Cool News
UPDATE W/ COMMENT FROM FRANK MARSHALL INDY 5 May Be About...
Merrick again...
Frank Marshall has responded to Stuff's INDY 5 plotline story (linked below) via his Twitter stream.
The rumor about INDY 5 is completely false. Nothing has changed, we are not shooting next year and still in the research phase...
Might've been grand not to let the story hang in the ether for over 24 hours (which is a dangerous eternity on The Net), but there you have it...
Merrick here...
An award winning New Zealand news site called Stuff has a scoop about the next INDIANA JONES adventure.
While the info below can't be confirmed at this time, it's important to remember that...in the past...many scoops of this nature (from far more unlikely sources) have proven to be 100% accurate. So, don't take this to the bank quite yet...but nor should you dismiss it until we've received some sort of official denial about the following.
As such, note that there are POSSIBLE SPOILER AHEAD!!
Indiana Jones 5 will begin shooting next year, and much of the plot line will be centered around the Bermuda Triangle, an area over the North Atlantic Ocean where a number of aircraft are said to have disappeared.
"George (Lucas) and Steven (Spielberg) have been working on a script and it's almost there," a source explained.
"Harrison is on stand-by for filming next year. This looks like being an emotional and exciting conclusion to the franchise, with Indy facing his biggest challenge yet."
[EDIT]
"Shia LaBeouf has a central role again as Indy's son but this will be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way rather than the CGI efforts of the last movie," the source added.
...says Stuff HERE.
A big thanks to Warren for pointing us towards the news - it'll be interesting to see how this plays out.
If this happens, I'm not sure what to think about The Bermuda Triangle being involved, although I suspect the story wouldn't hinge on The Triangle itself as much as the oddness/possibilities within it. For a brief moment, I thought KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL was gonna zap Indy & Co. to another dimension during its finale (it felt like they were setting up that possibility). Perhaps something along those lines might happen here?
By the way, I'm gonna take this moment to once again steer you towards a very interesting book abouit the making of the four INDY films to date: THE COMPLETE MAKING OF INDIANA JONES by J.W. Rinzler (available HERE
). Rinzler's the same dude who brought us the even more amazing MAKING OF STAR WARS (HERE
) and will soon be giving THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
the same treatment. If you haven't ever taken a look at these books and you Geek for these movies, consider doing so. They're nice.
Hope someone wakes up Harrison this time...
--- Follow Merrick on Twitter! ---
Readers Talkback
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5 years too late
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first
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is this good news? i mean it has a chance as long as GL don't try to write it
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Stupid.
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Why god. why?
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Indiana Jones and the Search for nursing home.
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THE WORST IDEA I CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF. I mean, after Indy 4? Indy 4 making The Phantom Menace look like Empire Strikes Back by comparison.
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removing the overuse of CGI to make this an awesome Indy movie. And no, I'm not gonna say Shia has to be taken away, a sidekick has never made an Indy movie bad. They have to do this film in a way that makes us think like Indy 4 never happened. And NO FUCKING ALIENS! Other than that, I'd say the Bermuda Triangle is an interesting starting point.
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But Shea really needs to stay "directly below the enemy's scrotum" and far away from this film.
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June 8, 2010, 10:29 a.m. CST
Indiana Jones And The Search For The Lucas Who Doesn't Suck
by LaserPants
He was apparently murdered sometime between ESB and ROTJ.
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The last film made $787 million (+). That's why they'd bother.
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Less Labeouf would be better.
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Now I even catch the Ford Finger of Doom in his early stuff, like (!) Empire Strikes Back. But I like the no CGI idea.
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getting into shenanigans again just makes me want to take a nap. ugh, depressing to see a once great franchise drown in a pool of it's own waste. just fucking stop this embarrassment already.
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I'm guessing that this has something to do with Atlantis - that they go through some kind of portal at the Bermuda Triangle and end up in Atlantis. Here's my Indy joke: Indiana Jones and the Search For Incontinence Pants.
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June 8, 2010, 10:33 a.m. CST
CGI the ending of Close Encounters so it's Harrison Ford getting
by Hiplainsdrifter
Like they did in Star Wars with Darth Vader. It would make sense to have him disappear in the Triangle and then release Close Encounters with updated CGI and have Harrison Ford be amongst the people getting off the ship. Then we could have Indy in the mordern day - for Indy 6.
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...and id absolutely love a new Indy film that used 100% practical effects. I'd even go as far to say that i dont mind being able to see the wires (so to speak), dont even try to hide the fact.
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This will be another complete disappointment.
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Spl.? Am I missing something?
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I think the evil George Luucas ate the original.
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They will BTTF 2 this movie and make the Bermuda Triangle their portal to the other Indy adventures. Then we can see how Indy and Jughead, or whatever Shia's name is, actually helped Indy get the Ark, defeat Mola Ram, and chose the right Grail, etc.... Thereby wrecking the entire franchise.
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They do go with a lot of practical effects last time out. Even that crazy alien door at the end was a real working device done with practical effects. The ants and monkeys were CGI, but it wasn't a CGI film completely.<p>Is it too much to ask to see Indy actually save the day as opposed to getting captured and watching the villians do whatever they want?<p>And am I the only one who thought they were going to kill Marion in Indy IV?
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The story will be about Indy and his wacky sidekicks being given a magical item for no reason other than to push the plot forward. The whole movie will consist of 2 hours of Indy running from bad guys who want this magical item for their own nefarious plans. the item will also be the answer to any and all mystical obsticles Indy comes across. At the end of the movie a magical force solves everything for everybody and the movie ends. In conclusion...Indy 4 sucked ass and I don't expect much more from part 5 considering they took way longer to put 4 together.
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Come on, Lucas is in love with CGI, he'll probably push for Avatar cameras. I can see it now, Indy and Shia crash on a remote Island inside the Bermuda Triangle where an ancient Alien race lives and Indy must convince them not to make war with the rest of the world. But the Aliens say they must because we humans are destroying the planet's ecosystem. CGI CGI CGI!!!!!!!
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Fucking Christ was a hackneyed, thrown together scrap yard of an article!</p>As for the content, I'm totally down for Indy in the Bermuda Triangle. It's a phenomenon that is rarely mentioned in pop culture anymore. I hope they tie Atlantis into it.
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the episode of south park where the boy's 'friend' gets raped. turns out the friend is indy and he's getting raped over and over by spielberg and lucas, in classic movie rape scenes like deliverance. lucas is even doing the 'squeal like a pig, boy!' squeeeeeee!' so funny, so very true.
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It wasn't the worst film in the history of mankind. Can we tone down the hyperbole for a little bit? There are far worse movies out there.
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...and the Missing Days-of-the-Week Pill Container. Or maybe Indiana Jones and the Early Bird at the Kountry Kitchen Buffet. Or Indiana Jones Vs. The Touch of the Rheumatiz... In His Right Knee.
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What will it be this time? Lucas raping a baby Indiana Jones? Harry will enjoy that I guess.
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When film-makers are forced to deal with limitations, it gets their creative juices flowing. <p> As of late, filmmakers with fairy impressive resumes have shown that their quality drops with an increase in CGI availability. This would clearly include Spielberg, Lucas, and Zemekis. Jackson's getting dangerously close after King Kong. Romero was better before he used computers (but admittedly, he's just been running out of steam). Although I did enjoy Avatar to an extent, I'm going to add Cameron (as I greatly prefer his pre-Titanic stuff). Hell, Bay was even a *little* more fun before his films became absolute CG-fests. <p> The bottom line is is if George and Steven can force themselves to work within the scope of practical effects--like this rumor says they are considering--then I'm willing to stay hopeful.
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...that lives in the pouch under his chin.
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Audiences want to see something tie into an artifact. They need to keep it simple. Excalibur would be perfect (I don't care if they did it in a video game or comic book already, damn it!).
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. . . bring on the gill men!!! Damn, this makes me want a completely retro Johnny Quest movie . . .
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Why Shia? He's not funny, he's not that great an actor (far too jittery) and was one of the worst things about Indy 4. Why is Spielberg in love with this guy?!
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that the adventures in this film and in Crystal Skull were actually purgatory and Shia was just a manifestation of Indy's own insecurity about the relationship with his father. Sean Connery has a cameo at the end in a church after Indy keeps fighting off the realization. You get the picture.
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June 8, 2010, 10:44 a.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Last Will and Testament
by Shut the Fuck up Donny
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Not a chance! Stuff NZ is the internet outlet of the fairfax media group, who publish many of the dailies. They have no international sources of their own and only report what they find on the major news channels. The ink on Indy 5 does not even put a name to the info,... this is just something they gleaned from another source. Serious doubt on this. Maybe aintitcool can make a call and verify this lean came from within.
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Indy 5 is good. Last Crusade spared Temple of Doom. Very glad to hear that they're dumping the CG. That fucking cartoon prairie dog can suck a cheetah's dick.
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Crystal Skull had good moments, and some terrible terrible ones. I Just think they need to end this with something as epic as the Last Crusade moment, trying to get the grail before it falls. Legendary, ya know? I know it's weird but Indiana Jones does so much better when there is something he's searching for, and if I can be frank, if it's biblical. Not that Temple of Doom was bad obviously, but look at Last Crusade and Raiders of the Lost Ark versus that.
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June 8, 2010, 10:50 a.m. CST
I'm hopefully because spielberg is writing it as well
by Professor_Bedlam
If there is a person that can reel in Lucas it is Steven S. And if we look at the history of Indy films the first was amazing the second was good the third back to great and the forth in my opinion was ok. so if all goes to the plan the next and last one should be great as well. And less CGI is great!
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Will they be in 24fps?
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They for some reason threw a version of it into God of War III but I'm talking about the mythical version. The Roman spear that pierced Jesus's side and was said to give the person holding it the power of God. I mean, not Biblical of course, but it does derive from a Biblical source. I think that would be an interesting pursuit. Potentially more so than the Bermuda Triangle.
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The end of the world! Usually Indy 5 wouldn't be expected until 2015, but looks like they're gearing up for a summer 2012 release. So...2012 could give us Batman 3, Superman, The Hobbit and Indy 5. Could be an interesting year...and then we'll blow up. Yipee!
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A surviving Nazi kills Mutt in the first 5 minutes to get back at Indy, Indy spends the rest of the movie tracking the Nazi back to his hiding place in Atlantis, aka The Burmuda Triangle.<br><br>There, I fixed your story for you Mr Lucas, please do not add CGI animals nor any kiddie crap
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MAKING SOME FAT CASH
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The movie made over 700 million so all of our whining only goes so far but they "know" -- They'll get it right this time. They're geeks at heart so it's a matter of pride for them at this point.
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I've got it on my coffee table. I love the early designs for Raiders where the Nazi general has a mechanical arm that turns into a machine gun. Bizarro.
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..Jamie Bell's debut as Peter Parker.
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They need to go back to some old school methods: 1) GET VIC ARMSTRONG & team! The man's stunt work for the first 3 films was spectacular. It was the death defying nature of the original trillogy that made Indiana Jones such a thrill 2) Adapt to Ford's speed. At 69 you can't have Ford tearing it up like he used to, BUT the beauty to the Indiana Jones character was always his intelligence and resourcefulness. USE THAT! 3) A GOOD SCRIPT! David Koepp can eat trough of DICKS! We need some structure and intelligence. Maybe not so much bubble gum malarkey, either. Jones needs some grit back in his teeth 4) GET A GOOD OLD SCHOOL Villains! Raider's had classic villains. I'd rather them go out on a limb and use the half robo/pre production design Toht, than a giant Russian who has one line and he's our big secondary. The big guy's job is to pop up, get beat/shot/chopped then die. Ask Pat Roach (the god damned man) 5) WOMEN! Imagine a married Indiana Jones laying it down on the young impressionable ladies! And if his son's following again, Marion'll find that shit out. Then we get: Indy: "Hey I'm home" MArion:*PUNCH* 6) LOCATIONS!! A close second to the stunt work, locations made the original trilogy. Indiana Jones is about globe hopping adventure. What kick ass foreign treasures and lands will Indy need to visit to reach his true destination? Get out of library, and get back in the field! 7) Spielberg needs to get back in the game! I'm sorry but the directing on Crystal skull was just lazy and uninspired. And i LOVE Spielberg! He needs to get back some of the excitement and passion that made the originals... well.. so original! Maybe he should milk Douglas Slocomb's brain on camera work, or jsut study Raiders! I think if all this stuff happens, then we may have a KICK ASS INDIANA JONES FLICK. This isn't a series like Star Wars where we can swap out actors, and hope of greater future titles can keep us going. Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones, and we sadly won't have him able to hold up that title, in the capacity we'd like to see him, for much longer. Lets see if it follows the theory of every odd numbered Jones being amazing, whilst every even is shite (Love to Temple of Doom, but it is the weakest link of the originals)
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Stuff are just reprinting the same news from one of the dailies published by fairfax, the story ran in the Dominion Post, the only major daily for the capital Wellington. Here is the link to the same story on their site http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/entertainment/3786936/Indy-5-going-back-to-its-roots ... yet no journalist has put their name to the ink. It's gone viral though, as four other entertainment sites are now reporting the same story, all crediting Stuff or the Dominion with their source...yet Fairfax have not provided any reason to trust the nameless ink. I do not at all doubt that the right people might be in Wellington right now..it is "Wellywood" afterall, but until fairfax back it up by giving us the reporters name...no reason to trust this. Award winning site....baaaahahahahahahahaha!!! , as they say on the L&P ads..'World Famous in New Zealand!'
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He finds Ponce de Leon, and then Indy drinks the water, gets young and Spielberg and Lucas can do 100 more movies, each one stupider then the last
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...is pretty sweet. I was actually lucky enough to have it at my public library.
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June 8, 2010, 11:04 a.m. CST
They will deny this. The 'no CGI' part is just fanwank
by performingmonkey
They know the fans want it to be more of an old-fashioned adventure but will we get it? No. There definitely should be SOME CGI but it doesn't need to overwhelm the movie. And where were the balls-out moments present in all 3 past Indy flicks?? Not one moment do you think 'cool' (maybe when they're riding the bike, that was the best part of the whole film cause it felt momentarily like old Indy)
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I've defended elements of the film before (Blanchette, LeBeouf, aliens, Atomic Age) and citing exactly where it went wrong (writing), but I forgot to add Marion to the pros list. Too brief by far, but her cameo is pretty great. I also liked the way it dealt with aging -- present but not overwhelming.<p>I never raged over SKULL -- disappointing in regards to the series, but I didn't hate myself for watching it or the parties involved for making it. It's just a bit... flat, cartoony, a series of sometimes incredible moments slapped together in a very uninspired way.<p>Terry Gilliam said of Spielberg after WOTW: "...Steven Spielberg is a man who makes brilliant scenes but can't make a movie anymore." I think the statement better applies to SKULL than WOTW. If they move forward on INDY 5 I hope they can recapture some of the old magic.
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Geeks rejoice!
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Pirates 4 is about the Fountain of Youth. Not to mention the Holy Grail was too similar to the Fountain of Youth.
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Can someone answer that?
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Indy's plane gets lost on a Bermuda Island inhabited by topless Amazon women. He has to fuck his way off the island before it's "too late".<p>By "too late" I mean, before the Cialis and cocaine wear off.
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Raiders of your bank account. No but part 5 could be good. There is a chance.
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They have eveything including progress reports from certain days of filiming and first drafts of scripts. Everyone interested in the film making process needs to get this. It goes much further than the DVDs. Do show once again how much of a whore Lucas is they are releasing the star wars making of books seperate for each film vs the Indy book spanned the entire four films. Although i guess the star wars ones will be more in depth as a singular focus point. I wonder if they will stop at Jedi or do the prequels.. infact I take that back I don't wonder cause i don't care. Hey "making of" book guy do one of those making of books for Ghostbusters 1 and 2! They don't get enough love in the "making of" industry. Make it so
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... said it's willing to sign on the doted line as it's almost CERTAIN to be kept full of shit for the foreseeable future, much like this franchise. [P] lets go down the list shall we? Raiders: pure awesome in a cup, scary, exciting, funny, dramatic. Establishes Marcus as a possible 'older version' of Indy himself, with the wisdom and regrets that come with Life's experiences. [P] Temple of Doom: substitutes corny gags for drama, slapstick for darker toned humor, and cute kids with sympathetic characters. Ditch Marion in favor of Steven's Wife at the time. [P] Crusades: Reduce Marcus to bumbling fool, introduce a FAR MORE charismatic character Actor as Henry Sr. Bring in ungodly hot but terribly uninteresting/unconvincing actress as the foil/love interest. LOTS more slapstick. [P] Crystal Skull: Shit on paper plate, fling it at wall, enhance it with CG, pop Ford and Shit LaBeef in front of the green screen. Drag Marion back and end the film with Indy looking like he's having his first openly gay kiss and he can't decide if he's enjoying it or not. Entire film UTTERLY devoid of either emotion or sincerity. [P] Indy 5: This will be the best one yet.. WE PROMISE!! We're fixing EVERYTHING!
