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'Somewhere, Somehow, Someone's Gonna Pay!' Here Comes A Remake Of COMMANDO!!

Merrick here...
This isn't surprising at all, but it's depressing all the same. Seems Fox is prepping a remake to the Mark Lester directed, Joel Silver produced COMMANDO, which starred Schwarzenegger as a guy called John Matrix. And that...pretty much is all you need to know about how awesome this film was.

(love the cross-cutting 'tween Arnold gearing-up and the forming title design...)

20th Century Fox is going Commando again, setting David Ayer to write and direct a reboot of the 1985 film that became one of the building blocks that transformed Arnold Schwarzenegger from bodybuilder to superstar.
...says Deadline HERE. Ayer comes to the picture having scripted DARK BLUE and TRAINING DAY - he directed STREET KINGS as well. The original film also starred Bill Duke, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, ROAD WARRIOR's Vernon Wells, a pre-violable Alyssa Milano, and featured a funktastic score by James Horner that sounded like this:
The 1985 version is still widely available on DVD and Blu-Ray, including a Director's Cut which I just remembered I haven't seen yet (HERE). If memory serves, a sequel to Lester's film was actually scripted - based on a novel called NOTHING LASTS FOREVER by Roderick Thorp. When Arnold opted out of the follow-up, said script was re-purposed and Bruce Willis was inserted into a tweaked role - resulting in DIE HARD.

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Readers Talkback
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  • April 29, 2010, 10:27 a.m. CST

    First!

    by Tacom

  • April 29, 2010, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Let off some steam Bennett!!!!!!

    by Drsambeckett1984

    Classic

  • April 29, 2010, 10:30 a.m. CST

    TOO BAD IT'S NOT "GOING COMMANDO"

    by BringingSexyBack

    Starring Ryan Reynolds. Fuck.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:33 a.m. CST

    I like you Sully...

    by Mrhazard

    That's why I'm going to kill you last...

  • April 29, 2010, 10:33 a.m. CST

    I like you Sully. That's why I'm going to kill you last.

    by Tacom

  • April 29, 2010, 10:34 a.m. CST

    I lied.

    by Tacom

  • April 29, 2010, 10:34 a.m. CST

    I LIED.

    by HoboCode

  • April 29, 2010, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Remember Sully, when I said I'll kill you last???

    by Mrhazard

    I LIED!!!

  • April 29, 2010, 10:35 a.m. CST

    "Is all this really necessary."

    by HoboCode

  • April 29, 2010, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Oh fuck you Hollywood! Just fuck you!!!!!!

    by jason2304

    Who's gonna star in this.....Patterson? Effron? Oh fuck, fuck, fuckedy fuck!....Thats all I can say....Fuck!!!!

  • April 29, 2010, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Oh, and please don't disturb my friend...

    by Exasperilious

    he's dead tired.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:35 a.m. CST

    And death to those who remake this...

    by Mrhazard

  • April 29, 2010, 10:35 a.m. CST

    "I eat Green Berets for breakfast!"

    by HoboCode

  • April 29, 2010, 10:36 a.m. CST

    The best lines are in that trailer

    by David Cloverfield

    I love that movie to bits. They'll probably make a gritty, realistic remake with shaky cam and a down to earth, fallable John Matrix. A really needed addition to action movies.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:36 a.m. CST

    "Slitting a little girl's throat is like cutting warm butter"

    by CerebralAssassin

    It's true!!

  • April 29, 2010, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Footage of Arnold going insane:

    by seppukudkurosawa

    http://tinyurl.com/dg56lo

  • April 29, 2010, 10:36 a.m. CST

    'I'm sick of this macho bullshit!"

    by HoboCode

  • April 29, 2010, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Next up:Total Recall remake

    by Exasperilious

    Followed by Kindergarten Cop and of course, The Running Man. Remakes are the lowest form of artistry.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:38 a.m. CST

    This shit is the Cock

    by Cockofgod

    Would have been a great way to do 24, Jack and his Cock kicking ass

  • April 29, 2010, 10:38 a.m. CST

    I Lied!

    by Drsambeckett1984

  • April 29, 2010, 10:40 a.m. CST

    I would love to see

    by LegendaryPinkDot

    David Patrick kelly's part given to Jackie Earle Haley in this, because as a kid, I confused the 2 all the time

  • April 29, 2010, 10:42 a.m. CST

    change it to a college age daughter..

    by Bouncy X

    alyssa could play her again since she could easily pass for some hottie in her 20s. plus this time she would be very "violable"

  • April 29, 2010, 10:44 a.m. CST

    What happened to Sully?.........I let him go.

    by HoboCode

  • April 29, 2010, 10:44 a.m. CST

    "These guys eat too much red meat."

    by HoboCode

  • April 29, 2010, 10:45 a.m. CST

    That black chick was tastey

    by umbral_shadow_

    Then she had to open her mouth and speak.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Leave anything for us?.............Just bodies.

    by HoboCode

  • April 29, 2010, 10:49 a.m. CST

    (Sigh...)

    by Bruce Leroy

    Right now I'm nearing a point where I don't even care any more. I'm about done with this Hollywood movie shit. Hell, get Michael Bay to do it. What the fuck do I care.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:49 a.m. CST

    "Fuck YOOOOOOUUU!!"

    by V'Shael

    It was a very enjoyable, but very very silly movie.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:50 a.m. CST

    C'mon Bennett, lets party!

    by Kief_Ledger

    This blows. Commando is a classic 80's action movies. In fact, my friends and I play a drinking game to it. Anytime Arnold kills someone or performs a ridiculous feat of strength, take a drink. Try keeping up with the last 20 minutes of the movie, it's damn near impossible.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Ennh, I'll wait for the remake of KINDERGARTEN COP

    by SpyGuy

    Because you KNOW it's coming.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:50 a.m. CST

    "What are you expecting?" "World War Three"

    by V'Shael

  • April 29, 2010, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Yum!

    by Hangar315

    Tommy Chong's little girl was hot in this movie!

  • April 29, 2010, 10:52 a.m. CST

    kindergarten cop remake

    by Bouncy X

    with dwayne johnson..it be kizmit or something.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:53 a.m. CST

    "Why don't they just call him Girl George?"

    by CyberVishnu

    Dude, cmon, let's do a twenty years later sequel! Remake deez nuts!

  • April 29, 2010, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Didn't they already remake this

    by puzzledman69

    Watched TAken the other day and that's basically a remake of Commando but a little more gritty with shaky cam

  • April 29, 2010, 10:53 a.m. CST

    "I'm gonna kill you John, I'm gonna kill you now"!

    by Stalkeye

  • April 29, 2010, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Not true about DIE HARD

    by Vern

    DIE HARD's roots go all the way back to THE DETECTIVE starring Frank Sinatra. That was from a Roderick Thorpe novel, he wrote Nothing Lasts Forever so they could do a sequel movie (kind of like why Michael Crichton wrote The Lost World). They really did try to develop it with Sinatra but of course that never happened and the plan changed many times over the years until finally becoming the Bruce Willis movie we all live by. In the book it's an older man named Leland trying to save his daughter. The tone is alot different but most of the major action scenes (fire hose, bombs down the elevator shaft) are straight from the book.<p> Anyway, it doesn't make any sense to remake COMMANDO. Nobody can match its perfect balance of absurd and awesome, so the only thing they'll really have is the premise of a special ops guy whose daughter gets kidnapped, which is is a classic staple of the genre. Just do something similar like THE MARINE, but do a better job than THE MARINE.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:55 a.m. CST

    by the way

    by puzzledman69

    Fucking awesome film. Watched it with my dad a few years back and we counted how many people Arnie kills, not including explosions. We lost count at 102.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:55 a.m. CST

    "I'll be back Bennet"

    by Stalkeye

    Where the fuck is that Fred Mercury looking MoFo anyway?

  • April 29, 2010, 10:55 a.m. CST

    How not to use cover.

    by cookylamoo

    The funniest part of the original is how the bad guys would run out from behind walls, trees, tanks, and any other safe place to leap directly in front of Arnold's guns.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:56 a.m. CST

    "If Matrix was here..."

    by Mosquito March

    "...he'd laugh, too!"

  • April 29, 2010, 10:56 a.m. CST

    "You're gonna have to play ball, right?"

    by Kief_Ledger

    "WRONG!" (shoots guy in the head)

  • April 29, 2010, 10:56 a.m. CST

    "You fuckin' whore."

    by Mosquito March

  • April 29, 2010, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Aw, HELLZ NAW!

    by BoggyCreekBeast

    Where's Will Smith? Mr. Remake HAS to be sniffing around this somewhere!

  • April 29, 2010, 10:58 a.m. CST

    All that matters to me now is Chenny

    by puzzledman69

    Gotta love the shed scene, any film where arnie scalps someone with a lawnmower blade has gotta be worth a watch

  • April 29, 2010, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Exclusive: First Look At The Destroyer From THOR!

    by thinboyslim.

    http://tinyurl.com/2g9vkwz

  • April 29, 2010, 11:01 a.m. CST

    James Horner's Best Soundtrack

    by Liminal

    This was clearly the soundtrack that got James Horner the gig on Aliens, Titanic and Avatar. His best work.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:02 a.m. CST

    "Wanna see me kick some ass?"

    by Mosquito March

  • April 29, 2010, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Hollywood is in the toilet

    by kwisatzhaderach

  • April 29, 2010, 11:02 a.m. CST

    I can't believe that Horner score

    by The Ringwraith

    I had no idea he was capable of writing such cheesy generic electronica 80s fluff. Sure can't say it sounds like anything else he's done though!

  • April 29, 2010, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Liminal

    by Mosquito March

    Horner recycled the soundtrack in CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Yeah...

    by bagwanbob

    It'll star Ben Stiller and they'll call it "Going Commando". Next...

  • April 29, 2010, 11:08 a.m. CST

    @ Vern

    by c4andmore

    The Marine was a perfectly serviceable action movie, almost '80s in its execution. It was no Commando, but it was good.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:10 a.m. CST

    John i dont need the girl,I DONT NEED THE GIRL

    by ominus

    Bennet the most awesomely awesome villain in film history.<br /><p>and i agree this remake is unnecessary,in fact Commando is Commando for specific reasons as mentioned above.you take that out of Commando and you have a different film.Ok i understand that they are only capitalizing the title of the film,but still this thing is stupid.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:12 a.m. CST

    "Fuck you, asshole! "

    by turketron_2

    "Fuck *you*, asshole."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:12 a.m. CST

    John, I'm not going to shoot you between the eyes"

    by turketron_2

  • April 29, 2010, 11:13 a.m. CST

    if I have to see Sam Worthington carrying logs

    by GhostDad

    just shoot me now.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:13 a.m. CST

    "I'm going to shoot you between the BALLS!"

    by turketron_2

  • April 29, 2010, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Remaking Commando is just lazy

    by Bass Ackwards

    There's not much to remake, it was just a thin premise designed to be an action vehicle. Remaking it would be the equivalent of just making any number of other generic action movies, so just do that. Remaking just means you want to make a generic action movie, and you want to have it already written and storyboarded for you.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:13 a.m. CST

    goddammit

    by redkamel

    just kill me now. <p>Soon I am just going to start believing that CGI killed movies. It seems like ever since that shit came out, people cared more about that than plot and explosions and locations. Then everyone started editing like they were on ADD. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. <p>Arnold really had it the best. Making classics like this, with all the coke, weed, and women he wants. It must have literally been like fucking heaven after a Commando or Conan screening

  • April 29, 2010, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Just please don't fucking do this.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Perfection is impossible to improve upon.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Just had my son watch this for first time....

    by Taragor

    It's like passing the torch from guys who grew up in the 80's to this generation. I told him how I knew every frikin line from this movie (I am laughing at how you all quoted pretty much everything I would have). Loved how the car chase kept being edited so poorly that the yellow Porsche was brand new after Martrix rolls it over and drives off. Or the dummies that were outside the buildings when he blows them up as he assaults the island. This movie should be locked in the vault along with those seeds in Norway to survive the next ice age!

  • April 29, 2010, 11:15 a.m. CST

    "How will I know?"

