Comics

Kiwi Zombies + Choose Your Own Adventure + Awesome Pizza = Must Watch

Published at: Aug. 6, 2010, 3:47 p.m. CST by quint

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. I'm going to catch some shit for posting this as it's not strictly movie news, but it most certainly is "cool." We all love New Zealand zombies... If you haven't seen Peter Jackson's Braindead (aka Dead Alive stateside) then you have a giant, gaping hole in your life. There's something about the laid back attitude of the Kiwis and their sense of humor that seems to mesh really well with zombie comedy. Not only did Jackson's movie kick ass for the lord we now have what on the surface is just some advertisement for a local New Zealand pizza chain called Hell Pizza (I was a regular customer during my time in Wellington and can vouch for it. It's fucking good), but it's so much more. For one, there's cursing, gore and a buxom blonde jiggling her way through the zombie horde. But there's also an awesome string of choices you can make as the heroic pizza guy tries to deliver some delicious pizza to a damsel in distress. I had to share this and I kind of want to see these two leads co-star in a feature film. "I had a bat once, but some dick threw it out the window." So enjoy this crazy zombie story and don't worry... you get a second chance if you make the wrong choice and kill our awesome comedy duo!

Thanks for Kraken and Elwood for bringing this to my attention. If you think this is a stupid thing to post, it's all their fault... If, however, you love it as much as I did then it was all me! I should go into politics! -Quint quint@aintitcool.com Follow Me On Twitter



Readers Talkback

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  • Aug. 6, 2010, 3:44 p.m. CST

    I ATE PIZZA TONIGHT

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    It was delicious. But there were no zombies.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Thinking about getting...

    by ValMcKee

    a pizza on the way home -- could this be a sign?

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 3:51 p.m. CST

    I had to kill Quint...

    by DickJones

    ...because now I'm hungry for pizza,but broke. :(

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 3:52 p.m. CST

    LOVE THIS

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Why can't they have this place here????

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Hey! This is actually pretty good!

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    Now this IS cool. The chair or the bowling ball? The chair or the bowling ball? FUCK. I'm running out of time to decide!!!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 3:55 p.m. CST

    i have a big hole in my life then

    by yourSTEPDADDY

    Cuz I never seen that movie...do I lose my geek badge or my pretentious geek badge since I havent?

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:03 p.m. CST

    I really miss HELL Pizza

    by Kraken

    I can vouch for their GREED pizza. Good lord, it's amazing food love making in your mouth. If you ever find yourself in NZ, you must try it. Now, do I go with the scooter jump, or Indiana Jones?!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:09 p.m. CST

    YES! I MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH!

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    I AM THE ZOMBIE / PIZZA DELIVERY MASTER!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Dang, that girl IS pretty buxom!

    by D.Vader

    And now I'm hungry.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:10 p.m. CST

    And I can CHOOSE the adventure?

    by D.Vader

    Holy hell that's cool!!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:11 p.m. CST

    I wonder if they could franchise to the states.

    by Mike_D

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Now I want a pizza.

    by Mike_D

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Harry's INCEPTION review

    by Fixthe Fernback

    <P> <P> <P>?

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:19 p.m. CST

    make it so

    by treatment

    bring this type of interactive full length feature film to the actual movie theater. hook up some buttons to the chairs, everybody votes and the higher % wins. it'd be kinda sorta rocky horror like.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:21 p.m. CST

    This is better than Jar Jar Abrams' last movie

    by AsimovIsFuckingDead

    It was not a very cerebal type of experience but it was more cerebal than JJ Abrams' Stupid Trek. Ass fuck! Fuck ass! Ass fuck! Zombie assfuckery!<p>Testify!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:25 p.m. CST

    You gotto love buxom gals

    by BP_drills_america_a_new_asshole

    Buxom gals = proof God exists. And God is male.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Buxom does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    Every second buxom wench is in shot = excellent<p> Every second beard guy is in shot = annoying<p> But on balance between buxom wench and beard guy I think it just scrapes an excellent.<p>

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:32 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    If I was trapped in zombie apocalypse with her then i'd survive on her breast milk and she'd survive on my spunk. Happy days!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:42 p.m. CST

    @ Cobra --Kai

    by DickJones

    You sir are a very nasty nasty gentleman...like me. :)

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:47 p.m. CST

    Make sure to go back and watch all the "WRONG" choices.

