Movie News

The Easter Bunny brought us Mr. Plinkett's ATTACK OF THE CLONES review!

Published at: April 4, 2010, 8:45 p.m. CST by quint

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here taking a break from wrapping up my WonderCon coverage to point you in the direction of Red Letter Media's newest reviews. If you're not familiar with Mr. Plinkett and are wondering why the hell I'd post a 90 minute video review of an 8 year old movie then you obviously haven't seen his 70 minute long review of The Phantom Menace. It's okay. Over a million people have, but you can still catch up. Start here and watch all 7 parts. You won't regret it. Red Letter Media's Mr. Plinkett is an inspired character who is equal parts entertaining and insightful. What I loved about his Phantom Menace review is that it didn't devolve into "Jar Jar Sucks!" fanboy shit. We all know Jar Jar sucks, but what Plinkett does in that review is so much more. It's a deconstruction of the whole movie, down to basic faults of character and structure and first draft-level inconsistencies. It's been a long time coming, but Plinkett has finally walled up his latest ex-wife and had time to review Attack of the Clones. I don't think this series is as great as the last run, but I still got a lot of laughs out of it. I've embedded all 9 parts below! Enjoy and make sure to comment if you want a pizza roll...

















If nothing else his montage of Yoda's speech on the Force from Empire intercut with Lucas' direct contradictions in the prequels is glorious. That is exactly why I can't ever enjoy the prequels as a whole and why I personally choose to not even acknowledge them as part of the Star Wars universe. Hope you guys get a laugh from this while zonked out on Easter candy and/or post-mass delirium! Happy holidays! -Quint quint@aintitcool.com Follow Me On Twitter



Readers Talkback

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  • April 4, 2010, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Yes!

    by santoanderson

    Finally!

  • April 4, 2010, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Funny shit

    by Baron_Moritani

    This guy does a good job. and second!

  • April 4, 2010, 8:49 p.m. CST

    this dude

    by batman713

    sounds like a fucking retard who had multiple strokes.

  • April 4, 2010, 8:49 p.m. CST

    90 minutes of let-down fanboy pissy bitchin? Are you a tard?

    by Tall_Boy66

    Yeah, cause this would be real fun to watch. Christ.

  • April 4, 2010, 8:51 p.m. CST

    I ignore those fuckers, too.

    by Flexfill

    The prequels suck and the revamped originals fuckin' suck.

  • April 4, 2010, 8:52 p.m. CST

    "Wah! I didn't like the prequels! Wahhh!" for 90 minutes

    by Tall_Boy66

    If you factor in his phantom menace review, that's two and a half goddamn hours. Glad I wasn't sitting near Quint when he was watching this. Don't wanna see somebody angry fanboy wanking with "Ooooh, yessssss. Tell me them prequels suck. Mmmmhmmm." Sheesh.

  • April 4, 2010, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Have a cry fanboy

    by eggers

    What a waste of energy, don't like something? don't watch it! People are morons.

  • April 4, 2010, 8:56 p.m. CST

    *fapfapfap*Yes, Jar-Jar is awful and Anakin can't act *fapfapfap

    by Tall_Boy66

    Need a tissue?

  • April 4, 2010, 8:59 p.m. CST

    Anyone who writes these off as fanboy whining...

    by Karl Hungus

    ...hasn't seen them. Or is incapable of critical thought. Or is a mindless apologist who still sleeps in their Boba Fett Underoos. Beneath the surface, Plinkett's reviews are incredibly insightful and have more thought put into them than Lucas put into the prequels. Aspiring filmmakers and writers would do well to watch Plinkett's reviews and avoid the critical and easily-avoided mistakes Lucas made.

  • April 4, 2010, 8:59 p.m. CST

    Dude can't get over 3 Movies...

    by Redfive!

    this guy makes all fanboys look like mommy-living,mouth-breathing,nose-picking,masterbating on the internet-douchebags.GET OVER IT there just movies.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Loved The Phantom Menace review

    by magnetoelectric

    I remember I had no intention of watching all of it at first .. And then it just sucked me in

  • April 4, 2010, 9:01 p.m. CST

    No Love for Critics

    by BackwardGalaxy

    Wow, you assholes do realize that critics make a living doing exactly what this guy has done, right? You also do realize that meticulous deconstruction of things like story structure and theme is used as a fundamental teaching tool from like middle school on, right? <BR><BR> Someone says, "I don't like so-and-so" and we get on them for failing to articulate their thoughts with a well thought out argument and proper examples. Then, when someone does just that, we rip on them for being overly thorough and claim that they have no life. <BR><BR> How about you take your own advice. If you don't give a shit about it, then don't watch it, assholes.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:02 p.m. CST

    Most Critics...

    by Redfive!

    Are A**holes too.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:03 p.m. CST

    what i dont get....

    by Bouncy X

    the ones who dislike the movies get insulted or even pissed off being called haters. but then they go and call anyone who actually likes them apologists? i just don't understand why the concept of a different opinion is so hard to grasp.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:03 p.m. CST

    The funny thing is...

    by Karl Hungus

    ...Plinkett pretty much never makes ANY of the criticisms ("Jar Jar sucks," "Anakin can't act," etc.) that his detractors claim he does. He's almost entirely focused on story and character, as examined through the cracked prism of his serial-killing, basement-dwelling fanboy character.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Y'know, I sorta didn't mind "Clones" way back when...

    by Laserbrain

    But Plinkett is hilariously on the money with this one. Can't wait for the even more hilarious fanboy meltdowns which will surely follow his "Sith" review; a movie, for all its poe-faced pretension, is every bit as anti-dramatic and risible as its PT stable mates.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:09 p.m. CST

    Tall_Boy66

    by BadMrWonka

    if you think that's all this is, you're really not getting it. you ought to watch them, honestly.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:10 p.m. CST

    Gotta agree, Laserbrain

    by BumLove

    There's more unanimity on the first 2 films, and just how bad they are....but a lot of people claim the 3rd one was good, just because it wasn't a complete abortion like the first two....but it still sucked, and suffered from many of the same problems the first two had....like action sequences that defied logic and were cartoonish in their lack of reality, which made the audience not care what happened. That light saber duel between Obi Wan and Anakin at the end amidst the lava pits was sleep-inducing. You can only watch two men touch light sabers so many times...eventually it's like watching two dudes touch their pee-pees together over and over again....I was just waiting for it to be over....

  • April 4, 2010, 9:12 p.m. CST

    great review, hope he does one for ROTS

    by RedBull_Werewolf

    the best part of these reviews is that they are like 90 minute comedy specials, you have the review and the stuff about the womne in his basement doing the puzzle. It's funny stuff and a great way to spend an hour and a half. anybody know who's behind them, wouldn't surprise me if it is a stand up comedian, but one of the smart ones that anaylizes stuff

  • April 4, 2010, 9:13 p.m. CST

    I wasted 70 minutes watching the first one...

    by StarWarsRedux

    ...I won't make the same mistake here. I checked out the TPM review just so I wouldn't be avoiding it. Turned out to be a pretty massive chore to me. The plot/script/story grievances Plinkett and others have over the Prequels could be made about just about any other big sci-fi/fantasy movie of the past decade, especially the ones that fanboys adore. Jackson's LOTR films? Probably. "King Kong"? Definitely. "The Dark Knight"? Absolutely (though I do like that one). JJ's "Star Trek"? Without a doubt.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:13 p.m. CST

    An important historical document.

    by MaxTheSilent

    This video series should be preserved for all ages.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:13 p.m. CST

    Neither side is helped by the name calling Bouncy X

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    But people who actively like the prequels beyond the sort of "well, at least it's StarWars/the effects were good" are apologists, because as the review of TPM points out (as have others, this redlettermedia's review are just really well put together, visually pleasing/illuminating, and hilarious), the prequels are illogical balderdash, and completely inconsistent with what came before, not to mention the fact that Lucas and Co. KNEW it after they saw the first cut, but because they were so dependent on the CGI, couldn't do anything to save it.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:16 p.m. CST

    Hilarious Must-See Videos

    by fiester

    This guy is an artist. His reviews are more creative, insightful, intelligent and worthwhile than the films he's reviewing.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:20 p.m. CST

    Notice his prisoner calls him Harry...

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    Hmmmmmm....

  • April 4, 2010, 9:20 p.m. CST

    Watched the last part

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Criticizing Ep 2 for its nods to Empire seems retarded to me. If anything, the part pointing out the echoed bits actually made me appreciate Ep 2 for doing that. A different VO there and it could have been a positive take on the whole thing.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:21 p.m. CST

    This IS an important historical document...

    by rev_skarekroe

    ...but not for the reasons you probably think it is.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Hey Eggers, you're a HYPOCRITE!!

    by The Dark Nolan

    Okay, so you are ripping on something that you watched while saying if you didn't like something you watched, don't watch it!!! FUCK you and think before you post this shit. To quote you, "If you don't like something, DON'T WATCH it." You're right, people are fucking morons, JUST LIKE YOU!!!

  • April 4, 2010, 9:24 p.m. CST

    It sucks when people judge something before they see it.

    by vizui

    And this comments section is a good example of that. If you actually think this review is as shallow as 70 minutes of a fanboy barking over how Jar Jar and Anakin suck then you are a retard. Period. As a few others have said.. this guy makes some of the best points and critiques on the prequels as I've ever heard any other fanboy make. He's also damn funny. Just give it a while to suck you in and you wont regret it.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:31 p.m. CST

    i've just watched the first two parts..

    by Bouncy X

    maybe its some joke that'll be revealed in one of the later parts but twice now he's mentioned Boba Fett and showed Jango Fett. i have to assume doing these huge ass reviews that he's a big Star Wars fan so i was surprised seeing that mistake, if it indeed is one.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:33 p.m. CST

    PM review was awesome going watch this NOW

    by Pitofbenders

    It was put up on a Sunday morning, and I had no intention of watching it all, but I seriously sat there and watch them back to back. The guy is pretty funny and makes a lot of valid points about how terrible the story and plot points are. Not too mention how awful the characters are and the decisions they make. And I now intend to watch this one, again on a lazy Sunday. Can't wait to see how he rips this one a new asshole. BTW I do like the prequels, as bad as they are, it's SW and I love SW. Can't help it, but they ARE still crap. Oh well.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:33 p.m. CST

    Plinkett is spot on. Again.

    by Happyfat73

    A lot of people seem to hate his reviews because they show how the TPM and AOTC are, objectively, bad films characterised by poor storytelling.</p> It's hard to defend something that has been so insightfully deconstructed and revealed to be terrible shit. People resent that. No one likes to be shown that the thing they love is irredeemably stupid.</p> It would be one thing if it was mere fanboy wankery, however Plinkett's reviews are incisive and show a real depth of knowledge and understanding of what makes good storytelling. Plus, they're funny as shit. I agree with Quint - the AOTC review is not as good as the TPM review, but I think that's just because, by now, the basement-dwelling sociopath schtick isn't as fresh anymore.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:37 p.m. CST

    regarding the name calling....

    by Bouncy X

    i still don't see why anybody needs a big, deep answer as to why they like or dislike these movies and then be called a name for whatever their feelings are. they feel one way about them and you feel the opposite, the end. why is anyone a hater or an apologist? because they dont share your opinion? is your world really gonna crumble because other people dont feel the same or see your point of view on it? i mean they are just movies afterall.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:38 p.m. CST

    One piece of advice for Plinkett..

    by Happyfat73

    Don't let the reviews devolve into "catch-cry" humour. The "What's wrong with your face" line has the potential to get old, real quick.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:39 p.m. CST

    I love Mr. Plinkett

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

    Right on the money, they should make his reviews 3d instead of re-releasing these shitty movies.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:40 p.m. CST

    Bouncy

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    The Boba thing is not really explained as a joke exactly, but it's obviously done on purpose. This guy crams in a lot of subtle insults amidst the more obvious critiques, with various cutaways and such. Pretty smart stuff...

  • April 4, 2010, 9:42 p.m. CST

    I can't believe people hate his reviews

    by blogintomystery

    I've watched all of them and, to be honest, enjoyed his going over of The Phantom Menace more than I would revisiting the film itself. I have to believe that this one will be just as good.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:45 p.m. CST

    HA HA HA HA HA!!!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    The screencaps on the YouTube links alone are enough to garner a laugh.<P>Although Plinkett's SW reviews generally take the piss out of EVERYBODY (movies and fanboys alike), 9 parts is a bit much. Sheesh.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:45 p.m. CST

    I actually find AotC re-watchable

    by california_mtz

    But then again I find myself re-watching Matrix #2 as well. I guess I'm just weird, or a fREEX. I loved Mr. Plinkett's TPM deconstruct so I'm going to watch this right now. Happy Easter/Passover/etc. everyone!

  • April 4, 2010, 9:46 p.m. CST

    one of the best things to come from youtube, like ever...

    by TitansMirth

    Beyond the superficial entertainment value of these reviews is one of the best thought out dissection of the prequels I have ever come across. This is not your typical diatribe on how much Jar Jar sucks, but is a much deeper comparison on how the prequels simply fail on just about every level compared to the OT. A huge star wars fan myself, actually the empire strikes back being the first movie I ever saw in a theaters back when I was like 7, the prequels utterly killed star wars for me. I know the fan-boys or apologists or whatever probably won't have the fortitude to make it through these, but for me these were a great catharsis. I learned two importing things: 1) the prequels are as bad, actually worse than I remember them being and 2) the originals were really brilliant, actually much better then I gave them credit for. For me, it actually gave me a little glimmer of what it was like to love the star wars universe again, and after watching some of the original movies again today after these reviews, I actually feel a little bit like a fan of star wars again, something I hadn't thought about for quite a few years now. Anyways, thanks for the link to these, I watched TPM reviews when you posted them a few weeks back and have been checking his site everyday for his new review. These may not be as good as his TPM review, but he already covered some of the most glaring problems in the prequels in general in his first run at them. Still, pretty awesome tho.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:47 p.m. CST

    the decoy resurrection

    by Bouncy X

    wow, they used the same actress after she's supposed to be dead, thats hilarious. i wonder if its an editing mistake or if they'd have an actual reason behind it like there's a whole set of clones or something. or maybe Lucas couldnt afford to hire anyone else cuz he's so poor.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:48 p.m. CST

    Shh, UmpireStrokes...

    by Laserbrain

    Plinkett's fan-baiting. You'll scare the fish away.

  • April 4, 2010, 9:54 p.m. CST

    LOL This shit is funny!!! And I agree about the lightsabers..

    by HollywoodHellraiser

    being overused! A person with a lightsaber was supposed to be badass but in the prequel everyone had one!<p>WTF, Lucas did make lightsabers un-cool!

  • April 4, 2010, 10 p.m. CST

    QUINT - VERY WRONG

    by Dharma4

    I think this surpasses the Phantom Menace review. If not, in par. Seriously.

  • April 4, 2010, 10 p.m. CST

    He knoes it's Jango but wants a reaction

    by FrodoFraggins

    He knows too much about star wars and especially the prequels. He just knows people like Bouncy will get bent out of shape and fall for it.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:05 p.m. CST

    fridays clone wars was sweet

    by BEYONDTHUNDERDOME2GIRLS1CUPBILLCOSBY

    the next two weeks are the beast duology and then the boba fett revenge trilogy.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:06 p.m. CST

    calling this "insightfully deconstructed" is fucking delusional

    by Tall_Boy66

    Very simple here. Pissed. Off. Fanboy. You can class it up by wanking yourself around saying, "Oh, yess, hmmmmmm." (possibly while holding a snifter of brandy in your hand, sitting by a fireplace) "it is pointing out the inherent logical and logistical flaws that are in every single one of George Lucas' prequels. Aspiring filmmakers should take not. Hmmm. yesssss." all that fancy window dressing bullshit you tell yourself to help you watch it, boil it down it's essentials as to what this video is, and what it is is. Bitchy. Fanboy. Whining. Like a bitch. That's all. Game over.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Mr. Plinkett ?

    by KHjLL

    What has he made that makes his opinion valid?

  • April 4, 2010, 10:08 p.m. CST

    Are you nuts Quint?

    by Lukecash

    For God sakes, why are you supporting this jackass? While The prequels were not academy award winning material, please don't believe that the originals were any better. <p> In the end, they were enjoyable fun rides in there own stylized way (And yes Lucas intentionally went for a 30's style)

  • April 4, 2010, 10:09 p.m. CST

    The PHATOM MENACE, ATTACK OF THE CLONES were awesome.

    by KHjLL

  • April 4, 2010, 10:11 p.m. CST

    plinkett's reviews are hilarious, but he CHERRY-PICKS targets.

    by RedHorseVector

    you could do videos of equal length tearing apart the ORIGINAL star wars and star trek movies as well, but fanboys have a much harder time evaluating flicks they loved when they were kids and actually knew how to suspend disbelief. that said, i especially enjoyed his review of star trek: nemesis.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:13 p.m. CST

    Tall_Boy66 call the police!

    by Toilet_Terror

    I'm pretty sure lobotomy is illegal!

  • April 4, 2010, 10:15 p.m. CST

    HAHAHA Toilet_Terror made a funny! I think!

    by Tall_Boy66

    Wait, uh, what the hell are you talking about? Great lobotomy reference. Dur! Prequels sux!

  • April 4, 2010, 10:15 p.m. CST

    Right on the money.

    by JudasPriestly

    Too bad the prequels can't be remade. My idea would have been that Obi Wan finds Anakin (which would be a teenager) on Tattooine. Anakin is a slave, but his lif is 10 times more painful that portrayed in The Phantom Menace. Anyways, Obi Wan helps Anakin escape and they make their way to the Jedi Temple which isn't even on a planet....it's a fucking HUGE starship. Plus the Jedi Masters on board can use their combined power to tear opposing ships in to pieces.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:15 p.m. CST

    "please don't believe that the originals were any better"

    by Toilet_Terror

    Yes. The first two were.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:16 p.m. CST

    I still like Clones more than Phantom

    by Orionsangels

    It had no kid in the lead, no boring Liam Neeson and at least some connection to old Star Wars. TPM felt like Dinotopia.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:16 p.m. CST

    KHjLL

    by Happyfat73

    His opinions are valid because he qualifies them with logical reasoning and specific examples that demonstrate sound knowledge of storytelling. What have you done lately?

  • April 4, 2010, 10:16 p.m. CST

    You're foaming at the mouth.

    by Toilet_Terror

    I'm surprised you can type.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:17 p.m. CST

    Let's insightfully deconstruct Toilet_Terror's post, shall we?

    by Tall_Boy66

    Let's see, if you look at what he posted, he said "lobotomy is illegal!" which, if you dig deeper and deeper into the structural flaws of his post, it means he's a fucking retard.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:18 p.m. CST

    It's alright, I understand.

    by Toilet_Terror

    Thinking hurts your head.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:19 p.m. CST

    Tall_boy66

    by Happyfat73

    Instead of being Fan Dumb, how about you point out something, anything, that is invalid about his criticism? Do you disagree with any of his points about the egregious plot holes, poor storytelling techniques and non-existent characterisation in the SW prequels?

  • April 4, 2010, 10:19 p.m. CST

    Seriously, Toilet_terror, what in God's name are you talking abo

    by Tall_Boy66

    If you want to make a point, you actually make a point. What you do is you use the keys infront of you to type what you mean. Seriously, I'm intrigued what is going through that little brain of yours as you struggle to communicate with the big wide world that so obviously scares you that you can't even explain yourself coherently. Go ahead. You can make it if you just try!

  • April 4, 2010, 10:19 p.m. CST

    why don't you two fags get a room already?

    by RedHorseVector

  • April 4, 2010, 10:20 p.m. CST

    Toilet_terror tries to buy something at the mall

    by Tall_Boy66

    He walks into a place, points at a mellon and yells "MONEY! EAT FOR FOOD PLUS ENERGY!" People look at him funny and throw him out on his ass. This is what he has to deal with every day of his life. No surprise he can't even articulate a single thought coherently.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:21 p.m. CST

    The prequels didn't fail - the audience did

    by Sithdan

    These bloated "Mr. Plinkett" reviews bring nothing new to the table. He just recycles 10 years worth of anti-prequel rhetoric and regurgitates it on YouTube. There should be a 70-minute review of his review that brings to light how unoriginal it is. We've been hearing about how inferior the SW prequels are for a decade now. Let's hear something different or MOVE the FUCK ON!

  • April 4, 2010, 10:23 p.m. CST

    I didn't realise there was a statute of limitations

    by Happyfat73

    on these things.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:24 p.m. CST

    Those complaining these videos are whining....

    by CCon99

    The last laugh is on you folks who think these videos are just 90 minutes of whining. This guy who created them is a genius, 90 minutes means 9 separate videos that get hundreds of thousands of hits. When you get that many hits on your personal videos, Youtube actually pays you to slap advertising on your created pages. So where you might see 90 minutes of worthless whining about terrible movies, the creator is getting paid very very well for just fucking around ripping on a movie.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:25 p.m. CST

    Tall_Boy66

    by Toilet_Terror

    I think you should be caged. I don't care if you understand why. Clear enough?

  • April 4, 2010, 10:27 p.m. CST

    Bitchy. Fanboy. Whining. Like a bitch.

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    Look in a mirror sometime Tall_Boy66...or were you trying to be funny?

  • April 4, 2010, 10:30 p.m. CST

    Please...Don't encourage this guy.

    by Mr.Stiggs

    I actually took the time to watch a few of the intial episodes that were dedicated to "The Phantom Menace". The one thought that kept going through my head during that time was "what an incredible waste of time and energy". OH. MY. LORD. Stop whining about a film that is intended for 14 year old boys. It's pathetic and creepy that a grown man would so put forth so much effort in order to tear apart something he claims to dislike. I'm not the biggest fan of the prequels and I do agree with some of his points. But if this guy is such an expert on the nuances of great cinema then why doesn't he MAKE HIS OWN FRIGGIN' MOVIE. He obviously has the time.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:30 p.m. CST

    Lol..the best is when he says...

    by StrokerX

    Sydney Pointyger

  • April 4, 2010, 10:31 p.m. CST

    "So love leads to the dark side..."

    by jimbojones123

    "...but getting fucking pissed doesn't". Genius.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:36 p.m. CST

    I challenge AsimovLives to do a similar review of STAR TREK.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Let's see if he can turn that monotonous, one-note, J.J. Abrams hate-boner of his into something as remotely entertaining as Mr. Plinkett's in-character ramblings.<P>Can he do it? Is he man enough to do it?<P>The challenge is set..and the game is on.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:38 p.m. CST

    Dinotopia should sue The Phantom Menace

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    and whatnot

  • April 4, 2010, 10:38 p.m. CST

    Blood test --- Genius.

    by jimbojones123

  • April 4, 2010, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Why are people so affronted by this?

    by Happyfat73

    I love movies. I love talking about movies. I love talking about why movies work or don't work. Why any self-respecting film geek would want to discourage a good humoured analysis of pop-culture defining films like these is beyond me. Unless, of course, it's taking pot shots at one of your sacred cows. </p> If you don't want to engage in the discussion, then fine, feel free to fuck off and let the rest of us enjoy it for what it is.</p> If you disagree with Plinkett's assesment, also fine, but why not try finding flaws with his arguments, instead of the lame ad hominem attacks? Oh, wait, I forgot.... this is the internet. As you were.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:42 p.m. CST

    If the robot was equipped with a blaster

    by jimbojones123

    KABLAMO! No more Amadala.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:46 p.m. CST

    So damned FUNNY!

    by Tallyrand

    OMG the whole bit with Anakin "courting" Amadala. Pure genius. "Supports Fascist Dictatorship... X!" That whole segment was so original and unexpected. Definitely a worthy sequel to his TPM review.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Sam Jackson

    by Bouncy X

    maybe the "urban market" was a reasoning for hiring him but i do recall hearing he called Lucas and asked for a role because he was a fan of the originals. maybe he just said that in interviews to seem cool but yeah. lol gotta say though i love the part where the female "victim" is watching the movie and complaining. she's pretty much saying what all the fans who dont like this have said but i guess its funny seeing someone who isn't a nerd say it. lol

  • April 4, 2010, 10:51 p.m. CST

    A shape shifter in a disguise!

    by jimbojones123

    This keeps getting better.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Will these reviews be released on Blu-Ray? Lots of CGI for 1080

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • April 4, 2010, 10:56 p.m. CST

    Calling Jango Boba

    by ObiBen

    It's like saying Jonesey instead of Newt. No biggie there. And I think that's what he meant. Besides, english poet William Shatner said: "What's in a name..."

  • April 4, 2010, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Supporters of this guy are worse than prequel supporters.

    by Nickytea

    His "reviews" are barely passable as comedy, and are interpretively and analytically mediocre. Anyone who says this guy has any academic worth "beneath the surface" needs to get a serious dose of real academic analysis. All this man has done is empower armchair critics with quippy and simplistic pieces of "analysis" that amount to almost nothing. If this is what you have to do to get people to give a shit about cinematic analysis, I grieve for future discourse.

  • April 4, 2010, 10:59 p.m. CST

    Well done Mr. Plinkett! ROTS is next!!!

    by Thanos0145

    Only George Lucas's Prequels could make lightsabers uncool.

  • April 4, 2010, 11 p.m. CST

    I love how a talkbacker...

    by serke

    ...questions Plinkett's review for "confusing" Jango and Boba but doesn't bother to mention his confusion of Cuban Missile Crisis/WWI and WWII/French Revolution.

  • April 4, 2010, 11 p.m. CST

    Why doesn'

    by The Bicycle Sharer

  • April 4, 2010, 11:02 p.m. CST

    Nickytea

    by Happyfat73

    So, which of his Plinkett's critical assessments on the plotting, themes and characterisations in the prequels do you think he got wrong?</p> Do you disagree with any of his actual points or are you just another fanboy whose upset at the very existence of these reviews? </p> I've yet to see a single person make a reasoned point about ANY specific aspect that Plinkett has actually got wrong. Speaks volumes.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Meh

    by D.Vader

    Move along... move along.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:05 p.m. CST

    In his next review...

    by Happyfat73

    I hope he addresses the part in the opening battle sequence where the buzz droids are all over Obi Wan's ship. Whenever I see that bit, I find it hard not to shout at the screen for Obi Wan to "USE THE FUCKING FORCE."

  • April 4, 2010, 11:05 p.m. CST

    Why doesn't he make his own movie?

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Um, from the MINIMAL fucking research that I just did - he HAS made his own movies: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1518150/ http://redlettermedia.com/ Now, why don't you go back to sucking on your father's dick since that's obviously all you're capable of doing well consistently? Moron.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Plinkett

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Great review and very funny. Well done, imho.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:07 p.m. CST

    I just recently found TPM review

    by StrokerX

    and think this one is just as funny. I'm glad he keeps the home movie stuff at the end of each segment. Makes it easier to SKIP OVER. I can do with out that. Stick to the funny reviews and i'm in.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Jango = Boba

    by Chief Joseph

    I mean, Jango was just a ripoff of Boba so that George could shoehorn Boba into the storyline. Worse, he now retcons Boba into a literal clone of Jango. I thought it was funny.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:08 p.m. CST

    The Dark Nolan

    by eggers

    I watched 2 minutes of it and shut it off. Nice going though.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:08 p.m. CST

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXp_jyk9Yo4

    by avenger0102

  • April 4, 2010, 11:09 p.m. CST

    Outstanding.

    by VitaminZ

    I didn't think there was any way he'd top his 70 minute TPM review, but this one is just as funny. His part 5 breakdown of how Anakin won over Padme and got her to marry him was incredible. The only people who don't like these reviews are (a) Star Wars fans who can't accept how bad the prequels are or (b) film hipsters who are either too cool to watch the reviews or to admit that this guy breaks down the prequels in a funnier and more incisive way than they ever could or will. These reviews are the best Star Wars related anything since the 80's. (Possible exception is Timothy Zahn's trilogy of novels.)

  • April 4, 2010, 11:10 p.m. CST

    Should be required watching in film school

    by TheDudeinLA

    Just brilliant.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Plinkett's lessons on love...

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    ...are fucking priceless. He absolutely nails the bit about what guys and gals are looking for.<p>1. Is she hot?<p>2. Seriously Bro, how hot is she?<p>And from the endless stream of what girls are looking for, I found this one to be particularly succinct..."He needs to be spontaneous, but only when I'm expecting it."

  • April 4, 2010, 11:13 p.m. CST

    Yeeeeesh that voice is annoying

    by D.Vader

  • April 4, 2010, 11:17 p.m. CST

    I might watch these if not for the fact that...

    by JackLucas

    This fucker's voice is more irritating than ANYTHING in the prequels. That and the fact that he is trying to be clever with his little cut ins about kidnapping big titty lesbians and pizza rolls. I got through about 3 of them as background noise until I couldn't take the voice anymore.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Star Wars Screenname = Hate Plinkett

    by Chief Joseph

    We get it.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:19 p.m. CST

    Simply Brilliant.

    by Captain Happy

  • April 4, 2010, 11:21 p.m. CST

    anakin losing his arm

    by Bouncy X

    Jedi established he had a robotic arm or least a hand, so they had to show that eventually.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Nickytea, obviously you've never...

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    taken any courses in/or are well studied in the history of criticism. Your statement has no academic basis despite using the words "real academic analysis". Plinkett has created art with his own voice and style of critical analysis. Art can be challenging and hard to take, your response verifies the artistic merits of Plinkett's style. Plinkett's work will be discussed more than even the published literary criticisms of Boswell's London Journal 1762-63 (a literary criticism mainstay). Plinkett has had millions of views and has reached a far greater audience than the classics of criticism. Plinkett has become far more published than PHDs who specialized in the critical field. Nickytea, the reality of academia surpasses your narrow view of academia.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:26 p.m. CST

    The part that was about Yoda and Lightsabers

    by magnetoelectric

    That whole segment had me laughing hard like a hysteric. Honestly I dont give a fuck if you've even seen a single star wars in your life, If you can watch all 9 parts of this and not even chuckle once then you dont have a soul. Best easter gift ever.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Nah Chief Joseph

    by D.Vader

    But I knew someone would assume that. The guy just has an annoying voice.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:28 p.m. CST

    The haters on this forum

    by Tallyrand

    argue like kids do in elementary school. This whole website is devoted to what's "cool" about movies & tv and equally to what is not. I can't get my head around the pre-adolescent flaming. Star Wars may be a dead topic to some but at least commend the guy for his completely original and thorough discussion which at the very least reminds us why the original trilogy was so phenomenal. Plus his message about the perilous trend of "spectacle movie making" today. Ugh, whatever. Some people just want to be mad at anything. Probably because they can't create anything.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:33 p.m. CST

    These should be required viewing at any film school

    by SifoDyasJr.

    I don't hate the prequels, but these first two reviews are not only hilarious, but they are also absolutely NAILING the overall reasons why they don't work as well as the original movies: no main protagonist to connect with, information being said not shown, etc. etc. This is a master class in screenwriting disguised as comedy.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Annoying Voice!?

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

    hahaha, that voice is one of the thing that makes these funny as shit. Those attacks seem like the last kicks of a drowning man. ACCEPT THE PREQUELS SUCK ASS.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:34 p.m. CST

    He's doing the voice on purpose, fellas.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    It's all part of the cellar dwellar, uber-nerd, fanboy-thing he's goofing on. Do you not know this?

  • April 4, 2010, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Yes we know... well I do anyway

    by D.Vader

    Dunno if the others who don't like his voice either have picked up on it, but its easy to tell its a joke. <p> Still annoying though. Like Gilbert Godfied, its all an act too, but in the end, still annoying.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:37 p.m. CST

    VitaminZ

    by Sasson

    "The only people who don't like these reviews are (a) Star Wars fans who can't accept how bad the prequels are or (b) film hipsters who are either too cool to watch the reviews or to admit that this guy breaks down the prequels in a funnier and more incisive way than they ever could or will. These reviews are the best Star Wars related anything since the 80's. (Possible exception is Timothy Zahn's trilogy of novels.)" The majority of the people who do not like these reviews are people like me who couldn't give a fuck one way or the other about the prequels. I still love the originals, but I watched the prequels once and don't feel the need to do so again. Personally, I think that it is fucked up that someone is so obsessed with films that were essentially for kids--and people who read Star Wars books.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:39 p.m. CST

    Tallyrand ,thats a good point

    by magnetoelectric

    The idea that you could theoretically do an identical dissection of other films like LOTR and TDK doesn't apply. You need the original trilogy here to compare it to. Thats what makes it work. Empire will turn 30 this May , people desperately need a reminder of what made it phenomenal.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:41 p.m. CST

    The voice

    by Chief Joseph

    just makes it funnier when he actually hits on a deep topic. I say give it a chance. I thought it was weird at first too, but somehow it works.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:41 p.m. CST

    Sasson

    by Happyfat73

    Are you sure these are just films for kids? Plinkett touches on this in his review.... what kid wants to watch films about trade disputes?

  • April 4, 2010, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Yes, he is doing a nerd voice...

    by JackLucas

    I get it. It's very clever. Glad to see it's working out for him with most. Yes, the prequels suck on multiple levels. Agreed. Anyone still fighting that at this point, I don't know what to say. And anyone who thinks that my screen name has anything to do with ol' Georgy boy, I invite you to watch The Fisher King. I assure you it is a much better way to spend an hour and change than watching these videos.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:54 p.m. CST

    This guy is such a retarded whiner...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Apparently he is just completely lost every time he sees a movie and has no clue what is going on. Then he goes on YouTube and blames the movie!</p><p>Who said Obi-Wan was saying that the time period of AOTC was when they were "good friends"? Seems like that was more during the Clone Wars AS ILLUSTRATED in the films! </p><p>Apparently he thinks The Last Starfighter was a better film because it was laced with exposition! Christ on a crutch! </p><p>The internet is full of idiot douchbags, I just don't understand why this guy and his extra-lame serial killer schtick has fans. You guys did see his completely retarded Avatar review right?

  • April 4, 2010, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Plinkett CONTRADICTS himself endlessly!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    He points out how Han and Luke first don't like each other but grow closer over time as they keep saving each other, etc.....yet somehow fails to notice that's exactly what happens between Anakin and Obi-Wan! It's just stupid!

  • April 4, 2010, 11:57 p.m. CST

    This guy is such a fool I just can't stand it!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    This review is all kinds of wrong! Love isn't forbidden you silly bastard, ATTACHMENT is! That's not stupid, that's DAOISM! He says it's never addressed but I guess he missed the whole speech Anakin gave Padme when he was explaining it to her! He obviously knows about that speech since his review almost entirely consists of edited footage from the movie. So he clearly just ignored it so he could make a point that doesn't exist!</p><p>Raise your hand if you were confused by what was happening in any of the sequels. Yeah, exactly. 5 year old little kids could follow it fine but this moron kept needing a character to stop everything with reams of exposition.</p><p>This jerkoff can't even tell the difference between Jango Fett and Boba Fett but he's going to tell us all how to make a $650M grossing movie better? Judging by his bizarre "killing women is funny" crap, I don't think Lucas has anything to worry about.

  • April 4, 2010, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Insightful? PBBBBBBT!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    If someone points to a blue cube and says it's red.....why do so many people say "Oh dude, that was perfect because that cube is SO red!"</p><p>I'm not saying some of it isn't a little funny. And he does catch little details I've... See More missed before like the opening scroll on episode 1 calling Obi-Wan a Jedi Knight and the dead chick showing up again in Padme's room. Those are interesting little gaffes, but his hours-long hateful diatribes based on crap he's either making up, or ignoring, or just being too stupid to understand needs to be answered.</p><p>All I'm saying is that there's plenty that is ACTUALLY wrong with the prequels, there's no reason to make shit up just to make nonsensical jokes. The unfortunate thing is that</p><p>people who can't think for themselves come away thinking what he says in these reviews is actually true.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:01 a.m. CST

    'The voice'

    by Burgundy82

    It's a Buffalo Bill impression, and a good one at that.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:02 a.m. CST

    The attachment thing in particular really bothers me.

