirren, they have to try really hard to not think about Caligula.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Shouldn't there be standards?

    by oisin5199

    This gives us no information and seems to be written by a 10 year old. Ever heard of a run-on sentence? Might want to look it up.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:18 p.m. CST

    Calling shenanigans on this one

    by palimpsest

    I just don't believe the mix of woeful grammar/spelling and the accuracy of the cast/crew details. File under plant, I'm afraid.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:19 p.m. CST

    never heard back in the saddle again before...

    by HaterofCrap

    ...in these old guys kick ass movies. thats some creative marketing and they should all be fired. movie looks fucking corny. girl time? give me a fuckin break.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:29 p.m. CST

    Doesnt make it sound like an 8/10 movie

    by John_McClanes_Vest

    More like a 6 an a half. Looks okay, but a bit fluffy and forgetable, like most Willis flicks these days

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:30 p.m. CST

    Ernest Borgnine!

    by lochkray

    Jeez, last thing I saw him in was as a boy scout leader in an episode of the Simpsons, from the early years. But, man, what a resume: Dirty Dozen, Wild Bunch, Posiedon Adventure, Escape from New York. An unnatractive, overweight, balding actor of limited talent - and he still steals every scene he's in. Yay Ernest Borgnine!

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:35 p.m. CST

    Only the same is taken from the comic

    by Browncoat_Jedi

    This "Red" has nothing to do with the comic. So much was changed, it's no longer a Warren Ellis property in essence.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:35 p.m. CST

    A review worse than Harry's.

    by davidwebb

    I'm not even going to call plant on this one. Did he get most of that from Wikipedia?

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:47 p.m. CST

    It looks 10 times better than "The Expendables"

    by bierce

    Just from the trailer alone.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:47 p.m. CST

    WHERE

    by SkidMarkedUndies

    DAMN IT, I WANT TO KNOW HOW GOOD OR BAD IT IS?!?! ARRRGGG!

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:47 p.m. CST

    WHERE

    by SkidMarkedUndies

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 7:48 p.m. CST

    WHERE"S IS MY EAT PRAY LOVE REVIEW?!?!?

    by SkidMarkedUndies

    DAMN IT!! THE ENTER KEY SUCKS ASS!!!

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 8:19 p.m. CST

    Is this based on a comic book too?

    by RPLocke

    Shit, it's gonna go the way of Scott Pilgrim.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 8:30 p.m. CST

    RED = Real Erectile Disfunction

    by James_Camera_On

    Comic book no one has ever heard of + geezers in need of a paycheck = box office gold. You can count on it.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 8:38 p.m. CST

    bullshit

    by cesareo

    plastic man=plant=fake plastic trees

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 8:39 p.m. CST

    He HAS to die.

    by ganda1f

    Great, short, brutal comic. Always wondered how they could stretch that great little story into a film.<br><br>Apparently, the answer is to take someone elses script and use FIND>REPLACE to make sure some names match those of the comic.<BR>Oh well, at least Warren Ellis gets some bank out of this. Even if it makes no sense whatsoever.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 8:46 p.m. CST

    Kinda bummed about the PG-13ness, but it looks cool

    by SoylentMean

    After the dregs that this year has given us at the movies I'm really looking forward to anything that even looks remotely interesting. <P> P.S. That shot of Bruce stepping out of the car in the trailer sold me on seeing this movie.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 8:50 p.m. CST

    Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, Ernest Borgnine . . .

    by kevinwillis.net

    What's not to like? It can set fire to the comic and throw it in the toilet, for all I care. That'd continue to stand alone, anyway. It looks like a killer cast (more Borgnine in all things, please) and just watch them interact already means it'll be better than Oceans 11/12/13.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Bourne Identity meets The Bucket List

    by Jehovahs_Witness

    Put it in a blender and, voila!

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 9:18 p.m. CST

    How 'bout that Iron Man 2, RPLocke?

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    That gonna go the way of the comic book movie and Scott Pilgrim, too? It still dropping like a rock? James Cameron gonna be laughing his ass off, too?

