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Harry wrestles with the colossal failure known as Ridley Scott's ROBIN HOOD
SPOILER ALERT !!
What is it about the story of Robin Hood that keeps us coming back?
For me, it isn’t the stealing from the rich to give to the poor. That’s the populist hook. I’m also not a die-hard when it comes to the romance of Robin and Marion, though I do love that part of the story. Is it merely his Badassery with a Bow and a sword? Is it his merry band? The quarterstaff fight that happened to introduce him to his best friend Little John? No.
For me – when you boil everything away. What I love about the ROBIN HOOD mythology is the concept that Robin loved his king, so much – that when a plot to dispose of King Richard was hatched by his lesser brother, John… that it was a knight from the wrong side of the tracks – that helped to organize a revolt. That sought to protect those that could not protect themselves. He used terror to strike fear into the corrupt puppet government that was bleeding the people dry.
ROBIN HOOD, while being distinctly British as a story, is the very essence upon which the dream of America was formed… to me. When the government is unjust, it is the duty of its citizens to set it right, no matter how hard that road may be.
It is a lesson meant to empower a disenfranchised populace to demand more from their government. To become more involved. BUT at its heart, there is love for what their Government SHOULD be. There’s a patriotism that has a critical quality to it, that I just love.
Support, within reason.
So… What was Ridley Scott & Brian Helgeland’s favorite thing about Robin Hood?
Apparently – they didn’t like a single thing about the character or his story. Other than the fact that Robin Hood is pretty good with a bow. Not supernatural. He misses a shot early in the film, which would’ve pretty much made the film a 25 minute short story – that still would have irked the living shit out of me. But he had to miss that shot, for the film to move on with its tale.
Ok. Let’s get into this.
First and foremost – this amazing cast that they put together – is completely and totally wrong for the story they’re attempting to tell with these characters.
Russell Crowe is 47 years old. That’s already 7 years older than the average life expectancy of a man living in the time of Robin Hood. And when Sean Connery played Robin Hood, he was 47. Of course, he was cast as an aging Robin Hood – having fought in two Crusades… returning to England with nothing left to live for, save maybe his Marion, played by the amazing Audrey Hepburn.
Only, this is a prequel. A story that allegedly takes place prior to the key events of the Robin Hood mythology. So automatically – there’s just something that rings untrue about it all. For a film that goes through excruciating efforts to get the period right, it totally screws the pooch with the casting & pretense of its main character.
BUT – ya know what. I gave them that. As I watched the film, it is evident that while Russell Crowe is obviously a man in his 40s – that in this version of the 12th Century – Man commonly lived into their late sixties – as is evidenced by characters throughout the film. I’m just gonna say it was a hard life and men aged faster than they do now – and a 46 year old man was probably the way your typical late twenties man would look in the 12th Century.
Fine, whatever.
By the time the movie started – I decided to just set aside a lot of my problems with this story and just see what it was that Ridley did with it. He’s a filmmaker that generally I have given a lot of respect towards – and if he wanted to break down the Robin Hood legend – and attempt to tell it as some “true story” style thing – with a late 40s Russell Crowe… so be it.
I like Russell Crowe – and he is quite good in the film. Far better than Costner. And had they told the story of Robin Hood with Russell Crowe, I probably would have loved it. But instead – Brian Helgeland decided to do a rewrite of A KNIGHT’S TALE if you applied Robin Hood to that story.
You have a group of scurvy lower class men that happen upon a scene of an ambush, where some English Noblemen were attacked by the French. Robin and his merry band (in France) fight off the French – to then rob the corpses of their fellow noble countrymen – only to find an injured right hand man of the now dead King Richard… who is nearly dead. This man is Robert of Locksley. He’s dying. He requests of the younger “Robin” to take his father’s father’s sword back to his father in Nottingham… and Robin is just a nice enough guy to do it. After Robin presents King Richard’s crown to the Queen Mother – he and his band ride off to Nottingham, where he meets Marion Locksley… no longer Maid Marion – you see – she was married to Robert, who went off on a Crusade a week later – apparently never having consummated their wedding – Oh – by the way, I just looked up the spelling of Locksley. Locksley is how it is traditionally spelt. However, the filmmakers have decided, like everything else, to throw that out and make it Loxley. FYI.
So… How does Russell and Cate hook up?
Well, Old Blind Man Locksley – Max Von Sydow – decides that this Robin Longstride (who he just happens to know his forgotten history, how convenient) should pretend to be his son, something he had been doing, and pretend to be Marion’s husband, so that when he dies – Marion could still run Nottingham. Seriously.
Meanwhile – King John is banging some French lady, a distant relative to the King of France. John has basically put Mark Strong in charge of collecting taxes – he’s essentially a Guy of Gisborne style bad guy – but called Godfrey – and Godfrey is working with the King of France to create Civil War in England, so France could just conquer. So – Godfrey is running around with a band of like 400 French soldiers, in French Uniforms – raping and pillaging, murdering and burning every small burg in the hill country of Northern England… And none of the retarded knights and lords of those areas notice the French folks killing, raping and burning – they just read the notice placed upon a town posting post – and decide they all need to kill the king.
Max von Sydow tells Robin Longstride that he’s the son of a philosopher stone cutter who essentially pens the rough draft of the Magna Carta, which historically was known as ARTICLES OF THE BARONS. Which sort of goes with everything in this film – because this isn’t really a movie about Robin Hood – it is a film about King John’s early rule and what led to these Articles. And what Mark Strong’s Godfrey is doing – is essentially what led to the events that led to the signing of that document which – historically speaking is what eventually led to the Magna Carta.
And honestly – a movie called KING JOHN – about the injustices that gave rise to the royalty being legally held accountable for their actions, and that could have been an interesting story. In fact – it kinda is.
But putting ROBIN HOOD in the middle of all this history – is basically like …
Well, it’d be like doing the ALAMO as history with Pecos Bill.
Putting Little John, Maid Marion, Friar Tuck, Will Scarlett, the Sheriff of Nottingham, etc – all in the midst of this larger story of England as a whole – in a pre-Myth history… just comes across as being fucking ridiculous.
By the time Marion comes riding onto a beach leading an awesome force of feral children on Horseback – in full Custom Armor that was way cooler than the armor she wore in ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE. And she goes Marion Warrior Princess… but ends up laying in the surf gurgling salt water as Robin roars in slow motion repeatedly coming out of water - well… it gets real embarrassing.
Embarrassing.
You see… as a historical film set at the dawn of the 13th Century – the film is moderately entertaining, but the history disarms the vitality of the story of ROBIN HOOD.
By trying to tell the truth of the era – it just makes Robin Hood… frankly a stupid story. Because he doesn’t belong in HISTORY, but in Legend.
Because Robin Hood isn’t a story of the 13th century. It’s really a story and a legend of the 16th century when it became a popular story that was told and retold. Sung about and performed. Robin Hood was the seeds of revolt in a time that gave way to the colonies revolting – and just a general feeling amongst the populace that they were no longer going to be happy with being trounced upon.
Robin Hood is a romanticized shorthand for the revolt that took place during King John’s time. And historically, ROBIN HOOD doesn’t work, because it absolutely does not work with the FACTS of history. SO…
FUCK HISTORY.
Tell the legend of Robin Hood.
This is another, in a long line of films that just come across as being stupid because the filmmakers that took the story on got so bogged down by THE REALITY – that they forgot to dream. ROBIN HOOD is a populist story about Tax Revolt. A very popular concept.
But in adapting Robin Hood’s origins with the basic steps of A KNIGHT’S TALE, burying him within a very convoluted and mishandled telling of the Baron revolt that took place under John and a really ridiculous Beach sequence – I find myself looking at the title and wondering…
What the fuck does any of this have to do with Robin Hood?
The result is a very aggravating and pointless film. It is obvious that Brian and Ridley felt passionate about the history of the time, but they ruined the history by combining it with a Legend that they completely render impotent.
By the time you have King John burning up the agreement he had signed, which led to the ultimate revolt that took place – but then cutting to Robin & Marion and his merry band in Sherwood Forest with a gaggle of feral children. It just hurt my head.
Intellectually – I could see the various pieces they were trying to smash together – but it just doesn’t work.
You can’t really compare this film to Errol Flynn’s ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD – and at the same time, you can’t compare it to Costner’s either. Because this is absolutely not the story of Robin Hood. Instead, you kind of have to marry this to ROBIN & MARION. This is a hodgepodge reinvention. Taking from history, legend and other works altogether unrelated.
There’s a reason why Michael Curtiz’s ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD and Flynn’s Robin Hood will never ever be threatened by films hamstrung by the HISTORICAL FACTS of the day. Stories like ROBIN HOOD, IVANHOE, the Arthurian tales… these are not history, they’re legend, myths and literature. As such – you’re not bound by history.
But then… that’s why Ridley Scott was not the right man to retell Robin Hood. Ridley drinks in historical detail. And this film lovingly recreates the era. And the film is to be admired for it’s production design – but frankly… that’s about it.
The whole time while watching the film I kept thinking – “I love these sets, they’d be perfect for a Robin Hood movie.” Sadly, there was no Robin Hood to be seen. Instead, all that talent was wasted on a movie called ROBIN HOOD, that never wants to tell that story. It is a film that hates its titular subject, but loves its time and place.
The film works as an observable work – just not an involving one.
This is actually my least favorite Ridley Scott film. It is a conceptual failure with too few bright spots and no real point for existing. It is a colossal failure and waste of time, talent and story-telling. The individual elements – actors, sets, costumes, make-up, props… well, they’re all quality – they’re just never terribly interesting. About 40 minutes from the end, I just wanted it to end. I contemplated leaving the theater – but felt I owed it to Ridley to finish the film – see if he redeemed it in some way.
But in all their conversations – I do wonder. Did they ever want to just tell the legend of Robin Hood? Just tell a badass, intense telling of the legend? It just seems nobody was excited or particularly happy to tell this story. It’s all rather dreary and humdrum.
I’ve seen the story told better at Renaissance Faires. Disney did it better. Fairbanks and Flynn – much better. If ever there was a film that deserved to be received with a resounding box office THUD sound, it is this.
I expect far better from all involved. These are some of the best talents we have – they were afforded great latitude in telling this story.
I know. I’m the one lone crazy guy that really liked the recent NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET – but I absolutely honestly feel the Platinum Dunes guys have far more respect for their material than Ridley did with this. And that is the most frustrating thing of all to me. I just want filmmakers to love their material, to feel that from their work. Here, you get the idea that the story of ROBIN HOOD was too inconsequential… too light for Ridley to deal with. And they are right.
Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett and Ridley Scott absolutely should never have made a ROBIN HOOD movie. Cate is not a lady in waiting, so of course they radically reinvent her role.
Like IMAGINE’s woeful telling of THE ALAMO a few years back – Grazer and Howard seem to be producing a series of films that drain all the power of the legends they tell. They’re telling versions of these stories that serve to lay flaccid, useless to anyone. They’re passionless material, without any real dramatic heights, no nail-biting suspense, no true romance or thrilling action.
There are very few things that hurt as much as seeing a story you love told devoid of every element that made you love it. This is the husk of Robin Hood. The discarded dead skin that the legend sprung from – and at the end of the film – you just wonder… Why did we focus on the caterpillar, when they should have shown the butterfly.
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ZING! just kidding big guy love yeah, also... first?
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May 12, 2010 4:06:25 PM CDT
I'm still wrestling with the colossal failure known as "Across t
by crispin_glovers_acid_flashback
This season has been such shit.
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Fingers crossed for the finale...oh, who gives a fuck anymore?
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because he doesn't proofread
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And I liked Kingdom of Heaven.
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and how utterly awful it was and how I don't care anymore, I really could live with never watching the finale episodes.
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Harry hated it so there must be something worth watching in it then.
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Oh - I proof read - I just feel sometimes the aggravation one feels as a writer on material that is so insanely aggravating - that self-repetition is a way of expressing just how aggravating the aggravating aspects of this aggravating film... well, you know, it is aggravating.
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Normally I would be very excited about a Ridley Scott historical "epic" but there was nothing about this film leading up to its release that had me even mildly interested. At least there will always be the Kingdom of Heaven: Director's Cut, easily one of the most under-rated movies of the past decade.
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if you read the review I talk about a lot of what is good about the film. EVERYTHING but the story.
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If you read nationalist scottish websites, you can be led to believe this. However, it is, in fact, a load of old horse shit.
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May 12, 2010 4:17:45 PM CDT
Harry, is it better than the Disney cartoon?
by crispin_glovers_acid_flashback
You know the one with the foxes and that catchy song?
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None of the trailers have been interesting or exciting. I will pass on this.
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I couldn't agree more about you review. FUCK HISTORY. History is written by conquerors. Who knows what the truth is anymore?
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May 12, 2010 4:20:10 PM CDT
so it's a film both historians & robin hood fans can both love t
by realdoublej
If you can't please either audience, piss all over them. You're still getting paid. Best review this year Harry, pretty much nail on hammer action
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Best Robin Hood movie ever.
"Hey Blinkin!" "Did you say Abe Lincoln?" -
curses
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Good review...From what you say, it seems the film takes familiar characters & uses them to tell a new, less interesting story. That instantly reminded me how I felt about Burton's Wonderland...I was hoping for a new version of the classic tale, but instead got a "sequel" where Alice returns but still engages in many of the same activities from the original.
There's enough source material for both of these mythologies to make interesting films...there's no need to re-create/amend them and/or make up completely new stories!!! Same goes for superhero films...there's already plenty of characters out there, there's no need to create new ones (i.e.- Rourke's Whiplash in IM2). -
"aggravation one feels as a writer"
Harry - you're not a writer. You run a site and post your opinion, but you're not a writer. One reason—of many—is you don't know how to spell either 'lose' or 'no one' -
The Holocaust? I was talking about ancient history. Not history that has been on film and documented thouroughly and has survivors that said, "Um yeah, it really happened."
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Didn't read the whole review (yet), but wanted to chime in on the 47 years old / life expectancy thing. This is a commonly misunderstood aspect of historical periods: that if the life expectancy was 40, once you hit 39 you had on average 1 year to live. That's not the case. Life expectancy was so low back then because babies and young children died all the time. All the time. Way more than they do now. If you have 10 people, and half of them live until they're 79 and half of them die at age 1, the life expectancy is 40 years old. So, if you made it out of your kiddie years, you all of a sudden were a lot closer to living a full life as we think of it now.Of course, I'm not saying that old folks back then all lived as long as they do now. Of course they didn't, they still would die on average earlier. But not that much earlier.
