I am – Hercules!! “Finley,” an untested spy, calls the “Undercovers” pilot co-written and directed by J.J. Abrams “weak and derivative storywise, with decent acting keeping it from being a total bust.” You can skip directly to “Finley’s” complete review in the big blue box below, but I first feel obliged to offer this lengthy caveat: Back during the summer of 2001 the two series generating the most positive buzz were “Alias” and “24.” That July someone I now regard as an absolute idiot sent in a single review trashing both pilots. “24,” this person wrote, “felt like I was watching the small screen version of [the big screen real-time Johnny Depp bomb] ‘Nick Of Time.’” I had seen “Nick of Time”; it was terrible. I wondered: Why all the strong buzz otherwise? When I finally saw the “24” pilot I thought it one of the best pilots I’d ever seen. This same individual wrote that the “Alias” pilot was “a hyperkenetic [sic] compendium of spy clichés with the ludicrous premise of a girl being a graduate student by day, international espionage agent by night.” I wondered again: Why all the strong buzz otherwise? When I finally saw the “Alias” pilot (also, as it happens, written and directed by Abrams) I thought it one of the best pilots I’d ever seen. End caveat. The version of “Undercovers” our untested spy “Finley” saw may not be the final version (it may, however, be the version that won the project a series order from NBC on Monday):

Herc, Three weeks ago I was given the "honor" of watching the Undercovers pilot. I was at the Excalibur Casino in Vegas, and NBC was offering $15 to anyone who wished to watch an "exciting preview of an upcoming show." Naturally, being someone who doesn't mind getting paid I hopped on the opportunity. Undercovers, though directed by 2000s wunderkind JJ Abrams, is severely lacking in promise as a show. The pilot's plot is fairly simple: two unbelievably attractive leads- I mean, a married couple running a catering company are in reality former spies. They are called back into duty by the government to capture a spy who is believed to be a turncoat to the Russian Mafia. Meanwhile, the female spy's sister (who is naturally a younger former screwup trying to prove she can handle the business while our leads are "at a conference in San Francisco." Naturally there are twists and turns, the female lead gets stripped down to her underwear (this is a JJ Abrams production, after all) and "clever banter" is used to show that this couple may be top-secret superspies, but they're a married couple with their own personal issues to deal with. Okay, so the main question to ask is "can this be a viable, continuous series?" In my mind, that's addressed by looking that three things- the cast, the concept and the continued plot viability. The Cast: Pretty folks all around, and Gerald McRaney to boot. Honestly, the cast isn't that bad when you look at it. If there's any chance for the series to continue past an initial order, it's on their shoulders. The Concept: Married spies. Trying to maintain a cover while doing work for the government. Home life infringing on work. Maintaining a secret life. Does any of this sound familiar? It should, because I just described "True Lies." Also, see "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" and a plethora of other previous works that this show seems a bit derivative towards. The show's main concept is pretty damned weak when push comes to shove. Continued Plot Viability: Okay, here's the major wild card. IF (and that's a big if) Abrams performs as in the past, then there will be some overarching plot arc that he can use to his advantage. That may be a big help for the show, but it'd have to be something really big to keep any sort of interest in the show. Overall, the show is weak and derivative storywise, with decent acting keeping it from being a total bust. There's a possibility for potential if Abrams stays interested in the show, but minus something really intriguing for a season plot you can pass on this.

Abrams has only directed two other pilots – for “Alias” and “Lost,” both widely acclaimed – so I’m not sure how effective “Finley’s” review will be in dissuading viewers from checking “Undercovers” out this autumn. NBC will be likely be sending some version of the “Undercovers” pilot to TV critics later this month, so keep your eyes peeled. Follow Herc on Twitter!! Follow Evil Herc on Twitter!!

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