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "Because all fucking Hell's gonna break loose."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:15 a.m. CST

    On a side note

    by Bass Ackwards

    I don't remember that mall swinging stunt that I see in the trailer, but thats pretty slick, ahhh the 80s.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:16 a.m. CST

    and of all the Arnold films to remake

    by GhostDad

    Look at his filmography. Remaking Conan? OK. Fine. Terminator without him? Sucked but sure, yeah. Hell, I'd love to see a true adaptation of The Running Man! I'd even be OK with a Total Recall remake. But Commando?!! Commando worked ONLY because of Arnold. I'm convinced that all hollywood execs have one of those claw games that they used to have at the arcade, and they just lower the claw into a stack of DVDs and whichever movie they pull out the remake. No other explaination.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:16 a.m. CST

    seppukudkurosawa

    by the new transported man

    Oh man, thanks for sharing that link. The awesomeness builds in intensity, then just pops off at 1:08.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Of course they'll skip the chainmail wifebeater.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Cunting fail.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Your soldiers are nothing.

    by turketron_2

    Matrix and I can kill every single one of them in the blink of an eye. Remember that.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:19 a.m. CST

    "You know what I like best?"

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "The price."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Remake Invasion USA and Death Wish 3 while you're at it

    by GhostDad

    Sam Worthington in both. PG-13. ADD quick editing and CGI blood.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:19 a.m. CST

    "This used to be a great place for hunting slash."

    by Amazing Maurice

    One of my all time favourite movies.<p>Like EVER.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Vern is correct.Sinatra was going to star in Die Hard but that

    by ominus

    never happened.The sequel to Commando was never turned into another movie,because Arnie wanted to change his public profile in order to begin his political career so he started making family movies.You can find its script online.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:19 a.m. CST

    "Got any luggage?"

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "Just him."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Come on Bennet

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Let's Potty!

  • April 29, 2010, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Vern

    by Merrick

    Totally correct re: THE DETECTIVE history/connections and whatnot, but are the two notions mutually exclusive? Seeing many references to DIE HARD being re purposed from COMMANDO 2 (which was itself said to be an adaptation of Thorp's NOTHING LASTS FOREVER book). IMDB, Wiki, etc. are all saying this - and I *believe* I may've heard it on a DIE HARD video commentary track as well (don't have time to sort through multiple commentaries at the moment) Not trying to be contentious, just wondering if the two concepts might feasibly co-exist?

  • April 29, 2010, 11:20 a.m. CST

    This is the most hysterical news since ever!!!!

    by AsimovLives

    There weretalkbackers here who used to say "remake COMMANDO" as a way to joke about the amount of remakes anounced. They said that toungue in cheek. Now Hollywood actually has an official anouncement for a real remake of COMMANDO. His is when reality becames more surreal then comedy. I'm just speachless. I can't wait to tell this to my friends! They will think everybody in Hollywood are retard apes. And they are right.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Erm...no. No Commando was ARNOLD! That was it

    by HarryBlackPotter

    No Arnolt, no movie, dumbass...

  • April 29, 2010, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Amazing Maurice. Shit yes!

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Anybody who's anybody knows that a bar in a mall at noon is the best place to procure cunt. And throw a motherfucker in a phone booth.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:23 a.m. CST

    I love the scene with the cops piling on arnold

    by turketron_2

    In the mall, and he just throws them all off by raising his arms hahaaaa. This movie is one of the true 80's classics. This is a complete fucking FAIL remake. FUCK YOUUUUU HOLLYWOOD.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:23 a.m. CST

    This movie rocked

    by Abominable Snowcone

    because it WAS kind of a joke. Like the video game "Commando" come to life. One nearly-invincible soldier killing an army of hundreds. Throw in Ahnuld's one-liners and it's a fun, campy night at the movies. I'm proud to say I saw this in theatres 25 years ago. They shouldn't touch it.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:24 a.m. CST

    The more I think about it

    by GhostDad

    The more I'm all for it. This could be it, when Hollywood becomes a joke, it could be what finally destroys the intellectually bankrupt Hollywood system. Hire Ratner to direct it based on a script by the two "Crank" guys.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Shot for shot remake is the only way to go EXCEPT........

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Break that fucking Deer's neck at the beginning. Keep the laughing though.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:25 a.m. CST

    I love Freddy Mercury in this...

    by MamboMan

  • April 29, 2010, 11:26 a.m. CST

    puzzledman69

    by HoboCode

    True. Although I believe Arnold scalps him with a circular saw blade. lol.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:27 a.m. CST

    If anyone does a remake

    by Abominable Snowcone

    it should be a fullblown comedy by the "Airplane" / "Naked Gun" guys. Have Matrix throwing saw blades, trowels, hedgetrimmers, Rubix cubes and rubber chickens at people. Whatever was in that shed gets tossed. A tricycle? Throw it. <p> "I like you Solly...that's why I'm lying to you now when I say I'm going to kill you last."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:27 a.m. CST

    acrobatic henchman soldier flips

    by turketron_2

    It always amuses me the extra acrobatic triple twisting flips that the soldiers do whenever Arnold throws bombs at them during the final battle.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:28 a.m. CST

    "My name is Bennett.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    I can eat corn on the cob through a chain link fence. Now, come get your Dawtaugh."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Abominable Snowcone

    by AsimovLives

    No, COMMANDO was not kind of a joke. Youare giving the movie way too much credit, way too much inteligenc,e of which has none. What COMANDO is, is a movie that's a pile of "cool" stuff that peole at the time though that was how an action movie should be like. The cheesines sis unintentional. The movie wants to be the ultimate cool movie. But it ends up as the ultimate dumb movie. To enjoyment to have from it is because how dumb it is. yes, many of the onelines are very funny, but they don't work because they are cool onelines, but because they are so absurd and aplied to such dumb circunstances.<br><br>COMMANDO is a very bad and dumb movie made by dumb idiotic people who though they were making a very cool movie. Which isn't.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:28 a.m. CST

    The only good news in this article...

    by Stryder

    ...is that there's a director's cut of Commando available. Dammit, Amazon.com. Here! Take more of my money! As far as the remake is concerned... I just can't muster the strength to get internet-angry about this crap anymore. To quote a better man, "Hollywood is repackaging my childhood and selling it back to me." I look forward to the inevitable Last Starfighter remake along side a 3D CGI Secret of NIMH. <sigh>

  • April 29, 2010, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Concur w/ Transported Man

    by schadenfreudian

    and the synopsis of that clip is funny, too. "Harry Tasker (Arnold Schwarzenegger, Joel Schumacher's BATMAN AND ROBIN) returns home from the mental hospital, a year after his psychotic breakdown, to challenge his wife (Jamie Lee Curtis, HALLOWEEN H20: 20 Years Later) and daughter (Eliza Dushku, JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK) to a hilarious game of thumb wars."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:29 a.m. CST

    turketron_2

    by GhostDad

    What's even better is that you can clearly see all the springboards they're jumping off of. Hopefully they keep that in the remake, but put it in 3D.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Asi Jeph Loeb co-wrote Commando

    by ominus

    who also co-created Heroes and is also a very active comic writer,Red Hulk is his own creation.And since he is a POS writer its no wonder Commando is a dumb movie.Loeb was the equivalent of Orci/Kutz in his time.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:37 a.m. CST

    What I never got about Die Hard

    by Bass Ackwards

    There's always stories about all these acotrs turning it down before it got to Willis, and not just guys like Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Ford, & Gibson. But guys like Burt Reynolds, Richard Gere, Richard Dean Anderson, Don Johnson. Why the heck did all these guys turn it down, McTiernan was just coming off Predator, and the script had to look like a winner, plus Willis, who was barely a tv star at the time, got paid a bundle to do it, I imagine any of those guys would have had an even bigger payday. It baffles me.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:37 a.m. CST

    "I Eat Green Berets for Lunch"

    by DarfurOnTheRocks2

    .... I remember that that was a distinct jab at Rambo....

  • April 29, 2010, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Love Commando! The only lame part was...

    by thot

    ...the main villain. I always thought he dressed like a gay biker and was a creampuff who could, in no way, take on Arnold. But I did enjoy the waayyy over the top cartoonish violence and Arnold's signature one-liners!

  • April 29, 2010, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Fuck Off

    by Pumpkihn

    Stop remaking shit!! On a side note, interesting factoid about the sequel. Thank fuck Arnold passed on it or we might never have had Die Hard. The greatest movie ever made!

  • April 29, 2010, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Aziz Ansari as the New John Matix

    by DarfurOnTheRocks2

    Once again, we need some South East Asian representation.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Arnold Kills Fat Freddy Mercury

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    "Let off some steam Bennett."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Commando was lightning in a bottle

    by BumLove

    AsimovLives is partly correct, in that, I think a lot of the cheesiness of Commando was unintentional. The part he's wrong about is that Commando it isn't a bad film....Commando is one of the greatest films of all time. It was meant to be funny in parts, but I don't think they knew that Vernon Wells dressed like he's going to a gay Turkish disco was going to be funny...along with many of the other parts....like when the Mexican says, "Cutting a girl's skeen...eet's like cutting warm butter."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:39 a.m. CST

    The tool shed scene is classic

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    It's a video how to instructional guide on the proper use of gardening implements.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Did anyone really think that Bennett was a bad ass?!

    by DarfurOnTheRocks2

    That fish net top was hot though...

  • April 29, 2010, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Commando Director's Cut

    by Bouncy X

    its just like 2 or 3mins longer and has only re-inserted some violence that had been cut to secure whatever rating it had at the time.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:41 a.m. CST

    SCHWARZENEGGER & MILANO

    by ABking

    Fox should ditch this dumb idea of a remake and just get older Schwarzenegger to play JOHN MATRIX again. Then get older sexy Alysa Milano to come back as well. That would be a huge hit. What the hell is Fox and John Davis thinking??? Get ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and call it COMMANDOS. Make it a sequel to the cult classic original

  • April 29, 2010, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Remake: Totally Recall: Kuato's Gotta Eat

    by DarfurOnTheRocks2

    Make it so.... now!

  • April 29, 2010, 11:41 a.m. CST

    NEVER SAW COMMANDO. IS IT ANY GOOD?

    by BringingSexyBack

    Not an Arnold fan.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Thot, of course he was dressed as a gay biker

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    That's his calling. Didn't you see him in The Road Warrior?

  • April 29, 2010, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Leave the fucking classics alone

    by moviemaniac-7

    Nobody could be happy with this...