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    It goes all the way back to A New Hope. Ben allows himself to die because he can see Luke's attachment is going to get everyone killed.</p><p>Yoda and Ben warn Luke in Empire not to go to Bespin because his attachment to his friends will "destroy all for which they have fought". Later on, Luke's attachment to Leia "betrays" her existence to Vader.</p><p>No other tale in history has better described this element of doaism better than the Star Wars mythos. That's not a failing, it's a fucking TRIUMPH! It's showing that TRUE heroism is not putting one or two people ahead of yourself, it's championing an ideal. THAT'S what being a Jedi is and the fact that so many people just completely miss that when it plays out so beautifully kinda irks me. Making a joke out of the fact that most people are fucking mouth-breathers and don't to get it and saying that's somehow the films' fault just makes it worse.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Revenge of Fett

    by Happyfat73

    Are you being wilfully obtuse, or do you actually believe the shit you are typing?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:04 a.m. CST

    The "disguise"

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I wouldn't call that little veil thing "a disguise" anymore than I would say that about what arab women wear. And we're not sure how her shapeshifting works. Maybe she can only be one of those two faces. That's all we saw her do. This is a problem of assuming something you shouldn't, applying it to OUR universe, and calling it a loophole.</p><p>Why did Jango hire her? Maybe he was training her. Maybe he was smart enough to not want to go up against Jedi! Is this really that vexing a problem? Strange how nobody has mentioned it in all these years until now if it is don't you think?</p><p>Padme's double was part of her SECURITY TEAM! Because she missed the explosive device, Amidala lost an extremely valuable ship probably loaded with all kinds of belongings, not to mention staff! I'd apologize too!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:04 a.m. CST

    I have a feeling that after the prequel trilogy...

    by Burgundy82

    Indy 4 is on deck.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:04 a.m. CST

    Revenge of Fett

    by Chief Joseph

    Star Wars Screenname = You hate it. WE GET IT.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:05 a.m. CST

    "I love empire so much I fuck it"

    by heavenlykid

    Damned straight.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:07 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_OF_FETT

    by Burgundy82

    "...hours-long hateful diatribes based on crap he's either making up, or ignoring, or just being too stupid to understand needs to be answered." Whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. If there's ANYONE too stupid to understand something here...

  • April 5, 2010, 12:07 a.m. CST

    Padme falling for Anakin

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    As for why women fall for bad boys, I'd take that up with mother nature and not George Lucas.</p><p>Regarding the younglings using lightsabers, did he miss the part about how these kids are force users in training with the master of all master Jedi? Again, it's extrapolating something, applying it to kids you see at the mall, and coming to a false conclusion. That's not a fault with the movie, that's a fault with you and anyone else who buys into this drivel. Besides, Lucas goes into detail in the special features that is was really difficult working with those kids on the set. That's why some had to have their heads digitally replaced. He did the best he could with what he had. Would you prefer that the kids were entirely digital so they hold the lightsabers properly?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:08 a.m. CST

    Sasson

    by VitaminZ

    So WHY do you "hate" these reviews if you "couldn't give a fuck either way"? That's a little odd. Even if you liked the prequels, the way this guy breaks them down and shows how they go against basic film-making and storytelling is hilarious. What specifically didn't you like? Or are you just above the idea of laughing when someone makes a classic parody/review of a bad movie?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:08 a.m. CST

    If Jedi are supposed to be celibate,

    by Chief Joseph

    Shouldn't Luke have been asking all kinds of questions when told his father was a Jedi by Obi-Wan? That's like finding out your father is the Pope.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:10 a.m. CST

    What Plinkett really nails...

    by Happyfat73

    Is the implausibility of the "love story" between Padme and Anakin. Seriously, does anyone who has ever been in a relationship find any emotional honesty there? They fall in love because the plot demands it, without ever showing the audience anything that might cause a spark of feelings between them. Just two beautiful people saying pretty lines that mean nothing.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:12 a.m. CST

    An example of mixing bumbly comedy with gorey death...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    That would be Lord of the Rings. Remember Pippin stumbling around always getting them into trouble and on the lookout for weed like he was Shaggy from fucking Scooby Doo? Yeah. But somehow the juxtaposition of Jar Jar with a FAR less gorey and dark film somehow crosses some invisible line?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:12 a.m. CST

    "women fall for bad boys"

    by Burgundy82

    THAT's the reasoning you use to justify their relationship. Calling Anakin Skywalker as played by Hayden Chrstensen, as written by George Lucas, a "bad boy." Fascinating.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:12 a.m. CST

    Apologist (noun)

    by Happyfat73

    See: Revenge of Fett.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:14 a.m. CST

    Let me give you a specific example:

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Plinkett says that as soon as Darth Tyrannus says there is a Sith manipulating the Senate, the Jedi should order blood tests of all Senate members. That is completely insane.</p><p>Does it occur to you guys that the Jedi overreacting to this news was EXACTLY his plan? Why else would he tell them that? I mean, they got this information from A SITH! Why should they believe him? Ordering blood tests really WOULD make them stupid.</p><p>The Jedi know they are being sidelined by Palpatine and his growing constituency in the Senate. Would ordering blood test for thousands of Senators help or hurt their cause? How many YEARS would that even take to do? It's not like they could wave a magic wand, yet Plinkett shows a scene from Star Trek between 3 people to show how easy it would be, as if that's remotely the same thing.</p><p>And what exactly are the Jedi supposed to do with these results assuming for a moment they could actually get them in a timely fashion? Just because there are Senate members with high midiclorian levels doesn't make them Sith! There will probably be hundreds of them. Are the jedi supposed to lock them all up just in case? Yeah, that won't turn the Senate against them!</p><p>See how these criticisms are extremely poorly thought out and merely amount to unneccesarry mudslinging? THAT'S my point.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:15 a.m. CST

    Anakin Skywalker, ladies and gentlemen

    by Burgundy82

    He's not a whiny, self-absorbed creepshow—he's James Dean with a rat-tail! He's Brando with an aversion to sand!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:16 a.m. CST

    Another point he pounds on...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    The idea that the Jedi are jerks or whatever. Well, Lucas has talked extensively about the arrogance of the Jedi and that it was the trait that brought them down. This is illustrated several times in the movie like when Mace says "If the Sith had come back we would have known about it" or "Duku was once a Jedi, he couldn't assassinate some one. It's not in his nature." Or the librarian saying "If it's not in the archive, then it doesn't exist.". Because the Jedi have such strict beliefs in their superiority, it took a youngling to point out the obvious. If the Jedi had a better capacity to think outside the box, they could have averted this whole mess.</p><p>They had grown so cold and insensative that a relatively untrained recruit like Anakin was easy prey for Palpatine's plans because he is so hot blooded and has trouble assimilating to the serene values of the Jedi.</p><p>He ALMOST makes a point with Anakin going back to Naboo with Amidala, but again, this is a fantasy. It's a thematic statement that she is accepting Anakin into her sphere of security. She is incorporating him into what she assigns most valuable. He expresses a longing to be a part of her world. This is felt even more in the deleted scenes from Naboo. So although Amidala sees trouble ahead, she's willing to take that chance, not because he's cute as Plinkett shallowly muses, but because they are kindred spirits. She reminds him of his mother, the love he has lost. He reminds her of the action and danger she craves.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:16 a.m. CST

    If you hate this so much,

    by Chief Joseph

    make your own video review. And I'm not being rhetorical; if you can make one even half as good as his I'd really love to watch it.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:16 a.m. CST

    Chief Joseph ,No

    by magnetoelectric

    When Luke is hangin out in Obi Wans house its the first time he's even heard of the Force. WTF does Luke know about Jedi?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:20 a.m. CST

    OK, I just watched all 9 parts

    by california_mtz

    I really dug Mr. Plinkett’s TPM review and really found myself thinking, “Man, I wish Lucas would give this guy a crack at editing a ‘Special Edition’ of TPM so that movie wouldn’t be such a god awful abomination. However, with this review, it felt like Mr. Plinkett was reaching a lot more and, worse yet, spent most of his time constructing straw men then knocking them down instead of providing the brilliant critique that he did previously. While there are many valid criticisms within his AotC review, I wanted to respond to some of his comments that I didn’t agree with:<p> 1. Hegelian Dialectic – As far as I know, this has never been the basis of any plot in any movie. I think it’s really cool that George Lucas based the plot arc of the prequels on the problem-solution-reaction that Hegel philosophized about. Why hasn’t anyone in any review ever talked about GL’s use of this concept as a plot device and what it means? <p> 2. Senator Amadala can’t date Anikan the Jedi-in-training because everyone in that society knows that Jedi’s have to renounce personal relationships. If she was discovered to be dating a Jedi, it would be scandalous and end her political appointment. <p> 3. Many religious orders, Buddist monks and priests (Catholic & Hindu) require one to forego personal relationships under the belief that if you give up something, the Universe (God, whatever) will balance out the sacrifice by giving you something in return, enlightenment. Also, the less grounded one is in the physical plane, as in partaking in physical relationships, the more grounded one is in a cosmic plane. This is simple, basic Eastern Philosophy 101. You’ve seen the Dali Lama on TV, he doesn’t act like a robot. He has emotions and practices unconditional love and avoids anger and frustration. <p> 4. The flying droid with the assassin bugs was required because the windows have shields on them similar to the spaceships - just like in every movie and TV show ever, spaceships can all take direct hits as long as shields are up. That’s why the flying droid had to cut the glass rather than shoot and break it – the shields would sense and deflect missiles and weapons but not small, slow moving droids. And who’s to say that there wasn’t a weapons defense system in the room? That’s why the assassin had to resort to the bugs. Not everything has to be explained in painstaking detail in every scene! It would be impossible to get through a sci-fi movie if every scene had to have exposition to explain every technology and background of every object! That’s why some level of figuring it out on your own helps, which you can’t do if you’re too busy thinking, “This movie’s stupid! THAT doesn’t make any sense! This sucks! Sarcasm rules!” <p> 5. Boba Fett didn’t directly assassinate Amidala because in a high level conspiracy, the conspirators always try to put as much distance between them and the people who carry out the assassination plot as possible. <p> 6. The fact that Obi-wan jumped after the assassin droid isn’t that illogical. He thought he was leaving Anikan behind to protect Padme and the assassin droid could have provided valuable clues as to who the assassin was. Jumping after it wasn’t that dangerous since Obi-wan would be able to gauge the distance and would be familiar with how far he could jump. In terms of the Jedi not fearing falling, Luke in ESB exhibited hyper strength and anti-gravity ability when he jumped out of the carbonite chamber and when he falls in cloud city after he had his hand cut off. This after he was only given very brief training by Yoda and he received this training after he had reached adulthood. Obi-wan, who presumably was trained as a Jedi from a young age in an intensive program by the Jedi council, would have far more control over gravity and thus would not fear jumping a short distance out a window to a hovering droid. Also, who’s to say that the flying droid isn’t a common model that Obi-wan was familiar with and knew it could hold his weight? <p> Again, I’m only writing about the criticisms that I don’t agree with. Most of Plinkett’s comments are spot on and he seems to hit his stride on about Part 5 or so and I can’t really argue with anything he says, nor would I want to. I’m too tired of that ubiquitous sardonic mindset and its lesser cousin, sarcasm to argue just to argue. Plinkett’s strength really seems to be his insights into how audiences respond to movie elements; in other words, how to make a great movie. His insights on how to create character, tension, and feeling, should become standard cannon at film schools everywhere. Man, I wish Lucas would have brought this guy in as a consultant on the prequels.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:20 a.m. CST

    Also, C-3PO

    by Chief Joseph

    I never understood why his appearance changed in each prequel. Except to sell new action figures, I guess. <br> BTW EdRyder, that is a good point. I still feel like the celibacy thing came out of nowhere in ep2.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:22 a.m. CST

    Who said Jedi were celibate?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Where does it say that ANYWHERE in Star Wars lore? AGAIN, you are confusing attachment with sex.</p><p>YOU DON'T GET IT!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:26 a.m. CST

    california_mtz

    by Happyfat73

    Regarding point 4... the window shielding was too tough to shoot through, yet Obi Wan managed to jump through it like it was sugar glass. Nice.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:26 a.m. CST

    Bwahahahaha!

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Revenge of Shitt is defending the prequel trilogy and attacking the review! LOL! You keep right on defending that fantastically logical and entertaining prequel trilogy, Shitt. Hey, Shitt, explain how great lil' Anakin was and tell me some more 'bout them there midichlorians and the logic of taking children to war zones, the disappearing blockade, and warning the Naboo about an invasion by riding in with the invading fleet! LOFL!<p>Dude, my cousin was totally trying to warn us about the terrorist attacks on 9/11 by riding in on the flight with the terrorists! Ohs, noes!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:27 a.m. CST

    california_mtz

    by Chief Joseph

    "Also, the less grounded one is in the physical plane, as in partaking in physical relationships, the more grounded one is in a cosmic plane."<br> That would make most of AICN talbackers enlightened beings. Zing!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:27 a.m. CST

    Bwahahahaha!

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Revenge of Shitt is defending the prequel trilogy and attacking the review! LOL! You keep right on defending that fantastically logical and entertaining prequel trilogy, Shitt. Hey, Shitt, explain how great lil' Anakin was and tell me some more 'bout them there midichlorians and the logic of taking children to war zones, the disappearing blockade, and warning the Naboo about an invasion by riding in with the invading fleet! LOFL!<p>Dude, my cousin was totally trying to warn us about the terrorist attacks on 9/11 by riding in on the flight with the terrorists! Ohs, noes!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:27 a.m. CST

    Bwahahahaha!

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Revenge of Shitt is defending the prequel trilogy and attacking the review! LOL! You keep right on defending that fantastically logical and entertaining prequel trilogy, Shitt. Hey, Shitt, explain how great lil' Anakin was and tell me some more 'bout them there midichlorians and the logic of taking children to war zones, the disappearing blockade, and warning the Naboo about an invasion by riding in with the invading fleet! LOFL!<p>Dude, my cousin was totally trying to warn us about the terrorist attacks on 9/11 by riding in on the flight with the terrorists! Ohs, noes!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:27 a.m. CST

    Just finished it.

    by billypilgrimisunstuck

    God, it makes me so sad that these movies exist.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:29 a.m. CST

    Oops! Sorry 'bout triple post

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    I'm just that amazed about the defense of The Phantom Menace. (Actually having 404 error probs, but we'll go with amazement. Jaw-dropping, laugh out loud amazement.)

  • April 5, 2010, 12:31 a.m. CST

    Taking children into warzones?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Do you understand the concept of PADAWAN LEARNER? A Jedi's life is dangerous. How is a Padawan supposed to learn anything if you drop him off at daycare every time something bad might happen?</p><p>And did you somehow miss the part where Qui-Gon put him in an armored, weaponized fighter as soon as they arrived?</p><p>As far as having a blockade fleet automatically meaning an invasion is imminant, go read up on the Cuban Missle Crisis, then get back to me.</p><p>Fucking LEMMINGS around here!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:32 a.m. CST

    wasting my internet space

    by evillejon711

    please stop wasting out time with this witless dribble.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:33 a.m. CST

    I love doing the Plinkett voice

    by jimbojones123

    Whenever I want to sound depressingly defeated. It works really well at work and is going through my mind...right now...as I write this. <p> So for those that don't like the voice... I can never feel empathy towards you in regards to your situation. For me, the voice is that of the fan that left TPM saying -- that was NOT Star Wars -- I don't know what it was or why the pieces moved the way they did -- but not it was NOT Star Wars. <p> The voice is the same voice of the defeated fan that left AOTC saying -- There were some Star Wars stuff going on -- but why were the good guys and bad guys on the same team. Jedi working with Stormtroopers when they knew the Stormtroopers were a result of VERY DIRTY dealings is INSANE! <P> ROTS reaction - SO THAT IS HOW THEY GOT TO ANH??? REALLY??? THAT IS IT FOR STAR WARS FOREVER??? <P> Again, the beat down Plinkett voice works perfectly for all these situations. Would it have been better as a John Cleese rip off, or Keanu, or Anthony Daniels? No, the Plinkett voice is flawless. Period.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:35 a.m. CST

    This is the kind of shit that makes fanboys look gay...

    by Mr. Moe

    Plinkett's reviews = Lame fan boy bitching at its worse. This guy sucks ass.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Best line ever...

    by Happyfat73

    "They've made a magic potion that makes you forget about The Phantom Menace when you drink it. It's called beach."

  • April 5, 2010, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Quint, I like how you ASSume that everyone will fall in like she

    by Atomica

    Just because you hate them doesn't mean everyone else should. I contend that they DO having a goddamned place in the Star Wars Universe and that they are good films, and don't deserve the trash talking bullshit and grade-school level insults that get hurled their way. Everyone speaks about Plinkett as if he's the voice of the Geek culture who was raped by Lucas. He represents an already extremely vocal group of Prequel-haters who want to shit on every decision that Lucas made post-Empire. Every aspect of the prequels can be neatly tied into the Original Trilogy and when douchebags try to state incorrectly that aspects such as the similarities between Empire and AoC are copying, it simply proves the ridiculousness of the arguements. The funny thing is that a critically minded fool sees things in the film that are intentional, yet assumes they are "Rip-Offs" or the work of a Hack. Does this moron truly not comprehend that the constant imagery, storyline and aesthetic themes in Attack in the Clones were intentionally and inherently reflective of Empire? Does it not matter that Lucas stated that it would be this way throughout the production of the film?<br> Look. I know that most old school fans don't like the prequels. I'm one of the rare people who, Grew up watching the OT in the theater, saw all the prequels and loves them. But dude.... The hate? Fuck man...it's been EIGHT goddamned years. Get. The. Fuck. Over. It. You. Whiny. Ass. Bitch-Boys.<br> So you don't consider the prequels the "real" Star Wars? Great. Don't fucking watch them. But Shut the Fuck Up about it already.<br> Why you posted these, cough, "intelligent" critiques of Attack of the Clones, I'll never get. It's like you WANT to incite flaming.<br> I generally love your Articles Quint. Hell, I generally agree with your Reviews. But this was fucking ridiculous.<br>

  • April 5, 2010, 12:36 a.m. CST

    imminent.

    by billypilgrimisunstuck

    yep

  • April 5, 2010, 12:38 a.m. CST

    Wow Atomica.

    by Happyfat73

  • April 5, 2010, 12:38 a.m. CST

    AINT IT SHITTY NEWS

    by Gungan Slayer

    seriously, why the fuck even waste your time writing a post about this douchebag? His shit's not even funny, rather it comes across pathetic and sad, and I can't imagine what sort of lame ass bitch would sit and watch any of his videos...

  • April 5, 2010, 12:42 a.m. CST

    LOL! Padawan learner!

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Absolutely. Padawan learner! If a Jedi's life is danger and a padawan is supposed to learn things by participating, why is it, again, that Qui(te)-Gon(e) put him in an armored, weaponized fighter instead of taking him into the "danger" to "learn something?" LOL!<p>Like in college, I totally remember all my profs sticking me in coat closets for both "safety" and "learning" while they abandoned me to my "safe learning" and went on with whatever the fuck it was they wanted to do. Quite zen, this idea of danger and learning away from the teacher in a safe, armored weaponized fighter. Revenge, you are the hilarious. Keep up the good work. Gimme some stuff like "padawan learner" in a "dangerous life" to "learn" while left alone in an armored weaponized fighter! Awesome.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:43 a.m. CST

    I dunno, Gungan Slayer

    by Happyfat73

    Why did YOU waste YOUR time writing a post about this douchebag? And if you haven't watched any of his videos, then how do you know what's in them?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:44 a.m. CST

    Don't like 'em?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Don't watch 'em. Phantom Menace came out, what 11 fucking years ago? And you're STILL bleeding from the anus about it? Stop that shit up and MOVE THE FUCK ON ALREADY!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:44 a.m. CST

    Good stuff

    by disfigurehead

  • April 5, 2010, 12:45 a.m. CST

    I'm so fucking in love with the girl being held hostage.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    "Who the fuck are these people?" "What the fuck is that?" "Gees, it's just a movie, mister." I am head over heels here.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:47 a.m. CST

    "Don't like 'em? Don't watch 'em"

    by Chief Joseph

    Oh, the irony.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:47 a.m. CST

    Bicycle fucker...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    You are one dumb mother fucker, you know that? They needed to secure the palace. Anakin had no training at that point. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE, you're just a thick-skulled son of a coke whore who refuses to accept logic.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:47 a.m. CST

    Part 5 is almost as good as "Annie Hall."

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Seriously, that segment was one of the funniest, most insightful, and surprisingly artistic examinations of the do's and don't's of dating that I've ever seen. I love this crazy, sick motherfucker.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:49 a.m. CST

    I don't know what's funnier...

    by Happyfat73

    Revenge of Fett telling people not to watch things they don't like, or Revenge of Fett holding up The Phantom Menace as a paragon of logic.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:50 a.m. CST

    MOVE THE FUCK ON ALREADY!

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    LOL! Bwahahahahaha! Talk about "bleeding from the anus!" Ah, fun-nay!<p>Hey, Revenge of Shit, I gotta crazy notion for you! What if - now, just bear with me here, but - what if, just what if someone "don't like 'em," "don't watch 'em," but decides to spread the word about how really shitty they are and why they are so very, very stupid ("padawan learner" in "danger" BUT in "armored, weaponized fighter" while "teacher" who's teaching "danger" runs off to pursue own agenda)! How 'bout that, huh? Just, you know, what if.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:51 a.m. CST

    Excellent stuff

    by So What?

    these reviews are funny and spot on. The prequels are abominations. I particularly liked the Yoda sequence at the end where he is dismayed at Lucas' contradictions.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:52 a.m. CST

    wow

    by bluebottle

    i think the guy is a genius. i'll never understand the amount of hate that comes out on these boards, but i'll always be amused by it. enjoy your lives guys... somehow i feel plinkett may have touched a weird nerve with some of you... basement much?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:52 a.m. CST

    Happyfat73, what's funny to me...

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Is Revenge suggesting that if one doesn't like something that one not watch it, BUT not taking his own advice and reading this thread and arguing about The Phantom Dumbass as a paragon of logic. Only someone who'd defend that prequel trilogy would be so logical as to suggest YOU not watch something if you don't like it, but continue to do that very thing himself. Too, too, too, too funny.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:52 a.m. CST

    Ummm....paragon of logic?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Oh...that's right...you're fucking stupid. I forgot. I said THAT 20 seconds of film makes sense. I haven't said the whole film is flawless. In fact I'm pretty sure I said just a few minutes ago "There's plenty wrong with the prequels, you don't have to make shit up." Sorry, did that exceed your short-term memory? Do you read 2 sentences then think "I want a cookie"?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:53 a.m. CST

    Point 4: Windows having shields

    by california_mtz

    I don't think it's illogical to assume that a window could be shielded from an energy discharge but be physically vulnerable. It would be like a starship having it's shields up but a smaller ship able to dock with it. A better counter is that if Obi-wan could jump through the window then why didn't the flying droid just crash through the window?<p>But, I don't think it's reaching to consider that a technologically advanced building would be able to sense a fast-moving object on a collision course with it and have defenses. That's why the 'stealth' approach worked best for this assassination attempt.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:54 a.m. CST

    Bicycle fucker,

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I think you need to slap yourself, your brain is skipping. I'd be happy to oblige but you might not recover.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:55 a.m. CST

    Ah, Mr Lucas must love..

    by MajorFrontbum

    ..all of this free publicity, keeping the words "STAR WARS" out there in the public eye, no matter which side of the fence you stand on. Lucas doesn't have to lift a finger in order to promote his franchise, legions of fans AND haters are there to do it for him. Lucas owns you all, fuckers! Bring on the Episode III review and while the old cunt is at it, he may as well do the old movies, plus the TV shows after all, any publicity is good publicity! Yes, that's right!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:55 a.m. CST

    Atomica

    by Quint

    It's absolutely reasonable to have a dissenting opinion, either positive or negative. The magic of the movies is that every individual takes his or her own unique life into every movie they see, so no one, if they agree, ever sees a movie the exact same way.<BR><BR>I never said everybody should ignore the prequels, but my choice is they are not part of the Universe. They're in the back of my mind when watching the originals, of course, but I follow your advice and just don't watch them.<BR><BR>I do take objection to the "get over it already" argument. I guess I could say the same thing to someone who loves the movie, right? "What, you love that movie? Shut up about that, it's old news! Move on!"<BR><BR>I think Lucas screwed the pooch on the prequels, but I haven't lost all faith in him. I just don't think he really cares, which is totally his prerogative as the creator of the films. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:56 a.m. CST

    DUUUUUH, he said LEARNER HUR HUR HUR!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    AND DEN DA TEACHEDR IN THE ARMORED.....DEEEEER. BUT DUH ARMOR! HUR HUR HUR! I CAN'T ACTUALLY REFUTE ANYTHING YOU SAY SO I'LL JUST LAUGH INSTEAD! DUUUUUUH

  • April 5, 2010, 12:56 a.m. CST

    california_mtz

    by Happyfat73

    I appreciate your point, but if one has to think up a whole bunch of "what ifs" in order to justify a plot point, it usually means the filmmaker has failed. That is the very essence of apologism.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:01 a.m. CST

    What ifs? Get out of here.

    by LordEnigma

    This movie remains one of the most misunderstood films of this century. If you think about it, if you really think about it, then maybe you'll get it. If not, bugger off, and fuck this British douchebag. He lacks the ability to understand photosynthesis let alone a fucking movie.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:01 a.m. CST

    I'm seriously baffled

    by Chief Joseph

    that people are _enraged_ by this guy's YouTube vids. There are internet memes that I think are stupid, but I don't get enraged by them.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:01 a.m. CST

    But seriously, if you're going to nitpick fantasy films...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    You can do that with EVERY SINGLE ONE! name one that can't be completely destroyed with nitpicks. I think I've already demonstrqated that LOTR is not immune. Don't get me started on the logic of having a giant drain in the base of your fortifying wall!

  • April 5, 2010, 1:02 a.m. CST

    Revenge, I am indeed a "mother" fucker

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    I tore your mom's asshole up last night. Made her go ass-to-mouth while you were jerking off to The Phantom Menace downstairs. Although, to be honest, I'm not the SON of a coke whore. I am myself a coke whore. That's what your mom gives me when I blow my load in her mouth - a bag of coke. Honestly, nobody WANTS to fuck your mom (just ask your dad), but I do it 'cause I'm addict and I need the drugs.<p>But, by the way, dude, stroking that tiny little thing you call your "light saber" (more like a "light butter knife") and calling yourself a jedi while freeze-framing on Jar Jar and yelling "meesa gonna cum in your mouth" is just a little creepy. 'Kay?<p>P.S. One more time. For the cheap seats. Jedi's (even young ones, apparently) lead dangerous lives and need training and that's why Anakin was there (see your prior defense), but he was put into a fighter for "protection" (though he needed to live a "dangerous" life and "learn" where "something bad might happen") but NOW he's untrained and needs to be left in "safety" (a hangar in a palace under siege by FRIKKIN' LASER BEAMS in a war zone)! Which is it now? I don't understand. Is Anaking "untrained" and needing safety or a potential jedi knight who lives a life of danger and learning where something bad might happen?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:02 a.m. CST

    I'm not enraged, I think they're harmlessly stupid too

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    But the brainless morons who hold them up high as some sort of religious experience make my eye twitch.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:03 a.m. CST

    It took me a while to realise the prequels are shit...

    by Happyfat73

    When they first came out, I was blinded by nostalgia. I tried to convince myself that they were good, even though, in my heart, I knew I was thoroughly unengaged on any kind of emotional level.</p> It actually took multiple viewings and a touch of honesty with myself to acknowledge that, not only are the films a disappointing followup to a beloved series... but they are simply awful examples of storytelling and filmmaking.</p> I think I can still enjoy the prequels on some mindless pavlovian level that responds to moving colour and noise, but they fail on any deeper and honest examination.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:04 a.m. CST

    So this guy nails the movies 100%...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    But doesn't know the difference between Boba Fett and Jango Fett?</p><p>Anyone care to explain that to me?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:06 a.m. CST

    Hold on. I am supposed to take that voice seriously?

    by LordEnigma

    On behalf of my mother, my father, and my sister; FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, AND FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

  • April 5, 2010, 1:06 a.m. CST

    Hey, Revenge, don't like this thread?

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Don't read it. This thread started, what, four hours and fifteen fucking minutes ago? And you're STILL bleeding from the anus about it? Stop that shit up and MOVE THE FUCK ON ALREADY!<p>LOL! Your mom wanted to say "hi" but I don't let her talk with two dicks in her mouth and one in her ass!

  • April 5, 2010, 1:08 a.m. CST

    revenge of fett

    by mr teaspoon

    he knows.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Revenge of Fett

    by Happyfat73

    Yes, you can nitpick pretty much any fantasy movie. However, Plinkett's reviews are not nitpicks (mostly - there's a bit of nitpicking going on). They show systemic failure at the most fundamental levels of characterisation.</p> And, for me, characterisation is why the prequels collapse whereas other fantasy works can survive nitpickery.</p> Lord of the Rings has characters. The OT has characters. The Prequels have characters-as-devices who do little more than advance the plot.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Revenge, '[s]o this guy nails the movies 100%..."

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    "But doesn't know the difference between Boba Fett and Jango Fett?"<p>"Anyone care to explain that to me?"<p>Okay, I'll give it a shot. Two words: "padawan learner."<p>That seems to explain everything else, right?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:09 a.m. CST

    seatless bicycle...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    i think you need to pick an argument. Are you crying because Anakin was brought to a war zone (your first objection because it was gift wrapped and handed to you. You aren't actually intelligent enough to tie your own shoes let alone come up with your own critique), or that he couldn't learn nuthin while safel locked ina fighter? See how those two things don't go together?</p><p>As I SAID while you were too busy laughing at the drool dripping down your chin, Anakin was there to learn, but Qui-Gon thought it was too dangerous FOR THE MOMENT because he had not been trained, so FOR THE MOMENT he was locked in a protected area until the palace could be secured. if you insist on carrying on with your belching diatribe, try answering THIS PECIFIC POINT instead of just parroting more bullshit and laughing at your own filling diaper hysterically.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:09 a.m. CST

    Boba and Jango Fett confusion

    by Happyfat73

    You'll find that was an intentional joke that you just didn't get.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:10 a.m. CST

    I think a lot of us tried to like them.

    by Chief Joseph

    I hear that all the time. People saying they came out of the theaters stunned, like they couldn't process what had just happened. They tried to convince themselves it was good, etc.<br> I knew something was wrong when I saw all the toy spaceships in the stores and had absolutely no desire to buy them.<br> Some friends of mine have sworn off Star Wars altogether, but I think that is also foolish. I just try to ignore the stuff I didn't like like Quint said.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:10 a.m. CST

    Happyfat73

    by california_mtz

    I'll agree with you that that's a great definition of what an apologist is. I'll also concede that all the assumptions about shields and defense mechanisms take the debate really, really close to that line, but it's close enough that I'm not sure which side the line it falls on.<p>On a side note, I appreciate the dude's voice. it reminds me of the "Kissel" character from the Jerky Boys, which I loved. I think the point is that if even a seemingly stupid moron, as the voice evidences, can grasp these basic movie-making concepts, why didn't Lucas?<p>Am I the only one who was at least slightly impressed by Lucas' reference to the Hegelian dialect plot by the Emperor throughout the prequels? Isn't that at least worthy of some discussion?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:12 a.m. CST

    Seatless Bicycle..

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    That's about what I expected from your barfing fuckhole.</p><p>DUUUUUUH! HE SED DA LEARNER HUR HUR HUR!</p><p>As I quite prophetically pointed out just a few moments ago....that's the limit of your discussion skills. Does somebody throw you a fish everytime you say that?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:13 a.m. CST

    Attack of the Clones is by far the worst of the bunch

    by slappy jones

    By a mile. Is there even one good moment in it?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:13 a.m. CST

    Mybe the whole eiew is an inentional joke

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    That none of you got.....you know, because it doesn't mjake any sense. Maybe he's laughing his ass off at what stupid fucking lemmings you all are.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:13 a.m. CST

    I personally like the prequels a lot.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    They are entertaining as Hell. But these reviews are terrific, as well. The character of Mr. Plinkett is funny and original and his criticisms of the PT are fairly valid. I just don't get why people like Revenge_of_Fett need complete solidarity with their opinions to appreciate something. There is duality in all entertainment, hence my love of this hilarious reviews and my love of watching the prequels. It's just a matter of taste, dude. Smoke a bowl and calm the fuck down. Please.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:13 a.m. CST

    Happyfat73, re: nostalgia, etc.

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    At least you figured it out, right? Gotta say, I was pretty quick on the uptake. Saw TPM at a midnight showing the night it premiered. Literally, fell asleep in theater and had to be woken up. My brother (who was high) but watched every second was like "what the fuck was that shit!"<p>Went with my wife to see AOTC at a matinee. Made it through without sleeping, but both of us looked at each other and said 'meh.'<p>Never saw ROTS until it hit DVD. Didn't regret it a bit.<p>I've tried to make myself like them, watching those interminable marathons that Fox or somebody is always running with I through VI, but I'm always disgusted when I hit IV, V, and VI and have to think about I, II, and III. Such opportunity. So wasted.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:14 a.m. CST

    I liked the First Contact review the best

    by Bass Ackwards

    And I liked First Contact the movie (still do!). The prequel stuff has been funny too (the video game light saber fight had me laughing). I'm also in agreement about the bafflement with some of the enraged fanboys here. I can definitely appreciate the guys who don't find it funny, its certainly not everyone's cup of tea. But man, you guys getting in a huff and furiously ranting through the talkback, I don't know... I'm always reminded of a Lincoln quote, I won't be judgmental of you folks, I'll just be thankful that I've been spared the appetites that spur you on.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Seatless Bicycle..

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Who said I don't like the thread?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Characterization is the strongest in this film...

    by LordEnigma

    but only a slew of dipshits would miss it. This entire film is about people doing stuff they do not want to do and how they react to that situation. Everything starts from there. If you think the prequels lack characters and that this douche with the goofy voice has a point, then you never ever got it in the first place. These reviews are fails of the highest order.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:16 a.m. CST

    Bicycle Sharer

    by Happyfat73

    The problem is I wanted to like them so much. I tricked myself into liking them. I suppose it's a bit like confirmation bias. People see what they want to see, and ignore that which challenges their preconceived notions.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:17 a.m. CST

    Hegelian Dialectic

    by california_mtz

    Hitler's Reichstag Fire? Roosevelt's Pearl Harbor? Problem-reaction-solution? It's exactly what the emperor did. I think Lucas' use of this concept, successful or not, deserves some merit.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:17 a.m. CST

    The biggest problem with the prequels

    by slappy jones

    is that they are completely void of anything resembling fun. All potential joy seems to have been sucked out of every scene. I really don't like any of the prequels. I love Star Wars. Grew up on them and love them dearly but the prequels just do not fit in with the originals on any level. they ruin so many things about the originals that I actually kind of resent them. Having said that these "reviews" that this guy is doing are pointless. You could probably tear apart every film if you really wanted to completely over analyse and over think every single moment if you wanted to.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:17 a.m. CST

    The biggest problem with the prequels

    by slappy jones

    is that they are completely void of anything resembling fun. All potential joy seems to have been sucked out of every scene. I really don't like any of the prequels. I love Star Wars. Grew up on them and love them dearly but the prequels just do not fit in with the originals on any level. they ruin so many things about the originals that I actually kind of resent them. Having said that the "reviews" that this guy is doing are pointless. You could probably tear apart every film if you really wanted to completely over analyse and over think every single moment if you wanted to.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:18 a.m. CST

    "[T]he whole EIEW is an INENTIONAL joke"

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Dude, you know when you have a stroke, you can't sue AICN or us, right? "Mjake"?!?!?! Bwahahahaha!<p>Fuck, dude, I have not laughed this hard in YEARS! Or, as you might say: "Duck, dfude, I yave njot kaughed tjhis yard in YJEARS!"

  • April 5, 2010, 1:18 a.m. CST

    Yes, well since your stoner brother was confused...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Then that obviously mjeans the movie made no sense. *eyeroll*

  • April 5, 2010, 1:21 a.m. CST

    So seatless bicycle tell me....

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    How often do you smoke weed? Do you believe when people say that kills brain cells?</p><p>Wait, allow me to answer for you: "DUUUUUR PADAWAN LEARNER HUR HUR HUR!"

