Cool News
Does Ms Paltrow get slugged in the face in IRON MAN 2?
Hey folks, Harry here having just gotten home from a very eventful trip to LA to find AICN at the forefront of THE ONION. The hard news organization reported on a story that frankly we had to remove, that reported upon the rumor that Ms Paltrow comes to harm in IRON MAN 2. Honestly, this story was just an unspecific rumor and after I dug a bit, I decided it wasn't the kind of story I wanted to have on the site. Glorifying violence against Gwenyth's lovely and curious face... as much fun as it is - I just had to take it down after Jon Favreau personally called me crying about it. I was so concerned about Jon - that I told him, I'd pull the story if he showed me IRON MAN 2 today. And I did see IRON MAN 2 today.
Unfortunately - in order that I see the film, I had to essentially swear not to review the film till the London World premiere... But I hear that due to the constant belching of an Icelandic Volcano, those plans are gone... but still, my review must wait for next Monday. I begged everyone involved to just let me comment on the sheer horror unleashed upon Ms Paltrow in a few scenes - but Jon insists that we keep it all spoiler free for now. I get that. I do. But I will say this - Ms Paltrow has her share of trauma - so be happy, IRON MAN 2 delivers on that front... perhaps not quite to the extent that the most sadistic voyeurs out there would like - most of the meat remains upon her bones, but ya know - Paltrow nails Pepper Potts. For that she deserves to stick around, which I won't confirm as being the case at the end or not. You'll see soon enough.
Here's the ONIONS awesome story about the missing AICN story...
'Iron Man 2' Buzz Heats Up Over Rumors Gwenyth Paltrow Gets Punched In Face
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Apr 20, 2010 1:47:37 AM CDT
I hope Iron Man 2 is just as boring as the first one
by trannyformers_apologist
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the two sites I visit first every morning have overlapped! awesome!
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i found everything in this article lol-worthy.
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...the opportunity to have a Mickey Rourke Slurpee cup on my Why I Thank God For Iron Man 2 list.
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SMACK! That's for Sliding Doors.
BAMMO! That's for not breaking up Coldplay. -
Also, the movie looks terrible.
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All films should end with Gwyneth Paltrow's head in a box.
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Yep... where would I be without Harry to consistently name drop?
You are my constant, Harry. -
Apparently he has issues about women being slapped around on film. We all know how he reacted to Chloe Moretz taking a few knocks in "Bad-Ass". The blatant mistreatment of Isabella Rosselini in "Blue Velvet" initially warped his view of what is arguably one of the best films of the 1980's. I agree with him in that I don't condone slapping women around, but within the FICTIONAL CONTEXT of certain movies... it plays a part.The trailer for "Iron Man 2" gives me tepid hope at best. No doubt Robert Downey Jr. will invest it with the same panache he did the first movie, and Mickey Rourke is always a plus factor... but those two elements are not quite an assurance of ultimate success.
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Apr 20, 2010 2:02:39 AM CDT
Wait, wait, wait....you've got a problem with Paltrow getting pu
by holeman
NEWBORN BABY FUCKING is perfectly okay with you to run on the site? I'm just saying: your priorities are totally fucked up, big guy.
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Period
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It was great,but frankly not as good as the first film.
Too much boring scenes with Stark,and others just talking.This slows the pace of the film a lot.....well i`ll leave it at that.Won`t want too spoil the film for you.
Thanks Jon -
just saying...
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We didn't get to see John Doe sloooooowly cutting off Paltrow's head with a rusty knife while she screams about the unborn child in her belly. That and the credit's not running over a scene of Morgan Freeman kicking her head down that long dusty road.
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Don't forget kids, Sam Rockwell is in Iron Man 2. Sam Rockwell! Who rocks? Sam Rockwell does. He rocks the moisture in Scarlett's undies
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"...I'd pull the story if he showed me IRON MAN 2 today." (!?!?!?!?) Are you kiddin' me? The guy calls Harry up to protect one of his actors from ridicule and Harry uses the opportunity to blackmail an early peek at the film? Way to go, scumbag...
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did you know the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?
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Apr 20, 2010 2:23:06 AM CDT
"I decided it wasn't the kind of story I wanted to have on the s
by bass ackwards
And as a result Harry now has this article, which is completely about this kind of story I decided he didn't want to have on the site, it also comes complete with a link and Harry teasing that he's seen the film and can completely confirm the "sheer horror," but he won't do that until next Monday for part two, so be sure to come back for Harry's follow-up where he will go even further in depth to this kind of story that he doesn't want to have on the site.
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That's what I get for commenting before actually watching the video in the article.
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Why do you tossers visit this site. Just to give Harry a hard time and feel better about yourselves? Losers.
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Paltrow is a human being. The baby was a rubber doll. There's a massive difference.
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Because Harry flits between name dropping, and pseudo-realism in so many stories, it's hard to even tell which of the clear statements are real or should be filed under artistic license.There was a story on AICN about an Onion story?That story was about GP getting beaten up in the movie?It constituted a spoiler?AICN removed the spoiler?Harry has seen Iron Man 2?Am I close? Harry desperately needs to lay off the chocolate coated sugar bombs before posting.
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seriously. gullible is being taken to new levels here...
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Apr 20, 2010 3:04:13 AM CDT
I second that. Was it the onion guys who did the whole Ironman t
by thedannerdaliel
about the trailer being mede into a movie? that was soo funny...
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Apr 20, 2010 3:08:39 AM CDT
Serious facial trauma happened to the other Cameron Diaz
by julius dithers
I mean, Katee Sackhoff, on last night's 24. That shit was nasty...and maybe a little thrilling.
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Apr 20, 2010 3:11:03 AM CDT
Why My Friend Roger Ebert is Dead Wrong about hitting women
by eddiemurphyslaugh
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Lady Gwyneth I shall protect thy honor!
Verily I think thou art a talented actress and that thou doth bring to life Pepper Potts in a most seemly manner!
Furthermore the good lady did reveal her bodice for her art, and although thou boobs art small the peasants do appreciate the gesture.
To all the would-be face punchers in Christendom I bite my thumb and say GOOD DAY. -
I'm itchin' to rip "Avatar" a new asshole (Jimbo, you dazzled the generic masses for all the wrong reasons, but failed the geek faithful utterly).P.S.--- No sequel(s) please, Jimbo. Just move on. You've always been about the NEXT challenge.
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Apr 20, 2010 3:16:34 AM CDT
I thought equal rights meant the right to be punched in the face
by v'shael
just like a man?
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Remember when this site was about the scoop? Now all you here is "we cant post our review until the embargo is lifted". Sound like a bunch of scared cunts running this site.
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All movies featuring Paltrow should end with her head in a box -- great quote.
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I always wanted "Se7en" to mutate/regress into a sitcom with Brad Pitt as the single dad and Morgan Freeman as the wacky neighbor (the one who never calls on the phone or knocks on the door; he just barges in and starts riffing), and the severed head of Gwyneth Paltrow as "the wife", only she (the head, actually) is always wearing some hat appropriate to the occasion, and people (day players) are always asking Brad "Hey, what's in the box?", and then cue laugh track. That would be the show's running joke/tagline. Maybe have John C. McGinley drop in as the befuddled repairman.But here, 15 years later... it never happened, and we are all the less warped & fortunate.
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in iceland is doing a great show these days here in europe. can´t believe, that so many things are affected by this dustcloud of it. reminds me of the icestorm or the raining frogs in magnolia... hihi...
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...when she leaves the Battered Women's Shelter?
The dishes, if she know what's good for her. *rimshot*
What do you say to Gwenyth Paltrow with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice! *crickets*
Why doesn't Gwenyth Paltrow wear a watch? There's a clock on the stove! *canned laugh track* -
I would've watch that.
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...But not as much as when he reviews A SERBIAN FILM.
Harry, I'm completely lost. You've put up an article about being told to take DOWN a previous article, only to mention that maybe the first article was correct??
I expect this stuff on Twitter (which is why I don't go on that goddamn site)... But really: WHY?? -
There's no air... no air...
Nope, because Chris Brown had to choke a bitch. Paltrow, to be precise ;D -
Because Harry's post is a mess.
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Apr 20, 2010 4:55:57 AM CDT
ITS A JOKE!!!read it again, watch the clip posted..then cry abou
by thedannerdaliel
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"fanboy faithful" is into these days (kick-ass), and the general level of man-child syndrome it displays when you see grown-ass men having hissy fits because something they dont like is very successful (avatar), or said grown-ass men are still bitching and whining over the Star Wars prequals (apparantly they never got the memo that Star Wars is just movies) some 10 fucking years after TPM. I cant think of any greater compliment you could possibly have paid Cameron than that he "let down" the "famboy faithful". I consoder that a badge of honour these days. And besides, after 2 Billion, 720 million Dollars I really dont think Cameron is losing any sleep over what the hyper cynical,insular, full of shit "fanboy faithful" thinks about anything.
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Kick-ass etc...and their resulting b.o show what happens when you pander to "fanboys"....
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FANBOYS shows what happens when you pander to fanboys.
Cos we all went out and bought tickets to that one, right? Anyone...?
*tumbleweed blows across the ghost town and the undertaker scratches his stubble* -
in iron dick man 2
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...I found out that they, as a fun game for their readers, plant one "fake news" story in each issue. See if you can find it!
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Heh.
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Way to come up with a completely nonsensical excuse to tell us you've seen IRON MAN 2. That, sir, was one elaborate and completely time-wasting hoax. Just say "I've seen IRON MAN 2." That's all you wanted to say anyways.
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Apr 20, 2010 5:58:42 AM CDT
Today, I'm prouder than usual to be an AICN talkbacker.
by kevin holsinger
Getting made fun of by the Onion is a great way to start off the day.And for the record, I love Ms. Paltrow.
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No, Cameron let us down. He made a flimsy, trite shell of a movie that was propped up by its FX. He "Pulled A Lucas", which for him is unforgivable.
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I just ran out of steam, gonna go crash and I will finish it up, ok? Sorry
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Okay Mr Knowles, but if it happens again you're fired.
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You witless dry fuck. Nobody knows you're joking.
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as a come on ... and then I would commit many depraved sexual acts upon her. I would hate myself for it, but she looks damn fine in that Pepper Potts business suit.
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...Ebert will write a review condemning Iron Man II.
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I know you're a busy guy. And your steadfast diligence re. your DVD Column is much appreciated. Still, I cannot soon forgive King Of The World, Version 2.0. IMO, Cameron screwed the pooch, even WITH 2.7 billion reasons to refute my indignation. Fucker. He'd best get on "Battle Angel Alita" or that Japanese Guy/Double A-Bomb Survivor Movie. Jimbo's new middle name is REDEMPTION.
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i pity you fool
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Which makes me wonder, is it ever funny? I know the Onion can be hilarious, but the video version falls flat every time I see it. Honestly, it's like actors with no charisma reciting the transcript of an SNL skit... Just flat and going on way too long for the amount of humor inherent in the concept. Maybe this stuff works better in text form when I'm not subject to some actor's pacing?
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"Hi. I'm Harry Knowles. I feel like writing something and so I'm just going to write the first piece of nonsense that comes to mind. I saw Iron Man 2! But i can't review it. But hey - did ya know someone might get punched in it? In the face! Yeah! Yeah! This was SO worth the internet space."Coming Tomorrow: AICN runs "Does Tony Stark really eat an apple in Iron Man 2?"
