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Herc Says Syfy’s HAVEN Is More Like Haven’t!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
A sci-fi series barely based on the 2005 paranormal-free Stephen King novella “The Colorado Kid” and written by a bunch of guys who turned King’s “Dead Zone” into a USA series, “Haven” is more of the bland and familiar original-series filler that is fast becoming Syfy’s post-“Galactica” trademark.
(One missing ingredient is late, great “Dead Zone” showrunner Michael Piller, a gifted writer who had a big hand in eventually turning “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” into series worth remembering and revering.)
“Haven” follows hot FBI girl Audrey Parker (“John From Cincinnati’s” Cass, Emily Rose), who is dispatched to track down an escaped convict who has fled to his small seaside Maine hometown. And yeah, “The Fugitive” and “Karen Sisco” and “Justified” have taught us this does seem like more a job for the marshal’s service than the FBI. Whatever.
When the convict is killed in the opening minutes, Parker encounters unconvincing “uncanny” CGI events, dull characters and a town that will serve to irritate fans of the similar but much better “Twin Peaks.” (“Haven” is, however, rather less annoying than “Happy Town,” ABC’s 2010 attempt to clone “Peaks.” For whatever that’s worth.) The series’ other main characters include a handsome but slow-on-the-uptake local cop played by Lucas Bryant (“Queer As Folk”) and a roguish local seaman played by Eric Balfour of “24” and “Six Feet Under” fame.
The mystery built in the pilot involves a victim, suspects and witnesses few are likely to care about. And given how “Dead Zone” sputtered to its uninspired conclusion, I’ve little faith this enterprise will right itself anytime soon.
The hour’s highlight is an odd, brief sequence in which Parker wakes naked in unfamiliar surroundings. Rose cavorts briefly without pants, and she’s an actress few will mind seeing in any state of undress.
USA Today says:
… a ludicrously see-through supernatural crime drama that wastes a perfectly fine performance from Emily Rose … sort of Eureka without the science or wit …
The New York Times says:
… “Haven” not only resembles its Syfy stablemates, but it’s also just about as good, which means that if you like a cozy, lived-in mystery with some quirky characters in a pleasant setting — and you don’t mind spotty writing and perfunctory camerawork — you may enjoy it. Where it pales is in its central performances. In “Eureka” Colin Ferguson plays bland, to good comic effect; in “Haven” Emily Rose (“ER,” “Jericho”), as the F.B.I. agent Audrey Parker, is bland. Eric Balfour (“24”) also stars as a fisherman and the bad-boy leg of a potential romantic triangle; his acting is still less arresting than the stark planes of his face. …
The Los Angeles Times says:
… Viewers sad about the end of "Happy Town" and looking for another creepy municipal drama filmed in Canada may find this a port in the storm, though it is more cheaply appointed and less spectacularly cast. Still, it would be pointless to attack the show for not achieving things that are beyond its ambitions. It wants to scare you a little, and to amuse you a little more. …
HitFix says:
… the fish out of water story needs either an interesting fish or an interesting body of water, and preferably both. If you’re going to relocate a boring person to a boring place, why bother at all? No one, unfortunately, revealed that lesson to the creators of “Haven” …
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:
… Syfy's latest and not greatest series. … The mysteries of "Haven" do offer some intrigue but coupled with fairly unextraordinary situations and plots, the show may have a tough time convincing viewers to become weekly visitors.
The Boston Herald says:
… Tonight’s mystery ultimately doesn’t hang together, but it does establish the show’s light mythos in an easy-to-digest way … Rose might grow into her role, but Bryant is so wan and emotionally distant, I half-expected him to turn out to be a vampire, the monster du jour. He could give “True Blood’s” Stephen Moyer lessons in emotional repression. (There’s always sweeps for that sort of revelation.) “Haven’s” most frightening omen: The presence of known show killer Eric Balfour (“Conviction,” “Veritas: The Quest”) as bad boy Duke Crocker. The producers might be considering a triangle similar to “True Blood’s” Bill-Sookie-Eric tangle, but the safest course for this series is to arrange an eviction.
The Boston Globe says:
… a third-rate summer series … the TV equivalent of a $3 Halloween mask. … Is the town filled with superheroes, super-villains, or average people cursed with unwanted “gifts’’? Whatever. The characters are so shallow, it’s hard to invest interest in them. …
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… a show one will like for 20 reasons, and one that will irritate for 25 more. It has some good bones, though, and a strong, willing cast. Whether the big picture is even worth delving into, however, is one mystery that probably won't be so easily solved.