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seem to love it. Mind you, most of them will give anything 9 out of 10 if it means they'll get their name on a poster.
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I greatly prefer the Disney version. I love it.
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at least that was an interesting spin.
John Cleese in Time Bandits is still my fave Hood -
When I read the line about stealing from the rich to give to the poor, I envisioned guerilla art showing the character's face digitally altered to look like The Joker from The Dark Knight with "SOCIALISM" beneath it. Only, I'm not sure what kind of statement it would make. If I had to guess, it'd be a kind of mockery of the original Obama art that later had the word tacked on. Disclaimer: I do not regard Obama as a socialist.
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This has to be one of the best thought-out, best-written reviews you've ever done, Harry. My interest in this version of Robin Hood was pretty slight as it was, despite the fact that I love Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott. You pretty much cemented my decision on whether or not to see it. We'll see what others feel first, but your review pretty much sums up what I was already fearing about this movie.
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and i'll take a pass on this movie. russel crowe looks he's been hitting the sauce all day every day for 30 years.
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I just think it look boring, so I'm going to see Bad Lieutenant instead.
And I agree with Bruce B - the trailers did look wrong all along. -
John Cleese in the Time Bandits. Cracks me up everytime.
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Sounds 'not so bad', and to borrow a phrase from the great Leslie Howard as fictional literature's first great super crime fighter, Sir Percy Blakeney;
"there is nothing quite so bad as something that's 'not so bad'."
Particularly bad when I think of how great it would have been if it had attempted to make it a remake of 'Robin and Marion', which I've always found to be the most engaging of all the Robin Hood legend interpretations. -
BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS is the far better way to invest your time. Even if it is seeing the film for the 20th time.
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Well said. I jump on the hate wagon when you proclaim your undying love for suckish movies, but for some reason, seeing you slam a movie restores my faith in you. I think it's because there's not much that you don't like, and if you don't like it, it means I should probably stay the fuck away. Hell. I didn't hate GI Joe.
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1. Is the action good?
2. Could there be a directors cut? -
On the other hand, Crowe is still in perfect form to join with Paul Bettany to do another Master and Commander episode.
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because I will see the movie this weekend and want to keep the experience pure, but then will come back and read it.
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This means that I will love it.
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Are you talking about the kids' TV show or the more recent Robin Hood program? Because if you're talking about the latter, I'm going to have to agree with you. That show was awesome.
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May 12, 2010 4:45:21 PM CDT
Harry says he doesn't love the robbing the rich giving to the po
by moore12
you say you like Robin Hood because he helps protect the those that cannot protect themselves. So he is basically helping the poor?
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ITV's Robin of Sherwood from the mid-80s. Brilliant atmosphere, camerawork and score by Clannad.
"I am Herne the Hunter, and you are a leaf driven by the wind."
Fuckin' right. -
I agree the trailers are way off.
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Harry, you seemed to be doing a lot of pre-judging on this review.
The movie didn't fit with your historical knowledge of the time period and so it lost you as a viewer very early on. And as the historical mistakes piled up you became more and more annoyed with the film.
Sounds like your own baggage killed the film for you?
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Actually I meant the kids show - messin around really - & I gotta say I zoned out of the recent version during series 1. But I hear they amped it up toward the end, so I'm itching to catch the rest...
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And I refuse to believe that Ridley Scott made a worse movie than the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET remake.
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He (rightfully) slagged of Terminator Salvation, but XxX and Van Helsing still linger in the memory.
That said, the trailers for this did look dull. -
May 12, 2010 4:50:00 PM CDT
So Robin Hood a colossal failure but Iron Man 2 wasn't?
by hollywoodhellraiser
Ooookkkkkaaaayyy.
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version. That was very cool at the time, not seen it since
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The trailers for this movie are just uninspiring. Normally a movie like this would be up my alley, especially given all the talent involved. Just haven't had a great feeling about this film.
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They can't even prove the man ever existed. You know cause nobody was fucking literate during the time he was fabled to exist. BUT FUCK HISTORY. Maybe you should try reading some. LMAO!!!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcCdhegvjew
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Had pretty low expectations going in, but was pleasantly surprised.
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Haven't seen the film yet, but it seems to me Harry doth protest too much. Robin Hood is a mythic figure. Like all mythic figures he can be re-invented as story-tellers like. Maybe the audience will go along, maybe they won't. As for the history part, well, I'm not going to see a movie called "Robin Hood" to see a historically accurate film. Sounds to me like they've combined an interpretation of Robin Hood with a story suggested by historical events, overlaid with a good dollop of fiction. Sounds fair. Suspension of disbelief and all that. I'm a huge fan of Errol Flynn and "The Adventures of Robin Hood," but I'm willing to entertain other interpretations. This movie might suck, but if it does it will be because the script, acting, and/or direction fail, not because it ain't your daddy's Robin Hood or your momma's history book.
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"Grown-up but not too serious; action-packed but not juvenile… Not only is this the mullet-free Robin Hood movie we’ve been waiting decades for, it’s also Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe at their most entertaining since Gladiator." Empire magazine 4/5.
Hmmm... -
I'm appalled you guys, die-hard PIXAR fans, wouldn't report on such a story.
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I'll decide after his next movie
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My wife really wants to see this. Is it appropriate to dump my wife off to watch this junk while I go see Iron Man 2 again?... I think so.
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fat guy with a beard,you already know that there is something wrong with the movie.
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I was really interested when I first heard this film was going to be about Nottingham. They were going to make him the hero and make Robin Hood the villain. As soon as they destroyed that idea and decided to make another Robin Hood that was "real", I knew it was going to blow. Harry maybe wrong at time with his reviews, but everything he talks about is what I feared would happen to a once promising project.
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May 12, 2010 5:13:59 PM CDT
Another poorly written 'review' from Harry...
by turd_has_risen_from_the_grave
I couldn't make head 'nor tail of it. Whatever: Harry's consensus - NOES '10 is fantastic, Iron Man 2 massages his G-Spot, and Robin Hood is worse than 'GI Jane' (the prior worst Ridley Scott movie). Bravo, big chap - you've excelled yourself in stupidity this time.
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I'll watch this but I'm lowering my expectations beforehand. Never thought I'd do that with a Ridley Scott film.
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May 12, 2010 5:15:51 PM CDT
Ah, so, THIS was a 'colossal failure'; but Nightmare on Elm was
by helveticaconspiracy
Right. Sorry, Big Guy, love ya but I'm not buying it. Elm Street was a boring waste of time and I'm loving everything I'm seeing on Robin Hood. I hope you're wrong. No offense...
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May 12, 2010 5:17:00 PM CDT
Wow, it's like someone remaking THE BLOB without a Blob--
by the reluctant austinite
Oh wait. Someone is going to do that.
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Master thieves a la oceans 11, who rob from bailed out cororations and give to the forclosed and disenfranchised.
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wrong about Robin Hood...
Is the post I will lead with this weekend if the movie turns out to be good. -
Robin Hood. The book asked the question, if Robin Hood did exist, then who was he? The answer was, if I remember correctly, a yeoman who became a highway bandit. It wasn't terribly interesting. The more interesting question is why did the Robin Hood story resonate and why was it change during certain moments in history. It looks like this film tried to ask the first, unanswerable question, and failed miserably.
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I mean, you do know he's more or less a myth at this point, right?
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...and please don't say 'Gladiator'.
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Don't you mean overrated?
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May 12, 2010 5:36:17 PM CDT
Harry, did you feel the same way about KING ARTHUR?
by chronicallydepressedlemming
Because I felt the exact same way about that, as you do about this. I couldn't believe I was seeing a tale full of magic and myth was being handled like a brawl in mud.
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The biggest lie this site has ever tried to sell us.
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Lord of the Rings style. Every fantasy, historical film must now have a sword and sandle style battle. Its really quite boring. And who like these so-called historically accurate legends? I thought they failed eg King Arthur with Clive Owen. Accurate = boring!!!! Bring back the fantasy legend that made the story great. I'm with you Harry.
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I know the robin hood story already. If its something other than Robin Hood but still uses the names but is Medieval and great Im all for it. I love this stuff. -
Kudos to you sir. You got it right. Acapellaman, you fail the entire talkback for saying this was Harry's best thought out and best written review.
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Crowe, Blanchett, Scott - all the principles peaked in popularity years ago and the gritty historical epic has long had its day. Of course these things move in and out with the tides of popularity but as much as anything, it seems out of place in a blockbuster landscape that's centred more towards the future at the moment.
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Russ Le Roc , Russ le Roc with his merry men.
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May 12, 2010 5:41:55 PM CDT
Harry, iz it OK if I still rent it when it comes out on VIDEO ?
by matthooper
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Is an underrated piece of over-the-top lunacy. Rickman is batshit insane, the direction is totally bugged out, and though the movie is far from perfect, it is FUN -- a word that R. Scott knows little about.
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Bleh.
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hense harry's bad review, come on universal you need to be like Warners and ensure the fat man has his money before the film comes out or he won't write a good reviewDon't worry theres still time to pay up so when the bluray comes out harry can write "I didn't like this movie on first viewing. That said, watching it at home I fucking bugnuts loved it!"
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the musical. starring justin bieber.
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Ridley Scott is vastly overrated. People seem to finally be acknowledging it.
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And more epic than I remember!
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...,if its set in the future wit some laser arrows... til then i say good day
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Which automatically means the movie will panned. I'll do my trolling here, but I'll get my real movie reviews from Latinoreview.
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head in the sand, instead of acknowledging the obvious, that PIXAR is evolving into a sequel factory, trying to squeeze out as much profit out of their properties as they can, instead of breaking new ground, seeking out different and innovative ways to tell stories. PIXAR can get away with murder here, criticizing PIXAR is tantamount to treason, meanwhile Dreamworks gets zero respect.
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Saw this last week at a sneak preview. I think I fell asleep. If you follow redlettermedia.com all the same problems with ROTS and AOTCs are superimposed on this movie.
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worst review ive ever read
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Just got back from watching it tonight, superb recreation of 12th Century Britain with fiction expertly woven into historical fact. Great performances all round, great soundtrack, great visuals and of course great direction from Ridley. It is incomparable to King Arthur, a totally different league of film making. It is a solid, entertaining film and without question the best adaption of the Robin Hood myth consigned to screen. To say Robin Hood belongs to legend rather than history is a really fucking stupid criticism to make about a work of fiction, you didn't watch a documentary, you watched a movie! HBO's Rome did the same thing, historical inaccuracies combined with the stories of fictional characters (the only two soldiers Julius Caesar is ever recorded as mentioning, no detail about them other than an act of heroism in battle) but it worked. I guess Universal/Imagine didn't send you a goodie bag. Bullshit review.
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No set visits, no interviews, nothing. Hrrrmmm.... It really does make you wonder sometimes, the way this website is run. And yeah Craquette, I dunno WHY AICN is refusing to run the PIXAR cancelling "NEWT" story, I dunno if its bc PIXAR is focusing on sequels to Cars and Monsters Inc, but it is bizarre that AICN, a fervent CHAMPION of PIXAR, doesn't even mention it. The possible reason? AICN is fucking lazy as hell. They'll report on it tomorrow.
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May 12, 2010 6:08:03 PM CDT
"By the time the movie started – I decided to just set aside a l
by eddiemurphyslaugh
Stopped reading the review RIGHT THERE.
Harry made up his mind about this before even walking into it. I love a film reviewer who writes their reviews before seeing a film, or not at all (COUGHS KICK ASS COUGHS) -
McWeeney's at Hitfix review was as well. Ridley Scott gets the benefit of the doubt from me. Considering the track records of each "writer", their reviews are simply not convincing.
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Thinks his poop don't stink. For years now. And this one is little better than a TV movie with a bigger budget. The action is okay, but the story is not bloody Robin Hood. Period.
And little boy Carradine, I'd rather watch Iron Man 2, hell, Ghost Rider, IM2 made some little boys and their dads very happy, junior, so shut up you juvenile. Go ahead, fire back. Won't reply. A moron isn't worth more of my time. Meanwhile, go rent, if you don't own, the Errol Flynn classic. Or even the Richard Green Brit TV series. Those were Robin Hood. End of story. -
Dick sucking reviews are reserved for people Harry is sucking up to.
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I do it for you!!
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Ummm...what?
Ever see Blackhwak Down? Thelma and Louise?
As for the a-historical criticism, that's fair, I guess. The problem is trying to shoe-horn a certain mythology into real historical events. -
Part of the fun watching Robin Hood growing up was that he was just a cool outsider. Just wondering, Harry, if part of the problem with this film is that he is not an outsider for much of it? He is closely tied to the throne. I haven't seen the movie, but I inferred as much from your review.
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That was the best.
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...was that he was probably a minor highwayman bandit who became a folk hero because he bucked the unpopular Prince John. It was probably propaganda stoked up by John's Noblemen rivals, or people loyal to King Richard.
It just accreted all of the extra little details such as Friar Tuck later on. -
May 12, 2010 6:27:59 PM CDT
HARRY TOOK RIDLEY'S HEART OUT WITH A SPOON!
by stereotypical evil archer
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May 12, 2010 6:28:55 PM CDT
workshed said Scott hasn't made a 'great' film since
by crispin_glovers_acid_flashback
Bladerunner. And he's right.Blackhawk and Louise and are good movies, not greatness like Bladerunner.
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May 12, 2010 6:29:03 PM CDT
And you're all wrong. The best Robin Hood story ever was...
by hesiod2k7
...the Looney Toons cartoon with Porky Pig as Friar Tuck.
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Better than anything Cameron's put out in the past 20 years -- including Avatar.
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Crowe was born April 7, 1964, which by my calculation makes him just 46 years old by a month, 45 when he filmed Robin Hood. If you are so hung up on the age of the actor playing a character, at least get your numbers correct.
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If the criticism of Ridley Scott is that he hasn't put an alltime masterpiece on the screen since "Bladerunner" (and Alien just before that) -- but has only "hacked" his way through at least 3 or 4 extremely good films such as Blackhawk Down, Kingdom of Heaven, Thelma and Louise and Gladiator -- then that's not much of a criticism.
There are only a handful of directors who ever LIVED who made more than one masterpiece.
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ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
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Blanchett would make a kick ass Mauve!
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A curse on cleverness, irony, and the cool. There is little so insipid as radical reimaginings. Bring back storytelling, legends, beauty, and majesty.
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Incidentally.
