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Moriarty's Rumblings From The Labs #16: Re: Miyazaki, MINORITY REPORT, X-MEN and much much more....

Published at: Oct. 6, 1999, 3:51 a.m. CST by staff

Hey folks... Harry here with another of the old man's rumblings from that cellar he calls a lab. More like the torture chambers what with all the spikes and whips and tapes of ISHTAR... But that's another deal all together. Meanwhile... I'm stepping stage left so Moriarty can rumble....

ey, Head Geek...

"Moriarty" here.

Have you ever noticed how you can have some weeks where it feels like nothing's going on, and then suddenly you turn around and find that you can barely fit in everything that you want to do? Don't get me wrong, though; I'm not complaining. Far from it, actually. It's been a great and busy week at The Moriarty Labs. My only real problem is sorting it out so I can share it all with you. One thing that will help the process is a new addiction that has gripped the Labs with a stranglehold. I don't even know who to blame for finding it in the first place. All I know is one of the henchmen recently came into my private library with a rather distinctive bottle filled with a bright neon green liquid. I barely looked at it as I took my first sip. POW! It was like a mule kick to the head. I took a closer look at what I was drinking. Jones Soda. Small company. Never heard of it. Green Apple flavor. Never had anything like it. I took a second sip, expecting to be prepared for it this time. POW! Now, less than a week later, that's all we're drinking around here. Of course, it's damn near impossible to find, making it a painful addiction, but it's worth the effort. I'm currently working on a plan to have it administered intravenously. Find it. Try it. And stay the hell away from my stash.

I am equally thrilled at satisfying another of my new obssessions by finally seeing Miyazaki's poetic and extraordinary NAUSICAA OF THE VALLEY OF THE WIND (or KAZE NO TANI NO NAUSHIKA). It's somewhat strange for me to randomly jump from one period of Miyazaki's career to another. Normally when I come in this late in the game, I try to see someone's work in the order in which it was produced. You get to see how someone's primary themes and interests develop and are played out over the course of their work. With Miyazaki, I've already seen PRINCESS MONONOKE, which feels to me like a deeper, more ambiguous exploration of many of the ideas presented in NAUSICAA. That's not to suggest that I didn't enjoy myself. I did, immensely. Once again, I am struck by the lyrical beauty of the scenes in which Nausicaa uses her glider, by the way Miyazaki captures flight so effortlessly. This time, though, there's an action edge that's not present in a film like KIKI. There's also very clearly deliniated good and bad characters, which makes this easier to have a rooting interest in. And, as always, there are dozens of images that I will never forget, whether it's the attempted rebirth of the Giant Warrior or the millions of Ohmu tracking their wounded baby or the shattering sky battles. I will be joined by Harry Lime and Henchman Mongo for this Saturday's showings of CASTLE IN THE SKY and PORCO ROSSO, starting at 7 PM at the Bridges Theater on the UCLA Campus. Anyone who wants to say hello or discuss the marvelous work that's been highlighted by this delightful retrospective should just remember how much The Professor loved IRON GIANT this year. If you need more of a hint than that, I can't help you out.

Before I press on to some of the other topics I want to discuss this week, I'd like to offer a correction to a story I broke here in the RUMBLINGS, the death of MINORITY REPORT. Based on a letter I got, I did some nosing around, and I've discovered that there are actually several sets still standing on the Fox lot. These stages are on hold for the film. This isn't to say that the plug won't be pulled, and it's not to say that it will. Right now, there is some major work being done to the script, and the future of the production will depend on solving some key issues. I wish Scott Frank and Spielberg well in their efforts, but I also hope that if they can't craft the story into a home run, they have the courage to pull the plug. No one needs another half-hearted SF ripoff of BLADE RUNNER. With talent like this aboard, there's a good chance they'll be the ones to get it right.

I want to thank the hundreds of you who have written me letters regarding my appearance on David Poland's KABC radio show last week, even those of you who sent me comments like "You're a fawkin' sellout PUSSY!" One of the things that Harry and I discuss frequently is how high a profile AICN should have via other media. I don't think anyone understands how often we turn down invitations to things that we think wouldn't be appropriate, or that don't really advance the site in any significant way. I went on this show for one specific reason: David has been very vocal in his feelings about this site, and he's raised some issues in the past that I felt demanded discussion. I don't believe in having "feuds" with people; it's silly and it's counterproductive. I also believe that when I speak to people about AICN, I am able to share my passion for the work we do here and impress upon them the hard work and the ethical struggles that I feel distinguish what we do. As we grow, as we learn, we will continue to do appearances that help validate what we're doing here. I like knowing that Harry trusts me to represent this site. I also like having a different form of interaction with you guys. When the caller was put through who said, "I'm first," I had to laugh. Hearing the little quirks and eccentricities of AICN in another context makes me smile. Of course, those of you who feel like this site was your secret, an underground thing that you don't want to see mainstreamed... well, I do care about what you have to say. I'm curious... for those of you who listened to the show live or who have visited the archived version that a fan was so nice to create, what are your feelings about running into us out there in the real world? What do you think about Harry's next twenty or thirty appearances on ROGER EBERT & THE MOVIES?

