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Plastic Man sends in a review of RED from an advanced screening!
Hey folks, Harry here and this is a film that I'm hoping kicks ass - I mean, look at this trailer... Check out that shot of Bruce calmly stepping out of that twisting car to fire... so cool. Helen Mirren blowing shit away. Cool. Hitting Richard Dreyfuss in the face, precious! Oh wait - was that Ernest Borgnine? There's a mutherfucking member of THE WILD BUNCH in this flick? Sign me up. And the review from an early test screening marks it an 8 out of 10, which is a pretty high mark. Now the director was the same guy behind THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE, which I liked his direction of - even if the story didn't quite work for me. But here - he's got a film based upon Warren Ellis' brainpan and that's something to look forward to, right? Right. Here's the trailer and the review - watch out for spoilers!
hello Mr Knowles was not sure who to send this to but i know you guys sometimes post reviews of movies from folks who have seen advance screenings and what not so i thought id send you my quick thoughts on the new Bruce Willis film RED which i was lucky enough to see today and it does not even come out for a full 2 month :) So disclaimer the version they showed us at the screening was said to be a work in progress copy meaning that some of the effects shots were not completed as in a few green screen shots and some cgi. The film is based on the graphic novel RED from DC comics which i have yet to read so i can not really make a fair comparison of if it is faithful to the original source or not. But the film follows Bruce Willis character Frank Moses who is a retired black ops CIA agent who has a crush on Sarah (played by Mary Louis Parker from weeds) who he has only ever talked to over the phone, but when an assassin is assigned to take out Frank his and Sarahs worlds collide as they try to figure out who is trying to have frank killed and why. Thats as much of the plot that id like to discuss because its hard to discuss the rest of the general plot without telling you the whole thing but its a fairly standard action comedy type of movie. Franks team though is composed of Joe, Victoria, and Marvin (played by Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirran, and John Malkovich respectively) who are all also retired operatives who help Frank along the way. I just have to say John Malkovich completely steals the movies as Marvin a paranoid former agent who is convinced everyone is trying to kill him just a great performance from him. There are also good performances from Richard Dreyfuss as a slimy businessman and Brian Cox as a former Russian operative with a thing for Helen Mirrans character, but i have to give it up to Ernest Borgnine playing the Record Keeper even at 93 the guy has still got it. Also Karl Urban plays Cooper who is essentially the guy assigned to kill Frank and to be completely honest i didnt even realize it was Urban til i got home and looked up who played the character just a complete 180 from his portal of Bones in Star Trek. Overall it is a fun flick and alot more humorious then i expected with some cool fight scenes and gunplay, however the only issue i really did have with the film was that it had a weird pacing issue. At only 110 minute runtime (without credits) it seems and feels like a much longer movie so im not sure if they are going to cut more of it but the 1st half of the movie definitely suffers from this issue. Overall i think Summit has a decent non-twilight related hit on there hands but if its not re edited it could lose it re-playability . Out of 10 id give it a 8 If you use this call me Plastic Man (when you see the movie you will understand the name)
Readers Talkback
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Aug. 15, 2010, 6:47 p.m. CST
What no Inception review Plastic Man?
by Harry_Knowles_Fell_Asleep_During_Inception
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But the sentences in that review are kind of long. I don't mean to be a total grammar snob (okay, yes I do), but would a little punctuation kill anyone? Really?
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It's nice to see the site going back to the good old days of poorly written submitted reviews instead of the whole staff shilling the same movies over and over. Slowly but surely.
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RED looks sick
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Having seen the trailers, I must say this looks nothing like the book. The book is dark violent. This looks like some crappy PG-13 comedy. The point of the book was that the new head of the CIA is shown this guys file. And even though he is retired, he has done so many things that are truly horrible, that his death is ordered. This movie looks more like a bunch of geezers out having a good ole time, instead of the dangerous agent that the book represents.
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but I can report back that its fault was that it should have dreamed a little larger. <p> And I ducked out for a piss during that scene when Bruce Willis, Ernest Borgnine, James Dean, River Phoenix, Marlon Brando and Marilyn Monroe started reading all that dialogue written by Kubrick.
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It does not look like the book at all. The book was not a buddy movie type of book. It was one guy. Why even name it after the comic when it strays so far from the source? Just call it the old dudes or something.
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...that Betty White is getting.
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when actors get on set with Helen Mirren, they have to try really hard to not think about Caligula.
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This gives us no information and seems to be written by a 10 year old. Ever heard of a run-on sentence? Might want to look it up.