  • April 29, 2010, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Commando was all Arnold

    by matineer

    The movie probably wouldn't have been made without him. Now if they could have him has a governor who becomes a commando... Strike that.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:45 a.m. CST

    And I thought I was stuck in the 80s

    by Grand Moff Toht

    With my vintage Cadillacs and Members Only jacket. Looks like half of Hollywood's execs are stuck in the 80s too. All the remakes that have come out or are being developed. Wow. On the one hand, I tried watching the old Clash of the Titans the other day on Netflix and it's very creaky, not as fun as I remembered... On the other hand, I have no interest Sam Worthington in seeing Sam Worthington the new Sam Worthington remake Sam Worthington of Clash Sam Worthington of the Titans Sam Worthington. Hey, anyone here remember that Christopher Lee movie from the '70s called Arabian Adventure? Hollywood should remake that one too. You could even use Christopher Lee again.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:45 a.m. CST

    BSB, um yes

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

  • April 29, 2010, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Grand Moff Toht

    by Grand Moff Toht

    You may fire when ready

  • April 29, 2010, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Damn, typo. Anyway: TOOLSHED SCENE

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    MUTHAFUCKAS. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B5xEBASwgE

  • April 29, 2010, 11:47 a.m. CST

    No Reboot

    by Brigon

    Why have a reboot when we could have a sequel? Re-hire Alyssa Milano to play Arnie's grown up daughter. Re-hire Arnie to play Matrix. Give it a blockbuster worthy budget. 50% to be spent on Arnie. 10% on the other actors & 40% on bullets and explosives.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Bennett was a soppy cunt. That's why he's great.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Perfectly groomed cum catcher stache. Chainmail shirt. Fingerless gloves. Kevin Smith at 14 jizz-gut. The taunting dialog in the steam room leading us to believe he'd be just as happy sucking Matrix's shwantz as cutting his throat. <p> Now THAT'S a fucking bad guy we can all get behind. <p> Hollywood will ruin this.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:47 a.m. CST

    THANKS BINKS

    by BringingSexyBack

    I'll Netflix it.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Good thing just revisited this Stunt

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    So we're up to snuff.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Commando Governor Arnold

    by Grand Moff Toht

    He wouldn't be fighting terrorists or dictators or drug dealers. He'd be fighting the state legislature and unions and budget deficits. I think Arnold's action days are behind him unless makes some major changes in his diet and training.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Bennet was gay, no?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I mean, he was so hot for Matrix. Wanting to stab Matrix = wanting penile penetration

  • April 29, 2010, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Ah, BSB has seen the light

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Now granted don't get all upset on me if you don't like the whole. That was the best scene.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Remember Arnold had him booted from the team.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    He violated "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

  • April 29, 2010, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Remember when I promised not to remake you? I lied.

    by Shaun1138

    This sucks. I am so tired of sequels, prequels, re-makes, re-boots, re-imagines and whatever the fuck else you call it. I have refused to watch all remakes. The studios can suck it! Shaun O'Rourke

  • April 29, 2010, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Remake Should Star The Rock

    by kevinwillis.net

    Otherwise, do not bother. I'd love to see a remake of The Running Man, with Pat Sajack and Jason Statham. One that hews a lot closer to the Stephen King novel, which was a nail-biter.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Asimov

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I know the camp was NOT intentional, but surely even then they must have known we could totally see the springboards from which the bad guys were launched when Matrix threw grenades at them.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Stuntcock Mike

    by Grand Moff Toht

    Fucking brilliant on Bennett.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Jeph Loeb was one of the writers.

    by Mosquito March

  • April 29, 2010, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Are you bagging on Commando now, Goatfucker?

    by Lost Jarv

    Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're a walking advertisement for abortion.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Technicaly it was Richard Bachman

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    A good read, but entirely different from the movie. You can't compare the two.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:53 a.m. CST

    This will be the top talkback soon enough

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    everybody's pissed at this news.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:53 a.m. CST

    What I Remember From Commando

    by kevinwillis.net

    Arnold Schwarzenegger running though a rain of bullets as 50 people fired machine guns at him, and they all missed!<br><br> Now, that's an action star.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:54 a.m. CST

    You think they cloned Stormtroopers from Jango?

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Nope, it was those guys.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:55 a.m. CST

    "Taken" was the new "Commando"

    by Shaun1138

    Think about it. "Taken" was the modern day version of "Commando". So, now that we have all seen "Taken" there is no need to see the re-make. God for bid they get some wrestler from the WWE to be the lead.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Technically, It was Stephen King

    by kevinwillis.net

    Richard Bachman was the pseudonym, and aside from Thinner I don't believe King ever wrote any of the Bachman books intending them to be from Richard Bachman. Oh, and Desperation. Those two. The rest were books he wrote that just somehow ended up going the psuedonymic route. But, yes, entirely different from the movie--which is why a Running Man movie that is actually based on the books, instead of Arnie's biceps, would still kick ass, and a much better idea than just another paint-by-numbers remake.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Binks, I watch this film every month and a half or so.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Always on one of the channels. <p>

  • April 29, 2010, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Damn You Michael B -- I mean Joel Silver

    by theplant

    This will be the breaking point of no return -- Ninja Assassin anyone ?

  • April 29, 2010, noon CST

    kevinwillis.net, okay I guess. Check this out

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I have a copy of Thinner by Richard Bachman. No, not Stephen King writing as Bachman, but the hardcover with the fake photo, and everything.

  • April 29, 2010, noon CST

    Why? Why? Why?

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    "Commando" isn't a good movie. Never was. Instead, it's an awesome movie. Awesome is its absolute ridiculousness that could have only come out of the insane 80s. It's a cult film, like "Road House", that can't be re-created. Any re-make of the material can only be purposefully silly, and thus uninteresting, or straight ahead action, and thus uninteresting. "Commando" shouldn't have worked the first time. It's a terrible idea, terrible script with terrible acting. It worked because it DIDN'T work on a sane level. I mean, shit like this happened: They cast Bennet because he was the bad ass from "The Road Warrior" and they needed someone to physically match Schwarzenager, but instead Vernon Wells shows up chunky and squeezes into tank top chain mail. Awesome! You can't do that on purpose!

  • April 29, 2010, noon CST

    "Open yo mouf again..."

    by Mosquito March

    "...an' ah nail it shut."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Never mind the springboards............

    by Stuntcock Mike

    When he lays waste to the barracks in the final battle, you can see behind the dummies wooden props holding them up. <p> Refusal to hide or even attempt to disguise shit like that makes this film one thing............... <p> Professional.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:01 p.m. CST

    I read it as a remake of "Condorman"

    by davida4348

    and now I'm doubly disappointed

  • April 29, 2010, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Actually Binks, I'd be down for a Running Man remake

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Keep the same ending as the book.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:03 p.m. CST

    EH SILVER

    by theplant

    AS QUARITCH WOULD SAY, YOU CROSSED THE LINE - THUMP !

  • April 29, 2010, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Absofuckinglutely not.

    by thesinofthesky

    To quote Arnold in Commando- I have to get my rifle from the shed.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:03 p.m. CST

    If Matrix was here,he would laugh too.

    by ominus

  • April 29, 2010, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Nope, it won't happen.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Too World Trade Centerish.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:06 p.m. CST

    T-BIRD!!!!

    by fanboy71

    FIRE IT UP. FIRE IT UP. Oh, and Commando sucked. I would love a Running Man remake too. That was written by Stephen King as a short story BTW.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Commando and Total Recall

    by Alientoast

    Arnold's two most quotable movies...a remake of Commando just won't be the same. And a Total Recall remake wouldn't be the same without Arnold and the director. "Thank you for using a Johnny Cab, Hope you enjoyed the ride!!!"

  • April 29, 2010, 12:11 p.m. CST

    It's funny how they modeled the cab after

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Robert Picardo.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Bennet was Fredy Mercury on steriods

    by Faust_8

    and just as gay

  • April 29, 2010, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Warwick Davis as Matrix

    by just pillow talk

    I figure the little bastard should be in every absurd remake from here on out.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:13 p.m. CST

    fanboy71, actually a novella

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    or I guess it could be considered a short novel as it was released separately under the pseudonym.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:13 p.m. CST

    I see you got the message Faust.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

  • April 29, 2010, 12:13 p.m. CST

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

    by only1

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO And, VERN, fuck you... The Marine was a DECENT (read: watcheable, not great) action flick for the sake of action... The Marine 2? pure shit.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Running Man was crap

    by Faust_8

    I liked the movie, who edited it though ? It looks like outtakes made it into the final cut

  • April 29, 2010, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Just spreading the good word of Bale

    by Faust_8

    by his mother fucking fists

  • April 29, 2010, 12:17 p.m. CST

    "I'm not going to shoot you between the eyes!

    by BumLove

    I'm going to shoot you between the balls....with my cum!!!" <p> "Let off some steam, Bennett!" <p> *Bennett jerks off on Arnold's balls*

  • April 29, 2010, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Commando 2 script

    by RexNebular

    by Steven E. de Souza and Frank Darabont Link: http://www.mediafire.com/?lgvm2ntynzi

  • April 29, 2010, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Actually, you know what Arnie is extremely quotable?

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Check out the commentaries from Conan and Total Recall.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:18 p.m. CST

    I love listening to your little piss head soilders try to talk t

    by Faust_8

    Matrix and I could ass rape every one of them

  • April 29, 2010, 12:18 p.m. CST

    "What are you expecting, sir?"

    by Ripleys_nipples

    "World War III"

  • April 29, 2010, 12:20 p.m. CST

    "Stay downwind." "You expect me to smel them?"

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    "I did."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:20 p.m. CST

    This isn't a plane, it's a canoe with wings

    by Faust_8

    Well get in and start paddling

  • April 29, 2010, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Never saw The Marines

    by Ripleys_nipples

    Can't stand Charlie Sheen as an action man. Unless, the action is a car crash.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Correct link

    by RexNebular

    has no space, of course, so you'll have to delete it.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:20 p.m. CST

    "I eat Green Beret's rectums for breakfast!"

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "And right now I'm........VERY HUNGRY!"

  • April 29, 2010, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Damn straight Faust_8

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Man, I almost lost the connection. It's like Dorothy's farm outside now, and the lights blinked a coule times.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Bennet wants to be part of The Human Centipede

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    right behind Matrix.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Where's Victor...?

    by D o o d

    I let him GOOOOOOOOO!

  • April 29, 2010, 12:22 p.m. CST

    " I can't believe this macho bullshit"

    by Faust_8

    Then Arnold grabs the other guys balls.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:22 p.m. CST

    "Slitting a little girl's throat is like cutting warm butter. "

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "Put the knife away and drop your gitch."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:22 p.m. CST

    You can't remake a Classic like this.

    by Stalkeye

    It's not Commando without the original cast and all the silliness that occurred;matrix jumping 30 feet from a plane only to land safely in shallow water,Matrix not getting his despite all the bullets flying towards him, (shades of GiJoe cartoon)Matrix tossing aside the mall cops with ease and not to mention how he ripped the steampipe and hurled it through bennet's guts.This guy could've given Steve rogers a fight from all the shit that went on.<p>Asi, Commando is one of those films in which you have to leave your brain at the door.(i.e. Suspending disbelief.)Yes, it's dumb but alot of fun and no doubt help to push Ahhnuld further into the Action Hero status. (post Terminator, of course.)

  • April 29, 2010, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Binks

    by Faust_8

    sunny here in Boston

  • April 29, 2010, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Please, its not like the original is a classic or anything

    by moorE12

    It is absolute guilty 80's cheese. And the remake will probably be a generic action movie. Nothing to get your panties is a knot over. Maybe they will change the name of the movie to not hurt anyone's feelings.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:23 p.m. CST

    "Keep on the airwaves and let me know if you hear anything unusu

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "I'll keep at it. What are you expecting?" <p> "Anal."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:25 p.m. CST

    "Where's Sully?"

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "In the shower." <p> "Hmmmmm"***rubs hands together***

  • April 29, 2010, 12:26 p.m. CST

    I haven't even read the article

    by Faust_8

    who's directing McG, Tony Scott, Rob Cohen

  • April 29, 2010, 12:26 p.m. CST

    What happened to Joel Silver ?

    by theplant

    I let him go.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:27 p.m. CST

    "Come on, Bennett, throw away that chicken-shit gun"

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "You don't just want to pull the trigger. Put your cock in me and look me in the eye and see what's going on in there when you push your throbbing member north."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Everyone forget Bill Duke?

    by Grand Moff Toht

    And that awesome '76 Eldorado he drives up to the motel parking lot? Come on people. Who's going to play Bill Duke's part? Hollywood. If they're not making 80s toys, they're remaking 80s movies and their sequels. They should all just choke on their own bile and spare us these distractions.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:27 p.m. CST

    "Why do they call him Boy George?"

    by JGer

    Funniest convo ever in an Arnold movie between Alyssa Milano and Arn. at the beginning

  • April 29, 2010, 12:27 p.m. CST

    It's sunny here too, two hours west of you

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    But, it's windy as hell. Perfect day to fly a kite

  • April 29, 2010, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Look at it this way

    by Dragon Man

    Since remakes are all the rage as studios have enough financial incentive to keep cranking them out, there are certain remakes I'm looking forward to. The Black Hole remake sounds promising and this may not be that bad either. This David Ayer has scripted some good gritty thrillers in the past and maybe he has an idea for this that will make it good in its own right.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:28 p.m. CST

    "Ever since you had me thrown out of your unit, I've wanted to f

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "Do you know what today is Matrix?... Fuck day!"