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but in a good way.....i'm just saying..
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80% of you twits are moronic, gullible children. Good lord.
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She didn't ACTUALLY get punched in the face and it only happens in the film? How is an imaginary beating worse than fucking an imaginary baby? Not sure how you're making that leap, dude. I mean, I've personally got no problem with the baby fucking scene, I'm perfectly aware it was totally fake and everything, I'm just saying the discretion here is totally weird in comparison.
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But at least Harry got to brag about seeing the movie.
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disagree. For the record, I was somewhat dissapointed with Avatar myself. I loved the old scriptment, and was dissapointed that so much was removed. However I really cant see how Cameron pulled a Lucas as you put it. Avatar has a simple narrative, but its not shallow, its sci-fi used to make comments about the world we live in right now. Maybe you dont agree with what it says, but that hardly makes it shallow. And Avatar has far better acting, pacing, characters you actually give a shit about, and emotional moments than anything in TPM. You may have not liked it, but no film gets an 82% fresh on RT, and 84 on Mete, Oscar wins and noms (I dont recall TPM doing any of that), and makes that much money (is basically a critical and financial success) without having some good things about it.
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How difficult it is to write comedy.
Pretty fucking difficult apparently as that was about as funny as my toe jam. -
damn fine ass
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back and "fixed" his old films. So I still dont see the comparison. And unlike you, I see huge potential in the universe Cameron has created. I want Avatar sequals because 1) The guy has a pretty good track record with them. and 2) I hope to see him make a far better film set in that universe. If nothing else I loved the mix up of John Carter of Mars and Dune with designs that looked like they came out of the pages of Heavy Metal magazine, while having Cameron's more "grounded" take on sci-fi where there is no faster than the speed of light travel, or artificial gravity on a spaceship. And as I said, if you think about the fact that The gas giant has 13 other moons other than Pandora, and Cameron has said the sequals will see the main characters going to these other moons, I see huge potential for a really cool sci-fi universe to be created here.
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is darker, and has a more complex narrative. Also hope he goes his useal route (Aliens, T2) and changes the genre of the sequal to an Action film, because Avatar sure as hell was nt one. Hopefully the rumours Marketsaw.com posted about Avatar 2 involving all out war turns out to be correct.....
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hope Favs has delivered the goods, and this is to Iron Man what TDK was to BB...
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Apr 20, 2010 7:22:43 AM CDT
Harry, your argument about the rubber doll from A Serbian Film
by jamador79
Your argument about the violence in A Serbian Film and that mentioned in this article is completely illogical. You say that it's different because the baby in ASF was a rubber doll, while Gwyneth Paltrow is a real person, but you MUST realize that BOTH instances of violence are not...REAL, right? Whether or not this story is a joke, there is no difference between the two, as they are both intended to appear real, while in reality, no one was actually harmed.
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but I thought this was pretty damn funny. I'm laughing in my Cheerios. You guys do know this is a joke, right?
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Who cares if you've seen the film before us If you don't post a review? I've been hearing you blather about kickass for god knows..at least you can back it up with a review. and don't gimme that shit about you didn't think the site needed another kickass review..what I used to love about this site was the reviews, like and not alike.
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How are you keeping?
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wow it has been a long time...
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yeah im pretty good..and you?
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In the face, even? This is indeed shocking. Have the Comics Board heard about this?
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? Cause 3-D is going to make it great isn´t it? It did wonders for JC´s Smurf movie......
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My favorite part of all this is the talkbackers getting all mad because they didn't get the joke. "How dare you play along with a joke site for a prank? I felt embarrassed for a moment even though I am only identified on this site by an anonymous alias!" Calm yerself, people. Sometimes the best joke is one that isn't obviously a joke.
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Do not post a reply without actually reading the entire story, including links and video clips. It often leads to stupid posts.
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she's a snotty bitch in real life and boring as fuck as an actress.
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hasnt even written a review for K-A.his last topic was only to bash Ebert's opinion ffs,it was not a review.
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Apr 20, 2010 8:09:15 AM CDT
I'm Thinking Harry was making fun of Goop...
by the_floating_skull_of_robert_loggia
By leading into the Onion news clip with the same sort of name-drop BS Paltrow employs on her ridiculous site. Then again, I could be giving Harry too much credit...
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You are one messed up asshole if you think that just because it was a "rubber doll" that gets fucked to death in the Serbian Film or whatever the fuck it was called, that it makes it "ok". Well guess what, Paltrow is just "acting" and isn't actually hit in the face in Iron Man 2. However when you look at the act for what it is, hitting Paltrow around is a HELLUFALOT better than fucking a baby to death. You sick fuck! Neither is good or moral in any way but your justifications for why fucking a baby to death is ok in one film but smacking Paltrow in another film is wrong is just idiotic at best.
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that the sequel will be in the war genre,with Jake and Neytiri traveling to the other moons to liberate the races there from the terrans.
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Yeah that's what I was getting at..the man has seen kick ass HOW MANY times?? Gimme a fukken review!
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Nothing better than a "called Jon" and saw Iron Man 2 before you did, but can't talk about it article. It would have been complete if a nod went out to a free iPad.
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Quite often if an actor or actress comes across as "boring" onscreen, it's because of the writing--his or her character wasn't given enough to do.
Even if you really DO dislike her work, I find it hard to believe so many find her unattractive. Check out the image from IM2 below. You don't think that's a good-lookin' woman? You're high
tp://tinyurl.com/y557jec -
the pic
http://tinyurl.com/y557jec
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I admit that I never really liked her as an actress. The only time I've really liked her is in Iron Man. Her character is interesting and funny and her and Downey have great chemistry. Scenes like her helping reconnect his reactor kind of grounded the movie, even with its comic book absurdity.I've also noticed that for all her good looks, Paltrow has never really been on the list of "hot" actresses.
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And the Onion's brand of humour is too forced for my tastes. Still, at least they made sense. Not sure what Harry was gunning for, but it didn't translate from his head to the written word.
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"and unlike lucas, cameron hasn't gone back and fixed his old films". You might not be aware of this but, with the exception of the first Terminator, there's at least two versions of every James Cameron movie available. However, I do like your berating of "grown men still whining about the Star Wars prequels". That put a smile on my face.
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Paltrow's a bit too lean for my taste. Not very endowed upstairs. There's a shot of her onstage in "Duets" where she looks very thin. But I still find her very attractive; she's got great lines, a neck for sinking your face into. Given the opportunity, I'd wholeheartedly give her my Iron Man Mark VI whilest telling her "please don't turn down my music"
Come to me, Gwyn. You can see that I love you -
lol as they say
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I feel sorry for you, hours of entertainment on that site, they have their duds, but far less than most sitcoms on TV.
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There's not gonna be a London Premiere next Harry, so post your gushing review and get this site back to what it used to be about - REVIEWING FILMS BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE.
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Rant over
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Am I the only person was very excited about this film, then saw the two trailers and started to become worried?
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The pussywhipped influence of Cameron's aging hippie wife Suzy Amis scared up $2.7 billion. Via her decade-long mastery of Jimbo's Johnson(and subsequently of BS Hippie Ideals), leading to a constitutional agenda against THE MAN (save the trees, the noble savages are the only peeps truly in touch with nature, Whitey is bad for wreaking havoc through massive greed for alternate energy sources), she inadvertantly empowered THE MAN (Rupert Murdoch, laughing even louder to the bank than Jimbo) in a way that spiraled irony straight into the stratosphere.Way to go, Suzy. The biggest crossdirected fuckup in the history of movies.
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1) Harry is passing along a link to a satirical video in the Onion which features a (fake) Iron Man 2 news story supposedly published by AICN; 2) Harry is revealing that he's already seen the film and will be posting a review next week.
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At last, someone makes some god damn sense on this site.
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"I'm under orders not to confirm internet rumours so I'm not confirming or denying anything, but I've seen the movie and will be reviewing it another time". Uh, ok, Harry. I love you man, but were you just bored or something? I'm kinda failing to see any point whatsoever to this post.
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Nobody gives a [insert expletive of choice]. Here are just a few things Harry should've been doing on Monday instead of trolling the internet and Twitter trying to find references to himself:Write an obituary for Dede Allen.Write an apology to Roger Ebert.Write a proper review for the finished KICK-ASS.Ban a couple of spammers.
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nice
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Post.
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of the movie news industry. It never has any breaking stories anymore, everybody has lost their balls because they receive gifts from the studios. The reviews aren't coming from fanboys but from people we don't trust anymore. The only good thing about this site is the talkbacks :)
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I couldn't quite make his blubbering out, but it sounded like, "Eyjafjallajokull." -
that would have been one more punch than he threw in Superman Returns.
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It's sad, but it's true (about Supe Returns). I mean, WTF?
But back to Paltrow, I would undress her with my teeth. -
Apr 20, 2010 10:04:42 AM CDT
Harry loved Superman Returns ... proving this site is run by moo
by mcfly in the ointment
And finally today I saw a SUPERMAN film that is no fantasy – no careless product of wild imagination. No, my friends… this is the film I was hoping and dreaming for. A movie to reintroduce SUPERMAN to the world. Many would take this to mean that I was "predisposed" to love SUPERMAN RETURNS - actually - for me, that's not exactly true. I could have shown up today and found a basket of lies and false hopes. I could have not seen the film I saw. A film filled with love and beauty. To not brush the original films of my childhood away like artifacts of a misguided time. Instead – what Singer, Dougherty and Harris have done – well… they too liked the first and second films. And they dared to honor them, but not be beholden. To acknowledge, while reinventing. And – not so much improving, but learning from the mistakes of an era.
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Apr 20, 2010 10:06:09 AM CDT
This site is biased to the point of ridiculous!!!!
by mcfly in the ointment
McFly out.
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... Harry doesn't have his head firmly up Singer and Favreau's asses????
He loves these guys and would never say a bad word about them or their movies, fearing he'd lose his advance screenings opportunities. Just read his review of Superman Returns and challenge and try to say otherwise ...
"And finally today I saw a SUPERMAN film that is no fantasy – no careless product of wild imagination. No, my friends… this is the film I was hoping and dreaming for. A movie to reintroduce SUPERMAN to the world. Many would take this to mean that I was "predisposed" to love SUPERMAN RETURNS - actually - for me, that's not exactly true. I could have shown up today and found a basket of lies and false hopes. I could have not seen the film I saw. A film filled with love and beauty. To not brush the original films of my childhood away like artifacts of a misguided time. Instead – what Singer, Dougherty and Harris have done – well… they too liked the first and second films. And they dared to honor them, but not be beholden. To acknowledge, while reinventing. And – not so much improving, but learning from the mistakes of an era." -
I'd definitely pay good money to see her and Tyson go 5 rounds. Especially if he's wearing knuckle dusters.
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that explains what the fuck the original post means?
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I'm so confused.
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Apr 20, 2010 10:25:54 AM CDT
I'D EAT PALTROW'S PANTIES, EVEN IF THE INEDIBLE TYPE
by bringingsexyback
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Feed me! FEED ME!
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I wouldn't mind my head being in Ms. Paltrow's box.
Oh sweet lady, it is from my lowly perch I gaze at thee countenanece on yonder pedastal. Beseech the gods I may for that time they find you bent over my table for to receive my loving graces. -
I don't think Gwenyth has looked hotter than when she posed nude for what's his name.
