Closing out my series of SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD articles, here's the transcript of the lively twenty minutes I spent with the great Kieran Culkin, who steals huge chunks of the film as Scott's droll roommate, Wallace Wells. For those of you who just can't countenance another in-depth back-and-forth on the themes and technical genius of Wright's comic book movie, this interview is for you. After a few obligatory SCOTT PILGRIM questions, we veer off into a discussion of theater, which leads to a very amusing anecdote about Culkin's run in the West End production of Kenneth Lonergan's THIS IS OUR YOUTH. Culkin's a fascinating guy: after having an acting career forced on him, he took some time off to figure out if performing was really what he wanted to do for a living. I'm glad he stuck with it. Lately, he's been turning up in ensemble movies like LYMELIFE and PAPER MAN, but I've a feeling his deadpan turn as Wallace is going to put him back in the running for leading man roles; there's an engaging off-handedness to his work here that, at times, reminds me of Bill Murray. All interview subjects should be this candid. And fewer should taunt me with the fact that they've seen Kenneth Lonergan's long-delayed MARGARET.

Mr. Beaks: Wallace was one of those characters that, if cast correctly, was going to steal pretty much every scene he's in. So that worked out well...

Kieran Culkin: It was originally, accidentally, sent to me to read for Young Neil. That was apparently never the intention; it was always supposed to be Wallace. But as I was reading, I got to page thirteen, fifteen, sixteen... somewhere in there, and I was like, "I want to play Wallace! I like this guy" It was the first Wallace scene. I didn't even know who Scott was going to be, but my eyes didn't go to Scott; they immediately went to Wallace. And the script being so dense, being all of these books thrown into one, it took me hours to read. It's a visual movie, so it was a visual script. And you're like, "Explodes into coins? What?" But then I went to audition just for Edgar, and then waited about two months, maybe more, and I sort of thought it was gone. But then he wanted to see me again in L.A. to audition with Michael. After that, it was another two or three months. And then it was like, "Hey, we're going to start shooting next month. Are you in?" And I was like, "Oh! I guess so? Let me read it again." As a fan of the comics, I've somehow been able to separate my love of the comics versus doing this movie and my experience of being in the movie - which is nice for me, because I can still appreciate the comics. Wallace was always a favorite of mine in the comics, too. And having to do it in the movie, it was a tremendous amount of pressure to not blow it.

Beaks: But in the comics, you have these characters who can flash from apathy to rage from one panel to the next. That's very hard to do as an actor. I mean, you can definitely do it, but to create a character who's capable of that would seem to be a real challenge psychologically. Did you have to divorce yourself completely from the comics, or were you still able to draw on them?

Culkin: I was able to draw on stuff from the comics, but, to me, it was just real life. I tried to come at it like I would any other role. I didn't want to play it like a comic book character; that's not the way Wallace is in the books. He's just a guy. People have compared the film to a musical; just as people break into song, these guys break into fights - and when the fight's over, you act normal. I understood what the story was, so I just treated it like it was reality. I didn't have to get into a comic book place. But it's great to see some people playing comic characters; I love seeing Evans playing this (Affects his Eastwood delivery) Lucas Lee thing.

Beaks: Yeah, those guys get to do the broad stuff. But deadpanning is fun. You get to be a quiet comedy assassin.

Culkin: I just approached it like any other role, just sort of serious and make him as real as possible. I think that fit the character in this world.

Beaks: How's Edgar as a director?

Culkin: He's amazing, actually. He's an amazing talent. If you've asked anyone this before, they're probably going to say the same thing. He's very specific. He has a vision that is very clear. He had the whole movie mapped out in his head probably before he even cast it. Normally, on other movies, what's really frustrating for me would be walking and hitting my mark and having to do things a specific way. I hate it when I lean, and they'll cut the take to tell me I can't lean because I'm out of frame. It's like, "Well, move your fucking camera! Let's figure this out so we can work together!" I get really frustrated when people get too technical. Whereas with Edgar, it was terribly technical because he wanted to get a specific image, and he could show you. I can't speak for everybody else, but I think everyone was as eager as I was to help please him and help him get his vision. And not just the actors; I think everybody in every department wanted to give him whatever it is they could to make sure he got this vision that we all signed for, that we all really wanted to achieve. In that way, it was really amazing. Obviously, he's extraordinarily talented.

Beaks: You talk about being frustrated with the technical side of filmmaking. You've done a lot of theater over the years. I know you did THIS IS OUR YOUTH, which is one of my favorite plays.

Culkin: Yeah! I'm trying to do that again, actually. I really want to.