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I second the request for toning down the Crystal Skull hatred? I mean yeah it's not a particularly good movie but at its heart it still acts like a fucking Indiana Jones flick. And to have Indy actively "save the day" is completely out of character. The whole series has hinged on the fact that he's almost a bumbling idiot who has mostly booksmarts and gets by on luck. Devin over at CHUD wrote a great editorial about how modern day movie geeks are fucking idiot snobs who want everything to be mainstream while claiming otherwise. He's right, if Evil Dead were released today you fucking twits would hate it. I'd suggest you all read it but... what good would it do?
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that was my understanding at least, only immortal in the tomb where the knight was. Kinda makes the Grail useless though
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And actually leads him to the city of Atlantis, where every other person from a plane and ship that has disappeared in the area now resides. The Atlanteans won't let then leave. Now Indy will have to find a way to escape.
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STOP READING ANY MORE SPOILERS!!!! Seriously, by the time I went to see Indy 4, I knew it would be South America, I knew Marion would turn up, I knew there would be aliens, I knew they would go to the warehouse, I knew that Shia LeBoef was his son. All of these things would have been delightful to discover when I saw the movie. I know this because I watched it at home with my wife, and she was totally unspoiled, and and she had a GREAT time with it. So lesson learnt.
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my apologies...
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June 8, 2010, 11:10 a.m. CST
A real idea (no f'ing aliens): Indiana Jones and the Sword of Ki
by Yamato
Have Indy pursue the legendary sword of the equally legendary King Arthur. A Nazi-sympathizing pretender to the thrown of England wants the sword to become King. I know its lame, but it's still better than Indy IV
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...but I imagine it was much better if you went in unspoiled. And despite everything people are saying above, I still think Harrison Ford was great in it.
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Lucas, Spielberg, LaBoef<p> Or will "splash the plane" become the new "nuke the fridge."
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I actually take offense to the claims Ford "needed to be woken up" in IV. That is totally false. He was perhaps the only solid aspect in a disappointing film. As someone who has been watching him on screen since 1977, I saw nothing tired about his performance in IV. I doubt you did either, you're merely lumping his performance in with your overall disappointment in the movie. Ford is sleepy OFF screen, not on. I hope V goes forward and this whole team gets a chance to redeem themselves. But a new screenwriter, and maybe a new director, are needed.
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Just keep Indy away from lead-lined fridges, Mutt away from monkeys, and George away from the script.
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Let's see it happen here.
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I only had to read that to know this is bollocks. George wouldn't put his name to something that isn't filled with CGI wankage. He'll probably want to make it 3D too.
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So that Indy 6 is in the present day... That's bloddy fucking brilliant. Now throw in a visual reference to ET somewhere too, maybe one of them is on the mothership, and we will have successfully linked Close Encounters, ET, the Star Wars Saga, and the Indiana Jones stories into the same universe. Amazing.
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... there's no snobbery in that. IMHO, YMMV.
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Something that I noticed is that the first 3 films dealt with spiritual issues, while KOTCS was more about science. I'd rather this one go back to the religious stuff. Much more interesting.
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The nuked fridge was fucking gold. Everybody fucking hates that shit but nobody hates people safely flying a rubber raft out of an airplane and then falling a thousand feet over a waterfall. You guys just DO NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!
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June 8, 2010, 11:15 a.m. CST
YOU KILLED MY LOVE FOR INDY
by ISleptWithKathyBatesAndAllThatIGotWasThisStupidTalkbackName
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Incontinence. <p> No, but really, is this needed?
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He was the talent on the last film.
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Just reboot the whole damn thing. Recast it, send it back to the 30s, bring back the Nazis. Hell, why not? Sawyer from LOST as Indy!
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No, seriously. The dude's got acting chops, and it's not his fault Speilberg and Lucas didn't use him to their advantage. I know Connery's retired, but imagine if they could get em' all back for the finale. 3 generations of Jones'. Pretty cool if they did it right.
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That's the only way the Indiana Jones franchise can be truly redeemed.
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Arts and Entertainment: 04-474-0067; 04-474-0350; news@dompost.co.nz International dailing code for NZ is 64.........give em a call Merrick...see if there is a real person to take credit for that Indy 5 ink.
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You know it's coming...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIG4u5z7_54
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My take on this (maybe I am wrong) is that the grail would prevent you from aging but you needed to drink from it every day. The knight guarding the grail occasionally left but then kept having a change of heart and would go back and the lapse in drinking aged him... but... I guess maybe drinking fixes whatever other problem you have at the time but doesn't guarantee immunity from future issues. But, I haven't seen the movie since its initial release.
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June 8, 2010, 11:21 a.m. CST
Y'know, I have rewatched Crystal Skull
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
There are terrible scenes(Monkey swinging, snake quicksand bit and a couple of others) but it does seem to fit a little better. Raiders is perfection, and I am one of the few who highly regards Temple of Doom. Yet when you compare it to the goofy highjinks of Last Crusade, it's pretty similar. <p> It is, however, much less adept with it's goofiness. Last Crusade had Connery going for it. The interplay and chemistry between him an Ford allowed you to look over it's faults. <p> So I guess, even though it still rates last in my Indy films, after a couple of more viewings I am getting a better view of where it sits. <p> I guess it all comes down to the fact that at it's worst it's still better than the entire Mummy trilogy, and at it's best we get to see Indy take punches Indy-style whilst surrounded by flesh-eating ants, only held at bay by a mystical Crystal Skull. <p> Let the insults fly people... I'm a big boy. I can take it.
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So... it WASN'T a matter of pride for them when they made IV?
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All logical people have made that argument. It's entirely accurate and yet, these people won't think about the old Indys in thatway. They refuse to see that scene as proposterous for sone reason. Indian guys ripping out still bleeding hearts? Gold. Nukes fridges? The death of a series. They are illogical fcktards. You won't convince anyone except the people who already get it. I agree tho, these people make zero sense
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Who was that ridiculous love interest the last time?
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I never thought I'd say this, but damned good idea. Well, close (not perfect), but I totally forgot about the Atlantis thing. Good call, dude.
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Too obvious?
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You know, I could forgive that if the rest of it weren't such a piece of shit. Fucking swinging CGI monkeys?!?!? Marion's character becoming next to worthless?!?!? I could go on and on, but what's the point? The last one sucked. Plain old sucked.
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I'm feelin' ya.
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June 8, 2010, 11:24 a.m. CST
Also, I don't have a problem with the fridge scene
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
and my favorite image of that year was Indiana Jones in front of a mushroom cloud...
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That character was definitely NOT the Marion Ravenwood we all love.
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although, Lucas is fucking obsessed with CGI, so I'll just stick to the original 3.
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I thought we wanted to get the stench of other bad productions outta the equation? Last thing I wanna do everytime I see Indy is wait for the purgatory non-explanation.
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It will be interesting to see what happens since Shia criticized Steven in public. And taken a dump on Indy 4.
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I'm all for more indy (damn, i wish they continued to make these through the 90's) but i really want to see a few things<P>1)bring back sallah<P>2)limit shia, have him be a sidekick and not a plot point<P>3)make the item in question something religious or spiritual rather then something cosmic. I in no way hated the aliens at the end of KOtCS but i can't say i in any way loved them either, stick with something like the spear of destiny and you'll do fine
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I like that quote.
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Still one of the best games ever.
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Fuck Spielberg and Lucas. Haven't those two fucked us in the ass enough? Don't you two money grubbing fucking cockroaches have enough BILLIONS?!? You can't take that cash with you when you both die, hopefully soon, and go to Hell. So why not spend the last remaining moments of your fucking lives trying to create some quality cinema.<br> <br>These fucking asswipes could have created a Roger Corman style company that could have sheparded the next generation of moviemakers but, instead, they use their money and power to produce fucking garbage like the Star Wars prequels and Transformers.<br> <br>The sooner these two are dead the better and then, maybe, cinema will be able to recover from the damage they have done.
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... "raft over waterfall." Both scenes were brain-numbingly stupid.
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Didn't Spielberg say he wanted to create an immersive environment like Pandora, complete with strange peoples and flora and fauna? And Lucas must also be chomping at the bit to make a 3D film. Indy going to Atlantis via the Bermuda Triangle would allow them that. Indy would also find all the planes/ships that have gone missing and the crews...thus bumping into Abner Ravenwood!
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Even if you only want it for Raiders there is a wealthy of material there. I read everything up to Crystal Skull, then got bored. But for fans of the original trilogy (or even just Raiders) it is absolutely worth the price.
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search for a decent, fulfilling plot... I assume the swinging Shia + monkeys will be replaced by swimming Shia + Dolphins.
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Fuck you.
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You're not the only one that likes Temple of Doom. That movie is genius compared to TLC and KOTCS. Indy actually is instrumental in saving the day instead of getting captured, yet again.
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June 8, 2010, 11:41 a.m. CST
"this will be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way rather
by dasheight
Uh...They said they were going to shoot "Crystal Skull" in the old fashioned style, too. Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. I'm a HUGE Indiana Jones fan, but they're going to have to make a masterpiece to get the taste of crap out of my mouth after "Crystal Skull".
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A couple of weekends ago, Sunday Morning had a piece on fridges and talked about that scene (the "expert" actually had the exact model on hand, hahaha "yeah, it might survive..."). I was Sofa King disappointed with Indy 5. It had a bunch of Indy components, just not assembled into something with heart. <p> I'm afraid a plot involving the Bermuda Triangle will go all SciFi again, and hell, it might even involve more of the same aliens (i.e., their portal back to Earf [©W.S.]), etc. <p> Yeah, there's definitely something about the supernatural (and especially material from christian theology) that makes Indy really work.
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June 8, 2010, 11:44 a.m. CST
"...with Indy facing his biggest challenge yet": HIS FANS
by ricarleite2
Just keep GL and Spielberg the fuck away from this movie, and it will do just fine. Hire Kasdan and Kershner, the REAL geniuses behind those two.
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my impression was he still had something left in the tank. unfortunately crystal skull was just meh. what it lacked was a compelling psuedo mystical/religious macguffin. instead crystal skull became an albatross around the neck, it just didn't work for me. i hope to god this one works out better.
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June 8, 2010, 11:46 a.m. CST
Will they have alien..er I mean inter dimentional beings...
by kravmaguffin
Wait, how about time travel? That's a fresh under used idea... Here's a thought, let someone else write it. gfy
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What do they have in common over 2 and 4...Religious artifacts. Stop trying to do weird stuff and go back to some religious artifacts. Maybe the sword David used to cut off Goliath's head...maybe the cross Jesus was crucified on...
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Certain things are ridiculous & you can accept them, others... aren't. Bear in mind that this scene is preceded by Indy & co. following floating gun-powder(?) particles attracted to a magnetic source.
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The last 1/6 of the movie will be spent showing "flash-purgatory" scenes of Indiana and son in the afterlife.
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June 8, 2010, 11:52 a.m. CST
I'd be happy about this only if Lucas wasn't allowed near the sc
by Ecto-1
But having said that, after Kingdom of Crystal Skull, I doubt that there's anything that can get me excited about a new Indy movie. They ruined it THAT much.
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June 8, 2010, 11:52 a.m. CST
Holy fuck Jet is back... How we missed ye...
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
start spoutin some shit dude.... I'm in the mood for a laugh.
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Wikipedia entry for Dr. Jones Sr. didn't explain it at all.
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I actually didn't think Harrison Ford was the problem with the last movie. Let's just hope they don't 'nuck the fridge' this time. Old age isn't kind to some directors and their sense of story, I guess.
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June 8, 2010, 11:53 a.m. CST
This looks like being an emotional and exciting conclusion to th
by ObiBen
This is a quote from 1987, right?
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June 8, 2010, 11:53 a.m. CST
a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way rather than the CGI
by The Reluctant Austinite
That sounds kind of suspicious, since we were promised OVER and OVER last time that it would be an old fashioned effort, even bothering to use the same film stock used in the 1980s instead of digital photography. I don't think it's possible to make a blockbuster film in the current era without a lot of CGI. Lucas is certainly a fan of using CGI instead of spending money on expensive sets and difficult location work. I'm always game for another Indy adventure, or at least one last ride for the greatest adventure hero of all time, but I hope they deliver closer to what they promise this time. I was one of the lonely defenders of "The Crytstal Skull", knowing it was far from perfect but not quite total garbage either. I'd like to see a "Rocky Balboa" for Indiana Jones.
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June 8, 2010, 11:53 a.m. CST
I bet the villians are invaders from the 8th Dimension!
by Royston Lodge
But will it feature a young Buckaroo Banzai? ;-)
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We heard that the last time around. We still got CGI car chases, stunts, stuntmen and stuntmonkeys.
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No Kasdan, no Indy 5. Somebody has to be able to tell George that SOME of his ideas are ass. Spielberg is George's puppet. Always has been, always will be.
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his stupid faux "details" aren't even funny for this. The whoel idea of another Indy just stinks. I hope this is BS.
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June 8, 2010, 11:57 a.m. CST
"Drinks at Fountain of Youth, turns into Nathan Fillion"
by SkidMarkedUndies
This would beat Avatar's box office record HANDS DOWN!
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"his will be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way rather than the CGI efforts of the last movie" That's exactly what they said about KotCS! As long as Lucas is involved, he will try to squeeze in as much crap CGI! I have no desire to see this, Indy will probably wind up being the person that finds the missing WWII planes and the ship that pops up in the desert from Close Encounters, then he'll be beamed up to the mother ship to shake hands with Richard Dreyfus!
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will ever be creatively involved in a decent film ever again. It seem doubtful at this point.
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June 8, 2010, 11:59 a.m. CST
MyScreenplayWasRejected.... It's funny,
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
I can freely admit that Raiders is a far better film. <p> But Temple of Doom is Waaaay more fun. Aside from the brilliant Willy/Indy Palace seduction scene, the best kid sidekick ever, beautifully choreographed pulp-style setpieces, and possibly the greatest last 25 minutes of film ever you are right. <p> It is the only Indy movie where he makes the heroic choice. He chooses to save the kids and the villagers and in doing so truly comes alive as an action hero.
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Talkback of fake titles that can ramble on for days. Oh, how I miss those days of late 2006 and early 2007, sometimes. Before the "dark times." Before the release of KOTCS. <p> Indy 5: Nuke the Triangle!
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Someone please tell George he is a horrible fucking writer...no one who works for him or with him has the stones to say this, but I feel like a family member could..just tell him he sucks at it and he needs to stop...and it'll be okay, because he still has 90 trillion dollars...which he can use to, you know, hire someone to write shit for him...
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I am here on the set of Batman 3 (filming is taking place in secret for a surprise July 2010 release as confirmed by AICN a few weeks ago) and beg to differ with the information you provided. Firstly, the provisional title is actually, "Indiana Jones and the Eternal Horseshit of JettL1993". Secondly, Michael Sheen is not being looked at for the villain's role. We are currently considering both Lady Gaga and Russell Crowe.
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"but this will be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way" They said the exact same thing before making the fourth one. We all know how it turned out...
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So this makes sense.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkCNbvq6ORw
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June 8, 2010, 12:10 p.m. CST
If they dovetailed this with Close Encounters...
by Lionel_Richies_Hipster_Frames
...it would be pretty fucking amazing. That said, that won't happen. George Lucas is a fat bloated ass of a story teller now and he can't get out of his own way. Spielberg is no better having signed off on the last crapfest. The fact that they are keeping Shia in this series makes it even more cringe worthy. They should quit. Harrison is old and the two beards have lost their fastball for this kind of movie. We don't need another one. We don't need another movie to attempt to justify the awful Crystal Skull. As it stands now, fans regard Crystal Skull as something separate from the first three films. They should be happy about that. Although the mere idea of Indy being taken by the aliens in close encounters and you see him walk down the ramp when the ship returns at the end of Close Encounters is pretty fucking amazing to even dream of. Hence, they would never do that. I don't think Spielberg has the balls to touch his masterpiece in that fashion after the outrage over taking out the guns in E.T.
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"Oh, Marion. You had to go and get yourself captured." That's some cracking fucking dialogue right there. The acting was shit, the script was shit, the lighting was shit, the CGI was shit, and even Johnny Williams' score was forgettable shit. Disappointing all around. I seem to remember them making this "no CGI" claim in the months before production on KOTCS ramped up, too. Not buying it.
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Fire his sorry ass and replace him if you must with fucking anyone else!
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Indy going into a nursing home in the Bermuda triangle and never going on the screen again. this really doesnt need to be made. Spielberg is becoming as big a hack as Lucas.
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June 8, 2010, 12:13 p.m. CST
My final thought.. by Nomoredirtyjokespleasewe...
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
As an Australian I guess this is odd to say(not to mention off by about a year or two but.... <p> Jesus christ I can't believe that Sarah Wolf-shootin Russian-backyard-seein Fox-News-reportin stupid-is-as-stupid-does'n Palin, almost became the most powerful woman on Earth. Fuck you America. Peace.....
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I liked Indy 4 and more Indy is good news to me.
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LMAO!!! He's ba-aack!
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June 8, 2010, 12:15 p.m. CST
dammit, hope my lack of a ) doesn't make me a chump
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
it probably does though.
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And I was hopeful for a moment.
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Give it a rest, anachronisms.
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It was the Commie Cubans and Ruskies using a MAGIC BULLET from Atlantis!!!