    by Kraken

    Some really funny stuff in them.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 4:50 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Indeed Dick, we always knew where the line was drawn...<p> AND YOU JUST STEPPED OVER IT BUDDY BOY!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:01 p.m. CST

    the laid back attitude of the Kiwis

    by StarryNight

    and their sense of humor. How is a generalization like this not worse than saying "all black people are lazy" or "Jews are greedy and neurotic"? Quint is a casual racist.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:02 p.m. CST

    by bruce SG

    I must admit Hell's Pizza ain't the best Pizza back home but they sure know how to sell pizza's.A few years ago they got in trouble for giving away condons in the mail while advertising their lust pizza and seem too piss of the Morality Police every year.I miss kiwi talk "Stink" cracked me up.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:05 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Bruce, are you from downunder?!<p> Cos from your name I never would have suspected.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:05 p.m. CST

    StarryNight

    by BP_drills_america_a_new_asshole

    Quint is racist for saying New Zealanders have a laid back attitude? That's a pretty fucking massive leap you've taken there!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:07 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    StarryNight, please don't label me a casual racist for the above comment.<p> Tho a lactation fetishist from the earlier comment would be a fair cop.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Damn it. I had to watch every combination.

    by JediRob

    About 30 minutes down the drain. But definitely cool!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:14 p.m. CST

    by bruce SG

    Cobra--Kai my mother was a fucking Comedian.And i know my pizza in my younger dayz me and my flatmates filled a room with beer and pizza boxes cause we were too lazy to take them outside for recycling.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:20 p.m. CST

    I Once Had The Loveliest Pizza

    by Dr_Satan

    I ordered a plain pizza with extra cheese and, when the pizza delivery guy arrived, i was incredibly pleased to see that not only was there lots of meat on him but that he smelt of cooked sausage.<p>He was one of my most favorite toppings. I still have some of him left in my freezer.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:20 p.m. CST

    Don't forget...

    by force_fed

    to drink your ovaltine?

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:21 p.m. CST

    Recycling does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    Bruce, good on yer mate. And good on yer ma.<p> We've only got one planet talkbackers. RECYLE!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:24 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Dr_Satan, you ate the pizza boy's sausage?<p>

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:25 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Mike_D what topping you go for?<p> Call my taste buds crazy but I enjoy tuna and pineapple.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Cobra--Kai

    by Dr_Satan

    Indeed I did. And I washed it down with a nice glass of red wine.<p>I'm not gay, however. I have also cooked and eaten lovely full breasts in my time.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:28 p.m. CST

    re: Harry's INCEPTION review

    by IAmLegolas

    If I'm reading between the lines, the movie is far above his means to review it properly, might have went clear over his head. So he tapped out of it with the excuse of falling asleep and being busy with Comic-Con. The next you'll hear about it is when he's writing his blurb for the Blu-Ray release and it'll be something like "I fell asleep during my first viewing, can't wait to check this out again on my PS3!!!1111"

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:29 p.m. CST

    The only INCEPTION review you'll need

    by IAmLegolas

    Vern's ... http://tinyurl.com/32mzd5b

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:34 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Dr_Satan, don't you hate it when you carve into a big juicy boob, smothered in gravy, you slip that quivering morsel into your mouth only to taste... silicone - blurgh!<p> www.cannibalsforbignaturals.com

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 5:44 p.m. CST

    I Love Hell Pizza....

    by mediamole

    Their pizza boxes fold into coffins!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Hell Pizza is good

    by the podosphere

    and the kumara fries (that's sweet potato fries to the uninitiated) are great!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 6:24 p.m. CST

    And you know how they answer the phone at Hell Pizza

    by the podosphere

    "Welcome to Hell."

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 6:36 p.m. CST

    re: Harry's Inception review

    by Jimmy_Saunders

    Relax guys, he just posted this yesterday on Twitter: "ok, finally saw ALL of INCEPTION, and have a full opinion to write about".. So be patient :P

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Got Hell in Oz too....I

    by AttackingClone

    I think they're pretty good pizzas, better than dominos + pizza hut (cheapest stores) I love this kind of advertising and all their promo stuff, nice change to have character

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 7:49 p.m. CST

    I went with a surpeme topping.

    by Mike_D

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 9:13 p.m. CST

    Hell Pizza is awesome

    by Teko

    I loved Hell when I was in NZ. Tasty toppings, hellish stores, kumara fries, and pizza boxes that fold into little coffins.

