Hey, everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
I'll admit, I'm slightly torn on this film. First off, I do not believe that casting trumps writing or acting or plot. But if it did, THE EXPENDABLES would be the greatest movie of all time. I also don't believe that the maximum number of explosions and/or the most bloodshed makes for the best movies. Again, if that were the case, THE EXPENDABLES would rule the day. But granting that there may have been a time in my life when cool-as-shit casts and non-stop action may have been my only criteria in loving a film, THE EXPENDABLES brought out a lot of feelings and emotions in me that I simply didn't expect. Of course, these were feelings and emotions I probably last felt when EXPENDABLES stars Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren first met in the ring in ROCKY IV, but I'll take it where I can get it.
If you asked me to recount the story of THE EXPENDABLES, I couldn't with any degree of accuracy because it doesn't matter, and it's beyond forgettable once the film is done. If anything, I kind of hope Stallone and his team are planning a sequel because I think that film would be an even better effort and a chance for us to actually learn enough about these guys to give a shit what happens to them. And this may be considered a spoiler, but I had a slight problem with the body count among Stallone's teammates. That's all I'm saying, but let me just add that the title of the film is a little misleading.
The one thing that is not misleading are the ads for this movie. They promise death and destruction, and this movie delivers them with a cherry on top. Holy shit! I'll give Stallone credit, his love of excessively brutal death has not wavered as he's gotten older. If anything, he loves it more. When a guy basically unloads a full pistol clip into the chest of another guy standing about six inches away from him, that's quite a mess. And I have to applaud the sound team for blowing my ears out with gunshots and explosions. My ears are still ringing from a mega-gun that the great Terry Crews wields for much of film's 30-minute climax. While we're on the subject, let's talk about that 30 minutes. I was on the fence on THE EXPENDABLES until that ending sequence, which is basically just never-ending chaos and death. I was in a place just north of heaven for that bit of the movie, and it essentially propelled this review into the positive column.
And what about that cast? There's no getting around that Stallone has pulled together a great crop of guys, including current action king Jason Statham, martial arts master Jet Li (who spends a lot of time using guns and grenades, even though he's supposed to be the hand-to-hand combat guy), ultimate fighter Randy Couture, and the aforementioned Crews and Lundgren. Also popping in for a spell are Mickey Rourke, as I believe a former member of the team who still offers up his tattoo parlor as a meeting spot for the team; wrestling superstar Steve Austin as a bodyguard for the villainous Eric Roberts; David Zayas as a South American puppet dictator under Roberts' thumb; and Mexican actress Giselle Itié, as the dictator's beautiful and rebellious daughter. And then there's the stunt casting of Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger in a totally disposable scene that still brings a couple knowing laughs to the proceedings. Amusing but completely unnecessary.
My biggest problems with THE EXPENDABLES is that I wasn't impressed with the writing, which is actually kind of surprising, since I'm a fan of Stallone the writer. I thought he did a great job with RAMBO and ROCKY BALBOA. The banter and one-liners fall flat, and most of the characters are written as rice-paper-thin cliches. Believe it or not, a bunch of guys trying to out-badass each other isn't that interesting. What is more interesting is three-dimensional human beings trying to out-badass each other.
I wasn't looking for elaborate backstories for each and every character, but give us something. A weak subplot involving Statham's character and a woman (Charisma Carpenter) he sees when he isn't on mission is a step in the right direction, but even that is reduced to two guys squaring off. THE EXPENDABLES is never boring; it's just not always as interesting as it could have been. Still, I admired Stallone's take-no-prisoners approach to the action, especially in the final act, and for that and little else, I'm recommending it. The movie feels familiar, but it's a comforting kind of familiar.
-- Capone
capone@aintitcool.com
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