  • April 5, 2010, 1:22 a.m. CST

    INENTIONAL:

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    [ɪnˈɛnʃənəl]. adj. Something a Padawan Learner does on purpose.<p>EIEW (yoo). noun. The sound a Padawan Learner's mom makes when she discovers him jerking off to Jar Jar Binks.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:22 a.m. CST

    I think seeing the movies through his eyes

    by lotharius3rd1118

    make them worthwhile. I didn't think that Qui-Gon was completely illogical in TPM, but the idea of seeing him portrayed as a drunk just randomly skipping through an overly complicated plotline is funny to me.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:23 a.m. CST

    If you didn't like it its b/c you didn't get it

    by natecore

    defense #1 in the rulebook entitled: I'm an idiot that has no defense of my opinions. Forward by LordEnigma.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:23 a.m. CST

    MJEANS:

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    (muh-jeens). Noun. Something a Padawan Learner puts on when he's going to leave his basement. "Hold on, guys. Let me put on mjeans."

  • April 5, 2010, 1:24 a.m. CST

    Yes, my wireless keyboard is a bit glitchy

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    But by all means, plan the rest of your life around it if it brings you happiness.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:25 a.m. CST

    Ok, I think another TBer hit the nail on the head

    by lotharius3rd1118

    already, but I'll give it a shot. On the Boba/Jango name confusion bit: I think he was referring to how it was an obvious attempt by Lucas and co. to capitalize on the marketing value of a popular character that Lucas himself was shocked to see made into a fan favorite. And the fact that Boba is a clone of Jango and therefore the same person makes it perfectly reasonable to just call Jango Boba. Did that make sense? I hope that made sense. I'm drunk.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:26 a.m. CST

    How often do I smoke weed?

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    As often as I need to get the image of fucking your mom for coke outta my head. How often do you have a stroke while trying to defend the indefensible?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:26 a.m. CST

    By the way, feel free to, you know...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Try to actually refute any of the dozens of points I've made.</P><P>On second thought, you'd probably have more fun toking up and screaming "PADAWAN LEARNER!" instead.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:27 a.m. CST

    Well, Revenge, you did do that obnoxious

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Duuur Hur Hur thing on your own accord. You can't blame a glitchy keyboad for being an contentious asshole.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:29 a.m. CST

    Lotharius,

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Go back and see which of the two of us started attacking the other.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:29 a.m. CST

    I like weed.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Don't smoke it all that often, but I believe it's an unfairly maligned intoxicant. Now, let's continue with the bizarre Star Wars defense/attack thing we got going on and leave the ganj out of it.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:29 a.m. CST

    My life as a Padawan Learner

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    So I was inentionally playing with my Light Toothpick in the basement while watching Jar Jar Binks. My mom walked in and caught me. The first thing she said was "eiew." So I threw on mjeans and got outta there. George knows, she might've tried to suck on my Light Toothpick and that's only for Jar Jar.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:30 a.m. CST

    Atomica read this

    by Chuck_Chuckwalla

    Here's blog a piece written by science fiction author John Scalzi, who, like Plinkett, also points out the many reasons why the prequels failed. It's quite enlightening and it's not just some whiney ass bitch-boy saying it sucks, there's some real thought behind it: http://tinyurl.com/ycb2h65

  • April 5, 2010, 1:30 a.m. CST

    I have no doubts that you were attacked first.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    I'm just saying that your attacks are kinda childish and disturbing. Use your words, man.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:30 a.m. CST

    Again, prequel haters...

    by 11ZOMBIES

    ...this guy is making fun of you. If you STILL can't see it with this review, then live happily in your hateful world. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Meta humor has reached a new high.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:31 a.m. CST

    I completely enjoy pointing out your idiocy seatless bicycle

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Think what you want but I'm having a grand 'ol time with your toothless stoned ass.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:32 a.m. CST

    That bit in the reviews about the sarlaac

    by lotharius3rd1118

    resembling a vagina that swallows men whole! How did that not make you at least giggle? What can I say? I like the way this dude presents his fucked up views.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:34 a.m. CST

    Do those of you who like this shit ...

    by TheMcflyFarm

    realize that this guy sounds like the nerdiest retard I've ever heard, or is that how you guys talk too? All this is is some disgustingly geeky waste of life bitching, and YES that's exactly what he's doing. His "critiques" are just SUBJECTIVE fanboy ramblings that you people (who can't get over the fact that these movies aren't the fantasies in your head that you've been masturbating to for thirty years) have been bitching about for far too long. Why is this shit on here?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:34 a.m. CST

    See how he just can't seem to actually speak...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    in any discernible way? Notice how having any sort of an adult conversation about the issue before him is simply beyond his grasp? He can giggle at his little scenerios and twitter to himself and occassionally scream out "PADAWAN LEARNER!" but anything else is rocket science to him.</p><p>Let's observe as he tries to explain the tenets of daoism and how they relate to Star Wars. This should be very amusing. *tugs on seatless bicycle's leash*

  • April 5, 2010, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Honesty, Revenge of Shitt

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    I don't smoke weed. For real. Never liked it (though my brother's a huge fan). Personally, I can have WAY more fun listening to your "points" about TPM.<p>And as for your "point" regarding who attacked whom first, you're right. I called you Revenge of Shitt first. 'Cause you're funny. And you're stupid. And those movies BLOW! And you're mom likes licking the "revenge of shitt" off my dick after I pull it outta her pooper!

  • April 5, 2010, 1:38 a.m. CST

    Sorry 11ZOMBIES

    by IndustryKiller!

    The guy who does the Plinkett reviews is on the record saying he doesn't like the prequels. And saying he uses the voice for entertainment purposes, the guy is not being ironic. Actual quote "What irks me more than any of that stuff is just sloppy writing. Stuff like weak character motivations, lapses in common sense and bad logic to advance the movie’s plot."

  • April 5, 2010, 1:38 a.m. CST

    Ah yes, poop jokes.

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Isn't he precious? hey seatless bicycle, why don't you explain the 3 act structure of dramatic narrative to us? You know, since you're such an expert. *throws rock at seatless bicycle's head*

  • April 5, 2010, 1:39 a.m. CST

    Good stuff...

    by AnalFissure

    ...looking forward to the ROTS review.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Dance monkeyboy, DANCE!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    FOR REAL!

  • April 5, 2010, 1:42 a.m. CST

    Oh...does this mean that...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    You CAN'T actually discuss the issues? Hmmmm....how surprising.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:43 a.m. CST

    Can't speak in a discernable way?

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    What, your mom been telling you stories again? I'm only "indiscernible" when she makes me wear the gimp mask. Nobody on here can hear me "speaking," you fucking idiot. This is typing and script. And at least I can do that without, uh, uh, what was it? Oh, yeah, "wireless keyboard problems"! LOL! A good Padawan Learner in a dangerous learning environment should exercise better control over his wireless keyboard. Much to learn have you. Yes, much to learn.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:44 a.m. CST

    Nothing to say?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    No pearls of wisdom regarding proper screenwriting?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:44 a.m. CST

    TheMcFlyFarm

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Did you watch the 5th part? That's why I like this shit. It's funny as Hell and observant. I don't really see it as the whiny bitching that everyone else is claiming it is. I think it's whiny ass fanboy bitching when Simon Pegg starts complaining about the inanity of the Ewoks on "Spaced," but I don't allow that simple disagreement to color my opinions about that awesome show or my personal feelings on the validity of the Ewoks in the Star Wars universe. I kinda like his voice, too. It has that ironic, deadpan quality that I remember from Steve Carrell when he was on "The Daily Show." Anyway, those are my reasons.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:44 a.m. CST

    TheMcFlyFarm

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Did you watch the 5th part? That's why I like this shit. It's funny as Hell and observant. I don't really see it as the whiny bitching that everyone else is claiming it is. I think it's whiny ass fanboy bitching when Simon Pegg starts complaining about the inanity of the Ewoks on "Spaced," but I don't allow that simple disagreement to color my opinions about that awesome show or my personal feelings on the validity of the Ewoks in the Star Wars universe. I kinda like his voice, too. It has that ironic, deadpan quality that I remember from Steve Carrell when he was on "The Daily Show." Anyway, those are my reasons.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:45 a.m. CST

    Oops, sorry about the double post.

    by lotharius3rd1118

  • April 5, 2010, 1:45 a.m. CST

    I'm confused....

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Which of the dozens of points I made about the Plinkett review was that last post supposed to be answering?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:47 a.m. CST

    Of course he knows it's "Jango".

    by Laserbrain

    He's making the point that Jango is such a shameless and cynical rehash of Boba that they may as well be the same character.<p>Well, some of us got it. :/

  • April 5, 2010, 1:49 a.m. CST

    Well speak up seatless bicycle

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Can you actually debate and discuss the Plinkett review or not? Is it beyond your capacity? Look, sometimes it's ok to admit that you're just not too bright. That's ok. There's plenty of dumb mother fuckers walking around. There's bound to be one dumber than you. They might not actually be born yet, but it's just a matter of time really. Keep hope alive!

  • April 5, 2010, 1:49 a.m. CST

    Hey, Revenge, why don't YOU explain...

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Three act narrative structure? Perhaps you could reference both Aristotle's theories through its modern permutations, as well as the classical construction of an argument (you know, thesis-antithesis-synthesis) as it relates to both each individual prequel as well as the saga as a whole (hole?) and how each of these six movies each contributes to the overall theme? Please use footnotes (not end notes) (although your mom does love giving up her "end notes"). Thanks.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:50 a.m. CST

    Ok, it was always a silly screenwriting choice

    by lotharius3rd1118

    to start the series off with Anakin as a child, but not Padme. Actually that's not a screenwriting choice, my bad. Still was a silly move though. Silly screenwriting was the utterly incomprehensible plot by Palpatine to control the galaxy by engineering a trade dispute and setting off a galactic civil war or which he controlled both sides and engineered opposing armies. His entire plot was way over complicated and showed the strains of bad screenwriting. Also the "romantic" dialogue in AOTC was hilariously awful. Still like the movies though. What an odd paradox that you can like something and say that it's dumb simultaneously? Hrrrm. I must investigate this further. It's probably a commie thing.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:51 a.m. CST

    Thank you, Laserbrain.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    You said it much better than I could.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:51 a.m. CST

    I have a degree in Print Journalism

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    And I'm in talks about my script with a production house so pretty sure I've got it down. Why don't you take a long toke and give it a try?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:54 a.m. CST

    I have a degree in...in...aw fuck it.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    I don't have a degree in anything. I'm a college dropout. I guess I'm less a worthy human being. But does a degree in Print Journalism give you the ability to write a screenplay? I don't see the connection.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:55 a.m. CST

    This was awesome

    by Dapper Swindler

    Thank you for posting this. I really enjoyed the analysis.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:55 a.m. CST

    What do you expect? SW fanboys are dicks!

    by Denty420

    I once went on to the official Star Wars forum for a laugh, and asked for the chemical breakdown and analysis of the blue milk Luke was drinking in Ep IV. I had, like, 20 fanboys reply to the post with all sorts of chemical stats and elements. And they say Trekkies are sad bastards.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Laserbrain - don't explain it to them...

    by AnalFissure

    ...let them continue running around like mongoloids on crack. Their reactions are almost as funny as the review....almost.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:58 a.m. CST

    2:56 in the AM

    by Evil Chicken

    I can't believe I just watched the whole thing. He's got some amazingly valid points. ...I gotta hit the rack.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:58 a.m. CST

    It means I've got a LOT of English credits.

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    And I've been writing and being published since I was 16. That means I'm pretty fucking good at it.</p><p>But please, continue with your insightful analysis of the dozens of points I've brought up in contradiction with Plinkett's critique. I await with quivering anticipation.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Can I actually debate and discuss the Plinkett review or not?

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    I could. But I'd rather listen to you and your theories of padawan learners in danger in order to learn while being protected as the teacher runs off. It's just such an interesting balancing act there of putting the learner in danger, yet safe from danger, teaching while leaving alone, protecting from danger but not totally. It's just, well... deep.<p>As for Plinkett's review, as I said, spot on and very funny. Just watched TPM and AOTC back to back.<p>Look, Revenge, it's a movie and it's a review. I didn't like one and liked the other. You liked one and didn't like the other. That's great. It's an opinion. It's subjective and more power to you. You have the right to like or dislike anything you want.<p>But, dude, that pretzel-like contortion of "padawan learner" was just silly. There's plenty of things (as you noted) that don't make sense in TONS of other flicks. It's pretty easy to go "yup, that was stupid and made no sense, but I still had a great time watching that flick and liked it." How hard is that? Who's gonna argue that you DIDN'T like it? There's no need to bend over backwards in some bizarre game of George Lucas Twister (tm) in order to defend stuff that doesn't make sense. If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense and, since opinions and what's entertaining are subjective, it's still okay to like something.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:58 a.m. CST

    And I bet not one of them could explain

    by lotharius3rd1118

    how to make a martini. And that's just two ingredients. I am also a Trekkie, and I know what you mean on the craziness of obsessive fandom.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:02 a.m. CST

    TRANSLATION: Nope, I can't....

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    But allow me to deflect and pretend that I can.</p><p>Face it, you're a pathetic shitstain stoner qwho will never amount to anything. Once you trip over that epiphony, you might actually do something valuable with your life. You could check people's tire pressure for example.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:04 a.m. CST

    I thought it was spelled epiphany.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    I thought I told everyone to leave the ganj out of this. Goddammit! It says in the Bible you can smoke this shit. Or something, I don't know.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:05 a.m. CST

    Loved the reviews

    by DeadAtRecess

    I really wanted to like the new trilogy but seriously I found it humanly impossible. I have watched each film a few times but they are just so awful. Lucas just had way too much control. After waiting so many years and with all of that money there really isn't an excuse other than his ego as to why those movies are just utter crap. The actors weren't even allowed to act and had to spit out shit dialog about younglings and midichlorians. I can just picture the actors trying to ad lib or make something sound NOT awful and then being beaten down by George. He got what he wanted though...he got to make 3 movies HIS way entirely without any interference from anyone else. Too bad for us. And I keep reading that people who don't like the prequels are called "fanboys". I rather think we are just people that expected something that was actually good from a creative team that had made some good films in the past. Like going to a place where you like to eat and discovering that now they put dog shit in your food because all of the good cooks got fired and now the owner makes all of the meals. Whatever, it's useless to argue this crap because opinions are always going to differ...but for me the originals are great, the special editions were ass, and The Phantom Blemish, Attack of the Clowns, and Revenge of the Shit are the smagma that gets scraped out of the folds on a fat sweaty whores taint.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:06 a.m. CST

    For someone in "Print Journalism"

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    You sure can't read very well. I said I don't smoke pot. My brother does. Are you retarded or something?<p>But please, Revenge of Fett, I'm bored and would like to read some of your published work. I'm a voracious reader and read approximately a book every day or two. We could quibble about TPM, ATOC, or Plinkett's review, but I'd rather be giving you money (I'll buy the copies of your published works) and opining about what YOU have done. Believe it or not, my wife actually is an author (she publishes for Carina Press - Harlequin's ebook sub) and I read her and her friends' (also published with Carina and Samhain) stuff as they're writing it. So, can you give me a link to your stuff? I'd definitely rather be reading your published stuff (16?!?! Wow!) than arguing this trivial ridiculous stuff. Please let me know. Thanks.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:06 a.m. CST

    why so cunty prequel fans?

    by George Peppard

    You got 3 movie you liked and high quality dvds to watch them any old time. Enjoy. Why be threatened by one more guy having fun on youtube? Modern super-loyal star wars fans sound like the cuntiest bunch of cunts that ever cunt.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:08 a.m. CST

    HA! DeadAtRecess

    by lotharius3rd1118

    The Phantom Blemish! That was pretty funny. I have yet to hear that one.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Just remember one thing seatless bicycle...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    When things are at their bleakest, when hope seems to have abandoned you, when all you do all day is cry into your pillow, remember one thing....</p><p>McDonald's is always hiring.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:13 a.m. CST

    Yeah, I don't get this weird animosity.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    On either side, really. Absurdly offended haters (people who just randomly bash obvious things without articulating their feelings) and irritatingly singular defenders (people who blindly accept something manmade as an example of perfection and the proof of idiocy for anyone who disagrees) are both enough to make you start to have some self-loathing for the fanboy community that these movies have created.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:13 a.m. CST

    Advantage Bicycle Sharer..

    by AnalFissure

    ...give it up Fett, you're out of your depth.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:15 a.m. CST

    McDonald's isn't hiring near my house.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    And they said something like if I don't stop masturbating in the bathroom they're gonna call the cops. That's a pretty low blow Fett, speaking as someone who has worked in the fast food industry at one time or another.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:18 a.m. CST

    lotharius3rd1118

    by california_mtz

    The "plot by Palpatine to control the galaxy by engineering a trade dispute and setting off a galactic civil war or which he controlled both sides and engineered opposing armies," is actually an approach that I respect about the prequels. That's the "Hegelian Dialectic" that I've been referencing and it actually has an historical basis. Do you remember the Iran v. Iraq war? Do you remember how the US sold arms to both sides? Other researchers have traced the beginnings of many conflicts to groups that have profited by arms dealers who sold to both sides.<p>The prequels were George Lucas' discussion of 1.) How an individual goes bad (Anakin - this depiction flopped in my opinion over the 3 films) and 2.) How a country goes bad. This second theme I think deserves at least some discussion; I've heard Lucas discuss Joseph Campbell but never Hegel. I think Palpatine's problem (the separatists are creating a droid army) - reaction (Oh no! The populous is vulnerable - please save us, government. Please give us security at the expense of our liberty!) - solution (Ok, well then let me become an all-powerful dictator with a huge army and create an "empire" and institute rule by martial law.)<p>I also think that Lucas' line by Amidala, "So this is how democracy ends - with thunderous applause," is more insightful and relevant than the old standard, "Democracy ends not with a bang but with a whimper."<p>This whole theme I did think was a high point in the prequels. Not to mention the fact that Lucas launched these ideas on America (& the world) prior to 9-11. Obviously, people didn't seem to focus on this theme in the prequels too much, which is sad because it is at least worthy of thinking about.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:19 a.m. CST

    Some points already discussed...

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    1. Boba/Jango - a pointed joke some of you still don't grasp and trying to explain that joke kinda takes the fun out of it.<p>2. His "annoying" voice - more than a little reminiscent of Buffalo Bill, as in "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard."<p>3. The name of Plinkett's psycho reviewer character is named Harry - Sorry Laserbrain, but I think they're a'bitin on the bait anyway and I'm just kinda surprised no-one thinks it might be more than a little coincidental.<p>4. The Sarlaac/Vagina motif - seems a certain FETT done got swallowed whole. Which leads me to...<p>5. REVENGE_of_FETT - clearly has no discernible sense of humor. Do you write encyclopedias or what?

  • April 5, 2010, 2:19 a.m. CST

    Pathetic shitstain stoner?

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    LOL! First (and again!), I don't smoke pot. Second, I don't claim to have a degree in "print journalism." (Where'd you get that, by the way? I've never heard of a DEGREE in "print journalism." Oh, I've heard of a CLASS in "print journalism" and degrees in English - B.A., btw - but never a DEGREE so I just wonder if you'd be so kind as to tell me where you got that degree?) Third, I never claimed to be a "published at 16 author with a screenplay at a production house". (Oh, and as an aside, I actually DO have a B.B.S. in Accounting with a Master's in Management that I got from Houston Baptist University. I live in L.A. right now and have friends and acquaintances "in the biz." NOBODY says "at a production house" here. NOBODY. So, I just wonder where you got that phrase - "at a production house.") Fourth, although I don't have a DEGREE (?!?!?) in "Print Journalism" (from what university was that again?), I DO know how to spell "epiphany."<p>But all that nitpicking aside, I really do wanna pay you royalties for the privilege of reading some of your work. What was that link again? :-)

  • April 5, 2010, 2:21 a.m. CST

    Wow

    by Niaiserie

    Revenge of Fett, you've been sitting here for over two hours impotently pounding away at your keyboard lodging I guess "dozens of points" against the video? Yikes. I hope its earned you some sense of whatever validation or redemption you seem to be looking for.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:22 a.m. CST

    I hear you on the historical significance of the plot

    by lotharius3rd1118

    But not on the ineptness on the execution. There's too many variables in Palpatine's plan to be taken seriously when it all comes together. I do like that Amidala line, though. It worked in ROTS, but in retrospect was clumsily handled in the other two installments.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:22 a.m. CST

    Revenge_of_Fett

    by Pop_aristocrat

    You misspelled 'Dooku'.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:24 a.m. CST

    That is how you spell epiphany! Thank God.

    by lotharius3rd1118

  • April 5, 2010, 2:26 a.m. CST

    Epiphony

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    Freudian slip?

  • April 5, 2010, 2:27 a.m. CST

    Lotharius3rd1118, LOL!

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    Maybe I can do something at Taco Bell. Put a little something-something in the Fire Sauce?<p>Hegelian Dialectic and the prequels. The idea of it is old and interesting but POOOORLY executed (like everything else) in the prequels. There are MUCH better ways for the whole "nation goes bad" to have been done than the silly and ham-handed robots vs. clones horseshit.<p>Sarlaac Vagina is actually Fett's mom's screen name.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:28 a.m. CST

    Heh, Bicycle Sharer. That was a fine summation.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Just back out with dignity, Fett.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:29 a.m. CST

    Nitpick

    by Niaiserie

    But manufacturing a problem then manufacturing a solution for some form of gain isn't really what Hegelian dialectic is. Its not a course or call to action, its more just an idea, or formula, for the progression of things, a general outline that leads to a more careful study of how something has developed or may develop, and an ultimate idea of some rational unity (similar to Plato's ideals). <p>It doesn't take away from the historical analogies you're drawing, it just doesn't relate so much to Hegel's philosophy.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:32 a.m. CST

    Screw Taco Bell!

    by lotharius3rd1118

    We all know that if you want to work someplace where your genital fluids may have contact with the customer foodstuffs, you work at Sonic! Think about THAT next time you examine the consistency of the chili on a coney. Hehehe, chili on a coney. Already sounds nasty dirty, don't it?

  • April 5, 2010, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Alright, guys! Have fun. Gotta run.

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    It's late out here and I actually have to work today. (Tax accountant, Fett, NOT "published author" with "screenplay" at "production house." LOL!)<p>Definitely still waiting on that opus (not "ol' puss" - tell your mom to back off) and I'll check back tomorrow to get that link so that I can pay you. You do like money, right? And you want people to read your work, right? So just make with the link.<p>'Night, all.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:42 a.m. CST

    Take it easy, mofo.

    by lotharius3rd1118

  • April 5, 2010, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Wow

    by damned-dirty-ape

    It really has amazed me how some of you guys are getting really worked up about this. Plinketts reviews, although in most parts are correct, are meant to be comedy. Red letter media is a comedy website and hosts several other reviews from various sci-fi franchises. Take a look at the Star Trek ones too, he makes a lot of valid points. It's obvious the guy is a big sci-fi fan and is deconstructing some of the really poorer pieces of story telling, but i repeat, it is comedic. On a side note, i watched the prequels on my Blu Ray player player which upscales DVD to 1080dpi and i was shocked at how poorly the cgi has aged. In parts, it is really poor

  • April 5, 2010, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Fett

    by insertaphorism

    Fett's a virgin. An angry virgin.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:47 a.m. CST

    I think the CGI has aged better in TPM

    by lotharius3rd1118

    than the sequels where things were oversaturated. Particularly AOTC, which just looks like a stupid cartoon for half of its running time. Especially on Geonosis where the CG backgrounds are flat and colorless. It almost looks like a test reel, for God's sake. But I think TPM has held up quite well though. ROTS had the same problem with oversaturation of CG images, but the backgrounds varied enough that it wasn't such a distraction.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:53 a.m. CST

    Revenge of Fett

    by Happyfat73

    Good luck with your screenplay. I hope it's better than Attack of the Clones.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:03 a.m. CST

    epic. deconstruction is so painfully acurate....

    by theDannerDaliel

    I wish i could watch G.Lucas watching these. His Avatar review is also spot-on.....

  • April 5, 2010, 3:05 a.m. CST

    Megan Fox....Red Sonja...is it a porno now?

    by theDannerDaliel

  • April 5, 2010, 3:07 a.m. CST

    This guy is 100% spot on with all his observations

    by D o o d

    All 3 prequels are a shame on cinema and lucas had help building the star wars empire but he has single handedly killed it!

  • April 5, 2010, 3:10 a.m. CST

    I thought his Avatar review was only ok.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    I don't think he gave himself enough time to gestate ideas about how to present it. The bit where he pointed out the hillbilly trickers at the safety brief was pretty funny, though. Had to watch the movie again just to see them.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:13 a.m. CST

    A shame on cinema, Dood?

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Melodramatic much? Come on, man. They weren't THAT bad. Of course, I don't get the geek uproar over Indy 4 either. If you look at something that was always meant to be popcorn entertainment and expect the ultimate cinematic storm of awesomeness then that's your fault, man. Yes they have obvious faults, but they aren't the worst movies ever made. It's silly to think so.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:14 a.m. CST

    lotharius

    by damned-dirty-ape

    I have to agree with you completely there. It's not really that noticeable in TPM, but might as well scream it out in AOTC. It wouldn't be so noticeable if the story was engaging, which unfortunately, i never found the preqels to be (apart from certain section of ROTS). Unfortunately the Star Wars films are the result of one man refusing to let any other creative input into the fold for fresh ideas without having anything new to bring himself. If he just took an exectuvie role but passed the creative part on then i really think Star Wars could be amazing. Lucas has surrounded himself by too many yes men. Take a look at TPM plinkett review at the part where everyone is watching the final cut of the film and tell me that everyone, including Lucas isn't thinking ''we fucked up big time here''. New blood is needed. To prove a point, read some of the books that have been written, there really is some great stuff out there. Oh and to let everyone know, i am a scifi fan in general and not a prequel hating tosspot which i will undoubtedly be called.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:14 a.m. CST

    Why aren't more people orgasming over the hostage?

    by lotharius3rd1118

    God I love this woman. Here eating popcorn and shaking her head was a moment of dream girl perfection.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:18 a.m. CST

    Like the Timothy Zahn books?

    by lotharius3rd1118

    I really loved those back in the day when i first read them. Don't remember much, but I agree on the new blood adding more to the mythology than the antiquated brain farts of a man who luckily happened upon gold early in his career. I also really love the KOTOR video games and was hoping for a little more of that open dynamic when I saw the movies, but we deal with what we get. In the end, there's the Lucas SW and there's large universe of the fan SW.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:19 a.m. CST

    Lotharius

    by D o o d

    I didn't mind Indy 4 all that mch either, but in that instance he had spielberg to keep an eye on him. It isn't a masterpiece but in no way is it the shit that the star wars prequels are. I watched the original trilogy again recently and for all it's goofyness, it's like watching citizen kane compared to the new ones! So maybe I am being dramatic, but I just absolutely did not like them.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:25 a.m. CST

    The Berg with final approval does help.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    I will defend the PT more on the visceral aspect and an inability to separate hype from product. I thought the spring of 99 leading up to the realease of TPM was magical. I also enjoyed the visual aspect of that first prequel and thought it captured nicely the tone of the OT. I did not care for AOTC, but enjoyed the action and appreciated the ambition of a glactic love story. Not the execution, mind you, but the ambition of the attempt. I am a bit of an apologist for ROTS though, which I thought was simply a lot of fun and regained the atmosphere of the OT. But I understand your outlook, Dood. They were all three stupid movies.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:27 a.m. CST

    Timothy Zahn

    by damned-dirty-ape

    The majority of the Zahn books were excellent and i was also quite fond of the new Jedi Order Series as a whole, but i completely agree the KOTOR games. Even though it was set thousands of years earlier, they got the look and more importantly the feel of SW without showing us any familiar characters from the films. I've heard the books by Drew Karpyshyn about the Sith and the Rule of two are very good too.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:38 a.m. CST

    Eh... entertaining, but not groundbreaking

    by UtinniPuccini

    The reviews are fun to watch, but I don't know how much credit this guy should get. TPM's been out for nearly 11 years and a lot of this has been discussed to death. If these had been made within months, or even a couple of years, after the movies were released I'd give this guy serious props. But he's not saying anything particularly new, he's just repackaging it. So give him credit as a comedian and an editor, but as a serious film analyst? I'm not convinced.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:38 a.m. CST

    Drew Karpyshyn? Doesn't he do Mass Effect fiction?

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Now that's a SF series worthy of some exploration.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:40 a.m. CST

    UtinniPuccini

    by lotharius3rd1118

    The only way to watch these reviews is as a comedic presentation. He does make some interesting analytical points, but that's not the point of the series.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:40 a.m. CST

    The original Zahn trilogy was good

    by spike fan

    and fun but after that he got much in love with his own charachters and his books have been getting weaker in which his mary-sue Mara is super duper fantastic and his gary-stu Thrawn is the smartest thing since sliced bread. Seriously in one scene in one of the duology books Han Solo almost wets his pants at the mention of the guys name. While his latest novel about a bunch of A-Team wannabe stormtroopers and Mara (the most brilliant 18yr old of all time) on the trail of some pirates (yawn) was awful.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:50 a.m. CST

    Lotharious

    by UtinniPuccini

    That's what it looks like to me, but I keep seeing people praising these for their analytical insight.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:54 a.m. CST

    Funny, wrong, but def funny.

    by Keith Maniac

    Every review i have read of the prequels has the phrase "in the originals" conspicuously lurking in it somewhere and thats all you need to read ! BTW is this guy Toby Flenderson from The Office ?

  • April 5, 2010, 4:03 a.m. CST

    Is he the new Scriptgirl?

    by RedEgiraahgnal

  • April 5, 2010, 4:17 a.m. CST

    Drew Karpyshyn

    by damned-dirty-ape

    He does indeed do the mass effect fiction which so far haven't been the best but that universe is ripe for exploration. I just hope they don't make a film of it like has been said. Avi Arad owns the rights but i can't see anything but a dissapointment if it's made. Kind of like seeing the future wasteland in Terminator or the SW prequels. It's been thought about in peoples heads that much that anything that comes is a big let down.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:19 a.m. CST

    C'mon, guys...

    by Denty420

    ... everybody knows that the prequels were conceived as an excuse for Natalie Portman to wear something completely fucking hideous in every scene she's in.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:48 a.m. CST

    EVERYBODY IN HERE: SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A MOMENT...

    by --- Emperor ---

    ...And consider what it means to be human. Anybody who types something like "Don't like it? Don't watch it" or something along those lines, really should report to the nearest concentration camp for immediate extermination. Why? Because, excuse me asshole, but FUCK YOU! What the fuck happened to being a human being and protesting about 'art and culture'? What happened to having an opinion and voicing it? And, while we do not live in a democracy (anybody who believes we do is a demented, dumb-ass ape), the entire premise of a democracy is the assertion that human beings have a fundamental birth right to voice their concerns about ANYTHING. If you do not voice your opinion, regardless of what it may be, you deny your humanity and thus should simply not exist anymore, i.e., die. Instead of saying "if you don't like it, don't watch it", how about "if you are an incompetent sack of dogshit, don't make a movie and advertise and dupe people into paying money for it on false pretenses -- riding on the success of the original films"? How about that, you fucking assholes? Call the guy what you want, a fanboy, a gaylord, or whatever else your feeble mind can conjure, but to speak out one's opinion is to be human, and every human being has a right to say "You may make money out of me you fat fucking pig, but I will let the world know what a worthless, greedy piece of shit you are! Perhaps even, you might watch this review one day, and try to redeem yourself?" That's what it's all about. Now FUCK OFF!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:49 a.m. CST

    Not his best work - the review is pretty good

    by V'Shael

    but the comedy serial killer bits were way overdone. What made them funny in the first one was the way they were so unexpected and weird. In this, they became a separate storyline. Not funny.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:49 a.m. CST

    EVERYBODY IN HERE: SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A MOMENT...

    by --- Emperor ---

    ...And consider what it means to be human. Anybody who types something like "Don't like it? Don't watch it" or something along those lines, really should report to the nearest concentration camp for immediate extermination. Why? Because, excuse me asshole, but FUCK YOU! What the fuck happened to being a human being and protesting about 'art and culture'? What happened to having an opinion and voicing it? And, while we do not live in a democracy (anybody who believes we do is a demented, dumb-ass ape), the entire premise of a democracy is the assertion that human beings have a fundamental birth right to voice their concerns about ANYTHING. If you do not voice your opinion, regardless of what it may be, you deny your humanity and thus should simply not exist anymore, i.e., die. Instead of saying "if you don't like it, don't watch it", how about "if you are an incompetent sack of dogshit, don't make a movie and advertise and dupe people into paying money for it on false pretenses -- riding on the success of the original films"? How about that, you fucking assholes? Call the guy what you want, a fanboy, a gaylord, or whatever else your feeble mind can conjure, but to speak out one's opinion is to be human, and every human being has a right to say "You may make money out of me you fat fucking pig, but I will let the world know what a worthless, greedy piece of shit you are! Perhaps even, you might watch this review one day, and try to redeem yourself?" That's what it's all about. Now FUCK OFF!

  • April 5, 2010, 5 a.m. CST

    Emperor

    by Happyfat73

    I get what you're saying, and agree that voicing dissent is a fundamental right.</p> However, just because you think something, doesn't necessarily mean you should say it. We humans are defined as much by what we don't say as by what we do... it's called self-awareness. So, just because you feel like calling someone an incompetent sack of dogshit and wishing death upon them, doesn't necessarily mean you should say it. Unless you're an arse, of course. After all, your words say more about you than they do about the incompetent sack of dogshit you are referring to. Now HAVE A NICE DAY!

  • April 5, 2010, 5:02 a.m. CST

    These reviews are not JUST about the shitty prequels...

    by alpeter3

    The reason these reviews are so good (on top of being funny as hell) is not just because he's bashing the prequels (which truly sucked btw). It's because he's exposing a bigger problem in the movie industry; that problem being that movie makers are perfectly ok with churning out true shit that is insulting to anyone with half a brain, so long as they can market it. Look, I'm not an idiot. I know that movies are a business and it's their job to make money, not art. So I realize the whole argument of "Well, did it make money? Yes? Then stop your complaining because if they made money then they've done their job correctly." Look I get it. In America we've lost all sense of honor and accountability and we've all sold out to the almighty dollar. I guess, like many of you out there, I just have higher standards. I believe that you CAN also make money while producing something of true quality. This doesn't just apply to movies, but any product or service someone may provide. We expect our cars to be safe, our food to be edible and germ free, our doctors and lawyers to be competent and qualified, and, yes, call me crazy, but I expect my movies to be of a certain caliber that is both entertaining and yet doesn't insult my intelligence. Lucas forgot this in the prequels, hands down. And to justify or defend him for it is no different imho than to defend a car company (like, say, Toyota) for releasing a batch of cars with malfunctioning brakes, or a fast food company for selling burgers tainted with ecoli. I'm not saying these cases (or Lucas) are "evil" nor that they can't retain my business if they fix their problems. But we SHOULD hold them accountable. That's what these reviews do. They are an attempt to hold Lucas and 20th Century Fox accountable for the trash that they sold us. So to those of you that are just writing these off as "fanboy whining", ask yourself, have you ever complained about a faulty product or service you've gotten in the past? That includes: returning broken merchandise you got out of the box, calling your phone/cable/electric/gas company due to interrupted or poor service, I could go on... Well, I've rambled enough, but I, for one, think these reviews are great. Much greater than the 3 prequel movies put together!

  • April 5, 2010, 5:07 a.m. CST

    Come to think of it,

    by Denty420

    I wonder if George has seen the TPM review yet, and what he thinks of it. Maybe he's not aware of Mr Plinkett. George strikes me as the type of guy who has people around him that shield him from anything negative.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:10 a.m. CST

    @alpeter3

    by fatjesuschrysler

    Dude, that's what I was gonna say!

  • April 5, 2010, 5:10 a.m. CST

    Here's a brochure...

