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Dr Jizzum cheers the first bloody test screening of Ridley Scott's GLADIATOR!!!!
Alright... This is pure jealosy right now. This film. GLADIATOR is a film that... first of all... We have to wait till NEXT FRIGGIN SUMMER for... But... DAMMIT! Argh.
Ok ok ok... I'm in control again. You see. This movie will be glorious. It's all right there in the script. But it is an extremely gory violent film. IF... Dreamworks really wants to do something noble and giant here. They'd do something that Warner Brothers did back in 1981 when EXCALIBUR came out. EXCALIBUR was released in theaters as PG and R at the same time. If this film and this cut were to get an NC-17.... Release both versions. DO IT! Release a PG-13 and NC-17 version of the film. It'd be the coolest ballsiest move around. However, if they cut this film to death... sigh... I'll just cry. I really will. Feel the energy and passion that Dr Jizzum spurts down below. Notice how enthused he is. That could be all of us. If only we get to see the complete gory film.
WOW! What a RUSH!!! I just got back from I think one of the first screenings
for Ridley Scotts Dreamworks Extravaganza "GLADIATOR" and let me tell you
boys and girls out there! It has SUMMER 2000 Box Office Smash written all
over it! I have to admit, I have heard of this production before but you see
I am not a big fan of the Big sword-and-sandal epics but after seeing this
I feel like running out to the video store and doing some catching up!
Dreamworks, I hear sank allot of dough into this return to the epic flick
and let me tell you, It sure paid off!!! This is not a big budget disaster
with lots of water in it! This is a Balls to the Walls gladiator flick that
will get your blood pumping and your palms sweating!
Before I get into the whole aspect of the movie, I just want to say I hope
that the marketing department handles the trailer with smart care and
deliver the mystery and impact of the flick and not give away the whole
entire story for the film is filled with intrigue and betrayal. I am just
sick of trailers giving away the whole entire film (Double Jeopardy
anyone...no thanks...)
Ridley Scott returns in full epic glory from his bombs (GI JANE,
1492:CONQUEST OF PARADISE and WHITE SQUALL)
From the opening scene to the ending, the movie is filled with Jaw-Dropping
visuals, diffrent film formats, Gorgeous Color, and BLOOD AND GORE!!! I
really hope they don't cut anything out of this film, except for maybe trim
the pace because the blood and gore is not overdone but just perfect! The
lucky audience members applauded after several gory battle scenes and I can
tell they were really into it!!! This is not your typical mind-numbing sword
flick but because of the brutal force of the battles, make sure you don't
bring a wimpy date who gets sick at the sight of a wound or blood, because
let me tell you, GLADIATOR rocks in that department!
There is something to be said about RIdley Scott returning to delivering
this extreme voilent epic in these days and times. THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS
WE LOVE THE BLOOD AND GUTS!!!! WE are spectators in the arena watching like
sick twisted souls wating to see the arm flying off, waiting to see the
jugular fountain of ruby red blood, the decapitations....at first the
battles were filmed in that fast, then slow jerky motion that I was getting
a little dizzy at but once the gladiators were in the arena, it was no holds
barred battles that I couldn't take my eyes off of! The visual impact
matched what I felt was the best sound effects to date. Every swish of the
blade and the slicing and dicing sounded totally 3-D and just to think this
was a work print! The music was a temp, but sweeping along with the film.
THE STORY: Intriguing and Compelling, Ridley Scott is a masterful story
teller, in the beginning I was like " Oh No, not another Braveheart wannabe,
but then after a interesting plot twist, I was HOOKED!!!
I am not sure how historical correct the movie was but I really did not
care, I always ditched History class in school because my teacher was a
chain-smoking bitch, but never the less I was never confused and it never
felt like you were watching a boring Mini-Series with Yasmine Bleeth.
The Acting:
PERFECTION! WOW! By the time this movie is released, Hopefully Russell Crowe
will be a household name ( THE INSIDER????) He brings a conviction to the
role of the invincible Maximus that is totally belivable! YOU cannot wait
for him to rip off his nemesis head. He is by all means not the gigantic
buff Gladiator everyone would imagine but he is perfect! GREAT ACTING!
PERFECT CASTING!