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to listen to Gwyn and Huey's cover of "Cruisin'" alone sometime and NOT reach down one's pants to engage in a little digital manipulation of the genitalia. Ohhhh Pepper, Ohhohhgynnahhhh
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You know what differs him (and Lucas,Spielberg,etc) from other talented guys like Whedon,Abrams,etc?
His films dont exploit other pop culture references in order to be more appealing to the general audience.They become pop culture references by themselves.Thats why he is a god and the others only followers. -
I had no idea she was nude in Great Expectations. You learn so much around here it's ridiculous.
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Cameron may not use pop culture references, but he steals from popular culture regularly. Avatar was a complete rip-off of Dances With Wolves and many other films. Most of his other films' plotlines can be attributed to other films as well. Cameron's a great film maker, but - beyond his visual flair - he's not really that much better than the other directors you mentioned.
McFly out.
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Exactly. Well said.
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Go ahead, here it is again. Print it out and worship from afar by utilizing ambidextrous stimulation of the nether region
http://tinyurl.com/y557jec -
Interesting stuff. They can include how once some of his reviews and comments get read by the local goverment in Texas he won't be allowed with in a hundred feet of any schools or even Chuckie Cheese's. I'm kidding! No, really i'm not.
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enjoy it:
http://tinyurl.com/y2oywel -
And finally today I saw a SUPERMAN film that is no fantasy – no careless product of wild imagination. No, my friends… this is the film I was hoping and dreaming for. A movie to reintroduce SUPERMAN to the world. Many would take this to mean that I was "predisposed" to love SUPERMAN RETURNS - actually - for me, that's not exactly true. I could have shown up today and found a basket of lies and false hopes. I could have not seen the film I saw. A film filled with love and beauty. To not brush the original films of my childhood away like artifacts of a misguided time. Instead – what Singer, Dougherty and Harris have done – well… they too liked the first and second films. And they dared to honor them, but not be beholden. To acknowledge, while reinventing. And – not so much improving, but learning from the mistakes of an era.
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Apr 20, 2010 10:54:04 AM CDT
YOU CAN'T TELL ME PALTROW AND BATALI SPENT ALL THAT TIME
by bringingsexyback
roaming the lush European countryside and there was no stuffing of the Italian sausage. Viva La 'Gina.
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Here's Huey and Gwyn doin' their thang.
http://tinyurl.com/y5yjtbt
Meanwhile, my hand is 'cruisin' down my pants. -
I dig.
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was a cinematic abortion. Absolutely fucking dreadful. Harry has no credibility whatsoever.
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That's a fine ass indeed. Film queued up, rub-out imminent.
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that SW and Indiana are complete rip-offs since they have stolen a lot from other popular works.no?
but regardless of that,you didnt understand what i say: The new guys are not only influenced by pop cutlure (Like Cameron,Lucas,SS also were),but they use pop culture directly inside their works.For instance in some Buffy episode Whedon had the rival character comparing their rivalry to that between Vegeta and Goku.I am not implying that Whedon is a hack,no, i am only stating the fact that Cameron (and Lucas,SS,etc) dont do this thing because they are too damn genius to resolve into such cheap tricks to make their works likable.
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cannot hold a candle to Gwyneth, which incidentally is one of the things I'm going to do to her when at last we meet 'neath silken beddressings, oh my sweet fair lady
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You are completely correct again. Abrams complete filmography consists of rebooting 60s TV shows. Pathetic.
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...that this site has posted in a long time.
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although not too nude but still:
http://tinyurl.com/y32n8ga -
long time, how goes it?
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You have now clarified that your initial talkback on Cameron was an important piece of insight because all films have pre-existing source material but only young film makers resort to pop culture references. And, older film makers are better because they don't use pop culture references. Well done!
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And finally today I saw a SUPERMAN film that is no fantasy – no careless product of wild imagination. No, my friends… this is the film I was hoping and dreaming for. A movie to reintroduce SUPERMAN to the world. Many would take this to mean that I was "predisposed" to love SUPERMAN RETURNS - actually - for me, that's not exactly true. I could have shown up today and found a basket of lies and false hopes. I could have not seen the film I saw. A film filled with love and beauty. To not brush the original films of my childhood away like artifacts of a misguided time. Instead – what Singer, Dougherty and Harris have done – well… they too liked the first and second films. And they dared to honor them, but not be beholden. To acknowledge, while reinventing. And – not so much improving, but learning from the mistakes of an era.
-
Stand back, all of you!
I'm going to come! -
...something about Gwyneth Paltrow calling him fat and dehydrated on her lifestyle blog.
-
...something about Gwyneth Paltrow criticizing his yoga form.
-
...between sobs he kept singing something about "Ryan's girl" to the tune of Jessie's Girl...
Weird. -
Apr 20, 2010 11:32:58 AM CDT
Gwyneth 'Kneel before the Pussy' Paltrow
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Slap it up flip it and rub it down! Yeah boyyyyyyy!
-
...well, actually I was crying...and I sorta called him.
I sent him a nightie with a shirtless picture of myself holding a rose that I had made up at the the mall (the expensive place, not the cheap place next to 7-Eleven), and he STILL won't return my calls! [sob] -
Made a account to say that I ran into her once while hiking in the Hollywood hills and I wanted to punch her in the face after 3 minutes.
(she was trying to talk to a bee)
-
If that's true, that's kind of hot. I sort of like that dunder-headed, granola-chomping, crystal necklace-wearing hippy girl stuff
-
Apr 20, 2010 11:36:52 AM CDT
I worship the pussy Paltrow is built on. Kneel before the pussy!
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
She could sqoouze a dick dry!
-
I'm with you man, that trippy hippy stuff stokes the loins!
-
I would do to Ms. Paltrow, as a display of affection, with a shoehorn, my rigid member, and a warm jar of honey.
-
Yep its true, I asked her why and she replied "because bees are so wise"
-
That just made my expiate in my pants
-
Apr 20, 2010 11:54:09 AM CDT
You're gonna play Pooh Bear with Paltrow?
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Winnie!
-
I love those shows where she goes and eats stuff in Spain. Wish I could do stuff like that. My sophisticated palette only experiences McDonald's at the Drive-Thru.
-
He was watching "the news" and saw that our black president informed us of our imminent death from a comet. I told him he was watching DEEP IMPACT.
-
That would make up for me seeing Duets.
-
Apr 20, 2010 12:03:30 PM CDT
Yack, mulltiple earthquakes, 2012 around corner, EOW?
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Black President. Mayans!
-
Jon Favreau called me up crying. He'd been shot, several times. And raped, several times.
I told him i'd drive out and pick him up. I never did.
-
...he says if he has to hear the soundtrack to SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE one more fucking time he's going to kill himself...
I think he means it this time. -
You, sir, are Professional.
-
"who the fuck is joss whedon?!"
-
two pair...i threw down a straight flush.
-
But that's common knowledge.
-
Because it’s 4-20 and he can’t find any weed…
-
that his character was killed off, albeit nobly, in Deep Impact.
He then said the next shape for Tony's arc reactor in Iron Man 3 would be that of a rhombus or star, which will appear on Shellhead's chest:
http://tinyurl.com/y4poypf -
Pound it!
-
that Will Ferrell acted like a man-boy on the set of Elf, and that Zooey Deschanel refused him access to her hey-nanny nanoo back panel.
-
Telling me he missed the April 15th deadline for taxes and forgot to file for an extension…
I told him to blame it on the Volcano…
-
Apr 20, 2010 12:14:20 PM CDT
So, this is a pub stunt by Harry, Onion and Favreau?
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Some crossover multi-site promo?
-
because he had a really hard time working a Burger King product placement into IM2. Then he decided Tony could have a Whopper for lunch while using Pepper as a table in his bedroom
-
i think theres a Star Wars thread..fuck off.
-
You know ... this sort of over-the-top mocking of peoples' sensitivities is making me feel more entrenched in my opinions, not less.
Everyone has their own sensitivities, their own little things that turn their stomach and break the mood ... for me, it really is violence against women. I don't want to watch it, I hate paying money to find a film contains it. Most of the time, it's played out like soft-core rape porn and it sickens me to think that it's a part of the stock plotline because people out there really do get off on it (hey, maybe I'm just scared cause I'm afraid I'll get off on it too, I'll accept that Freudian). I always zone out when the villain threatens the girlfriend in the standard movie story formula and my attention doesn't return until the scene is over. Add blood to a scene and my attention sometimes doesn't return at all. Even imagining Iron Man 2 might contain the scene mockingly described is a real buzz-kill.
Anyway, I'm done killing your buzz ... this is your site, not mine and I'll leave you be. -
I suspect it's just Onion. I can't see Favs going the route of punching Gwyneth, even as a joke. Plus, it's not like IM2 needs more publicity.
It just occurred to me: what do Se7en (Gwn's box) and Stalkerman Returns have in common?
Answer: Kevin Spacey. It's all his fault. -
...he wants to know why she won't call. It's been six months.
-
It was a stunt. A promo. Onion is a satirical site, they are just doing a gag to get pub for the movie.
-
...but it is something I can never do.
Du-du...du-du...du-DU!...CLANG !
Du-du...du-du...du-DU!...CLANG ! -
"RONNNNNGGG!"
"Harry, what is best in life?"
"Eat corndogs. See the wheelchair driven before you. And hear the crying of the Favreau."
"That is good." -
"I know now why you cry."
-
That was a lucid and understandable comment, seriously.
I don't mind the old damsel-in-distress bit in movies. But sometimes, like in the Spiderman series, it gets old fast. I do not get excited by the prospect violence to women or children in film. That said, I can accept it if it is integral to the plot. Not as some peripheral device, and not if the violence is over-the-top malicious, brutal, and unredeeming to the story -
Somebody in post production LOST Gweneth Paltrow’s head…It was in a plain white box addressed to Brad Pitt… Check your mailboxes, everybody...
-
Yeah, Favs might have a difficult time if he went along without Gwynnies permission. I'll bet Gywnnie could fuck the stink off a skunk!
-
moves her bowels, the bathroom probably smells of warm biscuits, honey and strawberries, like an IHOP.
-
There are seriously some stupid mother fuckers posting on this site.
-
I really hope I'm wrong. I really do.
-
He said "Let's do it for Johnny. For JOHNNY!!"
Last I heard he was shot by police while robbing a convenience store -
Fett, there ARE some seriously stupid mother fuckers posting on this site.
-
I told him I'm sorry, but I'm not touching that thing and he should really go to the hospital.
-
I have a good feeling about IM2. That feeling is located in my pants, and it is because of this:http://tinyurl.com/y557jec
-
John Favreau called me up crying.
Apparently he cooda bin a contender. I told him naw, you've always been a fat fuck. -
I told him "Don't worry, Whedon will fuck it up and they'll come crawling back."
-
he said the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one.
Then he told me to come smell his fingers. -
because he wants to reprise his role as Foggy Nelson but, sadly for him, no one is making a Daredevil 2...
-
Apr 20, 2010 12:33:39 PM CDT
Shakespeare in Love! Gwynnie Nips and ass
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
slurp
-
Only Gywnnie could have made it watchable - if she was in a bikini!
-
"Then he told me to come smell his fingers."
Hhahahhahahha! Abom a masterstroke of randomness!
-
saying that he was able to sublimate the Foggy character into Happy Hogan, since they're pretty much two sides of the same coin
Then he said "I'm sorry, Old Yeller" and I heard a gunshot -
...said he needed to confess that IRON MAN 2 is an exact remake of ROCKY III, complete with Stark getting too famous and going soft...losing the Eye Of The Tiger...a gritty badass nemesis who wants it more...