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I just don't believe the mix of woeful grammar/spelling and the accuracy of the cast/crew details. File under plant, I'm afraid.
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...in these old guys kick ass movies. thats some creative marketing and they should all be fired. movie looks fucking corny. girl time? give me a fuckin break.
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More like a 6 an a half. Looks okay, but a bit fluffy and forgetable, like most Willis flicks these days
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Jeez, last thing I saw him in was as a boy scout leader in an episode of the Simpsons, from the early years. But, man, what a resume: Dirty Dozen, Wild Bunch, Posiedon Adventure, Escape from New York. An unnatractive, overweight, balding actor of limited talent - and he still steals every scene he's in. Yay Ernest Borgnine!
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This "Red" has nothing to do with the comic. So much was changed, it's no longer a Warren Ellis property in essence.
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I'm not even going to call plant on this one. Did he get most of that from Wikipedia?
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Just from the trailer alone.
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DAMN IT, I WANT TO KNOW HOW GOOD OR BAD IT IS?!?! ARRRGGG!
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DAMN IT!! THE ENTER KEY SUCKS ASS!!!
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Shit, it's gonna go the way of Scott Pilgrim.
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Comic book no one has ever heard of + geezers in need of a paycheck = box office gold. You can count on it.
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plastic man=plant=fake plastic trees
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Great, short, brutal comic. Always wondered how they could stretch that great little story into a film.<br><br>Apparently, the answer is to take someone elses script and use FIND>REPLACE to make sure some names match those of the comic.<BR>Oh well, at least Warren Ellis gets some bank out of this. Even if it makes no sense whatsoever.
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After the dregs that this year has given us at the movies I'm really looking forward to anything that even looks remotely interesting. <P> P.S. That shot of Bruce stepping out of the car in the trailer sold me on seeing this movie.
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What's not to like? It can set fire to the comic and throw it in the toilet, for all I care. That'd continue to stand alone, anyway. It looks like a killer cast (more Borgnine in all things, please) and just watch them interact already means it'll be better than Oceans 11/12/13.
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Put it in a blender and, voila!
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That gonna go the way of the comic book movie and Scott Pilgrim, too? It still dropping like a rock? James Cameron gonna be laughing his ass off, too?
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and how bad season Six was despite getting 13 emmy noms.
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While I didn't mind the last season of Lost.. Let's not throw around the "Emmy" card. I mean, fuck, Two and a Half Men gets nominated for shit all the time, doesn't it? =/
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Aug. 15, 2010, 10:27 p.m. CST
hopefully someday Red will review Plastic Man
by BEYONDTHUNDERDOME2GIRLS1CUPBILLCOSBY
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Aug. 15, 2010, 10:28 p.m. CST
also what's with Bruce Willis's sudden laziness in the charactor
by BEYONDTHUNDERDOME2GIRLS1CUPBILLCOSBY
In every movie he's a bald, facial hairless white man in a black leather jacket.
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Its one of the best movies of the year and this site has totally ignored it. <P> I guess its come down to sponsored editorial pieces only? <P> Oh and who gives a fuck about this desperate piece of shit? Nobody.
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is one strike, right off the bat. i'd see it for JOHN MALKOVICH alone - RIPLEY'S GAME. end of line
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There's more quality in a bad episode of Lost than an episode of Two and a Half Men.
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Aug. 15, 2010, 10:44 p.m. CST
The only good thing about this movie is that it has...
by moonlightdrive
Ernest Borgnine in it. And Harry, Bruce getting out of a twisting car looks crap and fake (but the idea is cool).
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Morgan Freeman is a plus for me to see the movie. And Brian Cox (always good) is Helens ex-flame who reconnect with each other in the middle of a shoot out. For me, I'll just fantasize Helen is channeling Emma Peel at her age which for damn sure is going to put my butt in a theater seat.
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This is gonna be better than a BJ from Diana Rigg in her prime!!
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Dont'cha just love it when british women can talk trash and make it sound high class. If you wanna hear just how sexy the word "fuck" sounds, listen to Britains Lilly Allen. Such a dirty little songbird.
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you know it has cats and dogs talking and the revenge of kitty galore so it must be a masterpiece compared to Inception right?
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Aug. 15, 2010, 11:07 p.m. CST
Amusing, but I'd rather see this cast in a good movie...
by BurnHollywood
The trailer reeked of that Hollywood action-dramedy horseshit of putting a large caliber weapon in someone's hands and hoping something hilarious or !!!AWESOME!!1! happens.<p> You can't keep a hack screenwriter away from firearms, even though they don't have the faintest idea how the fucking things work or when and where to use them.