  • April 29, 2010, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Horner's score

    by Stalkeye

    Was for the most part forgettable with the noted exception of the raid on Dan Hedaya's Fortress/compound.<p>Followed by a cheesy song "We fight for love". back then I was hoping for a sequel, but it didn't happen.First the news of a EFNY remake now this.<p>Like the song says: Fuck Hollywood.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:29 p.m. CST

    And please no former wrestlers in the lead

    by JGer

    That includes you Rock. As there are no guys Arnold's size that can lead a movie worth a shit, maybe go the route of finding some "special ops" looking dude. I dont know. Or just dont remake it.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:29 p.m. CST

    No, he says, "They should just call him Girl George."

    by BumLove

    "It would cut down the confusion of the whole thing." <p> It took me many years to figure out what he said.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:30 p.m. CST

    I don't mind them making Commando

    by Rob0729

    Commando with another lead would have been pure shit. Arnold made that movie. It was a really weak premise with Grand Canyon size plotholes. It was Arnold and his interaction with Rae Don Chong that made the movie rise above B movie action crap. <br><br> Let them remake it. I don't put it as one of favorite Schwarzenegger movies. It isn't Predator (if it wasn't Robert Rodrigez remaking it and going in a totally different direction, I would be outraged about that one. Even now I have low expectations), Terminator, Terminator 2, Total Recall, Conan the Barbarian, or True Lies. It isn't shit like Red Heat or Eraser either, but I put it in the middle of the pack of Arnold movies.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Stallone

    by theplant

    They should get Stallone to remake past Arnold films and star in them.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:31 p.m. CST

    They offered me a hundred grand

    by Faust_8

    but when I found out I could get my hands on you, I jerked off instead

  • April 29, 2010, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Nostalgia is Stupid

    by schadenfreudian

    All these remakes prove it.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:31 p.m. CST

    I've read 10 pages into Rex's script

    by BumLove

    It's pretty corny. It even suggests listening to "The Brazilian" by Genesis while reading it. It plays more like a Stallone film than an Arnie film.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:32 p.m. CST

    How do you remake the ultimate Arnold movie without... Arnold?!

    by Biggie Kaiju

    "You dun't vant to shoot me; you vant to stick da knife in me. Look me in de ayes and see vhat's going on as you teeern it."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I always bitch about modern trailers giving too much away...

    by Shut the Fuck up Donny

    ...and this trailer from almost 20 years pretty much gives away all the best parts, too. huh...

  • April 29, 2010, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Nope, we're waxing nostalgic now

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    The only difference is we're appreciating a classic, and realizing that 95 percent of all remakes, including this one, are pure crap.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Dipshits at FOX...

    by ABking

    Does Fox execs not have a fucking brain??? They could keep David Ayer but why didn't they write it for older Schwarzenegger and sexy Milano???????? Did they not see RAMBO work at the box-office and dvd?????? Or THE EXPENDABLES is coming!!! Fuck the remake!!! Scrap that idea and go after SCHWARZENEGGER & MILANO and make a 50 million budget sequel!

  • April 29, 2010, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Commandon't

    by JamesT

    That is all.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:35 p.m. CST

    "Come on Bennett, put away the pussy gun."

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    "(lips quivering)I can take you John."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Damn, short and clever.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Good job JamesT.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:37 p.m. CST

    "I eat big dicks for breakfast"

    by BumLove

    "And right now I'm very hungry!" <p> LOL, this is fun.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:38 p.m. CST

    " Mellow out man "

    by Faust_8

    We can't talk business with you waving your cock in peoples faces. This isn't The Terminator, your daughter is safe Colonel

  • April 29, 2010, 12:39 p.m. CST

    I read the instructions

    by JamesT

    Still laugh at that line.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:39 p.m. CST

    "Attention all units...emergency on the theater level"

    by Darth Busey

    Suspect, six foot two, brown hair. He's one GIGANTIC motherfucker!"

  • April 29, 2010, 12:41 p.m. CST

    I like the crash into the pole

    by silentjay

    They come to 65-mph dead stop into a telephone pole in a convertible and he asks: "Ahh yoo ahhriht?" Classic.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:41 p.m. CST

    " Let the girl go"

    by Faust_8

    It's me you want, don't deny yourself some pleasure.......that's the real line

  • April 29, 2010, 12:41 p.m. CST

    "Remember when I promised to kill you last?"

    by BumLove

    "That's right, Matrix! You did!" <p> "So wait right here for me, I'll be back in a couple days. Actually, lemme get your cell number. I'll text you when I've killed every one else, and we can meet at a Starbucks."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:42 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqUgVXDzTc8<p> COMMANDO rap... relive the movie in 5.30 mins... fun.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Or the mall cop

    by Faust_8

    " wanna see me kick some ass "

  • April 29, 2010, 12:42 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    "You fuckin whore."<p> Love Sully's inexplicable diss to Rae DaWN CHONG...

  • April 29, 2010, 12:43 p.m. CST

    *Arnold removes his clothing to reveal a banana hammock*

    by BumLove

    "Come on, Bennet. Let's party!" *Disco music comes on*

  • April 29, 2010, 12:43 p.m. CST

    "Now, the only thing between Matrix and you..."

    by Darth Busey

    "...is me."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Sully is awesome

    by Faust_8

    The Warriors...Crow..need I say more

  • April 29, 2010, 12:44 p.m. CST

    "No. Not Daddy!"

    by Darth Busey

  • April 29, 2010, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Dreamscape

    by BumLove

    You needed to say more.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:45 p.m. CST

    "JOHN...STICK YOUR HEAD OUT"

    by Darth Busey

    One shot, right between the eyes. I'll make it quick...for old times sake."

  • April 29, 2010, 12:46 p.m. CST

    DON'T DEPRIVE YOURSELF OF SOME PLEASURE

    by Darth Busey

    COME ON, BENNETT. LET'S PARTY.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Three way with Matrix, Bennet, and the Mexican guy

    by Faust_8

    Bennet wants to be the freight. Matrix is the caboose, Mexican guy the engine

  • April 29, 2010, 12:47 p.m. CST

    I just downloaded The Brazilian by Genesis

    by BumLove

    As the Commando 2 script suggested, and it actually works pretty good as the opening music to an action film. Not a bad suggestion, Mr. De Souza. It sounds a little bit like the Commando videogame music for the Commodore 64.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:48 p.m. CST

    "Let off some steam, Bennet."

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

  • April 29, 2010, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Damn Bennet was gay for Matrix

    by Faust_8

    He's pissed out for getting thrown out of John's unit because don't ask don't tell was around yet. Bennet harbors a secret love for John that turns into hatred over the years, but his true feelings never really leave. It's obvious from the script

  • April 29, 2010, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Get DAVID AYER but get ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER back!

    by ABking

    Commando is a true 80's classic. Don't remake it, sequelize it with SCHWARZENEGGER, MILANO and AYER. Keep the budget tight at 50 million and make it like RAMBO or THE EXPENDABLES!

  • April 29, 2010, 12:49 p.m. CST

    RexNebular - COMMANDO 2

    by Merrick

    Having trouble downloading the script for some reason. Would someone be kind enough to zip it to me via e-mail (link in article greeting above)? Thanks so much in advance.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:51 p.m. CST

    There was a remake done in Russia a few years ago..

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

    Here's a video comparing the two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS-KAQwyDoc

  • April 29, 2010, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Merrick i reuploaded in rapidshare.heres the link:

    by ominus

    http://tinyurl.com/34qtt32

  • April 29, 2010, 12:51 p.m. CST

    What does JOEL SILVER think???

    by ABking

    Get a JOEL SILVER comment!

  • April 29, 2010, 12:52 p.m. CST

    and here's a scene from the Russian Remake...

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

  • April 29, 2010, 12:52 p.m. CST

    and here's a scene from the Russian Remake...

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9Cx39nH93w&feature=related

  • April 29, 2010, 12:55 p.m. CST

    "You scared, mutha fucka? Well you should be..

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

    "...cause this green beret's gonna kick yo big ass!"

  • April 29, 2010, 12:56 p.m. CST

    "I eat green baret's for breakfast..."

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

    "...and now I'm <Punch!> very hungry!!!"

  • April 29, 2010, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Like I said, this will be the top talkback soon.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    it's already at number three as we're all pissed.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:58 p.m. CST

    The problem with remaking COMMANDO

    by MattmanReturns

    is they'll try to make it decent, which is missing the whole point. It'll lose all its ridiculousness and just end up a mediocre, Bourne-ish action flick starring Jason Stathom.

  • April 29, 2010, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Matrix, come out to plaaaaaaaaaay.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Yeah, Sully is now really dead. RIP. I recall also seeing him in K-PAX and some Spike Lee flick with Delroy Lindo. Oh yeah, Crooklyn. Good stuff.

  • April 29, 2010, 1 p.m. CST

    Planned camp never works.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    This was unplanned camp. Pure 80s classic stuff.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:03 p.m. CST

    right?

    by ominus

    WRONG !

  • April 29, 2010, 1:04 p.m. CST

    "We'll take Cooke's car, he won't be needing it."

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

  • April 29, 2010, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Sully was also the leader of the gang who killed Draven

    by ominus

    and his finance in the original Crow movie.damn i didnt know that he had died.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:07 p.m. CST

    If Matrix could only kill me FIRST...

    by OldManPreviews

    I mean, when the FUCK is the "brain trust" in Hollywood going to actually try to do something original?! TRUE GRIT, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, and now COMMANDO? Fuck these guys. Fuck them all in their empty "Sure it's been done before... but not by ME!" skulls.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:13 p.m. CST

    "You know when I was growing up in East Germany...

    by jarjarmessiah

    the Goverment said Rock and Roll was subversive. Maybe they were right." I love how they explain away his accent.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:14 p.m. CST

    I swear if Hollywood made a movie called The Remake

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    they would remake that the following year.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:16 p.m. CST

    That conversation of Rock and Roll being subversive...

    by BumLove

    ...after saying that he should be called Girl George....Matrix is basically saying that rock music turns people gay...LOL.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Arnie and Die Hard

    by Kurgan

    The story I heard was that they had to redo the ventilation ducts they had already built for Arnie, as they did not seem claustrophopic at all for Bruce Willis. No idea whatsoever whether this is true.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:18 p.m. CST

    DAVID PATRICK KELLY ISN'T DEAD!

    by Darth Busey

    What the fuck. Don't sprad malicious rumors like that. The dude is in JONAH HEX, even.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Hmmmm I guess "I lied."

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I could have sworn I read somewhere that Sully was dead. I guess I was wrong.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Let out some steam Darth Busey

    by Faust_8

    LOL

  • April 29, 2010, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Funny thing is I wasn't even reading Busey's post

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I was trying to do the math to see if East Germany existed when Arnold was a kid (it did). Then I pulled up the link on David Patrick Kelly, and I'm like oops.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:28 p.m. CST

    BumLove

    by AsimovLives

    All the chessiness in COMMANDO was unintentional. They were going for coll, and failed all along the way. This idea that COMMANDO was deliberatly cheessy and it's goofiness deliberate is just a retcom from the people who take it as a cult classic. It's pure retcom. Maybe too many people are simply baffled that a movie could be so goofy and cheesy without the filmmakers not noticing it, without it being deliberate. But the truth is, everything foolish and chesy inthe movie is unintentional. The filmmaker really wanted to make the ultimate action cool movie with the ultimate badass action hero. COMMANDO competes directly with RAMBO II in the action movie stakes, which has the most badass killer, which has the most killings, which has the most explosions, etc etc.<br><br>All the exagerated goofiness in COMMANDO is a direct reply to RAMBO II and an atempt to surpass it. What happesn with COMMANDO is that RAMBO II itself already was an over-the-top cartoonish action movie that featured impiossible stuff, and by trying to go evne futher, COMMNDO becames chessy through and through.<br>br>What makes the comedy in COMMANDO works so wonderfully is not that the one-liners are funy, but because they are augmentated by the whole silliness that surrounds it. In a more serious, downscaled movie, the one-liners would be unremarkable and only occasionally funny. But because the movie is so insane, so goofy, so fucked up, it boasts the one-liners comedy impact like a turbo. We laugh at the one-liners not only ebcause they might be funny, but because they function as release from out witnessing of the movie's absurdity. It's like a valve that releases some steam, to paraquote form the movie itself.<br><br>And make no mistake, the movie is bad. It's very, very, very bad. It's shit. But it's funny shit.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Fascinating bit of info about Die Hard.

    by moonlightdrive

    Plus, I didn't know there was a director's cut. Thank you!! :D Love Commando.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:30 p.m. CST

    AsimovLives, I've never seen it summed up so

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    well. You're dead on target.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Wow

    by Mel Garga

    really?