Beaks: Where?

Culkin: Hopefully in New York. Hopefully on Broadway. I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm probably jinxing myself. But I would love to do that show again. On SCOTT PILGRIM, during the shoot, I would read it periodically. Then I started passing it off to other people. "Have you read this play? Here. Read this play." I pretty much have every character memorized at this point. I did it once as Warren, but I've read it enough that I have Dennis down. I love Kenny Longergan's plays in general. I read LOBBY HERO a few months ago, and then he called me and got me thinking I should read it again, so I've read it twice in the last week - just to re-read it. He's a brilliant man.

Beaks: He is. Years ago, I read MARGARET.

Culkin: You did? You read MARGARET.

Beaks: I did. I read the first draft that went out.

Culkin: How did you get that?

Beaks: I had a friend of mine hunt it down at an agency. I actually wrote it up for the site because I knew they were struggling to get it made. I was trying to will the project into production - and probably set them back, actually. But it was all out of love.

Culkin: Which draft?

Beaks: It was the 184-page draft. I just talked to Mark Ruffalo last month, and he asked the page count because he knew both drafts pretty well.

Culkin: There was one that was, like, 270-something pages. He didn't put that out, but I have that at home. He gave that to me.

Beaks: Wow.

Culkin: Yeah. My section went from eight pages to thirty-five pages in that one.

Beaks: It's one of the densest, most nuanced screenplays I've ever read. It spoke to so much of my experience living in New York City up to, and a little bit through, 9/11. But it also worked as this brutally honest coming-of-age story. I've never read anything like it.

Culkin: And in this unapologetic way. He doesn't feel like he has to pull any tricks or manipulate the audience in any way. I got to see a cut of it, which was three hours long, and there were scenes where it's just lawyers talking about legal stuff. And [Lonergan] said, "Well, I'm just giving the information because this is what this girl has to go through." People would say things like, "Yeah, but I don't understand it. I'm trying to follow it, but..." And he'd say, "Imagine this is an eighteen year-old-girl trying to figure out what to do with this situation, and having to talk to these lawyers." He's letting you have that experience. He's not trying to give you a movie experience; he's trying to make you feel her experience.

Beaks: Ruffalo called it a young woman's CATCHER IN THE RYE.

Culkin: That's interesting. So you haven't seen it yet?

Beaks: Come on...

Culkin: (Laughs) It's so funny. It's only this special group of people that have been able to see it.

Beaks: I don't belong in that special group. Ruffalo said Lonergan's still got the three-hour cut on a hard drive somewhere. I still think that's the one Fox Searchlight should release.

Culkin: I held it in my hand at one point.

Beaks: Keep it up. Really. I've been obsessed with that movie for so many years.

Culkin: It's great.

Beaks: Getting back to your persistent re-reading of plays, have you ever considered writing one?

Culkin: I don't really have that... (Pause) Well, it's in there. But I'm not so arrogant to think that just because I have ideas I'll be able to put them on paper. I've seen a lot of people try. They have these ideas that aren't fully formed, and the second they start putting them down they start following formulas; they start going for things to impress people. You've got to be bold. That's another reason I love Kenny's writing: he's so talented - and I think he knows he's talented - that he's going to write whatever the hell he wants. He's on a different level.

Beaks: You always seem incredibly committed to the roles you take on. Do you ever have trouble separating?

Culkin: I've never had a tough time separating, but I definitely, to some degree, come from myself. Most people do whether they know it or not. Actually, I can't say that about other actors. Everyone has different processes, and some people blow me away with something that would never work for me - like that working from the outside in thing. It's always some version or piece of yourself that you're able to find. Even in reading THIS IS YOUR YOUTH. I played Warren. I don't really know how well I did that, but I remember thinking at the time "This is how I have to play him. This is the Warren that is inside me that I want to play." And I did it. And then I had the director tell me right before we went on stage for our first preview that I misinterpreted the character - which was interesting. (Beaks laughs) That was fun. What a dick. That guy sucked. (Laughs) He was probably right, though, because I've talked to Kenny about it since, and when I hear him talking about Warren, I start going, "Oh, I went from an entirely different place." And when I read it now, I go, "That's not really me." And then when I read it in my head as Dennis now, I think, "I'm not Dennis at all in real life, but I can find that in me." I've been reading it out loud with friends, and I go, "I can totally understand this guy from a place in me even though that's not who I am."

Beaks: It's nice to get that far down the road with a character and then learn you've completely misinterpreted him. I'd be like, "Fair enough, but it would've been nice to know that earlier, asshole!"