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    ...for the Skywalker Center for Creative Control. Sounds like fun!<p> http://tinyurl.com/ScarredWhores

  • April 5, 2010, 5:29 a.m. CST

    @fatjesuschrysler

    by alpeter3

    Great minds think alike! :)

  • April 5, 2010, 5:34 a.m. CST

    These videos are serving as an AICN litmus test

    by BumLove

    They tend to reveal which talkbackers are humorless and incapable of rational analysis of films.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:35 a.m. CST

    Prequel Apologists

    by JFC

    exist in a perpetual state of denial.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:38 a.m. CST

    @TheUmpireStrokesBach

    by Denty420

    'How To Select Yes Men' - sums ol' George up perfectly, no?

  • April 5, 2010, 5:53 a.m. CST

    Re: themagicalhornofguntata

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    Sho'nuff...if I could get a Yub Nub Rub I'd tell that crazy fucker whatever he wanted to hear.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:06 a.m. CST

    All the talkbackers with Star Wars references in their....

    by BumLove

    ....screennames are up in arms.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:14 a.m. CST

    Not all BumLove...

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    ...but most. Litmus Test indeed.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:18 a.m. CST

    Minus one

    by BumLove

    Sorry, Bach.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Happyfat73

    by --- Emperor ---

    Ugh, one can always take it too far. And your 'example' is silly as well as completely irrelevant. Neither Plinkett, nor I, wished death upon George Lucas. But we both do say a solemn: Fuck you. And if you think this should be held back, then, how about: FUCK YOU!? As the great Voltaire said: I may not agree with you, but I'll give my life defending your right to say it. And you're neither Voltaire, nor George Lucas, which happily makes you completely irrelevant. And yes, you too are allowed to voice your nonsensical dribble on a forum, but please, at least try to make some sense. Wishing death/violence upon somebody has absolutely nothing to do with what I said. In fact, if it did, it would completely anull my entire point. For, just as we are allowed to call Lucas a fat dumb-ass, greedy oaf, he is allowed to call his box of pigshit 'art' and 'poetry'. So, in conclusion, you not only didn't understand my point, you also effectively contradicted yourself. Judgments as to whether or not somebody should 'say' something has absolutely no logical connection with somebody's human right to say it. If it did, then who decides what is to be said and not. You? Please, fuck off.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Bum.

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    May the Fun be with you...

  • April 5, 2010, 6:39 a.m. CST

    Pathetic!

    by Sigourneys_Beaver

    You could pull the same shit on the originals too, if you had no life like this guy. load of bollocks. Detractors need to realise these films are based fully on the old 1930's matinees. Try watching them in black and white, the prequels work better that way for some reason.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:39 a.m. CST

    That voice sounds nothing like Buffalo Bill

    by D.Vader

    Nothing at all.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:47 a.m. CST

    I think the reviewer missed an idea

    by Jinxo

    Once the crazy reviewer has his female hostage watching Episode 2, I half expected by the end she'd just belike, "Okay, kill me. If it's watching this flick or that... kill me." Or have her watch the whole thing and it still saps her will to live. And, hey, according to Episode 2, some chicks get turned on by guys who commit mass murder. It's only after Anakin "gets his genocide on" that Amadalla really falls for him.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Emporer

    by Happyfat73

    Ummm, okay. I was just commenting on your assertion about what makes us human. But it's cool, because I pretty much agree with everything in Plinkett's review and realise that your maladjusted rant is just Internet courage in action. I'm sure you're much nicer in person. If I misread your post, then please feel free to respond in an obnoxiously histrionic fashion. Toodles.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:59 a.m. CST

    happyfat73

    by Denty420

    That has to be one of the classiest responses I've ever read in a flame war.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:05 a.m. CST

    @lotharius3rd1118

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    This one's for you.<p> http://tinyurl.com/HeyMister

  • April 5, 2010, 7:05 a.m. CST

    Screw this review look at......

    by CullenisPrime

    the fucking screenshots of Empire. They look amazing, god I want the original trilogy on Bluray NOWWWWWWW

  • April 5, 2010, 7:06 a.m. CST

    Happyfat73

    by --- Emperor ---

    Dude, I have no problem with somebody disagreeing... I have problems with idiots in general. You probably aren't an idiot, but your previous post was idiotic. I don't care if you did or didn't like Plinkett's review. That's not the issue here. The issue is, if somebody can effectively splatter out diarrhea from their asshole and sell it on the free market for 5 or 6 bucks a pop, then anybody who feels slighted should rightfully voice their plight as Plikett (and others) have done. Of course some are done more tastefully than others, some are more effective than others. But this entire boring and useless slugfest over who is right about criticizing or praising Lucas misses the fundamental issue at hand here. 'Alpeter3' made a valid point: If you sell shit on the free market, the consumer ought to have a say and protest your incompetence. But, nobody is paying for or losing anything by either watching or ignoring Plinkett's review, so there's no logical reason to condemn his right to say it. Sure you can disagree and express this disagreement, but there are too many twisted individuals here who still haven't developed enough to understand what this is all really about. You should probably read alpeter3's post, because I think he touched on some important issues in this sick, money-obsessed, culture. And that is exactly what Plinkett's review is about. His absolute disdain for Lucas' sick farce that has been shat out upon the population.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Attack of the Clones

    by kwisatzhaderach

    is like Lawrence of Arabia compared to JJ's StarTrekwars. <p> That is all.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Emperor

    by Happyfat73

    Yeah... Read alpeter's post. Some good points there, although he lost it a bit when comparing bad movies to cars with faulty brakes or food with ecoli. And I agree, it's our Xenu-given right to express dissent and disgust at what is shovelled at us.</p> I think you may have missed my point, which I may also have articulated poorly. That said, the manner in which you say something is as important as the content of your message, especially if you want to inform people's views, as opposed to simply making noise with lots of "fuck yous" attached.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:21 a.m. CST

    Emperor, you completely overreacted

    by D.Vader

    Happyfat replied to you in a civil, rational matter. <p> You replied to him like most of the other crazies on this talkback, with cursing and vitriol, and well, it just wasn't needed dude.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:31 a.m. CST

    just awful

    by cool_britannia79

    that goes for all 3 prequels. the guys in here defending them are just ridiculous. as someone already said, it's obvious that lucas just doesn't care what he does with his franchise, and that rubbed off onto everyone involved, both on and off screen. what a tragic abortion of a potentially wonderful idea.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:36 a.m. CST

    goddamn dorks

    by the new transported man

    I can't believe the amount of vitriolic, contrarian spite for these reviews. They're funny, insightful, & well constructed. You fuckers are why I can hardly read talkbacks anymore. Everybody deserves his or her own opinion, but only if they're good opinions, & yours, dorks, are the pits. Please drown yourselves.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:36 a.m. CST

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  • April 5, 2010, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Oh no, the etootoo man is back!

    by D.Vader

  • April 5, 2010, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Wow.

    by YackBacker

    What a fucking fist-fucking-fest in here.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:47 a.m. CST

    etootoo has made some of the best points here so far

    by YackBacker

    SPAM monkey with a keyboard.

  • April 5, 2010, 7:54 a.m. CST

    I'll just stick to the Rifftrax!

    by Gweaser

  • April 5, 2010, 7:57 a.m. CST

    The Bicycle Sharer

    by Mr.Stiggs

    I usually don't respond to children but in this case I feel it's warranted as I owe the creator of these "reviews" an apology. I stated that he should direct all his "talents" to releasing his own film and you responded so elequently with a link to his film catalogue. If by "films" you mean straight to DVD amateur home videos with production values resembling those of a kindergarten play which have 1 star ratings on IMDB. OH...those movies. I stand corrected. BTW, my dad died when I was a little kid so...thanks for your kind comment. You're a class act.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Mr.Stiggs

    by Denty420

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but one of the movies that had low production values and looked completely amateur was called the Blair Witch Project. And that made, like, lots of money.<br> Just 'cos it's amateur doesn't mean it sucks, and certainly doesn't mean that people won't watch it.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Mr Stiggs

    by cool_britannia79

    In your world there would be no Evil Dead, Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity, Bad Taste.....so maybe no LOTR trilogy, no Spiderman movies, no Cloverfield......I don't like your world.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:21 a.m. CST

    WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?!?!

    by m_reporter

    These reviews are great. His Phantom Menace review was better but this is still awesome shit.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:22 a.m. CST

    So who exactly are the haters?

    by moorE12

    Is it the people who are hating these reviews? Are they the people who hate the prequels? Or is it the people who hate the people who hate?

  • April 5, 2010, 8:24 a.m. CST

    themagicalhornofguntata

    by Mr.Stiggs

    That's not a bad point. But it seems as if you are asserting that anyone who commits any type of material to film/video should be considered a filmmaker. I guess that means that any person that submits a video to Youtube can be considered to possess the same artistic and technical skill set as Kubrick or Lean as long as their material finds an audience that enjoys their work.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:27 a.m. CST

    Mr Stiggs...

    by --- Emperor ---

    You're another idiot. You're not the "if you don't like it don't watch it" kind of idiot, but the "if you can do better, do it" kind. What kind of a pathetic, lazy and worthless contribution is that? So, does this mean people cannot complain unless they are made to do it themselves? I guess we should all start building our own houses with bricks we all made ourselves from the cement we mixed ourselves. We should also start growing our own fruits from the trees we planted with the seeds we collected, and so on and so forth. That way, we can finally have a legitimate right to complain. You, sir, are a buffoon. Here's a thought: You have a brain. Put it to use. Nobody is interested in your half-baked neuronal scat (speak: brain farts). Moron.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Lucas Still Loves Star Wars

    by 0007

    "I just don't think he really cares, which is totally his prerogative as the creator of the films" But what of his direct involvement with every single episode of The Clone Wars? He personally outlines every story, and has a HEAVY hand in editorial for each new entry. As the series gets better and better each passing episode, it's hard to say he no longer cares.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:38 a.m. CST

    I'm in awe

    by Stugart

    of the people who actually claim to like, and are willing to go to the mat for these movies. I'll never understand.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:44 a.m. CST

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  • April 5, 2010, 8:52 a.m. CST

    0007

    by cool_britannia79

    I think there is a difference between caring enough to do justice to it and simply being too egotistical to yield creative control. People like Lucas are why kids are put into care.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:56 a.m. CST

    "Then the urban market stole my TV..."

    by spud mcspud

    AAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA <p> **PAUSES FOR BREATH** HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!<p> Stone cold genius.

  • April 5, 2010, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Needed a Han-type, and Falcon-type...

    by Billyeveryteen

    Sure the Falon was a shitbox, but it was OUR shitbox. Can't destroy Deathstars without it.<p>Same with Han. Sure he was an asshole, but we LOVED him as an asshole. What fun.<p>Nobody in the prequels was fun. Sad, really...

  • April 5, 2010, 8:58 a.m. CST

    its Dr. Zoidberg!!

    by 1st and only

    is this narrated by Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama? Jeez, couldn't even make uphis own pretend voice..as lazy as the sequels

  • April 5, 2010, 8:59 a.m. CST

    So, if you DON'T like these reviews??

    by spud mcspud

    Don't watch 'em.<P> Me, I'm still hurting from how hard I laughed. He's insightful, funny, intelligent - and like every great comedian, he's got so many levels to his work, the dumbest motherfuckers on this TB are still dimly trying to grasp the fundamentals of it. "But he keeps confusing Jango and Boba!!". He knows, you stupid fucking fools. He's being sarcastic.<P> I'm off to watch the TPM one. Plinket is a fucking genius.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Anybody who agrees with Commerce>Art

    by spud mcspud

    Is a soulless fuckpuppet with no right to share the oxygen on this planet with anyone else who HAS a soul. They should be forced to live in a sealed box with only re-runs of THE X FACTOR for all eternity. Because if you truly believe that Commerce>Art, then Simon Cowell is your god, and you are a twat.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:07 a.m. CST

    the guy is amusing

    by Miyamoto_Musashi

    has some good points, but yeah no movie would survive his level of nitpicking even my beloved empire strikes back or new hope

  • April 5, 2010, 9:10 a.m. CST

    --- Emperor ---

    by Mr.Stiggs

    So you're asserting that ignorance, laziness and stupidity is preferable to motivation, knowledge and ingenuity? I guess that explains your immature and idiotic response.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:13 a.m. CST

    "If You Can Change Your Face...Why Would You Need a Disguise"

    by Crow3711

    That sentence is pretty much everything thats wrong with the shitty prequels. Just a complete and total lack of making things and characters act in any way like logical beings in a real universe, as opposed just doing what looks really cool. It's the same thing as the part about Amidala's chief of security having no depth perception because he has one eye. That's a great point. These reviews are great because he breaks it down from the big picture (plot, structure, arcs etc) and does the tiny details that are just entirely overlooked in favor of style and aesthetics. Part 3 of this is brilliant.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:16 a.m. CST

    I Also Agree With Miyamoto though (as usual)

    by Crow3711

    That there probably isn't a film in existence that could survive this level of scrutiny. Some would fare better than others, and I don't think you could break the OT down and have it be as bafflingly and glaringly retarded as these movies look after these reviews...but they woulnd't be come out unscatched. I think the real difference here is the moments he touches on about friendship and relationships. In the OT, characters grow and change and form bonds with one another over time. In the prequels, we're told about them, and they arent even backed up with the relationships being written the way they are descirbed. Like Obi Wan saying what good friends they are....despite the fact that they never once really act like friends in the prequels. The OT doesn't have that problem. You can't break down relationships into retardation, which means we actually care about the characters, which means we don't focus on all the tiny inconsistencies. They work because we believe in the people. The prequels don't work because no one makes any sense.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:18 a.m. CST

    I've been on disability for depression since PM came out

    by wintocha67

    I waited all those years for answers and when PM had none I had nothing left to live for.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Part 5 of his AOTC review was my favorite segment

    by YackBacker

    where he breaks down the flirting/inappropriate stuff between Anakin and Padme. It's pretty freakin' brilliant.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:32 a.m. CST

    JackSlater4, interesting...

    by YackBacker

    Give me an example of one of the most egregious parts of his review.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:34 a.m. CST

    God I love how stupid people are.

    by The Dark Nolan

    The points have been made tirelessly on this talkback of how the anti-Plinkett's provide almost little to no substance in their critiques of Plinkett's reviews. Plus people keep saying things like "That fucking moron doesn't even know the difference between Boba Fett and Jango Fett." FUCKING READ THE POSTS! PLINKETT'S MAIN POINT ABOUT THE PREQUELS IS THAT THE CHARACTERS AREN'T FLESHED OUT AT ALL AND IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU SAY BOBA OR JANGO, BECAUSE THEY ARE THE SAME FUCKING CHARACTER!!! HE KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE YOU IDIOTS!!!! And to the "same" developments of the prequels similar to those in the originals that supposedly make Plinkett a hypocrite, I guess the prequel defenders are right. The love story is just as well made. If you are a fucking idiot. There's a difference between having similar shit, and having it be well executed. That's the reason for comparing Attack with Empire. God you guys are stupid!

  • April 5, 2010, 9:34 a.m. CST

    How about losing the mysogyny-based humor?

    by The Wolf at the Door

    I love this guy's reviews and I'd be inclined to share them far and wide, but could someone please do an edit of his reviews WITHOUT all the misogyny-based humor? Honestly, there's only so much I can chuckle at the hilarity of abusing women. <p> It might be funny in a world where women weren't victimized or ... you know .. if it has ANYTHING to do with the review. And I can get over it myself, but no way am I sending this to anyone else and that's a shame because it's otherwise very entertaining and spot-on in its insights.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:35 a.m. CST

    And to those who think these reviews suck...

    by The Dark Nolan

    Go on youtube to CONFUSED MATTHEW'S reviews of the prequels and tell me those are better. Plinkett clearly has talent. End of story.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Could be Buffalo Bill too.

    by The Dark Nolan

    I kind of felt Plinkett's voice was playing off Buffalo Bill considering he acts like a serial killer and everything, and little too much in the second review IMO. If somebody already said this, sorry, must've missed it.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Bet he won't do a review for ROTS...

    by DoubleFantasy

    ...cause it's the best star wars film.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:40 a.m. CST

    The Wolf At The Door...that's a legitimate point

    by BumLove

    I find these hilarious....but I can see how the humor is not for everyone, particularly woman who have been victimized, or people who know of women who have been victimized....but then, that's not the gripe that most of the people on THIS site will have with the videos....out of those who gripe about them....

  • April 5, 2010, 9:44 a.m. CST

    has any interviewer....

    by cool_britannia79

    ...ever asked Lucas what he thinks of the prequels? I'd love to hear what he thinks is their biggest strengths, and where in his opinion they could have been better.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Other Reviews

    by ArchStanton1862

    While I think he captures the main problems with these films I have to agree with other comments that these are not exactly fair reviews. Check out some of his other reviews and you'll see what I mean. He does just as harsh reviews on good movies like First Contact that have some flaws, but none serious enough to ruin the entire film.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Solid Gold

    by ScriptCunt

    I was reluctant to dip into TPM review series but once I "got it" I was amused and impressed by the clever dissection of the storyline and character failings present in the prequel(s). These vids are both funny AND genuinely insightful... but hate on, if that's what chubs you up.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:54 a.m. CST

    yep

    by theycallmemrtibbs

  • April 5, 2010, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Ugh

    by Arteska

    It's so disappointing to see AICN perpetuate this stuff - though not surprising since it facilitated its birth. I'm not sure it's Lucas that has the problem when every word the man has ever uttered is ascribed stone tablet status to be used against him in decades removed GOTCHAs by a gaggle of people that, to a man, probably each own these movies they cannot stop vomiting their disapproval for. People that used to dance around in Ewok underwear and sleep in Wicket bedsheets becoming Maslin after they saw Pulp Fiction and having access to worldwide publication is the problem. Very little of what passed for intellectual criticism back in the day looked upon the originals favorably either but decades removed from childhood the fat ones can't grasp how that conflicts with their memories. A while back The Onion made a graphic of people that were deserving of cockpunches and it showed people like Jared of Subway and Bono. They could make a revision and add a guy that makes internet critiques a decade later that cumulatively will be longer than any of the films themselves.

  • April 5, 2010, 9:58 a.m. CST

    What a cuntmuscle

    by Drsambeckett1984

    Complete wank. This is this poor basterds life, ripping into movies that were out a decade ago, what a loser. <P> You know, the prequels are hardly perfect, but there are thousands of worse flicks out there. <P>

  • April 5, 2010, 9:59 a.m. CST

    And Quint, grow the fuck up!

    by Drsambeckett1984

  • April 5, 2010, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Phantom Menace vs. Attack of the Clones

    by ArchStanton1862

    I'm actually one of the few people who prefer the Phantom Menace to Attack of the Clones. Phantom was a complete mess but it rarely failed completely and it didn't really have many scenes that were painful to look at and those few scenes (Mostly anything to do with Anakin) were pretty short. Clones started well and then failed spectacularly to connect on any level and then ruined any goodwill with a terrible love story that was so painful to watch that I skip chapters on my DVD player rather than watch it. The eye candy was more impressive than in Phantom but there was never even the slightest emotional connection except possibly with Jango Fett. Phantom actually has some nostalgia value for me since I saw it when I was still a kid, but Clones kinda ruined Star Wars for me. That's not really a complaint as I was WAY too obsessed with Star Wars at the time and it let me focus on something else, but it was a very big disappointment at the time.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:02 a.m. CST

    .....I can't believe I'm diving back into this shitpit of a thre

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    1) He says love for Jedi is forbidden. This is patently false. ATAACHMENT IS! This is stated by Anakin directly. Plinkett chooses to ignore this because it totally destroys his argument. Either he's stupid and doesn't understand the difference, or he's a liar. Either way you people are lemmings for believing it.</p><p>CAN YOU ANSWER THIS OR NOT?

  • April 5, 2010, 10:05 a.m. CST

    he should do the OT next...

    by darthwaz1

    you can pick those apart JUST AS EASILY

  • April 5, 2010, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Good Review

    by EliteStance

    I could lose the voice and the basement bits ('cause they aren't that funny) but the criticism is valid and accurate. A New Hope was a pretty well made, classic film that used strong, simple narrative approaches. Empire was even better and more ambitious, again built on classic narrative and strong characters. Jedi was the weakest (and suspiciously was where even practical effects where allowing Lucas to get closer to throwing stuff at the screen for no good reason). The prequels though are terrible with weak characters and fail at basic narrative drive so badly I do struggle to believe that the same creative force was actually behind them.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Love versus "Attachment"

    by VitaminZ

    Love being allowed but "attachment" being forbidden is just more horrible prequel writing, champ. How the hell do you love something without being attached to it? "I love you, darling, but if anything ever happened to you, I'd be alright with that too." Just about the stupidest idea ever.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Mr Stiggs...

    by --- Emperor ---

    Why did you even bother responding to my post? I thought I subtly hinted at your inability to think? Not only can you not think, you also clearly cannot read and comprehend what it is you are supposed to be reading. And nothing further needs to be said, because this would only give you an excuse to continue with your brain farts. You're like a 6 year old who points to his own feces in awe and admiration and shows it to others, as if it's some accomplishment. You're an idiot, and there's no cure for idiocy.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:08 a.m. CST

    WOW. Judging by the level of reaction in this Talkback...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...I'd say that Mr. Plinkett has accomplished his mission. Just reading some of this stuff is embarrassing.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Why Amidala can't be a couple with Anakin

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I can't believe I actually have to say this. I can't believe people are too fucking stupid to understand, because it's as obvious as the zit on your face.</p><p>Being a Senator, you know, kind of implies you have to uphold laws and traditions. Everyone knows Jedi are forbidden to have attachments. Having a personal relationship is a violation of his teachings. This would be a massive scandal and completely destroy her political career as well as cast a shadow on her homeworld. This is rocket science? So again, either Plinkett is a fucking fool, or a liar. And once again, anyone who can't figure this out for themselves is a compelte tool.</p><p>CAN YOU ANSWER THIS OR NOT?</p><p>NOTE: Love is not forbidden, but I can understand if people get it confused with attachment, so I should have said that sex is not forbidden. Personal relationships are obviously not forbidden. Exhaulting the welfare of one person above all others is forbidden because it clouds your judgement.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Read it and weep fuckers:

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    http://www.purifymind.com/NonAttach.htm

  • April 5, 2010, 10:16 a.m. CST

    So Zen Buddhism is "horrible writing?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    You guys are fucking AWESOME!

  • April 5, 2010, 10:19 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by The Wolf at the Door

    Personally, I don't really care whether the internal rules of a movie make any sense ... I do care if the underlying story makes me care about the characters, whether the dialogue is believable and whether the actors sell the lines and their characters to the audience. <p> Watching the prequel trilogy was like watching a video game when someone else has the joy stick. Yeah, you can get easy points knocking at the bizarro rules that movies make up for their fantasy worlds. But I'd bought into the rules of the original trilogy and then Lucas pissed all over those rules in the prequel trilogies. That would be bad enough, but I'd have gotten over it if I'd cared a lick about Anakin and Amidala and I just didn't. Sure, it's a subjective assessment, but movies are a subjective experience. So while I'm glad if you had a good time, I was bored out of my mind in these films. The "force" is made up, but it made sense in the original trilogy. The Jedi Order inspired awe in my, until I found out it was a condition from birth bestowed upon whiny brats with an air of entitlement and zero pathos as human beings. <P> SO YES I CAN ANSWER THAT.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Allow me to retort...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I'll just repost this point since you all seem baffled as to what points I await answers for:</p><p>Plinkett says that as soon as Darth Tyrannus says there is a Sith manipulating the Senate, the Jedi should order blood tests of all Senate members. That is completely insane. Does it occur to you guys that the Jedi overreacting to this news was EXACTLY his plan? Why else would he tell them that? I mean, they got this information from A SITH! Why should they believe him? Ordering blood tests really WOULD make them stupid. The Jedi know they are being sidelined by Palpatine and his growing constituency in the Senate. Would ordering blood test for thousands of Senators help or hurt their cause? How many YEARS would that even take to do? It's not like they could wave a magic wand, yet Plinkett shows a scene from Star Trek between 3 people to show how easy it would be, as if that's remotely the same thing. And what exactly are the Jedi supposed to do with these results assuming for a moment they could actually get them in a timely fashion? Just because there are Senate members with high midiclorian levels doesn't make them Sith! There will probably be hundreds of them. Are the jedi supposed to lock them all up just in case? Yeah, that won't turn the Senate against them!</p><p>CAN YOU ANSWER THIS OR NOT?

  • April 5, 2010, 10:20 a.m. CST

    So then Tiger Woods is the perfect Zen Buddhist

    by BumLove

    Because he has tons of sex with hoes he isn't attached to...now he's a Jedi Master.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:21 a.m. CST

    looking forward to it

    by sith_rising

    once I get home from work I'll check them out. ROTS should be great. I have no problem admitting I loved the Prequels despite the flaws, but I can still laugh at the incountable flaws with the films. I just wish he'd man-up and do a critical review of the Original Trilogy - any pussy can safely trashtalk Jar Jar and CG Yoda! Tackle the Heavenly-inspired Holy Trilogy for all the holes in it, and you'll have my respect. Same goes for Wrath of Khan and Search for Spock. His reviews of Insurrection and Nemesis are priceless.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Wolf at the Door

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    See, I can get behind your points. I agree Hayden Christianson doesn't have as much onscreen personae as Harrison Ford for example, and as I've stated before, I think digital sets contributed to that. I also agree that dialogue and performances were locked in too quickly without exploring the scene and the characters enough.</p><p>I also can see your point about being dissapointed with midiclorians soewhat determining who can be a Jedi and who can't. That's not really a sticking point for me, but I can understand it. These are good points that are nevber mentioned in Plinkett's 90 minute review!</p><p>Now if all debate in this thread was this civil we'd really be getting somewhere!

  • April 5, 2010, 10:28 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by --- Emperor ---

    Listen shithead, why don't you go back to the review and watch it another 16 times, so that the slow-witted heap of lard you call a brain comprehends what the guy's point is. And perhaps even then you won't get it. Plinkett's point has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not the Jedi are allowed to love. His point is: The entire film feels sterile, inhuman and CONTRIVED. Do you know what contrived means? Look it up. Just because we are 'told' by Anakin that the Jedi are not supposed to be 'attached' (or fuck, or be anything but dorky card-board cutouts unable to humanly express emotions), doesn't mean this adds any weight or depth to the film. His main point is: All the prequels are so devoid of emotion and semblance of a single genuinely human plight, that the fact that no jedi (or anybody really in the films) is getting any sex just stands out like a sore thumb. He even compares it to the original Star Wars films. This is another point your dumb-ass hick brain missed. See, while in the originals Han and Luke had their rough patches, it felt real and NOT CONTRIVED. You could understand why Luke the optimistic yet naive kid couldn't get along with the unabashed, experience rogue in Han. It made sense, it felt real, and there was REAL (not contrived) Tension. The audience was NOT TOLD that there was tension, along the lines of "fuck you han" or "fuck you luke", like it was so clumsily done in the prequels. For example, we are TOLD that Anakin saved Obi-wan, but are never SHOWN. And yes, that includes the lame circus scene. What about the scene in Grievous' ship you say? Okay, so he carried Obi-wan on his shoulder and got rid of some buzz droids on Obi-Wan's ship. That's. About. It. And that was the height of their friendship? It's simply too little, too late. Plinkett is right, Lucas had a golden opportunity to present a thorough, rich and well-developed friendship that IS NOT CONTRIVED BY INANE, FORCED dialogue. That was the point. Your lame fanboy bullshit about insignificant minor quibbles is completely beside the point. And this is why Plinkett is not a fanboy. He is an honest and objective and intelligent film reviewer that happens to enjoy good sci-fi films and decided it's important to articulate to any future film director how NOT TO FUCK IT UP. If you think about it, the prequel trilogy is a great example of how NOT TO MAKE sci-fi films. And plinkett brilliantly articulates this, and your rambling on about worthless garbage that nobody besides a star wars g-string wearing shithead cares about is completely irrelevant. Just like you.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:28 a.m. CST

    These Reviews Inspire.......

    by DangerDave

    excitement and hate. <P> Excitement because this guy "gets" movies and can call bullshit a mile away. <P> and <P> Hate because most of us fanboy wish we could call bullshit like he does. <P> Plinkett says what us venom filled fanboys wish we had the sack to say. I walked around for a few months saying "at least it is not as bad as the phantom menace". Then I really looked harder and new that I watch a better constructed pile of shit, where the first one was a a wet puddle of diarrhea. <P> Yeah sure, if you look this had at any film you can destroy it, but this doesn't take a genius to see the flaws.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:29 a.m. CST

    compelling characters/plot/production design

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Covered up any shoddy F/X in the original Star Wars trilogy. Because the prequels lack compelling characters/plot/production design the F/X plays a bigger part in what people are paying attention too, hence the heavy prequel F/X criticism.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Attack of the clones=worst cinematography

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Of any Star Wars movie, and I'm even including the Ewok Adventures on this one. I think much of the blame must be layed on the early 24fps digital cameras used that gave Attack of the Clones that made for Sci-Fi (Sy-Fy??) look. Also the editing didn't do it any favors either.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:31 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT, p.s.

    by --- Emperor ---

    Fuck off.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Why Does Jango Fett sound like

    by Samuel Fulmer

    the Outback steakhouse pitchman. And why God why did Lord Lucas think it was a wise idea to go back and re-dub Boba Fett with the Outback pitchman's voice for the 2004 DVD edition of Empire. "As you Wish Mate! He's no good to me dead, let's make it Outback tonight Vader!"

  • April 5, 2010, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Best things to come out of the prequels

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Mostly cool Star Wars prequel games (Podracer 64, Star Wars Battlefront II, and the Dreamcast Jedi Power Battles) and John Williams' scores for the films (which sadly within the films themselves were kind of hacked to pieces next to Lucas' last second editing..such as the thrown in at the last minute crap scene of C-3PO in the droid factory in Attack of the Clones).

  • April 5, 2010, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Luke and Han HATED EACH OTHER

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Until the last 5 minutes of the movie! They TOLERATED each other because they needed each other. This idea that they were best fucking buddies is horseshit and you know it.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:36 a.m. CST

    I hate that Lucas keeps going back to re-edit

    by Samuel Fulmer

    The original films to make them mesh better with the Prequels. Maybe he should re-edit the prequels to make them mesh better with the originals.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:36 a.m. CST

    His deconstruction of Anakin's relationship with Padme....

    by BumLove

    ...is my favorite part of these second reviews. After seeing her for the first time after so many years, he start whining to her about Obi Wan behind his back...and giving her creepy stares, so creepy that she even tells him not to look at her like that! The writing is so fucking clunky. Then you get that corny Eurotrip the two of them take, and it's just pure awkward cheese. He summed up everything I was feeling. Those scenes are like nails on a chalkboard cringe-worthy.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:36 a.m. CST

    I guess I suffer from the china problem

    by lochkray

    "I don't understand the big deal. I actually thought that it was a pretty good movie."

  • April 5, 2010, 10:38 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by DangerDave

    It's called a arch....charactor development. Empire and Jedi: Han and Luke were good friends.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Original Trilogy=The Hero's Journey

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Prequels=Shakespearean Tragedy by way of bad daytime television soap acting/writing/directing with explosions thrown in.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:40 a.m. CST

    As far as being "cold and emotionless"

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Look, that is the way of the Jedi. It has ALWAYS been the way of the Jedi since the OT. You guys love to forget these things.</p><p>Yoda calling Luke's confrontation with the Vader apparition on Dagobah his "Failure at the cave" and telling Luke to sacrifice his friends. That's pretty fuckin' cold right?</p><p>And I remember Anakin being pretty damn passionate throughout AOTC. He's very fucking angry and gets upset. THAT'S WHY Palpatine turns him against teh Jedi, because he can't adapt to the "cold" way of the Jedi! I can't believe I have to actually explain this to you chimps.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:42 a.m. CST

    cold and emotionless

    by DangerDave

    =lucas.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:44 a.m. CST

    "he can't adapt to the "cold" way of the Jedi"

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Well then there was a problem with the direction because even when he's "showing" emotion, he's preaty emotionless. It's like "Oh look I'm making a mean face" or "Oh I'm raising my voice, I'm mad you sand people!"

  • April 5, 2010, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Let's face it the prequels were Lucas cash

    by Samuel Fulmer

    grabs that worked out beautifully for him. Of course when the Clone Wars cartoon feature bombed, maybe the audince finally caught on.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Haha Samuel Fulmer

    by BumLove

    I think he actually does voice his emotions in the movie to make it clear what he's feeling, like to Padme...: "Obi Wan makes me so angry" *angry face*

  • April 5, 2010, 10:47 a.m. CST

    It's called an "arch"? Is that like the golden arches?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Yes and Obi-Wan and Anakin were good friends by the end of AOTC and through to most of ROTS. Your point?

  • April 5, 2010, 10:48 a.m. CST

    Mr Plinkett, you sir are a genius (albeit a very disturbed one).

    by Mr Nicholas

  • April 5, 2010, 10:49 a.m. CST

    RE: JackSlater

    by cool_britannia79

    The point is that unlike tarantino, lucas has zero characterisation to make you grow an attachment to the characters. He resorts to having two characters simply recite backstory to tell you they are friends. You have to be told everything in character relationship in the prequels as there is nothing to help the viewer come to their own conclusions. Genuine question for Jack and REVENGE of FETT, can you think of anything from Episode II that makes viewing Episode I necessary beforehand? FETT, you make some valid points about the differences between love and attachment, there is a difference, but it's hard to see how that makes sense in the Star Wars universe. In Ep V, Luke is a jedi, like his father, no one seemed to get freaked out by the fact his dad obviously had an attachment to someone, resulting in Luke. It's not like only Jedi knew the Jedi code. Sure, Yoda tries to dissuade Luke from travelling to Bespin to rescue Han and co, but he doesn't say attachment leads to the dark side, he says Luke's not ready to face Vader. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying Lucas lost the plot, and either changed the rules through a bad screenplay, or failed to convey them through bad directing.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:50 a.m. CST

    The worst line of the movie for me....

    by BumLove

    ...was when Anakin tells Padme that she's "intoxicating". That is one the most cringeworthy moments in cinematic history. It's like having a celibate geek try to write a steamy love story...and fail miserably...and putting their mess on-screen for millions to watch. Just awful.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Obi-Wan and Anakin were good friends???

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Unfortuantely we are never really shown this, only a couple of lines of dialogue that somehow establish that they are friends, but nothing really showing such. Even when Annakin goes to save Obi-Wan in ATOTC you feel it's more done for the plot than the character actually wanting to, since Annakin bitches to Padme about Obi-Wan constantly.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:50 a.m. CST

    IF YOU DON'T HATE THE PREQUELS...

    by barrignite

    You have no place on a site like AICN. Do these guys with SW related screen names REALLY believe that they witnessed movies that were worthy of the original trilogy? That made sense? That had characters that you actually cared about? We deserve better. <B> Plinkett has only articulated in depth what none of us have been able to do for almost a decade. I KNEW the sequels sucked. I just didn't know why (past Jar Jar).

  • April 5, 2010, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Revenge_of_Fett

    by Splungeman

    Yes...the Jedi are boring and cold. Which is why this story sorely needed a character that we could relate to and care about. There was no Han Solo character to point out how boring these people were...nobody was interesting at all. They made Anakin whine WAAY to much. He should have been a brooding, quiet character with fits of rage...not some simpering little bitch. It just did everything wrong, in my opinion. The main problem was...we don't care about the characters. If all of them had been blasted into oblivion...we wouldn't have cared. Also my problem with Avatar. Everytime I got to see a character die in 3D slo-mo it was "meh...on with the story" but that's for another talkback...

  • April 5, 2010, 10:55 a.m. CST

    So when Anakin refers to Obi-Wan as..

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    "Like my father", that doesn't imply that he's close to him? They are constantly bantering like old friends do, that counts for nothing?

  • April 5, 2010, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Wait, so now Luke didn't whine?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Funny how memories change to suit new arguments.