I didn't know what to say. -
He said Mickey Rourke claimed it would only hurt a little
-
He said they even visit the "Tough Guy" gym in L.A. and that during a requisite montage, Frank Stallone jumps out from behind a bush and starts singing:
POO-SHIN! GETTIN READY FOR THE FIGHT! POO-SHIN! EVERY DAY AND NIGHT
Then he sings a couple verses of "Far From Over" and "Take You Back" -
I've honestly never really been attracted to Paltrow...but something about that strawberry hair, and her little attitude and plaufulness, she is just too fucking hot as Pepper Potts. It kills me. It'll really sting to watch her getting batted around a bit. I'm sure its by Rourke, whose character, as a Russian, obviously will not respect women, or Rockwell, who is just sniveling enough of a weasel in this as Hammer to believably beat on a girl. Either way, can't wait. I love me some Paltrow Potts.
-
when they shot the dog...a huge blow back of blood..excessive.
-
... as Harry's love for Superman Returns.
And finally today I saw a SUPERMAN film that is no fantasy – no careless product of wild imagination. No, my friends… this is the film I was hoping and dreaming for. A movie to reintroduce SUPERMAN to the world. Many would take this to mean that I was "predisposed" to love SUPERMAN RETURNS - actually - for me, that's not exactly true. I could have shown up today and found a basket of lies and false hopes. I could have not seen the film I saw. A film filled with love and beauty. To not brush the original films of my childhood away like artifacts of a misguided time. Instead – what Singer, Dougherty and Harris have done – well… they too liked the first and second films. And they dared to honor them, but not be beholden. To acknowledge, while reinventing. And – not so much improving, but learning from the mistakes of an era. -
If that's the case (and I suspect it IS, a little, even if inadvertently) it wouldn't be the first time a comic movie retread something earlier
Spidey II kind of did that, with him losing his power because he didn't want it anymore. And Spidey III borrowed liberally from Superman III, with that whole "bad" superman personna he had to get rid of. -
WAKE UP CHAMP! CMON CHAMP WAKE UP!
-
...even run on the beach in slow motion.
-
You write about this TMZ kind of shit, but no mention of the woman who edited "Bonnie & Clyde"? WTF Harry?
Fuck. I'll do it myself:
http://tinyurl.com/y7ogltt -
It's a joke, in case you weren't aware. While Pepper may end up in peril, like the end of the first IM, there is no evidence that she is "punched" or physically molested in IM2. Visit onion.com and you'll see what the deal is
-
Remember when this site had real stories? Lately, all Harry contributes are blogs about his Disneyworld trip, kneejerk reactions to Roger Ebert's real reviews, and bullshit like this, which doesn't make a bit of sense.
-
Apr 20, 2010 12:46:54 PM CDT
Brad still calls out her name while banging Angie, true story
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
I heard it from my butcher while getting a tattoo.
-
She edited "Breakfast Club"
-
The pivotal scene is when a frustrated Rhodey-Cheadle confronts Tony and says:
"Dammit, man! What the hell's the matter wish-you?"
Then he turns to Pepper and says, "It's over."
I hear Jarvis even throws a bottle of Mad Dog at an Iron Man pinball game. -
No joke:
http://tinyurl.com/y34qny5
I Want One -
..what happens to Gwynnie....it will blow your minds!!!!
-
I hope you're putting me on
Then again, if Pepper is killed off, at least that would be Tony's motivation for crawling into a bottle, setting up the alcoholic story arc wherein Rhodey becomes IM -
"Jon Favreau called me up crying he said the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one.
Then he told me to come smell his fingers."
Hahaha, holy shit. -
Because no one showed up for his 'Dinner for Five."
-
Does this means there's some mean catfight in the movie? Fucking teasers!!
-
http://www.mutantreviewers.com/r4rocky4.jpg
-
cause REVENGE OF FETT is a raving bitch
-
So I gave him the Suicide Hotline number...But, it was REALLY the number to Pizza Hut...
-
"You try having to hear fucking Coldplay mix-CDs that many days in a row!," he blubbered.
-
will conclude the movie by circling each other in a boxing ring, er, demonstration area to spar, er, test their new suits against each other.
-
tears of joy because he has no shortage of website owners to shill for IRON MAN 2.
-
He said, "Where the hell are you? I am losing millions ... Now you got me into this airline you sure as hell better get me out!"
I said, calmly, "You once told me not to get emotional about stock, Jon. Don't. The bid is 16 1/2 and going down. As your broker I advise you to take it."
He screamed, "Yeah, you TAKE IT! YOU TAKE IT RIGHT IN THE ASS YOU SCUMBAG COCKSUCKER!!!!"
All the while, Gwyn was blowing me in the back of Jon's limo. -
...he said it's weird...Gwyneth Paltrow is looking more and more like Martha Stewart every day...he blew his entire effects budget trying to make her not look like an over the hill trophy wife at a country club in Connecticut.
-
because instead of celebrating 420 by getting properly toasted, he wasted his day kissing Harry's ass.
-
You are kidding? It's a fucking film. Where Pepper Potts (a character!) gets a smack in the mush as played presumably by a stunt woman in a piece of fiction. For this to explode the way it has is retarded. It's a footnote of interest about what may be a cool film.
And never pull an article you fucking wuss. -
cause of my oh-so-sexy and silky morning voice.
-
The point of my post is that I want to bang Paltrow Potts. Punched or not.
-
He said someone went and a-touched his tooter.
-
I beg to differ. JJ Abrams's FRAUD TREK has about 90% on Rottentomatoes, made very decent bank in USA, and it's an horrible retard piece of dumb shit. Ley me just say this, what do you think is the better movie, GONE WITH THE WIND or CITIZEN KANE? Becasue the first is still one of the most profitable movie ever made. And the second's box office results from it's whole existence coudkn't even begin to fill the showsoles of the former. And in everyway, the second is the best movie which is still far more watchable and "modern" then the first.
-
He said: "We was at one of these bars in Saigon kid came to us with a kind of shoe shine box. He says shine please? Shine? I says no, but Joe said yes. I went to get a couple of beers. The box was wired. Joe opens it, there were body parts flying everywhere. I'm tryin to put him back together but it keeps comin' out, my friend is all over me, and NOBODY WOULD HELP!"
I said, jesus Jon, settle down
-
He said Harry ate his corndog.
Literally, not figuratively. -
from laughter at the free publicity.
-
I said, "Jesus Jon, if you don't turn off the waterworks they'll put you in a dress and cast you in Spiderman 4."
-
about how Harry crapped all over his boner toast.
-
He had just watched the Expectation/Reality scene in (500) Days of Summer.
I told him Tom will have his happy ending. Just be patient. -
He said, "He came to me, too, Elliott."
-
Apr 20, 2010 1:18:21 PM CDT
Some people think Star Trek is better than Citizen Kane
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
-
...something about not wanting to eat things that would make a billy-goat puke...
-
going on and on about how he should have known better than calling Harry since it'd inevitably be material for another shamelessly name-checking post about nothing.
-
And GWTW is a very entertaining movie
-
about how George Lucas, Michael Bay, Peter Jackson, Steven Spielberg, J.J. Abrams, Paul W.S. Anderson and Uwe Boll gang-raped his childhood.
-
He said Serbian Film stole his idea for Iron Man 3: Rise of the Iron Baby.
-
He said Beaks banned him and he can't talk back no more.
-
Yeah, the flash lights and nonsense plot were annoying, but it was entertaining.
-
because there are no Happy Hogan Slurpee Cups at 7-11...
-
Then his slimy tongue popped out my cellphone and I woke up.
-
about how I never did the Kenosha Kid.
-
did they make ALL that crap up? the phony emails and the cheesy home video? I'm guessing someone found that whole bit funny... just stupid.
-
...he said Scarlett and Gwyneth refused to do the special scene for the UNRATED DIRECTOR'S CUT.
-
Gwyn had eaten a bean salad and Jon was unfortunately downwind.
-
Apr 20, 2010 1:32:43 PM CDT
Gwyneth should be the computer voice in Star Trek
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
You would see Kirk asking the computer for directions to his room just to hear her voice and get an instant woody! Spock would die of aural overload.
-
1. Bragging how Favreau called you personally - whatever, you like to brag about knowing Hollywood. Fine, but still kinda lame.
2. Favreau asked you not to spoil the story, you agreed to take down your story IF he shows you his movie early. Extortionate, in my opinion and definitely medium-lame.
3. But then, you put up this story anyway, talking about what you said you wouldn't talk about anymore - and thinking it's ok because you didn't give specific details. Way lame.
You can do better than this. -
Apr 20, 2010 1:33:08 PM CDT
Is it Olivia Munn's character that punches Pepper in the face?
by thanos0145
Did she bang Fav's to get more screentime in the movie?
-
They probably started quite a while ago, and maybe even had studio help if not direction.
-
No, it wasn't that bad, it was worst.
-
...dude, did you have to add the word "personally"?
Claiming I called you wasn't bad enough...claiming I called you "crying" wasn't bad enough...it had to be fucking "personally"?
Fuck you, man [click].
-
He had lost a top-secret piece of equipment in a bar in Redwood City. I mean, he was really fucking upset.
-
I liked Star Trek. Yeah, it had just as many plotholes as The Dark Knight, but neither movie was trying to be anything other than what it was - summer popcorn entertainment. And they both achieved that.
-
where she makes a movie where she spends half the movie being slapped or punched around. Women call it a tragedy, fanboys call it a masturbatory fantasy come true. And it will make more money at the box office then AVATAR. Well, it did worked well for Jim Caviezel with that Jesusploitation movie, right?
-
"Is AsimovLives STILL harpin' on Star Trek? STILL?" was all he asked...
-
What's a plot hole in THE DARK KNIGHT? People not paying attention when they watch it.What's a plot hole in FRAUD TREK? The whole fucking movie.And then there's the major difference bwtween the two movies: TDK is an intelligent movie made by intelligent talented filmmakers. Fraud Trek is a dumb movie made by dumb untalented hacks. It makes all the difference.
-
During the course of our conversation, the camera slowly pans away from Jon's back, then pulls back out the hallway and into the street.
-
... is one of the biggest non-story since ever. This is a non-story. It's about absolutly nothing.And some of those youtube fanboys who posted about the non-subject are just damn creepy. The enthusiasm and dedication they show for this "subject" is just... well, fucking weird. It's nigh on psycothic. This shit is just too weird and creepy!
-
I said, "He's gone. I mean he's gone. And there was nothing we could do about it."
Then I hear Jon slamming the phone and kicking the booth down. -
That was so nice of Jon Favreau. Always a gentleman, that guy.
-
Apr 20, 2010 1:49:13 PM CDT
Lots of plotholes in Dark Knight, Asimov
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Many, many people have harped on them, doesn't detract too much from my enjoyment of the movie, but some of them are jarring. The Star Trek plotholes are just as bad but a little more forgivable because the story is not trying for realism. Still, I liked both movies, and was entertained by both. And that is all I ask when plopping down the money from my trust fund.
-
that Marvel Studios are a bunch of cheapskates.
-
Did Harry just say he has cool news but won't tell us?
Why do I keep coming here? -
"Wadda ya mean?"
"I mean he's gone..."