Speaking of television, I'm sorry I wasn't able to have the RUMBLINGS up yesterday. I wanted to be able to provide you all with an advance look at the season premiere of one of the funniest, smartest, and most consistently moving shows on television, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. One of the remote locations of the Labs is an information gathering center that is topped by Mr. Pointy, a powerful satellite dish. Late Saturday night, I got a call from Pointy's keeper, who told me that he had just stumbled across the network feed of the show. I dispatched several henchmen to bring me the tape immediately, and I watched it twice Sunday. I don't know if I've ever shared with you my deep and powerful love for this show, but it seems to grow exponentially every season. I was worried about how the show would change as several key players left and the cast moved into college, but it turns out there was no need for concern. Joss Whedon and his talented group of writers and producers have managed to extend the show's central metaphor in a clever and affecting manner. Whereas the show was always a canny x-ray of the reality of high school up until now, the premiere episode managed to capture the experience of starting college in a more concise and believable manner than the whole first season of FELICITY. The cast this year is a little thin, what with the departure of David Boreanaz and (slobber, drool, slobber) Charisma Carpenter, but the returning regulars all did knockout work, redefining their characters quickly and memorably. Also, ain't Alyson Hannigan cute this year? Man, I'd love to take a trip to band camp with her. I do hope that rumors of Seth Green's departure are exaggerated. He's leaving after episode six this season to go shoot a film, much like he did last year due to AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME. There's a lot of dispute over whether he'll be returning or not. I hope he does. His presence is one of the show's most consistently snarky jokes. For those of you who haven't tuned in to the brilliance of this program yet, go find the recent ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY cover story on the show, read every word, then dive in and catch up. Week in, week out, there's no better hour you can spend in front of the box.

I was saddened to hear about the poor, misguided souls who turned out this weekend to protest the premiere of DOGMA at the New York Film Festival. Seriously... don't these people have anything better to do with their time? I know Lion's Gate must be nervous about the controversy. They have yet to release a BLAIR WITCH-sized breakout hit, despite having scored several significant pickups in the last year or so. DOGMA has several elements in place that would seem to indicate that this could be the film -- Matt Damon and Ben Affleck together again, the stunt casting (even if it works) of Allanis Morissette as God, the return of Jay and Silent Bob -- but there's no guarantee here. The controversy might end up helping the film, and it also might end up creating false expectations for it. This sort of thing isn't unknown to Kevin Smith, either. The film A BETTER PLACE which he and Scott Mosier produced is set for a DVD release by Synapse Films (more on them below) in the near future, but Synapse can't find a VHS partner for the release because it deals with teens, a gun, and the repercussions of violence. Having not seen either DOGMA or A BETTER PLACE, I'm not prepared to comment on the quality of either, but I can say that having spoken with Kevin, he's not just out there looking to stir things up for kicks. He's a thoughtful guy with a moral streak a mile wide, and those who would try to silence him should thoroughly investigate their own motivations. Take a lesson from one of Kevin's heroes, people... turn that other cheek, and do unto others. Get it?

I don't think LAST NIGHT is going to be the breakout hit that Lion's Gate wants and needs, but it sure is a groovy little film. Written and directed by Don McKellar (co-screenwriter of the brilliant 32 SHORT FILMS ABOUT GLENN GOULD and THE RED VIOLIN), it's a picture with a simple, immediate premise. The Earth is going to end at midnight on a certain day. Everyone's known for months. The cause of this destruction is never specified, and I prefer it that way. This isn't a disaster film; it's a movie about those precious little moments and emotions and impulses that make life so very, very special. The film starts at 6:00 in the afternoon on the day everything is ending, and follows a number of characters through those last few hours. McKellar plays the lead in the film, a disconnected, emotionally hollowed-out man named Patrick who wants to spend his last hours alone. His sister is played by current queen of the Canadian indie scene, Sarah Polley, in a small but lovely role. David Cronenberg plays the president of the gas company, and he continues to prove that he's not just a great director but also a very memorable performer. I'd say he and Sydney Pollack are neck-in-neck for best director turned actor at this point. Sandra Oh, who was so good in DOUBLE HAPPINESS and who appears on the painful, numbingly stupid ARLI$$ each week on HBO, manages to almost walk away with the film as a woman who wants to find her husband so they can kill themselves together, controlling their fates instead of accepting them. In the end, though, the performance that really has haunted me in the week since I saw the film is that of Callum Keith Rennie, who plays a guy determined to finish his time on the planet without regrets. His laundry list of sexual urges and the way he goes about satisfying them is both funny and pathetic, sad and real. He's mesmerizing, and I'm sure we'll be seeing more of him soon. In the end, LAST NIGHT isn't a great film, nor will it be remembered as the year's best, but it does pose some essential questions about our priorities and our needs as people in a world that can be frightening and unforgiving. When it rolls out in limited release, you should make the effort to find it.