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 9:40 p.m. CST

    Look at my face, Dick! He was gonna kill me.

    by UltraTron

    He's a cyborg you idiot!

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 9:49 p.m. CST

    Harry's nceptshun revewe:

    by UltraTron

    Duh, dat wuz neato! Duh.. I like da pretty colahhs and stuff on da screen. Duuh.. I di-nnt see avatar da whole way threw in da pictcha show dere needah. Thar.... Duuurrrr... Duuuhhhh.. I seen all of dem obscure pieces uh shit dat dem mystery science guys make fun of only I tink dey r guud mooveez but I don like ta see dem blockbusta type daaaarrrrrr......

  • Aug. 6, 2010, 10:05 p.m. CST

    pizza

    by cyberskunk

    I like a place called Pizza Port. There are actually a few Pizza Ports. The one I go to is in a place called Solana Beach. Their website's http://pizzaport.com They have a mural behind their brewery that represents the local area and also some of their beers, so they have a smiling shark holding up a beer off the coast to represent Sharkbite Red, and there's some skeleton further off the coast chugging something called Old Boneyards to represent their barleywine. But I rarely drink their alcoholic beverages when I'm there.

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 12:11 a.m. CST

    I love Kiwis

    by Tigger Tales

    I know a handful of them. Yes, the people, not the birds.

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 12:13 a.m. CST

    Titties! MMMMMMM

    by BetterCallSaul

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 12:45 a.m. CST

    Cool idea

    by UrbanSamurai

    although I always took the wrong turn. Definitely has that weird Braindead vibe. Although sometimes I cannot understand the fuck they're talking about...

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 2:13 a.m. CST

    CINEMAX!!!

    by RPLocke

    Reminds me of Cinemax.

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 8 a.m. CST

    absolutly brilliant

    by skywise404

    i loved this, it was funny, bloody and brilliant. those kiwis are hillarioius.

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 9:24 a.m. CST

    And yet no more INCEPTION reviews

    by AsimovLives

    The check must not have cleared.

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Hahaha I remember Hell Pizza very well!

    by XoanonTORN

    When I was in Wellington post King Kong I remember laughing at the name, but thinking they were very creative with their ads and commercials. I don't remember eating there though...

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Zombies are for fags

    by alienindisguise

    and Dead Alive is the epitome of suckage. A total waste of time.

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 6:39 p.m. CST

    Hell Pizza is too good

    by VicBStard

    Ate too much of it and now I can't stand it. I recommend Hell Pizza Lake Road Belmont North Shore City.

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Great name

    by gotilk

    We had a place in the people's republic of Davis called "Murder Burger", but they forced 'em to change the name so now It's called REDRUM. you're welcome

  • Aug. 7, 2010, 10:40 p.m. CST

    Awesome Pizza

    by BetaSword

    Well, on the next Episode, they do somehow have to survive and escape.

  • Aug. 8, 2010, 1:39 a.m. CST

    Hell Pizza

    by Fineus Fog

    I live in NZ and to be honest Hell isn't that good - I worked at a place where they feed us Hell every night and I have tried everything on the menu. Honestly, the aftertaste is all the same and your shit still stinks something rotten. Pepe's Pizza on High St Lower Hutt FTW

  • Aug. 8, 2010, 3:33 a.m. CST

    that blonde chick had nice titties

    by Rupee88

    that's just about all that stood out in that vid

  • Aug. 8, 2010, 3:04 p.m. CST

    The ladder!

    by markjamesmurphy

    Wait- what? They have a ladder! WHY DIDN'T THEY USE THE LADDER???

  • Aug. 9, 2010, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Re: The ladder

    by I_am_the_ultimate_product

    Because the girl's box was surrounded by zombies. Unless you meant 'use the ladder as a bridge' which was my thought as well.

  • Aug. 9, 2010, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Hell Pizza IS Awesome!!

    by AlexatCinemaSharkz

    I'm from NZ and I freckin lovie hellpizzza!! And these latest ads are so awesome, I haven't check'd em out but i had Hellpiza yesterday!

  • Aug. 9, 2010, 4:20 p.m. CST

    Mmmm...Hell Pizza

    by TheSecretary

    Friday night is Hell Pizza night at our place - frickin’ best in town!! Love the ad and the zombie-to-cleavage ratio is juuust right....

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