Pete Zahut, Who Liked Past STEP UP Films, Says Part 3D Is 'the worst fucking movie ever made!'

Merrick here...
Pete Zahut kinda didn't like STEP UP 3D. His/her review...is pretty funny. Frankly, it actually makes me want to see the film more than I would have otherwise. If the picture's as altogether crappy as he says it is, STEP UP 3D could be enjoyable in a shameful, lowest-common-denominator, BREAKIN' 2 sorta way. KNow that there are a few SPOILERS below, in case SPOILERS actually matter in a case like this.
Here's Pete Zahut...

So I recently got to see Step Up 3D a week early and thought I'd send in my thoughts. To set things up: I liked Step Up and Step Up 2: The Streets - in that order. I think they are incredibly stupid/cliche movies, but the leads were kind of likable and some of the dancing was cool (I'm looking at you Final Dance Sequence In The Rain in Step Up 2!) I'm also a sucker for dance movies. Yes, I know how that reads. If I could change my nature I would. With that being said, let me tell you that Step Up 3D is the worst fucking movie ever made!!!! Oh my God it was bad! It wasn't even enjoyable on a campy, terrible level! It's awfulness transcended camp. I will not waste my/your time with a full summary. Let me just rant off a couple of points in order to give you an idea of what you will be walking into if you make the mistake of seeing this movie. 1) THE MALE LEAD CAN'T DANCE: How do you cast the male lead in Step Up 3D with an actor who can't really dance??? Seriously, take a look for yourself kids, I'm talking about the guy who starts every dance in front of the camera and then quickly runs to the back of the group as soon as any REAL DANCING begins. The dude is your standard pretty face who can't act and that might be acceptable in a dance movie if he could dance really freaking well... but he can't, so why cast him!???? If you're not worried about the dancing then why not cast a real actor!? 2) The heroes' main struggle is that they are going to loose their warehouse/living space in New York. They're five months behind on rent and can't afford to keep up with the mortgage. The only problem with this is that this "warehouse" is the most fantastically designed living space in the history of the world. They have rooms lined with pads for stunt dancing, rooms lined with super expensive shoes, rooms full of antique boom boxes, rooms full of the most state of the art editing equipment. Every time they mentioned that they couldn't pay the rent I kept yelling at the screen for them to sell a half dozen pairs of shoes in that one room!!! That should more than cover it. Also, this "warehouse" has a club at the bottom of it, a club that the main character says isn't doing very well... but then when we go down into the club, it's FREAKING PACKED BEYOND BELIEF!!! Maddening. 3) LOGIC: I'm not super picky. I just ask that a story make sense from A to B to C. There are too many spots in Step Up 3D where that doesn't happen, AT ALL, but let me just give you a few of my favorites: THE BAD GUY. The bad guy is super rich. The bad guy wants nothing more in the world than to win the main dance competition. The bad guy wants to win the main dance competition so badly that he is willing to pay off the Good Guy dance team with a substantial amount of money. That's all fine, until you learn the bad guy's back story which is that he used to be on the good guys dance team until he was paid off to loose the main dance competition the year before. Keep in mind that this character is independently wealthy and only seems to care about winning, so how the fuck does that back story make any sense??? 4) THE SETTING: This film is supposed to take place in present day New York City, but if a title card at the beginning of the movie had read MARS 2068, I would have been more inclined to believe the world that was being presented to me. At no point do the makers of this film convey a world that resembles or could ever be mistaken for, reality. From what I've read, New York is crowded place that is hard to drive around in. However in this movie our main character has a classic auto that he parks in a very large very vacant alley. He lives in a warehouse that looks like it came out of the movie HOOK( I was gonna write TMNT the movie, but I have too much love for that film to compare it in any way to this movie). 5) THE DANCING: There is one cool dance sequence. It involves a dude doing the robot and its awesome. Other than that, all the dancing looks exactly the same. I remember how cool it was when I first saw someone do that move where they spin on their head. That was great. Everyone can do that in this movie, and does, about eight times a minute (except for the main character who doesn't). THE DANCE COMPETITIONS: Our heroes tell us that you need to win 3 dance competitions to make it to the final match. Every competition they go to consists of them competing against one other dance crew. It never fails. Our heroes always walk into a new competition, compete against one other group, win and advance. No one else competes. Ever. Which makes you wonder how the bad guy dance group who is introduced at the beginning of the film makes it to the final match - since we never saw them in any of the previous competitions. 6) LOGIC: At one point a character betrays the good guys. Sells them out. The good guys then have to learn an entirely new routine in order to compete in the final match. Then during that final match, the character who betrayed the group earlier returns and apologizes and then begins to dance with the group again. The only problem being that they weren't around to learn the new dance so how are they able to do in sync with everyone else at a moments notice? And where did they get a matching costume for the final final dance????? AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! I could go on forever with this film. And I'm really sorry to anyone who worked on this film and thinks it's great. Maybe you're right. But maybe you're very, very wrong.