For anyone who suffered through this weekend's season premiere of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, just know this: I feel your pain. Regular readers of this column know that I am a longtime fan and advocate of the show. In fact, I was planning to use today's column to offer praise to Lorne Michaels and NBC for what I felt was a good, if not great, 25th anniversary celebration of what is inarguably the most influential comedy show in TV history. I thought there were some wonderful clips shown, some proper respect paid to the history of the show. I think there were some sins of omission, but even three hours is barely enough time to scratch the surface of such a wealth of material. On the other hand, 90 minutes can seem like an eternity when something falls as flat as the season opener did. I thought there was exactly one highlight, a very canny and hysterical parody of another of my favorite TV shows, OZ. Whoever convinced Tom Fontana and the cast of that show to participate should be commended, because the effort paid off. For those of you who didn't make it that far, the opening of the sketch explained that following the events of the last SEINFELD episode, Jerry continued to piss off the prison guards until he was transferred to a maximum security penetentiary... OZ. Every joke in the filmed segment was right on the money, and the use of the actual sets and film instead of video helped sell the parody. Nothing was repeated, and the sketch was exactly short enough to maintain itself.

So why was every other piece of writing on the show so pedestrian and predictable? I am genuinely horrified to see how quickly Lorne has allowed the show to snap back into its typical format. Cold opening, credits, opening monologue, commerical parody, commercial. Sketch, commercial. Sketch, commercial. Sketch, commercial. Weekend update, commercial. Musical guest, commercial, and so on. I mean, didn't he watch the anniversary show? How is it that I can appreciate what made SNL into an institution, but the man responsible for it all can't? When SNL premiered in 1975, it shattered all conventional notions of what could be done in a comedy variety show. The very idea of a commercial parody so real that it could be mistaken for genuine was unheard of. Lorne fought tooth and nail to get difficult, controversial material on the air. Several shows even destroyed expectations as to what SNL could do. He wasn't afraid to let one sketch be stretched over several breaks. He wasn't afraid to let subtle character work on the air. These days, the show's as subtle as a fart in church, and it hurts to observe. I still think there are some talented cast members on the show, even if I'm not convinced that guys like Jimmy Fallon, Tracy Morgan, and Horatio Sanz are adding anything to the program, but the level of writing that's getting on the air right now is shameful. If this is how Lorne plans to treat this program this year, then maybe a quarter century is long enough.

Now... I mentioned Synapse Films above. It's a fairly small, fairly new DVD company. Why am I excited about such an unproven name? Because of the founder of the company, the one and only Don May, Jr. Did you happen to catch that amazing, remarkable NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD laserdisc in the early '90s? Well, that was the work of Don May. Or how about the astonishing TEXAS CHAINSAW special edition package? May again. This guy is... well, he's one of us. He loves these movies. He told me recently that one of the highlights of his life was the moment when he sat down with George Romero to look at the original negative of NOTLD. He held it in his hands and was overwhelmed by a sense of film history. That love of his reads loud and clear whenever you watch a film that May is responsible for transferring. If you need that proven to you, why not check out his new special edition DVD release of Frank Henenlotter's BRAIN DAMAGE? I did, and I was delighted by the entire package. The film is one that I must admit I hadn't seen before, and it's a surprisingly good gore comedy. I've never been the biggest fan of Henenlotter's other work, at least not in the execution of it. I've always enjoyed the ideas in films like BASKET CASE or FRANKENHOOKER. With this film, though, it felt like he got it right. It's funny, it's incredibly foul, and there's actually a point buried under all that spurting carnage. One of the best things about the disc is the secondary audio commentary by the director, who sounds reluctant to be pressed into service. That reticence fades quickly, though, and he turns out to be an engaging and funny speaker. The transfer of the film is outstanding, especially considering the tricky hard blue color scheme it was shot in. Films like this are the reason I love my DVD player dearly, and guys like Don May are the reason the format will ultimately be the favorite of any serious cinephile. Now I'm dying to see his upcoming release of VAMPYROS LESBOS. Oh, yeah, baby...

Anyone seen Fiona Apple's new video yet? It just premiered on MTV and VH1, and it's directed by PT Anderson. While I find it hypnotic -- maybe it's all those close-ups of the beguiling Miss Apple -- it's nowhere near as magical as the video they collaborated on for PLEASANTVILLE. Her cover of "Across The Universe" is wonderful, but it's the work that Anderson did in bringing the video to life that really makes it a classic mini-movie. I love that he's one of those guys who is willing to hop over and make a little short film (since that's what the best videos are) between epics like BOOGIE NIGHTS and MAGNOLIA. Keep your eyes peeled for "Fast As You Can."