  • April 29, 2010, 1:31 p.m. CST

    So other than Arnold... who should play John Matrix?

    by dailysportspages

    Other than the obvious Dwayne Johnson of course.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Do it shot-for-shot like Psycho

    by Adelai Niska

  • April 29, 2010, 1:33 p.m. CST

    I agree with Vern about Commando.

    by moonlightdrive

    Not sure it would work today without being completely different, other than premise. Therefore, bare no relation. It is of it's time in style and content, which is it's charm. Especially viewing it now.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Long live David Patrick Kelly

    by AsimovLives

    Come out and play!<br><br>I think David Patrick Kelly plays Sully, the only character in COMMANDO who's actually brave and courageaus. Everybody else are either highly trained spec-ops military men or armed to the teeth. Kelly's character is unarmed, physically small and seems to have no military training whatsoever. and yet he still tells Matrix to go fuck himself, when he's hanged fromhis anckle by a giant like Arnold, while upside down and over a high cliff. That's balls! That guy's courage facing imminent danger and death rarely gets recognition.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:33 p.m. CST

    dailysportspages, no one.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    You should be ashamed for making that suggestion.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Grammaton Cleric Binks

    by AsimovLives

    Thank you.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Hmmm, good point although

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I think it mentioned he was in the military. Although my accuracy on things is now in question.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:37 p.m. CST

    That's like summing up Predator

    by Faust_8

    testosterone in the jungle

  • April 29, 2010, 1:38 p.m. CST

    But Predator still holds up as solid action.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Whereas we love Commando for its velveeta qualities

  • April 29, 2010, 1:39 p.m. CST

    David Patrick Kelly was in THE CROW, fuckers

    by AsimovLives

    He played the most memorable of the vialin's hencheman, T-BIRD, the guy who wanted to see everything burn and soliloquies about the Lake Erie burning from all the crap in it anmd how he wished he could has seen it. He also gets the best death in the movie too, in a blaze of glory... or at least high octane gasoline.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:41 p.m. CST

    PREADTOR is a proper movie

    by AsimovLives

    You can enjoy it by takingit seriously. Becasue the people who made it actually took it seriously and wanted to make a proper good movie.<br><br>The idiots who made COMMANDO, their only goal was to surpass RAMBO II, and they were so obsessed with that, they went blind about everything else.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Off to work guys

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    keep up the fight.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:43 p.m. CST

    HAHAHA

    by Phimseto

    This will fail on so many levels. Commando's script should be in the Smithsonian. It is a singular achievement.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:44 p.m. CST

    David Patrick Kelly ruled as Jerry Horne on TWIN PEAKS

    by SpyGuy

    Ben Horne: "We've lain a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight; all of Twin Peaks' best and brightest." <p>Jerry Horne: "We're holding it in a phone booth?"</p>

  • April 29, 2010, 1:46 p.m. CST

    My favorite COMMANDO cameo is Bill Paxton

    by AsimovLives

    Bill Paxton plays a naval radar operator. He plays his role very seriously, and yet i can't help laugh whenever i see him. Now, if you were like me, which had noticed Paxton for the first time in ALIENS back in the day, watching him in such a small cameo in COMMANDO is a really unexpected WTF moment. Like, "what's he doing here and in such a nothing role?" It came so out of left-field, that it became another funny WTF moment from the movie.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:47 p.m. CST

    For example, consider COL. KIRBY

    by Phimseto

    His only point in the film is to describe in myriad ways how badass Matrix is. Every single line of dialogue he speaks is geared toward this end.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:47 p.m. CST

    My favorite Arnold film

    by gun_will_travel

    Should not be remade, there's no way to improve on the campiness and wackiness of the original. I, too, will now be looking for a bargain on the (new?) Director's Cut.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:47 p.m. CST

    SpyGuy

    by AsimovLives

    Yeah, i loved his character in TWIN PEAKS. His first scene in the show is legendary, when he brings his big brother some delicious morsel, and the two just get all crazy loonie munching it... while the big borther was dinning. Hillarious crazy stuff. The dude stole the show.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Phimseto

    by AsimovLives

    He's Coronel Exposition.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:50 p.m. CST

    Once Matrix reaches the grounds of the mansion....

    by BumLove

    ...it's like the ending of Beverly Hills Cop on steroids....until he kills Dan Hedaya and goes after Bennett.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Fuck the remake. I'd pay to see a SULLY prequel

    by Darth Busey

    As AsimovLives points out, Sully was the real bad ass in "Commando", since he was 4 foot 9 and talking shit to Arnold the whole time while being held upside down by his leg. Also, his tragic, unrequited lust for Rae Dawn Chong happened like 10 years before "Jungle Fever", so Commando also serves as one of the first cinematic explorations of multiracial relationships.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:52 p.m. CST

    My favorite cameo: BRANSCOMBE RICHMOND

    by Darth Busey

  • April 29, 2010, 1:53 p.m. CST

    all time classic

    by frg10

    leave it be bitches!

  • April 29, 2010, 1:54 p.m. CST

    bennet re-energized by electrocution

    by turketron_2

    I remember when Arnold throws Bennet into some high voltage shit, it was like it perked him up and he came back at John witha vengeance.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:55 p.m. CST

    One of my favorite idioticies in COMMANDO...

    by AsimovLives

    ...is the self-repairing car. That car that Arnold drives and then crashes against the pole. It wreacks one side of the car. Then, when Arnold let's Sully go (hehe!), notice that the wreack is now on the other side of the car. That shit is just dumb beyond belief. That movie is filled with terrible continuity goofs like that.<br><br>And who can forget Arnold shooting cardboard cut-outs. When people say that the villain's henchmen are cardboard characters, COMMANDO took that notion LITERALLY.

  • April 29, 2010, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Here's the trailer to Sully's Story

    by BumLove

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0itC0JUdjdk

  • April 29, 2010, 1:56 p.m. CST

    turketron_2

    by AsimovLives

    And then he says "I'm feelling good, John!".<br><br>That movie is unbelievable!

  • April 29, 2010, 1:57 p.m. CST

    JOHN, I FEEL GOOD!

    by Darth Busey

    JUST LIKE OLD TIMES

  • April 29, 2010, 1:57 p.m. CST

    And Sully's Ten Steps For Seducing Women

    by BumLove

    http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=kHv04Dv5RDY&feature=fvw

  • April 29, 2010, 2 p.m. CST

    SpyGuy - RE: Jerry Horne

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    "I'll have a scotch on the rocks and my brother will have a scotch on the rocks."<P>"So, that's two scotches on the rocks..."<P>"Next stop: rocket science!"

  • April 29, 2010, 2 p.m. CST

    Re: SELF REPAIRING CAR

    by Darth Busey

    Matrix pounded out the dents with his fists off-camera. LDO.

  • April 29, 2010, 2 p.m. CST

    JON HAMM AS COMMANDO!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    JON HAMM!!!

  • April 29, 2010, 2 p.m. CST

    Really, all that animonsity from Bennett

    by AsimovLives

    ... can only mean one thing: once, Bennett and Matrix were lovers. Only a lover scorened could harbour such relentless feelings. It's Massala and Ben-Hur all over again.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:02 p.m. CST

    prequel....SULLY: SLASH HUNTER '83

    by Stuntcock Mike

    The Quest For Cunt.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Chainmail wifebeater

    by Nemesis Enforcer

    Can't stop laughing!!

  • April 29, 2010, 2:05 p.m. CST

    BENNETT SOUNDS LIKE THE KING OF THE GAYS

    by BringingSexyBack

  • April 29, 2010, 2:05 p.m. CST

    SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW, SOMBODIES GONNA TASTE BALLS.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    .

  • April 29, 2010, 2:05 p.m. CST

    BUT AT THE SAME TIME TOTALLY BAD ASS

    by BringingSexyBack

  • April 29, 2010, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Loved it at the time doesn't hold up well though

    by SID 8.0

    Great lines too. Especially the mall cop talking to the girls. "Want to see me kick some ass?" The mansion scene was lampooned perfectly in Hot Shots Part Deux. When Charlie Sheen throws a handful of bullets at the soldeirs killing them all. Don't even bother with a remake.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:06 p.m. CST

    What was the name of the bar in the mall?

    by Darth Busey

  • April 29, 2010, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Name of bar? SLASH HUNTERS.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Thursday is "slasher" night.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:17 p.m. CST

    YAY!

    by tomimt

    New family friendly version of Commando.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:17 p.m. CST

    COMMANDO was the gayest movie ever made

    by AsimovLives

    Until TOP GUN showed up.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Chainmail wifebeater!!!!!!!!

    by AsimovLives

    Nemesis Enforcer, i'm like you, i can't stop laughing too! Too funny!!!

  • April 29, 2010, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Surely only Statham can play this

    by billybigbollocks

    or Arnold. There's nobody else credible as an action hero. And Stallone is hardly gonna do it is he.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:29 p.m. CST

    You know Asimov, for a guy who rails against shit films...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...you sure do know a LOT about COMMANDO! Could it be that you (the self-appointed Master of Good Taste) actually enjoy a cheesy, piece of cinematic garbage?<P>Nah.<P>Wait.<P>Could it be?!?!

  • April 29, 2010, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Fuck that

    by YoyodynePropulsionSystems

    What is the point? The charm in Commando is the pre-famous Arnold saying things like 'Boy George? Pretty soon they'll be calling him Girl George'. That and the car they drove away after dropping Sully having a new paint job between cuts.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:35 p.m. CST

    This far in and nobody's mentioned...

    by ebonic_plague

    ...the greatness that is Matrix jumping out of a commercial jet after take-off and just splashing into a swamp like he was coming off a diving board? <p> Also, when I think of the score to this movie I always get it confused with the jungle scenes from Romancing the Stone. They should make a Vs. reboot of both those movies where Matrix has to rescue Joan Wilder from Danny Devito's south american paramilitary commander, call it Romancing the Slash.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Underrated Performance: DAN HEDAYA

    by Darth Busey

    Let's cast a Syrian Jew from Brooklyn as a Central American dictator. BRILLIANCE.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:37 p.m. CST

    This opens too many doors....

    by mrblonde1

    Next we will see remakes of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, Stone Cold and reboots of Road House and Remo Williams!

  • April 29, 2010, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Commando's a classic, but...

    by Logan-X

    ...damn if that trailer doesn't give away all the best parts! The remake idea is, in a word, lame. Arnie makes that movie and I don't know if there's anyone with equal parts badass and charisma to pull it off.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:41 p.m. CST

    SAM ELLIOTT CAN STILL PLAY WADE GARRETT

    by Darth Busey

    The motherfucker's hair hasn't aged in 20 years.

  • April 29, 2010, 2:45 p.m. CST

    They already did this with Liam neeson

    by Six Demon Bag

    It was called TAKEN

  • April 29, 2010, 2:52 p.m. CST

    I think they actually killed those Mexican guys at the end.

    by Six Demon Bag

    I at least like to think that..the director told them they had to get their paychecks from arnie.then gave armor real ammo

  • April 29, 2010, 2:59 p.m. CST

    They had to stay on budget

    by Faust_8

    serves them right for screwing with Matrix

  • April 29, 2010, 2:59 p.m. CST

    AsimovLives i have to disagree

    by ominus

    The creators of the movie knew from the start that they were making a movie full of cheesiness and they clearly acknowledge their awareness of that,in the film in one specific scene: <p>in the hotel room where Billy Duke is shooting at Arnie,then they fight and then they break into the next room with the nude couple.Then we see Raw Dawn Chong saying to herself: 'why these people didnt hear the gunshots? probably these guys eat too much red meat' <p>see there? the movie is fully aware of its silliness and makes fun of it.I am not saying that the creators were trying to make a parody of the 80s action genre but they didnt take their film as seriously as you suggest they did.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:01 p.m. CST

    South American Soldiers vs. Biker Gangs

    by ebonic_plague

    Which one is better action movie cannon fodder? I think those are the two demographics most often killed onscreen in huge numbers beside Nazis.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:01 p.m. CST

    ebonic_plague even more stupid

    by ominus

    was the fact that there was a swamp at the end of the airline inside the airport !!!