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 9:48 p.m. CST

    The Bicycle Sharer why dont you whine about Lost

    by RPLocke

    and how bad season Six was despite getting 13 emmy noms.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:26 p.m. CST

    RPLocke

    by capocapocapo

    While I didn't mind the last season of Lost.. Let's not throw around the "Emmy" card. I mean, fuck, Two and a Half Men gets nominated for shit all the time, doesn't it? =/

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:27 p.m. CST

    hopefully someday Red will review Plastic Man

    by BEYONDTHUNDERDOME2GIRLS1CUPBILLCOSBY

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:28 p.m. CST

    also what's with Bruce Willis's sudden laziness in the charactor

    by BEYONDTHUNDERDOME2GIRLS1CUPBILLCOSBY

    In every movie he's a bald, facial hairless white man in a black leather jacket.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:32 p.m. CST

    Go see Animal Kingdom

    by torontoxic

    Its one of the best movies of the year and this site has totally ignored it. <P> I guess its come down to sponsored editorial pieces only? <P> Oh and who gives a fuck about this desperate piece of shit? Nobody.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:33 p.m. CST

    ERNEST BORGNINE

    by frank cotton

    is one strike, right off the bat. i'd see it for JOHN MALKOVICH alone - RIPLEY'S GAME. end of line

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:36 p.m. CST

    capocapocapo

    by RPLocke

    There's more quality in a bad episode of Lost than an episode of Two and a Half Men.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:44 p.m. CST

    The only good thing about this movie is that it has...

    by moonlightdrive

    Ernest Borgnine in it. And Harry, Bruce getting out of a twisting car looks crap and fake (but the idea is cool).

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:46 p.m. CST

    Mirren usually has good taste in movies she takes

    by leo54304

    Morgan Freeman is a plus for me to see the movie. And Brian Cox (always good) is Helens ex-flame who reconnect with each other in the middle of a shoot out. For me, I'll just fantasize Helen is channeling Emma Peel at her age which for damn sure is going to put my butt in a theater seat.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:50 p.m. CST

    FUCK YEAH!!

    by leo54304

    This is gonna be better than a BJ from Diana Rigg in her prime!!

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 10:54 p.m. CST

    I kill people dear - Helen Mirren

    by leo54304

    Dont'cha just love it when british women can talk trash and make it sound high class. If you wanna hear just how sexy the word "fuck" sounds, listen to Britains Lilly Allen. Such a dirty little songbird.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 11:06 p.m. CST

    i'm still waiting for my Cats & Dogs 2 review Harry

    by ludmir88

    you know it has cats and dogs talking and the revenge of kitty galore so it must be a masterpiece compared to Inception right?

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Amusing, but I'd rather see this cast in a good movie...

    by BurnHollywood

    The trailer reeked of that Hollywood action-dramedy horseshit of putting a large caliber weapon in someone's hands and hoping something hilarious or !!!AWESOME!!1! happens.<p> You can't keep a hack screenwriter away from firearms, even though they don't have the faintest idea how the fucking things work or when and where to use them.

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Helen Mirren is the new Dame Judy Dench

    by RPLocke

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 11:33 p.m. CST

    god, Borgnine

    by Gungan Slayer

    is fucking awesome

  • Aug. 15, 2010, 11:34 p.m. CST

    I thought Borgnine died a long time ago

    by DarthBakpao

    That man is a true living legend

  • Aug. 16, 2010, midnight CST

    by Helljin

    There have been preview's screenings of this for several weeks now. Generally the word of mouth review's have been good for RED. Yes there are changes, Warren Ellis said the book would only fill about 45 minutes of screen time. Plus who doesn't want to see Helen Mirren packing large weapons? Double plus good is Mister Ernest Bourgnine....... Hmmmm....there's a Borg named seven of nine.....hmmm....Borg.....nine.....hmmmm

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 12:12 a.m. CST

    8/10? Bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by ChiTownsBest

    What movie did this guy see? It wasn't the same one I saw. This movie is complete and total garbage. I want to know who paid this reviewer to write this shitty review. This movie was bad and the crowd I saw it with pretty much agreed.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 12:41 a.m. CST

    AAAGAHGHGAGH! CANNOT WAIT!

    by Keblar

    Didn't read review, don't care. For once they have me on cast and trailer, and I will judge for myself.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 1:29 a.m. CST

    Seriously, how can this NOT kick ass?

    by Somerichs

    So there...as in, "I am SO there..."