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.....how this guy fishes to find a way to throw any praise in that Twilight movie's direction, but he goes the EXTRA mile to shred this Robin Hood movie in an exceptionally long fashion. This dude is not educated about cinema, nor is he objective. What a hack!
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I would have straight up loved the idea of telling the story we all know instead of what we're getting. I actually lost half of the interest I originaly had for this movie when I learned it was a prequel. I hate prequels, its just another form of revisionism as far as I'm concerned. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
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I found it to be a good enjoyable film, not mind meltingly awesome, but a decent break from all the CGI shit fests we have had this year. Yes it told a different spin but I found that refreshing and a lot better than other Robin Hood's. Although Alan Rickman is still the best Sheriff
I could be biased coz I worked on the film but I recognise its not as Amazing as it could have been, plus I noticed some huge chunks of stuff was missing (some I would consider very vital to the plot) but overall it was good, just get your stick out your ass Harry and enjoy films for what they are -
He should of done a prequel to Gladiator. Nothing is cooler than Ancient Rome.
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May 12, 2010 6:46:50 PM CDT
How did it compare With Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves?
by merlin_ambrosius
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It being the season finale and all!
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Dude. You have zero fucking credibility. I swear, you're just kissing ass and settling scores with your reviews.
I do not doubt this film is flawed: but I am willing to bet it's far superior to that recent Nightmare on Elm Street remake you creamed you jeans about last week. -
...in TV or Movie form is the Middle Republic. The time of the Punic Wars was an incredibly interesting period.
The late Republic, with Julius Caesar is extremely overtold. As is the early Empire in period surrounding the birth of Jesus.
Gladiator was a bit refreshing in that it dealt with the High Empire. But, when Rome was still a true Republic was when it was most cool and interesting, IMHO.
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May 12, 2010 6:49:13 PM CDT
I liked the Old BBC Robin Hood starring Jason Connery!
by merlin_ambrosius
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May 12, 2010 6:49:34 PM CDT
"only to find an injured right hand man of the now dead King Ric
by not the messiah
Que?
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A friend of mine who was an extra on the set said everybody loved Cate, and that Russel Crowe was a REAL Asshole to everyone!
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May 12, 2010 6:51:14 PM CDT
Gladiator is great; KoH director's cut is great
by turd_has_risen_from_the_grave
Harry says this movie is Scott's worst, and quite frankly, there's no way in hell Robin Hood is worse than GI Jane, White Squall, A Good Year, and Hannibal. Another overly-emotive so-called review from Harry, who clearly can't get past his love for Eroll Flynn in green tights.
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May 12, 2010 6:51:58 PM CDT
Wasn't there a Robin Sit Com with Duncan Reigher in the 70's?
by hesiod2k7
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do a TV spoof called When Things Were Rotten?
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It was a Mel Brooks produced Robin Hood sitcom.
It was the precursor to "Robin Hood: Men in Tights." -
I've written a screenplay called "Batman: Revelations" that serves as a sequel to "The Dark Knight". The first scene is someone catching up with Coleman Reese and asking him... questions. I'm honestly looking for opinions from fellow movie lovers. You can find the whole script at:
http://tinyurl.com/378ew9n
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My bad.
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what were they thinking?
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KOH was wonderful, a fluke, but the huge success of Gladiator mostly disarmed him and made him a studio drone disguised as an auteur. American Gangster: Mediocre. A Good Year: Awful. Body Of Lies: Eh. This: Ugh.
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with basic grammar, sentence construction and spelling.
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That's the one I was thinking of from the early 1980's. It starred George Segal as Robin and Morgan Fairchild as Marian.
What a piece of crap that was. LOL! Although Tom Baker played Guy of Gisborne and Roddy McDowell played Prince John.
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but with the right material I think he can be a great director again... man I hope they get a good Alien script going.
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Harry's grammar. The reason why so many of his sentences are fragments and he- breaks them- up, so many times- is because he's a really big, out of shape guy and in real life he could never speak for that long without running out of breath.
Um...it was a good review, though. I'm kinda high right now, so I'll read it again when I've straightened out a little. You gave it a rave, right? -
It "deserves" to fail with a big thud at the box office? Who the fuck do you think you are? By all means review the film, say you hate it, but saying it DESERVES to fail financially just because your dumb fuck of a mind wasn't sufficiently entertained makes you look like a uber douche. Fuck you Harry.
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...Gladiator.For all of its historical inaccuracies and legendary editing mistakes, the film is a testament to great storytelling and amazing production design. Crowe's Maximus has to be one of the greatest period-piece protagonists ever to grace film. And ironically enough, I chuckled to myself when I first saw the trailer for it in a theater. It looked like a completely uninteresting waste of time.The previews for Robin Hood haven't exactly seemed like this movie is destined for greatness. But you never know. What I DO know, is that everyone here who is suddenly saying "Awwww, so I guess this means it sucks, and I was actually looking forward to it," needs to stop being so god damn dramatic and take this review with its well-deserved grain of salt.
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Good grief - how does something with this much star power and this big a budget end up relying on such a stupid, convoluted, absurd, outlandish plot such as this? It sounds like a combination of empty filler plus ridiculous shoe-horning in of all the classic characters...who never met until the later Robin Hood stories we all know.Sigh.
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I like Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, and some of Ridley Scott. But I thought that film was a boring pile of pretension, melodrama, and implausibility.Just casting a vote. Give me Master & Commander any day.
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now i know what to expect going into this film. i appreciate you going out of your way to write this review. you usually only do positive reviews. it's funny, cause i kinda sensed from the trailer that this was how the film was going to be and it was making me really not want to watch it. now that i know what the story is that they tell... i'm actually interested finally.
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Just buy a tropical island somewhere if you haven't already, and live out your days there. Your time is over. Thanks for the memories!
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Harold--you, of all people, are bitching about realism and believability in a fuckin' Robin Hood movie-?! Really? Russell Crowe can't do this movie because he's too old? 47 doesn't ring true here-but you are just hunky and dory w/ your friend Cokey's little clusterfuck of WWII w/ Brad Pitt and Eli Roth? Wow gee Credibility here pallie. Look up Belisarius sometime or Narses. Look at what Narses-a 75 year old Eunuch for crissakes-did in the 500's in the Gothic Wars in Italy. You're sadly misinformed here Harold. Sure Robbing Hood should be under 40 and running around doing the Errol Flynn stuff. But that ain't gonna play too well now. I look forwards to your gushing review of the next Cokey or Richard Rodriguez abomination Sirrah. Remember you spooged horribly for Watchmen. Watchmen was garbage. You may wanna re-think this.
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Robin Hood isn't real at ALL anyway, he's a myth.
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it has been peeking m interest lately, and its the one film Harry HATES?
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How can you like that over-rated POS called "Gladiator" and not like this shit? Scott must be off his speed-dial.
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This review doesn't even scratch the surface of why this isn't a good movie. There's nothing wrong with the casting or anything considering the world of the film. The main problem is in the structure of the script. You have 3 villains, that take the emotional edge of Robin's journey, and none of them are in any way connected to the hero. There is no relationship between the villains and the hero. None. After returning the crown Robin is a completely unmotivated character as well, hence we don't give a crap about his story. He just does stuff because he thinks it's right, there is no emotional link between the character and his deeds. They play the father angle but it's too weak since it's revealed to the audience far too late, and by that time we already sat through 1.5 hours and don't give a crap. If they played it early, Robin would have something to fight for, and the audience something to cheer him on for. Like this, it's just a complete emotional separation between the Hero and the audience. That's just the basic structure flaws, the movie is also painfully slow in some long parts of act 2, there are way too many important players as well, and the film is very unfocused. Sure, Robin is clearly the protagonist, but then you're also jumping around in the story following at least 5 more characters. I don't want to go too far in to detail, because the film just isn't worth it.
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...10 years ago. He's really gotten puffy and haggard looking, not unlike the terrible aging of Alec Baldwin. At least Baldwin had the good sense to give up action heroing and move into TV comedies. Also, Ridley Scott has really become a has-been. I dread his Alien prequel. Also someone mentioned LOST here in the wrong TB. Lost is the only show that both jumped the shark and nuked the fridge at the same time. A BSG finale-level epic fail. But at least BSG was just the victim of idiot decision-making. The stupid BSG finale didn't actually deliberately negate everything that happened in all it's preceding seasons as is the case with Lost. I doubt I'll even bother watching next week's ep and the (Christ!) two-and-a-half HOUR finale. Might DVR it to watch during the doldrums of summer, though when it's so hot outside all I wanna do is stay inside and get ripped. But granted, none of this has anything to do with Scott's Robin Hood, besides all the suckage, that is. Sorry for the lengthy digression there Harry.
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at the box office. It wont even be around in a few weeks. James Cameron must be laughing his ass off.
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getting a bad review.ridleys no robert rodriguez
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... When Things Were Rotten?
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They even changed the names slightly.
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...IM2 hasn't even had its 2nd weekend yet dude. How many people leave a hard day at work and think: "I think a movie would be just the thing right now!"? Clueless!
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I’m just getting out of the theater and in spite of a bastard commenting throughout the whole movie, I loved it for the same reason Harry hated it: It was a very different take from the Curtiz masterpiece.
Those latter weeks, I’ve made myself a “Robin Hood festival”. “The adventures of Robin Hood” is simply one of my favorite movies of all time and it was a real treat to see for the first time with my 6 y.o. daughter. After that most of the followers looked like… followers. Even the good ones. “Bandit of Sherwood Forest” is charming, Don Taylor was solid in “Men of S.F.”, even Giulianno Gemma is fun in “L’arciere di Sherwood”, but finally they all try to re-tell a story already perfectly told. The two that tried to be different are unsatisfactory : “Robin and Marian” has its moments but is dramatically weak, and the John Irvin “Robin Hood” is an interesting take on the seminal Celtic origin of this story but lacks ultimately of panache.
In a way, the Ridley Scott movie takes the two most interesting things in those two movies (Robin being a professional warrior from the Lester flick, and the English/paganist point of view from the Irvin’s one) and pushed the envelope to make it something more significant. So no, this Robin Hood is not the playful but fundamentally honest and loyal/patriotical hero we love (and America certainly needed in 1938), he’s much more than that. Scott and Helgeland see in him nothing less than the personalization of the will of a Magna Carta. Historically, it’s not stupid as this document was obtained against John Lackland, Robin’s usual Nemesis. And after movies like “Kingdom of Heaven” or “Body of Lies”, I find it quite relevant in the Ridley Scott corpus.
What strikes me in your words, Harry, is the severity that seems to condemn ambition. Most online reviews on this film are at best so-so and that kinda surprised me compared to the praises a tepid movie like “Iron Man 2” harvested. But, after giving it some thoughts, it appeared to me as quite comprehensible. The vast majority of the reviews comes from the U.S.A. and Ridley Scott as surprisingly as it seems in a PG rated Universal produced movie doesn’t give an Hollywoodian vision of the character. On the contrary, he steels it back from America to make it again a completely British character. The superb aerial shots that fly over the England landscapes before the final battle let not ambiguity. “Robin Hood” is simply an ode to his country, a vibrant dramatization of its construction as a democracy.
Oh, I forgot to say I also found it truly spectacular and fun.
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Worldwide it's doing great, but here in the U.S. it's kinda struggling.
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What shallow idiotic dumbass Harold Knowles is.
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That if its indeed so crap,that means that Sir Riddley has lost it for good.But Riddley is now making the Alien prequel,and if he has indeed lost it,then that means that the future of the Alien prequel does not deem very well.
In other words,dont have high hopes for a great new Alien movie,if Riddley is not in his prime anymore.Hope for at least a decent flick if not a mediocre one.anyway, -
May 12, 2010 7:40:49 PM CDT
All the studios care about is worldwide take anymore
by jaylenotookmyjob
Shit they don't even premiere shit here first anymore. Give it a second weekend. If it drops off by a huge percentage, then I'll agree with you.
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Why aren't they portraying Robin Hood as a terrorist and insurgent, flouting the rule of law to murder cops from the darkness?
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Both Crowe and Blacnchett. Too bad they didn't try that twist on the story with the Sheriff of Nottingham being good. The story is so old and been donme to death, it needed a new spin on it.
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Why does he seem to waste his time with shit like this? As soon as I heard this was being made, I thought it sounded like he made the decision as such, "Ahhh, fook, yah, let's go shoot that one." And by all means, I think this review is the biggest bunch of bullshit on the planet and would NEVER take Harry's reviews seriously because on the surface, it really seems as if he can throw out an overly negative review for any movie he isn't completely enthralled with that HASN'T paid up by advertising heavily on the site or giving set visits, interviews, etc. So Harry gets to seem like he occasionally doesn't like something, even though the fact that he liked NOES gives the lie to the entire operation. That was a fucking abomination.But back to Ridley... I just watched Dangerous Days again not too long ago and want to know what the fuck happened to the little Napoleonic bastard that directed that film? Same with Alien... someone insanely devoted to craft and getting it right who is still that way with production design but suddenly doesn't give a shit if he has an original, well thought out script, post-Legend. And I know Thelma and Louise is one of those screenwriting lesson-type scripts, but COME THE FUCK ON... this is the guy who was in Kubrick territory after The Duelists, Alien, BR, and even Legend... did he aspire all along to becoming the so-good-he's-almost-an-auteur studio hack? I get the feeling he just loves the process of being a studio institution and loves to work, what with the 900 directors he's got in his stable at RSA films, the t.v. shows, commercials, games, web shit, you-name-it-the-Scott brothers-are-producing-it production company, and the EIGHTEEN FILMS in development... but can't it be about more than that? Maybe it's wishful thinking and wanting the impossible because that's just how a career goes, but I'd love to see Ridley do another sci-fi classic in the twilight of his career... or maybe not, the fucker seems to have more on his plate than ever, so here's to hoping he lives to be 110. And this is coming from someone who thinks American Gangster is one of the most underrated movies of the last decade and is WAY better than Gladiator.
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Sure, Costner gave a bad performance, but the film is very entertaining, and has aged well. And Alan Rickman is amazing as the Shriff of Nottingham.
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Damn that's a great idea. When are the Irish myths going to get their chance? Finn Mac Cool? I'd love to see a Brian Boru "Lion of Ireland" movie too.
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"I's is going to tell you."