  • April 29, 2010, 3:02 p.m. CST

    They don't make 'em like they used to...

    by WONKABAR

    http://tiny.cc/m0zap

  • April 29, 2010, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Ominis

    by Faust_8

    Ok, 80'd action movies were this. Lone man runs around killing army of bad guys, explosions ensue. Rambo set the bar for this type of action movie. Arnold knew what his audience was and what they expected. Where Arnold thought he could gain an edge would be to throw in his style humor of one liners, this is my musings by the way. Commando is just that, a over the top popcorn action flick mixed in with one liners that doesn't take itself that seriously.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Re: Bennett's fabulous outfit

    by thesinofthesky

    If you look close enough, especially on the blu ray, you'll see that it's not chain mail. It's crocheted. Seriously. Leather pants and a crocheted chain mail vest = classy AND professional.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:09 p.m. CST

    remake Megaforce !!!!

    by Faust_8

    barry bostwick looks like the shit in that gold skin tight jumpsuit. Let's see the goods Barry, lay it all out.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Also...

    by thesinofthesky

    Has anyone noticed the striking similarities between the scores for 48 HRS and Commando? Steel drums, baby, steel drums.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:10 p.m. CST

    WONKABAR!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Wow...haven't seen you around here in ages!

  • April 29, 2010, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by AsimovLives

    No, i just find the stupidity and incompetence of COMMANDO hillarious. I laught AT the movie.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Mercinaries have ample spare time

    by Faust_8

    to commit to hobbies such as crocheting. I mean, you can't topple governments ALL of the time

  • April 29, 2010, 3:11 p.m. CST

    thesinofthesky

    by AsimovLives

    So, James Horner was already self-plagiating even back then?

  • April 29, 2010, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Bennett wears crochette?

    by AsimovLives

    He's even gayer then i though! Fucking hell!!

  • April 29, 2010, 3:13 p.m. CST

    "You Fuckin Whore"

    by bobbyperusteeth

    This has to be the greatest line ever uttered in front of a camera...

  • April 29, 2010, 3:16 p.m. CST

    You fucking Whore

    by Faust_8

    and that upsets Rae Dong also, rather than I'm glad this creep has finally left me alone. he calls her a whore and she get's upset, because maybe she really IS a whore. Hooker, NOT BAD !!

  • April 29, 2010, 3:16 p.m. CST

    FAUST_8

    by thesinofthesky

    ROFLMAO. Asimov- I'm watching Commando right now. It seems that he alternates his vests between crochet and actual chain mail. Chain mail for business, crochet for pleasure? And why has no one mentioned the Schwarzenmullet?

  • April 29, 2010, 3:16 p.m. CST

    by ludmir88

  • April 29, 2010, 3:17 p.m. CST

    you better watch this ...

    by ludmir88

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skBlEbsM0jM ... oh arnold you are the man :)

  • April 29, 2010, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Horners use of steel drums was visionary

    by Six Demon Bag

    He used them here and in 48 hours.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Who can fill Schwarzeneggar's shoes?

    by thedarklinglord

    Seriously. Arnold made so many roles that it's impossible to imagine anyone - at least, anyone who isn't a massive mountain of muscle - filling those same roles in a remake/reboot. Conan is a perfect example. Unless they go with another equally huge bodybuilding/wrestler for the role, it's going to come across as a pale shadow and a horrid failure next to Arnold. Commando is another one of those roles. (Which is precisely why so many people balked at the idea of Adrien Brody and Topher Grace is a fucking Predator movie. I mean, seriously? Even if those dudes worked out like mad, they can't possibly compete with the likes of Schwarzeneggar, Weathers, Ventura, and Landham.) <br> <br> On the other hand, rebooting something like Running Man would be a vastly improved idea, because Schwarzeneggar's size wasn't quite as pivotal, and you could just as easily having the same character using cunning and trickery as opposed to sheer muscle. You could put someone like Edward Norton - preferably the more built American History X version - or Eric Bana or any less hulking guy in Running Man and it wouldn't feel totally wrong. Plus, Running Man wasn't all that great and didn't have nearly as many iconic images as something like Commando - where the opening sequence of Arnold carrying that huge tree trunk on his bulging bicep simply can't be duplicated by some scrawny everyman.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:19 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by WONKABAR

    ...it's been awhile! Shit, I didn't even get to discuss the BSG finale... it's been THAT long!

  • April 29, 2010, 3:21 p.m. CST

    ominus

    by AsimovLives

    What, a simgle snide remark and makes you believe that the filmmakers of COMMANDO were post-modrnist genious? Jezz, i have seen such type of self-referential injokes in movies mad ein the 40s, for christ's sake! No, it's not proof that the filmmakers of COMMANDO were deliberatly making a chessy mvoie, it's just putting some situational humour into a ituation of action, as they are normally called, humour through releif. Otherwise, the scne ewould be about two big guys beating the shit out of each other, aka, humourless.<br><br>No, the people who made COMMANDO were not trying to be cheesy deliberatly. Arnold was not shooting one-liners to be deliberatly cheesy. They made that movie trying to make the coolest action movie ever. They were trying to out-cool RAMBO II, in their eyes and understandign of what an action movie should be like.<br><br>All this "deliberate chessiness" is just retconning today's views to back then. and it doesn't at all reflects the true spirit in which the movie was made. Simply said, COMMANDO is a movie made by incompetnet filmmakers who tried to go cool and failed miserably. And their failure birthed one of the greatest involuntary comedy ever made in the history of american cinema.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Bennet uses it as a fashion statement

    by Faust_8

    When around the piss head soilders, he has a softer approach, like wearing crochet. This way when he walks by the piss head soilders can get in a nice grope. When outside in the hot central american sun, he opts for the chain mail, to impress others with his cum dripping mustache and he tries to ass rape them.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Commando is not made by idiots!

    by BrynnerBot

    @whoever said Commando is a dumb movie made by dumb people who lucked into cheeseball moments for laughs. Commando is directed by Mark L. Lester who is one of THE BEST B-grade directors around. If he lucked into Commando, then I guess he also just happened to luck into Class of 1984, Showdown in Little Tokyo, Class of 1999. Actually Commando isn't even as good as any of those, but Lester is a master of orchestrating action scenes to bring them to the most ridiculous crescendo of over-the-topness, usually complete with a perfectly timed pun that is pure, intentional comic gold.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Re: David Patrick Kelly

    by Stalkeye

    I remember seeing him train Seido Karate at the same Dojo where my friend (at the time) used to go.For a short fucker,he looks like he can definately handle himself.He had a few good roles as the no good sonofabitch (call it typecasting?) from warriors,Dreamscape, Commando,48 Hours and perhaps lastly The Crow.Good actor, no doubt he deserves more roles.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:22 p.m. CST

    thedarklinglord

    by AsimovLives

    Why should anybody fill Schwarzeneggar's shoes? Schwarzeneggar is Schwarzeneggar. It's what made him Schwarzeneggar. that's what any action star today should try to do too, be their own man... or woman.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:23 p.m. CST

    LMAO Asi, stop it now!

    by Stalkeye

  • April 29, 2010, 3:24 p.m. CST

    CHRIS EVANS AS CUMMANDO

    by BringingSexyBack

    Hurt me.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:25 p.m. CST

    Commando was made by closeted homosexuals

    by Faust_8

    just look at it

  • April 29, 2010, 3:25 p.m. CST

    BrynnerBot

    by AsimovLives

    Wow, Mark L. Lester carrer is so fucking impressive!! Somebody give that fucker an oscar already! Fucking genious, that guy! Orson Welles aint shit on him! I bet Mark L. Lester taught John Carpenter everything he knew, hem?<br><br>Give me a break!

  • April 29, 2010, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Mark L. Lester is the kind of guy that today we call...

    by AsimovLives

    ... a fucking hack!

  • April 29, 2010, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Merrick

    by Vern

    Well, my point is that they were trying to make Nothing Lasts Forever into a movie long before COMMANDO existed. I suppose it's possible that at one point they considered rewriting it as COMMANDO 2.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Here's some trivia...

    by thesinofthesky

    What do Commando, Predator, Die Hard 2, and the 1980s television show Super Carrier have in common? Two words, decades of conflict: Val Verde.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Pointless but.....

    by strawff

    ...as a side note, not too long ago me, my wife and some friends rolled in after a night out and threw in Commando. This time, however, we decided to watch it in 1.5 fast forward and were crying with laughter. So get drunk and give it a try....

  • April 29, 2010, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Lexington Steel as Cummando

    by Faust_8

    .

  • April 29, 2010, 3:33 p.m. CST

    WONKABAR

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Damn! It has been awhile, indeed. And that finale already feels like it aired years ago.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:34 p.m. CST

    In 3D no doubt..

    by Axl Z

    Seriously, who on earth could fill Arnolds boots for this. Depressing news..

  • April 29, 2010, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Asimov

    by BrynnerBot

    Well shit if you're going to start comparing everyone to Orson Welles I'll just pack up and go home, pop Touch of Evil into my DVD player and sit on my thumb for the rest of my life. I'm just saying Lester is a good director who knew what he was doing. And he made what are, in my opinion, some of the most entertaining sci-fi action flicks of the day. So anyway, fuck this remake. Now I'm gonna have to go let off some steam.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:35 p.m. CST

    RE: "I laught AT the movie."

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    No shit! Whatever it takes for you to admit to enjoying it, AsimovLives. Whatever. It. Takes.

  • April 29, 2010, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Michael Cera IS John Matrix

    by NippleEffect

    a lesbian trucker commando

  • April 29, 2010, 3:40 p.m. CST

    No doubt MNG.

    by WONKABAR

    It's so funny, I just read that Pajiba review yesterday, and now this. Exactly why they shouldn't remake this film. Anyway Gaius, good to see you man, I'm gonna try to hit up here & teh zone more often. Shit, and XBL- haven't been on there for a couple yarins

  • April 29, 2010, 3:46 p.m. CST

    John Matrix's infinate playlist

    by Faust_8

    with lesbians and big rigs. Awesome, tell 'em large marge sent you.

  • April 29, 2010, 4:02 p.m. CST

    BrynnerBot

    by AsimovLives

    No, Mark L. Lester was not a good director, he was an hack who occasionally landed on a good enough script even he couldn't fuck up.<br><br>When you are talking about Mark L. Lester, you are not mistaking him for Richard Lester, are you? That's the guy that actually had some filmic competence and occasionally made some pretty good movies, like A HARD'S DAY NIGHT and ROBIN AND MARIAN.

  • April 29, 2010, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by AsimovLives

    Enjoying by mockery. Not exactly the same as enjoying with it, is it? There's a world of difference there. And i don't mistake a movie might enjoy by mockery as good.

  • April 29, 2010, 4:10 p.m. CST

    AsimovLives i disagree

    by ominus

    <p>inserting humour during an action sequence is like in TDK, in the chase sequence when the kids are shooting the cars,when that guy is tooth-picking at his car's mirror and so on.<br /><p>But in Commando that scene works differently because its acknowledged its own error of reality: the couple should have listened to the gunshots but they didnt.and the movie then continues to make laugh of it.<br /><p>and now i remembered another scene of the film's self-awareness: when Arnie and Duke are exchanging their macho lines,again Rae Dawn Chong makes a comment: I can't believe this macho bullshit... <br /><p>again the movie makes fun of the ridiculousness of the scene.in fact i dont believe that the role of Chong's in the film was just for comedic relief but it had another function: She was representing the audience of the film inside the film itself.throughout the film she was understanding the absurdity of the events she was witnessing,and like us the movie viewers,she was commenting on the silliness of each situation.<br /><p>i am not trying to give more content to the film that it deserves,after all its just innocent dumb fun,i am just saying that the film's creators were not completely ignorant of what they actually were doing.