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But he DOES get some revenge, American style.
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and the dead man's chest.
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"Indy 5 may be a REBOOT" was what I meant.
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And a friend of mine borrowed it. He showed it to JettL1993 and he doused it with gasoline and set it on fire before vowing to tell everyone he did so. truth
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although this possibility was mentioned in connection with the last film, it could be done here as the reverse of the Simpsons eipsode: Indy passes into 2D land. Looks like a Southpark character. Film ends with Lucas taking a shit on camera and Divine eating it.
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America trying to reach Atlantis via the Bermuda Triangle to harness its power and jumpstart Hitler's brain in a robot body. Indy saves the day.
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And lives throughout the 1970's... he meets back up with an old War buddy up in the northeast. <p> His name? CAPTAIN QUINT. <p> We've now tied Close Encounters, ET, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and JAWS together into one universe.
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its funny seeing everyone bitch and moan about that for two reasons. one being the movie has way less then they realize and second, its 2010 so of course it'll be used. hearing them whine about CGI makes me think this is probably what the old foggies of the 70s/80s sounded like when they complained they didnt use models on strings anymore.
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Hi, I'm really a Sci-Fi fan and I really like these "aliens already visited ancient earth" movies like Stargate, but Indy 4 was really bad, but just because of the plot and some gags. Going back in time so that Indy could altere the 4th movie would be the best possible plot for 5th movie! I don't care about the grandfather/indy paradox! :D
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June 8, 2010, 12:26 p.m. CST
"this will be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way...
by AsimovLives
... rather than the CGI efforts of the last movie"<br><br>That's what they said before. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.<br><br>Indy is dead, guys,a nd it's about time you start to accept that. It hurts (boy, do i know it), but that's how it is. Better accept this now then to get hurt and have your childhood's ass raped again.
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It's UFOs/martians/aliens all over again. Screw this shit.
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And is part of a team sent out to recover Captain One-Eyed Willie's pirate ship, which mysteriously set off into the Pacific ocean on its own accord.
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That the Ruskies recovered from some mystical site. You know this to be true. Indy was too late in stopping them.
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When Indy 4 was released, AICN praised the fact that Harrison Ford finally appeared to be awake again. (The fact that Ford "showed up" was even the main topic of Moriarty's review.) Yet now everyone that writes an article about Indy 4 feels obliged to complain about Ford's "sleepwalking". Do people really think he looked bored in that film? Did everyone just forget about what that actually looks like? (see: Hollywood Homicide, K19, Random Hearts) Hell, even Ford's interviews for Indy 4 featured him more enthusiastic than he'd been in over a decade.
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Yes, all bullets are "magic" when you ignore the change in trajectory caused by contact with moving flesh and bone and ascribe it to a change in mid-air. LMAO!
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Of The Ginormous Oil Slick". Sticking to a theatre near you in 2011.
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June 8, 2010, 12:34 p.m. CST
Spielberg seems to be driven by money and nothing else.
by Knuckleduster
Sad.
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You know, when I was a kid, I didn't get that reference. Now that I do I wonder what the hell a penis reference was doing in a kid's movie.
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Lieutenant Throbbin' Shaft?
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The hairy Nutt brothers!
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When you've got a magic bullet made from shards of Thor's hammer.
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In the gaping, wet hole!
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After the events of Crystal Skull but before getting sucked into the Bermuda Triangle, Indy ends up in China where, while trying to recover some ancient relics, he accidentally unleashes some ancient creatures called "Mogwai".<p> He and an older Short Round successfully fight them off and destroy all but one unmutated mogwai. Short Round then relocates to Chinatown in America and takes the mogwai with him, and he opens up his own trinket shop and lives peacefully for the next 30 years until his dumb grandson sells the mogwai to an idiot American father...
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Had a lot of glistening pearls that he deposited in the treasure box. ;-)
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You guys always respond to this crap stain, and as a result give him exactly what he wants: Attention. Stop feeding him and he'll go away.
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From Grabthar?
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of why Temple of Doom is so great!
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Lucas never created anything in his life. But he sure stole like a motherfucker.
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In our reality it was alot of folks who enjoy running your world the way they want to. They don't even care that you are alive except to pay them taxes. They'll chop your head off on the internet just to make you look the other direction while they stick it further up your ass. As for Indy- this will be Atlantis in the Bermuda triangle.
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The stones in Temple of Doom were religious too. <p> Temple of Doom is better than The Last Crusade and Crystal Skull is equal to TLC.
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I was gonna argue Raiders ending vs. ToD's ending, but I guess you're right there, NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks.
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Named Doc Brown. He'll have to go to Doc to get some information on a renegade scientist being used by the Ruskies for their nefarious plans.
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Butters and Morgan Freeman join Indy in the greatest Jones adventure yet.
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JettL1993 is a sad loser. That's the one I use the most. Seriously, dude, what is wrong with you?
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Not fucking likely.
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I would say: one. <p> Raiders of the Lost Ark. <p> Why do people have high expectations of a franchise that has delivered one great movie and three weak movies?
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Shia and I share walkietalkies we bought at Walmart so what he told me last Sunday is that they will all be back! Including The Ox. Marion's cameo is only at the beginning though. She is at the house when Indy and Shia leave to go on a father/son bonding trip -a deep sea fishing expedition to the Atlantic. She waves goodbye with a big grin as they drive away then she goes back to hanging out the washing. In this fishing boat trip, Indy and Mutt are caught in a giant storm, which sweeps them over the Devil's Triangle, over a maelstrom. Due to his age, Indy falls off the boat into this maelstrom. Shia tries to save him with a giant rubber snake but it is no use, he doesn't call it a rope so Indy doesn't grab it. Mutt then has to jump in a save the old man (mussing up his hair )and they get sucked in to the underwater city of Atlantis videogame, now with added mermaids (since mermaids are very in these days and are hot). If you use this call me Anonymous Internet Reviewer/Shia's Psychic Friend. Thanks geeks!
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Fuck. Ing. Loser.
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Indifference
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Two good - ToD and TLC. One shittastic - KotCS.
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Imagine what a *good* Indy film could make these days...
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Yes. It may even be better. Spielberg felt he had to "apologize" for ToD so he made TLC and took no fucking risks and made a cookie cutter, by the books, generic Indy movie.
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Me go see it. That's what.
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has one working joint.
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the first two. I'm one of the few who hold ToD slightly below Raiders.
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Mutt the leather boy.
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But it the cookie cutter they used was Raiders and that ain't too bad. Sure, they didn't take a lot of chances (unlike ToD which was a departure from the original formula), but I'm never gonna NOT love TLC. Apologize for ToD?!?!? If that's true, WTF!!! (Do you mean the "violence" and the creation of the PG-13 rating?)
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he was the one that made empire and raiders click storywise. they both had this philadelphia story/my girl friday zest and verve between han/leia and indy/marion. that's what made those movies great imo. the issue isn't if harrison is awake, let's wake up lawrence dammit.
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I ain't your "dear." Secondly, your monicker says it all. You're a fucking retarded seventeen year old moron jerking off on thinking your shit is funny or that anybody falls for it. Anybody who works in film (and I happen to know a few) knows that you're an idiot and a fucking liar. Can't you just find some internet porn?
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I swears, when Padme was giving that "thunderous applause" speech in III. Pause it.
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The ultimate pulp Indy adventure with Indy's most dynamic, heroic moments. It's greatness cannot be denied.
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Along with Shane Black and Goldman. I'd watch something Kasdan scribbled on fucking toilet paper. In fact, just watched "Continental Divide" and "Grand Canyon" again like two days ago.
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I Just made my sister finally watch Raiders for the first time last week, she had only seen Crystal Skull, like most people she thought CS was a pos. I had to spend 10 minutes convincing her that Raiders was 10000000x better then Crystal, she caved. 15 minutes in she told me she loved it. The first scene with Marion, she said it was one of her favourite movies. I truly believe that Indy 5 could be a great film. Spielberg knows Indy 4 sucked, he won't fuck it up again.
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He feeds on it.
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money in the bank.
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June 8, 2010, 12:55 p.m. CST
Indy also discovered one of the tripods from War of the Worlds
by D.Vader
But the aliens wiped his memory before he could publish his findings.
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the female lead came of bitchy and not sassy like marion.
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Then I know we're on the right track.
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Body Heat, The Big Chill, Empire, Raiders - the man was fucking on fire in the early 80s. Unfortunately, he's later stuff ain't up to par with his earlier stuff.
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1+3 have both religious artifacts & Nazies trying to use them to take over the world. THAT's what makes for good Indy, a crazy assed Nazi trying to use the occult to take over the world and Indy stopping them
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1. If you combine Short Round and Willie Scott together into a single character, you get a sidekick who talks in a "hilarious" comedy foreigner English, screams all the time and gets the heroes into trouble needlessly. This character is called "Jar Jar Binks". <p> 2. I've always found it curious that many people regarded the aliens element of Crystal Skull as a ludicrous resolution whereas the existence of supernatural forces throughout the other three movies are deemed perfectly reasonable. Is this because the IJ universe has established a clear precedent for supernatural but not extraterrestrial? The X-Files, of course, bundled the two together into "paranormal", so both alien abductions and werewolves sat together happily in its world without anyone really questioning it, but maybe it's because they made clear early on that both would feature in the conceptual universe. It might have annoyed people had it been all ghosts and vampires for the first three seasons but suddenly aliens appeared in season four.
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Here I thought he ate donkey cock. My bad. ;-)
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Fuck, fuck, fuck. And YES! to Josh Holloway as a rebooted Indy. Shia needs to go to hell, quick.
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cos that's where Spielberg and Lucas disappeared. Well it seemed funny when I thought of it anyway.
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June 8, 2010, 1:01 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Generation that Doesn't Care About Him
by AzulTool
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...would play the rebooted Snake Plissken? <p> Not sure he'd work as Indy. Other suggestions?
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In KotCS, but I understand those who do. The previous artifacts had pseudo-religious fantasy overtones. Aliens are more s/f. Now, you can SAY they're all "fantasy," but that just means that you ignore the difference in TYPES of fantasy (s/f vs. magic). It's like introducing a time machine and cyborgs into LOTR. Sure, they're all "fantasy" in that they're "made up" but those s/f elements clearly don't belong as they're sort of tech based. Again, though, I just try to imagine the alien connection in KotCS as "new age" religion.
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I might be convinced to see that.
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So it does still have religious undertones.
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Maybe it'll feel like a real film this time and not some cartoon
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June 8, 2010, 1:04 p.m. CST
Raiders is a perfect movie, who gives a shit these others?
by CRISPIN_GLOVERS_ACID_FLASHBACK
I dig Temple of Doom and Last Crusade, but as long as they never go back and retouch Raiders for a "special edition" who cares what bullshit these guys do to give themselves another fat paycheck?
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In amongst all the mess, there's actually quite a good film trying to get out. <P>Its just a shame David Koepp was handed writing duties.
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just take a pill that makes you forget raiders. So you could watch it again.
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Spielberg was on a fucking drip and Lucas was D.O.A.
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why it is that people don't object more frequently to aliens and ghosts being bundled together as "paranormal", and treated as different subsets of that conceptual category. <p> They seem quite different to me. Aliens can exist quite happily in a physicalist, materialist narrative universe, whereas ghosts suggest some kind of Cartesian dualism, some realm "beyond the physical".
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Doesn't end in a fucking church before he walks into the light. Fuck, I hated that Lost ending! I feel like Belushi in fucking "Animal House." Six years of television down the drain!<p>What the fuck happened to the Lost I used to know? Where's the scientific explanation? Where's the great ending, huh? This could have been the greatest show of all time, but they let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go to write a proper ending. We can't figure it out." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Lindelof, he's a dead man! Cuse, dead! Abrams...
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YEAH right.
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It's a reference to Jett Lucas, George's son born in 1993.<P> How late am I to the party?
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Let's save it for the LOST talkbacks, not Indy Jones.
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But that's okay, bc you know what Jack Slater would say in a situation like this.
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Follow Indy and his son Mutt as they uncover who built the statue with the four toes.
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...and Shia acquires the fedora. Being that this IS the mysterious Bermuda Triangle, it's par for the course to have Indy die without really dying, which gives them the big emotional climax while leaving Indy's ultimate fate open ended a-la Flynn in Tron Legacy. Yawn.
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and indy is just a young high school lad hanging out with all his chums
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June 8, 2010, 1:14 p.m. CST
Also, does Indy exist in a world where the Christians were right
by Kaitain
Raiders gives us a story that says, "the ancient Judaic texts are true". Basically, the God of the Old Testament is real, and he's a scary bastard to boot. This would mean that both the Jews and the Christians could be right in their beliefs. And the muslims as well, I assume, although I'm not a scholar of Islam so someone might be able to put me straight. <p> But Last Crusade essentially says, "...and by the way, it's the Christians who are right, not the Jews". Unless (again), maybe an Islamic outlook could accommodate Last Crusade as well? <p> Maybe there could be another movie in which Indy encounters some Islamic artefact or other that shows that the muslims had it right all along and that Islam trumps both Judaism and Christianity. Although then we'd have thousands of people decrying the movie as blasphemous, working themselves up into a state of anger for the sheer thrill of it and hitting the posters with their shoes, like five year old children seeking attention.
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You got it spot on. David Koepp is spotty at best. The only script he's written that I enjoy is Jurassic Park. Darabont's draft for Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods (despite being a first draft more or less) was loads better than what we got.
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D. Vader, I know that. I even kinda said that. But so what? If they worshipped a time machine with a cyborg intelligence from the future that still is a s/f element simply cloaked in religious overtones to meet the "Indy criteria" of historical religion.<p>And, to be quite honest, I could've bought an Indy discovery of Vikings as Quetzacoatl a lot more than aliens. (Wasn't there a story like this? I seem to remember something. A comic book tale?) This alien shit is a Johnny-come-lately addition by New Agers to perfectly acceptable religious myths.<p>Kaitain, I guess the difference is that one doesn't need technology (future, alien) for ghosts and angels and shit. Aliens and cyborgs and spaceships and time machines require the addition of technology to the mix. Ghosts and arks and magic stones are magical creations that simply "exist" in the human collective. I mean, look, Raiders never posited (did it?) an alien/future tech explanation for the power of the ark, not Temple of Doom something similar for the stones, nor TLC for the Grail.
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I celebrate all the Indy movies with relish! As I will # 5.
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Agreed.
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Hal Barwood's game was far much better than Indy IV
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Drinking from the grail once didn't make anyone immortal. Drinking from the grail restored your youth and health, but it didn't stop the aging process. <br /> <br /> In order to remain immortal, one would have to drink from the grail continuously in order to regain youth lost to a normal aging process. For example, let's say you're 65 years old, you drink from the grail and then become 30 years younger. Drinking from the grail and becoming younger wouldn't stop you from aging to 65 years old again. Thus, in order to be immortal, you drink from the grail, grow old normally, then drink from the grail again, grow normally, etc.<br /> <br /> The problem is the grail couldn't pass the seal in the tomb. Therefore, the only way you could stay immortal was to stay in the tomb where you would have access to the grail.
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Can a world not exist where ALL these (and the Sankara stones) are "right?" In fact, the Muslim religion goes so far as to acknowledge the "prophet-dom" of Moses and Jesus. Prophets do magical stuff (fire from heaven, staffs into snakes, etc.) so...
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Go on, SpieLuca$...Grab your jar of Vaseline and give poor Indiana another tag-team go while he's bent over the Ark of the Covenant. Bastards.
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introducing Megan Fox
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I forgot to mention that back in the 30's Indy was friends with Captain Witwicky. He studied the All Spark for its archaeological values and clues into the culture that built it before Roosevelt and his engineers and scientists decided to bury it under the Hoover Damn with Sector 7.
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Well fucking said, dude. Keep those fuckers away from any Special (Ed) Editions.
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Buddhism is "right" as well as even Buddhism acknowledges the Buddha-hood of other religion's founders. They just claim that their teachings have been perverted by men.
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I don't even know if that's a good fit, I just wanted to give Vince some love after last week's awesome Breaking Bad. Run!
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...we'll have the opposite of the Star Trek movies. The odd numbered ones will be worth watching. IF it winds up being good that is.
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Must be my subby-concious talkin... YAWWWWWN!
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Breaking Bad was great. Can't wait till Sunday then a whole lotta depression till next season. I'm scared shitless of "Persons Unknown." I'll watch, but I ain't gonna invest too much for fear of the inevitable let-down or cancellation.
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I want so much to talk some shit about someone. So, so very much. Must. Take. Advice. Must. Ignore.
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You should get a black box here!!!! :) douchebag.
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...George's wattles and beard.
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It can be "Grumpy Old Man VS The Golden Girls: The Legend of Curly's Gold". Seriously, BOTH franchises are WAY played OUT...put them out of their (and our) misery.
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Though you've been a "writer" since the mid-80s? Which puts you in your fifties? Quite the career change, Lord Douchebag. Say, I hear starting your car in the garage and sitting in it while breathing deeply is good for helping you compose. You should try it.