Harry's terrible writing aside, the Ridley-bashing is a bit bizarre. At his worst, Ridley Scott is still a filmmaker who produces cinema worth checking out. Despite a few clunkers in recent years, I believe he could hit a few more out of the park. It would be sad to see him hang it up at this point, and I just flat out disagree with anyone who thinks he doesn't have the talent and capacity to justify future work. Good directors should die with their boots on. -
Sounds like a movie I should check out. Harry truly has become a great movie critic. I know without a shadow of a doubt that anything he loves, I will hate and vice versa.
Thanks Harry! Robin Hood, here I come! -
Remember that show? Friggin sweet! This should be the next logical direction for any future film.
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The trailers for this are some of the worst I've ever seen for a supposed Summer tent-pole flick. It makes it look like that low rent Patrick Bergen Robin Hood from almost twenty years ago.
I'm getting sort of tired of the 'gritty', 'edgy' and 'realistic' version of mythical figures. -
The average life expectancy of a population is a factor of everyone who is born, and thus includes infant and childhood mortality. So in a pre-20th century population, if an individual avoided infant or childhood mortality, that individual could easily live into their sixties or seventies. Granted poor nutrition and unsanitary conditions ended the lives of some adults prematurely, but the real culprit that reduces the "Average Life Span" number is young childhood mortality. Do a Wiki search on "Average". Thanks for the review though, it's just as I predicted.
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because that's not what Harry "elephant ass" Knowles wants. What he wants is some twenty-five year old swinging through the trees shooting arrows upside down while strumming a harp simultaneously because THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT! what Harry "bison breasts" Knowles wants is a twenty minute sword fight with the Sheriff of Nottingham with a half naked Marion shrieking in the background because THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT! Harry you are the dumbest fuck this side of the milky way. Over and out.
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And Rusty the Sheriff of Nottingham. Mix things up a bit. And made it more tongue-in-cheek, so Blanchett doesn't go all Joan of Arc/Boudica.
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They should've scrapped the historical realism and gone after the mythology, Jack in the Green, the Green Man, and all that.
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'Bison breasts'... that's some fuckin' funny shit.
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because that's my least favorite Ridley Scott film. Just sayin.
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Not much better than the non-English accent Costner version. Cate Blanchette just doesn't do it for me either.
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I love that Ridley Scott went with the historical realism with Robin Hood... but. The film was flat, it lacked energy, emotion, passion, it was LIFELESS. When Robin and co storm the french castle, i did not feel anything, i kept checking my watch. Bow and arrow in hand, they had a target pinned to a barn, and they missed the entire fucking barn. Quint's pulling an arrow out of his arse all the way over there in LA.
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Reeeaaally?
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I fucking hate Russell Crowe.
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Cate was awesome, but Russell was not an asshole, sure he didn't mingle with everyone but always seemed relaxed and (gasp) cheerful. Plus he helped out one of the crew with a problem she was having. Working with him turned my opinion on him a full 180
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Kevin Durand is an absolute legend. Such a down to earth easy going guy.
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I'm so sorry you had to watch this. You're the true brave one in all of this.
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I'm a big fan of that dude now and hope to see him in a lot of things in the future.
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When he watches a free movie.
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That sounds wrong, but feh... when we saw the flick 3 weeks back in Toronto we all enjoyed the fuck out of it. I guess I don't have the same retarded standards, but whatever. Anyhow, the Merry Men were great, especially an unexpected bit of fun from fellow Newfoundlander Alan Doyle. That was a treat for me.
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You know it to be true. All your fears will be addressed appropriately in ROBIN HOODS: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT, coming soon!
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i wanted to walk out before the end of it. but i sat through your writings, because i really liked ridleys robin hood. the flaws i think are more in the execution of some story elements, some things are rushed and the last battle is a dumbed down mess and warrior marion silly and unnecessary. but no way a mess, more a robin begins.
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I kept asking him about Lost. He said he loved playing Keamy as he was a proper badass. and told me how he was scared of hurting the actress playing Ben's Daughter as she was so tiny. I reckon Durand should play Dredd
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Hmmm... I wonder what Harry thought of Braveheart?
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..to play Marion. Blanchett is 41 and Marion is supposed to be 18 years of age. What a load of fucking shit!
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MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAAHAAAAHAAAAAAA!
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I can't remember a more underwhelming summer blockbuster season. I'm excited to see "Inception" and "Toy Story 3" and that's about it. Is the 2008 writer's strike catching up to us?
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Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly what a day!
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but hey, that adds even more credibility to your argument.
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Iron Man 2 is doing fine. It dropped on Monday and Tuesday just about what the first Iron Man did as well as about what Twilight: New Moon and Alice In Wonderland did. The drop was more severe than The Dark Knight or Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but certainly not anything crazy. Honest to God, who the fuck determines that a movie is "kinda struggling" in the U.S. two days after posting the fifth biggest opening of all-time?!?!? Fuck, I should "kinda struggle" so much. And by "kinda struggling," it's still number one on Monday and Tuesday (the two days AFTER posting the fifth biggest opening of all time) and made about TEN TIMES what the number two movie did on those days. I may not know what sort of ulterior motive makes someone declare that Iron Man 2 is "kinda struggling" for the two days after the fifth biggest opening while making ten times what the number two movie did, but I do know that there is one.
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AN OUUTTTLLAAAAAAAWWWWWW?
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at the box office. It wont even be around in a few weeks. Someone must be laughing his ass off.
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Mark it.
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"Locksley is how it is traditionally spelt."
Seriously? Are you in 3rd grade? Also, ellipses are a privilege, not a right. -
Everyone signed on wanting to the the "Nothingham" script, and when word came down to "make it about Robin Hood" they refused to do it straightforward. I saw it last week at a screening and I really walked away thinking that it's a movie nobody involved really wanted to make. The Apathy just drips off the screen, especially in Russel Crowe waddling his fat ass around with a bow. You can see how interested Scott is in the timeframe, and I'm sure the Notingham idea would have been the political stuff in this movie minus the shoehorning in of Robin Hood. I'd still LOVE to see that film, with the Sheriff as the central character and Robin Hood as the "villian," you could shape some really good political commentary there. So far, this is the worst movie summer in recent memory, but The Expendables will save us all.
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The marketers missed a perfect tagline there, methinks.
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I love having mine chewed on.
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There are only 3 ways to tell this story-
1.Flynn's Robin Hood
2.Disneys Robin Hood
3. Sean Connery's Robin Hood
Thats.All.You.Need. Those 3 movies are the best we're ever going to get for this story. And it cracks me up that Crowe is older than Connerys Robin Hood and this is a prequel story. -
As usual Harry has given us the whole movie in a "review"
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i haven't seen this film but I had my suspicions. Frankly I love Ridly Scott and am disappointed. That being said I believe you r review and will skip this one. Following Michael Curtiz/Errol Flynn version (the definitive version) has always been a mistake.
Glad to have you back I was seriously doubting your credentials since Nightmare reboot. -
Frankly, I've enjoyed Tony's last few films than his brother's (minus the taking of Pelham 123), at least his films are fun...wonder if that Warriors remake will ever come to pass...
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I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. But Cate is still the best!
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OK, time to put on my medieval-scholar-snob hat. I decided I didn't like this picture basically the moment I saw the trailer. These are some of the crimes against accuracy that bother the bejeezus out of me in "medieval" films, and this Robin Hood isn't the first to commit them...
1) Nobody in the High Middle Ages chiseled slogans into stones in MODERN FUCKING ENGLISH.
2) Nobody in the High Middle Ages posted "wanted posters" on a tree for the benefit of a populace that was OVERWHELMINGLY FUCKING ILLITERATE.
3) Neither kings Richard or John gave two Merovingian donkey turds about England. Richard spent 99% of his time on the Continent or on crusade; England was John's consolation prize for losing the entire Angevin empire their father, Henry II, had brilliantly put together. John loved England so much, he gave away the entire kingdom to the Pope and then rented it back from him.
4) Let it first be known that for a guy, I'm a big feminist. I think butch warrior chicks are sexy, and I've personally fought more than a few. I am, however, SO done with filmmakers putting their medieval heroines in armor and swinging swords because an old-fashioned damsel-in-distress couldn't possibly appeal to modern sensibilities. Fine and dandy for elf princesses, but REAL MEDIEVAL WOMEN DIDN'T FIGHT. Full fucking stop. (And if anyone mentions that poor teenage schizophrenic from Lorraine, I'm gonna kick you in the nuts.)
5) ...and 13th-century women most certainly didn't fight wearing 15th-century helmets.
As far as Robin Hood stories go, the film is whatever it is; I don't much care. But don't trumpet Ridley Scott's love for accuracy. I ain't buying it for a second. It's Hollywood, nothing more.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled fanboy-fest. -
postman was awesome
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May 12, 2010 10:49:45 PM CDT
Iron Man 2 haters can seriously go fug themselves.
by helveticaconspiracy
The movie is a total blast. Seen it twice. Plan to go back again. Everyone I know loves it. Have no idea what your bitching about. You must be sad, boring people if you didn't enjoy the film...
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I enjoyed the second one, but it could have been better.
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i liked the new NOES too. what was ridley trying to do, make a dark knight version of robin hood? i guess thats the thing now, everything has to be "REAL"
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May 12, 2010 11:16:27 PM CDT
If it doesn't have Alan Rickman then it SUCKS!!!
by pissed off and bitter
"THAT'S MY WIFE, CRONE!!!!"
"I WILL NOT TAKE HER UNTIL WE ARE PPPROPPERLY WED!!!"
"Well at least I didn't use a spoon" -
And Sean Connery was awesome.
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How I felt about the X-men films, The Fantastic Four films, Elektra... DareDevil...Ghost Rider...Wolverine. "discarded dead skin that the legend sprung from" that says it all, good line BTW.
Anyway, I had no intention of seeing this anyway, something about it just seemed...off.
As for your love for the new NOES flick, I can't fathom it. Unlike characters like Jason, Freddy, to me shouldn’t be used as a blunt instrument. Any director/writer who plays up Krueger’s claws on a literal level as opposed to a symbolic one is destined to produce only sour notes.
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I thought it was fun, but I think my favorite robin incarnation was that "Robin of Sherwood" TV show in the 80's.
"Robin....The hooded man". heh. -
could've told you this sucked from the trailers - strictly starz play.
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No Alien prequel tidbits for you
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This looks like the stodgiest, most Gladiator-like version of Robin Hood possible. I'd have been interested if they played up the idea that Robin Hood was a highwayman and not a completely whitewashed good guy. I'll go see a Robin Hood movie when he's an antihero.
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Is the movie as bad as this review? Made some good points but rambled a bit there.
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Harry brings way too much baggage into these films with him. And when that happens he nitpicks about every little thing. It seems like Harry was pissed from the get-go that he wasn't seeing Robin Hood told the way he wanted it to be, instead of trying to enjoy the re-imagining Scott has made. No, I suppose they don't tell the traditional Robin Hood story, but then again that doesn't appear to be what Ridley Scott set out to make.
Sure there are plot contrivances, but every movie has them. Things like Russel Crowe being too old for the part...I don't give a shit!
I just want a story to hold my attention and entertain me, and this one did...very much so.
To use one of Harry's gems: "I kinda loved it." -
has zero appeal for me
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you have all the right talent attatched with crowe.blanchett,and scott but it looks fucking dull and uninspired.shit even riddley scott isn't attending the premire
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WRONG AGAIN HARRY,ROBIN HOOD IS AN ENGLISH STORY,AS BRITAIN WAS FORMED UNTIL THE 17 HUNDREDS.ROBIN HOOD IS SET IN THE 12TH CENTURY.AS USUAL IGNORANT YANKS THINK BRITAIN AND ENGLAND MEAN THE SAME THING.BRITAIN IS THE UNION OF 3 COUNTRYS.SCOTLAND WALES AND ENGLAND.UNITED KINGDOM IS BRITAIN PLUS NORTHERN IRELAND.AND IRELAND ITSELF IS A REPUBLIC.CANT MAKE IT ANY CLEARER.LITTLE GEOGRAPHY THERE FOR U IGNORANT YANKS.
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George Washington: How about, instead of us paying taxes to King George, we make our lower classes pay taxes to US instead. And if they don't buy into it, we'll just abuse words like 'freedom' and 'democracy' until they rally to our cause.
And that's exactly how it happened ;) -
I loved your review, Harry! Great writing, and I know exactly what you mean. Myself - I even felt this about Scott's GLADIATOR. Scott was really bored with the sword battles that happened in the Colliseum; I mean, Russell approaches a man & in 4-frames! the guy is dead! I will take the sword battle from SPARTACUS between Kirk Douglas & Woody Strode over ANYTHING in GLADIATOR. Even Mel Gibson did far greater sword fights in BRAVEHART, in the middle battle sequence, better than GLADIATOR. I think you're right: Scott is obsessed with historical detail & reality. He should be barred from something like ROBIN HOOD. Flynn & Disney's still own the award for that one! And one last thing:
"Meanwhile – King John is banging some French lady..." But Harry - was she hot??! -
I won't be going to this film.
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To see a fight between Robin Hood and Little John on a log bridge, fought with quarterstaves, without any cuts, close-ups, slo-mo, or bullet time.
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this should have been Russell Crowes 2002 movie before master and commander. this is like having a silent movie int he time of talkies i.e. 3d and cool.
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No one can deny that, it's a great action flick that the whole family can enjoy, the kind of film that just doesnt get made anymore.
Sure Costner isnt perfect but he is pretty damned good.
And there really is nothing to say about Rickman's Nottingham that hasnt already been said. It is a classic villain.
Suffice it to say, this new Robin Hood looks terrible, I must agree with Harry, tell the legend not the reality, considering the story is most likely just a myth.
Another example of modern Hollywood sucking all the fun from it's movies, "if its not gritty and realistic then it wont make money" attitude. Fuck off! -
..he would never have made films like Alien or Blade Runner...Yes Crowe is a first class WANKER, but i dont give a fuck what people WANT out of a 'Robin Hood' film..i just want to know if the end result is any good. None the wiser after this 'review'
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I watched this the other evening and was so bored. Once the battle on the beach was in full swing I walked out as I had really had enough. Everything about this film was wrong. Except for the opening scene with the Forest Children wearing those strange Pagan like masks raiding Marrion's food store. I thought that scene was quite magical and it reminded me a little of Scott's Legend. But that was only one scene. Everything else was juat painful to watch.
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.....it should be pretty good.
Crowe is always good value for money. -
"This is another, in a long line of films that just come across as being stupid because the filmmakers that took the story on got so bogged down by THE REALITY – that they forgot to dream." is the reason Batman '89 is better than the Nolan batflicks.