Culkin: This is exactly what happened. It's our last rehearsal before our first preview, and I'm sitting up on this sink. We were the third cast coming in, so I could sense that he was trying to get us to do the same blocking the previous cast did because he liked it that way - instead of letting us come to our own blocking or do our own thing. And it would piss me off. And I had this idea of sitting up on this sink and talking to [Dennis] for a little while for this section. And [the director] hadn't said anything for a while. So we're doing our final rehearsal, I get up on the sink, and I hear from the audience, "Get off the fucking sink, Kieran!" And I just slowly turned and went, "What did you say?" And he said, "Get off the fucking sink! I've been telling you for weeks and weeks to get off the fucking sink! Stop leaning against the wall, stop leaning on things, stop sitting down! That is not Warren! Warren is front foot! Front foot! Not back foot! Front foot!" (Laughs) I just let him go for a little bit, and then I leaned down and said, "So are you telling me I entirely misinterpreted the character?" And he said, "Yes! That is exactly what I am telling you!" And I'm like, "We're going on stage in an hour! Really? Now?" And he goes, "Let's talk in the dressing room!" You know what he was trying to do? He's such a fuckwad. He was trying to... (Off my laughter) I don't mind talking shit about this guy. He had no talent. He would show up at rehearsal, eat his soup, stare at the ceiling, and close his eyes as if he was listening but he was actually aking a fucking nap. That guy sucked.

Beaks: Did he direct the original production? Wait, who were your costars again?

Culkin: Alison Lohman and Colin Hanks. And this guy directed the first cast. I don't know if he worked with the second cast, but he worked with us. And from what I could tell, the reason he came back was because everyone had a wonderful experience with him the first time. I just think he didn't give a flying fuck. I think he came in and collected a paycheck.

Beaks: So did you get up on the sink?

Culkin: (Laughs) I tried to listen to him. I think I tried... I can't remember. I either made a decision that I was going to ignore him for performance one and do whatever he asked after. Because we'd already rehearsed the play. We'd done it. And now he wanted me to change everything without rehearsing it and do it in front of an audience - and I think I might've actually done that. Eventually, I never sat on the sink, and, eventually, I did stop leaning against the wall - except for times I felt it was appropriate. I wasn't going to compromise that just because he was an assclown. But here's the reason he had this explosion. It was so he could come into the dressing room and have a heart-to-heart where we would start yelling at each other - and this is all in his mind how it was going to go before he came in there. We were going to have a yelling session, a heart-to-heart, then calm down, realize we like each other, and hug. He was trying to manipulate the situation. Except I walked in there pissed. He starts yelling at me, and I start yelling at him. Then he starts to calm down, but I'm still pissed; I have no closure on this whatsoever. But he's like, "You're such a talent." And I'm like, "Fuck. You can't tell me things like that and then tell me I'm a talent." So he tries to hug me, and I'm like, "No. No hugs." And as I walk out of the room, he goes, "You're going to do great," as if we had this moment. And I'm like, "I see what you're doing here. You're trying to break me. Way to go, man! Way to use the formula to break your actor! You're so intense!"

Beaks: All those wonderful games directors play.

Culkin: It's so funny when you can see him trying to work me. If you're going to work me, be good at it! Don't let me see what you're doing.

Beaks: Are you being more selective with your film work nowadays?

Culkin: I've been selective with my film work since I was eighteen probably. I did [IGBY GOES DOWN], and then I sort of got tunnel vision about the next job. That's when I read THIS IS OUR YOUTH, which was the next thing I did. After that, I took time off to figure out if [acting] is what I wanted to do at all, because I never made that decision for myself. I was a six-year-old on set and it was like, "Say your line, and I'll give you some candy." Since then, I've decided to come back into it and be very selective. I want to do things that I'm proud of, and that would be fun to do. Doing plays is great, but to a certain extent it's spoiled me to that blocking thing that I was talking about. I can be free. And even if the director is telling me to do one thing, once he leaves it's up to the actors to keep it going. So then when you jump on a set like this, and you get one day or three hours to get this scene, and we have to nail it and do it exactly on these marks the way the storyboard was put out, it's radically different. I'm trying to get to a place of not being too spoiled and being a little bitch about it. It can be tough sometimes. But if you can have faith in somebody like Edgar... and I'm not just kissing ass. As talented as he is, if you can have faith in that, it feels great. Just let him do whatever it is he needs to do, and we'll try to please you, sir.

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD is in theaters now. Go. Faithfully submitted, Mr. Beaks