  • April 29, 2010, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Oh goody Assimov is here!

    by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE

    Let's turn Commando into a Star Trek JJ Fagrams talkback! I just watched Star Trek again btw. I noted all the things that people nit-pick about the film, but in the end your criticisms are invalid. Like people criticize the story and clunky, too convenient plot points. Well actually the weird coincidences are part of the theme of Star Trek. For example Spock talks about Destiny right before he launches Kirk onto that ice planet. There are other forces at play in the universe guiding Kirk to meet the older Spock at that point. It was God, not bad writing. Plus, lens flares are fucking awesome I love shiny sparkly things. If I was a fish this would be the best movie ever.

  • April 29, 2010, 4:18 p.m. CST

    "Mr. Bennett left, shall we say, under a cloud"

    by BumLove

    Because he kept raping dudes. <p> "Your training...Matrix."

  • April 29, 2010, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Remember...

    by SunTzu77

    Remember Sully when I promised they'd remake this film, last? I lied!

  • April 29, 2010, 4:46 p.m. CST

    You CANNOT remake this...

    by Turd_Has_Risen_From_The_Grave

    Commando was great because of such an absurd comination of elements, and so much so that it simply can't be duplicated. I can understand, if not approve of, pale facimile remakes of classic films, but this kind of delightful cheese can't exist outside itself.

  • April 29, 2010, 4:58 p.m. CST

    I think i already mentioned this

    by barnaby jones

    In the Freddy talk back. Or should i say warned.

  • April 29, 2010, 5:09 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    SWINGERS: SULLY SEX MACHINE<p> The spin-off movie following skinny Sully and fatty Favreau as they attempt to pick up chicks in Las Vegas.<p> Gasp, as Favreau cries again and again.<p> Laugh, as Sully pulls out his "You fuckin whore" catchphrase again and again.<p> Will this 'odd couple' ever get laid? You betya, cos Bennet is waiting in the wings with his chainmail vest on... someone's gonna squeal like a piggy tonight!

  • April 29, 2010, 5:10 p.m. CST

    by beedlesaboot

    No no no no.

  • April 29, 2010, 5:20 p.m. CST

    by beedlesaboot

    Fat poof in leather trousers!!!! Running like there has been a fire alarm in The Blue Oyster Club! Could Bennett been any crapper?! I would like to draw your attention to his knitted 'chain mail' top!!!

  • April 29, 2010, 5:26 p.m. CST

    "I am airsick"

    by Amfpsych

    Yep I love commando

  • April 29, 2010, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Hey Tacom

    by paradigm26

    Do you really think that saying "First!" gives you some sort of high mark? Are you 12 years old, seriously? The only thing it tells others is that you've got too much time on your hands. So sad.

  • April 29, 2010, 5:49 p.m. CST

    Too many great moment.

    by henrydalton

  • April 29, 2010, 5:49 p.m. CST

    Too many great moment.s

    by henrydalton

  • April 29, 2010, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Too many great moments...

    by henrydalton

    Most of which have already been mentioned. But I still love that Matrix has a watch which BEEPS. EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND.

  • April 29, 2010, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Oh, and the opening sequence...

    by henrydalton

    With the danger music as the shadowy figure is approaching, turning to the 'LA LA LAAA!!!' sap as he turns and hugs his daughter, leading to him FEEDING A DEER A FUCKING ICE CREAM, all capped off by the DANGER music coming back in as he hooks a fish!! How dangerous is that fucking fish?!!

  • April 29, 2010, 5:54 p.m. CST

    I feel bad for the guy who has to step into Arnie's shoes

    by MobileAccess

    Good luck with all that!

  • April 29, 2010, 6:01 p.m. CST

    As a guy the same age as Alyssa Milano, I may say that

    by CreasyBear

    while watching that movie, I fell in love. (Who's the Boss had too much shit on the screen to really notice her.)

  • April 29, 2010, 6:13 p.m. CST

    lol. What is the fucking point?

    by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE

    Without Arnie? Is this the point in time where the remake trend becomes comical and self destructive? Will the trend hopefully spiral downward and self destruct? Yes. Please remake Commando. Then when you are done look back and see how misguided and foolish you all are for not coming up with an ORIGNINAL military action movie. Lol Commando is this a joke?

  • April 29, 2010, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Check out this Commando dub

    by BumLove

    It's not too bad. <p> http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=_xSfOr52DEg&feature=related

  • April 29, 2010, 6:32 p.m. CST

    YOU DON'T NEED THE REMAKE, JOHN!!

    by spud mcspud

    Why the fuck would you bother? COMMANDO is cheesy 80s perfection. The ROAD HOUSE comparison is totally justified. Neither can be remade. And if David Ayers is involved, it'll basically be TRAINING DAY with a badass gay biker villain. VERNON WELLS GOTTA EAT!!!

  • April 29, 2010, 6:33 p.m. CST

    Vernon Wells' next best performance??

    by spud mcspud

    WEIRD SCIENCE. Kelly LeBrock... teh fucking hotness in that movie. Seagal, you let that go, you big bald twat.

  • April 29, 2010, 6:44 p.m. CST

    "Someone's killing your men"

    by Porrohman

    "i thought you gave them new identities" replies Arnie with all the concern of someone who's just been told they have spinach in their teeth! Classic.

  • April 29, 2010, 7:52 p.m. CST

    Remake Commando? FAIL

    by CaptainBass

    AsimovLives? CUNT

  • April 29, 2010, 8:04 p.m. CST

    I think they should do a sequel

    by SilentP

    Where it turns out Sully survived the fall, and after spending years in a coma or something, is out to get revenge on Arnold.

  • April 29, 2010, 8:23 p.m. CST

    SilentP....I like that idea

    by BumLove

  • April 29, 2010, 8:37 p.m. CST

    The only fuckin' version of COMMANDO that matters:

    by caruso_stalker217

    http://tinyurl.com/2e7nzr5

  • April 29, 2010, 8:41 p.m. CST

    I picture Sully

    by SilentP

    paralyzed, in a wheelchair, just orchestrating everything from the background. <br><br> And at the end of the movie Arnold rolls him off a cliff.

  • April 29, 2010, 8:43 p.m. CST

    Most Hilarious Opening Credit Sequence Ever.

    by BigTuna

    With Ahnold doing manly things and showing off his muscles, then his daughter appears and he's feeding a deer with her and she shoves her ice cream cone in his face and he laughs. Unintentionally fucking hilarious.

  • April 29, 2010, 8:45 p.m. CST

    Then Arnie would make good on his promise of killing him last

    by BumLove

    I love it.

  • April 29, 2010, 8:45 p.m. CST

    Exactly!

    by SilentP

  • April 29, 2010, 9:06 p.m. CST

    Actually

    by TedKordLives

    That's fucking genius, fellas. I'd pay eight bucks to see that.<P> "Hey Sully, remember when I promised to kill you last? Well, I thought I had lied but it turned out to be da troot."

  • April 29, 2010, 9:43 p.m. CST

    "So we're gonna remake Commando, and you're gonna go along with

    by Ben_Richards_Bomb_Collar

    WRONG. *BANG*

  • April 29, 2010, 9:54 p.m. CST

    Commando is why I hated Man on Fire

    by Phimseto

    3/4 of Man on Fire was schmaltzy tripe which Commando managed to cover in its opening credits. The 1/4 of Man on Fire that was good was the entirety of Commando post-credits.

  • April 29, 2010, 10:18 p.m. CST

    How my sequel idea would end:

    by SilentP

  • April 29, 2010, 10:22 p.m. CST

    How my sequel idea would end:

    by SilentP

    Arnold, his love interest (or daughter, w/e) and Sully are standing at the edge of a cliff. <br> All of Sully's guys have been taken out, and Sully's all alone. <br> Sully: Hey, come on! You wouldn't kill a guy in a wheelchair, would you?! <br> Arnold thinks about it. <br> Arnold: No. <br> Sully sighs in relief. Then Arnold kicks him in the chest and sends him rolling off the cliff, screaming. <br> Love Interest: But you just said-- <br> Arnold: I lied.

  • April 29, 2010, 11:11 p.m. CST

    What I posted about this in the Zone...

    by Nachokoolaid

    After finding out about the remake: <p>Fans to Fox: Fuck you asshole. <p> Fox to Fans: Fuck YOU, asshole!!!

  • April 29, 2010, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Just because you're creatively bankrupt...

    by DrGoodspeed

    Doesn't mean that you need to sully the name of an AMAZING action movie from the 80's. AT LEAST CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE! FFS.

  • April 30, 2010, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Well I'm back from work and damn I called it

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Top talkback. Fuck you Fox.

  • April 30, 2010, 12:53 a.m. CST

    Hey, Commando. Remember when I said I would remake you last?

    by FezzikTheGiant

    I lied.

  • April 30, 2010, 1:18 a.m. CST

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    by Sgtcrispytoast

  • April 30, 2010, 1:50 a.m. CST

    Has the best "falling to death" noise ever...

    by shaneo632

    "I lied. "W-W-W-W-WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

  • April 30, 2010, 1:53 a.m. CST

    Hm. Great director. But a remake of COMMANDO?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    STREET KINGS was pretty good stuff.<p>What am I?

  • April 30, 2010, 1:58 a.m. CST

    So Arnie could have been in Diehard?

    by chien_sale

    He would have reached God status with this. Instead he went to star in Last Action Hero. lol

  • April 30, 2010, 1:59 a.m. CST

    The music in Commando is the same as in 48Hours

    by chien_sale

    fact

  • April 30, 2010, 2:08 a.m. CST

    Have David Ayer to write and direct Punisher

    by chien_sale

    Actually a Punisher Trilogy. And at the end of the movie, Frank Castle commits suicide. It's time for Marvel to hire quality people even for the b characters. Fox hire Ayer for a progect that's essentialy the same story as Punisher. Yet they take good care of it and hire someone of quality. Why doesn't Marvel do the same. It's revenge story too and I don't see Fox spending a 100 million for Commando. So they're not aiming for a blockbuster. Similar as Punisher. Yet they get someone good so that he can elevate the material. Marvel never thought of that because they did not respect this character as it should. They saw him as trashy entertainment and that's what they got: mediocrity. Hire Ayer for a Punisher Trilogy. And after seeing Redbelt, hire David Mamet to at least write a realistic Daredevil Trilogy. Street Fighting + Film Noir.

  • April 30, 2010, 3:08 a.m. CST

    Hmmmm..BGM of Commando & 48Hrs

    by Stalkeye

    So I Guess James Horner was Plagurizing himself after all.Well dispite the fact that Horner used more synth in commando, but yeah both were saturated with steel drums and sax.

  • April 30, 2010, 3:09 a.m. CST

    The music in Bevely Hills Cop 2 sounds like EFNY

    by Stalkeye

    Now THAT's a muthafucking fact.

  • April 30, 2010, 3:40 a.m. CST

    by coburn

  • April 30, 2010, 4:39 a.m. CST

    "Well, I thought I had lied but it turned out to be da troot."

    by henrydalton

    You've got my vote right there.

  • April 30, 2010, 4:54 a.m. CST

    im going commando....

    by theDannerDaliel

  • April 30, 2010, 5:31 a.m. CST

    "I'm airsick...."

    by The_Crimson_King

    most underrated line from the original

  • April 30, 2010, 5:39 a.m. CST

    I like it, SilentP....

    by BumLove

    OR...after he pushes Sully's wheelchair off the cliff, he begins to walk towards a trail leading to the bottom of the cliff. His daughter/love interest asks, "Where are you going?" to which he responds, "I want to make sure he's dead this time." <p> At the bottom of the cliff, Arnie examines Sully's bloodied pulp of a body and says, "If it's any consolation, Sully, I never lied."

  • April 30, 2010, 6:06 a.m. CST

    Too bad Goldsman isn't "writing" this one, or we could get dialo

    by Stalin vs Predator

    "Vy dey call me Commando? Because I COME AND DO you in, now, ja!"

  • April 30, 2010, 6:42 a.m. CST

    And then the music from the end of the first Commando starts....

    by BumLove

    ...and Matrix has his grown daughter, Alyssa Milano in one arm, and a love interest in the other....and he starts making out with both of them. Then General Kirby looks at the camera with and gives the audience a "what the fuck" look...and then looks back at the three of them looking sexually aroused.