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Burton is a hack
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Saw it yesterday afternoon. Decent battle sequences, as we've come to expect from Scott. Kudos for getting the true origin of the Robin Hood figure too, that he was from Yorkshire. But yes, Crowe's regional English accent is all over the place... sometimes sounds like he's from Liverpool, other times sounds like Sheffield.
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WILLIAM WALLACE WOULD EAT ROBIN HOODS BALLS FOR BREAKFAST.FREEEDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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Seriously, Elm Street remake is a steaming turd of EPIC propotions, hated by 99% of the worlds movie goers, yet Harry wanted to stick his tongue in Freddy's crispy butt-hole...so I really can't take anything he says anymore seriously. Yeah, this film has had a few issues, but there is some geninue talent at work on this pic, and there's a lot of love coming from the English press for it (Empire, Guardian, Mirror all giving 4 stars!).
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Harry actually dislikes a movie? I didn't think it to be possible. But I have my doubts about this review, as it is well written. Therefore, I'm forced to believe that Harry didn't write it at all. You should have the "wife" write reviews more often, you hot piece of man-meat :-D
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May 13, 2010 6:51:31 AM CDT
Weird yanks. This is getting serious love from the UK press.
by harryblackpotter
Lots of glowing reviews over the duck pond, which makes me wonder if Harry's medication levels are off? Or maybe it's a marmite movie.
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Yoinks and AWAAAAAAAY!
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do you by any chance believe that rather funny film made by the American born, Australian wannabe was all 100% true? if yes, please get in touch with me urgently - i wish to sell you some magic beans and lucky heather at a not unreasonable price.
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Ridley Scott didn't arrange a "special DVD screening" of it for him in a hotel room, and Russel Crowe didn't give Harry a silver arrow like he did Jonathan Ross. that is all that is wrong with the film.
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....is that it cost FUCKING $237 MILLION to make- and that doesnt include advertising! I mean... wow. All that money to tell a pointless, bland version of a story we all know inside out. When this comes out, I think i'll stay home and watch robin hood: men in tights, instead of paying good money to see russle crow grumble his way through $237 million worth of banality.
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...it'll be a masterpiece when the undoubtedly better Director's Cut comes along?
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ate better food that Britons do today; there wasn't any lack of food on the British Isles. And they slept with pigs, to keep warm. Ah, food and warmth. And picked nits (lice eggs) off each other, instead of TV and Internet. The good old days!
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The redistribution of wealth... steal from the rich, give to the poor. Class warfare at its finest. That's why Hollywood is fascinated with
Robin Hood! -
I think this began with Saving Private Ryan, when it brought the reality of war to the mainstream public. Since then, any action or war movie that isn't completely realistic is panned as stupid, which is why we're all now sitting around with our thumbs up our asses wondering what happened to the action genre and why there are no more fun schwarzenegger-esque action flicks coming out. I realized I was among this crowd the other day when I re-watched Terminator 2, one of my all time favorite movies, and found myself thinking "You mean to tell me that high tech liquid metal machine is actually MISSING when he shoots at John Conner from 10 feet away?" It made me sad. I'll take Arnie in commando gunning down legions of mindless henchmen while standing in an open field over this crap that tries to make everything historically accurate and completely realistic.
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Why is he wasting his autumn years on a pointless film like this?
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... He would have been beside himself and overflowing with praise for the flick.
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Some directors just don't know how to use a realistic context to make certain aspects of life seem fantastical. Real life is dull most of the time...doesn't mean movies have to be. If anything, with CGI, movies seem to be getting less real.
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It's based on a true story, a pretty amazing story at that. Yet, Herzog still felt the need to tack on the happy American ending where Dieter gives a speech to an American audience after being snuck out of the hospital by his buddies. That ending tainted the film for me. Now, when I watch the movie, I stop watching once the helicopter picks him up...that's where reality ends...and that's where the movie should have ended.
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On one hand you have what appears to be an honest review, but on the other hand, this same person gave the Nightmare on Elm Street remake 10 stars out of 4. What to believe, what to believe...
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If you forget about the American accents it's a damn fine movie, full of the FUN that a Robin Hood flick needs to have (and also dark enough in places). I think it took till Curse of the Black Pearl for anyone to capture that kind of atmosphere again in a big movie. THAT'S how you do this kind of legend, it's not a fucking boring realistic historical. If Scott wants to tell an historical story why not actually DO a historical story. Like a Waterloo movie or something???
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Opening in Europe to big numbers. Almost always relieved to see a bad review from Harry. Sold out yesterday on opening night and twice tonight. Thanks for coming through, Mr. Knowles. ;)
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Harry tends to like a lot of crappy movies. So when he hates a movie, it usually means it is really bad. I find myself frequently disagreeing with his positive reviews, but rarely disagreeing with his negative ones.
BTW, didn't Ridley Scott learn from bombs like "King Arthur" and disapointing box office of "Troy" (at least domestically) that movie goers don't want the "true story" of mythical classics. They want the legend because the legend is far more interesting and entertaining. -
May 13, 2010 9:19:10 AM CDT
Platinum Dunes must have $$$thanked$$$ Harry for his review
by harryblackpotter
Just saying what we're all thinking - I mean, Harry gotta eat. We all gotta eat, but Harry really, really gotta eat.
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I assume so - negative reviews and no freebie anything usually go hand in hand.
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Were you not ENTERTAINED?
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Yep, 'Robin of Sherwood' is still the best version, by far.
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LANDING CRAFT??!! What is this, "Saving Private Robin"?
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As far as I'm concerned, Ridley Scott hasn't made a truly great movie since the 80s.
Kingdom of Heaven was almost unwatchable. -
WILLIAM WALLACE WAS REAL,ROBIN HOOD WASNT,GET OVER IT DICK HEAD.
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This is all that matters. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__jpdR82_6w http://tinyurl.com/2c7g3v9
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Should have starred Russell Crowe, Robin Hood should have starred Orlando Bloom.
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May 13, 2010 10:57:20 AM CDT
I Could've Told You Guys This Sucks 3 Weeks Ago
by enderisbacktosmiteoncemoreintothebreachd
I went to the screening in NYC. And oh my god, wow did this movie disappoint. It is so boring, unfocused, confusing (who's the bad guy? Him? Oh Him? Oh both of them? Wait what?) and just plain bad. DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY! There is literally 1....1 Cool arrow shot form Robin Hood, and it's at the END of the movie. It's great that they wanted to make it gritty and realistic, but at the expense of fun? No thank you sir.
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For a walk on cameo from this fuck: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elon_Musk But hates on the greatest trailer music of THIS WEEK!! WHAT THE FUCK!
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I think has some of your best writing in ages. Well done.I really wanted to see NOTTINGHAM. When Ridley decided he didn't want to go that route, I stopped caring. I love me some Russell and some Cate, but I just don't care. I'll catch it when it comes to cable.
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the director of boring films, while his brother, even with his ADD, has become dependably entertaining. Say what you will about Pelham and DejaVu, at least they weren't boring.
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the Heat/Scarface of the 00's...turned out stodgy.
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Band of brothers marching togeather...heads held high in all kinds of weather...
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Sometimes the ups...outnumber the downs. But not in Nottingham
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And I went to Hooters instead of Sherwood forest.
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No one WANTS to know the "true story behind the legend"--we want the fucking legend! Because there was no true story you idiots! When the legend is way better than the made up true story, why are we telling it? And oh, BTW, if you purport to be realistic about that time of history, why are you showing Marian as a warrior princess when NEVER IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF MEDIEVAL ENGLAND DID EVER, ONE SINGLE TIME, A WOMAN FIGHT IN THOSE BATTLES? Because we have to make up a role for Blanchett (who I love) and the regular role that women had back then wasn't enough for her. What a horrible concept of a film.
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Then this movie exploded from his chest...unwanted, ill-beggotten, obscene.
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THANK YOU!!!!!
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May 13, 2010 12:17:29 PM CDT
I wonder if Russel Crowe will be in the Alien prequel
by turd_has_risen_from_the_grave
as one of the two gay main characters. Will he be the giver or the receiver?
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"When the government is unjust, it is the duty of its citizens to set it right, no matter how hard that road may be."
You speak treason !!!!
Fluently. -
so much? Be nice.
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May 13, 2010 12:21:46 PM CDT
"Stop robbin' me, you bleedin' hood!"
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
"Aha! I have a name now and it is ... ROBIN HOOD."RIDLEY SCOTT'S ROBIN HOOD: STUFF YOU DIDN'T THINK NEEDED EXPLAINING GETZ EXPLAINED: DIRECTOR'S CUT
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Yeah, Harry proofreads. I couldn't even finish this poorly written thing.
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Harry:
I usually hate your reviews. Particularly when you start remembering your childhood. (I don't want to be your therapist, dude.) But this review of Robin Hood was analytical, well stated, and still uniquely "Harry." EXCELLENT job. -
In just two seconds, I saw that Loxley is the traditional birthplace of Robin Hood.
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some pretty ....BOLD statements....
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No special Austin screening + no exclusive interview = bad review from Harry Knowles. Watch him grip Get Him to the Greek and Exit Through the Giftshop. Oh, wait, he already gripped Giftshop, positive review for Greek still pending.
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"I'll make sure I give a terrible review to Robin Hood when it comes out a week after Iron Man."
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As I'm not a Russell Crowe fan I wasn't going to see this anyway.
But in removing the "legends" around Robin Hood and making this a prequel makes me really glad I'm not seeing it.
I agree with Harry in regards to side-stepping history for Robin Hood. It worked for King Arthur (imo), but Hood is a different story and apparently so is this film.
Oh well. -
this really makes me want to see a proper Green Arrow movie. Not the super meh concept floating around, but proper to at least honor and perhaps inspire a more legendary retelling of Robin Hood.
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I want more critique of big releases!
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May 13, 2010 1:26:07 PM CDT
WHY MY FRIEND HARRY IS DEAD WRONG ABOUT ROBIN HOOD
by stereotypical evil archer
The Extended Cut will probably be Oscar worthy.
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"Oh – by the way, I just looked up the spelling of Locksley. Locksley is how it is traditionally spelt."
Oh the irony...
Spelled. You lunkhead.
Spelled. -
Jon Favreau called me up, crying.
He said word of mouth is getting out that IRON MAN's a bit shit and now a Ridley Scott movie is opening against it - I said 'Dont worry Jon, i'll see what I can do for you...' -
I see no problem with the character of Robin Hoods' actions...as he wasn't really stealing from the "Rich", but rather the Government.Ya see...the only "Rich" folks in the 12-13th century were titled land owners, the Olde Worlde version of Sentaors and Congressmen...and 90% of their wealth cam from taxing the peasants that lived within the borders of their realms.My problem is that Robin Hood is not a Patriot, but rather a Statist insurgent...like a Baath Party Member that does not like the new Boss. Like so many others Robin Hood is blinded by by loyalty to a belief system, willing to support one despot over another..and unable or unwilling to question that the person in power is not the problem...but rather the power structure itself.
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May 13, 2010 1:37:53 PM CDT
AWWW...Fuck all that Serious Talk...Who Played "Sir Hiss"?
by conspiracy
And how did they get the fox tail to stick to Kates ass; those tails probably stuck just fine to Crowes' shitter though...that fucker is wound so tight he shits diamonds.
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"that fucker is wound so tight he shits diamonds"
Hahahahaha! Is that a Conspiracy original? You've gotta get a job as a screenwriter... -
test1test2
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"...DEMAND MORE from their government."
Is not some fundamental American principle or whatever you called it Harry. But thanks... this reveals the flawed premise behind most of your goofy statements.
I'd pay to watch Kate Blanchett read out of the telephone book but I don't think I'll even be renting this one. -
How the hell we're you able to make Bold type?
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Trailer for the much needed I Spit On Your Grave redo is out!!! HELL YEAH! DATE MOVIE!!!
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seeing a story you love told devoid of every element that made you love it." I completely get you there. That's me and the live-action Transformers. I want to punch Bay in the face until he bleeds to death any time someone mentions those "movies".
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Adam Sandler to Turn "Pixels" Short into Feature Film
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It's worth for a laugh. Man, Harry couldn't be more clueless about medieval history if he tried. And the legends of Robin Hood weren't even consistent with each others IN THE 16TH CENTURY! This is why the tale of Robin Hood has always been fair play to a re-invention and re-teling, even those that includes old celtic pagan magic like in the TV show "Robin Of Sherwood". Frankly, i see no wrong with the approach that Ridley is trying with his new movie. My only complain is that this movie is not NOTTINGHAM. Now that was a one hell of a premise that would had made the most original teling of the Robin Hood myth. I hope in the future somebody fishes it out and makes a movie out of it.
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Let me check... Yes, he did. He's also in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
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QUOTE: "I'll take Arnie in commando gunning down legions of mindless henchmen while standing in an open field over this crap that tries to make everything historically accurate and completely realistic." And right there, you're the reason we have so many shitty fucking movies.
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i havent seen seen a single one.. except for mel brooks' spoof. this looks just like gladiator.. except outside a stadium and with a bow and arrow.
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May 13, 2010 4:16:30 PM CDT
Harry wrestles with the colossal failure known as...
by turd_has_risen_from_the_grave
his lapband surgery.
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of not getting a check from Universal Pictures in the mail.
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Honestly, if I read one more American review telling me how this movie should have been, instead of reviewing the film infront of them, well....
I saw it Wednesday. It's a good movie with absolutely spectacular production values maybe not seen since the Rings trilogy. Any film fan worth their salt should see it on the big screen as its a work of art.
As I've said, good movie that dares to do something different with the 'myth'. Proclaiming that it messes with history that is fickle at best anyway is a joke Harry. Pathetic. It's a fictional movie.
I await your inevitable glowing reaction to the likes of Prince of Persia and Marmaduke, happy in the knowledge that I know a worthy film when I see one. Well acted, great score, rousing action sequences, gorgeous photography. Well worth anyone's time if they're fed up of the dreck that normally fills multiplexes this time of year.
Long live Ridley Scott. A true artist. -
And he's right, the only important things about the Robin Hood myth are the forest, the bow and arrow, and the fact that he's a rebel. Although I think the ballads do go back further than the 16th century. People need to accept Robin Hood wasn't a historical figure. It's like making a James Bond film set in a realistic post-WWII Secret Service milieu - it might be an interesting idle idea but it wouldn't be Bond. Ridley Scott's films always look great but always end up overlong and weak on story.