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 1:40 a.m. CST

    @ChiTownsBest - Care to elaborate?

    by V'Shael

    Can you post a review in the talkbacks, without just saying it was garbage? <p>

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Old guys the movie

    by RPLocke

    Here's another chance to see Bruce Willis in the same role.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 2:08 a.m. CST

    Is there any porn of Helen Mirren online?

    by MegaStiffy

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 2:20 a.m. CST

    WE HAVE TO SEE HELEN MIRREN'S BREASTS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by JonChambers

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 2:21 a.m. CST

    PLEASE - NO ERNEST BORGNINE NUDE SCENES...!

    by JonChambers

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 2:22 a.m. CST

    AND NO RICHARD DREYFUSS BUTT SHOTS EITHER!!!

    by JonChambers

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 2:53 a.m. CST

    What WTF is Meryl Streep NOT doing in this movie?

    by RPLocke

    Too busy doing crap work with Alec Baldwin?

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 3:03 a.m. CST

    Plastic Man is an anagram of....

    by onezeroone

    Plant! Scam

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 3:34 a.m. CST

    @onezeroone - No it's not but nice try

    by V'Shael

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 3:34 a.m. CST

    @MegaStiffy - No porn, but she has gotten

    by V'Shael

    naked in many many movies. Check Mr Skin for details.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 4:17 a.m. CST

    @V'Shael Here ya go!

    by ChiTownsBest

    I sent this to AICN but I'll post it here. It's just my opinion and nothing else.... but this movie stinks! Hi Harry. I've never submitted a review before but after reading the horrible review of RED ,by Plasticman, posted on AICN I felt compelled to write one. We were not informed at the screening that the film was not finished, but it was pretty obvious since the cgi appeared unfinished and the music track was a temp score. I noticed music from the Steven Soderbergh movie Out Of Sight. RED is not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. I have read the comic it was based on and the only similarity is the character of RED, the phone calls for his pension check, and the fact the government tries to kill him. Everything else really has nothing to do with the comic. The original story is very lean and straight forward with no real surprises. There are only 2 main characters in the comic. This version throws in everything but the kitchen sink, and I'm sure if they had time they would have thrown that in also. The director of this movie, Robert Schwentke, has absolutely no clue what to do with the material he is given. He seems to be going for an action/comedy tone but achieves neither. The action is substandard straight to dvd stuff and there are no real laughs. I have seen both Flightplan and The Travelers Wife, the director’s previous work, and this guy is getting worse with each movie. The direction is really bad in a few scenes where Red appears in places I had no idea how he even got there. The movie is already too long at 110 minutes and adding anything to clarify would just make this movie unbearable. The movie wants to be fun but is really just dumb in every way possible. The only good thing about RED is John Malkovich’s character, and he seems to be in another better movie as he is the only one who brought his A game. Willis is very flat and seems to sleepwalk through the entire film. At one point I found myself wondering what ever happened to the charisma he used to have. He basically spends the whole movie with one expression on his face and never really appears to have any emotion whatsoever, or any fun in the role. Now this could be because he's trying to portray a cold blooded hitman, but I doubt it. Morgan Freeman is basically a special guest star since he is missing for a huge chunk of the film. Helen Mirren is ok, but anyone could have played her role. The worst role in the movie belongs to Mary-Louise Parker, whose only purpose is to appear amazed at everything that Red does. Her character is one of the most annoying that I’ve seen in any action movie that I can remember. She adds absolutely nothing to the movie and there seems to be no reason for her character except to give Willis a love interest. There is absolutely no chemistry between Willis and Parker. In fact, I kept hoping that Red would shoot her if she said “Whoa” one more time. This is the most I’ve heard that phrase in a movie since Bill and Ted. I also can’t forget Richard Dreyfuss. He shows up, in what is basically a cameo, and adds a whole lot of pork to the movie. He basically hams it up for every single second he is on screen. It’s weird because, like Malkovich, it felt like he walked in form a different movie. The difference is that his performance was not good at all. Karl Urban is neither bad nor good in the movie as Red’s good guy pursuer. He’s just there basically. The movie’s pace is very uneven, and I know it wasn’t completed, but I have no idea exactly what they could do to make this better. Outside of completely cutting the useless Mary-Louise Parker character there really isn’t much they could change. Since her character is involved, or at least standing around doing nothing, for most of the action scenes it would be impossible to do. I saw 2 screenings in the same day when I saw Red. The second was The Expendables, a movie I enjoyed. The crowd reaction could not have been more different for these 2 movies. The crowd I saw Red with was completely silent for much of the movie and there was a lot of rustling as the movie went on. There was complete silence when the movie ended. The Expendables crowd was having a good time laughing and clapping and you could feel the energy. Red is a straight to dvd movie waiting to happen, and there are better straight to dvd movies then this piece of crap (Blood and Bone, Undisputed 3). The other reviewer gave this movie a 8/10 and I’m convinced that the reviewer is on some serious drugs since there is no way on god’s green earth that this movie is an 8/10.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 4:18 a.m. CST