I just watched that last night... -
saying that Joe Quesada is his long lost brother.
-
...I have this friend, sort of a work acquaintance...well, he pretends to know me...anyway, I occasionally all him with tidbits about my projects...mostly because I like to hear him giggle.
My problem is that every time I call him, he mentions it on his site/blog and adds little frenemy details like insinuating that I was crying, or insisting that I "personally called him"...always some little thing trying to make himself look cool and me look like a bitch.
I admit I like the free publicity, so I'm not completely innocent, but it's really starting to frost my apricots, if you know what I mean.
What to do?
Signed,
Personally Pissed -
So I says to him..."Didn't I warn you about talkin' on the phone...??? Never talk on the phone, you hear me?"
-
and I were downwind, I would open my mouth and inhale vigorously
-
He was babbling about some friend that got blown up in Vietnam. Apparently he couldn't take him home because he couldn't find his fucking legs. He wanted to know if he gets to win this time.I told him to stop watching Stallone films. He started humming the Rocky theme and I hung up.
-
...he said that Rourke broke Paltrow's teeth after he punched her in the face for real.He told him what the hell he was doing,it was just a scene in the movie.Rourke told him that he was a method actor and wanted to give a realistic punch,so he thought Paltrow to be Carre Ottis but he got carried away a bit.Now Favreu has to spent 10m dollars more just to cgi fix the broken teeth in Paltrow's mouth for the unfinished scenes and the studio is not happy at all with this.thats why he is crying.
-
I want processed through Ms. Paltrow's body first.
-
About how Hollywood turned his friend Vince Vaughn into an unfunny hollow shell of his former self.
-
I'd like it. I'd also like it if she called me "boss," like RDJ
-
to brag about being in Rudy.
And also to complain about the uncleanliness of Gwyneth's shit husk. -
about how he can't directed action scenes.
-
Favreau, on the other hand, was crying.
He said Gwyneth could only get a baker's dozen worth of Vienna Sausages in her conch. -
...he said that Lucas wont have the theatrical OT in the bluray release.again.
-
He said, "You're scaring me, Anakin. You're going down a path I can't follow. It's breaking my HEART!"
Which took me completely by surprise. I mean just last night I said I loved him, because he's so BEAUTIFUL. He said no, I love YOU because YOU'RE so beautiful.
Then we hugged. -
Apr 20, 2010 2:10:58 PM CDT
What if she smelled like 14 day old stinky Tofu?
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Would you still muff dive that? That is true love!
-
takes me back to the EMPIRE AVATAR PROJECT
-
...he said this is like a Talkbacker family reunion...it's...it's so...beautiful!...
[sob] -
Apr 20, 2010 2:11:26 PM CDT
Coming in 2011: The Paltrow Centipede(Favreau Sequence)
by stuntcock mike
-
made from dehydrated kernels taken from Gwens shit husk.
-
...he told me that he hasnt seen his small pennis for years under all this fat of his.i told him that i understand him.
-
YOU don't get to call ANYONE who posts on here creepy or psychotic until you shut up about god damn Star Trek!
-
"Today on Dinner for Five, I ate dinner for five"
-
sigourney thinks he should get a boob job.
-
...he said "don't go!...don't go FlickaPoo! You'll miss all the fun...and the crying!"
I said "I have to, I got shit to do".
He said "then I won't speak to you until you get back! Humph!"
I said "that doesn't even make sense..."
And he started crying again. -
"Russian cunt ejected. NEXT!!!"
-
the dew-dropped petals of lilacs and posies by a babbling brook at dawn on an early summer morning.
Jesus, I'd club a baby seal to have her use my face like a toilet seat -
mmmphmmph
-
"My cunt looks like the lower half of Roger Ebert's face"
-
about Ms. Paltrow. Me, I know who I want giving me my next prostate exam
-
telling me he died......
-
You couldn't leave well enough alone,
could you, little twerp?
No, you had to push it.
Well, now you're gonna pay!i'll decide when he's had enough!
-
http://tinyurl.com/y5gsu87
-
You are making me laugh inappropriately at work. They'll say hey--what's so funny in there? And I'll have to say, "Oh nothing. Just another one of those silly TBs about Huey Lewis and baby seals and the feminine hygiene regimen of assorted actresses, and Roger Ebert, and the Holocaust. That's all."
-
as the act of using Gwyn's excrement to make hot, delicious and sexually gratifying meals in 20 minutes or less.
-
I will be serving Paltrow Pastries...new from Stouffer-Favreau Gourmet Meals.
Just peel back a corner of the film, microwave for 30 seconds, and your guests will be saying you, "Holy Fuck, Kip--you've got to give me this recipe. This is THE SHIT!"
And you'll say, "Yes, Brad, it is" -
He then decided to removeall my talkbacks based on his Superman Returns review. Harry, you know the one:And finally today I saw a SUPERMAN film that is no fantasy – no careless product of wild imagination. No, my friends… this is the film I was hoping and dreaming for. A movie to reintroduce SUPERMAN to the world. Many would take this to mean that I was "predisposed" to love SUPERMAN RETURNS - actually - for me, that's not exactly true. I could have shown up today and found a basket of lies and false hopes. I could have not seen the film I saw. A film filled with love and beauty. To not brush the original films of my childhood away like artifacts of a misguided time. Instead – what Singer, Dougherty and Harris have done – well… they too liked the first and second films. And they dared to honor them, but not be beholden. To acknowledge, while reinventing. And – not so much improving, but learning from the mistakes of an era.
McFly out. -
Apr 20, 2010 2:27:03 PM CDT
After Paltrow saw Huey's pissing cock in Short Cuts....
by stuntcock mike
She did Duets for free, knowing she'd be THIS CLOSE to Lewis' urine stick.
"Dad or not, I will backwash your piss, now, let's siiiiing" -
Ms. Paltrow is a pretty slender maiden. I'm guessing she eats like a newborn baby finch, and that her bowel movements, those precious chocolate ingots, resemble rabbit droppings and taste like malted milk balls...from heaven
-
of prepackaged meals. Not suitable for children.
-
until you've broken into Gwenyth's house and sniffed all her furniture and urinated in her closets and gone bobbing for chocolate-covered apples in her toilet
-
home life?
A romantic evening is them meditating and then tossing cherry tomatoes into each others' mouths.
Brad Pitt used to spend at MINIMUM 48 minutes tossing her salad before doing his best Rocco Sifferedi imitation.
No WAY is she happier now. -
He said, yeah I punch her in the face but we obviously can't have that in the movie, when talking about Payback. Yeah I didn't read the article I'm just saying. For a great man punching a women in the face check out Colin Ferrel in Intermission. Good stuff.
-
Good to see you here.
-
Man, he's making a fucking career out of it.
-
Apr 20, 2010 2:37:41 PM CDT
Well Conti, I would meet you in the Dede Obit ****AHEM****
by stuntcock mike
'nuff said.
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This place has a nice cozy feel to it. Like the hooker over on Gower's snatch.
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method actor.
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A site for film buffs, my ass.
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Yeah--didn't someone mention an obit? Where's that link again?
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Gwen's asscheeks suctioned to my face like the facehugger in Alien
Here's that Dede tribute
http://tinyurl.com/ck5cds -
Some funny stuff here.
-
It needs a "The handsome young Welsh actor was obviously affected by news of her death because when he was told of it, it took him a whole three minutes before he started to shovel pancakes into his face." or some shit like that.
See, no one can imitate Abom. -
shes one mean mother cutter!
-
What is this man thinking of?
http://tinyurl.com/y77jcrm
(A) Gwenyth Paltrow
(B) Lunch
(C) Lunch with Paltrow
(D) Having Paltrow's ass for lunch -
nice!
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"It smells like motherfucking bean sprouts in here. I need a double porterhouse. Where's Kathy Bates?"
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Obit is up
-
Mickey Rourke was hit in the face with an ugly stuck sometime around 1993
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They just posted one here, by HERE meaning HERE, but it can't be as Professional as Conti's, said the strikingly good-looking Welsh thespian from his seaside home in the states, where he was snacking on Paltrow Pastries while reclining on a veranda overlooking a beach fullof half-nude coeds sunbathing.
-
my Paltrow Pastries are in the oven and I've got one hand on my cock--don't want 'em to burn
stay professional -
unending supply of supple, corn fed young ass. Even though it looks like Big Daddy Don Garlits did a massive burnout on his face.
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He said someone just tossed his salad in prison. And then when he realized he wasted his one phone call on me, he hung himself with a urine soaked bed sheet.
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Paltrow meanwhile, is completely dryyyyyy.
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And I just checked out AICN Dede Allen obit. I guess Beaks didn't feel the need to rush on it because he couldn't find any clips with anal rape to insert in the story.
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thats gonna hurt
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the obit would've beat her to the morgue.
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Apr 20, 2010 3:14:29 PM CDT
I bet you five minutes after Tom Priestly (editor of DELIVERANCE
by continentalop
Beaks will have an obit up.
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the way he was instantly swarmed. Poor bastard.
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or it was his idea entirely
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...I don't know what the hell this column was actually about, the talkback was confusing me and I actually like Paltrow. lol Glad you've seen it Harry. Something in my gut tells me you would have snuck some sort of negative hints in there if you didn't really dig it.
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Did you know who edited 'Deliverance' off the top of your head? I bet you did.
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No news is not news, and even if Jon didn't cry about it, it's still not news! The state of this website.
-
However, ask me who composed most movies and I'll draw a blank though. I am completely tone deaf, so who the composer is has always been harder for me to remember.
-
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I can do directors, writers, composers, sometimes producers, but that's it. That's all the 'useless' info my brain can take in.
-
'cause his white trash clothing line is a fucking embarrassment to society.
-
IT SUCKED. HARDER THAN EDDIE MURPHY GOING DOWN ON A TRANNY!
-
Have to wear those fucking retarded Ed Hardy shirts? No wonder people look at the sport as a joke and full of douchebags.
Ok, so maybe it is.... -
Apr 20, 2010 3:40:28 PM CDT
Favreau cried' I'm tired being called ugly Jeremy Piven'
by dirk_the_amoeba
And I'm really sick if Donnie Wahlberg!
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for the GOOP.
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He;s annoying.
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Who will even need to read his review? Hell, why would he need to even bother writing one? Probably would do his ever-diminishing readership a huge favor as they won't be exposed to a badly-written, incomprehensible mess of an excuse for Harry to namedrop and stoke his ego over how relevant he still perceives him as.
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Lots of old faces here in this one!
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Jon Favreau called me up crying, you deleted those spam posts before I had time to buy my Air Jordan's for $33 you goddamn sons of bitches.
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Apr 20, 2010 3:59:35 PM CDT
Operator of Continent. They wear 'Condom Depot' ads on Ass
by dirk_the_amoeba
That is what makes MMA, um - just a tad bit off?
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...he tried the Iron Man suit on between takes, and got his foreskin caught in the hydraulic zipper.
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But isn't he Jewish?
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Apr 20, 2010 4:02:54 PM CDT
Master of Flung Poo - we darn near posted at same time!
by dirk_the_amoeba
In best Joe Flaherty voice ' ooh, scary'
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...on your ass when your are half-naked grappling with another man gay?
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Apr 20, 2010 4:06:38 PM CDT
...Jon Favreau personally called me, crying...
by themagicalhornofguntata
... 'You've fucked yourself now, Harry!'