Variety says:
… Despite its "Imagine Greater" promotional slogan, Syfy appears stuck in a bit of a creative rut. Enter "Haven," which, even with a Stephen King pedigree (it's based on his novella "The Colorado Kid"), feels like the bastard child of its lead-in, "Eureka," and "Warehouse 13." Beyond the ominous clouds, collapsing roads and unpredictable weather, there's not much to get excited about in the pilot for this Canadian co-production, which has the added burden of some unfortunate casting choices. In short, those seeking a haven from summer ennui had best look elsewhere.
…
10 p.m. Friday. Syfy.
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Though the victory seems hollow, since this is a crappy SyFy post.
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Roguish local seaman? Quit lobbing us softballs, Herc.
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I didn't even read the article, but the title deserved some of my time.
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the "local seamen". ask around.
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Twin Peaks was the first thing I thought of when I saw the commercials
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So this site continues to give coverage to SyFy's crappy shows, yet we never see any Supernatural love?!? What the hell, that show kicks serious ass. Yes I know the season is over, but the new season is coming up and I'll bet you money we will not see a pip about the series.
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I thought I smelled smoke.
I KID I KID ☺ -
I feel your pain. My first "first" came on a post about Skeet Ulrich being cast in the new Law & Order. Yeesh. I was also second and could have been 3-12 for as much interest that that gem garnered.
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http://tinyurl.com/26fc96a
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I was mildly interested until I saw Balfour's mug on the screen during a preview.
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They produce mass quantities of these badly written cheaply produced shows. Unwatchable movies? ghosthunters, professionalish wrestling? is that crap realy more profitable than quality shows like BSG and Farscape? Why do they pay to produce all this crap?
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What a horrible article title. For shame.
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Honestly, I kept waiting for Kevin Eubanks to chime in with his forced laughter.
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BOO!
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Jul 09, 2010 4:03:32 PM CDT
Well what did you expect from the Syfo Club Soda Channel?
by jaylenotookmyjob
'Course it blows and sucks, in every way possible. And being a Canadian co-production ain't helping. Canadians for some reason, cannot get the knack of any aspect of the film or TV industries. Maybe Syfo should try spending some fucking MONEY next time? Oh, that's right, they don't have any.
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I HATE Eric Balfour
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Jul 09, 2010 4:23:58 PM CDT
What's with TV producers' thing for bringing back Twin Peaks?
by prof. pop-cult
Unless you are David Lynch, or even Mark Frost, you have no business attempting to try to revitalize Twin Peaks. So please don't even try. Makes you look creatively inept and jealous of Lynch.
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But not sexy enough to make me watch this.
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Lost was good.
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and we're going to watch a crappy show on syfy because the hot chick gets nekkid but doesn't show anything? OK. Maybe.
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...was a beautiful show. You were just too busy wanting it to be good to appreciate the extraordinary cornucopia of delights it offered. Off the top of my head I can name ten classic moments in the series where a reveal was botched so completely as to lose any possible impact, ten absolutely ludicrous plot developments, ones that weren't just illogical but downright astounding and ten "creepy and dramatic" monologues (sadly almost all were delivered by Sam Neill, although Mr. Friendly got one) that were just hilarious. My favorite of each: The reveal of the Milla Jovovich looking girl's bloody hammer. It was fantastic because it should have been a moment that made the viewer doubt and fear her but instead, because of who found it and the fact that he took it, it was bumbled into a sequence where you were supposed to be invested in the mysterious girl getting her mysterious bloody hammer back. Although the finding the hand scene was right up there, too. And finding out that Larry from Buffy had killed someone. And...yeah, there were a bunch. Favorite ridiculous plot development had to be the old lady who ran the town being able to stop the hammer girl from leaving. She shut down the railroad (railroads aren't local, really), blocked off the ONLY road out of a pretty big town for "weeks" and apparently was even able to somehow cloud hammer girl's mind to the point that she didn't just start out walking one morning and head to the next town. And of course, poor old Sam standing in the "House of Ushers" (just imagine the moment when the writers came up with that name; just like watching some kid cross the finish line at the Special Olympics)describing the scary movie that had so influenced his life...and sounding like a guy trying to remember that movie he'd watched where the power hitter had a voodoo doll and the pitcher had so little control they called him Wild Thing...think it was Slap Shot. If you insist on competence, Herc, you're going to miss out on a lot of pleasure life has to offer.