The best story I read or heard this week was easily the news that Stanley Donen will be directing THE 7 DEADLY SINS, based on a script by Anthony Minghella. I know that this is a Henson Company production, and there's going to be some surreal effects work involved, so I'm surprised by the courage it took for the company to choose Donen as the film's helmer. I applaud them, though. Donen proved that he's just as sharp and as funny as ever when he accepted his special Oscar on the 1998 broadcast, and it's always seemed shameful to me how Hollywood turns its back on older artists who still have so much to contribute. Billy Wilder is one of those guys who was put out to pasture too soon, in my opinion. His wit hasn't dulled with time, so why not let him continue to give us gems? We're in the midst of a generational shift in Hollywood right now, and I know that it's my sincere hope that we don't make the same mistake by ghettoizing filmmakers like Boorman, Pollack, Frankenheimer, or Friedkin just because they're not young or hip or edgy any longer. Like anyone, they have their ups and downs. Unlike their younger competition, though, one misstep can end decades of creative productivity. Let's hope Donen knocks this film out of the ballpark and sends a clear and much needed message. Even more importantly, let's hope people listen.

On the other hand, the worst story I've heard or read in the past week was regarding Halle Berry. I've enjoyed her work in the past, but there are certain things that I believe you simply do not do. One of them is piss publicly on the project you're currently shooting. Especially when that project is a beloved property like X-MEN. What was she thinking? She appeared on THE TRAVIS SMILY SHOW on BET recently to plug her HBO picture about Dorothy Dandridge. Now, Berry has every right to be excited about the film and proud of it. She produced it, and she fought to get it done. It's a labor of love in every sense of the word, and I commend her for doing what Whitney Houston and Janet Jackson couldn't. Still, that doesn't justify her comments when asked about the state of writing for black actresses in Hollywood. She replied, "I've been reduced to doing a remake of a comic book called the X-MEN because of a lack of work for black actresses."

WHAT?!

You've been "reduced" to doing it? Oh, poor Halle. I guess someone just stormed up to her (pun intended) and put a gun to her head and said, "Here's this property that is loved by millions featuring a role that allows a black woman to be a strong, spiritually centered superhero, and we DEMAND that you be in it." I mean, for god's sake... Angela Bassett's actually been quoted in the CALGARY SUN recently as being upset that Fox never came to her to discuss the role she was linked with for over a year. I guess Bassett's just got her head up her ass, right, Halle? I guess she's been "reduced" to the same kind of roles, right?

Honestly, I'm surprised Fox didn't fire her. Who needs an actor on a set who believes that a project is beneath them? Who honestly believes they're going to get the best effort from that actor? And most importantly, what are we, the fans, supposed to think of someone who spits on a project that we have been waiting over a decade to see? If I were Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart, or Bryan Singer, I would be horrified by her comments, and deeply insulted.

Finally, I want to apologize for once again delaying my discussion of the proposed cultural committee and violence tax, but Harry and I have been busily discussing alternatives. We don't want to just rail against the status quo here on AICN; we want to propose a possible solution. We're looking into a comprehensive program of media education, starting with kindergarten and going all the way through college, that will help teach people how to process and filter media. The fact is, we live in a media soaked society, and that's not going to change. If anything, it's going to get more intense as technology advances. You can try to fight censorship all day, but that always comes down to arguments about taste. By proposing a change in the way we educate children and prepare them for the world, you eliminate the need for censorship altogether. There's no such thing as a dangerous idea if you've been prepared for viewing films and TV or reading books or listening to music. Ideas are just ideas. The only thing that's dangerous is someone who doesn't know how to think for themselves. As AICN continues to hone this concept, we plan to discuss it in greater length. Until then, just know that it's one of our primary concerns.

Later this week I'll be bringing you reviews of Ang Lee's RIDE WITH THE DEVIL as well as a film that you'll have to move quickly to find at your local theaters, a profound new anime experience called PERFECT BLUE. Let me slam another Green Apple soda and put on my Writing Cap (copyright 1999). There should be plenty of surprises as well, so I've got to get moving, get started on them. Until then...

"Moriarty" out.