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June 8, 2010, 1:36 p.m. CST
I ALSO THINK TEMPLE OF DOOM SUCKS BEYOND THE SHANGHAI/RAIL CAR S
by Darth Busey
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Based on the overwhelming negative response and the feeling that Harrison Ford was just too old for the part. After catching it recently, I didn't think it was too bad. None of the sequels are as good as the original, and aliens and fridge-nuking are no less plausible or in the spirit of the other movies than the religious or magical elements or outrageous stunt sequences from most of the other movies. It was just a little flat and didn't have enough amazing action sequences or genuinely funny moments as the others - correct those problems and I'd watch another. Oh and it's true that most of the other movies involve Indy bumbling into trouble and getting out by the skin of his teeth. But he does need to punch a lot of baddies in the face also.
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Maybe Roy Neary will be in the Mothership when they get there...will he have aged, or be like those WWII pilots and've retained his youthly appearance? They could always CG young Dreyfuss...oh...no CG this time, right? I guess they'll have to find a way to explain why Roy Neary would've aged. I kid, I kid - actually, it sounds like they all learned from the last movie what not to do with this one. Hopefully they can wipe the term "Flying The Fridge" off of the map with a good stunt-driven Indy movie.
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The thought of Harrison Ford doing stunts scares the fuck outta me.
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Take a bottle of sleeping pills when you do. It helps make some crazy connections in your brain when the carbon monoxide starts mixing.<p>Oh then do some auto-erotic asphyxiation at the same time. Your "composing" will be "out of this world" in no time.
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as all the other Indy movies. Ghost filled boxes that melt your face, Hindu brainwashing techniques, hearts being ripped out via magic, karate-kicking pre-teen sidekicks, immortal old men who live alone in caves guarding cups, all totally stupid. In a alot of ways, Crystal Skull was more reality based than Indy 1-3. Except maybe for the Tarzan monkeys. That was a bit much.
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If it has to do with the Bermuda Triangle. Just sayin. And Indy IV kicked ass regardless of the monkeys! I loved it! Fuck you haters!
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Even though this information is unconfirmed and is attributed to an unnamed "source," and even though we're provided absolutely no reason to suspect that this is anything other than completely random nonsense, it's important to keep a few things in mind.<p>First, "Stuff" is an "award winning web site." It won awards. So there's virtually no way Stuff would post unreliable information from an unconfirmed, anonymous source. Award winning web sites don't do that.<p>Secondly, while it could be completely false, it's important to remember that some things in the past have been 100% true. Therefore, there's no reason to suspect that this isn't also 100% true.<p>Third, here are some handy Amazon links which have virtually nothing to do with any of this except for the fact that some of the products have the name "Indiana Jones" in the title.
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Now, I'm excited!
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That would increase awesomery by a minimum of 82%.
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It's the CNN of like the whole planet.
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Nuke The Fridge is not some kind of replacable equivalant for Jump The Shark. Happy Days was a situation comedy based on the conventions of day-to-day reality. In the very first Indiana Jones movie there was a supernatural Ark and aparantly promotional artwork for a Nazi witha a transforming machine gun arm. You are just haters. Suck on it.
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If Christ was the son of god, clearly the Christians are right and the Jews, in denying the divinity of Christ, are wrong. Although I can't remember whether there is latitude in Last Crusade for having the grail exist, and Christ exist, but not be divine, but rather some uber-prophet. In any case, that would chime with Islam, but would it work with Judaism?
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Instead of that alien crap they came up with.
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<p>His scoops and insider info are what keep me coming back to this site.</p> <p>The fact that he gets some of you chumps so riled up is just a bonus.</p>
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Which takes place in China. Indiana Jones and Short Round fight off hordes of ancient creatures called Mogwai before destroying all but one that exists in its larvae stage. <p> Short Round then takes that one back to Chinatown and lives 30 peaceful years before his grandson sells it to a white man looking for a birthday present for his son.
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Couldn't you just leave the grail there and go back to the cave when you feel like it? And don't say the effects wear off when you leave the cave or Indy Sr. would have died when he left.
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In all fairness to fucknut, I think this chick is trying to get a quick buck.....http://tinyurl.com/32ahxdn
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JettL has never led us astray, and he's putting himself on the line...for us!<p>You still da man JettL!<p>Oh, me and Chris E. are still waiting on our coffee, mind hurring up? Thanks Jett!<p>Pill Lo
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If you are, then so am I!
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Mutt Jones and the Quest for the Lost Gravitas Mutt Jones and the Cynical Grasping for Money
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"you-know-what" with the "thing" that'll happen in Batman 3.
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Whatever happened to your big surprise scoop that Inception is really Batman 3 and that Leo is The Mad Hatter?
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Is that the second biggest star of the first three movies was the period. The 1930s are just fucking awesome as a setting for pulp adventure fiction. It was the last time when a certain privileged subset of society could basically travel anywhere in the world, and where the inequities of imperial colonies did have the upside for said elite group of putting glamorous, accessible nodes of western civilization all over the world. And all this set against a backdrop of rising danger and tensions in Europe and the Pacific. For any western playboy type, the 30s must have been an extraordinary time. <p> Crystal Skull doesn't have this, and so it just doesn't feel like Indiana Jones to me, not in the way the first three movies do.
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I think I liked the series in this order:<p> Raiders<p> Temple<p> Crusade<p> I didn't see Crystal Skull. When I saw Last Crusade, I didn't feel any concern for what I was seeing for whatever reason. In the sacrifice scene in Doom, my heart was thumping a lot (but, I was also much younger...) and I heard people literally gasping around me when Mola Ram tries to get Indy's heart at the end. Really. Like "GASP!" sounds. Although, I didn't like the feast scene as it was too ridiculous and over the top to me. And it seems like IJ movies have to have a scene somewhere in them where there are a swarm of unpleasant critters. Snakes in #1, bugs in #2, rats in #3. I guess ants in #4? I only read about it. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing but... well, maybe it has. Although that's just me. The presence of Temple makes IJ's character in Raiders more difficult to justify though. I mean, he more or less experiences supernatural mystical stuff with the Sankara stones, so he's more aware of real powers of things like this but then he's back to being skeptical at the beginning of Raiders. Not that I can really complain about it as the character change in Raiders is more interesting to me than it would be if IJ already believed the ark were dangerous and powerful. No, I don't have much of a point.
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lol, CG effects are great, IF used right. But I'm liking the old fashioned stuff. Awesome. Mutt should get killed off. Shia blows. Hope he won't be in it at all.
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JettL1993 may well be delusional to the point that he actually believes all the things he says, but telling him to gas himself or down a bottle of pills is out of line. And after all, I seem to remember you got your ass shamed by Revenge of the Fett - you didn't believe he was a writer and he made you look like an ass.
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Or give it to JJ!
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mistake they did with Crystal Skull. A firm rule is not to mix the fantastic. You don't have Frodo being saved by time travelers with lasers poking out Sauron's eye. You don't have Harry Potter fly in on a broom to save Dave from HAL 9000. So why do you have Indy who has faced God's Wrath with the Ark, fought Kali worshippers, and found the Holy Grail suddenly put all that on the same level as interdimensional beings? It is mixing apples and carrots! And unless the Bermuda Triangle is caused by Dagon or Neptune's Temple, this sounds like the same sort of crap! Continuity dammit!
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book it.
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and wants Atlantian Power Crystals?
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who don't know the war's ended gotta make a show. Just Cause 2 style.
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...from MAD Magazine (always a reliable source of news.) http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2093/2517571276_14e3554a03_o.jpg
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June 8, 2010, 2:22 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Skinny Panted Hipsters of Williamsburg
by AzulTool
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Elvis & Indy: Escape from Whispering Pines!!
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Indiana Jones goes on a worldwide search to look for the keys to his truck.
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George Lucas reads it.
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...And The Bi-focals On A Chain
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I think it's perfectly "in line" to wanna help ol' Jett along with his composing. About as in line as the shit he posts here.<p>You've got to be kidding if you cut this guy anything like the slack of Revenge of Fett. But Revenge of Fett SHAMED me? LOL! Well, sir, I've read his script. Have you? I HIGHLY suggest you save your judgments until YOU'VE seen the work, 'kay? Know what I'm saying? Let's play nice and let sleeping dogs lie. ;-)
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.."He's-Not-Really-Rascist-It's-Just-The-Times-He-Grew-Up-In" Awkward Statement At Christmas Dinner. Too Long?
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sceptical
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And an aging Ford makes the passing of decades inevitable. Raiders is set in the 40s, so you have Nazis plus the fantastical myth of their fascination with black magic or religious artifacts. Temple, set earlier, reflects the Doc Savage/Tarzan vogue of lost civilizations and their barbaric rituals. Last Crusade, eh I can't remember much about it. But Crystal Skull had to be set in the 50s, which was dominated by fear of the Russkies and a fascination with nukes and aliens. Logically if the next is set a few years later, the popular myths would mean Indy is involved with either the Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot, Dracula or Werewolves. And personally I'm bored with all the religious artifact stuff anyway.
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Was Ray Winstone's character "Mac". <p> We did not have a history of him as a character. So when he double-crossed Indy at the beginning it really meant nothing to us. Then he was trying to act like it was a triple-cross and then turning into a quadruple-cross. WHAAAAAAT?!?!?! <p> We never saw Indy's war years. We had never met Mac before. He was basically a plot point to try to keep us guessing when really we didn't care and had no emotional attachment to his character. <p> Now had Sallah been the double-crosser we would have had that emotional response The Beards wanted us to have. <p> This 5th chapter needs to have Sallah, Short-round, Willie Scott, and any other former Indiana Jones supporting players that are still living.
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You still defending this guy, Kain? A "writer" who can't spell ARK but who "co-wrote" the script? Oooookay...
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If you only knew. LOL!
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Seriously, honest to God, not a bit. He's a good guy and he certainly worked hard on his script and put a lot of time into it. But SHAMED by him?!?!?! So, so, so funny.
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Callback to another thread.
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"I don't really know how to use Twitter. I'm just making this up as I Tweet."
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Bwahahaha! That's so funny, Jett. So original. So... writer-ly. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Spend hours at a typewriter slaving over that? Whoa. I am wounded to the core, sir. Truly you have pricked me ('cause you're such a little prick)! Honestly, dude, just make with the seppuku please.
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"Trolls! I hate trolls! Why did it have to be trolls? Anything, but trolls!"
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Last one sucked dirty balls.
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"Throw me the whip; I throw you the iPad!"
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With the whole "Red Scare," crackdown on the academics, protesting students thing, but it just came off as ham-handed. I'm sure that wasn't Jett's fault, of course. Probably a lesser writer's whim. Anyway, they made the attempt but it just seemed to forced.
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Emotionally, Beard of chuck Norris. Watching that scene in the beginning, I don't see any attempt to make us emotionally feel for Indy that he had been betrayed by his friend. It was just a plot point at that... uh, point, but it doesn't bother me.
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Not "to forced."
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Indy gotta eat sometime.
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His whole existence was like some sort of weird fucking monstrous appendage that was just sewn on to the body of the story. He was quite the suck. Kinda wished they'd gone the whole "Abner Ravenwood" route with the crazy dude, too.
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So we can go back and pretend Indy 4 never happens.
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Last I heard, he was taking over the directing duties on some of the reshoots. It's a worthy subject-matter, but this project sounds like a disaster.
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When was it exactly that you became the arbiter of what was appropriate on a talkback? I must've missed the vote that day. ;-)
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Don't want make an issue outta this, but you did prejudge him too harshly. Fett has written a script and from what I hear its not bad. You thought he made it all up just to give himself kudos...hey bro, we both know Jett talks out of his ass, but let him have his fun. For all we know he's 13 and from a broken home, he gets no attention. Telling him to gas himself was out of line, that's all.
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You don't want to admit it, to entertain the idea of another shitty usless Indy movie made only and only for the money. But in your hearts you know it to be true. Even the appologetics for Indy 4 Crystal Skullfuck sound too desperate to keep enthusiastic about another Indy movie of the same vein. It's going to be shit, and that's how it is. And you bloody hell know it. Admit it already and move on. Indy is dead.
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June 8, 2010, 2:51 p.m. CST
I'm glad film geeks realize how overrated and lackluster....
by Kal Reeve
Last Crusade truly is. The once upon a time love and nostalgia for it always baffled me.
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Please please please, make it good this time. A strong story, no boring static dialogue sequences that go on for ages explaining the plot, no CGI (especially no fake monkeys and terribly looking ants), and a good villain, like Bellock used to be!!!
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So we can all take a looksie? <p> Also, I don't like JettL or his schtick. Not funny.
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Indy wonders who keeps putting mothballs in his wardrobe.
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Indy wonders who put him one.
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Coincidentally, I was reading some of it over the weekend. It's a good read. You can feel a passion for film and entertainment in how SS and GL were hashing out the beginnings of a great character and story. I hope they can re-read it to get back that youthful energy.
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You reaction was what we all had. <p> I just guarantee you that the Beards wanted us to feel the betrayal with Indy. <p> None of us did. <p> Think if Sallah had been in the trunk with Indy and everything continued as KOTCS did. <p> We would have been devastated with that. Emotionally.
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Even he himself said he was shite in the last one fucks sake
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Did we know Sallah before we saw him in Raiders? How about Marion? You people really reach to hate these movies, don't you.
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Oh, wait, no...that was my grandpa.
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I think the Beard knows that no one is going to have an emotional connection to someone we just met 4 minutes ago. <p> If it was Sallah, YES, we'd be devastated emotionally, ad then that emotion would be immediately undercut by the action sequence that follows. In other words, we would not be given enough breathing room to react to such a betrayal, and an event like that would require a lot of room for us to react accordingly. <p> Which is why I really doubt Spiels wanted us to feel for Indy during that scene. He was surprised but immediately shoved it off to escape. If it was Sallah, that would not have been the case.
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...maybe she can drink Shia under the table in a Nepalese bar or something.
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that is all
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How was what I said a "reach"? Also I never did say I hated the film. I was extremely disappointed with it but do not hate it. I save that for Superman Returns and Spider-Man3. <p> Your examples are moot as those mentioned were good from the start and remained that way. Belloq was evil and remained that way. <p> We have a character introduced to us as Indy's friend and then within 2 minutes of meeting him we find out he's double-crossed Indy. Then later he tells Indy he's on his side only to double-cross him yet again. And we are to believe Indy fell for it... everytime. <p> The best betrayal in the Indy films was Walter Donovan's and Dr. Schneider's. <p> With Elsa we had attachment and then betrayal. We felt with the Jones boys as they had been duped.
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...this late in the series. But at least it's something different. And hey, Spielberg has had success their before.
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One of the most blandest actresses ever committed to film.
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You should drop the whole Fett thing. For real. Despite wishing that Jett would stick his head in a noose, I'm a pretty nice guy. The fact that I'm dancing around Fett should prove this to you. If not, I suggest that you request a copy of his script. As I said in that talkback, I *DID* think Fett was talking out of his ass, he sent me his script, I read it, and returned to that talkback to state unequivocally that Fett had produced a script. Now, if that's "shaming" me, you should definitely request a copy of that script just so you're REAL CLEAR on what you're saying. Know what I'm saying here?<p>I mean, I could claim to be a writer, right? (My wife actually is, by the way.) And tell you how hard it is, etc. And you could say that was bullshit and tell me to make with the script. And I could do that. But whether or not I shamed you would really depend on what I sent you. Get it?<p>Once again, so you know that I'm a nice guy, Revenge of Fett has indeed written a script. He put a lot of work into it and that's definitely to be commended. Is it "ready for prime time" or "professional quality?" No, but nobody's first effort is. Fett should keep at it, read lots of scripts (and books as well). If he keeps at it, I've no doubt that he could definitely sell something some day.<p>And now this is a poor analogy ('cause by no stretch is Fett's script like what I'm about to say), but I could claim to be an artist and send you a crayon sketch. That doesn't mean I've shamed you in any way. (Again, Fett's work is NOT a crayon sketch.) So, Fett did prove me wrong, but shame me? Uh... no.<p>Regarding Jett, I'm glad you're a forgive and forget kinda guy, but his shit is ridiculous and, broken home or daddy-diddling, it don't matter. If he's old enough to post on here, he's old enough to not be a douche. And if he acts like a douche, I treat him like a douche. I appreciate your particular moral codes. Seriously. But MY "line" ain't there. I understand that yours is, but mine ain't. That's all.
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I signed up just to say: Indy 5? Really? I didn't have to try hard to ban Indy4 from memory.
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June 8, 2010, 3:16 p.m. CST
Good stuff, D.Vader, but how would you link these in...
by letsfightinglove
Schindler's List(easy one)<br> Batteries Not Included<br> Hook<br> Saving Private Ryan(another easy one)<br> Munich<br> The Color Purple<br> AI<br> Minority Report<br> The Terminal<br> Amistad<br> Jurassic Park<br> <br> Keep 'em coming, dude.
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...some Pixar writers! They have the most perfect track record of anyone making films in the last 15 years, and they know how to tell a story with action, humour, tension, and for all audiences. Like Star Wars and Raiders were!
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I wish people would just shut the fuck up about Temple of Doom!, its a great Indy film, its the 2nd best behind Raiders imo and is about a million times better than Crystal Skull!. Anyway i hope they do go practical as much as they can and i also hope the film is more in tone with Raiders and Doom complete with real peril and violence.