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Seems the folks in the UK take the movie more at face value, rather than try to force it to be something it's not supposed to be. Because the UK press/people have reacted well to the movie I will see it and ignore the negativity here. After all, wouldn't it be like folks in the UK or Europe trying to pick apart an American western if they were never part of that culture/history/etc?
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So this must suck even more than I thought it would.
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Harry wasn't invited to visit this set right?
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Too obvious.
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Jeu de Robin et Marion (late 1200s)... William Langland's
Piers Plowman (late 14th)...Wynkyn de Worde's collection of Hood ballads (1495).
I don't mind the mixing of history in this film... I don't mind everyone's age (nitpicky)... the same could be said about Gladiator and Braveheart. The problem with this film was that it was just boring as f*ck. -
Except it could have been 50% shorter.
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..."Ridley Scott's Robin Hood vs. Aliens". I can't wait!
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Where did all the friggin' money go? I mean 236 million dollars. There was like...what... two money shots in the movie?
Analyze the budget here:
http://www.kuriren.nu/bloggar/bloggentry.aspx?blogg=4617200&entry=5378247 -
http://www.kuriren.nu/bloggar/bloggare.aspx?blogg=4617200
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Your opinion can never be trusted again after you spoke the words "mesa lvued him!" when talking about Jar Jar.
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...so here's a TinyUrl that works.
http://tinyurl.com/2wnkyu4 -
but ignored actually history? Seems like you should do one or the other. I mean, I know Robin Hood's just a legend and all, but it sounds like the details surrounding Richard make no sense.But worst of all, they unnecessarily make him NOT "Robin of Locksley". Why bother?
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That eminates from someone that hates Ridley Scott or Russell Crowe. Both guys are awesome. If anyone thought matrix 2/3 or LOTR was "exciting" and not a coma-inducing snorefest don't bitch about this movie.
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If someone says this, I'll go see it.
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he said to give us a Supernatural talkback for the finale
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he said he is willing to play John Rambo in Rambo 5,if Sly does not want to.
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...the most recent TV spots have felt flat to me and I haven't read a completely positive review this entire week. Everybody dislikes some or all of it. Disappointing. Probably wait for home viewing.
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I like Russell Crowe, and Ridley Scott for that matter. Both usually make solid, enjoyable enough movies. But I think Ridley was wrong for choosing his favourite actor friend for the lead in this film. I've not seen the movie, and I certainly don't care about reviews, but I'd already decided this was not worth wasting time or money viewing at the cinema (it's doesn't even look rent-worthy to me). It just looks like a cheap copy of Gladiator (although that could be because of the underwhelming and typical trailers). Maybe I'll watch the next Robin Hood movie... after all, the industry will continually pump these out every decade or so. I just hope an actual English man gets to play Robin next time. Crowe's accent sounds terrible in the this. I can't believe Ridley actually thought it was acceptable. I also hope a English woman gets to play Marion. Really, what's the point of attempting to make a film look authentic when the actors and their accents are so wrong.
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he said he just stopped fighting all around the world,and he is coming in Austen to kick my ass for trashing his new movie.
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these Talkbacks. He's the most likable of all reviewers, yet is constantly being attacked about his weight or liking some bad films.
The guy loves movies, gets very excited about them, and yes he tends to be far more lenient to films made by directors that invite him to sets or bring movies to Austin.
He never trolls like some other reviewers, cough Herc, and after all these years he still seems as optimistic and giddy as ever. -
he was happy to find work.
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I'd just like to say that just because a couple of movies get it wrong does not mean that it is impossible to do a realistic take on a myth. Sadly, I can't think of any film examples but just thinking of realistic takes on King Arthur brings to mind Bernard Cornwell's Warlord Trilogy. That would make a perfect movie because it avoids all of the problems that this film seems to hit. Putting Robin Hood in a historical era does not mean making him play a role in all the important events that were occurring during it. I would love to see a film about the Baronial Revolt and the Magna Carta but I don't see why you would bring Robin Hood into it. Robin Hood should be relatively small in scale and tell a very personal story. It doesn't have to be an f**ing epic.
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Oh, btw Harry. That whole life expectancy thing is often misused. The reason that medieval life expectancy was so low wasn't because everyone died in their 40s, it was because of their extremely high infant mortality rate. If you outlived your childhood you stood a reasonable chance of reaching your 50s or 60s. Some (Admittedly rich) people lived into their 90s or 100s. In fact rich people in general had a better life expectancy than did commoners, so if a lot of these old guys are nobility that is probably exactly what you'd expect. Especially if their sons were off doing knightly stuff like any hot blooded kid.
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If a Robin Hood movie doesn't begin with a rooster playing a lute, I'm simply not interested.
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I've been reading this website for 4 years and have never posted (thanks to social anxiety?? nahh... well, maybe).
But I completely agree with this review.
It was boring. As hell.
I expected to see something along the lines of Gladiator going in. I mean, how couldn't I?
I ended up with something that felt... Castrated. With a bow and arrow and a meaningless love story.
Of course the acting was excellent, but the script was...
awful. I don't know what else to say about it.
I'm avoiding spoilers to the extreme, so I'm sorry if I seem vague.
Here's my suggestion:
If you haven't seen Kick-Ass, go see it this weekend if it's still playing near you.
If you haven't seen Nightmare on Elm Street and you want a semi-lame jumpfest, go see that.
You could probably even find Avatar at a dollar theater still if you live in even a semi-big city. Maybe. It's still playing near Minneapolis, if you live here...
So here's MY verdict: go see anything else that is "better" (Nightmare on Elm Street notwithstanding,because it's the kind of movie you go into wanting some shit thrills) instead of this movie. Give Ridley Scott the message he needs: make a movie that is GOOD, and BE CONSISTENT. I understand that you like to experiment, but this feels like a one-legged remake of Gladiator with a bow and arrow and a weak love story.
Come on.
And yes, Harry, I agree that Russel Crowe was REALLY miscast. One of my first thoughts, upon his casting even, was "exactly how is this wrinkly dude supposed to be Robin Hood? Dude's supposed to be a youngish hooligan."
Whatever, Robin Hood will forever be a fox in green to me.
Oh, and wesley.
Yummy. -
Expectations run higher with "Robin Hood".
I enjoyed it. Not perfect by a long shot, but it offers something a bit different than all the others. I always hear people saying that they hate remakes for the sake of remaking something without bringing something new to the table. Well...this one does. -
...so I can't quite follow about the 47y-issue.Overall the movie was okay, but aside from totally awesome camera work offered nothing we've seen somewhere else.
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William Wallace was real but might as well have been fictional if you believe the tale as spun by Mr Mad Max. entertaining film, but historical bullshit. yes, Robin Hood is a mythical figure - i never claimed otherwise, i believe it is YOU who said Mr Wallace would "eat" this fictional character? who is the dick head now, Jock McWanker?
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You're a film critic, not a historian, so why try to give an inaccurate history lesson in this review?
The flaws in your history are enough to make me heavily question your judgement on the rest of the film. -
One of the concepts underpinning the Robin Hood legend was the ongoing struggle of the Anglo-Saxon people against the imposition of Norman culture and the heavy taxation imposed by Franco-Norman royal houses, still a bone of contention even a century or more after the Battle of Hastings. There was also a strong element of paganism struggling against the christian church woven into the original tellings of the legend.
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The Metro amongst them. It seems that UK and Europe like the film, the US doesn't.
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I seem to remember that this was the film what was supposed to be titled Nottingham, and was to be the Robin Hood story from the Sheriff's perspective with Crowe as the sheriff. When that fell through, Crowe was then to play Robin AND the Sheriff in some weird twin brother twist. When backers hated that idea Scott and Crowe were forced to make Robin Hood with Crowe as Robin....I guess this POS is the result.
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Harry. Speaking as a guy that was brought up in Nottingham (and therefore surrounded by all things Robin Hood) I feel it's my duty to inform you of what bollocks you speak. You have no idea of the diversity and breadth of the original Robin tales. The movies annoyingly repetitive stanza is only a tiny part of what's out there. And as for: "fuck history, tell the legend of Robin Hood." I've gotta tell you (apologies to the rest of your wonderful countrymen) though some Americans seem to continually place knights, witches and the likes of Robin Hood in some McCaffreyesque fantasy-land right along with bloody unicorns, for us over here this stuff is as historically rooted as cowboys are for you. Please consider this at least - my local pub was built in 1189 and sits at the foot of Nottingham Castle, so we're gonna have a slightly different perspective about RH - this stuff isn't Disney.
Though it sounds like the film may suck, I have to say this kind of rhetoric is gradually eroding what little respect I have left for this site. What with this bullshit review and the likes of 'Stallone just called', hmmm. -
The american west is also part of european history. You know why? Because the vast majority of the people who went west were immigrants from Ireland, Scotland, England, Germany, Sweden, Demnmark, Norway, Italy, Russia, Poland, even Greece, Spain and Turkey.
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I'd love to visit your place. The day i visit England, it will be my greatest desire to visit the fine historical city of Nottingham. something tells me i'll love it. And even visit your pub. Historical ancient english pubs ar eone of the things that makes me curious in visting EnglandAnd i loved the way you corrected Harry's (and many americans) common misconceptions about the middle ages. If anything, we need more medieval movies which show a realistic and historical accurate representation of how life was back then, and with the least amoung of topicality and parabole to modern times, as if history was just a repetition of today events, only with armours. Yes, there's paralelisms in history which seem to repeate today, but many times movies that pull this stuff just do it without tact.And the thing a really realistic medieval movie would bring would be the oportunity to be a time window to a time when people were very different from us today. And also to corerect some bullshit misconceptions about the middle ages. For example, in the middle ages, the people then weren't as preocupated with the virgity and chastity of women as they were afterwards during the victorian ages, 800 years afterwards. In fact, during the middle ages, it was taken for granted that women had sexual apetites as much as the men, and nobody would think much of it.
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"It seems that UK and Europe like the film, the US doesn't"Shades of KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, and oher historical epics that tried to be something more then just shit blowing up.
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Most people just want to see an entertaining movie. They don't give a shit how "correct" it is. This goes for historical movies, comic book hero movies, any kind of damn movie.
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"The american west is also part of european history" - totaly, couldn't agree more we're all cut from the same clot ;). Few folks over here could do with a history lesson too!
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My problem with the review is it fails to answer whether there will be a love song to topple that of Bryan/Sting/Stewart.
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It reiterated itself many, many times. And Harry repeated himself a lot, too.
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and Harry writes a coherent, substantive review. Good job.
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The James Bond reboots eschewed all the romantic elements that made 007 such a memorable franchise for a more "realistic" and "gritty" look and feel.
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It'll be interesting to look back and see how other big, historical epics fared on each side of the Atlantic. Ghandi? Lawrence of Arabia?
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I went to see Robin Hood yesterday and I think it was great. So did all my mates. Same basic Robin Hood story has been told so many times, so why on earth would anyone want to see it for the millionth of time? Ridley Scott took a fresh new angle for the story and it really worked. I don't give a damn about "historical accuracy" or whatever bs argument Harry has because Robin Hood itself is a fictive story made believable. I highly recommend to forget about Harry's rantings and go see the movie if you enjoy a great story and charismatic actors.
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And asked what people thought of it. Every single comment was on how stupid and boring it looked. They've got to know they are speeding towards a brick wall.
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...is that Harry disses this movie for its "reality", but yet loved the Jackson's Lord of the Rings series, which also toned down the fantasy elements of the story in favor of a more historical, Braveheart-esque approach.
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Awesome to hear that Pixels is being made into a feature. I read somewhere that it'd be similar in tone to Ghostbusters... sounds good to me. I love the success people are finding by making great shorts... except none of it is reported here. What the fuck happened to Cinematic Shrimp?
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I saw the Costner version in theaters 20 years ago. It was great. Poor accent aside, it was a lot of fun and made like, four hundred million worldwide. Why the hate?
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Right on target, mate. You guys in the UK get to drink history straight from the source... most Americans only get it bottled, sweetened and carbonated by Hollywood, so they wouldn't know the difference.
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Thank you for asking whether Harry found this inferior to Serbian movie. I wonder if Harry would have liked it better if there were sick perviness in whatever 'yellow love cave' that Quint mentions in his review.
As for Robin? I was interested when I read Kevin Durand was in it. But I lost all interest in further Ridley Scott work upon viewing Kingdom of Heaven. Looks like I'll see Robin Hood someday when Tivo grabs it off AMC or FX network. -
I'm a plant??? LMAO. So obvious because I liked the movie and thought I'd tell Harry how wrong he was? What was remotely 'plantish' about my post? Tosser
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Of course, not the point. Westerns are in our back yard. Suppose a Brit decided he is going to retell an American fable, but change everything about it that has been commonplace for over 100 years. It would not be met the same way here as it would overseas. But look on the bright side: Roger Ebert must be right about this movie because he praised and recommended "deep blue sea."
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enjoyed it alot.
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to Crowe and his Irish Geordie accent. I'll stick with my Robin Of Sherwood TV show (ITV not BBC BTW Merlin_Ambrosius - an HTV production in fact)at least the Michael Praed ones anyway. I'd even rather watch Rocket Robin Hood at least it has some cheesy nostalgia value.
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SPOILERS BELOW... BEWARE
Saw this movie last night and have to agree it was awful... For me the worst thing (aside from the convoluted political plots, the fucking feral children, Marion showing up in the end battle for NO FUCKING REASON, the waste of the Merry Men characters and the complete lack of depth given to any of them,...) was the romance. They made Marion such a bitch from beginning to end. There was NO REASON for Robin to fall in love with her. Don't get me wrong I love Cate and I love Marion and Robin and I was willing to get behind it all, despite Harry's observations, but it seemed like every step forward they made two steps back in the romance department. What was up with the COMPLETELY HOKEY dancing? Is this fucking Knight's Tale? Jesus...
What they needed to do honestly was add dimension to Marion (like most of the rest of the characters, honestly). Her husband just died, maybe she should cry a little... open up eventually to Robin about more than just "he left me and I was a spinster, oh well". How about when she's being attacked by a french baddie in the barricaded room. I was fine with her killing him, but shouldn't she have stayed trapped and given Robin a minute of panic about where she was? Just to show at some point that he cared? As it is when the characters say they love each other it comes across as wooden and forced and totally unbelievable. I won't even comment about Marion in the final battle other than to say I think it was one of the worst moments in the film.