Readers Talkback

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  • Oct. 6, 1999, 4:47 a.m. CST

    Perfect Blue is first...in my book

    by superstar

    Perfect Blue played a while back here in London and it rocks pretty hard. The intention of the filmmaker was to prove that anime can be about more than robots and scantily clad heroines. Check this one out - it's a freaky psychological thriller that spins your head with ideas rather than Akira-type visuals. Oh, and a trendy Japanese clothes store here then showed a collection of cels from Blue for culture vultures and some were beautiful.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 6:33 a.m. CST

    Halle Berry needs to be in BABS 2: REVENGE OF THE REDUCED ACTRES

    by GEEKBASHER 3.0

    First of all, I have never thought much of Miss "reduced" Berry as much of anything, cute, yeah she was convincing as the crack whore mom is Losing Isaiah but honestly when I found out Angela Basset wasn't going to fill in the shoes of Storm on X-MEN I was seriously bummed! She would have brought such fierceness to the role that only Halle Berry would dream of!!! And now after reading about her comment, What a fucking bitch! I have a close friend of mine who is a movie producer who is friends with Bryan Singer and I am just going to have to make some phone calls (JUST KIDDING) anyways I hope she doesn't turn X-MEN into a AVENGERS with her utter lack of effort! Hell, she could always play the Blair Witch in the sequel, before she gets tied in the woods and left to die.... Now about SNL's season opener, I am so glad that Moriarty feels the same way I do, uggh It was absolutely dreadful, even the SISTER Mary Katherine Gallegher skit sucked and she's one of my faves ( I actually like the JOYOLOGIST the best ) The last two skits were pure torture, thank god I had recorded it and had the remote but still....Why is COlin QUinn still on the show and Cheri Oteri scares me sometimes becuase she jerks too much and I feel like she is just gonna snap in half and explode. THe skits were dumb, David Bowie looked tired, UGGGH but like a car accident we are still compelled to watch........... I got a idea, Have Halle Berry host......yeah right....

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 7 a.m. CST

    Valley of the Winds Rocks!

    by Paul Puck

    Hail the great Evil, who has seen 'Valley of the Winds'! Many people will say that 'Akira' was the film that tuned them into Japanimation, but for me, it was that crappy, English version of Nausicaa: Valley of the Winds. Please forgive me, as my head has just exploded with excitement, as a movie that I saw in 1991 will be back in the Theaters again... I WILL SEE THIS MOVIE AGAIN!!!! It rocked to no end, especially the visuals. GO SEE IT, THE PUCK COMMANDS YOU!!!

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 7:55 a.m. CST

    Jimmy Fallon Should Be Pumping Gas

    by mrbeaks

    Honestly, he is one of the most fantastically talentless individuals I've ever laid eyes upon. I mean, SNL has had some worthless cast members in the past (Charles "Fuck" Rocket, Denny Dillon, Jim Breuer,) but this guy sets the gold standard for comic futility. Does Lorne really need a "performer" whose main "talent" appears to be a far-from-dead-on impersonation of Adam Sandler? Please, give this guy a mop and bucket, pay him the wages (i.e. minimum) he deserves, and spend his salary on wooing a halfway decent writer onto the staff. Not that that would fix the myriad problems currently plaguing the show, but it'd at least be a good faith gesture to the audience. Nowadays, if I'm home on Saturday Night, I'm more likely to watch Howard Stern's steadily improving (and, mercifully, hour long) show, rather than wade through another tired installment of SNL, which, and this is really saying something, has hit a new low.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Halle Berry....Hmmm don't want to include profanity in the subje

    by JesseCuster

    FUUUUUUUCK HER! Seriously, what a fucking slag! "The X-Men" could possibly the only flick she's ever been in that'll be worth the time it takes to watch and she's raggin it on national TV when she should be down on her hands and knees taking it in both ends from Bryan Singer and everyone involved with the flick for taking a chance on her no talent ass!!! That's fucked up. I would fire her ASAP and get someone else in there. Not, Angela Basset, I love the chick, bot N'Bushe Wright is the actress to go with. She's hot, she's got presence and she can handle the shiny outer wear, casue she's got more than enough underneath to make it stand out in all the right places, heh. But, Halle Berre? FUUUUUUCK HER! I can't say that enough. What is it about fucking actors and actresses who go on fucking HBO to get a flick made, (And let's face it, there are maybe twenty HBO flicks out of them all that really stand out, the rest are made for TV crap. "Citizen X" being my personal fave.) and suddenly, their shit doesn't stink! Forget that before she played in this Dorothy Dandrige flick, the best she could get was playing a fucked up junkie whore, a stupid hostage flight attendant whore, a rich man's whore and who could forget her stunning turn as a fucking football whore in "The Last Boy Scout". Yeah, those are some fucking acheivments right there boy! Not to Bryan Singer: Kick this stupid bitch off of your picture, because five gets you ten she's the biggest fucking detriment to the whole flick. Thank you, Moriarty for your usual brilliance and thank you Harry allowing me to babble.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 8:49 a.m. CST