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You're probably right. I probably shouldn't suggest that the idiot kill himself. But sometimes I type before I think.
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He goes from Indy's wartime buddy friend for life to double-crossing Indy, to saying he's really triple-crossing Ruskies to quadruple-crossing Indy, to he's dead.
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Bah.
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Leave it to Lucas' shitty script to absolutely kill their chemistry.
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Mark my words, since they cant use aliens given the uproar from crystal skull, the only other 'paranormal' element left to them is time travel, and it sets up a whole new series of movies with Shia Jones present day. It will suck, oh yes, it WILL suck.
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he wasn't awake. I seriously hope the further destruction of my childhood ceases when this movie is made. DO IT RIGHT LUCAS!! fucking do P90x or something Harrison, get some energy.. shit man
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Nom nom, Lucas gatta eat y'all!
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Ask Fett for a copy of the script. I've still got it here somewhere, but, you know, I don't wanna be emailing someone else's work around. That ain't exactly kosher. Let's see - it's about ninety pages, if memory serves. Definitely shows a lot of heart and desire. He should certainly be proud of the effort that he put into it. My wife just sold her first story to Harlequin and its number five on their ebook site (Carina Press) so I know what kind of work goes into knocking out those pages. It ain't easy and it takes a lot of perseverance. Like I said, Fett should keep on keepin' on, constantly putting out the pages, and constantly trying to improve those pages. And read, read, read, read scripts! Everybody's scripts! All kinds by different writers!<p>Just found out that both Raymond Chandler AND Hunter S. Thompson BOTH learned to write by copying the writers that they respected and those guys ain't slouches!
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I'm glad we part on good terms.
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I see your point concerning remaining spoiler free. Then again, all the things you mentioned were in the trailers. South America/the warehouse/Marion were all in the previews. Now that I think about it.....it's pretty funny how coy they were about Marion in the film itself. It was clearly meant to be some type of big surprise reveal, but, SHE WAS IN BOTH OF THE TRAILERS.
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mmm. Denny's.
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;-) I try not to be the douche and, as you'll note here and in the Fett talkback, I admit when I'm wrong. I'm too fucking old to still play like I'm always right. That shit gets tiring. Just apologize and move on, right?
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In 2012, the shit... will... fly!
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But says it great in the trailer..
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That phrase always kills me!
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Can we actually have Indy shoot his gun in this?, can we have Indy diving around trucks and brutally hitting people in this instead os Shia doing most of the action. If you watch back Crystall Skull you will see that the very short fight scene with the big Russian in the jungle is almost the only action that Indy does in the film!, i know Ford isn't getting any younger but he's a fit guy and age never stopped John Wayne and the other classic male leads!.
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I don't even hate the guy (he made disturbia a good movie) but he doesn't belong in these movies. It worked with Connery cause Sean Connery is a motherfucking pimp. If Indy needs a pal for this movie, bring back Shortround.
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Shia: "No time for fun Docta Jones! We got trouble!"
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it didnt feel grand like the other three, there were hardly any real locations & it felt like it was all on a stage (which it more or less was) plus it had a really awful baddie compared to the others. For the next one, Id of not minded something supernatural, the "Find Your Fate" book: Indiana Jones and the Cup of the Vampire was cool !
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Talk about science fiction.
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Who knew old people could eat that much at midnight?
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Spielberg is a pretty dull director these days. Get Cameron in and spielberg and Lucas to write. Holy shit!
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Didn't you know?
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Indy says adieu like Mark Wahlberg in The Perfect Storm.
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They left that part out of the Young Indiana Jones series. When he was in London, he ended up flying alongside Peter Pan to Neverland and fought against Captain Hook. In fact, Indy was there when Pan lopped off Hook's hand. <p> Growing up, Indy forgot about Neverland and thought his memory of that place was just a dream. He was friends/neighbors with JM Barrie during his time in London and assumed he had heard the Pan story from him, when in reality, it was actually the other way around...
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Which is just another way of saying cruise ship.
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Indy fought alongside Captain Miller in North Africa during the early years of World War II. They bonded over both being teachers back in the states. Captain Miller is then assigned to the D-Day landing at Normandy while Indy is recruited by OSS to work as a double agent in Europe alongside Mac.
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And he's on Pacific Standard Time.
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Indy grew up and went to school alongside one John Hammond, who had a greater interest in paleontology than he did archaeology. Still, Indy would send chunks of amber that he found on his travels and expeditions around the world back to Hammond, though he never quite understood Hammond's need for it...
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No it isn't. It's set in 1936. The first three movies are all set in the 30s. Temple of Doom is 1935, Last Crusade is 1938. None of them are set during wartime; the Nazis are in power in Germany and the shadow of war hovers over everything, but, crucially, all the borders are still open.
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June 8, 2010, 3:39 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE ICE SCULPTURE FISH
by BringingSexyBack
They're works of art that melt before your eyes. Totally fucking existential.
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The solution is to plug Shia's head into the gusher.
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I rank the movies as Raiders, Kingdom, Last Crusade, and Temple of Doom. Fuck you haters. You are just out of touch with Indiana Jones movies.
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According to Wikipedia, the Amistad was sold and renamed and continued to be a shipping vessel for many years under the name Ion. <p> After selling the Ion in Guadalupe in 1844, the ship is lost to history. <p> Who finds it? That's right: Indiana Jones.
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Just before Indiana Jones dies, he places his Katra into his son. Shia and Marion and Sallah must travel to an island called Genesis to revive Indiana Jones.
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1) All this apologizing has got me singing fucking kumbayah, Kain! ;-)<p>2) Fett should get his ass on here and make with the script. We've teased the shit out of it for him!
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Indy: "So long, Danielle!" <P> Danielle (Laughing): "Goodbye, Dr. Jones ..." <P> Waves to pilot, who happens to be Danny.
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Indy: "So ... you're married." <P> Summer: "Yeah. Crazy, huh?" <P> Indy: *Dives into snake pit*
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Mola Ram, prepare to meet Kali...IN THE BREAKROOM!
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"I rank the movies as Raiders, Kingdom, Last Crusade, and Temple of Doom." What the fuck can you even say to that? Seriously. What. The. Fuck.<p>Honestly, swinging fucking CGI monkeys is number two? How can one even argue with that?
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Have you ever heard the rumor that ol' Cinque returned to Africa and became a slave trader himself - http://www.africawithin.com/bios/joseph_cinque.htm? If so, what a fucking douche.
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(500) Days of Summer <br> Temple of Doom <br> Raiders <br> Last Crusade <br> Couples Retreat <br> Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
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I am not in the I hate Skull camp, but it was disappointing after awhile. Then again, $700 million pretty much speaks for itself as whether internet fans matter or not. Quick answer, No fucking way. I am a little hesitant about the Triangle maybe it ties to Atlantis that would be awesome if they are just using it as Indy and friends stuck in a boat full of ghosts I am thinking another disappointment. Yeah, Speilberg is a terrible director, Gilliam needs to stop and think about that since most of his movies are fucking incoherent disasters of storytelling. 12 Monkeys not with standing. What the fuck was the point of Brazil? Yeah, society is fucked up, but look at all the weird shit, 90% of all Gilliam's movies. As for Lucas, give it a rest nerds, he made you who you are today with him Star Wars no ILM, no Cameron, no Ridely, no Jackson and 100% of the top grossing films minus Home Alone. WTF were we thinking when we all bought a ticket to that.
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Work's killing me here.
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About Cinque. My brother related this to me, but I'm not too sure about the internet documentation. Could be a buncha bullshit, but, really, what's the point in making that shit up?
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June 8, 2010, 3:52 p.m. CST
Made Old Fashioned Way: B&W, cheap stunts, bad effects work!
by JonChambers
YEAH - LET'S DO IT THE OLD FASHIONED WAY! WITH OBVIOUS MINIATURES, TOHO-LIKE DOLL SOLDIERS POPPING OUT OF TANKS, AND USING GOLD FISH FOR GIANT SEA MONSTERS AROUND A TOY SUB. YOU fucking assholes. You want it the old fashioned way? Bend over, take your pants down, and you'll get it the old fashioned way, you farts.
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Forget batteries not included, I thought it was The Berg's for some reason.
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Dude, Time Bandits, Brazil, Munchausen, The Fisher King, Twelve Monkeys and Fear and Motherfucking Loathing?!?!?!
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You young fool, those CGI monkeys were way fucking preferable to practical effects. Sigh. So glad I wasn't raised on a fucking diet of Wi and Playstation so that I'd think that shit was acceptable.
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Honestly, how tough is that choice?
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...for anyone who missed it when it was doing the rounds a few years back, here is proof that Spielberg and Lucas were once upon a time full of genuinely brilliant ideas and creativity: <p> http://tinyurl.com/aum42e
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Indiana Jones uncovers a mysterious Pirate ship, and an army of undead Pirates. Johnny Depp co stars.
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Raiders looks five times better than Crystal Skull. If you can't see that, you have my sympathies.
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I've lost all respect for his "Talent". at this point and Speilberg spends too much time cowtowing to him and others to do any good.
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Just like the CG ants and the CG prairie dogs and the CG monkeys and the forgettable judo guys and the other forgettable little enemies and the forgettable aliens and worthless antagonists and basically the entire plot, in general. One of the worst movies I've seen in my life. At least B-movies can be entertaining and I know what I'm getting with another Saw sequel...
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Thanks for that. It's like being a fly on the wall for the creation of cinematic history.
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Let's see it the way Billy Zane did 15 years ago!
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Now THAT is gonna be some shit!
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Lol, slams Indy, but loves Saw. What a piece of shit.
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swinging indy
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I think anyone who criticizes the ants is off his rocker and overloaded with anti-Crystal Skull hate, because that is one moment that I think is very critic-proof. The ants don't look like CGI. They look like swarming hoards of ants.
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Sort of. Respectable, I guess I'd say, but the monkeys and the rest of it? Pure fucking shit.<p>Fuck, they even shot the fucking airport in Van Nuys or some shit! Indy is a fucking globetrotter. When all your "light" looks just like a studio or Southern Cal, you've failed at your Indiana Jones movie.
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Fucking Fresno. Indiana Jones will span the globe from San Bernardino to the Napa Valley!
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Good call, dude! Totally missed that.
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"Ah damnit Marion.. I sneezed in my sleep and shit the bed again." [p] "JONES!"
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The production crew will spare no expense as they move Harrison from the kitchen to the living room, out to the garage, and then onto the back porch in a thrilling, action tour de force in exotic locations that they can convince Harrison to go to!
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You want me to get outta bed and go into the kitchen then the living room and the damned back porch? What am I, thirty-years-old? How's about we just drape a green curtain on the wall behind my electric adjustable bed? You can make it look like anywhere in the world, right? And you can just Photoshop the remote control and the bag of Doritos outta my hands, too, right? And instead of me talking, why dontcha get somebody to dub my dialogue while I'm munching on these chips?
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Yeah right, like they'd stop at 5. If it's the Bermuda triangle it won't be aliens, yeah Atlantis sounds most probable. Crystal Skull would've been great if they'd kept to the premise- 50's UFO's? Then give us 50's aliens. Mars Attacks style. Or the original Bodysnatchers designs. As for 'less CG'... pff, they said that last time. Eh, I didn't mind Crystal Skull. But that's not a glowing recommendation.
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Down the stairs into the garage while carefully clutching the handrail! Gasp! As he narrowly avoids tripping on some tools he left on the floor! Marvel! At the exotic splendor of the screened back porch!
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The Nazi's stole it no doubt.
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"And stay offa my lawn, ya little Nazis!"
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Indiana Jones must take care of his bratty nephew during Christmas, but Harry and Marv break into his house.
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Pirates of the Bermuda Triangle. <P> BO gold!
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June 8, 2010, 4:35 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE EPIC TALKBACK
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
WITH WITTY TITLES REFFERING TO HARRISON FORDS GERIATRIC STATUS
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That doesn't mean it's not one of the cooler scenes, but they look very CGI.
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Harry's tropical shirts.
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June 8, 2010, 4:36 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND HARRISON FORDS POOP BAG LOL
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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If Indy holds up a line at the post office while he's relating his adventures to a clerk while simultaneously complaining about the outrageously expensive postage stamps.<p>"Four cents! That's so high! I remember when postage used to be..."<p>"Hurry up, Old Man!"
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June 8, 2010, 4:37 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND HARRISON FORDS LOST CAR KEYS LOL
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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2 hours too long!
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June 8, 2010, 4:37 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND HARRISON FORDS PROSTATE CANCER SCREENING LOL
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 8, 2010, 4:38 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND HARRISON FORDS COSCO CRATE OF FIBER ONE LOL
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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The Nazi's kidnap Drew for giving Hitlers Mein Kampf a negative review.
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June 8, 2010, 4:39 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND HARRISON FORDS FORGOTTEN MEMORIES LOL
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 8, 2010, 4:39 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND HARRISON FORDS WRINKLED ASS CHEEKS LOL
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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Who shouted at him.<p>"It's not the years, kid..."<p>"No, it IS the years, Grandpa! Now, hurry up!"<p>Indy turns, a fighting look on his face. Arms slightly out from his body, he reaches down and yanks out his trusty whip to teach this kid some manners.<p>Only it ain't his whip! It's his belt! And Indy's pants drop to the ground!
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June 8, 2010, 4:40 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND HARRISON FORDS WALK TO THE PARK TO FEED THE SQ
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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Are you kidding? You know what they're asking for that? METAMUCIL!!!
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June 8, 2010, 4:41 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND HARRISON FORDS GOLDEN WALKER LOL
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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Is harder to connect with Indiana Jones. AI and Minority Report are easy to connect as one being the future of the other, but to tie it into the other films? More difficult.
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June 8, 2010, 4:43 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for Harry Knowle's PS3.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Harry needs a blu ray player.
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Indy goes to see a 3D movie for the first time and his head explodes.
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what will they blame the poor reviews on? You gotta have that CGI or someone might actually start to think (gasp!) the story is lacking.
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Indy gotta eat to.
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Right..there won't be any aliens. Spielberg didnt really want any for indy 4 but lucas suckered him into it..can't see that happening again. Shia is a fuckin great actor..fuck anyone who says otherwise..yes the monkey scene was shit but shia is great so there! yes by all means lose some of the cgi but not all. Just tone it down a little is all. Remember the original trilogy had fx in them..just look at all 3 and they all have matte paintings and spcial visual fx ..thats all is needed just to pare it down a bit. Funny how it said this would be fords last time in the role...NO SHIT SHERLOCK!! at nearly 70 it doesnt take superbrian to work that one out. Also it won't have had 19 yrs of reworked scripts behind it and will be all the better for it. i hope kasdan is involved but i doubt he will be but even an original script by Koeep will be better than all shit he was asked to change by Lucas.
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Indy gotta drink.
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Indy gotta drive.
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Just more proof that money rules everything.. and most of you stupid mutherfuckers are gonna provide them more of it when this fucking piece of shit is released!! But hey, special effects people need jobs too! Economy 1, Artistic Merit 0. Fuck you Lucas!!
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Man, that's cool!
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June 8, 2010, 4:55 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones And The Inability To Understand The Concept Of Inf
by Dead_Kate_Moss
They should set the next one in the late 70s at the height of Star Wars mania. And Indy does a double take at Han Solo.
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June 8, 2010, 4:55 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE ESCAPE FROM THE COLONOSCOPY LOL
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 8, 2010, 4:56 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE SECRET OF THE CREME OF WHEAT
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 8, 2010, 4:56 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE CURSE OF ARTHRITIS
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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.....is actually Gloria Katz? Do I have that right? She wrote Temple of Doom and is back to ghost write Indy5, Batman 3, and Thor? PLUS, she's helping John Williams score Indy5? Even though it won't be released for another 2 years? <p> She also had all the ideas for Jaws and Star Wars.
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Shorty! How do I get this to work!!
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Oh, and I can just add that Marion was a total bitch for hiding the fact that Indy had a son and that her son's father wasn't his real dad.
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....there was a video game using that angle and the Bermuda Triangle can easily connect to it. Regardless, it's a step up from Roswell, Aliens and the "Skullfuck".
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Can't believe you guys are still debating what it's gonna be about!! It can be about vaginas and it will still SUCK!!!!
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I meant... "GET OFF MY PLANE".
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"You should have let me in on this.. We could have planned it, prepared it.. Pre-sold the movie rights!!" In other words, damn great idea!
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Indy needs hair.
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Indy goes limp.
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There's a scene set in NYC in which Indy and Mutt stumble into the Beatles played by the famous trio. Casting is underway for Ringo, however.
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Indy needs sex.
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Adventure has a name... and is wheelchair accessible.
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A few will boast that they downloaded and didn't pay for it, but you'll be seeing it none the less.
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The cellphone would take up the first half of the movie
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best line of the entire movie.
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Sir Sean Connery may come out of retirement to reprise his role as Henry Jones Sr. George is planning on releasing a 'Special Edition' of KOTCS to digitally replace the photo in the frame on Indy's desk with Short Round. If Mr. Connery decides not to participate, the part will be recast with Roger Moore.
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I'd see it.