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Apr 20, 2010 4:11:15 PM CDT
Probably just a precaution so that nothing 'leaks' during the cl
by dirk_the_amoeba
Not gay at all.
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Jon Favreau called me crying, said he'd had a 'nightmare' Terrence Howard had grudge-raped him.
I said really Jon? Really?
Then he came clean, being raped by Terrence wasn't a nightmare it was a wet dream and he'd woken up with sticky pj's.
Sick bastard. -
Jon Favreau called me up crying, he'd just done his nightly 'self-google' and read this thread.
Poor bastard. -
yelling about the exquisite final scene in Iron Man 2 when Mickey"Cunt-trampler"Rourke finally gets to shovel coals into Paltrow's boiler.
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Both professional.
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Just one hit? Yeah right.
-
...thought to ask Ms. Paltrow what she thinks of this? Haven't heard a peep from her camp. Could it be she can take a joke?
-
She's been trying to get her crazy medieval fuck table back from Brad Pitt for 15 years now. Seems sex with ColdplayTwat has become somewhat.....stale.
It was a gift from Peter Bogdanovich. -
self googling = jacking off into your own face
...are you also expected to talk to yourself at the same time?
"Yeah, you want this.. here it comes... keep those eyes open.. don't flinch bitch..." -
BWAH-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA!! ...keep those eyes open...
BWAH-HAHAHA-HAHAHAHA! -
You should really try it with an electrical cord wrapped tight around your neck...
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Ted, you gotta get me out of here. I'm like the drunk guy at the party who knows he's the drunk guy at the party and is relying on a friend to get him home...
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Howdy! Can't stay. Take it easy chumley!
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is John McTiernan's rollerball. oh and batman and robin. that film works as a comedy. farce. but there is an element of tragedy. looking at arnie in that film makes me sad.
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Jsut remember what that cord got David Cassidy, um Carradine
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***squirt***
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...and you'll be fine.
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I'll guide you to safety. Or to the swimming pool if I'm feeling impish.
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At least there's a good running gag from this, bout time there was a new one
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A boy can dream, can't he?
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lets here your poor attempt at a joke
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replaced by punching bag.
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Apr 20, 2010 5:32:09 PM CDT
Bah, this is peanuts compared to THE KILLER INSIDE ME
by badwaldo s revenge
That movie premiered at Sundance Film festival and prompted walkouts. It features Jessica Alba and other women being battered to pulp within inch of their life by a psychopath cowboy dude portrayed by Casey Affleck. See it for the shocking misogynistic violence, if you can stomach it.
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Ha... That made me SMILE to TYPE that...
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I like Gwyneth quite a bit, but the image of sheer random violence conjured up by this thread, I have to say, was hilarious. Especially if Tony was wearing his Iron Man armor at the time, and she went sailing back through the air 50 feet.
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She's a beautiful, talented actress who absolutely nailed the Pepper Potts character. I see no issues whatsoever.
-
Apr 20, 2010 6:10:42 PM CDT
Harry Pussy I say, saw it a test screening in La ending is...
by dudewithsecrets
Senator Gary Shandling teams up with Hammer to get the Iron Man Suit. American government is the main enemy in the film. Rhodie dies saving Potts from Whiplash. Post credits we see Jackson telling Ed Norton to get a now reckless drunk Iron Man back on the team and tells him about Captain America. We also see Hammer putting together a team of baddies from the Marvel universe who are.... well lets not spoil it all. Message me at krisassi@hotmail.com for the full scoop and I tell you wahtever you want to know about the movie, the test screening,and anything else so you know I'm not a plant. Harry and this website sold out but I will not!!!
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Well, most of us, anyway. There's probably a few nuts who feel like they have to legitimately hate on her for some reason, but mostly just goofin. And what are you, her agent?
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then i am already hating the movie.WHAT THE FUCK??????
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Apr 20, 2010 6:21:03 PM CDT
What will you nerds do when Iron Man 2 sucks?
by winona_ryders_pussy_juice
will you kill yourselves? I almost slit my throat after seeing Phantom Menace.
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You'd think the whole "they know Stark is Iron Man" thing would play into more but it just gives the bag guys an excuse to go after Potts. She kinda just becomes MJ to his Spiderman. Her charachter loses a lot of depth this go round. Oh and Black Widow is usless. I don't even dislike Johansen she just had nothing to do. Her only big scene is the one we see snippets of in the trailers. She sneeks into a building to steal some files. She spends the rest of the movie on a computer talking to Iron Man and War Machine on a headset. Oh and in the end she's working with the Russians to get the Iron Man tech...BIG SUPRISE SHE'S RUSSIAN!
In conclusion: best part of the film is War Machine/ the new Rhodie and they kill him off. -
You suck. Stop that right now.
-
It's already leaked elsewhere but AICN will not run with it. Why? Sell outs. There was a marvel screening that included people not in the film departments. I wasn't the only nor am I the first to say it's all special effects, no follow up on the great origin story. Someone at the screening that I sat with said this and I've been quoting it to family and friends all week, "This may derail the Avengers."
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to find the shitty ideas for his films.
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Are they setting up Pepper Potts to be Madame Masque in Iron Man 3? I hope not.
-
Marvel Vs Capcom 3 trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX0okACf578
Now that's a match-up I'd like to see. Say goodbye to your soul, Tony, but god what a way to go! -
you get it?
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Questions. Shit, that does nt sound very good. Is Iron Man 2 really that big a letdown?
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I wish TPM sucked a little bit harder.
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I genuinely hope IM2 is not as bad as it sounds and most of you really enjoy it. I only say "most" because there is no chance everybody will like it. But I can feel the geek disappointment through some of the responses here. It are sad.
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in Korea. What you up to?
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like Kwis, ominus, SDB, Asimov et al, Im just really busy, and dont always have time to check in regularly. Glad to see you guys are still around.
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Maybe you could even call it "LA weird." The people who are all into "holistic living, eco-consciousness, and pseudo spirituality." Basically the yuppy do-gooders who have so much money they've lost touch with reality. A good punch in the face can help those people.
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And what is reality?
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Now it's all toeing the line with following embargo dates. Makes it so that it's rarely worth coming here for advance reviews...you gotta go to the forums of other sites for that now.
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knowing your shit stinks just like the person next to you.
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Might aswell, Jon Favreau fucking sucks as a film maker anyway.
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IT SUCKED HARDER THAN OBAMA WITH THAT GAY DUDE AND A CRACK PIPE. TRUE STORY
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SPIDERMAN 2. THEY WENT THE SPIDERMAN 3 ROUTE. WHOS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS FIASCO i WANT HIS HEAD ON A PLATE
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Apr 20, 2010 9:50:22 PM CDT
Anybody else surprised Favs ain't directing AVENGERS movie?
by ghostoflesterbangs
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I'm purty sure of this.
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I'm purty sure of this.
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I'm purty sure of this.
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“Jon Favreau called and was like, ‘I’ve got good news and bad news: This is what’s happening in editing but we all really like you.’ Marvel and Jon had to add another character from the Marvel universe to keep me included.”
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dunno why it posted 3 times.
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that is not what happens.
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And a thousand geeks breath a sigh of relief. Betcha Harry really wishes he could break it down right now, though.
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work called. Fortunately, HOD arrived to take my place.
With us around, Favreau can never want for a shoulder to cry on. -
Here I thought we were neck deep in scoopsville. I was all excited about spreading spoilers at work manana.
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I saw the flick. Watch Rhodie die and so god if he does you all know Harry's in the biz of making directors happy so he gets set visits and props. He was bought just like hundreds of critics before him, this just feels like more of a let down because he used to be so cool and anti-establishment. This site was all about the scoop, leaked photos nad plot details. Now he has to be silent or they pull the ads of this site and he doesn't make a dime. I love movies, and if he did he'd post his full review with all the juicy spoilers right now. Till then e-mail questions and comments about the marvel event screening I was at exactly 9 days ago.
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Don't do that again.
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Apr 20, 2010 11:39:05 PM CDT
I THINK SOMEONE NEEDS TO PUT A SPOILER ALERT ON THIS HERE
by bringingsexyback
talkback. Just in case.
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that didn't want to know. That post was a continuation of another one where I warned in the subject line. Seriously though, fire one at me. I'll answer any question that Harry won't.
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The "stuff AICN used to be about" that you and so many other people have been mentioning lately came from US. The readers. If we don't send it, they can't post it. And how are spoilers good, or juicy? You're an odd duck.
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Harry just doesn't post those emails he gets anymore, or he gets taken off the guest list at some meet and greet or screening, orlike I said previously they pull their ad money. It's sick, he's just a guy that wants his quote on as many dvd boxes as possible. He was one of us.
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Harry himself has apparently seen the movie. Why not tell us? What is his exact reason for not doing what this website is about...cool news i.e. whether IM2 rocks or not?
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gives very detailed answers to very specific questions. For what thats worth....
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Send me any questions you have or details you want to prove that I have seen this movie and that SPOILER ALERT Rhodie dies END SPOILER. If Harry won't share the wealth I will.
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I think I'd rather trust Harry versus some random hater who claims to have seen the movie, yet sounds like that moron at Chud who was spreading FUD about Trek, saying that Chekov died and there would be a reboot at the end of the movie.
Rhodey/War Machine lives through the movie, I'll guarantee that. Dudewithsecrets is a Dudewithlies. -
Need I remind you howmany times Harry has told us crap was gold time after time schilling for the studios only to later find out they flew him here or there, gave him the interview he wanted, cool gifts and a guest appearance at his lavish birthday party. I'f I'm bullshitting lets have Harry tell us what happens. Who dies? Gaunlet is down.
P.S. Don't blindly follow some guy who lies to you time and time again and makes money from the studios and their ads doing it. -
At what point of IM2 do they mention The Mandarin?... And how exactly does Rhodie die in his battle with Whiplash? Also, what Marvel character does Olivia Munn play?
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Complete and total Iron Man 2 spoilers are at Superhero Hype. http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=335385 Guess what? Dude with Secrets is full of shit, just as Harry said.
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people who don't want spoils won't have to worry. And Critch as I explained in my email to you I can list the summer movies that have novelizations that don't give away a damn thing. Why would they ruin thermovie for you!!!???? Makes no sense Critch. I've read those novelization spoilers, some are accurate and some are way, way off. Not full of shit, just willing to stand up to Harry and his mindless drones is all. They pay his salary!!! Get it? The studios give him gifts, trips, ad money, etc!!!
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Knowing that could just mean you've seen the script. Regardless, that wasn't really my point. You're doing major spoiling and totally getting off on the power of it. That sucks. And I don't understand people who have agendas against Harry and/or this site. There's an abundance of them on teh internets, now. If you don't like this one, just hang out at one of those. Most of us really dig this place or we wouldn't keep coming back year after year. Geez.
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There's a difference between scooping and ruining the movie.
Besides that it doesn't happen, it doesn't make any sense for him to die. Not when he's alive and well in the Marvel universe, not when Marvel can spin him off into his own series of movies. Etc. etc.
Harry isn't a very good reviewer since he gets caught up in his childhood memories too much, but I can't think of any time he's outright lied to anyone. Meanwhile, you're apparently the only person on the internet that has seen this movie, and despite all evidence including the novelization saying that you're full of it, you carry on, despite the fact that in less than a week the movie will be out to review and in 3 weeks everyone will see it.
I can hear your excuse now. "They changed it from the screening I saw it at!" Sure they did. -
Jesus, buddy, it's a movie news site. Save your crusade for something that matters.