    The Unbearable Lightness of Being Halle Berry

    by Anakin_Skywalker

    I felt shudders down my spine when I read her comments. God, not even Uma Thurman said that regarding The Avengers! My idea is this girl must be seriously traumatized by a comic book film or something she did in the past. Perhaps she is just trying to bury her dark side through posing as a very mature girl, or a highly well-placed actress. Or maybe just trying to get some attention on her, since she knows she is getting into one of the most anticipated pictures of the year 2000. Or perhaps she is just envious of the rest of the cast (she being the "ugly duckling"), or perhaps she just wants to erase any conception any producer has of her being associated with a comic or cartoon move... like The Flintstones.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 9:23 a.m. CST

    www.clownpenis.fart

    by Godai-kun

    heh heh, that was my favorite part of last week's SNL. There might have been one or two other funny sketches, but the rest? Yuk! Man, that Regis and Kathy Lee-esque parody at the beginning was, and always has been, torture. And enough with Mary Catherine Gallagher already! Jimmy Fallon COULD be funny if he'd ditch the amalgam Mike Myers/Adam Sandler impression he does no matter what character he's playing. There's potential there at least. And I might have missed it, but where was the Smiegel cartoon? Always the funniest part of the show. And why hasn't Will Ferrel been doing his Harry Carrey impression? I hope it's not just because he died, because I miss that terribly.... As for Xmen, I heard that the major reason they didn't consider Basset for the role is because she'd be too old by the time the sequels rolled around. Now it doesn't seem like Berry is too psyched to do any sequels, does it? I say dump her and get Basset (or someone lesser known who would work). We'd have someone who could play a decent Storm for one or two movies at least... oh, and Moriarty, I'm with ya on the Alyson Hannigan thing. ;)

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Well this maybe old but...

    by JON1969

    This maybe old news right now, but Angela Bassett had this to say .."For two years,I heard I was going to be playing Storm.I'd look in the papers and it would say,'Angela Bassett is Storm and Mel Gibson will play Wolverine. Then one day, I open the trade papers and read, Halle Berry is Storm. I called my manager and said 'After all that I wasn't even given the option of saying NO. I guess that's life in Hollwood." Well,well... looks like our lady wasn't even given a call... lets throw out that budget shit right now ...anyway I don't want to beat a dead tired ass horse but... WHAT THE FUCK! ON TO BUFFY AND ANGEL ...Buffy was pretty good but I had some problems with her getting knocked arouc by the vampire girly... but confidence is the key to performance ...so that was pretty much cleared up right away, I love Xander ... "buffy's my hero" ... touching ... I could hear the Fue Fighters song "Hero" in my head ... the whole set up was good from the beginning to the end Giles is really enjoying himself ... to bad about Seth Green... they need to do something with Oz, but that doesn't look promising right now. "Angel" ... pretty good and dark ... our man David.B is soooo cool... "there's a new player in town" damn right ... I don't know about his side kick thought I will give him some time, funniest scene ... when our "favorite SunnyDale girl and actress to be" figures out the investor guy is a vampire... Buffy cintinues on strong and Angel seems promising ... can't wait for Spike to return!!! Question ... will Angel loss his soul if he gets laid anytime or just with Buffy? Insanity by sex!!!!!!

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 9:34 a.m. CST

    What a Bitch!

    by Uagain

    Halle Berry should get her ass fire for that comment. She seems to me like woman who can't get her way then she cry to daddy 'Daddy I have no choice I've been cast in this movie and I don't want to do it ;(" Fuck her! get Angela B. for the role she would be perfect. U still can't beleive it. How dare she say something like that...AWHHH! ok I'm done..Am going away now. Cheers Christian

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Moriarty in 2000!

    by All Thumbs

    Hey, if Ahnald can go for Governor, why can't Moriarty go for President? Back to the subject at hand, this was one of Moriarty's best rants in a while now. I totally agree with the SNL thing, and laughed my ass off at the Oz parody! I would love to see them do more of that kind of humour than another Mary Katherine Gallegar skit. But I don't want to see them do a skit like that every week...good skits (like Mary..used to be) are like a Godiva chocolate. Once in a while it's heaven, but if you eat the entire box every week it gets you fat, lazy and sick of anything associated with chocolate. Anyways...I know it's not the above poster's reasoning, but Angela Bassett too old for Storm? People don't grow old in Hollywood anymore and for her age, the woman looks wonderful, so I say that age thing is a bullshit answer because if it were someone, say, Michael Douglas playing a character, they would never say he was too old even if he was wearing diapers on the set. As for Halle Barry, someone take the stick out of her ass and beat her with it because she's not helping her "plight" any when she makes comments like that. Whoa...I've never been so harsh...must be the medication.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 10:01 a.m. CST