    That looks seriously enjoyable

    by tomimt

    I even laughed couple of times.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 6:46 a.m. CST

    Fuck Michael Cera, give us more Bruce

    by CuervoJones

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 6:57 a.m. CST

    Plastic Man

    by Papa Lazaru

    Plastic man got no brain, Plastic man don't feel no pain, Plastic people look the same, Kick his shin or tread on his face, Pull his nose all over the place, He can't disfigure, or disgrace, Plastic man.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 7 a.m. CST

    Chi, thanks for your thoughts

    by leo54304

    Still jscked for this movie. Right about Parker though, so beautiful but so boring as an actress. Dreyfuss agree with as well, wasted screen time. If they had made more 3 days of condor would have been nice. Opening scene with Malkovitch and Willis was stupid. But enjoyed Willis' scenens in rest of trailer. Freeman looked liked he was a lot of fun. Mirren is like Streeps aunt as far as talent and looks plus she gives off that lady is a tramp vibe--and thats a good thing. Aside from Malkovich I love the cast, looked like they were enjoying themselves and the action while not over-the-top ala expendables is fine for me. Maybe reason expendables crowd wasn't going crazy over trailer is they were an expendables crowd (never too big an explosion, body count can't be high enough and we want our 80s action figure stars). That wasn't a slam on the audience just an observation between a pg 13 (?) action movie and an r rated crowd. PS expendables dialogue was soooo bad that Reds for sure will be an improvement. Not that the bar is too high anyway. Thanks again for your detailed post.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 7:04 a.m. CST

    MIchael Caine over Malkovitch

    by leo54304

    would have been nice but I guess one brit is all they wanted on the cast. Too bad. Caine can still do a flick like this. Ben Kingsley or Patrick Stewart also would have been better choices.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 7:08 a.m. CST

    Great cast. Great trailer. Looking forward to it.

    by Mr Nicholas

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Look up Helen Mirren bikini photo on web

    by leo54304

    Her husband is one lucky bastard.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Is bad enough having to hear that disclaimer

    by The McPoyle Clan

    when they do the screenings. Do the plants have to repeat it in every "review" sent into AICN?<br><br>Crap, might as well include the part about being/knowing someone in the industry.<br><br>And Borgnine rules.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Plastic Man

    by Papa Lazaru

    Plastic man got no brain, Plastic man don't feel no pain, Plastic people look the same, Kick his shin or tread on his face, Pull his nose all over the place, He can't disfigure, or disgrace, Plastic man.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Saw the trailer attached to Expendables this weekend

    by DianaPrince

    ... while not at all familiar with the source material, I have to admit -- this looked decent. Bruce may be creeping up the age ladder, but he still looks like he can pull off some good looking action. But nothing beats the Machete trailer. That was legit panty wetting.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Easy Reader was secretly working for CIA?

    by leo54304

    What next? Mr Hooper was providing LSD to the kids for the agency to see what the effects were? Cookie Monsters trash can was a CIA drop site? And that grassy knoll where the kids ran over the top at the beginning of the show is located in Dallas? The Count was a deep cover agent for the CIA? Ernie and Bert was freelance mercs on the CIA payroll? What next?