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More and more people are fed up on this everyday. You said more people complain now more than ever yourself just a few posts ago. This use to be a place for cool news, spoilers, scoops,leaked scripts and photos. Now it's ads, links to amazon, commericals for whatever Harry is getting a cutback from this week, and his personal blog of nonsensical jibbering. Just calling him on his shit. I like this site and these people so much I want it to be better. That's why I want to be heard. No power trip involved and I want spoil anymore Iron Man 2 stuff from the FILM I DID SEE unless you email me your questions. Help make this place better Jaka instead of swallowing crap and saying tasty.
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He dies. I will not go back on it when it comes out. I saw it nine days ago at a Marvel event for employees and most left dissapointed, like those midnight screenings for Spidey 3 we all remember. Harry isn't lying, he just wont say anything. He said I was wrong, about which part then? Thats fine if he doesn't want to spoil the movie. Just review it. His loyalty should lie with the readers who want the review not the studios.
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Make any movie better videos?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0lOwj88TrQ
Check out Iron Man beats up Hugh Grant. -
I'll gladly come in here and apoligize and sing your praises if you're right. Just goes against logic that it'd be in the movie, right before Avengers, and being the complete opposite of what happens in the novel, and there being absolutely no indication that this screening took place or any rumors to the effect anywhere else on the internet including IMDB. And Harry himself saying that it doesn't happen, when he knows full well that in less than a week we'll know for sure.
But yeah, less than a week and we'll know for sure. -
...it occurred to me just as I posted my last comment to you that your writing style greatly resembles somebody else who was up in this spot stirring the pot not too long ago. Turned out they were from CHUD or some other movie site that I never go to. The fact that you are calling ME out, a nobody, is really quite silly. I have no agenda and I really, REALLY like this site. You are also misquoting me badly. I said nothing at all about people "complaining more than ever". I said, properly quoted, "The "stuff AICN used to be about" that you and so many other people have been mentioning lately came from US. The readers. If we don't send it, they can't post it." And I stand behind that statement. If I'm wrong I'll happily eat those words. But you somehow twisted that around in your next post to say, properly quoted, "Harry just doesn't post those emails he gets anymore, or he gets taken off the guest list at some meet and greet or screening, orlike I said previously they pull their ad money. It's sick, he's just a guy that wants his quote on as many dvd boxes as possible." OK, well. I guess you're entitled to your opinion. But it really feels like you've got a bone to pick from where I sit.Also, seeing as how I like this site (a lot) I don't give two shits how much money they make so long as I keep getting the news I'm looking for when I visit. I've actually mentioned in more than one talkback that I think it's fine that they get some pennies kicked-back from people clicking-through to Amazon. If it doesn't affect the price you are paying for the product (and it doesn't) why would you be against them making money? Same with the ads. Do you think this site just magically exists for free? Do you really believe that all these people are paying Harry and/or AICN to run these stories? Like, do you not realize that most of these stories are all over the internet and/or print press? I'm not saying I don't think there hasn't been a few payouts here and there, but it's no skin off my nose if they have. And I certainly have no proof of that type of thing, anyway. Last thing I'll say is that I fully expect you to misquote a large part of this and twist it around to mean something else. Because that's exactly what that person was doing before. I'll say again, you have an agenda. And you're trying to self-aggrandize with your insider knowledge of IM2. Even if what you are saying is the gospel truth, there isn't a single reason for you to post it over and over, repeatedly including your email address, telling people to contact you if they have doubts. Why not just email AICN directly so they could post the information from somebody not affected by the press embargo? Hmm? No more responses for you from me, good sir.
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How would you like your words prepared... you know... when I feed them to you... and you eat them?
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Any payoff is too many payoffs Jaka. It's called journalistic integrity. I'm not "some guy from CHUD" like you are so sure I am. I go there only if I'm linked from a story on another site. I did email Harry, he refuses to run it even as a rumor. No agenda, I think he should review the movie, it's what the website is for. I don't think many here would disagree with me. I'll be sure to have a side of words ready for you too next Thurs. midnight.
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World premiere is monday, at least that's when the reviews will come out.
Big movies like this have rules to go with reviews and information. If Harry signs something to see it and then breaks it, there's legal ramifications, and Marvel/Paramount may just say Harry can't say a damn thing about any of their movies any more. No more exclusives, set visits, scoops, etc. I can't blame him at all for not putting a review down immediately, especially when in the entirety of the internet apparently only you have seen the movie, and have a scoop so huge that it was hidden from the novelization and the only other person we know of that has seen it said that it's not true. -
Marvel screening!!! Several hundred people saw it. We all said we wouldn't say anything either,hasn't stopped me and others from posting in forums all over the place, guess you're not looking hard enough or at all. Sorry, you know what Harry's word is god right. My bad. Phantom Menace= Great, Superman Returns= amazing, etc. etc. Sorry I forgot he's always right. Heheh, wake up dude.
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I call it as i see it. Though luck if you disagree. Too bad you liked Fraud Trek, should know better. And people who revel on the details of Gweneth getting punched are sickos. Deal with it.
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...I like Gwyneth Paltrow. And anybody who speaks ill of her lifestyle had best have intimate details of it. Otherwise you're doing what is commonly known as "talking out your ass". .. think I need sleep now...heh...
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If thats the case why did you just "spoil" the biggest movie of the year for some of us just to prove how right and cool you are? If you ARE right, it means you're the worst kind of douche, the kind walking out of Empire Strikes Back in the 80's going "Hey you guys waiting in line, I totally knew Vader was Luke's father. Have fun!". If you're wrong it means you're just a liar. Either way it doesn't look good for you.
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I mean, come on. I gotta admit he kinda had me going though, nice trolling, I give it a 7 out of 10
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he needs to be clear alittle.
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Open your heart to SGU!
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DudeWithSecrets = JettL or some other wannabe. He talks about this site as if he has a long history with it but i've never seen the fuckers name before, anyone else recognize him?
So DudeWithSecrets why aren't you using your previous tb name/names - is it because if we saw them we'd instantly know your so full of shit that you're leaking out your ass?
Also, if you're not bullshitting why not post something useful like a REVIEW of IRON MAN 2 on these boards? Why just post a few random spoiler comments and piss everyone off by revealing character deaths?
To summarize I know what your secret is Dude. You're a cunt. -
You sense it right, Harry? The death of this site? The loss of relevance? The laughing stock you've become? Does it sadden you, I wonder? Do the other reviewers have the balls to tell you how far you've fallen?
Nah, so long as two-bit buster shops like Slideshow Collectibles continue to advertise, you'll let this site linger in its ugly death throes. It's like keeping a brain dead patient on life support. Fuck, pull the plug. -
This site's demise is hysterical to behold. It's like seeing a brain dead patient being kept alive on life support - and the doctors and nurses are sitting around trying to 'make a basket' by tossing crumpled up post-its in the patient's gaping lifeless maw. Brilliant stuff.
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The caller ID said he was IN MY HOUSE!!!!! ZOMG
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He was still blubbering about how his character died in Deep Impact 2, meaning he can't be in the second one unless he plays that character's twin. Oh and he said Gwyn's used panties are in the mail.
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He said he didn't know who Joe Satriani was, because he and his emo band don't listen to good music. Even though Joe's been around for like, 25 years, Emo Boy, an alleged professional musician, claims he doesn't know.
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Instead of getting your weekly dvd column done on time, you decide to forcefeed us a worthless piece about Ms. Platrow getting belted in the kisser! If you can't talk about IRON MAN 2 until next week, then you should have kept this shit to yourself. Just had to brag it up that you saw the movie before all of us..what a smart, classy guy you are!
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He said he was the "caboose" in a simulated "human centipede" which also featured Gwen and Scarlett. He was distraught it had to end.
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He can't get the smell of Paltrow's dusty cunt mist off his shwantz.
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I know this opinion may reflect poorly on me as a professional, but RDJ could have a drug relapse, go on a killing spree, club a baby seal, place-kick a puppy, and I'd still admire his work in film
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He said, "It's good to be back...on drugs"
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He could very well relapse and do another stint in the Stripey Hole. I'd still love the prick.
It doesn't mean he isn't above bathing in virgin's blood Hostel 2-style to fire up his once drug ravaged libido. -
Relapsed doing a texas-sized line off Paltrow's hipbone before administering a self-faceblast.
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RDJ--great in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Singing Detective, Hearts and Souls, two Girls and a Guy, Soloist...even Ally McBeal, for schnizzel.
Bludgeon that kitten, Bobby J, I'm on your side -
Since Stunt had to go bring up Gwyn's anatomy again, I'm going to have to drop my pants here and get comfortable...mmmmohyes, that's the ticket
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he seem to be at his most drugged out in that film.
Y'know, I'd be wasted too if I had to share billing with Huey Lewis' throbbing cock. -
Oh, wait...
-
Just saying. Especially when Harry Knowles started kicking ass. I'd watch a movie that was nothing but Harry Knowles kicking ass. Or fighting crime like Ironsides, in a wheelchair with machine guns and heatseeking missiles and whatnot. That'd be damn fine.
As far as Harry gushing over this bizarre humorless misfire from the Onion, I don't know what to say. You're wasting time that you could spend fighting crime, Harry. That's all I'm going to say. -
He said he wants to start a support group for women victims called Fans Against Violence React, Educate, Advocate, Unite.
He began describing the program in detail, but in the backround I heard a lady's voice saying "Jon, Jon honey...?"
I heard Favreau mutter "I'm on the damn PHONE" to whomever it was. Then, seconds later, I heard a smack, crash and a WHUMP -
Allergies are killing him. I suggested he try the Neti Pot and lo and behold, relief.
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Apr 21, 2010 10:44:58 AM CDT
STUNTCOCK DID YOU EVER SEE MY POST RE NATALI DEL CONTE?
by bringingsexyback
You'd like her. She's lactating. http://cnettv.cnet.com/hp-city/9742-1_53-50086564.html
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Mmmmmmmmmm.........MILK!
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Apr 21, 2010 11:06:38 AM CDT
This film has really good signs that it will Suck
by rene_belloq_12inch_figure
Horrible Screenwriter in comparison to the first one.
Very weak character as a Villain. (whiplash)
Bad Casting - Johansson
Too many characters
Should've fucking Battled Ultimo. Instead of an S&M Fan and some robots. -
When he was about to direct Iron Man (the first one) he had a lot of fan input. He started a Myspace page a long ass time before the movie started and got a whole lot of fucking input. This time the dude didn't even bother. I think that's what made the first one so great, having had had a direct line to the biggest Iron Man Fans.
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How long before AICN puts it up? 7 hours?
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Sounds like a remake Burton would want to direct. Which would mean Depp as scarecrow and Bonham forehead Carter as Dorothy.
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There's a big damn difference between having a different opinion on a movie and spreading likely false rumors. Why don't you link to some of these forums that supposedly these HUNDREDS of people are spoiling the movie. It's not happening on Chud, Ign, Superhero Hype, IMDB, anywhere else but this talkback. And even in this talkback there is evidence that you're being another Jett, and at least he wasn't being a dick towards the guy who started the site.
So what if he liked Episode I and Superman Returns? He also loved Kick-Ass, Serenity, Scott Pilgrim, and a host of other movies you'd probably agree with. At least he's not Roger Ebert, bitching about how video games can't be art in one moment and then slamming Kick-Ass cause "Oh no the CHILDREN!"