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June 8, 2010, 5:25 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and The Senior Moment after Senior Moment
by Alice Cooper Stalker
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where I wasn't interested in news regarding Indiana Jones or Star Wars, but alas that time has arrived.
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No, I lied. It was too shit to watch a second time.
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I'm game
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June 8, 2010, 5:32 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Fools With Their Pants on the Ground
by Sicuv Uyall
Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. And gold teeth in their mouth. This one, Indy is a grumpy old black guy.
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for his glaucoma.
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Wisconsin, right?
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I called it first. Remember that.
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Too late, Ford has already done this in real life.
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I hate snakes.
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During a break writing the script for 'Marmaduke 2', my girlfriend Kristen Stewart called with huge news you are hearing here first: Daniel Day Lewis will play Nahuel in the next chapter of the Stephanie Meyer series.
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And your point is? Does seeing it somehow invalidate criticism?
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maybe he'll try it with Jimmy Buffet and Ed Bradley.
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I don't think Indy "saving the day" was an issue. It was the issue of "writing a good script.." which leads to the next title...
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CGI is just another special effect. Ideally, ANY special effect makes something unreal look real, and you don't even know it's an effect. Fair examples are "The Titanic", or 1933 New York in Jackson's "King Kong", which also had the possible WORST CGI scene ever with the "tumbling brontosaurs" ...
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"Throw me the idol, I threw out my back!" ahahahahahahahahaha.....well played sir
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June 8, 2010, 5:48 p.m. CST
They said they weren't going to rely on CG for Indy 4...
by canvasseamonkey
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I'm just as excited about this as I was the last one. It could be awesome. It could suck. Either way I'll probably see it once high as well and forget about it until something reminds me I barely remember it. Of Indy 5 I remember a motorcycle, a refrigerator and an alien, and I don't think the motorcycle counts cause it was in the trailer.
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93-year-old, one-eyed "Old Indy" played by George Hall was deleted from the Young Indy series when it was reedited for home video, so the eye patch thing may be out.
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Sounds like somebody's feeling a little desperate for attention....
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June 8, 2010, 5:58 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE ALZHEIMERS HALLUCINATION OF SHIVA
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 8, 2010, 5:59 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE GREY HAIR WOVEN FLEECE
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 8, 2010, 6 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE LOST ADVENTURE IN WALMART
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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If it does, I'll eat my hat (and Indy's).<p>The only way I would want to see this is if they mo-capped Ford's tired old ass back to his early 40's and made it a prequel to Crystal Skull, much like Temple was to Raiders. Mocapping an iconic actor back to his prime years will be the next big effects challenge. Of course, they did it in a few isolated scenes with Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button, but I'm talking about for the duration of an entire film and in broad daylight, instead of cheating and hiding in shadows as in Button. Plus, that way you don't have to deal with the dead weights of Mutt and the betrothed Marion. Just give us Indy in his peak adventure years; I don't need another watered down family dynamic/ comedy Indy movie as in Crusade/ Skull - I want the Bondian kick-ass adventurer Indy of Raiders/ Doom again.<p>And please - no David Koepp. That guy is surely one of the blandest screenwriters around and partly responsible for many of Spielberg's weak blockbusters of the past 10 years. I'm baffled what Spielberg sees in him, since his banal workaday writing has no sense of scope or excitement whatsoever. Even the original Jurasic Park was much less than it could have been thanks to Koepp's involvement. I'm not expecting Larry Kasdan, but how about Jonathan Nolan? Since he's working on Interstellar, hopefully the Berg has been impressed enough with his efforts to consider him as his new go-to guy when it comes to scriptwriting.
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"Devin over at CHUD wrote a great editorial about how modern day movie geeks are fucking idiot snobs who want everything to be mainstream while claiming otherwise."<p>I knew Devin was a pathetic and disgusting waste of space, but so painfully lacking personal insight and a complete and utter lack of self awareness to boot? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black...
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Mmmm.
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June 8, 2010, 6:13 p.m. CST
Darabont's script was better than Koepp's but
by Turd_Has_Risen_From_The_Grave
not by much. Lucas was correct in canning the thing. The script available online is also not a first draft, but the last of four that Darabont wrote. In fact, his first draft involved ex-Nazis hiding out in Argentina post-War, Boys from Brazil style, and with a vendetta against Dr. Jones.
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Treat him like James Bond. There was a time when people must have thought that James Bond and Sean Connery could not possibly be separated. And while I do think Connery was the best Bond, I am much happier for the series to change actor than for the series to be built around an ageing actor. <p> Indiana Jones and the 1930s setting are too good to be wasted. (Although I maintain that they have already been wasted, i.e. that all the movies after Raiders have been disappointing.)
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I know Indy normally have a sidekick for the films but Shia was not the best coming out of the fourth film. I wouldn't mind a prequel of the KOTCS before Indy is married to a fat chick who lost all her acting talent. I would like another stab at getting Sean Connery one more time before he dies. Surprise to learn Connery has also been in great shape, well not like his Biond days, but he looks better than a lot of people his age. I know it may be hammy to do this but Spielberg dropped the ball by not casting his hot, YES I SAID IT, hot wife and still acting Kate Capshaw for the film. Indy deserves her not a fat chick! As for writers, I think Lucas should hand the script to Steven Spielberg. I think he's a good writer and I think he has the knowledge to know what could work in an INDY film. He and George should just write the script themselves and then have Jonathan Nolan or a Paul Hagis or M Night Shamaylan to polish it.
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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ <br> +++++++++++++#######+++++++++++++++++ <br> +++++++++++############+++++++++++++++ <br> ++++++++++###############+++++++++++++ <br> +++++++++#####++++++++###++++++++++++ <br> ++++++++###++++++++++++###+++++++++++ <br> ++++++++##++++++++++++++###++++++++++ <br> +++++++##+++++++++++++++####+++++++++ <br> +++++++#+++++++++++++++++###+++++++++ <br> ++++++##+++++++++++++++++####++++++++ <br> ++++++#+++++++++++++++##++@##++++++++ <br> +++++##++++++++++++############+++++++ <br> +++++##++++++++#+++##+####+####+++++++ <br> +++++##++++#####+++#++#####+####+++++++ <br> +++++##+++##+###+++#+++****++####+++++ <br> +++++##+++++#++#+++#+++++++++##++++++ <br> +++++##++++@++++++++#+++++++##+#+++++ <br> +++++#+++++++++++++++#++++++##+#+++++ <br> ++++++#+++++++++++++#++++++####++++++ <br> ++++++##+++++++++++####++++####+++++++ <br> ++++++++++++++++@#+###++++++####+++++ <br> +++++##+#+++++++++++++++++++##+#+++++ <br> +++++#++++++++++++++##++++++####+++++ <br> +++++#+@++++++++++######++++##+++++++ <br> +++++#+#+#+++++++##+++#+++++##+++++++ <br> ++++++#++#++++++##+++###++++##+++++++ <br> +++++++#++++++++++++++++++#####++++++ <br> +++++++++#+++++++++++#++++#####++++++ <br> +++++++++++#+++++++++++++############++ <br> ++++++++++++#+++++++++++#############++ <br> +++++++++++++#++++++++###############++ <br> ++++++++++++++##++++########+########++ <br> +++++++++++++#++###########++########++ <br> +++++++++++###+++#########++#########++ <br> ++++++++#######++++######+++#########++ <br> ++++++#########+++++++##++++#########++ <br> +++++##########+++++###++++##########++ <br> +++############+++++#++++++##########++ <br> ++##############++++#++++++##########++ <br>
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June 8, 2010, 6:22 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE QUEST TO STAY AWAKE DURING FILMING
by Stuntcock Mike
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So I'll believe this when I see it...I just don't think that Lucas can help himself. Why is it that his own company (ILM) does top notch work when working for other directors, but when working for their boss their animation looks like shit?
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I think that people went into Indy IV with a "Phantom Menace"-fear mindset and looked for reasons not to like it. The "Chariots of the Gods" aliens-in-history concept has been far far too many times, but the Indiana Jones mythology was the one place where it actually made sense to do it again. I thought there were a lot of cleverness to its nods to the period, I liked the atmosphere and the sense that it was still the same serial, only we'd missed a generation's worth of episodes along the way. Overall I still rate it higher than Last Crusade.<BR><BR>It amazes me that that even into his mid-60s, Harrison Ford can still pull off looking like an action hero. Here is a guy that portrayed Indy in Raiders as an already worn-down adventurer and 30 years later he's still going like the energizer archeologist.<BR><BR>If the technology reaches the point where you could digitize Harrison Ford's face and voice over someone adept at impersonating his emotive style of movements, would it be sacrilege to retcon the Holy Grail allow Indy to keep on adventuring forever?
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Finishing the title of the article: [INDY 5 MAY BE ABOUT] ...the quest to bamboozle more moviegoers into paying for crap with a brand name people trust? Aw hell naw!
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Has less credibility than Andy Dick (and is probably considerably more high).
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"Gee, I hope this isn't a complete waste of both time and money!" <p>Honestly, if it were more of a cornball comedy (ala Nuked Fridge) it probably would've been a more successful entertainment. Balls.
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This would have been viable 20 years ago but alas I think Ford is too closely identified with the character now. Would the public accept another Indy? <p>I think Lucas would actually have loved to have to done this, and is probably kicking himself that he didn't follow through. We could have had many Indiana Jones adventures instead of just four, with Lucas and Spielberg as exec producers only, Cubby Broccoli style. But the insistence on always reuniting the core team of three for each sporadic movie instead of passing the torch onto other directors and actors has made this an unlikely prospect.<p>Of course, people did accept others as Bond after Connery, but then Connery's tenure as the character only lasted less than 10 years (if you don't count Never Say Never Again), and the character also had literary origins which allowed for more flexibility in interpretation, although that is probably a lesser factor.
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I don't mind a little CG but the swinging monkeys and the CG gophers did not work... at all. Looking forward to number 5 though.
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"Why is it that his own company (ILM) does top notch work when working for other directors, but when working for their boss their animation looks like shit?" <p> Agreed.
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Filming on one set in black and white. Take that fanboys!
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...Uh, what was I talking about again?
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This is now all about greed, not quality, in regard to Lucas and Spielberg.
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Without sound?
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He teams up with Dirty Harry Callahan to keep the streets clean...
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They did it with star trek, after 7 films and a TV series. It can be done with Indy, modern audiences aren't as demanding as they used to be.
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with Tosh Daniels in Shia's role of Mutt...
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June 8, 2010, 7:11 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Curse of Erectile Dysfunction
by BP_drills_america_a_new_asshole
Indiana Jones and the Search for the Golden Stairlift. Indiana Jones and the Mystery of Incontinence. Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Hip Replacement.
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They said it would be less CGI-intensive for the last film too. I don't believe their shit, and this film will be terrible. Don't get your hopes up.
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Go back to fighting Nazis again.
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Are you high?
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...that shot of Shia as a Greaser Tarzan was fucking hilarious! Absurd, yes, but so was a monkey giving a Nazi salute.
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I didn't walk out of Crystal Skull feeling as if the franchise had been buried, or something beloved taken and kicked to death, burned, and pissed on. <p> <p> Did I come out feeling it could've been better, than there were so bad missteps in there? Yes. The monkeys. A big deal being made of Marion being back but nothing *really* been made of it, as much as could have been. I didn't HATE Shia, I don't think anyone else could've pulled his role off better. It's a fucking INDY flick, everybody is second fiddle to Ford. I thought Ford brought his game but TRIED to give Indy a little more of an "old", "worn down" frailty - which mightn't be what people wanted. <p> <p> This is coming from someone who dearly loves Raiders as a movie, an achievement, a story, an adventure... I love every frame of that film. And even as a kid, I knew that Temple and Crusade weren't QUITE in the same league. They took the well-drawn CHARACTER of Indiana Jones from the brilliantly plotted, brilliantly populated Raiders (honestly, EVERY character in that flick is memorable), and turned him into something more of an indestructible matinee hero to throw into increasingly outlandish escapades. Even as a twelve year old in the cinema, I knew there were things in Last Crusade that could have been done better, that somethings were TOO goofy compared to Raiders. <p> <p> What I'm getting at - and I know many will completely disagree - is that I see Raiders as a pinnacle unto itself, and the three movies that followed are a trilogy unto themselves. Raiders is the one that sits apart for me. Crystal Skull is tonally and thematically and structurally and narratively very very close to the other two. It has many faults, it always would have after such a long wait. NOTHING could have measured up. <p> <p> And if no one has already, I'd like to point out that the "Indy 5" article in questions looks, sounds, and smells, like utter bullshit to me - the kind of crap that gets trotted out into our UK tabloids every day. <p> <p> "Megan Fox is A LOCK as Catwoman in Batman 3" from a year or two ago, shit like that.
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Some fucking idiot rated Crystal Skull higher than Last Crusade. You truly are a fucking idiot. When I spend money on a movie, i'm hoping to find reasons to like it. I mean I better find some reason to like it! You know how much movies are nowadays. I'll even make excuses if the movies is just so so and look for parts to like. C'mon, we got Harrison Ford and Spielberg, fuck it.. i know i'll like it. And Lucas can kiss my ass, because those other two will negate his worthless input. Well, was I ever fucking wrong!! Not even the disappointment of the prequels can match this one, cuz i was pissed!! So I'm sick of those apologists and Lucas lovers and Spielberg lovers who try to say the movie wasn't as bad as we think. It FUCKING SUCKED!!!! Somebody said to watch it with your inner child... Bullshit!! everytime i watch an adventure movie, it's my inner child watching! I am basically an inner child in real life! And my inner child told me "WAAAA THIS MOVIE SUCKED!!!" Try this, apologists.. try watching it and finding reasons not to like it. Try it once. You'll find that these reasons will outnumber the reasons why you thought you liked it. You Armond White.. the guy who loves EVERYTHING Spielberg does.. EVERYTHING!!!
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Hand Puppets!!!
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Give Lucas that seed money so he can finally make that... Star Wars comedy series?!!
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Give Lucas that seed money so he can finally make that... Star Wars comedy series?!!
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Who doesn't like ANY of the sequels? Raiders is a classic, rocked my world as a kid but the sequels' diminishing returns were significant from the get-go. Starting with that stupid Goonies kid in the second one. Whatever it was called.
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Cave paintings...
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We've seen the Paramount logo dissolve to mountains, a gong with a mountain on it and a prairie dog dirt mound. What would you like the logo to dissolve to for the fifth film? My ideas: 1. A smoking volcano that then erupts. Indy's on a remote island with angry natives and must get to the treasure before it's destroyed by lava. 2. A shark's fin as they cue the Jaw's theme. We follow the shark as the credits roll. From the shark's POV we see blood in the water and then the unlucky bastard it's spilling from. CHOMP. Cut to Indy being forced to walk the plank by the ship's Captain played by Ian McShane. 3. A mountain that a giant Indy crushes. You see, it's paper mache and he's destroying Tokyo while fighting Yakuza on the set of a Godzilla film. 4. A matte painting of a mountain on the set of Willie Scott's latest film. Short Round, who was adopted by Scott after "Temple", is there too as the stunt coordinator.
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Hand Shadows on blanket.
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It's because those other directors are skilled and set basic standards of believability for what they want on screen. As for Lucas, the fact that he got CGI prairie dogs up on the screen was good enough for him.
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Why do you think he had to adopt his kids?
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... but it's late here! <p> <p> I know people despise Crystal Skull, but there are some nuggets of coolness in there. I dig the '50s sci-fi vibe they were trying to skewer in... the cheesy sound the skull makes, stuff like that... and not to defend Lucas TOO much (God knows he's not earned it with some of his missteps - this half-baked lunatic idea of a Star Wars COMEDY being the latest) or even Spielberg (it's his fault for simply GIVING IN to some of Lucas' whims), but this 50s sci-fi flavour, something we didn't get in the original '30s inspired ones, is their deliberate doing. And in some ways you can't knock 'em for it. They're geeks just like us. They're just geeks for a different ERA of movies. <p> <p> They KNOW those 30s cliffhanger serials and 50s sci-fi B-movies better than they know their own movies. They don't see what we see when they watch Star Wars or Indy movies. Those are OURS. They're something they MADE, and there is a difference. <p> <p> No, I don't love Crystal Skull. It could, and should, have been a shit-ton better considering the time they had to get it right, but before you rip it to shreds, go and find some of the scripts that were passed on. They are/were out there online. <p> <p> Indiana Jones and the Monkey King by Chris Columbus: Climactic battle between Indy riding a giant armoured rhinocerous against a tank, aided by pygmy tribes who bring him back to life after being killed with MAGIC PEACHES. Yeah, we'd all've loved THAT, I'm sure. (And the rest of the script is overblown and atrocious.) <p> <p> Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men From Mars (by Jeff Boam, I think?) - lots of stuff that ended up in Crystal Skull (rocket sled, nuclear bomb) but set entirely in New Mexico desert - that's right, no globetrotting at all, no red lines on a map - over a non-descript alien metal cylinder. The ending features Indy and his schmooze being sucked up in their truck into the belly of a UFO. Just horrible. <p> <p> And yes, Darabont's draft. Sure, some cool parts, and the Marion angle was played FAR better: but don't believe the hype. There were Jar-Jar-ish doo-doo gags, Indy eaten alive by a giant snake, and some totally hamfisted attempts at homaging the original trilogy, which came off as the worst kind of fanwankery. <p> <p> Plus, in the "temple" at the end, Indy blows the "king" alien's head off with a shotgun, whilst growling the line "welcome to Earth". Had Darabont never SEEN Independence Day? <p> <p> Take the best parts of Darabont's draft and remove what was terrible about the finished product, and we'd've had a great movie. <p> <p> Keopp just cannibalised all the different drafts, chucked them at a wall and waited to see what would stick. He should've done better.