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RPLocke...How wrong are you? One hundred and seventeen. In case you don't know, that's very, very wrong. Please try to be more right in the future. Thank you. Prof...although I agree with the notion that trying to do a direct riff is a mistake it should be possible for someone to do the same sort of quirky, maybe paranormal maybe not, mysterious ensemble piece, and one that would reflect the creative vision of the actual creators as opposed to their memory of Lynch and Frost's. And no, I do not have any evidence for my belief. I simply choose to remain hopeful.
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the lead woman seemed even remotely likable, which she doesn't to me.
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Where's Pyramid Head?
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see if it goes anywhere
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...into thinking it was good until the final season. The finale clinched it: Lost is shit. It was a long con perpetrated on its viewers and fans.
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See to it. Baltar is there. Need Six.
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Warehouse 13
I was really disapointed by whse13
Was hoping for something with teeth
Like The SCP Foundation
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/ -
and all of us will have no reason to watch this dreck. Problem solved and your welcome.
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FBI can recover federal fugitives like the Marshals. Depends on manpower, resources and priority. If capture of said fugitive is going to make the media, FBI is all over it. If not, give to the US Marshals. I am just saying.
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they didn't know how many seasons they were going to have, and the ending sort of came by surprise.
I still maintain that anyone who knew going in exactly how many seasons they had to p[lay with, could craft a suitable King-like ending. -
but I'll watch Rhona Mitra in anything. She's that hot.
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So, yeah, it wasn't really that bad. Certainly rough around the edges but there was nothing too hate worthy about it. Better than Happy Town's and Persons Unknown's first episodes and I liked it way more than Eureka or Warehouse 13.
I remember a once golden age when geeks would like and even occasionally champion flawed genre shows, a time when people would say "...but it gets better after season 1." But apparently everything has to be as good as LOST's pilot to be worth sticking around for these days. -
is stupid. It was NOTHING like TP - if anything, it was more like Desperate Housewives (in tone) or one of the lost Tim Minear shows.I really enjoyed Happy Town, it could've been a fantastic series. @Red Ned Lynch: I think the fact that 'Chloe' couldn't leave town was a massive hint to the overall nature of Haplin, i.e. it probably wasn't 'real' in one sense or other; for example, how did Big Dave appear in that old German film?
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If you end Lost at Season Five, and ignore Season Six, it's pretty cool actually. They ignite the bomb and they died. That's basically what happened in Season Six. They were ALL DEAD!!
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all i remember is watching a couple of shitty eps and reading bad reviews. how do these turdfests stay on the air when good shows get cancelled?!
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But the show is doa. What is the problem with finding writers who can produce even semi-realistic dialogue? Series with good writers stand out these days more than ever, like Justified or Breaking Bad. It used to be that even mediocre shows could rustle up some lines that didn't make the audience cringe. It's the same with modern films, dialogue writing is a lost art it seems.
Added to that, the direction is dull and the fx are painful.
I'll watch the next episode, see if there's an improvement. If not can it and give Rose a spot on Dexter. -
I agree with your assessment of the first few episodes but after the first season it really hit the spot and garnered a solid core of fans.
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The home of the worst movies ever seen. I can't watch any of them. Glorify them as "B" schlock, they are just shit...nothing more.
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That's really all you can say. Then again, haven't we all learned by now to judge most pilots by a lower standard? Too much exposition.
I liked the quirky humor, and they were a little subtle about revealing who the weather-controller was. The ending was kind of trite, but de Boer and Garrow sold it. The Audrey and Duke characters were okay. Nathan seemed dull as toast, though.
I didn't really get the feeling they were going for "quirky" as much as "witty dialogue."
Did anyone catch the "The Shining" injoke? -
They weren't kidding when they said the equation had changed. Although it makes me thing if perhaps they meant that LITERALLY, as in an actual math equation. Without James Callis' character in the past, Einstein lost a working partner, which means perhaps some equations that resulted in some benefits to original timeline Eureka have been altered.
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...I'm more than willing to accept that possibility. And you know, every week I was rooting for Happy Town. There were half a dozen people in that cast I would love to see in a well done surreal genre show. But if that's what Happy Town was going for they just didn't know how to do it. The tone of the show, the writing and performances, were too inconsistent to permit being drawn into its reality. The direction was too tv pedestrian, blowing what could have been big moments if handled differently (like the discovery of the hand) and every time they approached what could have been a great wtf moment, like with the grieving woman throwing around the flour, they pulled back as though they were afraid to commit to a vision. So if that was what they were going for they hadn't laid sufficient groundwork for it to work effectively. And believe me I'm not bagging on the show just to be bagging on it. Contemporary dark fantasy is just about my favorite genre of all the genres there are, and really I'm enough of a geek to love them all. I would have much rather been able to enjoy Happy Town without finding it funny.