  • April 5, 2010, 10:58 a.m. CST

    "Like my father'

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Once again, where is the action. Film is a show, not tell medium, unless you are Kevin Smith.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:01 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by --- Emperor ---

    *Sigh*, this retarded fanboy still doesn't get it. Man, you're so god-damned obsessed with defending the prequels, you're simply blinded to common sense and logic. Okay, let me help you: Let's briefly go through the relationship between Luke and Han and compare this to abysmal dogshit that is Obi-Wan and Anakin. In ANH, Luke needs Han as a transport to escort Kenobi to Leia's home planet. There's already real (not contrived) tension between the two from the beginning, because Han's simply there for the money, Luke is the idealistic dreamer on a mission with Kenobi to learn the ways of the force and follow in his father's footsteps. Han thinks this is hokey rubbish, so the tension is real and logical. They are captured, however, by the death star, and help each other escape after saving the princess, but the tension remains. Only until Han sacrifices his payment to Jabba (risking his life) for the greater good to help Luke blow up Death Star, do they truly become good friends. And yes, they REMAIN good friends, so the audience gets to see this friendship expand throughout the entire second the third films. What about in the prequels? Well, there's no friendship (or tension) in the Phantom Menace between Kenobi and Anakin. It's just "I promised my master to train the boy, and that's that"...Hell, there's not even a real friendship developed between Qui Gon and Obi-wan, as Obi-wan is mostly reduced to bitching little Padawan on a ship with Qui Gon is in the desert with the boy and Jar Jar. There is no real friendship between anybody in the prequels. Anyway, so that's one entire film wasted. No dramatic tension between Obi-Wan and Anakin, and very little dramatic connection between Obi-Wan and Qui Gon (albeit a little more than with Anakin). Now, in Attack of the clones, what friendship or tension is there? There's a bunch of dialogue. There's Anakin bitching about this or that, mostly behind Obi-wan's back. It's mostly dialogue. There's no dramatic 'action' or 'conflict' between the two. It's just words spoken to a camera with elevated voices. How the fuck is that drama? It's worse than day-time TV. Anyway, so that's another movie wasted. The 3rd film is a bit better. There is some element of affection/friendship hinted at, but, as I said before, far too little, far too late. And by the time things might get interesting, Anakin has already turned to the dark side. Compare that to the original story. 1 movie is devoted to real tension between Han and Luke. The other 2 is an expansion and deepening of their friendship and respect for each other. ALSO, luke grows as a character. He becomes formidable in the force, he learns to control his fear/anger, and he no longer rants away at Han's immaturity. Han grows to respect Luke and learns to pay more attention to what he says. They have mutual respect and affection. And this isn't contrived, because we have plenty of time to SEE this, rather than be TOLD through inane and contrived dialogue. Do you understand, or are you so fucking dense, that you're beyond any form of objective analysis? I rest my case.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:07 a.m. CST

    by --- Emperor ---

    *Sigh*, this retarded fanboy still doesn't get it. Man, you're so god-damned obsessed with defending the prequels, you're simply blinded to common sense and logic. Okay, let me help you: Let's briefly go through the relationship between Luke and Han and compare this to abysmal dogshit that is Obi-Wan and Anakin. In ANH, Luke needs Han as a transport to escort Kenobi to Leia's home planet. There's already real (not contrived) tension between the two from the beginning, because Han's simply there for the money, Luke is the idealistic dreamer on a mission with Kenobi to learn the ways of the force and follow in his father's footsteps. Han thinks this is hokey rubbish, so the tension is real and logical. They are captured, however, by the death star, and help each other escape after saving the princess, but the tension remains. Only until Han sacrifices his payment to Jabba (risking his life) for the greater good to help Luke blow up Death Star, do they truly become good friends. And yes, they REMAIN good friends, so the audience gets to see this friendship expand throughout the entire second and third films. What about in the prequels? Well, there's no friendship (or tension) in the Phantom Menace between Kenobi and Anakin. It's just "I promised my master to train the boy, and that's that"...Hell, there's not even a real friendship developed between Qui Gon and Obi-wan, as Obi-wan is mostly reduced to the bitching little Padawan on a ship while Qui Gon is in the desert with the boy and Jar Jar. There is no real friendship between anybody in the prequels. Anyway, so that's one entire film wasted. No dramatic tension between Obi-Wan and Anakin, and very little dramatic connection between Obi-Wan and Qui Gon (albeit a little more than with Anakin). Now, in Attack of the clones, what friendship or tension is there? There's a bunch of dialogue. There's Anakin bitching about this or that, mostly behind Obi-wan's back. It's mostly dialogue. There's no dramatic 'action' or 'conflict' between the two. It's just words spoken to a camera with elevated voices. How the fuck is that drama? It's worse than day-time TV. Anyway, so that's another movie wasted. The 3rd film is a bit better. There is some element of affection/friendship hinted at, but, as I said before, far too little, far too late. And by the time things might get interesting, Anakin has already turned to the dark side. Compare that to the original story. 1 movie is devoted to real tension between Han and Luke. The other 2 films are an expansion and deepening of their friendship and respect for each other. ALSO, luke grows as a character. He becomes formidable in the force, he learns to control his fear/anger, and he no longer rants away at Han's immaturity. Han grows to respect Luke and learns to pay more attention to what he says. They have mutual respect and affection. And this isn't contrived, because we have plenty of time to SEE this, rather than be TOLD through inane and contrived dialogue. Do you understand, or are you so fucking dense, that you're beyond any form of objective analysis? I rest my case.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:07 a.m. CST

    ROF

    by elsewhere

    "Like my father" is simply implied through dialogue. The audience wants to feel it, not hear it.<p>..and if you consider that bantering between old friends, well then you have a wrong concept of what it means to be old friends. That's some of the shallowest and forced shit I've ever heard.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:10 a.m. CST

    The banter moment from ATOTC-the Elevator

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I still remember some goofy line about falling into a pit of gundarcs, and then Ewan Macgreagor taking some kind of Shatner-esque pause and then going "Oh.....right." I almost expected him to wink at the camera and flash a cheesy grin.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Obi-Wan tries to console Anakin

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    When he sees how dissapointed he is that Padme didn't react the way he was hoping. Pretty friendly. They then have a discussion on the balcony where Anakin confides his feelings for her with Obi-Wan. Wow...it's almost like they're friends or something! But there is tension, as in any relationship, particularly when there is power over another.</p><p>But by the end of the Clone Wars, they're more of equals so a lot of that tension has dissipated and they seem even closer. You can see this in Obi-Wan's severe reluctance in giving Anakin his new assignment and their goodbye to each other.</p><p>This ridiculous idea that Anakin and Obi-Wan somehow hate each other is truly bizarre to me. CLEARLY they were good friends. Can you seriously say that Han and Luke were better friends? What's the evidence? Every bit of it can be countered with equal examples between Anakin and Obi-Wan.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:13 a.m. CST

    "Luke and Han HATED EACH OTHER"

    by Billyeveryteen

    Nah, Luke was genuinely disappointed that Han wouldn't come along for the "suicide" mission. Han even tried to get Luke to join 'em. BFF's at that point.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:15 a.m. CST

    How is it bizarre that he hates Obi-Wan?

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Considering at the end of ROTS he fights him to the death (or in Anakin's case to the maiming).

  • April 5, 2010, 11:17 a.m. CST

    "he was hittin it back then"

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Yeah, that really equals on screen chemistry. I guess that's why Gigli was such a success!

  • April 5, 2010, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Luke whined...

    by Splungeman

    About stuff we could relate to. He lived in a desert...all his friends had left. He was trapped, in a sense. Anakin could have just said, "Screw this Jedi stuff...it's not for me...goodbye." I understand that Obi-Wan says "You made a commitment to the Jedi order...not easily broken" But...uhm...is it fair to force someone to stick with something they committed to as a child?? If Anakin had said those words and they then had a conversation about how anyone wishing to leave the Jedi would be hunted down and killed, or if there was some midicholorian purging ritual that made you force-impotent and hurt like a bitch. Then maybe I would have understood his dilemma. But nothing is explained. There are no consequences illustrated. There were a lot of ways the story could have been more interesting. Perhaps Anakin could have appealed to the council to let him leave and they kept refusing him. Maybe we could have some further insight into his life. We are granted nothing but his whines. At least we SEE how Luke lives. Hell...I'd be whining to get out of there too! Anakin seems to live an adventurous life and gets to use a lightsaber...that's all we're shown anyway. i don't know...It just didn't make you feel anything. Also let me say...dude...despite these problems...it's OKAY to like/love these movies. You don't have to prove anything here. The main point we're trying to make is that the first three movies simply worked better, that's why they are pretty much universally loved. A lot of us just wish the new ones had measured up to the old. Lucas forgot what made the originals so good...the characters.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Billy,

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Ok, that's a valid point that Han offered Luke to join him. I think they had developed a sort of tentative respect for each other by that point.</p><p>Obi-Wan had barely spent any time with Anakin by the end of Episode 1 just by the nature of the story so of course they aren't close then.</p><p>And I counter that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon weren't friends. When Obi-Wan apologizes to Qui-Gon and is forgiven I thought that was a great moment between them.</p><p>Besides, since when is Star Wars supposed to be Fried Green Fucking Tomatoes anyway?

  • April 5, 2010, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Fuck me...

    by SK229

    how can anyone say that the OT was the same shit. That is truly depressing... like someone else said above, if anything, these reviews actually give you a new appreciation for what brilliant storytelling and direction the OT had. When he cuts back and forth, it's immediately recognizable to anyone with half a brain that the actors mean what they're saying, it feels like real stuff happening between real people that we care about, and everything makes perfect sense. Cut back to the prequel trilogy and all of that is completely removed. Just that moment cutting back to the end of ANH where everyone, even the extras, seem to actually be happy about what Luke has accomplished and it has an unpolished, euphoric feeling to it. So that when the awards ceremony comes up, you have- ahhhh, fuck it...

  • April 5, 2010, 11:22 a.m. CST

    "It's not fair. Obi-Wan is holding me back."

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Que male mannequin throwing super shammy.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Anakin WANTS to be a Jedi, he tells us this

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    He's frustrated that he's not advancing as fast as he thinks he should and he misses his mother. That's not relatable?

  • April 5, 2010, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Clone Wars Season 2 Trailer with Boba Fett:AWESOME

    by Tacom

    I don't give a shit of you didn't like the prequels the season 2 finale trailer they showed at Wondercom was fucking incredible! http://www.starwars.com/video/view/000992.html

  • April 5, 2010, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Has its moments

    by The StarWolf

    Makes lots of good points, to be sure. But also tries too hard to be cute with those end-of-segment sequences.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:25 a.m. CST

    One more Prequel fault-No memorable lines

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I mean really what do we have, "Now this is pod racing." or "From my point of view the Jedi are evil." or "Oh maxi pad the force.." or whatever the hell jar jar said.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:27 a.m. CST

    I also love how Plinkett incorporates "the making of" scenes

    by BumLove

    It really heightens the analysis and insight. There's something so soulless about a filmmaker discussing the box office the film will make during the creative process, saying things like "I don't think we'll beat Titanic". And the reaction shots after people discuss things with Lucas, and listen to his ideas. They're priceless.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:28 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT-No it's not relatable

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Unless you're some kind of held back supposed child prodigy who hasn't seen his mother in 10 plus years, oh and was also once a slave.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:29 a.m. CST

    FYI: THESE VIDEOS ARE MEANT TO BE FUNNY

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    everyone is taking this guy way way waaaay too seriously. He's not simply mocking Lucas and the prequels - he is masterfully lampooning the fanboys on all sides of the debate. The entire character doing the review is a lampoonery of the stereotypical AICN talkback troll hater, and he is spot on accurate with it.<p> Thats what makes these videos so awesome - there are layers of sarcasm and wit that you can only discover if you watch them three or four times over.<p> I hope he continues to make these videos and anticipate his take on Karate Kid Redux. That might be one for the ages.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:31 a.m. CST

    "She didn't just meet Anakin he charmed her as a child"

    by BumLove

    What the fuck? You're serious. Jesus Christ. Jesus Fucking Christ.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Jack Slater....your discussion of relations between men and wome

    by BumLove

    ....is as cringeworthy as the love story in Attack of the Clones.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:33 a.m. CST

    JackSlater actually made some good points in Part I

    by D.Vader

    I'll have to read the rest now.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Lucas was more interested in the 70's

    by Samuel Fulmer

    In making a modern myth, hence why there was much more thought put into the story. Lucas' interest in the 90's/00's was in pushing new digital technologies, which is why the stories are shafted in favor of full CG characters (like Jar Jar) made solely to show off technology, and not to make the story better. I accept this, but it should also be accepted that this was his intent. He wanted to push technology and make a ton of money using the Star Wars "brand." This is why almost every story/plot/character aspect of the prequels is sub-standard, even compared to other F/X heavy films, let alone the Original trilogy.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Emperor

    by D.Vader

    Is it possible for you to engage in a civil debate without having to resort to insults? Just checkin'.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Romancing the Jedi

    by DangerDave

    The relationship interpretations given here show that for most of you basement dwelling neck beards...the closest that you have come to intimacy is switching hands.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:39 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by --- Emperor ---

    Dude, don't you get that this isn't about what we're told, but what we're shown? How many times did Luke have to say "han is a great friend" or "han is the closest thing I've had as a brother". It wasn't necessary, because the audience SAW it and FELT it. Look at the prequels. Anakin says "you're the closest thing I have to a father". or Obi-wan says "I have trained you since you were a little boy. You are wise and a better jedi I could hope to be"... <---- doesn't your fucked up demented brain understand that the reason this idiotic dialogue exists is simply to contrive the entire 'friendship', because Lucas was too busy fellating over 900 battle droids and 350 Laser Swords per scene? There's not a single scene in the original trilogy where a character tells another character how they feel/think or how somebody else is supposed to be feeling/thinking. Example: when luke is frustrated and impatient with Yoda's training, he doesn't say "I am so angry and I want more, and I know I shouldn't", like in the prequels. He simply loses concentration, drops the rocks, or simply walks away in disappointment when he fails to lift the ship out of the swamp. Where's that in the prequels? Qui-Gon tells Obi-wan how much he respects him, but in the original films, the respect and affection is shown through the actions of the protagonists (e.g. Luke saving Han's life, or becoming worried that he is endangering the mission by accompanying the crew to Endor). Let's have a look at the romantic tension between Leia and Han. Han is obviously trying to impress Leia through his actions, and Leia (through her actions), isn't impressed. Han is frustrated and the audience can SEE this. Compare this to the fecal matter that is the 'tension' between Anakin and Padme. Not a single scene is 'felt' between the two. The audience instead is inundated with dialogue such as "i missed you", "i was worried about you", "you're so beautiful", "I am so in love with you", "from the moment I met you..." and the list goes on. If you add all that dialogue together, you might get 10 minutes of hacked together, contrived and utterly implausible bullshit. Now put together 10 seconds worth of a scene between Han and Leia (such as Leia chasing him telling him the alliance needs a good pilot...). Nobody in that scene professed their undying love for each other, but the audience immediately knew there was both tension AND chemistry between the two. Your constant brain-dead rebuttals on this forum, are a complete waste of everybody's time. And yes, you're wrong. You don't understand cinema. One of the most important rules of cinema is: Show. Don't tell. The originals mostly show, and tell very little. The prequels tell a lot, and show next to nothing. And I will no longer respond to your rubbish posts, because you're only here waste time, not to learn anything. I suggest others follow my lead.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:40 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by --- Emperor ---

    Dude, don't you get that this isn't about what we're told, but what we're shown? How many times did Luke have to say "han is a great friend" or "han is the closest thing I've had as a brother". It wasn't necessary, because the audience SAW it and FELT it. Look at the prequels. Anakin says "you're the closest thing I have to a father". or Obi-wan says "I have trained you since you were a little boy. You are wise and a better jedi I could hope to be"... <---- doesn't your fucked up demented brain understand that the reason this idiotic dialogue exists is simply to contrive the entire 'friendship', because Lucas was too busy fellating over 900 battle droids and 350 Laser Swords per scene? There's not a single scene in the original trilogy where a character tells another character how they feel/think or how somebody else is supposed to be feeling/thinking. Example: when luke is frustrated and impatient with Yoda's training, he doesn't say "I am so angry and I want more, and I know I shouldn't", like in the prequels. He simply loses concentration, drops the rocks, or simply walks away in disappointment when he fails to lift the ship out of the swamp. Where's that in the prequels? Qui-Gon tells Obi-wan how much he respects him, but in the original films, the respect and affection is shown through the actions of the protagonists (e.g. Luke saving Han's life, or becoming worried that he is endangering the mission by accompanying the crew to Endor). Let's have a look at the romantic tension between Leia and Han. Han is obviously trying to impress Leia through his actions, and Leia (through her actions), isn't impressed. Han is frustrated and the audience can SEE this. Compare this to the fecal matter that is the 'tension' between Anakin and Padme. Not a single scene is 'felt' between the two. The audience instead is inundated with dialogue such as "i missed you", "i was worried about you", "you're so beautiful", "I am so in love with you", "from the moment I met you..." and the list goes on. If you add all that dialogue together, you might get 10 minutes of hacked together, contrived and utterly implausible bullshit. Now put together 10 seconds worth of a scene between Han and Leia (such as Leia chasing him telling him the alliance needs a good pilot...). Nobody in that scene professed their undying love for each other, but the audience immediately knew there was both tension AND chemistry between the two. Your constant brain-dead rebuttals on this forum, are a complete waste of everybody's time. And yes, you're wrong. You don't understand cinema. One of the most important rules of cinema is: Show. Don't tell. The originals mostly show, and tell very little. The prequels tell a lot, and show next to nothing. And I will no longer respond to your rubbish posts, because you're only here waste time, not to learn anything. I suggest others follow my lead.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:41 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by --- Emperor ---

    Dude, don't you get that this isn't about what we're told, but what we're shown? How many times did Luke have to say "han is a great friend" or "han is the closest thing I've had as a brother". It wasn't necessary, because the audience SAW it and FELT it. Look at the prequels. Anakin says "you're the closest thing I have to a father". or Obi-wan says "I have trained you since you were a little boy. You are wise and a better jedi I could hope to be"... Doesn't your fucked up demented brain understand that the reason this idiotic dialogue exists is simply to contrive the entire 'friendship', because Lucas was too busy fellating over 900 battle droids and 350 Laser Swords per scene? There's not a single scene in the original trilogy where a character tells another character how they feel/think or how somebody else is supposed to be feeling/thinking. Example: when luke is frustrated and impatient with Yoda's training, he doesn't say "I am so angry and I want more, and I know I shouldn't", like in the prequels. He simply loses concentration, drops the rocks, or simply walks away in disappointment when he fails to lift the ship out of the swamp. Where's that in the prequels? Qui-Gon tells Obi-wan how much he respects him, but in the original films, the respect and affection is shown through the actions of the protagonists (e.g. Luke saving Han's life, or becoming worried that he is endangering the mission by accompanying the crew to Endor). Let's have a look at the romantic tension between Leia and Han. Han is obviously trying to impress Leia through his actions, and Leia (through her actions), isn't impressed. Han is frustrated and the audience can SEE this. Compare this to the fecal matter that is the 'tension' between Anakin and Padme. Not a single scene is 'felt' between the two. The audience instead is inundated with dialogue such as "i missed you", "i was worried about you", "you're so beautiful", "I am so in love with you", "from the moment I met you..." and the list goes on. If you add all that dialogue together, you might get 10 minutes of hacked together, contrived and utterly implausible bullshit. Now put together 10 seconds worth of a scene between Han and Leia (such as Leia chasing him telling him the alliance needs a good pilot...). Nobody in that scene professed their undying love for each other, but the audience immediately knew there was both tension AND chemistry between the two. Your constant brain-dead rebuttals on this forum, are a complete waste of everybody's time. And yes, you're wrong. You don't understand cinema. One of the most important rules of cinema is: Show. Don't tell. The originals mostly show, and tell very little. The prequels tell a lot, and show next to nothing. And I will no longer respond to your rubbish posts, because you're only here waste time, not to learn anything. I suggest others follow my lead.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:44 a.m. CST

    I actually thought Mace Windu could've been

    by Samuel Fulmer

    A compelling character if he would've actually had more than maybe 5-10 minutes of total screen time in the prequels.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:48 a.m. CST

    REVENGE...

    by SK229

    The midichlorians was never mentioned in the review? How about THE BEST PART OF THE REVIEW THAT CUTS BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE MIDICHLORIANS EXPLANATION AND YODA TALKING ABOUT THE FORCE in ESB? Did you watch the review?<p>And for anyone talking about how you can pick apart the plot, blah, blah, blah, but it's the flat, emotionless feel of the films that makes them suck? That's Plinkett's overarching point in both reviews and I suspect it will be gone into in great depth at the end of his ROTS review. That everything about them feels dull and lifeless. That ideas that were exciting and fun have been turned to boring, contradictory shit. That scenes which are working get abandoned by illogical writing halfway through. That the simple shit from the original trilogy worked and the overly complex, 'dense frames' of the prequels do not. <p>Listen... if the prequels even had great performances and some fun shit going on, you could ignore the ridiculous plotting of the script. It's why TDK, which I agree is a bit retarded in the plot department, just fucking works as a movie experience. Even if a plot point is ultimately impossible or can be picked apart, it's just fun watching Ledger tear through the movie as The Joker. And the action scenes feel like there's real danger because everything's not computer-fucking-generated.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:48 a.m. CST

    The funny thing about the show/tell arguement

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Is that in the prequels Lucas could show us almost anything his mind could imagine (from amazing world, to giant robot battle), other than real human emotion. I think it says more about Lucas that man than anything else.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:50 a.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by --- Emperor ---

    And by the way, in case you come back saying "but Leia said to Han she loves him ESB...ahaha its the same"; no, it is not. Why? Because by that point, it was believable. By that point, it made sense. By that point, the audience was given 2 films to see the tension and love between Han and Leia blossom into this love. The final "i love you" was uttered because Leia was afraid she wouldn't get another chance to say it. But this wasn't shoved down our throats in the space of like, 10 minutes. And please don't come here saying "but Anakin knew Padme since he was a boy and now their love grew"...No, their love didn't grow. Nothing grew, except for the stupidity of each scene trying to convince us that the love grew. The dialogue became worse and worse, and there was no logical reason to believe they had feelings for eachother, until we were told by the characters...

  • April 5, 2010, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Emperor GETS IT

    by elsewhere

  • April 5, 2010, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Meant to be Funny

    by HapaPapa72

    THANK YOU. And yeah, sounds like the Emperor is gearing up to make his own little review videos. I can't wait. I think Mr. Plinkett needs to take aim at The Dark Knight now. Talk about a sacred cow that needs to be taken down a peg or two.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:54 a.m. CST

    As the prequels progressed I felt that Lucas

    by Samuel Fulmer

    was actually stealing visual ideas from current hit movies. Take the end of AOTC, that was like something straight out of the recent (at the time) film Gladiator. And then there was the Lava battle at the end of ROTS that looked like outtakes from Mt. Doom from the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

  • April 5, 2010, 11:55 a.m. CST

    sacred cow that needs to be taken down

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Oh we know it's got to be Avatar...right??

  • April 5, 2010, 11:59 a.m. CST

    REVENGE of FETT and JackSlater4...

    by ChristmasCameLate

    I feel that Plinkett is spot on, with a great deal of lunacy to keep it fun. However, some parts of the prequels are so woefully bad that they're not even watchable in the way that PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is for comedic purposes; at least for some of us. Recall Mace Windu in TPM saying "We will use all our resources to discover the identity of this attacker?" (meaning Maul), and then fast-forward 15 minutes. Mace Windu to Qui-Gon: "Go with the queen to Naboo and discover the identity of this dark warrior." Qui-Gon's all like, "Oh...I thought you said YOU were gonna put ALL YOUR RESOURCES on that." And recall Qui-Gon's manipulation of the force to rig the bet with Watto when he rolled his dice--if Qui-Gon was going to do that, and if the ends truly justify the means, then why not just STEAL the part and be done with it? Just come back later and give him something in return if it makes the Jedi feel rotten for doing it--GALACTIC PRIORITIES are at stake here and he's rigging a race and making bets with a flying bug? Get the shit DONE, Jedi! I find it hilarious. And yes, you COULD dissect many other films to make them appear absurd, but I argue that NONE of them would be THIS absurd except the ones that end up on MST3000. (Love that show, btw, and if it wasn't for films like this, we wouldn't have it! Gotta love the bad films just as much as the good ones!)

  • April 5, 2010, 12:03 p.m. CST

    This thread is getting heated.....

    by D o o d

    RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

  • April 5, 2010, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Samuel Fulmer

    by HapaPapa72

    Yeah, that too! Forget our childhoods. Talk about raping our wallets and then saying the extra dough represents more asses in more movie seats.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:07 p.m. CST

    If you want to release the Kraken

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Just start posting some of the classic dialogue the prequels produced like this one "Wan Naboo Cwuiser got past the bwockade!"

  • April 5, 2010, 12:07 p.m. CST

    These reviews are better than the movies.

    by SmokingRobot

    More entertaining. More truthful. More intelligent. And after you watch them you don't feel like you just got screwed by someone who basically despises you. Hey, GL - you're the biggest failure in movie history. After SW you could have done ANYTHING. So what do you do? 'Howard the Duck'. 'Radioland Murders' (opened and closed in the same weekend). And now the prequels. Yeah, you're a billionaire. I'm happy for you. But your artistic legacy is just shit. You are a failure.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:08 p.m. CST

    Dood

    by HapaPapa72

    Thanks. I gotta take a deep breath and relax. We're debating movies, for crying out loud; how bad a day can it be?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Wait-- people are STILL harping on midichlorians?

    by StarWarsRedux

    I've never understood what's so bad about them, to be quite frank. It's not as though having a scientific perspective on the way the Force works diminishes its power as a mystical power. It's like "electromagnetism" on "Lost", or "the God Particle" in "Angels & Demons". Denying a coexistence between the religious and the scientific is just betraying the same dogmatic mentality that put Gallileo in the hot seat. To paraphrase the Church leaders from back then back when they were leaning towards siding with the scientist-- the Bible tells us how to go to Heaven, but Science tells us how the heavens go. Can't the same be said for the Force and midichlorians? <p>Eh. The only problem I ever had with them is the way they screw up the audience's introduction to all these ideas-- in Ep.I we learn about the science of the Force, but only later on in Ep.IV do we learn about the Force itself. Granted, this is the sort of thing that is sort of unavoidable when making a series of films out of sequence, and in the end it's better this than including another speech that'd make classic moments from ANH and ESB redundant. <p>By the way, here's something I never got. In ANH and ESB, Kenobi and Yoda talk about how the Force is created by all living things, etc. In TPM, Qui-Gon says the same exact thing, only going into a little more detail with the science. Seriously, what's the big deal?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Other than the Indiana Jones movies

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Willow is the only George Lucas joint that I actually enjoy watching. Not claiming it's a masterpiece or anything, but I'll take it over the prequels.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:15 p.m. CST

    I can't believe...

    by Azlam Orlandu

    ...that I had to stand in line with these people.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:17 p.m. CST

    I never had a problem with midichlorians

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Other than once again it's one of those let's explain something instead of actually showing it, this time showing how powerful Anakin actually is. I mean yeah we had him podracing, but that was kind of a bizzare way to show his power since it's in reference to something that we didn't know Jedi Powers gave people the ability to do in the previous movies. Now maybe if he force chocked someone in Menace, then we'd say crap that kid is powerful, and scary too.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Jack, you've made some good points but

    by YackBacker

    you're also arguing matters of taste, which Plinkett is guilty of as well. Either you share someone's opinion or disagree with it. That's a fair basis for disagreement, but no one is right in those instances.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Samuel Fulmer and HapaPapa72

    by D o o d

    Sam: You're absolutely right about memorable quotes. All I remember with the originals is that it was always about saying,"May the Force be with you, Always" Then people fell in love with the movies and extracted other lines which went on to make the movies part of vocabulary and to some, culture. It was kinda cool! The only time I quote anything from the new Prequels is when I'm being derogatory and insulting!................................... Hapa: I'm glad you see the lighter side of it. :o)

  • April 5, 2010, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Revenge_of_Fett

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

    Please die.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Speaking of whiny fanboys...

    by Flip63Hole

    Seems like these great critiques hit a nerve with the Star Wars Underoo-wearing crowd...

  • April 5, 2010, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Star Wars Underoo-wearing crowd

    by Samuel Fulmer

    As prequel Lucas would write: Anakin-Master Obi-Wan that is funny. You have made me laugh. I could actually laugh to show that I am amused in a humourous way, but instead I will just verbally express this emotion which I am feeling.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:23 p.m. CST

    How Much Time Did He Waste On This?

    by Acquanetta

    The great irony here is that- forget the checklist of fanboy talking points- whatever drove him to do this sad little project is probably the real reason he hated the prequels. This whole "aspiring filmmaker/writer" fanboy mentality we've created is such a joke, although I'm always grateful for the laugh.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:30 p.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by --- Emperor ---

    You've raised an interesting point, and I'll happily explain it to you. There's nothing essentially wrote with science and/or religion. There's nothing wrong with combining the two. That being said, however, the way movies try to 'combine' them is usually idiotic to say the least. Ironically, Kenobi does provide a reasonably scientific explanation of the force in the Originals. He says (paraphrasing): "The force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field that surrounds us and binds the galaxy together." Here's the great irony: this simple, succinct and somewhat mystical explanation not only makes sense in terms of the story structure of original SW, it also makes sense scientifically. Many physicists talk about "dark energy" and "dark matter" and in fact, many physicists hypothesize that dark energy is what keeps the galaxy together (why don't you research this if you don't believe me). The galaxies in our universe are rotating so fast, that they would simply be ripped apart if it weren't for this hypothesized 'energy' field. What makes original SW so brilliant, is that Lucas (perhaps by sheer luck and pure inspiration) actually got the science correct as well as creating a mystical/religious/esoteric element within the Jedi order. Thus, the only element of 'faith' that the audience had to make, is that the jedi are trained to harness this energy and use it for good or evil. This was simple. It was logical. It was brilliant. Let's compare this to the prequel explanation. The prequels try to add some superficial 'scientific' depth to the entire 'force' concept, despite it being perfectly well developed in the originals. And, it is through this contrivance, that the entire concept breaks down, not only 'religiously' (as you put it), but yes, scientifically. Why? Simple. Qui Gon says "midichlorians are microscopic life forms that are inherent in all of us"...This immediately breaks down the cohesion of the original, and destroys the science, because it doesn't make sense at all, that microscopic life forms can maintain the rotational acceleration of a galaxy (the original explanation does). It makes no sense that Jedi can somehow harness these microscopic life forms and use them to their advantage...It only raises more questions than answers. For example, when a Jedi is trying to fling an object, are these 'life' forms being hurled around and collecting the object for the jedi? Or are these life forms somehow enhancing the Jedi's energy field prowess? It makes no sense whatsoever. It really doesn't. And even if there was a magical explanation that could somehow cause it to make sense, it's not given. And I won't go into the fact that there are plenty of microscopic lifeforms (such as bacteria) that have nothing to do with the force, unless this is what Lucas was going for. And this is the great irony. Not only did Lucas destroy the logic, simplicity and scientific verisimilitude of the original force concept, he completely undermined his own intentions by conjuring up an unscientific and illogical concept such as midichlorians. The bottom line is: It doesn't work both scientifically or mystically/religiously.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:30 p.m. CST

    People "waste" time critiqing film and TV

    by Samuel Fulmer

    all the time. How many "The philosophy of...." books have we seen about some film or tv project.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:31 p.m. CST

    What exactly is this unspoken friendship between Luke and Han?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Because they slapped each other on the arms once? That's it? That's all ya got? That one second of film displaces all the comaraderie between Anakin and Obi-Wan? really?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:31 p.m. CST

    What Ewan thought about playing Obi-Wan:

    by spud mcspud

    "What bothered me most was that everything was so deliberate. There was no spontaneity. Your job, as an actor, was just to get it out. I was frowning a lot. It just became a frowning exercise," he admitted. "After my initial excitement, the filmmaking process turned out to be the epitome of tedium," he said. "The work was so complex with all the special effects and stuff that I found myself hanging around for days." <P> Oh, and:<P> "I guess I'll repeat what Guinness said about doing the films: 'There's really not any psychological depth to this character; I basically just say the words and hope that the backgrounds are there and are right.'" <P> This was on Urban Cinefile, from just prior to THE PHANTOM MENACE's release.<P> REVENGE_OF_FETT - Even one of the fucking stars of the prequels admits here that there was virtually no characterisation, and that there's no depth to the character! Defend this tepid pile of shit all you want - even the fucking stars of the MOVIES THEMSELVES disagree with you!!<P> I hope you get to work with George Lucas some day. He'd REALLY like you in Lucasfilm - fawning sycophants always welcome.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:33 p.m. CST

    The biggest Prequel plot hole

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I never got why the Jedi took the clones. Okay they needed some soldiers or whatever, but didn't Yoda and the Jedi think, "Hmm, the Jedi who ordered these clones died mysteriously when he supposedly asked for them to be made in secret without the jedis knowledge." It just seemed like there was never a question as to should we take these clones, and could they turn on us.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:35 p.m. CST

    "That is exactly why I can't ever enjoy the prequels

    by Muki

    as a whole and why I personally choose to not even acknowledge them as part of the Star Wars universe." <BR><BR> Wait! You can do that? Awesome, from now on I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the prequels. There, I actually feel better already.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Emperor: "Nobody in that scene professed their undying love for

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Solo:"Or is it because of the way you feel about me?"</p><p>Isn't this also where she calls him "laserbrain"? You know, because the dialogue was so superior then?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Sam, the clone question

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    That was decided by Palpatine: "I will create a grand army of the Republic". The Jedi are like a monastary, they don't get to decide whether or not the Republic should take up an army.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:40 p.m. CST

    the dialogue was so superior then?

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Yeah. Give me one line of dialogue from the prequels that is superior to that one crap one from the OT. Oh I know, "You speak of the one that will bring balance to the force. Do you believe it's this...................boy???????" Yeah that rocks so much more.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Funny but...

    by Kremzeek

    His reviews are mostly dead on and make me laugh, but calling his character inspired is a joke. Sure it was "inspired" - by the Jerky Boys "Kissel" character. It's pretty much a direct rip off - even down to the stuff about the wife. Just sayin'...

  • April 5, 2010, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Emperor-- I think you're overthinking it.

    by StarWarsRedux

    Midichlorians are described as little more than conduits between living beings and the Force-- they don't create it, or manipulate it themselves (except in weird Sith immaculate conception plots). They simply "tell us the will of the Force", and provide a connection through which Jedi can harness its power. Again, I really don't see how it actually changes anything, or even comes close to contradicting Obi-Wan's speech from ANH. <p>Rotational acceleration? Whatever, man...

  • April 5, 2010, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Watched in three sittings.

    by blackwood

    Pretty funny, a bit repetitive. He belabors a few points, but is bang on about the dead-eyed romance and nonsense. Now to check out the Phantom Menace one.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Emperor, Han and Leia's love...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    So Han and Leia were dating in Episode IV? When the hell did that happen? All I remember her doing is insulting him and him saying things like "Sorry Princess", etc.</p><p>Han did say "Do you think a guy like me and girl like that...", but Luke quickly shoots him down and he seems to accept it.</p><p>The only time there's any spark between them was when she was repairing that thing and he stepped in with her. And then NOTHING until she says "I love you".</p><p>Now contrast that with all the time anakin spend with Padme from the first moment he said she was an angel, all the way to his firlelight profession of love, until she finally kisses him on Geonosis. But somehow that was a less developed romance?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:44 p.m. CST

    The Han-Luke friendship...

    by spud mcspud

    ...There's a line in the novelisations and some of thec early scripts where Han tells Luke thanks for coming back to save him, because being carbon frozen isn't like sleeping, it's like a wide-awake nothing, and he's grateful he has such friends now. They also make a big deal out of Han's last name being Solo, and how Luke hopes Han doesn't feel so alone any more now he has all these friends. The JEDI novelisation, by James Kahn, goes into this a little, and it shows from the outset that Han and Luke's friendship was cemented by the lengths Luke goes to find and save Han between the end of EMPIRE and the end of JEDI. In return, Han takes on the near-suicidal shuttle run to Endor, to ensure the shield generator is knocked out and that Luke can go knock out the Death Star (Han doesn't find out, until after Luke has told Leia about Vader being their father, that Luke has actually gone and surrendered to Vader yet). So, to recap: Luke believes in Han in A NEW HOPE. Han saves Luke's ass in return for Luke getting Han a fat cash reward from the Rebellion to pay off the debts Han and Chewie owe to Jabba. Then in EMPIRE, Han goes to save Luke after Luke gets Wampa-whacked, and in return, Luke goes after Han after Han gets carbon-frozen. The two meet again at Jabba's palace, where Han realises how much these Rebels care for him and have done for him, and so Han leads the Rebel strike force on Endor, knowing it's probably a big trap and there's every chance he could die. Han finally puts himself aside and submits to a greater purpose - the Rebellion.<P> And you don't think there's much of a friendship. Fucking watch both trilogies AGAIN, then come back and start critiquing shit, because you obviously don't have a fucking CLUE what's going on with these movies...