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June 8, 2010, 7:40 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the 3 Fags Who Used to be Great and Now Suck
by AzulTool
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was not a possible script for Indy 4, but for Indy 3, and it was written in the mid-80's. Some joker has mis-labelled it as Indy 4 though, and tried to pass it off thus (before Crystal Skull came out). There are parts of it that were kept for Last crusade, like the boat chase, but it is a supremely silly script.
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June 8, 2010, 7:43 p.m. CST
The whole "..killed with MAGIC PEACHES" part sounds kinda cool..
by Cheeses_of_Nazareth
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Come on Hollywood!! Sam Worthington isn't getting any younger!!
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The Paramount logo dissolves to a steaming pile of dog shit, just to give you an idea of what you're in for.
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Recast Henry Jones and have a Young Indy.
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4. The Paramount logo on the Paramount lot. He's there to retrieve an ancient artifact from a prop master when gangsters show up. They run and fight through multiple movies sets (Pee Wee's Big Adventure style) eventually ending up on the set of Willie Scott's latest film. Short Round, who was adopted by Scott after "Temple", is there too as the stunt coordinator.
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June 8, 2010, 7:49 p.m. CST
Stop pissing on whathas been a remarkable series of movies
by Proman1984
Simply reading about this movie got my bloood pumping. I love the Indiana Jones series and all of the movies have entertained me over the years in uniquely different ways. Bring on Indy 5!
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should be from the Paramount mountain to a huge conical pile of shit as Lucas and Spielberg squat over it and dispell the contents of their aging dysentry-affected bowels. Then Ford and La Beef crawl on their hands and knees over to the brown land-mass to eat 'humble pie', if you will. Ford stands, turns to camera in dramatic close up, grinning mouth speckled with scat, and places the iconic Indy hat atop his head, and then there is an accordant background dissolve to the movie proper. <p>A nice meta-type film-within-a-film start for Indy 5, and a symbolic apology for the last movie.
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If I had a nickel for every time they said a movie was going to use "less CGI" than the one before it, only to have the movie wind up using just about the same amount of CGI, I would have... a couple bucks. Basically, what I'm trying to say here is that I'll believe it when I see it.
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And this 'cup' ain't the Holy Grai, I can tell you.
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...Angrily Sending Back a Bowl of Soup In a Diner
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Indy: "Willie Scott...Last I heard, she moved to Hollywood as an actress and married some big time director." How meta.
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invented by Tesla. it can sense electromagnetic flux'es in time and space and decrypt them into pulses that equal audio, it can read radio broadcast from the future and the past. it can transmit audio messages to a future versions of itself so long as that future version is fairly close to the same location as it is in the past, same goes for the past broadcast receiver- information reception and sending is dependant on it's location. The Bermuda triangle was a Tesla experiment as well. Someone is trying to find out where the illusive Tesla machine is that did it. <P> So really it's two objects. An audio time machine and a machine that can tear electromagnetical objects out of relative space (flesh and metal)- both created by Tesla. <P> No more old relics or artifacts. something new something based in science and very powerful. <P> Now the radio recorder is needed to find the pilot transmissions so they can locate the possible site where the device is located. They fly around with scanning transmissions. The tesla electromagnetical objects displacer machine is odd becuase it was only used once but for some odd reason it is travelling through time as well with the objects it took with it. appearing at random times in the future in the past, So when it found it pulls indiana and the bad guys through time. <P>
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Someone convince Lucas to step the fuck back, hand the directing AND writing chores to BRAD BIRD, set the film in the 30s/40s and cast JON HAMM.<p>Problem fucking solved. Goodnight and thank you.
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Would the damn asteroid just come and wipe us out already!!!
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it's all about controlling world affairs
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Very astute, Judgeman.
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June 8, 2010, 8:20 p.m. CST
Would somebody force Speilberg and Lucas to retire... PUHLEAZE!!
by Citizen Sane
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Didn't they say this all the way throughout Indy 4? "All practical stunts and effects, no computers, just like the original 3"? I'll believe it when I see it.
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Nathan Fillion is the new Indy. Indy has to have the just slightly campy edge to him, I think Hamm works best playing it straight (as in Don Draper) or all out goofy like on SNL. Fillion has the Indy vibe down pretty instictively.<br><br>However, a 30s/40s Golden Age Superman reboot w/ Hamm, ass-kickery of absolutely epic proportions
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They HAVE to get this one right. The franchise simply CAN'T end with Skull; the thought is too depressing. Please, LFL, if you're reading this...NO CGI!! You guys really shot yourselves in the foot with the last one. Let's get it right this time.
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I bet... I hope that nobody wastes their hard-earned money on this when it is confirmed to be another piece of crap on opening. At least Spielberg makes SOME effort at redemption after he lays a stinking turd like Indy 4. But Lucas obviously doesn't give a rat's ass about the quality of the product he creates. So 5 is going to suck too... guaranteed!
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Classic. Hated it when it came out, love it now. Eh, go figure.
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Is "abouit" the new "aboot". Pardon me if am lagging behind my pop culture references.
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Well It's about motherfuckin time they figured it out...been sayin it for years goddamnit.
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...and no CGI? I'll belive it when I see it. WTF.
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I want to dagger of destiny, or the sword of destiny, or what ver the hell it was that was used to spear christ-- the nazi's were trying to find in order to possess ultimate. We NEED nazi's, i don't care if the war is over, nazi's never really went away and nazi's were always indy's best nemesis - C'mon!!!!! <p>side note, inglorious basterds was a fantastic "indianna jones LOOKING" film
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I hate these guys.
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But drawing it all in the computer and expecting us to be dazzled is a big fat falacy hollywood needs to learn - or rather, should already know!<p>I watch empire strikes back the other day and omg... nothing beats looking at a photographed model against a background plate!
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But then again, they said the fourth one wouldn't have much cgi either, and look what happened there.
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Indy ain't wearin' no cotton bitch!!!
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June 8, 2010, 9:07 p.m. CST
Inglourious Basterds was an R-rated Indy film in some respects
by Turd_Has_Risen_From_The_Grave
The same cartoonish pulp retro-fitting of historical events into an adventure movie. I think Tarantino could do a hell of an Indy movie actually, since Lucas and Spielberg were doing what he does years before, plundering old movies to create their own post-modern takes on these old sources. It would be a good fit, provided Tarantino could curtail his penchant for endless chatter.
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Indy does not just battle Nazis all the time, same as he isn't restricted to finding only Judaeo-Christian artifacts like some fans seem to think.
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They promised one thing and did the opposite...assholes
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these last 2 would probably better fit modern Spielberg
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time to get really dark
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Sicuv Uyall you are a GENIUS!
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June 8, 2010, 9:24 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and The Mystery of Harry's Gastric Band
by Turd_Has_Risen_From_The_Grave
Just why isn't it working? Indy discovers that Harry is the true reincarnation of Buddha and is thus always fated to be a fat bastard. Harry smiles benignly upon a wondrous Indy and offers him a donut.
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June 8, 2010, 9:30 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Haemorroids of Death
by Turd_Has_Risen_From_The_Grave
After a lifetime of wiping his ass with rough leaves in the jungle, Indy suffers frokm a severe case of the dreaded ass-grapes.
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Not that I'm a fan, kinda ashamed that I get that reference, but it was fucking funny as shit either way.
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Red lines on the map would just follow streets on a local Las Vegas map.
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sequel to Screwdriver concert one
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for the possible Indiana 5 plot at one point, which is now abandoned. I honestly believe they are abandoning hunt for ancient artifacts, since it's been done 4 times now. Everything object had a mystical power, so it will be hard to avoid that as a plot device, and stay true to the Indiana way.
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Just 2 locations in this one, and Arizona is one of them.
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June 8, 2010, 9:39 p.m. CST
Some folks think the Lost City of Atlantis is in the Triangle
by TheJudger
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mmm. Waffles.
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I'll never get tired of your 500 Days of Summer bit. It's so simple but I laugh every time
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He's gonna find it in this movie, folks. He specializes in mythical artifacts after all.
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Hashbrowns of East College Avenue. <P> Waffles.... I'm all about them Hashbrowns!
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*Sigh* KOTCS wasn't horrible but it was very, very underwhelming, borderline depressing. <p> No hate, just apathy, which is worse, probably.
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Bingo!
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Like little life capsules
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they say you turn into your parents but going by all the "back in my day" whining, it seems people here are turning into their grandparents. :P
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Enjoying the 4th one as much as rest. Shia Labeuf knows dick.
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June 8, 2010, 10:02 p.m. CST
Bermuda Triangle has lot's of possibilities
by BEYONDTHUNDERDOME2GIRLS1CUPBILLCOSBY
wonder if the ending will turn out supernatural or the opposite?
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June 8, 2010, 10:02 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and Ray Allen's Shooting Percentage
by Those_arent_pillows
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Mmm. Prime Rib.
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Kobes a Doucher!
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Or at least do a frickin' reboot. Ford will be 70 when filming starts and Shia LeBeef is simply a terrible actor who's already so much as said the last outing sucked. Let it die or reboot, for God's sake.,
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<p>I was watching the director's cut of "Amadeus" the other day, then I watched the making of documentary. They had shot a pivotal scene in an old Opera House in Prague, where Mozart had conducted the premier of Don Giovanni. The place was made of wood and wasn't preserved very well, so when they were lighting tons of candles that hung from chandeliers, candles all over the stage... they were terrified they were going to burn the place down. But, they re-created what it would have been like at the time. It looked real, because it was. The whole time I was watching them discuss how afraid they were of burning down the opera-house, all I could think was "they would do that with computers now."</p> <p>Today they would build just the stage, and the entire opera house would be CG. All those candles would be fake. And...it would look fake. Sure the illusion might be convincing but I think we can tell when something is real, and when something is CG.</p> <p>Not to compare Indy 4 with Amadeus, but dammit just because you can make it with computers doesn't mean you should. If you have the money and the resources to create a real, practical effect, why not do that? It will age better. The audience will be more convinced. It won't look dated. We think things look real now, but as audiences become more sophisticated, in ten years all the CG affects being used today will look fake.</p> <p>And it's bad for the filmmakers. They are so sure they can do it all in post that they get lazy with the story. "Ah, we'll just fix that part later."</p>
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...I'm there opening day. And that's all there is to it.
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puppets and be just as lifelike and interactive with the environment around them as the CGI choice. Pass me some of that "jade me juice"
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I seem to recall Speilberg saying that Indy 4 wouldn't have much in the way of CGI... I counted the shots and there are far more than there were in Titanic.<br><br> So needless to say, I will EXPECT Indy 5 to have the same (or worse) level of CGI as Indy 4.<br><br> How about this: Shoot the WHOLE MOVIE without CGI and see what happens? Just try it. I bet Speilberg and Lucas don't have the creativity anymore to do it.
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for the Crystal Skull? They used a lot of miniatures during the shoot.
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look at that cold dead face, you know straws pop out of his tits, you know it!
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Yeah, CGI sucked, but there were a lot of crappy green screen effects that haven't stood up. The Birds for instance. They still use that crappy technique today in car interior shots...ugh
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Right, just like the last one? And all the practical effects it was SUPPOSED to have? Right, that's why you had a main character swinging from vines amidst CGI monkeys, or nuked fridges. Aliens and prairie dogs and ... ugh. Give Indy a rest already.
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I'm glad they didn't get a hold of Shia's boef, I shudder to think what they would have done to him.
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<P> http://tinyurl.com/2dgtuzo <P> And he's been dead for many years.
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that would be a really good idea it makes sense but then he'd be in the 70's though still good though
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That article is full of shit. It scored a 78% at Rotten Toms which may not be overwhelmingly positive but is certainly respectable for something so highly anticipated. Skull was fun in a pulpy/serial way (a lot like DOOM) but like many of you I'd prefer to see Indy go out on a more emotional high. If you think there will be "no CGI" you are smoking crack. It's 2010. There's nothing inherently wrong with CG and I thought if anything KOTCS relied TOO MUCH on traditional sets.
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Sorry Judger. Maybe next year.
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If you are honest with yourself, you know the entire beginning of Indy 4, concluding with the Library scene, held its own with the previous Indy films. Spielberg, Lucas, and Ford may be a bit older, but they still have the talent. It comes down to making the right choices for the character and the story. I personally am looking forward to Indy handing over the franchise to Mutt. But to do it right, you need the right story, and no CG monkeys.
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maybe they lose a ship in the triangle and blame u.s
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June 8, 2010, 11:17 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones And The..WHAT THE HELL IS THAT WHITE STUFF IN THE
by BigTuna
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Dammit, Marion, I won a million dollars!
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June 8, 2010, 11:40 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the temple of DOOM starring Dwayne "The ROck"
by Those_arent_pillows
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June 8, 2010, 11:46 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
WWW.INFOWARS.COM
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June 8, 2010, 11:47 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE STOLEN US TREASURY BY INTERNATIONAL BANKS
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
WWW.PRISONPLANET.COM
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June 8, 2010, 11:48 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE CORPORATE TAKE-OVER OF EARTH
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
WWW.INFOWARS.COM
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June 8, 2010, 11:49 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE FIAT CURRENCY BANKSTER PYRAMID SCHEME
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
WWW.PRISONPLANET.COM
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June 8, 2010, 11:49 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE MYTH OF THE BUSINESS CYCLE
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
WWW.INFOWARS.COM
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June 8, 2010, 11:51 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE NEW WORLD ORDER
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
WWW.PRISONPLANET.COM
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Seriously!! When is he going to tell us more about his iPad!?
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Indiana Jones is over. Lucas and Spielberg ruined it. Play TAPS...
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once again proof that anyone with Darth in their name is a complete idiot.
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I WILL see this one
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They fucked up the franchise with the last piece of shit sequel, no way they're stealing my money a second time.
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June 9, 2010, 12:42 a.m. CST
"an emotional and exciting CONCLUSION to the franchise"
by fat_rancor_keeper
.......NOOOO!!! I don't care how mediocre or bad (depending who you ask) the last movie was part 5 cannot be the last one. These things have to be done as either trilogies or 6 parters!!! There cannot just be 5...that's ridiculous! I'm kind of Rainman about this shit and must insist that by whatever means necessary they make it an even 6 films to complete the saga. Harrison is old........so just film the next 2 Indy movies back to back or at the same time or something. But it HAS to be a 6 part saga!!!!!!!!
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I know he's Spielberg's go-to DP now, but Indy movies shouldn't look like "Minority Report."
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So said Spielberg himself aaaaaaaaand then look what Lucas talked him into. If he don't take the pencil out of George's hand and stab him in the ass with it so he never writes another bit of dialogue . . .
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Boys from Brazil, LUCAS!!! Dammit, why can't they have Indy take out the Nazis once and for all!?! Would've been a perfect plot.
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Lucas and Spielberg need to stay the fuck away from this franchise!
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June 9, 2010, 12:53 a.m. CST
I'm certain they could squeee Nazi's in somehow.......
by fat_rancor_keeper
......they are after all going to the Bermuda triangle. Strange shit is to be expected. This is a perfect opportunity to debut some long lost crusty old Nazis who were lost at sea.
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BEST SPELLING ERROR EVER!!!!!!!
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June 9, 2010, 12:57 a.m. CST
seriously guys I just made the next internet meme.....
by fat_rancor_keeper
hop on board the SQUEEE NAZIS train!
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June 9, 2010, 1:03 a.m. CST
The Bermuda Triangle was a failed Nazi wormhole project
by Those_arent_pillows
to teleport atlantic shipping to their getaway parallel universe
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Let's shoot this fucker!
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Plus - Opens up cool water based action scenes. Minus - Indy in the jungle again!? He better travel more in this one! Keys to success: Kasdan. More Indy alone. Grittier. Indy has to race against Mutt.
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How are they going to make a Bermuda Triangle Indy film without George Lucas blowing his CGI wad all over a big computer generated ocean?
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YES PLEASE! The CGI killed Indy 4 in my opinion. Indy and CGI do not go well together. Old-school FX please! And make Harrison grow a beard, like he had in the Young Indy episode.
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goddammit
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no doubt $pielberg and Lucash want to continue to cashflow on known "successes", so it's not like this would be "ridiculous news", but I sure hope it's not true...or, at least that it never happens. I don't think they can get better than KOTCS and KOTCS was just flat-out subpar.