    HBO makes the best pics for TV

    by STAX

    TNT is second but they have a lot of stodgy historical fare. Houdini was pretty lackluster. No, by far, the worst TV movies gotta be the ones produced by Lifetime. Yeeugggh. As for Halle? Hey, I was saying this, too, in forums a few weeks back when the story broke on Corona. If you go to the BET web site, they have audio-video clips of her from that interview. They have the part leading up to that now infamous comment, I believe, but not the remark itself. Can anyone get a transcript online and see if she really said it or if it was taken out of context? My guess is, though, from having listened to those other clips that she was quoted correctly, in context, and meant what we all fear she meant. Nail her ass on it when she shows up at some comic con a year from now and see the whole room turn on her.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Grunter and Jobringa1

    by Loki Trickster

    Grunter, unfortunately, you are talking out of your ass again. Jo said he created characters that are archetypes, not that he created the archetypes himself; that "Preacher" and "Angel" have the similar "framework" and "conventions" that they use...by the nature of archetypes, no one person can create them; they come a priori, before everything else. -Loki

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 10:20 a.m. CST

    I'm sorry but Jimmy Fallon is funny

    by Cineman

    He is the only talented guy who has joined SNL recently. Why talk shit about Fallon when you got waste of spaces like Chris Parnell and Horatio Sans. I agree the opener was a little lackluster but it had some great moments. The OZ skit was the highlight but I enjoyed the bit with Fallon doing a dead-on impersonation of Seinfeld with Jerry sitting right next to him. Also, though I was tempted to turn it off, the last skit was enjoyable just to watch Farrell, Seinfeld, Fallon and Sans crack up at the end. Fallon is showing promise, they should have him do more of what he did last season with his acosutic songs (It worked for Sandler). I can'tn wait for the Ladies Man movie. Its about time Tim Meadows got his time in the spotlight, this movie is probably what's kept him on the show all these years. Superstar looks absolutley horrible though, except for Farrel, who is funny when he is just standing still.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Random Thoughts for a Random Day

    by SithPenguin

    Re: X-men, saw Mystery, Alaska last night (average sports flick) but made the realization that Russel Crowe should have been given anything he wants to play Wolverine. He's too tall but other than that, perfect! Re: Don McKellar, he rocks! From Red Violin to Twitch City to Last Night he's a brilliant writer/director. I hope he makes it huge in the states and worldwide!

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 11:37 a.m. CST

    RE:THE PERFECT WOLVERINE

    by JON1969

    ... what about Richard Tyson? ... if anyone remembers him.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 11:53 a.m. CST

    "Preacher" and comparisons to "Angel"

    by JesseCuster

    "Preacher" is my favorite anything. That puts it way above movies, books, or other comics. Every month I cannot wait until that 30 page fix of pure joy arrives in my box at the comic shop. It is everything a comic should be and unfortunately, it's the only one that excells at being what it should on the market today. I don't collect any other comic, because while all the others, (Even previously bad ass comics like "Sandman" and "Spawn".) have dilluted and pissed away all hope of originality and anything pure that was in them, "Preacher" maintains a frightening consistency to not only piss people off, but bring everything together in the most amazing ways. That's why I love this book. Now, I liked "Angel" and cursory appearances aside, (ie: Angel=Jesse, Glenn Quinn=Cassidy, Cordelia=Tulip) "Angel" can never do what "Preacher" does. It would have to try damn hard to even approach ONE OUNCE of what "Preacher" has. That's why I pray to God that they never make a flick out of "Preacher". It would never work, they would cram too much in and no one would fucking get it. It's the first comic in history that if you filmed the story segments back to back, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM would be a kick ass flick in it's own right. But, they would never do that, they'd fuck it up and I pray every day that Kevin Smith or whoever the fuck suggested that crack slime Ben Affleck to play Jesse comes to their senses and realizes that it can never be done right. "Angel" isn't "Preacher", it can't even be a good "Preacher" rip off. Angel is his own character, he has his own problems and set of motives. The thing that makes "Preacher" so great is it's constant willingness to go as far as possible over the top to maintain the atmosphere it has. You've got angels fucking demons, a secret Christian society previously run by the fattest bastard (No offense Harry.) ever to grace the page since Jabba the Hutt, who is into bulemia and the breeding of a Christ child, even if it means breeding within the same bloodline, ("God or Man, you can't fuck your sister and expect much good to come of it", one of my favorite lines.) You've got vampires and a totally hip riff on the super-pathetic "Goth" losers who idolize the (When you actually take the time to realize it.) lyric stupidity of the books of Anne Rice and all the other pasty posers like her. You've got a character named Arseface, tribute to Bill Hicks, (IMHO THE GREATEST COMIC OF ALL TIME!!!!) , the Saint of Killers, Crazy sex, Crazy Gore, WAAAAAAY FUCKED UP CHILDHOODS, and the goddamned GHOST OF JOHN WAYNE! How the fuck can "Angel" ever do that? Answer: NEVER NOT IN A BILLION YEARS. Don't read too much into it. I can pretty much quote "Preacher" verbatim and I really gotta tell ya, aside from the three characters, "Angel", as good as it is, doesn't look a whole lot like "Preacher". If it did, I would tape it and watch nothing else. On it's own, it's a good spin off for a character that could be a bad ass in television enviroment where bad asses are non-existent.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 12:13 p.m. CST