  • April 5, 2010, 12:46 p.m. CST

    spud mcspud,

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    So there was no depth to Ben Kenobi in the OT? I guess you just proved it with your quote right?

  • April 5, 2010, 12:47 p.m. CST

    I'm so sick of this argument.

    by Azlam Orlandu

    Just bring the damn films out to Blu-Ray already so even those who claim to hate them will buy it.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Sam, stealing visuals

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Every Star Wars geek knows Vader was nearly killed by lava. That has been lore since the first film came out in 1977.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Wanna Take Down Another Sacred Cow? I Nominate T2.

    by LaserPants

    Now THAT I would pay to see. TDK is unassailable and utterly brilliant; it should've been nominated (at the very least) and won best film of 2008. Avatar has already been criticized for it's faults, so it's not really a sacred cow; besides, some valid criticisms aside, Avatar is a really good movie. T2? Not so much. Not AT ALL, in fact.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Fett - about the romance...

    by spud mcspud

    ...For fuck's sake, two strong-willed people in love but obviously fighting it by being sarcastic with each other - that shit goes back to Shakespeare and beyond. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING - Beatrice and Benedick spend the entire play slagging each other off and winding each other up until at the end, they realise they love each other and just give in to it.<P> It's like the line Will Smith gives in BAD BOYS, where Marg Helgenberger and Joe Pantoliano are aerguing - Will Smith says "They should just bone and get that shit over with". EMPIRE was co-written by Leigh Brackett - who also wrote CASABLANCA, which is why the Han/Leia relationship is so spiky. Because it is JUST like the Bogey/Bacall relationship in CASABLANCA, and most of their movies.<P> If you honestly believe that the Anakin.Padme relationship is a better developed one than the Han/Leia one, you are emotionally retarded. Really. It's the only possible explanation.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:54 p.m. CST

    LaserPants, come on, let's not go through it again!

    by D.Vader

    The Dark Knight is definitely NOT unassailable.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Good point about Han's name

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Because Lucas was so much more subtle in '77. Han's last name is Solo, Luke's last name is Skywalker for fuck's sake! And Death Star? Seriously? I mean, even the title of the film Star Wars is cheesy. It sounds like 2 suns whipping fireballs at each other. He also subtly named the troops stormtroopers and gave Vader a Nazi helmet.</p><p>I ADORE Episode IV by the way, but this notion that it was Sophie's Choice and the prequels are Ernest Goes to Jail is completely retarded.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Fett - WTF are you talking about??

    by spud mcspud

    I quoted Ewan McGregor talking about his experience of playing Obi-Wan in THE PHANTOM MENACE. Which means the character of Obi-Wan AS IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE PHANTOM MENACE. Why the fuck are you talking about the OT Obi-Wan?? You are aware Ewan McGregor DIDN'T play the OT OBi-Wan, aren't you??<P> What the fuck do you mean by "So there was no depth to Ben Kenobi in the OT? I guess you just proved it with your quote right?" then? The quote WAS about Ewan playing Obi-Wan in TPM - you DO get that right?? <P> **rolls eyes in disbelief**

  • April 5, 2010, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Emperor---

    by Kremzeek

    You make excellent points. My problem with midichlorians is exactly what you describe. And, hell, even though I think it's stupid, I'd still be willing to accept it... if Lucas ever continued the explanation he set up... But he didn't. What we got was some After School Special with Anakin asking his quesiton way out of left field and then The Jinn starts going on about midichlorians. And we're left thinking "whaaa?" He sets it up so there are more questions now (just like you pointed out), but then... he never goes back to it. I mean, really, this is storywriting 101 here. But apparently Lucas gets a pass because he's a geekgod.

  • April 5, 2010, 12:59 p.m. CST

    I think I get the Prequel defender crowd

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I think they are the type that go for the idiosyncratic picks. Example: someone will say oh I think Spielberg's best film is Jaws, they say no way I mean come on the shart looked terrible, Hook is obviously the better film. Or Yeah Casablanca was okay, but there was some bad rear projection work in the car scene, so when it comes to great movie romances, there is no way Casblance is better than What Women Want.

  • April 5, 2010, 1 p.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by --- Emperor ---

    Dude, your post is contradictory. I am not overthinking anything. My point is: Lucas tried to overthink it with the prequels, and that's what destroyed the entire force concept. My entire point was that the simplicity of the original made it scientifically plausible and defensible. This new jargon he pissed out of his ass is nonsensical rubbish. You say that midichlorians are conduits between life and the force (remember, this is your interpretation of it); but this doesn't make sense scientifically. It simply turns the laws of physics into a bad disney joke. There is not a single shred of scientific evidence that would support the idea that living entities could somehow communicate between other life forms and energy, acting as 'gauges'. This isn't how physics works. On the other hand, Obi-Wans original explanation, does make sense and does work in accordance to the laws of physics. The mind can generate energy and it can have a subtle influence over matter. The brain and mind are not the same, remember this (and this has been proven in several labs). Thus, Lucas was going for the idea that a trained jedi can use the force (energy field) that are indeed inherent in all matter (remember that matter is energy). Adding to this is simply redundant and nonsensical, and I am not a geek who is 'overthinking' it. I am simply answering WHY midichlorians don't work, and yes, this does require some thought to explain it. But when you SEE the films, you don't THINK about it, you simply shake your head and wonder why Lucas chose to fuck the entire concept up.

  • April 5, 2010, 1 p.m. CST

    So you take a film defined but greatness

    by Samuel Fulmer

    point out its few flaws, and claim that a film defined by its flaws is actually the superior film.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:01 p.m. CST

    And if you're referring to what Guinness said...

    by spud mcspud

    about Obi-Wan having no depth - well, this is an ex-Shakespearean actor essentially bitching because he was the darling of Ealing comedy and British cinema, and suddenly he's a bit-part player in some insufferable young Yank's space movie - a young Yank who is a fucking TERRIBLE director of actors, BTW, because he's more obsessed with production design and SFX than with honest emotional performances - and he has no clue why this Lucas chap is so useless with the actors. <P> All this said, it still does NOT explain why the relationships in the PT are so much worse than those in the OT. Could it be because the real sets and props of the OT gave the actors a more real world in which to base their characters? Or because that Lucas was still untested and not yet full of his own self-importance (still not exactly King of the HBox Office yet) he was actually a marginally better director doing ANH than the gargantuan gizzarded megalomaniac that made the PT with one eye on merchandising and the other on his PS2 demo-level graphics??

  • April 5, 2010, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Spud

    by StarWarsRedux

    (1) Leigh Brackett did not write "Casablanca". She did write "The Big Sleep", the classic Bogey & Bacall film. Also, Lauren Bacall wasn't in "Casablanca", either. There, Bogey was romancing Ingrid Bergman. <p>(2) Yes, Shakespeare wrote a lot of plays about strong-willed lovers. But he also wrote a lot about star-cross'd romance, the type we see in the Prequels. It's there in "Romeo & Juliet", there's hints of it between Hamlet and Ophelia, or even Othello and Desdemona. And guess what? It almost always turns out badly. So frankly, the Anakin & Padme thing works well, for what it is-- an antique, courtly, DOOMED love affair.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Yeah, the "blast sheild"

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    That always bothered me and if Plinkett had any fuckin' balls he'd admit it bothered him too. What is the fucking point of having a giant metal plate on the front of a pilot helmet? But oh no, we can't criticize ANYTHING in the OT, that would be sacriligeous. *eyeroll*

  • April 5, 2010, 1:05 p.m. CST

    "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

    by savagedave

    Not just the worst line in Star Wars, but possibly the worst line in all of cinema.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Han and Leia are like Like Casablanca?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Did you seriously just write that shit? Bogey and Becall's characters had ALREADY BEEN in a relationship! he was bitter that she left without saying anything. THAT'S why he was pissy. She wasn't pissy at all to him, in fact she was pretty apologetic. No, NOTHING like Han and Leia.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Emp, it still makes more sense than Avatar

    by StarWarsRedux

    Remember, this is a series that casually dismisses basic laws of science by the sheer existence of lightsabers, laser bolts that travel slower than the speed of light, and SOUND in the vacuum of SPACE. So what if its pretend pseudo-scientific jargon doesn't match up with this big cosmic aspect you're fond of? At the end of the day it's all just a sci-fi spin on Carlos Castaneda mysticism, so if Lucas wants to put a little bit of it under a make-believe microscope, more power to him.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Spud McSpud, next time read what you quote:

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    "I guess I'll repeat what Guinness said about doing the films: 'There's really not any psychological depth to this character; I basically just say the words and hope that the backgrounds are there and are right.'"

  • April 5, 2010, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Blast shield

    by Kremzeek

    I always assumed there was some sort of technical readout or something on the inside. Ya know, in case a pilot crashes and needs to get survival info (nearest water source etc). Of course, this was in my head. But the scene makes more sense that way.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:11 p.m. CST

    Um, Fett...

    by Kremzeek

    McSpud was quoting McGregor, who was quoting Guiness. Read it again, bro.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:12 p.m. CST

    New Version of AICN Power Mod (v1.1.0)

    by _Maltheus_

    I've released a 1.1.0 version of the AICN Power Mod with a bunch of new features, in case any of you are interested.<br /><br />* Rollover status bar replaced with control panel, just under "Top Talkbacks."<br />* Talkback title now appears in browser title bar so you known which talkback you're posting to, without having to scroll up.<br />* Favorite posters highlighting. Kind of the opposite of the ban list, it'll highlight posts by the users you most like to read (in a different color than your highlight).<br />* Referenced post count statistic. A new statistic to count the posts someone is referring to you in.<br />* A talkback history showing the posts you've recently posted to (up to a configurable number).<br />* A post summary, with a linkable list of your posts so you can quickly jump to where you left off.<br />* Assorted bug fixes.<br /><br />And of course, all the original features are still there:<br /><br />* Highlight your posts and any post where your user name is referenced.<br />* Automatically inserts newlines into your comments. No more manually adding the < p > or < br > tag.<br />* Fixes the subject cut-off bug. Everything you can fit in the subject field will be posted as you'll be properly limited to the 64 character maximum.<br />* Set up a personal ban list, collapsing the posts of people you've had enough of.<br />* Collapses posts with keywords in it, like 'spoil-er', the names of shows you aren't caught up on or political figures you don't want to hear about.<br />* Expands the size of the comment area (configurable).<br />* Deletes posts by retarded "first" posters (and second and third -- configurable).<br /><br />Get the script (requires firefox + greasemonkey add on) and checkout the screen shots here:<br /><br />http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/72709<br /><br />This is not endorsed by AICN, but it's just a javascript text file, so if you don't trust it, you can review it yourself (or get someone with a little programming know-how to do that for you).<br /><br />Enjoy!

  • April 5, 2010, 1:12 p.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux - Cheers

    by spud mcspud

    Brainfart city! Yep, it WAS THE BIG SLEEP rather than CASABLANCA. Getting mixed up. Ah well... ;D

  • April 5, 2010, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Citizen Kane is just awful

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I mean come one, that shot with the bird where it doesn't have an eye. That is film making at it's worse. There is no way that film stands up against the likes of Manos the Hands of Fate or even Troll 2.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Emperor's ignorance:

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Mitochondria, the inspiration for midiclorians:"Although most of a cell's DNA is contained in the cell nucleus, the mitochondrion has its own independent genome. Further, its DNA shows substantial similarity to bacterial genomes.""The endosymbiotic relationship of mitochondria with their host cells was popularized by Lynn Margulis.[43] The endosymbiotic hypothesis suggests that mitochondria descended from bacteria that somehow survived endocytosis by another cell, and became incorporated into the cytoplasm. The ability of these bacteria to conduct respiration in host cells that had relied on glycolysis and fermentation would have provided a considerable evolutionary advantage. In a similar manner, host cells with symbiotic bacteria capable of photosynthesis would have had an advantage. The incorporation of symbiotes would have increased the number of environments in which the cells could survive. This symbiotic relationship probably developed 1.7[44]-2[45] billion years ago."[11]"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitochondria</p><p>Sound fucking familiar?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Quint

    by secretcylon

    You should watch these again if you have the time (and haven't already). It's much funnier the second time. The first viewing was just taking I was just taking it all in and being overwhelmed and comparing it to TPM and Trek reviews (which I LOVE),. This is REALLY funny the second time. I was laughing out loud the second time and actually thinking it was better than TPM review. How can anyone not love the section where he compares the Dooku/Anankin/Obi Wan duel to a video game? Great, great, work.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Samuel Fulmer

    by secretcylon

    Yes it's Manos... The Hands of Fate!

  • April 5, 2010, 1:24 p.m. CST

    FETT- I don't have an issue with that but

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I think that some don't like how what seemed like a much more spiritual thing in the original films is turned into a science lesson in the prequels. It feels more like an explanation akin to Star Trek than Star Wars. Like I said, I would've rather have seen Anakin do some cool scary force powerful stuff, instead of racing a go cart around and not being able to beat up another Jedi until ROTS. Honestly his being all powerful seemed more like talk than reality.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:24 p.m. CST

    drstrange, yes that's exactly what the fuck I said

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    GUINESS said HIS VERSION of Kenobi HAD NO PSYCHOLOGICAL DEPTH! Since Spud thinks quoting the actor the played the part is undisputed proof positive that the character sucked, then he inadvertantly proved that Kenobi has ALWAYS SUCKED! Do YOU undestand now?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:24 p.m. CST

    'midi' what?

    by D o o d

    I have a midi system whos volume can be turned up to 11. Is that any good?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Or Hands....the hands of fate!

    by Samuel Fulmer

  • April 5, 2010, 1:26 p.m. CST

    But Guiness did bring some depth

    by Samuel Fulmer

    But then again he's a much better actor than Ewan.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Ugggg

    by MrPoop

    I just can't stand that voice and his bitchy whining. I don't give a damn what any of you say, I enjoyed the prequels.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:28 p.m. CST

    I like the actual reviews.

    by Ingeld

    But the abusive women crap has got to go. Humor requires a certain amount of identification for it to be funny. (This is something Plinkett should understand) If you find abusing women to be funny than you really need to ask yourself why. The answer is probably not very pretty.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:31 p.m. CST

    I thought

    by secretcylon

    Guiness was really enthused about ANH and really supported Lucas?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Emperor has made good points. Up until...

    by D.Vader

    He suggested the OT's approach to the Force works within the realm of physics. Sorry, but I don't think telekinesis has been scientifically proven just yet.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Ingeld, yes Plinkett should heed his own advice

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I can make a stupid voice and edit his reviews and say "What the fuck is going on here with the women in his basement? Who's the protagonist here? Am I supposed to identify with the serial killer? he should have a comic relief sidekick to help explain the plot and create an amiable atmosphere the viewer can enjoy."

  • April 5, 2010, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Can somone make a 90 minute video

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Supporting AOTC. Is that even possible. I would love to watch it if someone here would be willing to make it.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Where Lucas actually IS a legend...

    by SK229

    is as the person who gathered people like Ed Catmull, John Lassetter, Alvy Ray-Smith, Ben Burtt, Tomlinson Holman, etc. to one place to basically spend ENORMOUS SUMS OF MONEY ON RESEARCH. This is what bothers me about the people who harp on about the prequels and then go on to describe how Lucas is such an utter failure. While I really think those movies suck, I can't blame the guy for wanting to cynically take back some money from an industry which he basically pushed forward into the digital age on his own dime. So many of the things we take for granted that allow us to create on a desktop really came from the research done at "Kerner Optical", ILM, Sprocket Systems, Lucasarts, THX, the EditDroid team... if you do any kind of creative work on a computer, take a tour through all the app icons you use most and then read Droidmaker: George Lucas and the Digital Revolution to see what Lucas' real legacy is. Understand that up that point, no individual in the movie business had pumped that much of his personal fortune into pure research. Literally every other page of that book ends with a sentence like this: ... "so-and-so became obsessed with where else this wire removal software could go... he later created PHOTOSHOP." It's also interesting to get such an inside view of Lucasfilm and its many spin-offs to the point where you literally feel like you're sitting there in a room with these guys as they contemplate the problem of 'jaggies' on computer images. Then some guy who really isn't even close to the problem has a eureka moment about point sampling randomly over time/space and a revolutionary moment in the history of computer generated images is born. To me, the fact that people could get paid to contemplate such things and were given the time and resources to solve them is where George Lucas stepped up to the plate after the success of Star Wars and put his money where his mouth is.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:35 p.m. CST

    secretcylon, there was a rumor..

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    From WAY back in the day, that Guiness HATED the role so much that he demand to be killed in the second act so he didn't have to apear in the third. I honestly don't know if that is true or not, but both Guiness and Ford HATE Star Wars and think it's completely stupid and beneath them. Does that mean it is? Hmmmmm, tell us Spud, what do you think?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:35 p.m. CST

    @REVENGE_OF_FETT

    by silents47

    ...as well as any of the other people who claim to be SW fanatics while not knowing shit about it - To the Jedi, there IS no difference between love and "attachment," as is pretty clear from reading ANY of the books, novelizations, comics, or ANYTHING about the Jedi. A quick scan of Wookieepedia would tell you that. Nomi and Arden Sunrider, Kirana Ti and Kam Solusar, Luke and Callista, Luke and Mara, Kell and Tyria, Corran and Mirax... there are plenty of Jedi who were excommunicated, kicked out of their respective Orders, shunned by other Jedi or forced out of their homes for doing no more than loving each other (And before anyone whines about the NJO couples I just mentioned, all of them got yelled at or shunned by non-NJO Jedi, whether in person or through holocrons). With each of those couples I just mentioned, they spent plenty of time doing things separately from each other and never even questioned their loyalty to the light side or the Order, or their loyalty to their duties. Hell, Corran was told not to come back to the Academy after he left to SAVE A FUCKING LIFE! I'm a ridiculously obsessed SW fan (I'm designing a lightsaber, inside and out, for a computer graphics class, with each each crystal, the style, the length, etc. chosen for specific lore reasons), and I can accept that Plinkett's reviews, while 11 years late, are easily the most insightful reviews I've seen of the PT, even if I end up skipping half of the annoying hostage crap and dead cheerleader jokes.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:36 p.m. CST

    FETT talks bullshit

    by cool_britannia79

    I can't read this crap anymore. You actually think there's no chemistry between Han and Leia until she says I love you?! For me, that chemistry is the backbone of Empire. When Han insists Leia evacuates as Stormtroopers invade Echo Base, classic example of Han showing his true feelings. I can sit and listen to you nitpick examples to try and defend the hurrendously shitty prequels, but when you wilfully ignore major plot points from the original trilogy to lessen the prequels failure as narrative journeys, I draw the line. You're a timewasting cretin, a complete fucking jar-jar.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Guiness was not enthused about ANH

    by D o o d

    He was helping out a young director who really wanted him in the role. Guiness also, reportedly, took no money for his role but accepted a percentage because lucas would not have been able to afford someone like Guiness back then. Guiness was known for his generosity in the industry. He was a very humble and classy guy.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:36 p.m. CST

    The prequels may have been made and they

    by Ingeld

    may be canon, but not for me. The SW universe is contained solely in the first three movies. Empire is the best of all them in how it was put together, but really ANH is all I need to enjoy SW. It is the purest and best story telling of all of them.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:37 p.m. CST

    These reviews are not so much about...

    by ObiBen

    ...a fanboy nitpicking 10 or 8 years old movies, but rather a dissection of the dead blockbuster and what went horribly wrong in hollywood. People used to blame Jaws and Star Wars at the time, but we still manage to get clever entertaining movies once in a while. But since Jurassic Park (or maybe Batman) things got progressively worse. Comparison between the original SW movies and the prequels serves as a perfect illustration.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:37 p.m. CST

    As funny as it was, it took him 8 years to realize this?

    by orcus

    Lordy, these point were brought up Aeons ago, did he just get the memo?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:38 p.m. CST

    SK229 I agree

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Lucas is a modern Walt Disney (At least at one time having the talent to pick talented people), but he lost his directoral touch after Star Wars.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:39 p.m. CST

    ObiBen-I actually blame

    by Samuel Fulmer

    The Summer of 1996. That was the true beggining of the souless corporate blockbusters (Independance Day, Twister, etc.).

  • April 5, 2010, 1:40 p.m. CST

    And the prequels

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Are more of a product of the souless cinema of 1996 then of George Lucas the trailblazer of the mid-70's-early 80's.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:41 p.m. CST

    whoops

    by silents47

    meant Andur Sunrider, not Arden. Brain fart.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:41 p.m. CST

    RE: REVENGE_of_FETT

    by Ingeld

    Excellent comment in regard to Plinkett's misogynistic humor. Who are we supposed to identify with, indeed.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:41 p.m. CST

    cool britannia, is that what I said?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Are you sure? I think you should go back and read it again because I'm pretty damn sure I mentioned the scene in which Han and Leia nearly kiss. So think back....was that BEFORE or AFTER she said she loved him? Hmmmmmmmm

  • April 5, 2010, 1:42 p.m. CST

    REVENGE_OF_FETT

    by Samuel Fulmer

    When you speak do you sound like the Outback Steakhouse pitchman, or the cool menacing Boba Fett from before Lucas went back and altered the films in 2004?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Retort @Quint

    by Atomica

    Ok...point taken, I suppose it's no different to say one should get over loving a film than they should stop hating it. And I realize the OT are near and dear to (All of) Our Hearts...being the first real Epic Saga in Film for the then emerging geek crowd. But the hate rhetoric for the Prequels is old as fuck by now. You don't hear the prequel lovers shoving their insistence that they're good films down peoples' throats. I'm not going to pretend the films are perfect, but there's a strong presence of SW Fans who indeed love the prequels. That doesn't mean we like shit movies either. Say what you will about the story itself, but the films were created in the highest quality available at the time, both in terms of Production and Design. The Costumes, Effects, Score, CGI, Make-up and Sets were absolutely stellar. I know that doesn't necessarily make a great film, but it's certainly tells me that George Lucas wasn't dialing it in.<br> The reality is though, neither side is going to be convinced by now that their opinion isn't valid. It's been long enough that, the Haters still Hate them, and the Lovers still Love them and that's the harsh reality of the the Prequels. I'm not trying to sway anyone with my ideas. So maybe "get over it" isn't a valid statement. But i'm just tired of hearing the Prequel hate. At this point, no one has pointed out anything new. Hell, every point that Plinkett makes has been made by a Writer for this Site, A member of this site's Talkback or by One of my Geek Friends. Plinkett simply recorded it and put it on the Web for the Masses to see.<br> All I want is a ceasefire of sorts. Let's put a nail in the coffin...some of us will recognize it as the SW Universe...And the rest can relegate it to the same part that the Star Wars Holiday Special resides in. Maybe "Fan-Fiction". Okay.../rant over

  • April 5, 2010, 1:44 p.m. CST

    re:Samuel Fulmer

    by Ingeld

    I agree that ID4 lack a lot of soul, but Jeff Goldblum's character and Pullman's president were much more interesting figures than any single character in the prequels. That's true and considering that as you say the movie lacked a great deal, that is a sad commentary on the prequels.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:45 p.m. CST

    @Samuel Fulmer

    by silents47

    How are those even related?! If you hadn't noticed from all of his previous posts, they're COMPLETELY different characters. How dare you lump two genetically identical Mandalorian bounty hunters into the same pile? For shame.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Orcus

    by secretcylon

    He was just making these reviews and then they started gaining all of this unexpected attention. I think he did his Trek reviews first which are AMAZING. He acknowledges in those videos how silly it is that he is posting these so long after the fact.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:49 p.m. CST

    @Atomica

    by silents47

    Plinkett's views might have all been said before, but not all at once, and not with humor rather than standard fanboy nerdrage. Also, these days, isn't it more about the delivery than the content? I mean, you and REVENGE_OF_FETT suck off the PT for its fancy CGI, cast, and the fact that it's related to SW in any way... the content clearly matters very little to you.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Secretcylon

    by orcus

    In that case then there is no problem. It just stuck Orcus as odd that the hate kicked in years after the fact

  • April 5, 2010, 1:50 p.m. CST

    Guinness was VERY PISSED OFF about this character dying...

    by SK229

    if I recall correctly, it required some serious actor-ego handling on Lucas and Kurtz's part. They realized AFTER Guinness signed on (might have even been during production) that all Kenobi did was stand around for the last half hour of the film and that it would have a lot more impact to kill him off. They had to convince Guinness that his character would be much more memorable this way. <p>Also, any hatred on Guinness part for Stars had a lot more to do with his own ego wanting to be recognized for his more 'actorly' parts than something as schlocky as Star Wars. It's the same reason Tom Hanks wants you to forget The Burbs and remember him for Saving Private Ryan. Often, the work that is important to an artist is not important to an audience... artists can be real morons like this for not being able to set aside their own concerns to see where and why the audience identifies with certain parts of their work more strongly than others.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:51 p.m. CST

    --- Emperor ---

    by Mr.Stiggs

    Why so angry? I’m only suggesting that If the author of these critical video submissions is as brilliant as he thinks he is (and as much of a genius as others have suggested) then perhaps he should direct his energy to something more positive like creating his own blockbuster movie franchise. It's also amazing to me that you would have the audacity to suggest that any other talkback post is lacking a coherent point. Is there actually any form of rationality in any of your responses or are they just vile gibberish spewed from a juvenile, self loathing jackass. Do the math.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:51 p.m. CST

    EVERYBODY THINKS THE PREQUELS SUCK

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

    even the ones who defend them secretly think they do.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:51 p.m. CST

    I would love to see Harry Knowles do

    by Samuel Fulmer

    a 90 minute review of AOTC now. Didn't he see some kind of early bootleg copy and gush that it was really good, or something to that effect? What does he think now?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:53 p.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by --- Emperor ---

    I agree with you that the OT had its own fair share of scientific issues (such as light-speed travel via space-ships, lightsabers, death stars, etc). Firstly, you must understand that in the OT, Lucas wisely chose to skip the details of the concepts that didn't seem plausible. There were limited explanations given, only so the story could move forward. No, of course one can argue endlessly on the scientific issues at hand, such as the alien races in both films, the fact that all planets magically seemed to have breathable air and earth-like gravity etc. All of this, however, is beside the point. Lucas didn't start explaining these issues because he felt he needed to deepen the story. It wasn't necessary. The story was deep enough, and the rest was simply there to serve the story. Yes there was some eye candy, but most of it was there for a reason: to serve the story. How does midichlorians serve the story? If anything, by attempting to add 'science' (this isn't science, but let's just assume midichlorians are scientific), he actually detracted even more from the originals, by trying to add contrive some form of legitimacy to the universe. No matter how you look at it, it's completely stupid. You might argue that midichlorians are important because in Ep 3 Palpatine talks to Anakin about how a sith could create life via midichlorians. But midichlorians are unnecessary for this. He could simply say: "The dark lord was able to use the force to create life". This would have made so much more sense. In fact, now that I think of it, the speech about "using the force to influence the midichlorians (which are life forms themselves) to create life" is a circular argument. It states that a sith can create life through life (rather than through energy). It's laughable and illogical not to mention philosophically invalid. But not only that, it is artistically and conceptually foolish, because it doesn't add anything at all. Here's an example to illustrate my point: As soon as you stop the story to try to add validity to a concept only to create more confusion, you undermine the entire concept as well as the story. The originals wisely avoided this, and the very little explanations provided sufficed to move the story onward. Some people consider the entire subplot of Palpatine's endless political maneuvering to finally gain power halfway through the final prequel film to be brilliant. But if you stop to think of it, it's a complete waste of celluloid. The original movies have barely any wasted scenes (if any). The prequels have plenty of wasteful scenes (pod race, darth maul fight which is meaningless, qui-gon/obi-wan dynamic is useless, the entire jedi councel is mostly relegated to sitting around waiting for the republic to collapse, Yoda is reduced to an incompetent acrobatic frog, Dooku is pretty much useless, etc.). Let's look at the Originals: All main characters (Han, Luke, Leia, Darth) serve an important and crucial purpose. You take them out, you undermine the story. And please, no fanboy coming here telling me that we need Qui Gon to learn about the disappearing trick. No, we don't need qui gon. That was just lucas trying to milk the dead character in order to convince you that he is useful. Anyway, back to the originals. The robots in the original films are useful and serve to advance the story (eg artoo projects image of leia pleading for help). What does artoo do in the prequels? He is mostly reduced to a beeping side-kick. Look at Jar Jar. He is completely useless to the entire movies. And no, we do not need a jar jar in order to have Palpatine elected. That is another contrivance. Look at C3PO. In originals he is useful, as he serves as a means of communication between different races. What does he do in the originals, besides, well, nothing? Getting his head blown off a few times. Yes, this happened in the Originals also, but that was just an additional comedic element, ON TOP of the fact that he served the story. Do you understand how this relates to the midichlorian concept? It does't add to the science. It doesn't add to the religion. It doesn't add to the story. It doesn't add to the mythology. In fact, it mostly detracts. That's the grand tragedy of these prequels. They don't add anything, they either are redundant, or they detract. Now, I am sure some of you are thinking that all I am doing is complaining. Well, here's an idea of what Lucas could have done: In episode 1, kenobi is finishing his training with yoda, barely passes the finals (and we see these finals, we aren't just told about them). He becomes a jedi at about 1/4th of the way through. The rest of the film (3/4) is devoted to him meeting, liking and training a young, confident, energetic and curious kid perhaps to the disdain of the jedi counsel and yoda (or maybe just yoda)...Meanwhile a politician manipulates his way to become chancellor (requiring about 1/2 of the running time). Meanwhile, anakin is growing up from kid into young adult (roughly by the half way point), and begins a dangerous friendship with palpatine. Through this connection, he meets a senator by the name of Padme, and initially he fends her off and avoids her, because he knows what this could mean if he falls for her. She likes this cocky, confident, and sarcastic young man, and she is drawn more to him by virtue of the fact that he pushes her away...(this is the poetry that Lucas might have been thinking of but failed to deliver. This would have been a reverse mirroring of the original Leia/Han story, where this time, it's the female pursuing the male)...Anyway, by the end of the film, Palpatine has started a war (the details don't matter, the point is, he is using the war to stay in power and exercise totalitarian power, similar to Hitler in the late 1930s). Also, by the end of this first film, Anakin has learnt much from Obi-wan, they have become good friends, and he is slowly becoming ready for the jedi trials. The film ends on this note. Now this premise alone is better than the entire trilogy, because we still have 2 movies to go through, to witness how this man turned to the dark side. We have 2 movies devoted to clone wars, darth vader's purge of the jedi, palpatine's rise to an all-powerful emperor, etc. This is what the prequels should have been. This is why people are so fucking pissed off, because a great opportunity was completely wasted with useless expository dialogue, meaningless side quests/missions (eg plot to kill pade, which still doesn't make sense, trade federation, obi-wan wasting time hunting a bounty hunter, etc). Notice how the OT, while not as complex in terms of story structure, was far more effective? The simply story I came up with in the space of a few seconds (I made it up as I went), makes sense, fits in with the originals, and leaves 2 movies for the audience to really explore this universe and more importantly, explore the love between anakin and padme, explore the break down between anakin and obiwan, and explore the rise of the empire. It's simple, not meaningless side tracking of contrived midichlorians, pod races, and other meaningless shit nobody cares about, but infinitely more interesting and engaging.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Yeah Harry was involved in an extremely shady deal...

    by D.Vader

    Where he watched a bootleg copy with someone in a hotel room. The way I remember it, that story amounted to a mini-scandal that got someone else in a lot of trouble?

  • April 5, 2010, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Orcus, exactly..

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Plinkett isn't actually saying anything new, he's just repackaged the same talking points.</p><p>As I've said a few times now, the prequels definitely have issues. They aren't issue of intent, they are issues of Lucas seemingly in a hurry to harvest the raw materials so he can start digitally editing them which is what he enjoys most.</p><p>He started off earnest enough. He did most everything right, but some things didn't get ushed hard enough to where they needed to be to cross from his brain to ours. that's what art is, it's communication and in some ways that communication got muddied up in the transistion.</p><p>I can watch teh prequels and know what George was going for, even if I acknowledge that he occassionally missed the mark.</p><p>For example, the romantic dialogue is crap. Even the hardest fans know this. I get what he was trying to convey in these scenes. He sort of achieves some of it, but mostly it really jolts you out of the movie because it's so bizarre.</p><p>Let me provide an example. When Anakin says "You are in my soul, tormenting me." That sounds really fucking weird to us. It certainly doesn't sound like love.</p><p>I think what Lucas is trying to convey there is that Anakin is very torn by his feelings for Padme. Anakin actually loves the Jedi Order, but his feelings for her is making him want to break a central law of the Jedi. This is Lucas' version of The Thorn Birds. ;)</p><p>Lucas himself has explained that neither of these young people have been afforded the luxury of exploring romantic relationships. Well Padme has a slight history, which is why she's in a bit more control.</p><p>But to Anakin, Padme represents another love he is forbidden from having. All he needs is the proper prodding to make him turn that frustration into anger and direct it at the Jedi.</p><p>The story is brilliant, the execution is flawed.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Oh wow, Revenge_of_Fett finally imploded

    by We_like_it_VERY_MUCH

    All it took was one last Prequel TB to set it off. So sad when that happens. <P> Bicycle Sharer gets +1,000 internets for his masterful troll slaying and a +500 bonus for the "mjeans" joke alone. <P> Loved the review btw. His TPM review was a bit more earnest somehow, but he was still spot on. I think TPM just cuts deeper wounds than AOTC ever could.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Guiness didn't hate Star Wars

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I just think he hated that post-Star Wars that was what he was most known for, when he felt he had done many more better acted roles than Obi-Wan. If anything, I think Guniess actually hated and pitied some of the SW fanatics. I think he actually sat down for hours talking to some fan who bragged to him that he had seen the film thousands of times.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Hey people, let's start using paragraph breaks

    by D.Vader

    Type < p > but without the spaces so you can break up your posts and make them not look like solid, imposing blocks of text.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Orcus

    by secretcylon

    Also, If you read the info that comes with the reviews, you'll see that it's not all hate. It's his love of Trek and Star Wars that compels him to do these reviews. He actually seems like a bigger Trek fan...

  • April 5, 2010, 1:56 p.m. CST

    @Mr. Stiggs

    by silents47

    Am I unqualified to call Uwe Boll a shitty director even though I've never directed a movie with anywhere near his budget? Not at all, and I don't think you can even argue with that. Plinkett doesn't need to make his own PT to call Lucas's stupid and unfocused... he just needs to be able to recognize when something is stupid and unfocused. I've written fanfics, original stories and essays with a focus, so I feel that I can expect the same from Lucas. Plinkett apparently feels the same way. I'd like to hear your opinion on why you need to do EXACTLY what someone else did to know that they did it poorly.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:57 p.m. CST

    @D.Vader

    by silents47

    The harder it is to read, the stronger the point. I thought you had been around long enough to know this by now.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Stanley Kubrick to rise from his grave

    by Samuel Fulmer

    And pronounce George Lucas the worst director of all time. Film at eleven.

  • April 5, 2010, 1:59 p.m. CST

    If we're all unqualified to call something bad

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Because we haven't directed a film, then we can't call something brilliant either by that same logic.

  • April 5, 2010, 2 p.m. CST

    silents47

    by D.Vader

    I might buy that if there had been any history of it being true in the past 14 years. But usually, no =).

  • April 5, 2010, 2 p.m. CST

    George Lucas to return to film

    by silents47

    And remake 2001: A Space Odyssey. From Lucas: "The dialogue wasn't stilted enough the first time around. I've already cast Sam Worthington and Hayden Christensen, and am looking to round out the cast with Megan Fox as HAL."