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Seems to me that Shia takes away from the heroic focus being on Indy- something he never had in previous films. <p> Yes, Shorty was like a sidekick and you could argue Marcus, Sallah and to some extent Henry Jones Sr. all played heroic characters, or at least characters who got to display heroism along side Indy in those movies. <p> The thing is, it was always very clear that those characters were always second fiddle to indy, who was the main star, the main "hero", the big protagonist. <p> One of the things I resent about KOTCS is its conceit of trying to make Shia a co-hero. not just a sidekick, but someone Indy had to share the protagonist leading limelight with. I knwo there were reasons for it (passing the proverbial "torch", creating a pull-point for younger demographics), but the fact is, the Indy we knew and loved got bumpped a bit to the side. And I resent the movie, and Shia's character for it. We didn't need it. But no way they were going to overpay for Shia just to have him be a sidekick like Shorty. <p> So, sad to say, if there IS another Indy movie coming, Shia will certainly NOT have a smaller role than he did in KOTCS.
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June 9, 2010, 1:57 a.m. CST
Indian Jones and Why the South Killed the Easy Riders
by Those_arent_pillows
on TMC
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Ford gets angry when there's not enough ham on the craft services buffet.
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June 9, 2010, 2:13 a.m. CST
"this will be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way rather
by brodiebruce_405
That's what they said about Crystal Skull?!?! same old lies
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I meant to say. BRING BACK SHORT ROUND!
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I totally forgot that catchphrase!<p>n1 finky089
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i dont understand all of the shia haters here. His character was interesting well acted and i liked his rapour with harrison especially the scenes at university. He wasnt the reason the movie was bad that was down to lucas and spielberg and even shia says that, aicn had on the other month an interview with shia about upcoming wall street 2 and he was highlighting the things he thought were wrong with indy(swinging with monkeys and some of spielberg and lucas's ideas) and he came across like he had really approached the role with good intentions and that he knew its failings. After all it wasnt him who decided to have a friggin flying saucer at the end and indy survive a nuclear blast in a fridge!
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you know it's bad when the best memories I have of Indy IV are the memes and title gags and Talkback stuff that revolved around it! <p> Indy V: there will be HAM!
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I wanna see Indy go at it alone for most of the movie again. Have the audience be his companion instead of a posse of characters. <BR><BR> Have Short Round come back and not get along with Mutt and the two sidekicks journey on a side mission together. Eventually they reasseumble with Indy during the finale of the movie.
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it'll start when Mutt drives off in a truck across the desert, with Shorty giving chase on horseback. <p> They'll fight it out on the truck, until they throw each other off and land on a ricketey rope bridge across a huge chasm, which Shorty will cut in half because he no nuts, he CrAzEe! sending the two down, down down. After scraping his head against the side of the cliff, Mutt will land among a gaggle of gossiping gaotrs who will summarily rip him to shreiking shreds! <p> Meanwhile, Shorty will be saved by the inflatable raft he packed under his shirt (along with his Pinchers of Peril!), which he will use to "parachute" his way to the river at the bottom of the chasm. But when he hits the water, he goes on a wild rapid ride and finds himself in...India. <p> Wait, where was I going with this? Maybe JettLFUCKIN 93 can finish this tale off...if he's not too busy making penis meathelmets for Captain America. <p> G'night all!
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A British cur is a soaring soul <p> as free as the mountain bird! <p> His energetic kiss, <p> well, I never caught the rest <p> OF THIS OLD SONG! <p>
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chitterlings to save you!
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"And take back 1 big ham to honor the hebrew god whose Ark this is."
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"You're absolutely sure the piece you saw only had markings on one side? <p> nods <p> "Belloq's staff is too long. They're belly-dancing in the wrong place!"
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"Too bad the Hovitos don't know you the way I do." <p> "Yes, too bad. You could warm them, if only you made Huevos Rancheros. <p> "Mama sey mama sah, mamakusah!"
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June 9, 2010, 3:32 a.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE CUT MEDICARE BENEFITS
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 3:32 a.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE STRANGE BUMP IN HIS ARMPIT
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 3:33 a.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE NOSE HAIRS OF INFINITY
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 3:33 a.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE PENILE ERECTION DISFUNCION
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 3:34 a.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE ODD MUSKY ODOR
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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"Now, what's that supposed to be coming out of the Ark?" <p> "Lighting. Flour. Sausage gravy or something." <p> "I'm beginning to understand Hitler's hunger."
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June 9, 2010, 3:35 a.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE PESKY KIDS ON THE LAWN
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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"I had it, Marcus. I had it in my hands." <p> "What happened?" <p> "Guess." <p> "Big cock?" <p> nods. "Wanna hear about it?"
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"He's very clever...he's a 'not-ready-for-Prime-Time player'." <p> "What's his name?" <p> "Oh, they call him Belushi." <p> Indy laughs and Sallah joins him.
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Penetrating theaters Summer 2012
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was underwhelming, but like a masterpiece compared to the summer hackery from Bay, Abrams, Wiseman, Sommers, McG etc. <p> And Temple of Doom shits all over Last Crusade, for reasons i've posted on here about 1000 times before and feel no need to do so again. This place is like a large goldfish bowl, everyone swimming around in circles saying the same old shit.
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Who doesn't want to see the Valkyries taking out the baddies?
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A British tar is a soaring soul As free as a mountain bird His energetic fist should be ready to resist... A dictatorial word
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Paramount have denied this already. A spokesman for Spielberg has also denied it. Apparently, Indy V "definitely will NOT be filming next year".
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Some fucking idiot just said that Crystal Skull was a masterpiece compared to other movies including the last Star Trek. You are such a fucking complete idiot!! A sci-fi geek naming himself after a Dune reference wants to show he is an classic sci fi lover by showing his hatred for someone (Abrams) who tried to make Star Trek appealing to more people than just a few lonely nerds still who thought Star Trek: The Motion Picture was an underrated classic. And then you gotta try to underplay your total love for Crystal Skull by comparing it to other movies you thought was crap? Hey, I thought Terminator Salvation was a crap, but it was far more involving than Lucas and Spielberg's fucking SHITFEST OF A MOVIE... YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD, SO WATCH YOUR BLU RAY COPY OF CRYSTAL SKULL AGAIN AND FOOL YOURSELF INTO THINKING IT WAS A QUALITY EFFORT!!!
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I disliked KOTCS so intensely that I haven't purchased it on DVD or Blu-Ray to this day. The main reason for it, frankly, was the overuse of CGI that starkly contrasted with the practical effects work in the first three films. In other words, it just doesn't FEEL like an Indy film. If they really do minimize the CGI in the next film, it might be the fitting end to the franchise. But once burned, twice shy, so I have little faith that this part of the leak is accurate. My guess is this is a leak from a fanboy, and that Lucas will push for the same level of CGI effects, the will of the fans be damned.
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...'nuff said.
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June 9, 2010, 6:06 a.m. CST
'Old fashioned' sounds good to me. Rinzler's book is amazing
by Mr Nicholas
by the way. Even call sheets from Raiders are in there.
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Oh what...are you going to cry now? Well, are you?
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*POOM*
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i dont have a problem with Shia,but i have a problem with Shia in an Indiana Jones movie. Its just that gormless look on his face...please...stop.It kills Harrison's cool
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I have no interest in Indy 5. Indy 4 WAS easily one of the worst experiences I ever had in a theater. The fact is, the Indy movies where great because they were fun. We had never seen anything like it. It was two film makers who were dreaming about such films their entire lives and finally had the reasources to make them. It was their life's work. They do not dream about anything now because they have accomplished so much. It has taken me a long time to accept this. I want them to be young again. I want them to make movies that I love, and think about and talk about. But they are not the same people they where back then. Like the big league pitcher that has lost his fastball. For George, it happened sometime after ESB. For Steven, it was after SPR. Neither has anything to be ashamed of EXCEPT being guilty of revisiting material that fans hold sacred and exposing it as populast garbage. They committed the sin of revealing the man behind the curtain. Instead, let them teach, let them help develope the next great wave of film makers with their vision and dreams and if we must see more Indy or even more SW, let a young HUNGRY film maker have a crack at it.
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nah, not at all.
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I would rather watch a tv test pattern than this bullshit.
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... and this is how you do it? You thought I'd get my dick cut off, instead you only blew it.
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i love Indy
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In the original IJ series I kinda always felt that while Indy was the hero of the piece, he always seemed to be a little out of his depth which instilled some sort of urgency or hightened level of threat. It just seemed absent from the last movie. There were missed opportunities. I fully expected more to happen in the scene where he and Mutt were entering the tomb. That huge slab of stone rocked forward separating the two. I fully expected some sort of raiders type contraption to kick off. But no. it just rocked back again and they were OK. The biggest threat to Indy in the movie was them having to run down stairs, like really quickly. BORING! The CGI was out of place too. I used to watch those films and think to myself "How did they do that?" Hell, we've even got hour long documentaries on the originals to show us the shit they went through to deliver an astounding scene. With Indy IV,it's just "We did it on a computer". Practical effects for me add the magic to a film like this. CGI removes any sense of danger. You can see it ain't real. I mean you know it's not real, but you can suspend you disbelief far easier if you know that you are looking at something tangable, rather than computer generated. I guess the best example I could give would be the opening sequence of ROTLA. Pits, spikes,darts and the huge MF boulder rolling toward him as he jumped through the spider webs and rolled out onto the jungle floor. None of that would have been anywhere near as impressive if done with CGI. Just my opinion and probably not worth a toss, but hey that's what Tbs are for...
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"this will be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way rather than the CGI efforts of the last movie" Bullshit. Lucas has moved so far away from physical stunts he doesn't even know how to write them anymore.
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I wish they had made that one, it sounded cool and mental, so are we going with Indiana Jones And The Curse Of Atlantis for the new one? <P> Indy finds an atrfifact that leads him to the Bemuda triangle and the bizarre forces within, inside he discovers the fabled lost city of Atlantis, and the threat that sunk the city all those years ago returns.....
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uw7y8mtvTLo
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In the first three films, Indy would have shot the Peruvian zombie ninja, not ease back on the hammer and let him go. That wasn't Indy.
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Monkey King ! Hell yes !
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Just asking questions.
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USA Today and Tweeter. Nothing to see here.
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Betcha Atlantis is under the Bermuda Triangle.
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June 9, 2010, 10:30 a.m. CST
Indiana Jones and Kevin Nealon in a dramatic role
by Those_arent_pillows
on the Scifi Channel
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Jar Jar Abrams's SHIT TREK is a complete piece of shit. Deal with it. a true Sf fan would know why. Crystal Skullfuck is very bad, yes, but it's still miles better then SHIT TREK. This is not a prais eof Crystal Skullfuck, but to show how fucking terrible SHIT TREK really is. It's so bad, only TRASHFORMERS 2 and 2012 mannaged to be worst. If you actually cared bout movies and SF, you would know it for sure.
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RAIDERS and TEMPLE OF DOOM. The rest are just poor imitations of the first movie, and pretty bad imatations at that.
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You got a link to the USA Today debunking?
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LOL.
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TEMPLE OF DOOM sucks royal monkey dick.
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You are as wrong as the creationists are about evolution. TEMPLE OF DOOM is a great Indy movie and a very good movie overall. Deal with it.
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I left the theater two years ago thinking that Indy IV was one Indy film too many!
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open mouth. Gum falls on his plate.
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"Gimme your hat." <p> "Why?" <p> "Because I'm gonna throw up in it."
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June 9, 2010, 12:26 p.m. CST
My reaction to Indy IV = Indian village w/out Shankara stone
by finky089
I died inside and my youth disappeared
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Tell me about it. There are moments when i almost mannage to convince myself that INDY 4 never happened. Sometimes, i almost suceed.
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"WAAAAAAAAAAAA!" <p> KA-BLAM!"
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I chose poorly and my hopes for another fun Indy movie dried up and died in a horrendous scene (of nuked fridgery!)
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I live in Indy IV denial most of the time. Well, maybe "denial" is too strong, but I treat it like I treat the Star Wars expanded universe- it's there if you want to reference it, but otherwise easy to ignore since we have three great OT movies as "original cannon."
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once in the theatre and once again about a month after I received the DVD (which I did not buy - someone gave it to me. I ain't paying for Indy drek more than once!) <p> I hoped that a second viewing a year later without the hype might improve my opinion of the film. It didn't. Some things bugged me less than they did on the first viewing, but other things bugged me more.
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At some point in Indy5 Koepp needs to throw in a "homage" to this classic exchange: <p> Indiana Jones: Where did they go? Into space? <p> Harold Oxley: Not into space. Into the space between spaces.
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June 9, 2010, 12:59 p.m. CST
INDY 4 is better than most of the genre movies from that last de
by Stereotypical Evil Archer
But so many sad sacks wanted is to be THE BEST EVER! Wake up, for what it was (an Indiana Jones Film) it wasn't too bad. The fridge was a gag, so were the monkeys. What Temple of Doom was to Raiders, Crystal Skull was to Last Crusade. That is the context of Indy 4. The extreme hate for it must relate be some kind of impotence that the geeks just don't understand and therefore cannot cope with. I wonder how many that hate on it actually own it or downloaded a copy... most of you.
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one from the last outing. Also, this time there could be no vine swinging either. Hope it is a better send off. Maybe Shia can earn the hat this time.
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I know most would hate to see this, but I think it would be really cool (especially with Spielberg on the film project) to have Indy fly to a certain desert salvage yard to help identify the freshly discovered planes from FLIGHT 19, and shake hands with the French investigator, Lacombe (from Close Encounters of the Third Kind) in a crossover scene.
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bury the hatchet for god's sake!
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... and he'll dry up just like Walter Donovan in Last Crusade.
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So they somehow get magically whisked away to Atlantis, find that it has some sort of advanced/divine technology and that they live in a utopian society (but with a price!), someone tries to steal it and ends up unleashing some sort of wrath or destroys it completely.
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aren't shooting next year. http://raven.theraider.net/sho wthread.php?p=472818&pos ted=1#post472818
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It's dead like The Hobbit. It's all just Lucasfilm trying to feel the hype on the next Indy.
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... via his tweet earlier today: http://twitter.com/LeDoctor/status/15795474772 "The rumor about INDY 5 is completely false. Nothing has changed, we are not shooting next year and still in the research phase..."
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For an Indy movie, INDY 4 was an horrendous pile of shit! Indy movies (RAIDERS and TEMPLE OF DOOM)were the yardstick for which all else was compared to. And compared to the yardstick set by those two Indy movies, INDY 4 is utterly terrible shit. There's an harsh irony in there somewhere.
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I may not know about sci fi but i know what a good movie is. You probably loved Dune and the first and third Star Treks, movies that most people watched and asked "What the fuck was that?" You also probably gave excuses to why Phantom Menace wasn't that great but still loved it. Don't give me shit about what real sci fi is, because most normal people don't care. If it were up to you, all sci-fi would be technical and boring and only for geeks.
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Dreamcatcher.. check it out. you'll see.
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... to say that INDY 4 is a better movie then most other genre movies released in 2008, that's not a praise of INDY 4, but a damning of how truly fucking bad most genre movies of that year really were. Thank fucking goodness for Christopher Nolan and his THE DARK KNIGHT and Jon Favreau for IRON MAN. Those two movies saved genre cinema made in Hollywood for the year 2008. INDY 4 was part of the problem, not the cure.
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You got it right, because i'm not some mindless dumb ass shit that goes after what is the vox populi of the moment and forget to know how to appreciate proper good movies just because they are not into "teh kewl". Fuck that shit. So, i not only know what good SF is, i know what good cinema is. Because i'm not a fucking fag ass slave of the fashion of the moment. The idiots who think that the first and 3rd Star Trek movies are bad, you know what they are? Fucking idiots who can't think for themselves unless somebody else tells them how to think. So there. Deal with it.<br><br>And don't you even dare to guess what kind of Sf i like or perfer, because as a proper true SF fan, i have favorite SF stories from all walks of life. Unlike you, i really like the stuff. unlike you, i'm not boud for the fashionable shit of the day. I even bet you are one of those who thinks that SF starts and ends with Star Wars, don't you? how mroe fucking lame can you get? That's not a Sf fan, that's a mindless robot who folows the heard, that's what. Deal with it, dude. About SF, it's way over your head. You are an amateur at best. If you want to know why, buy a brain. Amateur!
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... because most normal people don't care."<br><br>And most of your precious "normal" people voted for George W. Bush twice. So pardon me if i don't give a fuck what your precious normal people think. They were wrong on both accounts, deal with it, buy a brain and think once in your life. Think!
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It's nice to now I'm normal and not a hyper geek like you are.
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June 9, 2010, 4:32 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and AsimovLives' Lost Psychotropic Meds
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:33 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and AsimovLives' Lost Fun with Phonics Book
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:33 p.m. CST
Indian Jones and AsimovLives' Beaten Dead Horse
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:34 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and Rainman vs. Asimov Lives
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:35 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Asimov Lives Spam of Destiny
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:35 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Neverending Wrath of AsimovLives
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:36 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and Asimov Lives' Worn Out Keyboard
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:36 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the AICN Curse of AsimovLives
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:37 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and JJ Abrams Skin AsimovLives Alive
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:37 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Neverending Epic Lens Flares
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:38 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and AsimovLives Escape from Electroshock Therapy
by CAPTAIN_AMERICAS_COCK_SHAPED_HELMET
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June 9, 2010, 4:39 p.m. CST