    RE: Cineman

    by mrbeaks

    IMO, those Fallon "highlights" are emblematic of SNL's problems. Sure, the acoustic routine worked (occasionally) for Sandler, but that was, like, five years ago. Plus, it's Sandler's bit! As any comic worth his salt would be more than happy to tell you, there is nothing lower than stealing material, and, to this date, that is all I've seen Fallon do (thanks for throwing Myers in there, 'cause I forgot he rips him off, as well.) The Seinfeld thing on Weekend Update...... yet another "ape the celebrity while he/she's present" bit. How many times have we seen this? Let's list a couple..... Eddie Murphy as Stevie Wonder, Dana Carvey as Dennis Miller (which was, admittedly, very funny, especially when Tom Hanks made it a trio) -- how about some new ideas folks? There are some very talented performers on the show (a great trio of gals, Meadows, Ferrell, Kattan,) but, again, they're getting no support from the writing staff, and, to make matters worse, Michaels keeps bringing in hacks like Sanz and Fallon (I'm reserving judgment on Morgan 'cause the guy's made me laugh with his Star Jones impersonation.) Sadly, Lorne is under no pressure to reinvent SNL, as the show continues to do well enough in the ratings to justify its existence, and even if it does begin to slip, I betchya he'd pull the plug before attempting to change the format. So, go elsewhere for cutting edge comedy. The Upright Citizens Brigade continues to do great work, as does Mr. Show. Also, keep your eyes peeled for Louis C.K.'s Filthy Stupid Talent Show (I think I got that title right.) If you don't know Mr. C.K.'s name, he's (among many other things) Chris Rock's head writer, and one of the funniest guys in the business (yes, even funnier than Bruce Vilanch, and that is a joke.) In fact, the more I think about all of these other excellent venues, the more I wonder why I even give a shit about SNL anymore.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Halle, I still love you baby

    by gyalwa

    I just picture you sucking that lollipop in Bulworth and all is forgiven. I recall similar comments made by Gary Oldman when he was doing Lost In Space about how the only reason he was lowering himself to working on that film was to fund his personal projects like Nil by Mouth. I'm sure that pissed off lots of Lost In Space fans as well as the crew who worked on it. In your case Halle, I think you just used a poor choice of words to indicate that the X-Men is not close to your heart like Dorothy Dandridge is, and I thank you for speaking your mind and being honest as opposed to kissing the directors and fans' asses. I still love you girl, just be a bit more tactful next time. Call me, we'll do lunch!

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 12:48 p.m. CST

    CASEY SIEMASKO?

    by JON1969

    Yeah that Ricard Tyson. I could live with ... Casey Siemasko... and I'm glad that you remember Three O' clock ... guilty pleasure film! Speaking of guilty pleasure films ... here we go ...what GUILTY PLEASURE FILMS ..will anyone confess to ... you know, the films that you really love for some perverse pleasure of you own ... and since I started this, I will go first ... "They call me Trinity", "Trinity is still my name", "DeathStalker","Battle of the Gigantors,(I am sure that I miss spelled this but whatever... it was a monster movie..there was two HUGE ASS creatures, one was good the other one was MEAN he was eating peolpe and shit...),"Gargoyles" (its a 70's film, not the cartoon),"NightBreed"...that's all right now, but some more will spring up later... see, I know none of these films are really good...but I have a fondness for them ... Oh shit, "I Come in Peace" ... oh shit ... I'm out of here ...before I start to pour out more... LATER

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 1:32 p.m. CST

    HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

    by JON1969

    HOLY BATMAN .... GUILTY PLEASURES ...FILMS!!!! HEY SSZERO... LOKI...DUKERAY...MR.E...WHAT DO YOU GUYS HAVE TO ADD ...

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Finally.....

    by mrbeaks

    I've figured out that Eternal is IN FACT Cleveland Indians left fielder David Justice aka the former Mr. Halle Berry. Rant all you want, Eternal..... just as long as you don't allow this anger to affect your play tonight.

  • Oct. 6, 1999, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Cover All Topics Like Butter

    by NuSchool

    To start off, I'd like to say that I was the chimp who called in to KABC and said "I'm first". i can't believe I woke up so early on a Saturday to make that lame-ass joke. Second, I am really baffled by the Jimmy Fallon Dilema. You see, there is an indy film called THE ENTREPENAURS which Jimmy stars in and he is fucking genuis in it. He's got this goofy, yet cuddily, hilarious thing going on. When I heard he got SNL I was really excited. But nowhere on the show is he allowed to bust loose. You can see his Quan (hah-hah) poking its head out from in between impressions, but he never seems to be given the opportunity to do anything else. And last but not least...TWO MOON JUNCTION is the best Richard Tyson movie eva. Mila, Sherilyn...Oh My GAWD! Something so sexy about a circus coming to town.

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