  • April 5, 2010, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Do you guys think we'll ever get a do-over?

    by We_like_it_VERY_MUCH

    Like, maybe after Lucas dies, someone who knows what they're doing will rewrite and remake the first three episodes? If so, who? <P> Also, would you rather have a well done VII-IX trilogy instead? Who should make it?

  • April 5, 2010, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Samual, qualifications

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I'm not suggesting people can't say that they like or dislike things.</p><p>The point I was trying to make is that going a step further and instructing someone how to improve a massively successful film when you have FUCK-ALL screenwriting credit (or apparently really bad screenwriting credit as someone else mentioned), is kinda fucked up. and I then have a right to critique the critique.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:05 p.m. CST

    @We_like_it_VERY_MUCH

    by silents47

    GL has left pretty specific instructions for nobody to ever, EVER remake I-VI, and for nobody to ever film anything taking place after ROTJ without him being there. Hopefully, whoever inherits his estate shits on those instructions and hires a decent director to film the Thrawn Trilogy or the Wraith Squadron books (if they want to make something that actually makes you care about the characters, unlike the PT)

  • April 5, 2010, 2:06 p.m. CST

    @REVENGE_OF_FETT

    by silents47

    How is it okay for you to critique the critique if you haven't recorded 160 minutes of review that have been viewed millions of times?

  • April 5, 2010, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Emperor, you lost me at the fan-fiction.

    by StarWarsRedux

    Well, actually long before that, but seriously. If you're going to post a long-winded rant like that, at least use paragraph-breaks to make it easier to read. <p>Anyway, this is all beginning to sound like the same old "I wanted to see Vader killing Jedi left and right" complaints, and I've never bought it.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Fett-

    by Kremzeek

    Yeah, I see ya now. No need to get all hot under the collar. I don't think I said anything that would warrant you getting pissy at me. But then again, its AICN, so... whatever. It's cool.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:08 p.m. CST

    No Star Wars film will ever be remade

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Lucas may continue to tweak. We actually know for a fact that the Yoda puppet has been replaced by the digital Yoda from Episodes 2 and 3 for example. But refilmed? No fuckin' way.</p><p>It's hard to imagine that there won't be any more Star Wars films though, even ones made by other people with Lucas only overseeing them. I still have faith that we'll have a "middle trilogy" between Episodes 3 and 4. I think that's why the series won't use any major characters.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:08 p.m. CST

    But FETT

    by Samuel Fulmer

    That is the saddest thing, a guy with terrible screen writing ability can see the obvious, and George Lucas can't. But that's what happens when you lose your touch, everyone but you sees the obvious.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:09 p.m. CST

    silent,

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Make up your mind. Do you need extensive experience in the field to express an opinion or not?

  • April 5, 2010, 2:10 p.m. CST

    @REVENGE_OF_FETT

    by silents47

    What stories could they possibly film in that time period that would actually be interesting? It's basically the most boring 18 years of galactic history, unless you want to watch more politics and trade blockades (which you might, as you did like the PT).

  • April 5, 2010, 2:11 p.m. CST

    @REVENGE_OF_FETT

    by silents47

    One of the things I said was completely sarcastic. I'll let you guess which.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:11 p.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by --- Emperor ---

    I agree with you about the paragraphs. What's the code to seperate paragraphs? I haven't memorized it.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:12 p.m. CST

    Wait...

    by silents47

    I'm an ass. Force Unleashed takes place during that time. FUCK they should film that.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Wait... WHAT?!?

    by We_like_it_VERY_MUCH

    Are they really replacing Yoda w/ CG in EMPIRE and JEDI?

  • April 5, 2010, 2:14 p.m. CST

    A middle trilogy film

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Make each film about one character: A Vader film, a Yoda film, and maybe a Obi Wan film or if that would be too dull, maybe a Palpatine film.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:14 p.m. CST

    <p> = paragraph break

    by StarWarsRedux

  • April 5, 2010, 2:16 p.m. CST

    < p > no spaces in between

    by D.Vader

  • April 5, 2010, 2:16 p.m. CST

    rather: < p >, but without the spaces

    by StarWarsRedux

    Although apparently, I made a paragraph break inside the subject line of that message. <p>Cool.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Silent-

    by Kremzeek

    Force Unleashed is some great storytelling (well, in comparison to most of the SW movies - I'm looking at you Eps 1-3, and most of 6). What it really proves is that Lucas is a revolutionary visionary but he can't tell a coherent story anymore to save his soul. He needs a creative team to come in and bring it together. When that happens, SW is awesome. It doesn't happen enough is the problem. I'm down for SW in any time period as long as it's told well - and I believe it can be if in the right hands, which unfortunately at this point, is not its creator.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Let me try something.... <p> This is just a test...

    by StarWarsRedux

  • April 5, 2010, 2:18 p.m. CST

    No, no sorry.

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Yoda is being replaced in EPISODE 1 ONLY! Sorry.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:20 p.m. CST

    I would also ADORE...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    a Knights of the Old Republic film, if not trilogy!

  • April 5, 2010, 2:20 p.m. CST

    @dstrange

    by silents47

    I can't remember the exact quote, but Karen Traviss said something along the lines of "George Lucas had a great idea with the SW galaxy... and other people have made it greater." <p>The fact that I'd rather watch someone play TFU or one of the KOTOR games than watch any of the PT shows how far Lucas's storytelling skill is from being able to support the weight of what SW has become.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Fett -

    by Kremzeek

    That we know of right now. Hehe. I wouldn't put it passed Lucas to go back and CG Yoda in the other 2 films as well. =)

  • April 5, 2010, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Holy shit... bullet dodged

    by We_like_it_VERY_MUCH

    I almost lost it there for a second, lol.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:21 p.m. CST

    </p>GO FUCK YOURSELF!</p>

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

  • April 5, 2010, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Woah, it worked.

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I am SO going to use that!

  • April 5, 2010, 2:23 p.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by NADO

    You miss the point completely in all your posts. Yes the prequel story outline is brilliant and the concepts Lucas use are all brilliant, but the movies are mediocre. This is not a matter of opinion. There are qualitative elements in a work of art that can be critically evaluated even if it's just a fun piece of escapism. The narrative is confusing. The pacing is awful. The characters are flat. Most of the acting is stiff. Most of the action sequences are not engaging. Most of the dialogues are mediocre. It does have some good visual effects while others just don't work, and some very good music. You can have the best story in the world with a profound subtext but if it is poorly told it doesn't matter in the end.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Star Wars Christmas > The Prequels

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

  • April 5, 2010, 2:23 p.m. CST

    On the subject of a KoToR movie

    by silents47

    While I'd love to see a movie about the Old Republic, I'm not sure how easy it would be to cover everything they'd need to cover without making it feel like an hour of exposition and a half hour of lightsaber fights. Now, if they could do 9 movies, starting with the Mandalorian Wars or someth-- dammit, I messed myself.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:24 p.m. CST

    I don't think Lucas would do that.

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    He definitely understands how fantastic that puppet worked. He just came to realize how stupid the NEW puppet was. I mean, it was crap.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Okay, I now officially could care less about this crap. <p>Parag

    by StarWarsRedux

    Did anyone else know about this? My mind is in the process of being blown, here.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Belloq, that was uncalled for!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    That was some fucked up repugnant shit!

  • April 5, 2010, 2:26 p.m. CST

    I haven't seen this video yet

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Does he mention how the arena battle at the end of AOTC features a score of cobbled together music ques Williams scored Phantom Menace with. I always wondered if Williams never scored anything new for that section because he knew Lucas was just going to butcher anything he wrote in the editing anyway.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:27 p.m. CST

    @REVENGE_OF_FETT

    by silents47

    I saw TPM in the theaters with my mother, and when Yoda first came onscreen, she asked me "Is this really what 20 years of technological advancements gets us? Couldn't they have just put a short guy in a costume like the old days?"

  • April 5, 2010, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Hey

    by D o o d

    I<p>can<p>now<p>paragraph<p>break<p>even this is better than the prequels!

  • April 5, 2010, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Damn. You can do paragraph breaks... <p>But the subject line is

    by StarWarsRedux

    Too bad. Thought it could be something cool there. <p>Ah, well. TalkBack code experimentation and discovery has its prices.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Figure I should ask in a SW talkback -

    by silents47

  • April 5, 2010, 2:28 p.m. CST

    by silents47

    That's a joke post under Coaxial, right? (lol enter key)

  • April 5, 2010, 2:30 p.m. CST

    silents47

    by the new transported man

    Wasn't Yoda a puppet in TPM, then digital in AOTC? I thought Puppet Yoda was shit in TPM, it really stood out. Puppets or CGI, & never the twain shall meet.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Where does everyone stand on the Star Trek vs. Star Wars debate

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    I used to like Star Wars more as a kid while Trek just seemed boring but now... i saw TOS and fell in love ewith it, the stories are meaty, the comraderie between the crew is better than the SW leads. SW really only has 3 good movies the originals while everything else afterward is pure dogshit while the combined runtime of TOS, TAS, the movies, heck even TNG is a better continuation seires than the prequels are to the OT.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Except for the last scene in TPM

    by silents47

    Yes.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Dood, <p>It's definitely better <p>Than the YouTube videos

    by StarWarsRedux

    Granted, I've lost my initial enthusiasm, after seeing the subject line's character limit (I think it's around 58, give or take). Kinda defeats the purpose of doing paragraph breaks in there. <p>Still, more fun than watching the Plinkett crap.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:33 p.m. CST

    NADO

    by ObiBen

    >>Yes the prequel story outline is brilliant and the concepts Lucas use are all brilliant, but the movies are mediocre. - My thoughts exactly. The synopsis is brilliant, but the execution was disfonctionnal. Too bad they didn't want Kurtz to hang around the sets...

  • April 5, 2010, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Or ANYONE who disagrees with Lucas, ObiBen

    by silents47

  • April 5, 2010, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Plinkett is 100 percent right: George Lucas does not understand

    by CatoTheCensor

    Nobody who actually understands Star Wars could have made Yoda vs. Dooku. I'm sorry. George may have created Star Wars but by the time ESB came around it was better, more talented people making better movies than he ever could. George Lucas does not understand Star Wars. It's like he never even watched The Empire Strikes Back. Even ANH probably would have been stupid if he had had creative control.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Gotta disagree with you TakingScorpio

    by D.Vader

    The Clone Wars cartoon series (both of them) and many of the Star Wars comics are definitely NOT "dogshit".

  • April 5, 2010, 2:36 p.m. CST

    I agree with Obiben

    by donduck

    I think conceptionally, the prequels should have been epic. But the movies were so average, that it brought Stars Wars down. <p> What do I mean by that? As a kid, there were movies..and then Star Wars. no movie could touch the Star Wars Trilogy. Sounds dramatic, but there was so much magic in the originals that it sparked my imagination. <p> But the prequels were just movies.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:37 p.m. CST

    The Prequels are Star Trek

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Lucas spent way too much time overexplaining how everything works, too much technobabble, the hallmark of Trek from TNG to Enterprise. So a good Trek movie came about from Star Wars-ing it up, and bad Star Wars films were made by Trek-ing it up.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:37 p.m. CST

    test

    by --- Emperor ---

    blah blah blah <p> blah blah blah

  • April 5, 2010, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Mr Plinketts Super Sounds of the Seventies continues..

    by connor187

  • April 5, 2010, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Don't know about the serial killer portion....

    by Tomwatso

    Overall, I think this review hit the problems with the modern Star Wars product pretty well. The constant reflection back to the original movies always struck me as trite. I am also glad that someone besides me thought R. Scott got hosed with taking ideas and not really paying for them. The reviewer had that point right. I just found for "all this supposed" genius that George Lucas had/has, I did not find that much new ideas in Episode 1-3. There is not much emotion. I find more feeling in reviews like this one and others, than in the films. Thanks for the production values in the review. Don't care for pizza rolls, but I cannot wait for your Episode 3 review.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:38 p.m. CST

    CatoTheCensor

    by D.Vader

    I gotta say, most of what you just wrote is a bit nonsensical.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Anyone else get that vibe from his voice?

    by connor187

  • April 5, 2010, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Samuel Fulmer - The Summer of 1996.

    by ObiBen

    Yes, that's when it actually started to flare up. But I think the blueprints where layed with Batman and Jurassic Park, where attention was payed to marketing and hype as much or even more than to the actual productions. That was also the year when competitive movies started to come out as twins (Deep Impact/Armageddon, etc), like a parade of Jangos and Bobas...

  • April 5, 2010, 2:42 p.m. CST

    might i add

    by donduck

    I think it's impossible to fully enjoy the movies in order (1-6) besides the jarring difference in effects and era. <p> The main reason is that prequels requires you to know these characters. Or at least you have to be familiar with the universe. <p> Whereas, in the originals, Luke, Leia and Han got character development in A New Hope and their relationships evolve with the sequels. And you grew to like them as characters thus, you want to enjoy their adventures in space. <p> the prequels didn't do that. who is qui jon jinn? I still don't know.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Battle of Endor

    by elsewhere

    Is better than the sum of all CGI used in the prequels.<p>Search your feelings. You know it to be true. http://tinyurl.com/yaup6uh

  • April 5, 2010, 2:44 p.m. CST

    and you assholes bitched about Script Girl?

    by alienindisguise

    this toad epitomizes a loser film school student, woody allen loving dick tard. I'll sit through ep2 ad nauseum before listening to one of his reviews again.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:45 p.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by savagedave

    Now you've mastered line and paragraph break, see if you can crack the real holy grail of AICN talkbacks; posting pictures.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Now THAT is some funny sh**!!

    by thot

    Mr. P does a stupendous job of distilling just why it is that the prequels fail so miserably. I hated Phantom Menace but liked AOTC and ROTS. That being said, I recognized right away how inferior and generally soulless the preqauels were as compared to the originals. The do look like cartoons.

  • We know how the Empire is. I cannot believve this guys site hasn't had an abomb dropped on it yet. Well no doubt they will become aware of him pretty shortly and force him to remove all clips from the films, stunned he's gotten away with this for so long. We all know lucasfilm has no sense of humor

  • April 5, 2010, 2:46 p.m. CST

    @donduck

    by silents47

    The main problem is that in the OT, they just had to make the viewer relate to the characters. In the PT, they were trying to make the viewer relate to the characters by virtue of their relationship to the OT characters. Anakin, Padme, the PT Obi-Wan... not one of them is a relatable, interesting character in the least bit, because nobody was trying to make them interesting. They just hoped that we'd sit down and go "omg he's gonna be Darth Vader I wanna see how omg this is awesome"

  • April 5, 2010, 2:47 p.m. CST

    D.Vader

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    Er well i meant only tv/movie form. Books are another thing, the Han Solo trilogy is awesome (but then Han Solo is pretty much the coolest thing out of the whole of SW)

  • April 5, 2010, 2:49 p.m. CST

    What was the Han Solo trilogy, TakingScorpiosCalls?

    by D.Vader

  • April 5, 2010, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Who in their right mind would watch

    by Samuel Fulmer

    The Star Wars films In order (ep.1-6)? That would be like Watching Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me first, and then watching the Twin Peaks Television series. I think the only way one could gain any kind of enjoyment of the prequels as strictly backstory for the originals.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Dream Directors for a new SW trilogy...GO!

    by We_like_it_VERY_MUCH

    For myself: <P> Act I - James Cameron or The Wachowski Bros...Yes, I still trust them... Yes, I hated both of them. <P> Act II - P.T. Anderson or David Fincher... You need someone who can do a tragic character study w/ vast scope. <P> Act III - Steven Spielberg (I know he would "Kiddie" it up but Old Spielberg always deserved that shot at JEDI) <P> Director who could direct the entire thing and I'd have no problem with it- Chan-wook Park

  • April 5, 2010, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Ok, let's try this again:

    by --- Emperor ---

    I agree with you that the OT had its own fair share of scientific issues (such as light-speed travel via space-ships, lightsabers, death stars, etc). Firstly, you must understand that in the OT, Lucas wisely chose to skip the details of the concepts that didn't seem plausible. There were limited explanations given, only so the story could move forward. No, of course one can argue endlessly on the scientific issues at hand, such as the alien races in both films, the fact that all planets magically seemed to have breathable air and earth-like gravity etc. All of this, however, is beside the point. Lucas didn't start explaining these issues just because he felt he needed to deepen the story (like in the prequels). <p> It wasn't necessary. The story was deep enough, and the rest was simply there to serve the story. Yes there was some eye candy, but most of it was there for a reason: to serve the story. How does midichlorians serve the story? If anything, by attempting to add 'science' (this isn't science, but let's just assume midichlorians are scientific), he actually detracted even more from the originals, by trying to add contrive some form of legitimacy to the universe. No matter how you look at it, it's completely stupid. <p> You might argue that midichlorians are important because in Ep 3 Palpatine talks to Anakin about how a sith could create life via midichlorians. But midichlorians are unnecessary for this. He could simply say: "The dark lord was able to use the force to create life". This would have made so much more sense. In fact, now that I think of it, the speech about "using the force to influence the midichlorians (which are life forms themselves) to create life" is a circular argument. It states that a sith can create life through life (rather than through energy). <p> It's laughable and illogical not to mention philosophically invalid. But not only that, it is artistically and conceptually foolish, because it doesn't add anything at all. Here's an example to illustrate my point: As soon as you stop the story to try to add validity to a concept only to create more confusion, you undermine the entire concept as well as the story. <p> The originals wisely avoided this, and the very little explanations provided sufficed to move the story onward. Some people consider the entire subplot of Palpatine's endless political maneuvering to finally gain power halfway through the final prequel film to be brilliant. But if you stop to think of it, it's a complete waste of celluloid. The original movies have barely any wasted scenes (if any). The prequels have plenty of wasteful scenes (pod race, darth maul fight which is meaningless, qui-gon/obi-wan dynamic is useless, the entire jedi councel is mostly relegated to sitting around waiting for the republic to collapse, Yoda is reduced to an incompetent acrobatic frog, Dooku is pretty much useless, etc.). <p> Let's look at the Originals: All main characters (Han, Luke, Leia, Darth) serve an important and crucial purpose. You take them out, you undermine the story. And please, no fanboy coming here telling me that we need Qui Gon to learn about the disappearing trick. No, we don't need qui gon. That was just lucas trying to milk the dead character in order to convince you that he is useful. Anyway, back to the originals. The robots in the original films are useful and serve to advance the story (eg artoo projects image of leia pleading for help). What does artoo do in the prequels? He is mostly reduced to a beeping side-kick. Look at Jar Jar. He is completely useless to the entire movies. And no, we do not need a jar jar in order to have Palpatine elected. That is another contrivance. Look at C3PO. In originals he is useful, as he serves as a means of communication between different races. What does he do in the originals, besides, well, nothing? Getting his head blown off a few times. Yes, this happened in the Originals also, but that was just an additional comedic element, ON TOP of the fact that he served the story. Do you understand how this relates to the midichlorian concept? <p> It does't add to the science. It doesn't add to the religion. It doesn't add to the story. It doesn't add to the mythology. In fact, it mostly detracts. That's the grand tragedy of these prequels. They don't add anything, they either are redundant, or they detract. <p> Now, I am sure some of you are thinking that all I am doing is complaining. Well, here's an idea of what Lucas could have done: In episode 1, kenobi is finishing his training with yoda, barely passes the finals (and we see these finals, we aren't just told about them). He becomes a jedi at about 1/4th of the way through. The rest of the film (3/4) is devoted to him meeting, liking and training a young, confident, energetic and curious kid perhaps to the disdain of the jedi counsel and yoda (or maybe just yoda)...Meanwhile a politician manipulates his way to become chancellor (requiring about 1/2 of the running time). <p> Meanwhile, anakin is growing up from kid into young adult (roughly by the half way point), and begins a dangerous friendship with palpatine. Through this connection, he meets a senator by the name of Padme, and initially he fends her off and avoids her, because he knows what this could mean if he falls for her. She likes this cocky, confident, and sarcastic young man, and she is drawn more to him by virtue of the fact that he pushes her away...(this is the poetry that Lucas might have been thinking of but failed to deliver. This would have been a reverse mirroring of the original Leia/Han story, where this time, it's the female pursuing the male)...<p> Anyway, by the end of the film, Palpatine has started a war (the details don't matter, the point is, he is using the war to stay in power and exercise totalitarian power, similar to Hitler in the late 1930s). Also, by the end of this first film, Anakin has learnt much from Obi-wan, they have become good friends, and he is slowly becoming ready for the jedi trials. The film ends on this note. <p> Notice how this premise actually shows what's going on, instead of telling us? (@revenge of fett). See, in the prquels, we are told that Anakin becomes a jedi (through the opening crawl in Ep 3), we are told that Kenobi becomes a jedi in the end of Ep1. Here's an idea: What about showing how Kenobi passes the trials, and then end the movie with how Anakin passes it? We don't have to talk about it. We don't have to discuss Anakin's descent to the dark side. We see it. How do we see this? We see this through the fact that, while kenobi is less talented than Anakin, he manages to hold his cool and reserve, despite being of a similar age to Anakin by the time Anakin is ready. In contrast, Anakin confronts the same tasks differently and more aggressively than Kenobi, thus already showing the audience how Anakin's traits eventually lead him to the dark side. <p> This is another hugely crucial and important opportunity squandered. And of course it's been squandered. The movie was too busy being side-tracked by MEANINGLESS shit, like pod racing and gambling, rather than focusing on important shit like Jedi trials, Jedi life style in the temple, Padme's seduction of Anakin, etc. Now this premise alone is better than the entire trilogy, because we still have 2 movies to go through, to witness how this man turned to the dark side. We have 2 movies devoted to clone wars, darth vader's purge of the jedi, palpatine's rise to an all-powerful emperor, etc. This is what the prequels should have been. This is why people are so fucking pissed off, because a great opportunity was completely wasted with useless expository dialogue, meaningless side quests/missions (eg plot to kill padme, which still doesn't make sense, trade federation, obi-wan wasting time hunting a bounty hunter, etc). <p> Notice how the OT, while not as complex in terms of story structure, was far more effective? The simply story I came up with in the space of a few seconds (I made it up as I went), makes sense, fits in with the originals, and leaves 2 movies for the audience to really explore this universe and more importantly, explore the love between anakin and padme, explore the break down between anakin and obiwan, and explore the rise of the empire. It's simple, not meaningless side tracking of contrived midichlorians, pod races, and other meaningless shit nobody cares about, but infinitely more interesting and engaging.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:52 p.m. CST

    You can show film clips

    by Samuel Fulmer

    As far as I know it's considered fair use if it's for an educational purpose, the educational purpose behind this being to steer clear from future Lucasfilm productions.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:52 p.m. CST

    MY god Fett, you're fucking retarded

    by CatoTheCensor

    he calls Jango Boba because they are the exact same character, because Lucas only had him in the movie because he somehow wanted to get the "cool" cult character in TPM, so he just invented an identical clone with a different first name and identical armor for the purpose. Calling Jango Fett Boba Fett is actually a funny joke. He just doesn't explain it because it's not a joke for fucking idiots like you. Taoism? Give me a fucking break. The problem with the movies is not the tone, or Jar Jar, or Jake Lloyd, or even the clunky dialogue, it's the fact that the plot doesn't make any sense, the characters have no personality, and the whole mythology of the Force and the Jedi is completely, utterly, and eternally ruined.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:54 p.m. CST

    donduck -

    by Kremzeek

    100% correct. Well, for me anyway. That's one of the big glaring problems with Eps 1-3. Lucas has really given writers 2 terrific examples of 1) how to create an incredibly immersive and imaginative universe and 2) how to execute it poorly. It's a bummer it turned out that way, but he really is a shining example of both how do it right and wrong.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:57 p.m. CST

    JGER, Lucasfilm can't do anythign about it

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    It's satire. EVERYTHING is legal with satire.You can go make a Star Wars parody right now, even sell it for money. Lucasfilm can't touch you. Honestly Lucas has been pretty cool about fan films in general. I think they even have competitions with rewards.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:57 p.m. CST

    From what I understand Lucas hates Empire

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Which explains his progessively worsening takes on the Star Wars Universe since that film came out in 1980. It would be like if Kubrick made 2001 and then decided, okay, that films sucks, time to make Spartacus pt.2!

  • April 5, 2010, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Fett

    by CatoTheCensor

    "The story is brilliant," You're so fucking stupid it boggles the mind.

  • April 5, 2010, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Samuel, exactly -

    by Kremzeek

    That's exactly what the preque;s are: backstory. It did not need to be told. I'm definitely in the camp that Vader was damn scary... until seeing him be a whiney bitch and scream "Nooooo" like Frankenstein (I don't care if it was on purpose, it doesn't fit). After seeing all 3, Vader's mystery was ruined. And that's why you never tell backstory as *the* story. The prequels were like giving candy to a baby because he wouldn't stop crying about it, then after the whole ordeal, the candy tastes like shit so the baby doesn't want it anymore.

  • April 5, 2010, 3 p.m. CST

    Happyfat73 agreed on that

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    Plinkett so thoroughly and objectively deconstructed those to be true shit that it makes people's piss boil when they can't check any of his criticisms so they pretty much go batshit throwing feces from trees.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:01 p.m. CST

    TOLD they became Jedi?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Did you watch the OT? That's EXACTLY what happens to Luke! When he leaves Dagobah he is told he needs to finish his training because he isn't ready. When he returns to Dagobah to finish his training, Yoda says "I said what? Oh.....nevermind, you're all done now!" *dies*</p><p>Of all the things you could bring up to illustrate the OT was better storytelling, THAT'S the shit you bring? Fucking hell!

  • April 5, 2010, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Best lines of Plinkett Reviews..

    by CatoTheCensor

    "So the Defiant exists for one reason: to fight the Borg. Now, when the time actually comes to fight the Borg, the Defiant shows up with nothing less than the B team. It's just Worf and a bunch of nobodies. No Sisko. No Dax. No Kira. No Bashir. No Odo (shows picture of Bea Arthur). Not even Miles O'Brien. I guess they all had better things to do: like play darts, play baseball, sit around in bathing suits, hang themselves from balconies--"

  • April 5, 2010, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Still waiting for the 90 minute counterpoint

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Well supporters, where is it. Could you honestly make a 90 minute video about how great ATOC is?

  • April 5, 2010, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Kirk Gets Buried under rocks

    by CatoTheCensor

    Instead of saying: "I got the body of James T. Kirk. Beam him up too so we can give him a proper burial," Picard buries kirk above ground under a pile of rocks. It's just a matter of time before the animals get to him.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:04 p.m. CST

    The Bottom Line is

    by D o o d

    The prequels are terrible movies. Those of you who like them and defend them are true Star Wars Fans. I don't mean that as an insult but you just love that world and space and don't really care about what's wrong with the films. Sure you can back and point out some of the flaws, but you are too close to seeing the bigger picture, which was rubbish!

  • April 5, 2010, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Yoda telling Luke his training is complete..

    by CatoTheCensor

    ...one of the weakest parts of Star Wars. How long does Luke actually train for anyway? One of the reasons ROTJ is not nearly as good as TESB (though a million times better than the prequels).

  • April 5, 2010, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Couldn't make a 90 minute video in support of ATOC...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Because I don't know what the fuck that is.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Well than how about making a 90 minute

    by Samuel Fulmer

    video supporting Star Wars Episode II:Attack of the Clones. Do you know what that is?

  • April 5, 2010, 3:07 p.m. CST

    A Time Of Champions?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Alice Trips On Chimps?</p><p>A Tin Of Canoli?</p><p>Angela's Titties Over Chicago?

  • April 5, 2010, 3:07 p.m. CST

    "...buzz droids are all over Obi Wan's ship"

    by FluffyUnbound

    Maybe you were yelling "Use the force" but I was yelling "Why the fuck don't those droids have little bombs in them?" One additional reason that the prequels' action scenes ALL SUCK is that neither side in any fight ever does the very basic things they could do to try to WIN. The storm troopers in the OT were incompetent, but they at least seemed to be TRYING.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Fuck the prequels.

    by ColonelFatheart

    Get over it, folks. Get the fuck over it.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:09 p.m. CST

    CatoTheCensor

    by secretcylon

    The Trek reviews are the best.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:09 p.m. CST

    silents47

    by ObiBen

    >>Or ANYONE who disagrees with Lucas I still can't wrap my head around how can a movie go from incredibly childish (and endless) robot schtick (sliding in oil, going "huh-ho" while dangling in mid-air for 5 seconds before falling down a shaft, like Wile E Coyote) to a summary execution scene - where a guy gets decapitated after being disarmed by having his hands cut off - in a matter of a few minutes. I mean surely someone in the staff could have pointed out that this sort of disconnection would take any part of the audience out of the movie, regardless of their demographic?

  • April 5, 2010, 3:09 p.m. CST

    silents47

    by ObiBen

    >>Or ANYONE who disagrees with Lucas I still can't wrap my head around how can a movie go from incredibly childish (and endless) robot schtick (sliding in oil, going "huh-ho" while dangling in mid-air for 5 seconds before falling down a shaft, like Wile E Coyote) to a summary execution scene - where a guy gets decapitated after being disarmed by having his hands cut off - in a matter of a few minutes. I mean surely someone in the staff could have pointed out that this sort of disconnection would take any part of the audience out of the movie, regardless of their demographic?

  • April 5, 2010, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Don't know how many times I have to say...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Clones is FLAWED! Do you need me to murmer it into your ear? Should I put it on a fucking billboard with Christmas lights? The fuck is it with you?

  • April 5, 2010, 3:10 p.m. CST

    silents47

    by Mr.Stiggs

    I’ve never stated that I disagree with everything that Mr. Plinkett said regarding the prequels nor did I argue whether or not he has the right to his own viewpoint. I said that I think it's PATHETIC for a grown man to spend so much time compiling, editing and critiquing a movie that has been made FOR 14 YEAR OLD BOYS! It just smacks of the kind of individual that would rather lie around and complain than contribute something positive to society. Then again, that describes about 80% of the people in the world. Perhaps it’s just me but I kind of find the whole thing an embarrassment.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:10 p.m. CST

    CatoTheCensor

    by secretcylon

    Also, thanks for explaining the Boba/Jango joke. I cannot believe how many people aren't understanding that...

  • April 5, 2010, 3:13 p.m. CST

    ECHO!..ECho..echo...

    by ObiBen

    BOBA!...BObo...jango...

  • April 5, 2010, 3:15 p.m. CST

    ObiBen

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Did you see that scene in LOTR where Gimli was crying over the death of the drawf King in the mines of Moria only to be interrupted by Pippin (smiling with an Urkel 'Did I do that' look on his face)dumping shit down a flummoxing well that doesn't actually go to water but instead a giant empty cavern filled with goblins?</p><p>Remember how dozens of goblins are then gorily dispatched (after somehow teleporting from this miles long cavern to the front door in like 10 seconds) and Frodo is stabbed in slow-motion while his friends cry? Remember that all happened in the spanse of a few minutes?</p><p>Yeah.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Mr.Stiggs

    by secretcylon

    Plinkett's reviews are more than just complaints. These are rigorous, eloquent, meticulous works. He's definitely not lying around, and he's definitely making a positive contribution. Relax and have a pizza roll!

  • April 5, 2010, 3:16 p.m. CST

    What ever happened to Red Tails?

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Any truth to the rumor that Lucas is doing reshoots? Maybe he's planning on adding a cameo by Ahmed Best?

  • April 5, 2010, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Corky the Down-Sydrome Cave Troll

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    That was a stroke of fucking genious.</p><p>Manpon-wearing douchebags: "NOOOOO! You can't say bad things about LOTR!" *runs aaway crying hysterically*

  • April 5, 2010, 3:19 p.m. CST

    This guy should be a screen writer.

    by SpartacusHughes

  • April 5, 2010, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Good Lord, THANK YOU, Ingeld!

    by The Wolf at the Door

    Okay, one last step up onto the soap box and then I'm gone: There's an absurd amount of bickering on this website over the merits of a fantasy franchise that ended years ago and has no substantive impact on real life. (Fair 'nuff, I engage in it myself, that's primarily why I come to this site.) <p> BUT ---> There's only about three of us on here who find the tacky and mysogynistic "humor" inappropriate because *in real life*, women actually do get kidnapped, beaten and raped with some regularity. <p> I'm as annoyed at mitachlorians as anyone, but can we all gather 'round and rail against Lucas's many deficiencies as a filmmaker without invoking morally abhorrent images of violence against women? <p> Honestly, Pinkett, WTF??

  • April 5, 2010, 3:20 p.m. CST

    And no, prequel Kenobi is nothing like OT Kenobi

    by FluffyUnbound

    OT Kenobi, in about 1/10th the actual screen time, conveys warmth and humor and charm and wisdom. As does Yoda, a fucking PUPPET. Prequel Kenobi and Yoda are ciphers. OT Kenobi teaches Luke more AFTER HE'S DEAD than prequel Kenobi teaches Anakin over the course of three films. And no, I'm not just talking about exposition about the force, either.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:20 p.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT can't be real.

    by VitaminZ

    This is some weird piece of performance art, right? There's no way anyone would or could spend this much time trying to convince people that the three prequel movies were good filmmaking.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Screenwriter rather

    by SpartacusHughes

    .

  • April 5, 2010, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Citizen Kane Remake-Starring George Lucas!

    by Samuel Fulmer

  • April 5, 2010, 3:23 p.m. CST

    So sot summerize, Tall_Boy66 is such a fanboy

    by smackfu

    That he can't sit and watch a few minutes of an amusing film review without getting angry and lashing out at people that did enjoy it. And in what is the height of irony, he's using 'fanboy' as an insult to the people that found the review funny, and they guy that wrote the review. I'm not a Lucas hater or a fanboy, but c'mon. It's obvious that these films were pretty bad. They were MST3K levels of cheesy. They weren't compelling, they weren't intelligent, they weren't even fun. All they were, was pretty. And that's pretty much all Lucas wanted them to be. The review is funny as hell, not because it's bashing Star Wars, but because it's sharp and whitty. I would laugh just as much at this guy if he were reviewing Transformers or X3. AKA other bad movies.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:25 p.m. CST

    Mr. Stiggs

    by FluffyUnbound

    I would need to hear what you do for a living before deciding if these reviews are a pathetic use of someone's time. If there are 120 man-hours of editing work here, that's probably a more worthwhile use of a human being's time than three work-weeks of most peoples' jobs.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:26 p.m. CST

    secretcylon...really?

    by Mr.Stiggs

    "These are rigorous, eloquent, meticulous works". No, they are not. I actually think the prequels kind of suck so Plinkett's critique is like shooting fish in a barrel. Let's see how eloquent he deconstructs Tolstoy, Nabokov Kieslowski or Kubrick.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:27 p.m. CST

    HAVE I NOT SAID THEY ARE FLAWED?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    You people really need to start paying attention. I've said this SINCE MY FIRST POST!