There are glimmers of potential for them (her finding him sleeping before the fire, him seeing her undress through the fabric, her handing the sword over to him).. but the film-makers did nothing to capitalize on those moments and instead went off in totally different ways. Waste of talent, money, and everyone's time... including mine. -
Saw it tonight, great entertainment, lovely cinematography, fucking GREAT score, good acting, well written and directed. And one of the coolest end credit sequences ever.
Back to Nightmare on Elm Street Harry. You have ZERO credibility. -
Robin of Sherwood is the best ever treatment of the Robin Hood legend. Absolutely brilliant. And best TV score in history.
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Cheers brother, just hate to hear someone confuse the world view of Americans in general. Most of my buddies over there totally get it, but Harry's making a habbit of airing his ignorance. Fingers crossed this isn't another 'White Squall' eh?
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Yeah Robin of Sherwood's a little dated now, but still had something special. Great charcters for starters. Shame they didn't get 'Artos' off the ground, the Athurian equivalent they had planned.
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I could have told this was going to be mediocre from the trailer. Can I have a column where I make predictions based on the trailers? Im pretty damn good.
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You couldn't be more wrong.
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You are absolutely correct in everything that you write. Robin Hood is a dreary,dour,depressing and pointless slog of a movie.
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is Little John seeing the fat girl across the party and saying "SHE'S MY SIZE!" "I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SMILE!". Shoulda been more merry men. Surprisingly liked the King John performance.
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is Little John seeing the fat girl across the party and saying "SHE'S MY SIZE!" "I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SMILE!". Shoulda been more merry men. Surprisingly liked the King John performance.
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You couldn't be more wrong.
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why is the director blamed for robin hood's failure, but the production company praised for the success of nightmare? And why are you always saying 'Platinum dunes'?
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with people saying that his robin hood accent is irish. to ther point where stormed out of an interview with mark lawson and called the critcism a load of bollocks.
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May 15, 2010 10:22:14 AM CDT
Iron Man 2 - seventh biggest opening week in history =
by the bicycle sharer
"Dropping like a rock" and "kinda struggling." LMFAO!
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May 15, 2010 10:40:44 AM CDT
This movie: Robin Hood fights for the rights of rich Barons
by catothecensor
Seriously. What a rousing fucking story. See Robin hood JOIN FORCES WITH KING JOHN TO FIGHT THE FRENCH!!
SEE ROBIN PRESSURE JOHN INTO AGREEING NOT TO TAX THE NOBILITY SO HEAVILY.
This is a fucking right wingers dream come true. Stop taxing the rich!!
It ate all kinds of hot ass.
Hey, I've got an idea, how about a movie set in the Middle Ages that isn't an action/war epic. Why does every medieval movie have to be an action/war movie? We have plenty of period dramas--Victorian, early 20th century American, Renaissance--that cost just as much in production but that don't feel the need to end with giant armies colliding. -
I'm sure this review has some relevant things to say but nit picking over stuff like spelling Loxley rather than 'the traditional spelling' is ridiculous. Is Harry attempting to be intellectual? No spelling back in the 13th century was set in stone ,certainly not names, Shakespeare signed his own name three different ways and this was 300 years later. Also this is middle English we're talking about - you know the language of Chaucer wrote the Canterbury Tales in - so virtually all the spelling as well as the language would not be very familiar to any modern English speaker. From your review even Ridley Scott has got his history wrong (purposely to tell his story , no doubt) and Mr Knowles compounds the error by getting his historical claims wrong about a film that retells that piece of history wrong anyway. A twofer. Comments on historical accuracy in movies is an oxymoron. Stick to the business at hand, are the action scenes good, is the acting passable, is it a rollicking good tale? Obfuscating the issues with nitpicking borders on self-indulgence.
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This is actually the first coherent review Harry's ever written.
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Forget the grammar, syntax and confused commas. Count the surplus of "that": "What I love about the ROBIN HOOD mythology is the concept that Robin loved his king, so much – that when a plot to dispose of King Richard was hatched by his lesser brother, John… that it was a knight from the wrong side of the tracks – that helped to organize a revolt. That sought to protect those that could not protect themselves. He used terror to strike fear into the corrupt puppet government that was bleeding the people dry." Harry, I sincerely doubt that Mr. Scott bothered to read your review; if someone insisted that Scott peruse it (likely at gunpoint), you afforded him some laughs (the amateur aptitude is embarrassing). Do you write your reviews in fingerpaint?
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but Robin Hood was fantastic...maybe since I didn't go into it with expectations of what I "wanted" to see I was able to just give myself over to the experience...no baggage is always the right why to see a film...but Harry packed enough baggage for a month long vacation into his experience. Visuals were great, acting was great, story was complex but easy to follow, action scenes didn't suffer from PG13 rating, it was certainly NOT boring...but then again I don't care how they spell Loxley or if the actors are too old....9 out of 10
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The movie was pissweak. No emotional build or captivating action or characters. Blachette was too old, and unattractive to play Marion. There had to be a 20 or 30-something that didn't look like a skeleton with a chain smokers voice that could play her. This movie is a flop...a dud...a lame time filler.
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Through reading these Robin Hood talkback posts I keep seeing
mention of how great Kingdom of Heaven: Director’s Cut was. So I set aside 3hrs today to watch it. I previously saw the cinematic version and
was disappointed by how slow and confusing it was. I was hoping the Director’s Cut fixed all of that, but I was wrong. I will say the Director’s cut was a lot less
confusing and a better film. However, it’s
still slow as hell, boring and somewhat confusing at times. Completely overrated on these talkbacks. I can’t believe some are comparing it to Gladiator,
and even saying it was better. Gladiator
was a much better movie, in the sense it was actually fun and watchable. In fact, they shouldn’t even be compared as
they are very different movies.
Gladiator was essentially an action movie dressed up as a dramatic/
ancient era piece. However, KOH is
really a deep, thought provoking, ancient era cinematic film.
Sorry if I turned this into a KOH talkback, but was tired of
hearing KOH praise w/o other points-of-view.
Here’s my high level synopsis:
GOOD:
+ Acting is great across the board, world class thespians
+ Great special effects
+ Battle scenes
+ Cinematography
BAD:
- Very boring, slow, like watching a history documentary on A&E
- Villain has little depth, purpose, seemed to
just be evil to be evil
- Seemed directionless, jumped all over the place
- Too pretentious
- Bloom didn't seem to fit the role, lacked gravitas
- Overall confusing story, hard to understand dialogue at times
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He's a great visual artist and has made some of amazing movies in the past, but some of his recent movies have been pretty dull. Maybe he should take a couple of years off and come back revitalised and ethusiastic. Crowe and Scott's best times together are over, it's time to find new collaborators rather than turning to each other every time a movie script lands on their laps. They clearly still have many good movies left in them, but it seems obvious they'll never recapture the magic from the past. Although personally I wouldn't mind if Crowe disappeared all together and made way for some new talented unknown actors rather than get priority to scripts and turn the movies into attempted oscar nominations. Imagine how many amazing actors we miss out on because the top 20 Hollywood stars take most of the major roles!
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The only thing I can take away from this review and the subsequent talkback is that nobody seems to know what the fuck they want anymore. The only thing everyone here seems to want is the same thing they've always wanted: To bitch and moan.
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Harry is an idiot.
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May 15, 2010 9:56:53 PM CDT
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by jordanshoes
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It's incredibly disheartening to see so many people saying that transcendent works should be untouchable, and echoing the ever so tired and insipid, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." sentiment. I just can't follow that logic whatsoever. Following that line of thinking means that Aliens should never have been produced, Tolkien should have stopped exploring Middle Earth after the Hobbit, Daredevil books written after Frank Miller's run should be immediately discarded, Batman Year One too, and every single musical artist should have immediately quit, cause well, The Beatles have written some of the most beautiful, timeless songs in history, and y'know... if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I guess I just don't understand why people can't be honest with themselves. "I don't like change. I don't like new. I don't want my horizon's broadened, because that concept scares the shit out of me." -
One of his early history plays, once popular but now very rarely staged. It's kind of static and lacks the color of his more famous histories like Richard III or Henry V. Doesn't have anything to do with Robin Hood, iirc.
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http://tinyurl.com/yawhc8l
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Marion showing up three minutes after their "goodbye" scene was random, but it's still a good show. Great actors all around. The movie's just a little slow. Could have lost some of the the stuff about John and shortened it by about 20 minutes and it would have rocked. But everything with the merry men is fantastic.
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It certainly wasn't a colossal success, either. However, I was entertained through a major portion of the movie. It had a decent sense of humor (and caused a few unintentional laughs). I was not a fan of the ridiculous movie cliches or the seemingly rushed love story.And yeah, Crowe's accent did seem borderline Irish at times (William Hurt's accent was arguably the worst in the film).
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I'd rather see something more accurate then just the legend, because as good as the legend is, deep inside we all know there's a lot of bull shit to it. Take the Wyatt Earp. Yeah a cool shootout in the O.K. Coral is pretty entertaining ( Tombstone ) but in reality they fucking sneaked up on those guys in an alley and killed them in cold blood. I'm glad I finally see a Robin Hood tale that didn't include the fictional split the arrow in twain. Myth Busted!!
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Not to defend a movie that honestly looks like utter shit, but I feel I do have to correct you, Harry. The version of the 12th century where men commonly lived into their sixties is the real version. You tossed around a misleading statistic several times, that being that people rarely lived past their 40s in the middle ages. People generally lived just as long as they do now; the statistic comes from the fact that a very large number of the population died during the first six years of their life, drawing the mean average downward. Sorry. The movie still looks like utter shit, but they're not technically inaccurate in that aspect.
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He neither gets what's right nor what's wrong with the movie. This is what happens when you slavish yourself exclusively to hyperbole. And his views of historical autheticity regarding the movie and it's period are mind boggling in it's errors and incorrections. Taking history lessons from old Hollywood movies, really!
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Not the best, but certainly not bad. Not at all. It was better than Iron Man 2 & MUCH better than Crispy Fried Cat Face Paedophile On Elm Street.
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Nothing about this movie resonates emotionally. Nothing about it makes me want to see it again. It doesn't even count as lightweight vs Gladiator, braveheart and a dozen other great movies that I have on blu ray. It to a good epic what First Knight is to John Boorman's Excalibur...a completely forgettable mishmash that amounts to nothing. I can go back an watch an episode of Xena for more excitement than this.
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of not getting a kick back.
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The "average life expectancy" stuff gets misinterpreted and skewed by infant and child morality rates. If someone made it past the age of 10 or so, they stood almost as good a chance of living into their 60s or 70s as a modern person. Just look at all the people now who don't take care of themselves and make it to 70 or so. Keep in mind that there were no cars, no tobacco, no exotic diseases like AIDs, etc. back then either. History lesson OVER.
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My bad. Gotta read the talkbacks before commenting. I really have no interest in this movie, though.
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Stuff like polio, whooping cough, plague, syphalis and so on killed plenty, and plenty young.
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Well as an englishman who works in Nottingham, everything is named Loxley not Locksly (including Loxley House, the former Capital One UK headquarters). This is because Nottingham was a Norman enclave and all the names around this area are Norman origin, such as Ashby de la Zouch, which features in Ivanhoe
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One of the best times i've had in the cinema this year. Exciting, funny, spectacular and engaging. Like all good movies should be. What's more, it's made by someone who understands cinema, and not some little TV director kid who got a lucky break. Harry (Faraci etc) completely dropped the ball on this one. Go see it, it great.
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its message and tell you what to think. There is no clear good and evil. It doesn't feature a larger than life hero, but a man on looking for personal redemption. It's far more real and contemplative than that. And in my opinion that's why it's a better movie than Gladiator. Also, for someone who is fascinated with the Crusades, it's amazing how much history they got right. Sure, they took some liberties, but not nearly as many as Gladiator. As for the "boring" comment... I don't know what to tell you. I know a few people with short attention spans who were enthralled by it. To each his own.
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At least you were honest about your feelings of the film.
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Both are forgettable, weak and no competition for good movies. Both can induce comas and have virtually no redeeming value.
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1. Daffy Duck. 2. The Muppet Show. Fact. :-)
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I saw it...and I freaken loved it. I literally have NO idea why its so low on RT or why Harry trashed it, because its an excellent film. I'm considering writing a review myself, just to get the word out that its not a bad film. Just read Peter Travers words on the film, if you must. Otherwise, go see it...because unless you don't have a soul, you'll enjoy this movie.
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No sizzle whatsoever. Dead in 2d. And I love Blanchette but no Smudge this time.
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I don't know what Harry and Company have been eating but I found this film to be thoroughly engaging. I think they were expecting instant gratification but I wasn't bored. Go see this movie.
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Say what you will, but this is why I like the Costner version. It didn't take itself too seriously, but didn't get too corny either. It didn't mess with the Robin Hood formula - that being Robin's there to fight injustice and get his revenge, and Marion, the Merry Men, and Friar Tuck and company are all along for the ride. The only thing it was missing was King John, but really, he wasn't necessary - you absolutely cannot beat Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham. Throwing in Morgan Freeman as Azeem is just gravy.
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Seriously... this movie was "good fun"? Who are you kidding... FERAL CHILDREN show up in the final battle!! Hey why don't the archers just KEEP THEM PENNED DOWN since they landed in a completely indefensible position!! Where was the romantic spark between the leads? What the HELL was Marion doing in the final battle? How do any of the political machinations with John make any sense, and WTF does Robin have to do with any of it? The dancing scene was so hokey it was laughable... literally people in the theater when I watched it were laughing because it was so bad. I love Cate but she did sounds like a chain-smoker the whole time and had just ZERO chemistry with Crowe. A "Philosopher stonemason"... seriously. Exactly how does that make ANY SENSE? Exactly what political theory is Robin backing? Is it "power to the people" because the Magna Carta that everyone wanted John to sign is really only "power to the barons" which is not the same thing. Is he anti taxes but pro king?
And for the record, for anyone to call the movie historically accurate is laughable. Richard the Lionheart barely spoke any English and he died from the wound getting infected and it took time, not instantly (and his mother was there... thus not needing the crown to be brought to her by anyone). Furthermore, what was with John and Isabella's jewels? Most of the crown jewels were hocked by Eleanor years before to get Richard out of prison.... But all that would be forgivable if the movie was any good, which it is not... not horrible... but not good... C- -
gerbil boy.
