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Baron Karza... on the flip side of THE SIXTH DAY opinion
Hey folks, Harry here with our old friend from the way back days... Baron Karza that feels the last scooper on THE SIXTH DAY must have scored some good toke toke, because he didn't find much of interest with this project. Now I am very familiar with the whole different strokes for different folks bit.... Hell... I liked THE HAUNTING remake... as did Moriarty and Roger Ebert... but it seems like we were in the Vast Minority. However, there is a chance that I might be getting a good look at this project this coming week. Keep your fingers crossed.... Harry out and tagging off to Baron Karza.... enjoy...
Hey Harry, this is Baron Karza. Sorry for the long absence, I've been
smashing the paltry forces of Commander Rann and that joke of a
girlfriend he's got, Marionette. I will pause for a moment as I
dismember Biotron and cross the dimensional breach to your universe to
weigh in on the Sixth Day, which I prefer to call the SIXTH SUCK.
You recieved a report Monday that was clearly from someone trying to
spin you. This happy reporter gamely chatted the story up in carefully
rehearsed studio fashion. Sorry, you'll find none of that here. I'm
interested in the truth. I read the script, and I think it smells like
rancid monkey dung.
What the hell? Your reporter compares this piece to SIXTH SENSE and
MATRIX. Truth be told, this is an attempt on Arnold's end to get back
to what made him big: if ya can't get Cameron rolling on T3, harken back
to THE RUNNING MAN, or TOTAL RECALL. Sounds good, you say? Well, your
reporter trumpets wonderful, intelligent story twists and compares it to
the FUGITIVE. I know for a fact that the razor-sharp writing of MATRIX
and SENSE isn't here. Comparisons to the FUGITIVE are apt though--we
all need another on-the-run story, don't we? That's some original
Hollywood plotting--I've never seen a movie that does that, where the
hero finds out a piece of scandalous information and then finds himself
on the run while he's hunted as a fugitive... What a fresh idea.
God knows I'm sick of this regurgitated crap. This is just a sci-fi
FUGITIVE with a cloning premise. Think of it as a sci-fi ERASER. Is
that you groaning in the back? Me, too. Isn't it time for Arnold to
get back to what made him good? Smart scripting with fantastical ideas
(CONAN, the above-mentioned movies, even TWINS)? Nowadays, he seems to
be going for the big idea and forgetting that he's gotta have great
writing.
Do I hear John Sayles? Yeah, John Sayles has done a draft. It was
incredibly... bland. Think about it. The guy that did MATEWAN
re-writing a sci-fi ERASER? Who's on the hooka pipe at the studios?
Whose bonehead idea is this? Re-writing APOLLO 13 makes sense.
Re-writing a high concept sci-fi actioner makes none. This is exactly
the kind of thinking that studios are infamous for--tossing an
incredibly talented person at the wrong project for all the right
reasons. Why aren't they hiring someone like JOHN MILIUS, who did CONAN
and RED DAWN. That guy understands the sort of popcorn audience
Arnold's got, and the big-boys-with-toys genre. Don't get me wrong, I
love John Sayles. I love Arnold. This is just another case of bad
casting.
Anyway, I just thought I would weigh in and try to expunge a little bit
of studio spin from your website. It's such a great site, I hate to
see the crap stains clog it up.
Now, where's that annoying Microtron?
Over and out,
Karza
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. . . but Sarin, I get the feeling you're a Mickey Rourke fan. I know, I know, you all think I'm psychic or something, some sort of mid reader, able to delve into the inner bowels of Rufus' mind. But you see, there's a trick, how I came upon this discovery - HE MENTIONS HIM IN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POST.
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You prick, Arnold is NOT a Nazi. I would kick the shit out of you if I knew where you lived. It is shit for brains like you why a film like THE FIGHT CLUB was invented (I can't wait to see it). Me and you would enter the fight but you would end up on the 6:00 news as "piece of shit who died because he opened his fat mouth on Harry's site". GO EAT SHIT and DIE. To Harry, Moriarty and all other decent talk backers, sorry for my foul mouth but that idiot fool SARIN RUFUS got me pissed off for his Nazi remark. Arnold doesn't deserve that.
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If I had to make a list of 'movies that get a lot of shit that are actually pretty good' I would put ERASER near the top. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MOVIE? Eraser was really good, it's one of the reasons I'm so excited for DOC SAVAGE. Eraser was one of those rare movies that took itself seriously, which is exactly what DOC SAVAGE needs to do! The man with crimsom-hued fingers! "DEATH" he croaked! Back on subject! Arnold was a butt-kicking butt-kicker in Eraser. What's her face, Vanessa Williams did a good job! James Caan, he was cool! OK! Some of the effects in ERASER were iffy. Since I KNOW that's all geeks really care about, no matter how much they pine for plot. Eraser was action-packed. It never let up, or got bogged-down! We, as a country, really NEED more butt-kicking movies with simple plots. Before you flame me, look over at your DVD of Die Hard. Flames extinquished. This whole 'nicey-nicey' trend is sickening! America needs to grow a pair! Eraser was a movie in which everyone got killed! Body counts make good movies! Before you flame me, look over at your copy of Braveheart. I loved the cheesy lines in Eraser such as "You're luggage" or "They had to catch a train". I really miss the good 'ole days of cool-ass lines like that! Yes, they're lame, but that's why they're great! I can still remember jumping out of my seat in the theatre when Arnold said his classic words "You're fired." That was the BEST! Anyway, people should get off this 'plot' and 'script' kick.
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