Joaquin Phoenix plays the bitter Emperor Commodus with that wicked
brattiness that I was completely surprised he pulled it off. At times he was
such a cold hearted weasel, He was a bit over the top at times but by the
end, He fully redeems himself.
The late Oliver Reed was brilliant in the role of Proximo, and Connie
Nielsen basically played the Sophie Marceau role as Lucilla, sister of
Commodus, she was good but who is she? My other favoirte charecter was JUBA
played with a brutal fierceness by Djimon Hounsou who as you may have
remembered in AMISTAD. His Gladiator rocked, he was a true warrior and
someone who balanced off of Russell Crowe perfectly.
What more can I say, except Summer 2000 came early and this movie will make
be a big hit, you'll see. It is all about BLOOD AND GUTS returning and when
done right, Gladiator is unforgettable! I asked my buddy who came with me to
the screening..."Do you like watching Gladiator movies?" and he laughed and
told me that was a line from a movie...can you only guess which one????
DR. JIZZUM out of here
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It's that movie with both Love Boat's Vicki and the people from that Taster's Choice commercial... and maybe the first film in history to introduce Ebonics as a foreign language. Now since I'M FIRST - I'M FIRST (insomnia pays!)I better get a damn prize buddy. Here's one for you now.. WHO said this "Keep in mind, one of our patients is a cannibal. Try and guess which one - I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."
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Harry, I was glad to hear your views on talkback - it is one of the funniest aspects of AICN... but it sure attracts some wierdos.
"...jugular fountain of ruby red blood...". Ewww. -
Was it just me, or did this review pump you up without giving you anything at all? It's like chinese food: It tastes good, but you are still hungry. I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT SOME SCENES, GODDAMIT!
This was the first that i have heard about this movie, and though someone loved it, I still don't know anything about it... -
I'm sick. What am I sick of? THESE TOUCHY FEELING FUCKING CHICK ORIENTED "STEPMOM" SUCK FESTS!! That's what I'm sick of. Ooooo! Your mommy's dying of cancer? That makes you sad? Makes you want to cry and share your feelings in a super weepy, sugary sweet way with me? WELL FUCK YOU!
I DON'T CARE! I WANT TO SEE SOME BLOOD GODDAMIT!!! I want to see men, hitting, chopping, shooting, stomping, gouging, burning, and basically FUCKING EACH OTHER UP!
Story? I'd be just pleased as motherfucking punch if you'd just recycle "The Wild Bunch" over and over and put all your time in the killing and beatings. That would please me just fine. Some tits here and there, but really I just want to see the violence.
"Gladiator" sounds like that. Hell, it may even have a message I'll pay attention to if it's decent. Praise Jesus that someone is finally recognizing the need for flicks like this. -
Listen ... it is very nice to hear "walls to the balls" ... but could you like to tell us some particulars ..without giving away too much. I like Russel Crow as well, but really, what has the man really done besides the brilliant L.A. Confidentional ... he needs to do some more good work and than maybe he can be the BIG star that you hope he will become ... I am looking forward to the Insider .. anything by Michael Mann! Well til next summer than...
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Go see Romper Stomper, an Australian film about skinheads. Crowe plays the gang leader and there are some awesome fight scenes. I know it was a small part but what about Sam Raimi's the quick and the dead? and what about Virtuosity, well maybe we'll forget that one.....
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AIRPLANE! of course...
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I was very wary of this film in the early stages mostly, well, because of Ridley Scott. I frankly don't like many things he does, the only one I even liked was Alien. Crowe is a great actor (I even liked him in Virtuosity) though so I was hoping it would be good since we have never really had a good movie like Gladiator in a while. This review just put me over the edge. I feel like Scott is really gonna make us feel like we're there in the arena. Hopefully not just as spectators, but there facing the tiger ourselves. This has easily moved into the top five movies I want to see next year, and I want to see a lot.