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Great cast....

    by IamZardoz

    Crap movie

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 10:41 a.m. CST

    The humble run on sentence

    by JoeD

    It's really hard reading a review that features so many run on sentences because it makes it tough to understand what the author is writing about or where one subject ends and one predicate begins and why there are no periods or commas and also from this review it is impossible to understand what the hell this movie is about or whether the author has actually seen it and hasn't just watched the trailer because even though there are run on sentences you would think there might be some hints as to what takes place in the movie and it is also impossible to imagine this being an eight out of ten because it sounds like the reviewer didn't even like it very much. Humorious indeed sir.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Ernie Borgnine always had a thing...

    by Samurhino

    ...for white cotton panties.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 12:19 p.m. CST

    @JoeD

    by ChiTownsBest

    There is no way this movie is an 8/10. I posted a brief review and it probably has some run-on sentences also,lol I didn't give away the any spoliers but it may give you a better fell of the movie

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 1:52 p.m. CST

    This is why nobody respects online critics

    by mrgray

    ChiTown, that was some weak sauce right there. Plastic Man's wasn't much better, but your "review" is a poorly-structured, barely-literate litany of negativity framed in hyperbole, AKA: every shitty online "movie review" ever.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 1:59 p.m. CST

    @mrgray lmao

    by ChiTownsBest

    It is what it is. That's how I felt after watching that crap. Negative

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 2 p.m. CST

    @mrgray

    by ChiTownsBest

    and I never claimed to be an online critic. Just someone trying to get the real word out about a very shitty movie

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 2:34 p.m. CST

    It's like Expendables, but with even older people

    by RPLocke

    Is Michel Caine in this?

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 3:57 p.m. CST

    @ChiTownsBest - Thanks

    by V'Shael

    That's exactly the sort of review I was looking for. Short on plot details and spoilers, but plenty of stuff to critique. Thanks. Saved me 10 bucks anyway.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Looks like Expendables...

    by Hugh G Rekshun

    ...with good actors. I'm in!

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 6:03 p.m. CST

    I'm tired of people not reading themselves

    by mrgray

    "I want to know who paid this reviewer to write this shitty review." <p> So a review is shitty if you disagree with it? Well, maybe if you'd made cogent arguments instead of vehement statements of fact I'd be more open to your version. The truth is that I wouldn't take you OR Plastic Man at your words because NEITHER of you makes a great argument. Until someone with actual critical acumen weighs in I'll reserve judgment.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 6:15 p.m. CST

    @mrgray

    by ChiTownsBest

    You act like these were written specifically for you. If you don't like them move along. What I wrote helped a couple of people and that's good enough for me. Get the stick out of your tight ass and read someone eles review then

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 6:43 p.m. CST

    I can't wait the trailer sold me

    by andrew coleman

    Don't care what shit brain Tbers say and I'm not reading any reviews on it till I see it. I'm pumped for this.

  • Aug. 16, 2010, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Don't hold out much hope for this

    by NippleEffect

    it has one syllable sentence malkovich in it

  • Aug. 17, 2010, 2:20 a.m. CST

    sadsad

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  • Aug. 17, 2010, 11:25 a.m. CST

    I got to see RED last week as well.

    by Kimota42

    As someone who has read the comics, I put some thoughts up on my blog. http://www.mylatestdistraction.com/?p=4789

  • Aug. 24, 2010, 10:05 a.m. CST

    math

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  • Sept. 16, 2010, 12:51 p.m. CST

    It's gonna tank.

    by venvariants

    The trailer is like watching all the cast members kiss their own reflections while jerking each other off. Ghastly.