If he says he's seen a movie, then he's seen the movie. And right now he's posted once in this talkback, directed at you, saying that you "are full of shit. That is not what happens." Time to stop. -
You just don't get it do you. I'm not saying he hasn't seen the movie. I'm sure he has, but he sold his soul to do so. He said that I'm wrong, about what part? It ain't Rhodie dying cause I saw that shit happen! Also he didn't love Scott Pilgrim, he loved the trailer. He hasn't seen the movie yet, get your facts straight Critch. Check IMDB and SH again, and something awful while your at it. I've read friends of mine's posts on all three that were at the screening sitting in the same damn row as me. I can only imagine we weren't the only ones on the internet after the screening. Time for YOU TO STOP, closing your mind at Harry's command. Also, this ain't about Roger Ebert, why would you bring that up haha?
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I've asked this time and time and time again with no response.AICN used to post spoilers CONSTANTLY, they'd just hide them in swipable spoiler text. As far as I know, this was the first site to do that.It was fucking genious because you could read a review and decide if you wanted to know spoilers or not!SO WHY DID YOU STOP USING THEM HARRY?
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Of course part of it because they barely post spoilers anymore at all.
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that Pepper loves to be ball slapped!
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Apr 21, 2010 1:30:17 PM CDT
...Jon Favreau personally called me, crying...
by basement_cheetoh_eater
...that someone gave him a 'Director's Cut' DVD of Four Christmases....and he was still in it.
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I KNEW you'd get around to responding. Seriously, though, you don't get to call people names.
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Now that Lindsey Graham's been outed - the trail will lead to his own closet.
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I have ever seen on this site.
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zing!
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http://www.epinions.com/review/Iron_Man_2/content_508878950020
I'm increasingly convinced you had a vivid dream. Cause it's increasingly obvious that he doesn't die.
Why can't you write a review instead of just coming out with this "LOOKATME" type spoiler? I brought up Ebert because you kept crying about reviews and how Harry is this horrible person cause he's holding his review because of legal obligations, yet here's this other guy who ripped a movie apart for idiotic reasons, and you're quiet.
Just seems odd. -
why are my movies so shitty, she said.
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You saw what he wrote. Doesn't say he signed a damn thing Critch. Think for once. I've given a dozen people my review, anybody can email me for it. You were bitching about not spoiling for anybody here so I haven't. You email me your questions and you get answers. You saw what South African guy said. Jeese do you work for the website are you just one of Harry's personal accounts haha.
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Pretty much every pre-screening, especially ones of this magnitude, make you sign an Non-disclosure agreement that says explicitly when you are allowed to review. Failure to comply at best would get you banned from future screenings and at worst would actually prevent you from being included in any kind of publicity. Harry's mentioned this previously. You said yourself you had to sign something, but since you don't have a website or anything like that as a livelihood it wouldn't affect you anywhere near as much, if you actually had seen it.
Anyone can write a fake review. We've seen a lot here on this site. I don't want your review since the one big piece of information you claim to have is false, according to people that have SEEN THE MOVIE. I'm sorry that calling you out on your lie equates me to be Harry himself, who didn't need to switch accounts to tell us you're full of it. -
HAHAHAHA! I can't believe anyone is falling for any of this! "Senator Gary Shandling teams up with Hammer to get the Iron Man Suit. American government is the main enemy in the film. Rhodie dies saving Potts from Whiplash. Post credits we see Jackson telling Ed Norton to get a now reckless drunk Iron Man back on the team and tells him about Captain America. We also see Hammer putting together a team of baddies from the Marvel universe who are.... well lets not spoil it all." Even if the Novelization is changed a bit, the ENTIRE MOVIE would have to be changed for what you describe. Shandling is a bit part, the whole thing is in the trailer. The American Government is in no way the main enemy, considering that Nick Fury is trying to get him on board with Shield - A Government organization.
Again, monday is world premiere. Thursday is UK premiere. You want to bitch about something, bitch about how they get it a week before us, and they got Kick Ass a month early! -
You're missing the entire point. Harry let us down. I live in LA. I've gone to plenty of press screenings, early events, pre-screenings, and have signed something a handful of times out of dozens. This was an associate of Harry's showing him his movie, nolawyers were in the room you dipshit! He has a job on this site and he ain't doing it like he used to. END OF STORY. You aren't debating that anymore, just poking fun at me. Go for it dude, most people is this talkback agree that this sit isn't about what it used to be about.
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Apr 21, 2010 7:44:53 PM CDT
"...this sit isn't about what it used to be about."
by cheeses_of_nazareth
I couldn't agree more....This sit is making my ass hurt...
t have to sit on my ass to do it...
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And do something that I don’t have to sit down to do…
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Exactly how did Harry "Let us down". How do you know what was said between Harry and Jon? I'm pretty sure Jon himself had to get permission for Harry to see it, it's not like the directors just get a special dvd copy of the movie of the movie to show off to anyone. You know what his job is? Whatever he wants it to be, cause it's his site. In this case, it's teasing a review that'll hit when the embargo is up.
You keep referencing this site isn't the way it used to be. The internet is a hell of a lot different than the old days, nothing is the same. I remember when people would send their reviews in to be published on the front page if they had a scoop. So what's stopping you? Maybe people like YOU are the reason it isn't the same, trying for your 5 seconds of 'fame' in talkbacks. Of course your fame is the same as the guy that came up with the fake script for Batman, bomb in his ribcage and all that. So of course your review of whatever else nonsense you come up with wouldn't be posted.
If this site is so damn bad, LEAVE. Chud and their particular brand of lying hating stupid would be happy to have you.
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That too is already confirmed. If there were Burton, would have been Depp, not Downy.
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Just watched the fine Wes Anderson pic Royal Tenenbaums for the first time, and I hereby reiterate everything I've said thus far about wanting Ms. Paltrow to use my face like a toilet.
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I drink fine wines and eat stinky cheeses
My bowel movements are exquisite experiences
I have Gwyneth Paltrow to thank for my sublime and lofty perspective
Embrace the Goop Lifestyle
Subscribe to her newsletter
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sure it may look and feel like something out of Hostel or Saw XVII but it's never not a cosmic, quasi-orgasmic experience that makes my eyes water with thoughts of Gwyn
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I'm not picking sides, but I don't see why any of the events described above couldn't happen in the movie. Of course, were Rhodey to die, that would fall outside of comic book canon, where Rhodey replaces Tony as IM during the alcoholic phase.
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The reason the events listed above can't happen in the movie is because they aren't in the novelization, they aren't mentioned in the one review that's come out that I linked, and the one guy that actually has seen it, Harry, said that, QUOTE, "Dudewithsecrets is full of shit."
Not to mention they're not going to end a summer blockbuster movie that leads directly into the biggest movie crossover ever imagined with the death of a beloved fan character who could very easily headline his own spinoff movie. It makes no sense any way you think about it. -
because Zooey Deschanel smacked him across the face. Jon told Zooey that he felt Elf was a better picture than 500 Days of Summer.
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punishment sending someone over to crap...er I mean Chud. No-one deserves THAT......
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That whole site's community is anti-AICN, and they have a history of either outright lying about a movie in an insane attempt to steer public opinion away from it (Star Trek) or just completely hating on it for years for no reason (Avatar). Perfect place.
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Was there any need to do that?
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I really enjoyed Zooey in Elf. I found her...bateworthy.
Speaking of which, for those unawares, Zooey is now a 'real' singer in a group called She & Him. They're on tour now. I'd let her slap me. Repeatedly. -
First of...naaah, I'm just trying to put some some positive words for an actress I like. She's been a bit over played by the media, in that every few weeks there was another article on her. Her publicist is good, though. I'll grant that.
Also, regarding Harry's reviews. Well, that's his style. Been that way since 1997 or so. Ya just gotta roll with it, man. Same thing with this enthusiasm. Harry's said form day one that he sees AICN as a movie news site, not as gossip or slander. He's a total movie fan, and that's the viewpoint through which everything from him is filtered. Yeah, takes the bite out of a lot of articles, but them's how it is. -
Apr 22, 2010 11:14:34 AM CDT
Christina Ricci's forehead just called me crying
by abominable snowcone
because Gwyn is out of toilet paper. I said don't worry Chrissy; I've got a tongue, and after it tends to Gwyn it will bathe the twins
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He's lying, no worries.
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First off not lying bateman, Critch loves Harry toomuch to see that. Then there is the CHUD is anti AICN. Wrong again Critch. You ever live in Austin Critch? Ever been to a BNAT or Fantastic Fest? No. If so you'd know that Devin from CHUD has been a personal guest of Harry's at both. They respect each other and their individual sites. Truth is this one's going down hill and CHUD's readership is way up. Them's numbers baby. Critch, just don't come crying when a certain someone dies in front of you. Also there are no plans for a War Machine spin off or even any confirmation that he would be in The Avengers as his is not in many many incarnations of it. Get your head out of "the novelization of the film" and read some comics poser.
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because the ruhtards that post on AICN inexplicably hate every movie he's made even though they're all fucking great.
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because the ruhtards that post on AICN inexplicably hate every movie he's made even though they're all fucking great.
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SMACK!
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Not the kind of story you want to run? AFTER it got posted. You are a miserable douchebag and a liar.
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He said Morrigan just pwned him his repulsors did not stop her and she seduced him with her succubus charms and then slammed him into the ground then laughed at him and said "you're weak like all the other men whose souls I have consumed!"
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Proman's a dick, and Dudewithsecrets is a liar. I'll be back next week to see Dude crying about how horrible Harry is and how they've changed IM2 from the version he saw. Course, like all the other hit and run liars, he won't have the guts to stick around.
See ya! -
They kept trying to make me like, WORK at the office yesterday. Fucks.
Now back to Gwyn's turdcutter. -
Apr 23, 2010 8:44:46 AM CDT
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This TB is about Gwyn's taut sphincter and her neckline. Get out of here with that shite.
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This is an awful story. I won't boycott this site because of it, but please don't make a point of having no-news, misogynist posts for our reading pleasure.
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Hold me to my word you fool. Stand up for Harry the guy who makes money off of you everyday. Didn't answer my question about CHUD though did he eh? No suprise I suppose, like I said prolly Harry's own account or just a lackey. And again, you don't read comics do you? Eat those words, they are gonna taste so sour.
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Thankfully you realised this but it took an Onion video to make you feel like a toolbag. A lot of your posts come across as extremely sad.
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Apr 25, 2010 12:11:23 PM CDT
This isn't an insult at all toward Aspergers(or 's) sufferers
by gotilk
at all. But this talkback is another great example that keeps proving, at least to me, that we have a larger percentage of users here with Asperger's than most sites/forums.
-
Apr 25, 2010 12:30:32 PM CDT
anyone who cries about grandpa while getting oscar can't be bad
by lettersoftransit
and she seems to do nicely in the banter scenes. BY the way why does my computer keyboard sloe like a motherfucke like I've got a big honkin' virus when i'm on this site (and not so much elsewhere)?
-
Does Gwyneth get hit in the face with a grapefruit? Because I'd love to see that. And then I'd like to see the grapefruit juice run all over her naked body, and...well, you get the idea.
Oh, and the one guy I know who saw IM2 said it's a lot of fun. -
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Go read the review. Or any of the other reviews. The only "secret" was that you haven't and won't see the movie until it comes out like the rest of us.
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