  • April 30, 2010, 6:55 a.m. CST

    PLEEZ DUR NAHT DEESTUARHB MAH FREND

    by Fineus Fog

    HEEZ DED TIARHD

  • April 30, 2010, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Every saturday after noon in 87 - 88

    by Fineus Fog

    I watched crank the VHS up to watch this film - DO NOT FUCK IT UP

  • April 30, 2010, 7:20 a.m. CST

    "Please Masturbate My Friend"

    by BumLove

    "His dick's hard."

  • April 30, 2010, 7:36 a.m. CST

    the soundtrack is awesome

    by Waka_Flocka

    sax and steel drums is the greatest sound ever..pred 2, another 48 hours etc great sound.

  • April 30, 2010, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Arnie is about to unleash

    by Cockofgod

    his Cock, though given the roids most likely a little dick

  • April 30, 2010, 8:17 a.m. CST

    "Here come the saaaandwicheees!"

    by Ellipsian

    "What's in this?"<br /> <br /> "You don't wanna know."<br/> <br /> "Commando" quotes are rad.

  • April 30, 2010, 8:26 a.m. CST

    The sandwiches contained marshmallows and menstrual blood

    by BumLove

  • April 30, 2010, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Im usually okay with remakes

    by xcornealiousx

    but this...this I can't get behind. Commando was the first R rated movie I ever saw. Blew my mind. Arnold became a God to me after watching this movie. Its...everything, the over the top action as he and Stallone were trying to out do each other, the lines, the music. All of it. I can only pray that Matrix finds his way into the offices of Fox and helps them let off some steam.

  • April 30, 2010, 10:28 a.m. CST

    "Put the knife away.....and shut your mouth"

    by savagedave

    Vernon Wells was the king of gay villains. Not only was he the leather trousered Bennett, but also Wes, the assless-chaps wearing nutjob from THE ROAD WARRIOR.

  • April 30, 2010, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Hey ladies, wanna watch me kick some ass?

    by xcornealiousx

    Thats one gigantic MOTHER-FUCKER! haha..sorry, I couldn't resist one quote.

  • April 30, 2010, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Mark L Lester also wrote a 3 part essay...

    by savagedave

    explaining why Commando is the GREATEST FILM EVER. You all owe it to yourselves to read it.

  • April 30, 2010, 10:53 a.m. CST

    GAYMMANDO!

    by AsimovLives

  • April 30, 2010, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Whoever says the filmmakers had no clue

    by theplant

    You are one ugly piece of internet trash trying to retcon this movie -- there's the character of Rae Dawn Chong you IDIOT she is the one that help us understand the filmmakers were AWARE. YOU ARE ONE UGLY PIECE OF SHIT THAT NEEDS TO BE "LET GO" FOR WRITING SUCH CRAP. LET OF SOME STEAM.

  • April 30, 2010, 10:57 a.m. CST

    PS FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

    by theplant

  • April 30, 2010, 11:14 a.m. CST

    I'll see this, but only as long as...

    by Denty420

    ... the Matrix character rips a long balloon in half and swings all the way to the top of a descending lift.

  • April 30, 2010, 11:39 a.m. CST

    No, Plant it's "Fuck YOU asshole".

    by Stalkeye

    No offense given, but i had to respond via the movie's dialog when Matrix fought Bill Duke's character.

  • April 30, 2010, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Oh let us not forget (@Savagedave)

    by Stalkeye

    That Vernon played a homosexual rapist in the Movie, Fortress.I think after those three roles, he's kinda suspect. he would have been perfect for a Biopic of Queen.

  • April 30, 2010, 11:45 a.m. CST

    You may be able to remake Commando

    by HardSteel

    but you cannot remake Bennett!!

  • April 30, 2010, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Vernon was also in

    by Denty420

    ... Green Street 2. The film was a pile of shit and ol' Vern didn't have much of a part, but he made the best of it and damn if it wasn't good to see him onscreen again.

  • April 30, 2010, 12:52 p.m. CST

    That trailer is like a "greatest hits" from the movie

    by D.Vader

    In other words, its AWESOME.

  • April 30, 2010, 1:13 p.m. CST

    theplant

    by AsimovLives

    They invented a word to describe the type of notion you are trying to put upon COMMANDO, a notion from today that disdn't existed when the movie was made_ RETCON. All that notion that the movie was made cheesy on porpose is just a whole lot of retcon. Keep deluding yourself about that, if it makes you sleep better at night. Next, you are going to tell me that all the gay i9magery and mood of the movie was also INTENTIONAL WAS WELL. Well, if the cheesiness was intentional, so was all the gay stuff too then, by you logic.

  • April 30, 2010, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Stalkeye

    by AsimovLives

    Vernon also played a murderous gay henchman in THE ROAD WARRIOR. And in that movie, they didn't disguised the fact the character was gay.<br><br>And don't forget about INNERSPACE, where he also sported a gaytache.

  • April 30, 2010, 1:16 p.m. CST

    COMAMNDO: RETCONNED CHEESE

    by AsimovLives

  • April 30, 2010, 1:17 p.m. CST

    COMMANDO, when the cool of yesterday...

    by AsimovLives

    ... became the cheese of today.

  • April 30, 2010, 1:36 p.m. CST

    BumLove

    by SilentP

    rofl <br> oh, oh, I got another one! <br>Sully: I thought you said you lied about killing me last! <br> Arnold: I lied.

  • April 30, 2010, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Fuck you...

    by Double M

    Aas-hole

  • April 30, 2010, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Somewhere,somehow,someone

    by ominus

    is fucking my childhood one more time.

  • April 30, 2010, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Yes Asi, I'm aware of Vern's role in Road Warrior

    by Stalkeye

    What's hysterical is when his bitch got whacked with that ferral kid's bladerang, he fucking lost it.Afterwards, Humongous consolded him.<p>Yep, Vern's a Pipe Stroking Pole Smoker.But yes, I agree that Commando was unitentionally funny especially when matrix told bennet to put a knife in him, you can see the gayness reaction all over bennet's face being the sadomasochic guy he was. i think they removed that part from the director's cut and that's a damn shame.<p>Vern should have won the GLAAD awards for best villian.LMMFAO

  • April 30, 2010, 3:24 p.m. CST

    ominus

    by AsimovLives

    Your childhood has been raped so many times, it's becoming a career.

  • April 30, 2010, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Stalkeye

    by AsimovLives

    You know, in some ways, it's great that Vern was so gay and played so many villain roles whee it was so obvious his gayness. not because i equate gayness with villanry, no, not at all, but at least it gave his vilalisn some, well, colour. And damn funny too. That dude was great.

  • April 30, 2010, 5:03 p.m. CST

    asimov the worst part is that

    by ominus

    i am starting to enjoy it !!

  • April 30, 2010, 9:27 p.m. CST

    other cool bits...

    by james_cameron_raped_my_childhood

    -the security guard trying to be badass in the shopping mall. -the cardboard stand-ins blown sideways by the huge explosion. <p> I first saw Commando with my dad & brother on video. we all loved every fuckin minute. Arnie firing an M-16 one handed - As a kid I thought that was so awesome. <p> wht argue about the artistic merits?

  • April 30, 2010, 11:13 p.m. CST

    "Stick around!"

    by Thanos0145

    Another pointless remake by Hollywood.

  • April 30, 2010, 11:31 p.m. CST

    "Stick around" is from Predator

    by BumLove

  • April 30, 2010, 11:37 p.m. CST

    SilentP

    by BumLove

    Then Sully can say: "Are you lying now about lying about lying about killing me last? Because that would mean you told the truth, in which case you can't kill me now since I'm the last man. It cancels itself out. Because you seem to be a compulsive liar, so really anything you say at this point is suspect, because one lie after another...." <p> And in the middle of all this, Arnie gently nudges his wheelchair with his foot, sending him slowly over the edge. Sully doesn't scream, and there is suddenly silence after he falls, followed by the crash of him and his wheelchair seconds later. Arnie and his daughter/love interest laugh.

  • May 1, 2010, 1:55 a.m. CST

    Actually it's FOX YOU ASSHOLE...

    by theplant

    Someone gonna pay

  • May 1, 2010, 10:27 a.m. CST

    There should also be a scene in the sequel....

    by BumLove

    ...where Arnie kills a guy by impaling him with a pipe directly into his ass. Then he bends down to the body and says, "Fuck you, asshole," speaking directly to the guy's asshole. Then he looks at the guy's face and says, "And fuck you, too....asshole."

  • May 1, 2010, 10:30 a.m. CST

    And there should be a scene where....

    by BumLove

    ...while walking away from a guy Arnie and his sidekick/love interest just interrogated, the guy yells, "Suck my dick!" to which Arnie replies, "Maybe later." Then when they're in the car together, the sidekick/love interest asks, "Maybe later?" to which he replies, "Hey, they can't all be gems."

  • May 1, 2010, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Weird Science...

    by Dead_Kate_Moss

    My girlfriend was on the soundtrack. She wasn't in Oingo Boingo, no.

  • May 1, 2010, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Merrick was right...

    by TromaFreak64

    Merrick was right. The script for Die Hard has a complicated history from a sequel to a book that was already made into a movie, to previously existing as Commando 2. See the link. http://legendsrevealed.com/entertainment/2009/06/05/movie-legends-revealed-8/

  • May 1, 2010, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Oh and she's also seen Anthony Michael Hall's cock

    by Dead_Kate_Moss

    Massive.

  • May 1, 2010, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Remember when I said I was going to see this movie? I lied!

    by MrMysteryGuest

  • May 1, 2010, 5:29 p.m. CST

    Have Alyssa Milano play

    by MrMysteryGuest

  • May 1, 2010, 5:30 p.m. CST

    Have Alyssa Milano play Rae Dawn Chong's sidekick part!

    by MrMysteryGuest

  • May 1, 2010, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Damn my pinky hitting the Enter key instead of the Shift key!

    by MrMysteryGuest

  • May 2, 2010, 1:01 p.m. CST

    This has "...starring WWE wrestler (insert name here) written al

    by realpayton34

    Seriously, this is going to end up being one of those DTV movies co-financed by, and starring somebody from the WWE. And nobody "high class" like Triple H either, it'll be some lower-tier douche like The Miz or something.

  • May 2, 2010, 1:56 p.m. CST

    More Commando Plot Holes...

    by Dead_Kate_Moss

    1.So the bad guys take out Matrix's buddies at the start of the film. By pretending to be garbagemen (on the wrong day, waking him up), so that he runs out of the house with the trash. Lucky he didn't sleep through it or think 'ah screw it' or send his wife out... <p> 2. Likewise they take out a car salesman, by stealing the car and runing him over. Lucky he didn't run anywhere but in front of the car... <p> 3. The military realise that Matrix is in danger - so they leave, wait for it - 2 soldiers to protect him, rather than say moving him to a safer location. <p> 4. The plan is to kidnap Matrix's daughter to make him do a hit. Leaving aside that there must have been countless more ways of achieving an assasination than attempting to recruit John Matrix via the kidnap of his daughter, is she home-schooled? Or would it have been wiser to kidnap her when Matrix wasn't around? <p> 5. Again, they want to recruit Matix... so why do they keep trying to shoot him in the opening sequence? <p> 6. Rae Dawn Cheung is, what a stewardess? But she can also fly sea-planes... <p> 7. A sea-plane they learn the existence of because there is a phto of one lying around for some reason, and that, er, proves something about where his daughter is. <p> 8. What kinda weapon store does Matrix break into and steal stuff from? One that stocks rocket-launchers and remote control bomb detonators? <p> 9. Going shirtless for no reason sure seems to be a priority with Matrix... <p> 10 Shrubbery seems to provide excellent protection from machine-gun bullets... <p> 11. Did the ammo store also sell magic markers or does he always carry on for camouflage (while going topless?)

  • May 3, 2010, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Dead Kate Moss

    by theplant

    You obviously have NO FUCKING CLUE of what makes an 80's great

  • May 3, 2010, 3:24 p.m. CST

    theplant

    by Dead_Kate_Moss

    I forgot to mention I fucking love Commando.