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Great production values. Great first half hour. And then it dissolves into a flat, forced romance and political boredom. I love the time period, but this just felt tired. The soggy midsection would be easier to take if it culminated in something worthwhile, but... the final battle was a truncated mess. The worst sin is that none of the characters are interesting. The only one that comes close is King John, but he's constantly tugged this way and that by the script. This was no Kingdom of Heaven, and I don't think even a director's cut could fix it. Sad. I wanted to like this. But, I still agree with Asimov that Harry and company dislike it for all the wrong reasons. And it's not a "colossal failure". There are far worse ways to spend a couple of hours. But it should have been so much more.
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Confused. Maybe even a bit curious.
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May 16, 2010 11:08:53 PM CDT
I guess only disliking a movie doesn't sell newspapers, as they
by knives
C'mon, people. It wasn't bad. I really couldn't care less that it wasn't "Robin Hood" enough to legitimize the name. Want good 'ole traditional Robin Hood? Go watch the dozen or so iterations that already exist. Spare me your irrelevant ranting that has almost nothing to do with the actual substance of the movie.
Am I the only one excited about the potential R-rated director's cut Blu-ray/DVD? -
Seriously, most of the times I can at least meet you half way on your criticisms on a film, but Robin Hood was a kick ass good time. It was not a perfect film, but it's definitely my favorite contemporary Robin Hood story. Great strong performances, cinematography and unusually strong direction from the hit or miss Scott(truth be old his hits and his misses are still head an shoulders above most other successes with a few key exceptions). Anyways guys, it's great. I hated the theatrical cut of Kingdom of Heaven, it's nothing like that. I'm sure they'll be a directors cut of this film, but the theatrical version was soldily entertaining and never boring. Also definitely my favorite portrayal of his Merry Men. Love Kevin Durand.
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I saw the beginning and end but missed the middle until tonight. I guess that for some people this telling of Robin Hood just doesn't resonate, but I loved it. Except for the battle at the end. Kinda boring. But everything else was fantastic. This is how you tell a Robin Hood story for your generation. That's the great thing about Robin Hood. It is a folk tale told by different people over the ages for different reasons. This was the first Robin Hood that I felt like I could relate to as an adult. This was my Robin Hood. I hope there is going to be a sequel(s).
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May 17, 2010 2:49:57 AM CDT
Saw HOOD and IM2 tonight...it was the more rewarding...
by burnhollywood
...Of the two. I found it to be an amusing mesh of history and legend, and really liked the tag-off with the ending leading into the traditional story after King John pulls his double-cross.
Wasn't overwhelmed by the big battle scene at the end, but I'm getting older and it's starting to turn into "seen one, seen 'em all". The real entertainment was the introduction of the characters and scenario, and I thought it succeeded.
Oh, and "FUCK HISTORY" Harry? What a fucking lame thing to say. -
Kingdom of Heaven has no redeeming features? Idiot.
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Audiences are so used to watching CG-infected ADD spastic-edited garbage that as soon as a real film shows up they think it is "slow".
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Errol Flynn's Robin Hood still rules. I do think a better story would have been the rise of King John. The story jumped around and made no sense. Robin just happens upon the man who knew his father who of course had to be someone important. The beach fight was ridiculous. Having maid Marion show up in a full suit of armor leading a charge was beyond ridiculous and pandering to little girls everywhere. Russell is definitely too old to be playing Robin Hood. Having English archers fire a volley then jump on horse and charge against cavalry is historically ridiculous. That would be totally wasting their advantage. This is just a stupid movie.
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He's too busy sucking his fathers cock to develop a cogent thought that not everyone worships that POS slow and boring disaster kingdom of zzzz.. even the title stirs up deep seated boredom. Shit movie, much like your life.
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Hello you cocknosed little fuckwit.
If you're only ever gonna show up when you have a chance to vent the chip on your shoulder, you should get your facts right. I quote:
'ROBIN HOOD IS AN ENGLISH STORY,AS BRITAIN WAS FORMED UNTIL THE 17 HUNDREDS.ROBIN HOOD IS SET IN THE 12TH CENTURY.AS USUAL IGNORANT YANKS THINK BRITAIN AND ENGLAND MEAN THE SAME THING.'
You mean the United Kingdom, (which was formed by a Scot by the way). Britain is simply a land mass. It's got nothing to with having a union or a king or queen/political power.Britain has been around a long, long time. Even the Romans called it Britannia.
Robin Hood IS an English story, but England is in Britain, therefore by definition, it's distinctly British too. As is that of your thieving, murdering, hairy arsed little Wallace guy.
You should stick to deep frying pies, mate. -
I think what Scott's done is actually very clever.
Nobody really knows for sure if RH existed or not. He probably didn't but it doesn't matter. There's a reason the legend is always linked to the time of King John. Whether he existed or not, the story stands as a symbol of the people challenging the system. Scott's admittedly taken a few liberties directly involving a possibly mythical character with the Magna Carta, but the story has always been symbolic of the socio-political upheaval of that time anyway. -
The horrible chemistry between Crowe and Blanchett and some stupid attempts at humor.
I thought the film was a well told with (mostly) solid performances and I was never bored. -
A truly pish review. Maybe you should retire and hand over to an adult who understands literate films. Iron Man, Transformers, Avatar, films for the easily impressed dear boy.
Ridley still rules. -
Needs more GB3 news to work properly..
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But this looks like Gladiator in Tights and Holy Sh!t is that a bad omen...A scream and a THWIPPP!!! do not an epic film make...
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When H_A_R_R_Y the quintessential enthusiast has a problem with a director/film taking certain liberties with source material, the project is officially f*cked.
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Did anyone else like the other Robin Hood that came out in '91, with Patrick Bergen and Uma Thurman? I think they pulled off the mix of history and legend much better in that film than any other.
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If Harry said chicken was shit, but old men's balls taste nice, would you go out nad sucking? No? I read Harry's review before I saw the movie. I decided to make my own judgement on it & I liked it. I agree about the feral children etc, but otherwise it's a good movie. It looks great too! I can't understand how Harry could praise IM 2 like he did, yet say this is a failure. They're leagues apart. RH is the way movies used to be made. It's not perfect, but it shits all over most of the movies so far this year.
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1. It's a movie. There ain't any.
2. The comment in the article about Crowe being seven years over the average life expectancy is not really on the ball. This idea that everyone doied around 30 or 40 or whatever is completely wrong, and is only believed by uneducated Interweenies. The thing is, the infant mortality rate back then was ridiculously high, and that is what drags down the average for life expectancy. But for those who survived infancy, well, they tended to live about as long as we do. It would not be at all unusual in those days to see someone of that age wandering about. -
May 18, 2010 12:00:14 PM CDT
Its a film where the title charachter is a macguffin,fun though
by christiansuburbanite
So this review is based on Harry opinions of other movies,his opinion on a MYTH and apparently as usual what mood he was in when writing it,i miss real Journalism.
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FUCK HIM.
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as much as seeing a story you love told devoid of every element that made you love it." I know what you mean Harry, I felt the same way about THE DARK KNIGHT.
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It seems that Harry is no longer able to write a real review. Every one of his reviews is more about how HE thinks he would have made a film, than it is about the actual film being reviewed. Nobody cares what YOUR "Robin Hood" film would have been like. That's a mark of poor criticism and bad writing. I found "Robin Hood" to be a very entertaining medieval action movie. Give it a chance.
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Harry is attempting to dazzle you with his profound knowledge of History.It is pretty nervy and boorish to say that this RH is acolossal failure ..it isn't.In Hollywood there is always someone re-writing ,re-directing or re-acting someone else's project...you know to do it better.You know it isn't that they love movies so much as talking about them and tearing them down.Crowe is the best Robin Hood i've seen this guy is a yeoman,a regular guy with a good character. Since RH is a folklore character and not someone from central casting,how can Harry or anyone else for that matter complain about his age.I'm really tired of nit-picking snarky reviews.This film is not Knight's Tale redux or Gladiator, it is a worthy film and I enjoyed it.It seems that a world audience likes it as well.By the way Harry IM2 did not hit the sweet spot again and again,that was false advertising.
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Robin was a SAXON. The nobles were NORMAN. The HISTORICAL aspect of the stories are essentially about race struggle of indigenous people versus outside invaders (Scandinavian by way of France). Robin didn't steal from the rich and give to the poor per some ideal but because the rich were Norman oppressors and poor were native population. If the American educational system wasn't so FAIL and if 99.9999% of ppl reading this even knew what the fuck a Saxon or Norman is (despite their direct antecedents to our own US history...) Internet posters wouldn't post random articles making up their own crap about history and historical accuracy
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Reviews boring, verbiage infantile, opinions tedious.
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I know this thread is pretty much dead but i wanted to point out that perhaps the film makers gave the name Loxley because many early accounts have "Robyn Hode" being born in Loxley, Sheffield in South Yorkshire.
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Well said my man. I saw this coming, trailers alone. I have been very disillusioned with Ridley since "Gladiator". I know people loved it, and i enjoyed parts of it, i did. But, something changed in his film making. He knows he is "Ridley Scott" now. Sir Ridley. and he directs like that, like he is Kubrick or something. He is not Kubrick. I don't know. But great review and thanks for keeping it real on this one.
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Right, we are dealing with a legendary character that was the subject of rhymes and ballads, that continually changed considerably in the telling with all manner of different details, characters, situations etc. added in over centuries.
There was no single man called Robin Hood, this term was used generically to describe many, many outlaws (most of whom robbed from the rich AND the poor and kept it!) But certain motifs in the ballads and legends DO go back to earlier accounts about an actual historic figure, who was NOT a yeoman at all but in fact of noble birth: Fulk FitzWarin.
He lived in his castle in Whittington and was married to the daughter of the Lord High Sheriff of Lancashire, Maud de Vavasour. FitzWarin ran afoul of John Lackland who during his regency declared him outlaw. This Gentleman Outlaw took his wife and men to the forest and proceeded to to prey on John's men in support of Richard Lionheart.
After John became king he continued to do so, and after with the other Barons he forced the signing of the Magna Carta got his lands back.
His exploits became a series of ballads and rhymes telling of the tricks he pulled on King John. In later years many of these were directly transcribed into the Robin Hood legends with Robin playing the exact same tricks on the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Thus the notion that Robin was an outlawed nobleman rather than a yeoman was incorporated into the tales by the 16th Century.
I am therefore frankly annoyed by Ridley Scott and especially the thuggish Russell Crowe going on about Robin as some sort of "working-class hero", because first of all if you had a sword and a horse and fought in the bloody Crusades you were NOT a peasant, and second of all because it is not based on any attempt at "historical accuracy" but actually out of some political nonsense about "nobility=bad, commoner=good" prejudice.
Of course I am biased in this as I am a direct descendant of Fulk FitzWarin. -
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I didn't plan to see this flick orginally as it just looked like Gladiator set it England, I'm glad I went though. Thoroughly enjoyable movie! Great characters, fantastic detail and fight/battle scenes. I loved how it all centred around bows and arrows. It was more the tension of the story that got me. I never looked at my watch once and was completely gripped the whole time. Really looking forward to see where the sequel heads. I'd recommend anyone to go see it. Just remember, whatever Harry says, the truth is actually the reverse of that! :0)
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come on... seriously. medieval landing craft with front ramps and gunners cockpits and a steering station? for fucks sake if you're going to steal a boat design at least know enough to leave off the machine gun tubs.
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Almost didn't go because of Harry's review (mistake #1) but saw it opening weekend and REALLY enjoyed it. Maybe it's because I'm not terribly familiar with past incarnations of the character. Without the baggage, it's a completely enjoyable period piece. Harry's review strikes me as similar to the (few) die-hard fans of the Adam West Batman who just didn't like or get the Burton movie in 1989.
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Load.
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I bet Orlando Bloom told Ridley to SOD OFF! But, rly tho, he would have been a way better choice than Crowe... but Bloom might be sick of playing "that guy".
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5 MINS IN I FOUND MY SELF GRINDING MY TEETH IN ANNOYANCE. 20MIN IN I SUNK IN MY CHAIR WANTING THE PAIN TO END
35 MINS IN MY BRAIN STARTING PULSING AND ABOUT 45MIN I FELT LIKE A FUCKING ARROW HAD BEEN SHOT THROUGH RIGHT THROUGH MY HEAD.
OH MY FUCKING GOD AT THIS POINT I AND MY FRIENDS WALKED OUT OF A CINEMA TODAY THAT WAS QUARTER FULL OF PEOPLE. AS I WAS PASSING THOSE WHO DARED REMAIN THEY ALL LOOKED FUCKED I WHISPERD TO ONE GUY MATE THIS IS FUCKING SHITE AND HE SAID I KNOW. WE THEN GOT INTO THE FORYAY AND CURSED EACH OTHER FOR DARING TO NOT LISTEN TO THE CRITICS WHEN A CINEMA STAFF MEMBER APPEARED AND TOTALLY AGREED WITH US WHEN WE SCREAMED OH FUCK ITS SHITE. ALAS NO REFUND. I FEEL LIKE ROBIN HOOD STOLE £5 FROM ME. HOW DID THEY FUCK THIS UP THIS BAD?? IM ALSO ANNOYED CUS BEING BRITISH MYSELF ROBIN HOOD IS ONE OF OUR AGE OLD STORIES THATS BEEN FUCKED OVER HERE. HOW CAN THE DIRECTOR OF THE GREAT GLADIATOR TURN OUT THIS PILE OF SHITE? WHAT THE FUCKS HAPPENED? GOD CROWE NORMALLY BRILLIANT JUST LOOKED FUCKED. IM SO PISSED IVE BEEN ROBIN HOODED GIVE ME MY £5 BACK U BASTARDS! -
Dammit... I had no desire whatsoever to see this, but now I'm gonna have to (on Netflix). I agree, one of the biggest issues with filmmaking today is exactly what you say: Everyone's so used to 5 billion things on screen buzzing around at once that when a real film shows up its "boring and slow". For that very reason, I now want to see this. I'm so, so, so fucking tired of ADD movies.
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I thought it was a wonderful take on the Robin Hood story as a prequel. I thought it was fresh in a very modern English way and was the sort of thing that I expected of Ridley Scott with the understanding that he is someone reliably English. One of my favourite movies of the year . I loved Cate Blanchett's northern voice at the beginning. I suppose if the American's based the American dream on Robin Hood, perhaps they ought to rethink the American Dream again totally. I think that Russell Crowe is probably biologically younger than the typical 40 year old of that time even at 47
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Whats with all the bitching, I quite enjoyed the movie, it was a twist on the standard robin hood tale and if they ever complete the trilogy I think the film will get more respect as a set up story
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