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is fucking awesome
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That man is a true living legend
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There have been preview's screenings of this for several weeks now. Generally the word of mouth review's have been good for RED. Yes there are changes, Warren Ellis said the book would only fill about 45 minutes of screen time. Plus who doesn't want to see Helen Mirren packing large weapons? Double plus good is Mister Ernest Bourgnine....... Hmmmm....there's a Borg named seven of nine.....hmmm....Borg.....nine.....hmmmm
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What movie did this guy see? It wasn't the same one I saw. This movie is complete and total garbage. I want to know who paid this reviewer to write this shitty review. This movie was bad and the crowd I saw it with pretty much agreed.
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Didn't read review, don't care. For once they have me on cast and trailer, and I will judge for myself.
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So there...as in, "I am SO there..."
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Can you post a review in the talkbacks, without just saying it was garbage? <p>
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Here's another chance to see Bruce Willis in the same role.
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Too busy doing crap work with Alec Baldwin?
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Plant! Scam
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naked in many many movies. Check Mr Skin for details.
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I sent this to AICN but I'll post it here. It's just my opinion and nothing else.... but this movie stinks! Hi Harry. I've never submitted a review before but after reading the horrible review of RED ,by Plasticman, posted on AICN I felt compelled to write one. We were not informed at the screening that the film was not finished, but it was pretty obvious since the cgi appeared unfinished and the music track was a temp score. I noticed music from the Steven Soderbergh movie Out Of Sight. RED is not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. I have read the comic it was based on and the only similarity is the character of RED, the phone calls for his pension check, and the fact the government tries to kill him. Everything else really has nothing to do with the comic. The original story is very lean and straight forward with no real surprises. There are only 2 main characters in the comic. This version throws in everything but the kitchen sink, and I'm sure if they had time they would have thrown that in also. The director of this movie, Robert Schwentke, has absolutely no clue what to do with the material he is given. He seems to be going for an action/comedy tone but achieves neither. The action is substandard straight to dvd stuff and there are no real laughs. I have seen both Flightplan and The Travelers Wife, the director’s previous work, and this guy is getting worse with each movie. The direction is really bad in a few scenes where Red appears in places I had no idea how he even got there. The movie is already too long at 110 minutes and adding anything to clarify would just make this movie unbearable. The movie wants to be fun but is really just dumb in every way possible. The only good thing about RED is John Malkovich’s character, and he seems to be in another better movie as he is the only one who brought his A game. Willis is very flat and seems to sleepwalk through the entire film. At one point I found myself wondering what ever happened to the charisma he used to have. He basically spends the whole movie with one expression on his face and never really appears to have any emotion whatsoever, or any fun in the role. Now this could be because he's trying to portray a cold blooded hitman, but I doubt it. Morgan Freeman is basically a special guest star since he is missing for a huge chunk of the film. Helen Mirren is ok, but anyone could have played her role. The worst role in the movie belongs to Mary-Louise Parker, whose only purpose is to appear amazed at everything that Red does. Her character is one of the most annoying that I’ve seen in any action movie that I can remember. She adds absolutely nothing to the movie and there seems to be no reason for her character except to give Willis a love interest. There is absolutely no chemistry between Willis and Parker. In fact, I kept hoping that Red would shoot her if she said “Whoa” one more time. This is the most I’ve heard that phrase in a movie since Bill and Ted. I also can’t forget Richard Dreyfuss. He shows up, in what is basically a cameo, and adds a whole lot of pork to the movie. He basically hams it up for every single second he is on screen. It’s weird because, like Malkovich, it felt like he walked in form a different movie. The difference is that his performance was not good at all. Karl Urban is neither bad nor good in the movie as Red’s good guy pursuer. He’s just there basically. The movie’s pace is very uneven, and I know it wasn’t completed, but I have no idea exactly what they could do to make this better. Outside of completely cutting the useless Mary-Louise Parker character there really isn’t much they could change. Since her character is involved, or at least standing around doing nothing, for most of the action scenes it would be impossible to do. I saw 2 screenings in the same day when I saw Red. The second was The Expendables, a movie I enjoyed. The crowd reaction could not have been more different for these 2 movies. The crowd I saw Red with was completely silent for much of the movie and there was a lot of rustling as the movie went on. There was complete silence when the movie ended. The Expendables crowd was having a good time laughing and clapping and you could feel the energy. Red is a straight to dvd movie waiting to happen, and there are better straight to dvd movies then this piece of crap (Blood and Bone, Undisputed 3). The other reviewer gave this movie a 8/10 and I’m convinced that the reviewer is on some serious drugs since there is no way on god’s green earth that this movie is an 8/10.