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That's from the Simpsons, of course...I believe the one where Flanders finally goes off the deep-end and tells everybody what he really thinks of them. And of course, Sarin Rufus goes off and other rant that we'll all ignore. Here's a hint...if you want to piss people off, it's best not to appear that you're solely trying to piss them off. I assign you a healthy dose of reading Harlan Ellison so you can study up on how to piss people off by saying something interesting for a change. -Loki
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I'm also a bit nervous about this, but it does sound like Ridley Scott has found a film to finally live up to his early promise shown in "Alien" and "Blade Runner"...he's good two good chances to score with "Gladiator" and "Hannibal"...I just hope he doesn't fuck it up. "What makes the grass grow?" "BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD!!!" -Loki
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Hey man ... where are you .. we could use your insight here! Question? Who's fallen further Tony or Ridley... Hey Loki ... you have to much time on your hand man! I never would have gotten that shit.. oh well.
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Well, no one actually, I don't hang with people whose statements and conclusions are as obvious as yours.
However, "Black Rain", "Legend" and "G.I. Jane" did not suck. They were all good films and only suffered in the fact that the assholes who saw them first were people like you.
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That reviewer is too easily impressed by sword-play.
I was at the screening as well and most thought the film was "good." Not "excellent."
The most critical flaw the film had was its pacing...intense combat scenes broken up by occassionally and needlessly distracting melodramatics. The new score may be able to carry the viewer through those scenes at a better clip, but as it stands it is too jarring to go from frenetic action to the dead calm and quiet of Thin Red Line style interludes. It just didn't work and most of the audience agreed.
That's why most of the respondents felt the 2+ hours of film needed to be tightened up. That's NOT to say scenes need to be cut (that would hurt the storyline), but watching a man cry silently still for 5 minutes is getting out of hand...unless you like watching the dew drop resting on the leaf in The Thin Red Line.
Personnaly, I believe Scott is a genious and his stable of actors here as it was in his best films was tremendous. The audience applauded at the end of this one...no cheering or yelling, but significantly more than a golf clap.
So, if you can't wait for Summer 2000, go rent Sparticus, Excalibur (Boorman's combat scenes are as good as, if not better than, those composed by Scott), or Braveheart (which is what most compared this flick to and one that will be tough to beat). -
You are right about BraveHeart ... it will be tough to beat that film. Here's my two cents about Ridley Scott ... he's good, but he falls short in the genius area ..."Legend" was a cute fairy tale ... "Blackrain" was a promising little film that fell short ... if there was any film that cried out to have a martial artist in it ... this was the film. Steven "I wearing anything loose to cover up my fat ass" Seagal would have been ideal for this movie, cause at the time Seagal was interesting and damn was oh so promising ... but he ahs fallen into the hack files ... "G.I. Jane" ... haven't seen it ... can't comment, but I will tonight ... dollar night at the Video store ... Ridley hasn't did anything... to match his considerable talents as of late, but he still has time ... we don't really have any more great film makers right now, but we have a slew of damn good ones. Atleast ... Ridley is not that tired ass hack Michael Bay ...I will give the man this he can shot some wonderful stuff, even if his films have fallen short...
let us hope that with Gladiator, Ridley will return to form ... BUT
in my opinion BRAVEHEART WILL BE TOUGH TO BEAT! ...and what about the messenger Joan of Arc!!! -
I think the line your referring to is from the episode of the Simpson's where Homer is put into the mental institution and meets the big guy who thinks he's Michael Jackson. If I remember correctly, the family goes to visit Homer, and have to get stamped with "Sane", and then the doctor says something like "One of our patients is a cannibal, see if you can figure out which one." I could be wrong, though.
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I've said it before and I'll say it again: Russell Crowe is the coolest of cool. He's Mr. Cool !
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As I said, I wasn't sure what episode it is...it is the one where they have to be stamped "sane" to go visit somebody, but I don't know who it is...I don't think it's the Michael Jackson one, since I haven't seen that one since it first aired back about when I was still in junior high...and I remember hearing the cannibal line last year sometime on a repeat. Anyone else know? -Loki
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I hope studio's have finally gotten over their fear of blood and guts. Thank god for movies like "Saving Private Ryan" and "BraveHeart" showing the big wigs that real stories can show the brutality of war and also make them lots of money and garner accolades. Give us realism, give us blood and guts,and throw in a good script with a plot. The action junkies will line up for ya.
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Ned Flanders goes crazy after his house is destroyed. Homer and family go to the institution to help him. Hope that helped.
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