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...yeah, I remember those days too. It was because we usually didn't get fed, so we took our porridge and liked it, thank you very much. I remember watching the old Spiderman tv show as a kid thinking 'well, this is all right. This is all right'. This is a different time in a whole lot of ways. But I still try to carry the flag. Watched Happy Town all the way to the bitter end and I'm still looking at Persons Unknown. Got Haven sitting on the dvr, but last night was the drive-in and Predators with a dessert of Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz trying to pretend it was still 2001.
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It managed to mimic some Stephen King-ish atmosphere.
I was wondering why they were highlighting the connection to the Colorado Kid novella rather than The Tommyknockers, which took place in "Haven". So now I see they plan to build on the unanswered questions brought up in Colorado Kid for mythology, while the Townies will supply the monster of the week plots because of the special powers imbued on the the Haven folk in Tommyknockers. Lots of options there. -
I see what you are getting at but it wasn't that long ago honestly. When you have the likes of Star Trek: TNG(most Star Treks really), Babylon 5, Buffy, Angel. You know, some of the genre show sacred cows and all with rather dull first seasons, you have to wonder "Why is everyone so quick to dismiss, well, everything?".
Maybe because in this day and age it is easier to find something more in line with one's own personal taste but I think it's a shame that geekdom's(for lack of better term) defining characteristic is no longer their passion for _____ but their complete disdain for nearly anything and everything, to the point where people hate things they've never seen. -
They had a "Winner" at the end, but the entire thing was done so low key, you might as well wonder what the whole point was.
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James Callis is a welcome addition to the cast, and I like the changes.
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as I did like the few episodes of Eureka I've seen up til now, and this seems to have a similar vibe from the previews I've seen.What I want to see in a weird small town type of supernatural mystery show, would be something that has Lovecraftian monsters lurking in the woods. It could have a similar creepy vibe to the one that was used in the John Carpenter film In the Mouth of Madness, during the Hobbs End sequence. Actually, Hobbs End would be a cool name for a show like this. No trying to clone Twin Peaks. No crazy weirdo small town characters. Just give us creepy crawlers lurking in the woods (and lakes), and some genuinely human characters trying to deal with the beasts. I'd love to see a show like that.No zombies, vampires, or werewolves either. Make new creatures that we've never seen before. Save money by shooting it Jaws/Alien style, where we only see fleeting glimpses of the monsters before more revealing shots are featured later in the series.I've always wanted to write an original TV series along these lines. Of course, now with the seemingly "weird small town" supernatural/mystery wave that has hit TV land as of late, I'd probably be shown the door for being too "unoriginal".
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Finally some A-game material has been brought to the table!
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Haven...not so much. At least not yet. I love the lead girl, gorgeous and she did a nice job with the part but the story was weak at best. A pilot should suck you in. Say what you want about Lost, yes the end kinda sucked but the pilot and 1st few seasons kicked serious ass.
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I agree 100 percent about Rhona Mitra, I could spend hours just watching her take a dump. Her face is just captivating to me. And she has a great bod. Not to mention she is a damn fine actress.
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Peter Krause isn't doing anything right now.
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doubling for Maine, which it has done before for Stephen King(Dolores Claiborne was filmed around my hometown - it was very odd to watch when she goes to the bank and it was my bank...). I might watch this show just to see my old home Province. It would be kind of nice to see a decent show filmed there to boost the local economy and film industry a bit - I think it's been awhile since a successful show has been filmed there - the last one I remember was LEXX.
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let me know if haven gets better. otherwise i'm done with it.
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Uh-huh. And where is the rest of the team, headed by an old white guy?
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for the right to plagiarize "Friday the 13th: The Series"?
Two young antique store owners must recover cursed antiques. -
They were churning out the same lame drive long before BSG came out.
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I wonder if the only reason "Buffy" made it was because he died in the pilot. I have this on the dvr, but not sure if I feel like putting forth the effort to watch it.
In other news: I was sort of lukewarm on the first season of Warehouse 13, but I did enjoy the premiere quite a bit. -
Has an uglier man ever been cast as handsome on TV? This isn't the sixties you know.
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