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I even laughed couple of times.
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Plastic man got no brain, Plastic man don't feel no pain, Plastic people look the same, Kick his shin or tread on his face, Pull his nose all over the place, He can't disfigure, or disgrace, Plastic man.
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Still jscked for this movie. Right about Parker though, so beautiful but so boring as an actress. Dreyfuss agree with as well, wasted screen time. If they had made more 3 days of condor would have been nice. Opening scene with Malkovitch and Willis was stupid. But enjoyed Willis' scenens in rest of trailer. Freeman looked liked he was a lot of fun. Mirren is like Streeps aunt as far as talent and looks plus she gives off that lady is a tramp vibe--and thats a good thing. Aside from Malkovich I love the cast, looked like they were enjoying themselves and the action while not over-the-top ala expendables is fine for me. Maybe reason expendables crowd wasn't going crazy over trailer is they were an expendables crowd (never too big an explosion, body count can't be high enough and we want our 80s action figure stars). That wasn't a slam on the audience just an observation between a pg 13 (?) action movie and an r rated crowd. PS expendables dialogue was soooo bad that Reds for sure will be an improvement. Not that the bar is too high anyway. Thanks again for your detailed post.
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would have been nice but I guess one brit is all they wanted on the cast. Too bad. Caine can still do a flick like this. Ben Kingsley or Patrick Stewart also would have been better choices.
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Her husband is one lucky bastard.
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when they do the screenings. Do the plants have to repeat it in every "review" sent into AICN?<br><br>Crap, might as well include the part about being/knowing someone in the industry.<br><br>And Borgnine rules.
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Plastic man got no brain, Plastic man don't feel no pain, Plastic people look the same, Kick his shin or tread on his face, Pull his nose all over the place, He can't disfigure, or disgrace, Plastic man.
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... while not at all familiar with the source material, I have to admit -- this looked decent. Bruce may be creeping up the age ladder, but he still looks like he can pull off some good looking action. But nothing beats the Machete trailer. That was legit panty wetting.
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What next? Mr Hooper was providing LSD to the kids for the agency to see what the effects were? Cookie Monsters trash can was a CIA drop site? And that grassy knoll where the kids ran over the top at the beginning of the show is located in Dallas? The Count was a deep cover agent for the CIA? Ernie and Bert was freelance mercs on the CIA payroll? What next?
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Crap movie
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It's really hard reading a review that features so many run on sentences because it makes it tough to understand what the author is writing about or where one subject ends and one predicate begins and why there are no periods or commas and also from this review it is impossible to understand what the hell this movie is about or whether the author has actually seen it and hasn't just watched the trailer because even though there are run on sentences you would think there might be some hints as to what takes place in the movie and it is also impossible to imagine this being an eight out of ten because it sounds like the reviewer didn't even like it very much. Humorious indeed sir.
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...for white cotton panties.
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There is no way this movie is an 8/10. I posted a brief review and it probably has some run-on sentences also,lol I didn't give away the any spoliers but it may give you a better fell of the movie
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ChiTown, that was some weak sauce right there. Plastic Man's wasn't much better, but your "review" is a poorly-structured, barely-literate litany of negativity framed in hyperbole, AKA: every shitty online "movie review" ever.
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It is what it is. That's how I felt after watching that crap. Negative
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and I never claimed to be an online critic. Just someone trying to get the real word out about a very shitty movie
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Is Michel Caine in this?
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That's exactly the sort of review I was looking for. Short on plot details and spoilers, but plenty of stuff to critique. Thanks. Saved me 10 bucks anyway.
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...with good actors. I'm in!
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"I want to know who paid this reviewer to write this shitty review." <p> So a review is shitty if you disagree with it? Well, maybe if you'd made cogent arguments instead of vehement statements of fact I'd be more open to your version. The truth is that I wouldn't take you OR Plastic Man at your words because NEITHER of you makes a great argument. Until someone with actual critical acumen weighs in I'll reserve judgment.
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You act like these were written specifically for you. If you don't like them move along. What I wrote helped a couple of people and that's good enough for me. Get the stick out of your tight ass and read someone eles review then
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Don't care what shit brain Tbers say and I'm not reading any reviews on it till I see it. I'm pumped for this.
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it has one syllable sentence malkovich in it
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As someone who has read the comics, I put some thoughts up on my blog. http://www.mylatestdistraction.com/?p=4789
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The trailer is like watching all the cast members kiss their own reflections while jerking each other off. Ghastly.
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