Hey folks.... Harry here with a short intro bit for Quint's mini-review section here. Unfortunately our lime-sucking seaman has been struck with a near fatal computer crash and can't take the time he usually takes to write up full length reviews. If... you can help Quint out with his computer problems.... a loaner or some crappy TRS 80... drop him a line at his email address down at the bottom of this page. He's checking them at Best Buy, Computer City and various other public libraries. But still... he comes through... Lend a hand if ya can...

Ahoy, mates. Everybody's favorite crusty ol' seaman here once more. It's
been a while since my last report due to an unfortunate circumstance, a long
tale that I'll spare you. Suffice it to say it involved a lot of water and a
feeding frenzy or two.

Now, if you've been keeping up with the site I'm sure you're aware of the
big goings on movie-wise here in Austin as of late. With the Austin Film
Festival shows and the Austin Film Society finally getting off their butts
and bringing in the premiere of Soderberg's newest, The Limey not to mention
the usual amount of film sneaks, well... let's just say it's been hard on
the scheduling. I'm going to share some mini-reviews with you. I've seen too
many movies recently to write up full length reviews for all, or even just
the good ones. It works out better for everybody that way.

I'll start with the film that opened the Film Festival this year, BODY
SHOTS. The plot revolves around a rape accusation. American Pie's Tara Reid
accuses Jerry O'Connell ("If I could only eat one food for the rest of my
life... that's easy. Pez. Cherry flavored Pez.") of raping her. Believe it
or not, the movie isn't what you'd imagine it to be by that description. In
a way it's much lighter than it sounds, but only light where it should be
and heavy when it needs to be. Sincerely, this is as funny as a movie about
rape can be. There's this one guy played by Office Space's Ron Livingston
that is probably one of my favorite movie characters this year. Every time
he changed outfits or told stories about his past sex experiences or was
just in the background he stole the scene. If for no other reason check out
the flick just to see this character. If you have even a remote sense of
humor, you'll bust a gut every time he appears on screen.

THE STRAIGHT STORY David Lynch's new and G-rated movie is, well... a gem.
It's a movie that surprised me. I mean, how can a movie about an old man
driving a riding lawnmower through the midwest hold my attention? Even if it
is directed by Lynch? Seriously, this movie never moves faster than the
lawnmower is, but due to the rich and incredibly interesting characters,
terrific acting and beautiful photography it manages to be one of those
movies you just can't explain. By all means this movie should have bored the
living fuck right out of me, but the fact that it didn't just goes to the
credit of David Lynch. Lynch has certainly proved he doesn't need sex,
violence and vulgar fucking language to express himself as an artist. Now,
The Straight Story isn't the most fun movie of the year, but it's very
touching nonetheless. Keep an eye out for Sissy Spacek's terrific
performance.

NATURAL SELECTION OK, this is an independent movie starring David Carradine
about serial killer in Texas. The movie is intercut with an after the fact
mock documentary about the killer and his victims. All the documentary stuff
is hilarious, played wonderfully over-the-top. From the killer's mother
making jack-off sounds and saying that the reason her son killed people is
because he jerked off so much as a child to the redneck friends out
a'huntin' while being interviewed to the killer's brother who has a penchant
for putting things up his rectum. Unfortunately, the actual movie doesn't
compare, at least at the beginning. The movie does get better as the victims
pile up and David Carridine, as the FBI agent after the killer, gets crazier
and crazier. I think the best way to describe this movie is it's an above
average direct to video movie. A lot of the movie works. Unfortunately, a
good amount doesn't work, thanks mainly to some awful acting by everyone
early on. If it is released on video, I'd recommend picking it up just for
the documentary stuff alone. It's a commendable effort. It doesn't take
itself seriously, thus avoiding becoming a boring, pile of crap.

Well, I just have to mention a few shorts that I saw. Let me start with
mentioning one that you probably haven't seen or heard of. I believe it's
called Building A Better Mouse Trap. It's a completely 3-D animated maybe
2-3 minute short that was obviously inspired by the early Tom and Jerry and
Warner Bros. Cartoons. It plays like a commercial for this big, robot
mousehunter. It was very entertaining and took turns I didn't expect. If you
get a chance to see this one, it's well worth your 3 minutes.

The other short I'm gonna talk about is one that a lot have seen, but most
have only heard about. It is George Lucas In Love. Brilliant, brilliant,
brilliant. I love this short so much I wish that I had done it. Taking the
plot of Shakespeare In Love and putting Lucas in Shakespeare's place and
seeing all the influences of his most famous work... I love it! And it's
acted so well! I was snickering at some of the other shorts I saw because
they had credits longer than the film. I mean, half of the shorts I saw had
CRAFT SERVICES credited!!! CATERING on a short film!!! What the fuck! But
you know what? I found I didn't mind the credits of G. Lucas in Love. They
could have spent a billion dollars on it for all I care. It's still
brilliant.

Anyway, I must board the Orca once again. Till next time, constant readers.

-Quint

aicnquint@hotmail.com