  • April 5, 2010, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Fett, you really are dumb.

    by --- Emperor ---

    The funny thing with you is, you actually truly believe anything you type constitutes a 'point'. If somebody says "Donald is taller than Bob", you say "but Donald is short". That's you in a nut shell. You're so fucking inept. There's no real eloquent way to describe you, other than: fuck-ing in-ept. Here's your argument to counter the grievance that the prequels wasted time on exposition rather than story: "there were some exposition scenes in the OT, so that makes Prequels no worse than the OT". Man oh man are you an inept dumb-ass fuck. I really don't like using this sort of language, but I have to use it with you, because your stupidity is profoundly irritating. Don't you understand that citing elements that are common in ever movie, doesn't make the movies equal? <p> Here's an extreme example: the OT had dialogue, so I guess OT is on the same level as Prequels. Here's another: OT had action scenes, so I guess you can't fault prequels for its excessive mind-numbing action. Here's another one for you dummy: OT also had lightsaber duels, so I guess having 10 billion of them in prequels makes it okay. <p> So yeah, I guess your argument is valid, Revenge_of_fett: I guess we were told that Luke became a jedi rather than seeing it, yup. I mean, let's forget the fact that we had ANH and ESB to *see* how he trained to become a jedi and we saw how he was crumbling under Yoda's tutelage, and just jump for argument's sake to the final film and fault it just because Yoda recognized Luke's newly acquired maturity. Riiiiight...Great going there buddy. I wish I had your stubborn stupidity. On second thought, I'm rather glad I'm not as mentally obtuse as you are. <p> But trust me, people like you say a lot about why this world is so fucked up. I mean, all we have to do is look at the stubborn and stupid arguments people put forward to defend their religions. Go join a cult. Your brain is perfectly developed for that. Hopefully the cult you join will convince its followers to conmmit suicide. That way, people don't have to suffer reading through your gibberish anymore.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Nobody doing the 90 minute counterpoint

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Because there is no way you could come up with 10 minutes of material on why AOTC is good, let alone 90.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:28 p.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT - LOTR

    by ObiBen

    Goblins and Trolls and Orcs and shit get horribly dispatched in a pretty consistent manner throughout the LOTR movies. I don't ever remember going "Huh? Have we switched movies here?". But honestly, it's been a while since I've seen them. Anyways, there was slaptstick/cuteness juxtaposed with violence and dark subjects in the two first SW films, but that was handled much better at the time. One might even give a chance to Ewoks. But the Teletubbies grade humour from the prequels simply fails at every possible level.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Fett the thing is

    by Samuel Fulmer

    You are nitpicking the original films to find flaws that somehow have reasonable equivalents in the prequels. The problem with that is yes there are flaws in the Original films (as there are flaws in everything), but the strengths of those films far outway their flaws (and overshadow them) whereas the prequels are defined by their flaws because the flaws overwhelm and consume any strengths the films may have.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:33 p.m. CST

    We actually saw Ewoks die in ROTJ

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Did any Gungans die during Jar Jar's wacky slap stick adventures at the end of The Phantom Menace? I thought I was watching Goof Troop on the Disney Afternoon when I saw that whole end section of Phantom Menace.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Yeah I never went "Duh, WAT MOOBIE IS DIS"

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    While watching the prequels either.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:34 p.m. CST

    FluffyUnbound

    by Mr.Stiggs

    I know I’m going to get crucified for this but I actually graduated summa-cum-laude from one of the top film schools in the country. Once again to reaffirm my view…I agree with some of Plinkett's points and I support his right to express himself. But I guess that I just don’t see the point in pouring so much creative energy in order to tear apart someone else’s work.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:35 p.m. CST

    I'm not nitpicking the original films...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I'm applying your own formula for suckitude to them. When I show you the results you want to change the formula because it disproves what you are saying.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:38 p.m. CST

    I guess I'll go over it again....

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    1) The prequels are flawed.</p><p>2) There is a brilliant idea behind them. The story is amazing.</p><p>3)THE PREQUELS ARE FLAWED!

  • April 5, 2010, 3:39 p.m. CST

    I seem to remember the posters saying

    by lotharius3rd1118

    A Jedi Shall Not Know Love. Granted, that's a piece of marketing and not the movie itself and the thing about attachments is what the code was originally supposed to be, but that doesn't change the fact that Jedi were being sold as loveless beings.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Take the formula of suckitude

    by Samuel Fulmer

    and take said suckitudes and multiply them by how many times instances of said suckitudes occur in each Star Wars film, and I believe the prequels will lead in the battle of the suckitude. Maybe we need to call in Will Hunting for this one to reach the final results.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:42 p.m. CST

    A Jedi Shall Not Know Love

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Then how do they reproduce since being a jedi is a genetic trait?

  • April 5, 2010, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Mr.Stiggs

    by secretcylon

    Have you ever tried to make something like this? 90 minutes of hilarious, entertaining, insightful, content? I would guess that you definitely haven't because if you did than there's NO WAY you'd be cutting this down the way you are. No way.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:43 p.m. CST

    Or are we talking about

    by Samuel Fulmer

    the actual emotion of love, not the physical act? I mean come on, we all know Yoda and Yaddle had to have had something going on.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:46 p.m. CST

    I remember

    by HagCeli

    leaving the theater after having seen "Attack of the Clones", wondering what the hell I had just seen and what went wrong. It was one of the most devastating moviegoing experiences of my life. The disappointment I felt after the "Phantom Menace" was comparatively mild, and I even happened to like "Revenge of the Sith" (a lot, to be honest), but "Attack of the Clones" was just a really sucky film. I've never seen it again since, but the yucky dialogue and wooden acting in the contrived love story as well as the gaping plot holes haven't left me to this very day.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:48 p.m. CST

    JackSlater4

    by lotharius3rd1118

    You're an idiot. A humorless idiot at that. I usually don't like to engage in insults and shit, but DAMN! Your point-by-point of the reviews was one of the silliest tings I've ever read on this site. At least Fett doesn't seem insane when he defends the PT. <p> One of the biggest difficulties with the presentation of the love story in the prequels was the inherent creepiness of Portman falling for someone who is eight fucking years old. And girls do like it when a man shows some dominance, but not to be constantly interrupting her or quibbling with everyone he meets or saying whiny ass shit about how people just don't understand him. They also don't really appreciate being eye raped. <p> And while I personally did want to see some pretty heavy lightsaber action, I have to admit the Jedi were pretty skittish with whipping them out at almost any given opportunity.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Flawed?

    by ObiBen

    They are much more than flawed, they barely hold up as movies. Even the editing is cringe inducing at times, something you rarely see in even b grade productions.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:51 p.m. CST

    The Prequels are NOT flawed

    by D o o d

    they are shit!

  • April 5, 2010, 3:52 p.m. CST

    I always thought that Jedi were anomalies

    by lotharius3rd1118

    in the universe with no need to reproduce. The Luke and Leia being a part of a shared genetic line of Jedi was a first and the thing that brought balance to the Force, like Anakin's prophecy first said. That's just my take, though.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:52 p.m. CST

    ObiBen

    by secretcylon

    True. You could see that the actual cuts were terrible. This almost never happens in a major film. I make my living as an editor and I was shocked at some of the cutting in these movies.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Some positive Attack of the Clones thoughts

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Okay I've been ripping on it, but here are some positive aspects: Some of the score by John Williams, The Jango Fett Obi-Wan fight, The emperors appearance at the end, Some of the chase over Coruscant (even though it went on way too long), Anakin killing the sand people, the Lightsaber lit fight between Obi-Wan and Dooku, and the part where Yoda draws his lightsaber (which was cool, but the actual fight with Dooku, not so much). That's all I can come up with.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:53 p.m. CST

    secretcylon

    by Mr.Stiggs

    Are you actually suggesting that it’s jealousy that is keeping me from enjoying these videos? Really kid…you know me that well, huh? Wait..let me finish laughing…OK. I’ve had more success and accolades than I ever thought I would. I made $350,000 last year. I bought a $70,000 car with cash and a huge home with a 40 ft. pool. I don’t think that my present social/economic/employment situation has anything to do with my opinion of Plinkett’s critiques.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:54 p.m. CST

    REVENGE_of_FETT

    by --- Emperor ---

    See, fett, this is precisely why you're dumb. You're not dumb because you disagree with me. You're not dumb because you're a SW fanboy. You're not dumb because you're defending the prequels. <p> You're dumb because NOTHING YOU TYPE makes sense or constitutes anything but meaningless words (noise) posted on a screen. <p> You're dumb because you claim that you're using my own arguments against me -- you actually believe this. <p> You're dumb because you believe you have a point in stating that Luke's final meeting with Yoda (and the resulting exposition) is comparible to the exposition in place of a story in the prequels. <p> You're dumb for sitting here, posting nonsense after nonsense and will probably continue to do so until the talk back dies down. <p> You're dumb for so many reasons. Nothing you type makes any sense or in any way relates to the previous post other than you making it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that you really are the dumb-ass of this talk-back. <p> Another reason why you're dumb, is because you cannot stick to a single point and argue it logically. You jump around from one issue to another and simply state that these issues are somehow related. Come to think of it, you're about as dumb as the prequel trilogy was, which explains why you're such an ardent defender of it. I'm going to bed. Enough time has been wasted on your dumb ass.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Sammy,

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    You're conflating a couple of different things.</p><p>First of all, I never saw a poster like that. Maybe it was in a different country?And AGAIN, ANAKIN EXPLAINS that Jedi can love, they just can't form distracting attachments. ONCE AGAIN, I provided the link to the Zen philosophy this is based on. Go read it if you are confused because I'm not going to go over it again.</p><p>Being a Jedi is NOT a genetic trait. Just amazing how you people keep fucking up the most basic facts. Having a high midiclorian count CAN be genetic. Just like being a good artist or athelete is. But just because you have a high propensity for these things doesn't dictate that it's something you want to pursue.</p><p>I don't think it's a huge leap to say that Jedi very rarely have children. because again, they are like monks. they are dedicated to the philosophy of the Jedi Order which says you cannot put single persons above the ideal. It leads to fear, anger, hate, you know the deal. But I think it is possible to father a child without breaking this ideal, but you most likely cannot be around it. I don't know how a parent could NOT put their child above everyone else.

  • April 5, 2010, 3:58 p.m. CST

    I did think of one more good thing from AOTC

    by Samuel Fulmer

    The sound work during the Jango Fett Obi-Wan space pursuit (the sonic canisters bit).

  • April 5, 2010, 4 p.m. CST

    Zoidberg's review of Star Wars...

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

    This guy sounds too much like Zoidberg from Futurama, only in this case he comes from the world of Mike Judge's Idiocracy.

  • April 5, 2010, 4 p.m. CST

    Everyone I know loves Clones...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    And that probably explains why it grossed $640 million dollars. Honestly, if it was half the shit you idiots say it is it would have crashed and fucking burned the way Batman & Robin or The Matrix Revolutions did. Especially since "everyone hated" Episode 1, which I believe was the second highest grossing film of all time when it came out.

  • April 5, 2010, 4 p.m. CST

    Mr.Stiggs

    by secretcylon

    No not jealous at all and I'm seriously not trying to piss you off either. I'm just saying that these reviews are actually a much bigger production then they may seem at first blush and that this guy "Plinkett" really knows his stuff. It's not just some throw away youtube video that he just knocked off in his spare time. Congratulations on your car and your salary though. That's really great for you!! But you didn't answer my question. I was just wondering if you had ever made a video or critique along the lines of what Plinkett has done? Because if you have then you would definitely appreciate the effort that goes into his work. I didn't ask you about your salary or your car, just if you had done anything comparable to these videos. again though, congratulations on your success!

  • April 5, 2010, 4 p.m. CST

    Being a Jedi is NOT a genetic trait

    by Samuel Fulmer

    When was it ever said in the movies that it was not. Luke is Anakin's son and is a jedi, and supposedly Leia could become one too.

  • April 5, 2010, 4 p.m. CST

    secretcylon - editing

    by ObiBen

    I actually jumped when prisoner Palpatine went "Yeah!" smack in the middle of the duel in ROTS. It was like some bit of media got forgotten on the timeline. This reaction shot was so tacked on, I even think the saber blade at the leading and ending end of it is at the same position!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:01 p.m. CST

    I know people that like Bay's Transformers

    by Samuel Fulmer

    That's all I have to say.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Mr.Stiggs

    by secretcylon

    My first sentence should have said: No I don't think you're jealous at all and I'm seriously not trying to piss you off either.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:03 p.m. CST

    The prequels are not flawed. They are flaws.

    by ColonelFatheart

    Flaws in the human experience.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Well ObiBen

    by Samuel Fulmer

    That editing flub is probably based on the fact that Lucas went back and did reshoots to come up with Anakin's ham handed motivation for turning on Mace and the Jedi order. I would assume the final scene is a mixture of what was originally shot during the main shoot, and footage from the re-shoots.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Fett, it was the teaser poster

    by lotharius3rd1118

    It had a dark background with Anakin and Padme facing back-to-back and between them were the words A Jedi Shall Not Know Love.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Mr Fulmer

    by ObiBen

    You keep hitting nails right on the head! I agree that the sound work is very good and that Williams has produced some excellent music work, especially for the last one.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Also going off Jedi

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Didn't Luke say that the force was strong in his family! Wouldn't that give some basis for Jedi sensitivity being in the genes.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:05 p.m. CST

    ObiBen

    by secretcylon

    Also, there's a super awkward moment in AOTC where Anakin/Padme are rolling around in the grass, they finish, and the two actors hold their positions waiting for Lucas to say cut and then FINALLY the scene wipes away. It looks like something they meant to go back and fix later but never got around to... So many moments like that!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Sammy, again...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    You are mistaking having high midiclorians with being a Jedi. They don't mean the same thing. Luke ALWAYS had high midiclorians but he had no knowledge of the force before Ben introduced it to him. That's how it is with the vast majority of high-midi people in Star Wars.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Samuel Fulmer

    by secretcylon

    I think ObiBen is talking about the beginning of ROTS when Anakin/Obi Wan are dueling Dooku.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:08 p.m. CST

    It's not JEDI sensativity...

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    It's FORCE sensativity! You don't have to be a Jedi to do that. That's why there are SITH! Am I just talking to myself at this point?

  • April 5, 2010, 4:09 p.m. CST

    @lotharius3rd1118

    by silents47

    Force-sensitivity is almost always passed on, even if only one parent is Force-sensitive, like with the Skywalkers. There were hundreds of Jedi/Force-sensitive children of Jedi (Jacen and Jaina Solo, Doran Tainer, Valin Horn, among a shitload of others from the New Jedi Order, and Vima Sunrider, Vima-da-Boda, Bodo Bass, and a shitload of others from the Old Order.) Hell, Anakin's great-great-great grandson is a Jedi, as has been every other Skywalker since Luke and Leia.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:10 p.m. CST

    But in order to have high midiclorians

    by Samuel Fulmer

    You'd have to get it from your parents, unless you are some kind of genetic mutation. If the majority of force sensitives are found at a young age and eventually don't reproduce(which Qui-gon says something to Anakin about if he had lived on a different planet in the Republic he would've already been found), then there would be no Jedi. So by this point in galactic history if Jedi were unable to reproduce, there would be very few people remaining that had high midi-clorian counts unless they lived in outer-rim planets, correct?

  • April 5, 2010, 4:12 p.m. CST

    Amendment to my last post

    by silents47

    Technically, every Skywalker has been a Jedi, but some have gone to the Dark Side (spoiler alert!)<p> Figured I'd get that out of the way before someone else jumped on it.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:12 p.m. CST

    secretcylon- Okay

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Well I'm guessing last minute editing happened on the start of ROTS, because there are whole sections of music on the first track of the ROTS CD that are not present in the film (which usually means Lucas did a re-edit after Williams composed the score).

  • April 5, 2010, 4:12 p.m. CST

    FUCKING CHRIST MAN!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    You STILL don't get it! Who says that every single force-sensitive person HAS to become a Jedi? THIS IS WHERE YOU REPEATEDLY FAIL! Because your head is stuck on a track going right off a cliff!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Attack of the Clones is the nadir

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    of the prequels really, even its action sequences are positively limp dick video games. Even in ROTS McDiarmid is the only one that hasnt completely sunk in the shit sea and TPM has Liam Neeson and Darth Maul fight.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:14 p.m. CST

    secretcylon

    by Mr.Stiggs

    It seemed to me that you were insinuating that I could not enjoy these videos because I have never produced anything as successful and “appealing” as Plinkett’s Youtube submissions. I just wanted to point out that my current status has nothing to do with my opinion on another person’s work (although it made me sound like a douche). I’m not sure if you saw my previous post but I have worked many 18 hour day s on multiple film projects ranging from minute independents to full blown studio features. This just reaffirms my thought that this entire presentation is such a waste of time and effort. Plinkett has obviously done his homework and he is clever on occasion but I just can’t get my head around an adult man spending so much time ranting about a juvenile children’s (I loved Star Wars but it IS made for kids) film.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:14 p.m. CST

    I like AOTC.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    I think it's the least of the SW series, but I still enjoy it, mainly for the sequences involving Obi Wan following the trail left by Jango. The finale of the film was also fairly exciting. However, I gotta agree on the stupidity of that overlong chase through the bustling skyways of Coruscant after the assassination.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Is this guy just drunk or retarded....

    by SlickyVonBoner

    I mean, he makes a lot of good points and he's funny. But, his voice is just fucking annoying. Did he try to sound like that?

  • April 5, 2010, 4:16 p.m. CST

    secretcylon - fix later

    by ObiBen

    You know what? That brings a very interesting point. I personally believe that the power of modern digital tools can lead to sloppy work because of that "fix it in post" mentality. Look at Mr. Kahn's editing in Spielberg's movies. Clockwork. Probably because his cuts weren't mere afterthoughts. And probably because, at that time, not everybody could be a self proclaimed editor.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:17 p.m. CST

    He didn't even mention the worst...

    by ImperialMarchFace

    Sifo-Dyas anyone? I didn't catch him mentioning that bullshit. I skipped through the crap about him being a murderer though (NOT FUNNY DUDE. IT'S NOT EVEN OFFENSIVE. IT'S DUMB.) I understood Sifo-Dyas, but to an average person, it's just a big pile of WTF. And Anakin's mom's terrible death scene? GAH!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Whatever.

    by seniorspeilbergio

    This IS a fanboy review. That's the most nitpicking shit i ever heard. You really want to know why the prequels sucked as compared to the originals? Read the Secret History of Star Wars. Better yet, here's a PDF link: http://www.drbeat.li/album /B%C3%BCcher/The_Secret_History_of_Star_Wars.p df. Take out the spaces and all that.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:20 p.m. CST

    silents47

    by lotharius3rd1118

    I was trying to address the question of Jedi reproduction on a wide scale if the idea of Jedi mating is so rare. I just always assumed that it was a genetic anomaly, occassionally cropping up through generations after lying dormant that led to Force sensitive people to be courted and tested by the Jedi.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:22 p.m. CST

    "Mr Plinketts Super Sounds of the Seventies continues.."

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    HAHAHAH touche connor.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Mr.Stiggs

    by secretcylon

    Fair enough. But did you see the section where he even points out the inconsistencies with it being a so called "kids film?" It's really, really, funny. That being said, I disagree with your opinion that these reviews are a waste of time but it is a legitimate opinion and there's nothing wrong with that and you are definitely entitled to that opinion! I'm a BIG MST3K and Rifftrax fan and for me, making fun of movies is just another way of showing love for movies. I'm too embarrassed to say how many times I've watched AOTC and I LOVE having it roasted. <p> Also, for me, Plinkett is expressing a certain level of heartbreak over how far something as beautiful as Star Wars has fallen. Especially when it didn't have to. Sorry to ramble!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:26 p.m. CST

    Sifo Dyas! Apparently the Kaminoans keep terrible records.

    by lotharius3rd1118

    So Palpantine uses the identity of a dead Jedi to order a clone army and even insinuates a completely different personality to go to a different planet to hire Jango as the clone subject. And none of the Kamino ever check up on this transaction? How were they getting paid? Do they not have an accounting department?

  • April 5, 2010, 4:27 p.m. CST

    ObiBen

    by secretcylon

    Don't even get me started on the "self-proclaimed" editors! Definitely true about Kahn. Also, the editing editing on ANH was a friggin master class in super-genius editing!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Of course these reviews are a waste of time!...

    by ObiBen

    ...but I'm bored!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:29 p.m. CST

    It would be a lot easier to forget the prequels

    by Samuel Fulmer

    If Lucas comes out with anamorphic versions of the original unaltered films. The way they stand now, he keeps adding prequel stuff into the old films. It's kind of like if they did a new edit of the first Superman movie and put in Richard Pryor and Nuclear Man.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:29 p.m. CST

    @lotharius3rd1118

    by silents47

    Ah, sorry, I misunderstood. <p> From my understanding, it can apparently be completely random, like with about half of Luke's first batch of trainees, but most Jedi I've read about seem to be descended from other Jedi.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:30 p.m. CST

    I spent the majority of the work day

    by superfleish76

    checking these talkbacks, and I just came to the full realization how fucking sad that is. For those of you that love or even like the prequels, I envy you. I have tried to like them, I really did. I was in denial about how bad they were until I finally saw ROTS and realized that Lucas just completely failed to create characters that I cared one bit about. I love these reviews because he summarizes so many flaws that I have felt but never spent the energy to fully flesh out in my mind. To me, the only reason the prequels are not looked at as being 'Battlefield Earth' bad, is that they have the Star Wars tag. There is no way that any of these would have been made as they are if not for the original Trilogy, and that, to me is the saddest part.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:31 p.m. CST

    One of the worst plot holes of AOTC

    by SlickyVonBoner

    Obi-wan goes to Kamino and discovers the clone army. A clone army using the DNA of Jango Fett a bounty hunter. A bounty hunter he finds is working for Count Dooku. Count Dooku, who is now a separatist. ............ Why would anyone create 2 armies to battle each other when you could use both to take over a galactic republic that has NO STANDING ARMY!!!! So fucking stupid.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:33 p.m. CST

    superfleish76

    by secretcylon

    Too true.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:38 p.m. CST

    D,Vader

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    I think it was a series of books, maybe the first Star Wars novels even (other than the novelizations of the OT) that came out int he alte 70s/80s of Han's/Chewiy's adventures. Splinter in the Mind's Eye was one of em.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:38 p.m. CST

    It would be fun to see Palpatine's master plan

    by lotharius3rd1118

    portrayed as a comedy of errors. What if the Geonosians created a pretty badass army of droids and the clones didn't stand a chance? Then Dooku would gain control of the galaxy. What would Palpatine have done then? As is, he's wrestling with himself for glactic domination. <p> I thought it would have been much more interesting if Dooku would have been portrayed as a noble, but flawed good guy that everyone percieves as being evil until the last minute when the phantom menace of Palpatine reveals itself. It seemed like that's kinda where they were heading during the scene where Dooku and Obi-Wan discuss Sith influence in the Senate while Obi's being held in stasis by the Geonosians.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:39 p.m. CST

    secretcylon - editing in anh

    by ObiBen

    Absolutely, that's what apparently saved the film! Although I work around editing software all the time, and I could slap some material on a timeline to make something semi-watchable, I would never call myself an editor: real editors are like real musicians or writers...they can create beats and make something work and make it look easy, but it's really difficult, especially if you don't know the rules and the grammar.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:41 p.m. CST

    secretcylon

    by Mr.Stiggs

    Perhaps "a waste of time" is too harsh but these videos are definitely a misdirection of creativity. It’s easy to critique another person’s work when you only see then end result but unless you know how difficult it is to make a successful film (or any type of collaborative piece) and are willing and capable to contribute to that end then your opinion essentially becomes less valid. I guess that in some ways it's just an extension of my opinion that most critics are essentially “armchair quarterbacks”.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:42 p.m. CST

    "Never trust your own judgement again"

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    hahahah. And i agree it's amazing that how bad TPM is, it is sadly the best the prequels would ever get, and it really is mindboggling to think that it got worse with the other two.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:43 p.m. CST

    Shit, I'm actually IN the 501st

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    And can't stand the prequels. <br><br> This guy's spot on with his review. It's not just saying ahhhh, I dont like them and makes jokes. He picks apart the feel and the reasons why it doesnt work. 9 parts is alot of ranting, but AOTC does it to itself really. It gives him alot of material to work with, lol.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:51 p.m. CST

    jesus a star wars review talkback

    by sith_rising

    still owns any other talkback!

  • April 5, 2010, 4:53 p.m. CST

    SlickyVonBoner

    by smackfu

    That's not actually a plot hole, it's one of the few, probably the only, well thought out ideas in the prequel trilogy. It's an ingenious way of inflicting totalitarianism on a people. It's sort of like this. If a US president wanted to implement totalitarianism, and did so by just marching 2 giant armys into the country (their own and a hired one) they'd have the full resistance of the US citizens right from the start. People would be instantly mobilized and fighting, and it would not end productively for that president. Either the people would defeat the armys after decades of insurgency, or the 2 big armys win by sheer force, but now the people, and the infrastructure would be wiped out. BUT, if that same president created staged a fake invasion of the US with a hired army, he would have an excuse to implement martial law without the people objecting. Once the 'war' was over, all he now has to do is just leave martial law in place. At this point it is too late for the people to truly put up a significant struggle, because the institution to control and subdue them is already fully in place.<br><br>So I'm afraid you haven't found a plot hole at all. You've just demonstrated that lacked the intelligence to fully comprehend a plot device. In a Star Wars film.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:54 p.m. CST

    @smackfu

    by silents47

    Awww... might have been a little much to imply that he's dumber than George Lucas.

  • April 5, 2010, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Mr.Stiggs

    by ObiBen

    Suppose I'm a famous chef and I serve you risotto. Undercooked and bland. Will you still pay for it because I make my point that making a risotto takes great care and attention (for the sake of argument), and that perhaps, even, you have never made one yourself? Food critics being merely arm chair chefs invalidates the fact that I screwed my risotto?

  • April 5, 2010, 5 p.m. CST

    Jango Fett is a Creepy Pedophile

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

    Why the fuck did he want to keep a younger version of himself? to me its very similar to when Liberace sent his boyfriend to get plastic surgery so he'd look like him.

  • April 5, 2010, 5 p.m. CST

    "..but it IS made for kids"

    by Billyeveryteen

    Amputations, decapitations, slaughtering of children, and disputed trade routes??<p>You got some funky kids.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:02 p.m. CST

    It grossed that kind of money because it was Star Wars.

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

  • April 5, 2010, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Mmmhhh!...

    by ObiBen

    ...duck&mushroom risotto....

  • April 5, 2010, 5:05 p.m. CST

    y all the hate??

    by darthwaz1

    it's sci fi fantasy, fun to watch, great environments, cool characters. that's all the originals were too.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:06 p.m. CST

    WAIT WAIT WAIT

    by D o o d

    Who's an asshole again?

  • April 5, 2010, 5:07 p.m. CST

    The Risotto analogy

    by magnetoelectric

    Works best if the customer being served is a critic, at a table full of other critics, in a restaurant thats world renowned for its risotto.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Boner toast.

    by ColonelFatheart

    That is all.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:11 p.m. CST

    TIME TO GO IN THE REFRIGERATOR!

    by Rhuragh

    Bwahahahahahaha. I haven't read more than the first dozen or so comments, so, this has probably already been covered. Although his delivery is kind of retarded, it is deliberately so. His analysis of the film is surprisingly and incredibly erudite and informed. However, he realizes that he's essentially deep reading Star Wars like it's something by Kubrick or Kurosawa. The proposition is automatically risible, and his delivery and the running gag of abducting women reflects that. It really is genius work.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Dude there's a huge difference between

    by lotharius3rd1118

    "fuck me" eyes and "I'm totally violating you in my mind right now" gazes. Anakin's stares were downright creepy, man. IMO Part 5 of that review was absolutely brilliant and I'm sorry that you lack the sense of humor to enjoy it.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:14 p.m. CST

    ObiBen

    by Mr.Stiggs

    Allow me to counter your ridiculous scenario with another just as inane. Let’s say that you need brain surgery and you have two choices in regard to who performs the operation. The first choice is a world leading neurosurgeon with 40 years experience. The second is a guy who works as a janitor but has studied all the same texts and could definitely pass the medical exams “if he wanted to”. He has never attended medical school or performed a single operation but he has retained the same amount of medical knowledge as the anointed doctor. Would you consider using the second individual to save your life? If not then explain why you would decline. Isn’t his opinion on your case just as valid as the GUY WHO DOES THIS FOR A LIVING?

  • April 5, 2010, 5:21 p.m. CST

    Rhuragh

    by secretcylon

    Thank you!!! That's what I've been trying to express to Mr.Stiggs all day!!

  • April 5, 2010, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Mr.Stiggs

    by secretcylon

    Please read Rhuragh's post if you have time!!

  • April 5, 2010, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Revenge of Fett, Han/Leia vs. Anakin/Padme

    by MattmanReturns

    When Leia gets angry and tells Han to let go of her, that seemed much more real to me. She's angry about her true feelings for him, and she's denying them as long as possible, instead of spouting poetry at him. That's far more realistic, and the payoff is all the better for it when she finally tells him she loves him (at the last possible second). Also, the movie doesn't slow down and pause for the romance. Clones comes to a jarring halt.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:25 p.m. CST

    Sorry Mr Stiggs, I fail to understand your point

    by ObiBen

    You are implying that in my analogy, the customer or critic would rush to the kitchen and insist to cook his/her own meal him/herself, which was not the case. I'm only questionning the "if you can't do it yourself, shut up" attitude, which would leave society in tons of problems if we where following it. But hey, at least I know what I'm gonna cook for dinner tonight, thanks for being my muse!

  • April 5, 2010, 5:25 p.m. CST

    GO SUCK A WALRUS'S URETHRA

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    FAGGOT

  • April 5, 2010, 5:26 p.m. CST

    @darthwaz1

    by silents47

    "it's sci fi fantasy, fun to watch, great environments, cool characters. that's all the originals were too."<p> yes, no, no, no, and yes if you exclude the word "too."

  • April 5, 2010, 5:26 p.m. CST

    JackSlater4, I think most people simply agree with him

    by MattmanReturns

  • April 5, 2010, 5:31 p.m. CST

    SlickyVonBoner, you missed an important point

    by D.Vader

    The point, for the Sith, was NOT to take over the Galaxy by Force, but to legally do so by sowing so much fear and discord that they would be looked upon as saviors. It was also a way for them to get rid of the Jedi without going into full-blown genocide mode. This is widely known.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:35 p.m. CST

    Yeesh, Scorpio, settle down

    by D.Vader

    Who are you yelling at? <p> And wasn't Splinter in the Mind's Eye one of the very first side-fictions to come out for STar Wars?

  • April 5, 2010, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Yes some of his criticisms get badied about

    by lotharius3rd1118

    by lazy TBer's. I thought his thing on Sam Jackson's involvement being a blatant cash grab was pretty baseless, but doesn't change the lameness of the Mace Windu character. Also, you start bashing the presentation and then make silly arguments like how Christensen and Portman had palpable chemistry in the love scenes and that the Coruscant chase made perfect sense. That was my problem with your attacks of the reviews. Sorry about calling you an idiot, though. I'm hungover.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Who's Scorpio yelling at?

    by lotharius3rd1118

    Am I a faggot? Oh no.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:39 p.m. CST

    2) There is a brilliant idea behind them. The story is amazing.

    by cool_britannia79

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Please summarize this 'amazing' story.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:41 p.m. CST

    @D.Vader

    by silents47

    The first one, actually... it was going to be filmed as a low-budget sequel if SW didn't do as well as it did. Han isn't even in it, because Ford wasn't signed on for sequels yet and it has no extended fights in order to keep special effects costs down. Also, it kinda sucked.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Rhuragh said it all.

    by Koborover

    And I think this AOTC review is Plinkett's best yet.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:42 p.m. CST

    ObiBen

    by Mr.Stiggs

    It seems that you are implying that anyone who self appoints themselves a “critic” (or a brain surgeon) should have their opinion seriously regarded for its validity and worth . Shortly after I graduated college I worked with a girl who had a side job writing movie reviews for a major metropolitan newspaper. I was young and easily impressed and I stated “Wow, that’s impressive. How did you land such an influential and relevant job at such at your age?”. She said. “I went in for an interview, showed them some of my college essays (non-film related) and they gave me the job”. I then asked “ what did you major in during college?”. She answered “economics”.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:42 p.m. CST

    I think it is a pretty good story too

    by D.Vader

    It just gets buried by things that are not so good.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Ahem. So Sith like to do things legally now?

    by SlickyVonBoner

    So giving your enemies an army to fight you with is good strategy? By TPM Palpatine was in control of the Trade Federation's armies, but instead of attacking the Republic (and the Jedi) with his army.. he waits 10 years so he can grow an army for his enemies.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Han Solo isn't in Splinter of the Mind's Eye?

    by D.Vader

    But its considered part of the Han Solo trilogy (according to Scorpio)? How does that work?

  • April 5, 2010, 5:48 p.m. CST

    VonBoner

    by D.Vader

    Palpatine was sowing discord and fear everywhere so that they'd look to HIM as a savior, not a tyrant, and they'd literally hand him the keys to the kingdom- which they did. It was a pretty good plan considering it worked. Your idea might work too, but I think Palaptine's machinations work better in his favor.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:48 p.m. CST

    @D.Vader

    by silents47

    It's not... he was wrong. The Han Solo trilogy was written by A.C. Crispin, Splinter was by Alan Dean Foster (the guy who wrote the screenplay for ANH). Splinter takes place after ANH on what could be Dagobah, and the Han Solo Trilogy follows him from about 10 years before ANH.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:50 p.m. CST

    "Here, I just destroyed world after world with war..."

    by D.Vader

    "Now I make one of my armies fold, go back to the other side and take credit for winning, and now they'll look to me as a savior, I change the government under the guise of making things better, and BAM, I'm in control of EVERYTHING *AND* my enemies are dead! Huzzah!" <p> Yeah, Von Boner. It was a good plan.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:51 p.m. CST

    Fett sure spends a lot of time on here...

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    For a writer "published since he was sixteen" with a "script" at a "production house."<p>Hey, Fett, I actually offered you money. Did you catch that? I will pay your publisher (and, by extension, you) for a copy of your work. You certainly have a lot of time for arguments and defense of TPM and AOTC here, but not enough to post the link to your "published" works. What's up with that? Don't you want money? Don't you want your work to be read by others?<p>Also, I think I'm still waiting on that school with the "degree" in "print journalism."<p>Were you gonna get either of those to me or are you gonna add "Liar" to your other title of "Moronic Defender of the Indefensible?"

  • April 5, 2010, 5:51 p.m. CST

    Yeah I remember Splinter of a Mind's Eye

    by D.Vader

    Having some wicked 70's artwork with ANH style Luke in a jungle or swamp shooting at Vader with his blaster or something. <p> So then, Silent, can you tell me what the Han Solo trilogy was about in a nutshell?

  • April 5, 2010, 5:51 p.m. CST

    @VonBoner

    by silents47

    It's actually an incredibly good idea, since no matter who wins the war, he wins. Especially with Order 66 in his back pocket. Such a good idea, in fact, I'm going to assume Kasdan had it in his original ESB draft and George struck it from existence to take it.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Secret History of Star Wars

    by seniorspeilbergio

    http://www.drb eat.li/a lbum/B%C3%BCcher/The_Secret_History_of_Star_Wars.pdf. This says it all.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:54 p.m. CST

    and the icing on the cake...

    by SlickyVonBoner

    In ROTS The Emperor kills all of his separatist allies and deactivates the droid armies... cause, ya know... now that you're finally in control of the galaxy YOU won't need your friends and you'll halve the size of your forces. What about the thousands of worlds that were allied with the separatists? They are magically and peacefully allied with the new Empire that sprung from the Republic? Let's assume he forcefully took those non-republic worlds... Well if he had to do that with half the galaxy, why not take over the whole galaxy from the beginning. IT MAKES NO SENSE!

  • April 5, 2010, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Self appointed critics

    by ObiBen

    Seriously regarded? Not necessarily. But that wasn't my point.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Palpatine's plan was brilliant

    by MattmanReturns

    and actually fairly simple. He played both sides against each other and then made himself the hero/savior. Honestly, this plot point was not a problem. It's the convoluted methods in which Lucas went about conveying it, and all the other bullshit surrounding it.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Stiggs, I apologize for the insult

    by The Bicycle Sharer

    My annoyance at Fett might've bled over. I do, however, stand by the fact that I produced the "direct-to-video" or whatever work of Plinkett. Now, you may try to save face by denigrating the work, but the fact remains that your inane criticism ("why doesn't he MAKE HIS OWN FRIGGIN' MOVIE") has actually been shown to be quite ignorant. It's one thing to say that you think Plinkett is off-base, wrong, or that his video was poorly done, but as to why he doesn't "MAKE HIS OWN FRIGGIN' MOVIE"? Geez, dude, learn to use the internet.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:58 p.m. CST

    @D.Vader

    by silents47

    Basically, it follows Han from when he's a kid living on the streets. He gets picked up by a scammer and is forced to work on a pirate vessel. He escapes, joins the Imperial Academy, gets kicked out, falls in love with some chick, meets Chewie (who isn't the chick he falls in love with), works for Jabba, wins the Falcon from Lando, lover chick dies getting the Death Star 1 plans for the Alliance and getting them to Leia (lol), Han has to dump his cargo at Kessel like we heard him telling Greedo, goes back to Tatooine... and sits down at the table with Obi-Wan and Luke. It actually goes right up to that exact moment.

  • April 5, 2010, 5:59 p.m. CST

    JackSlater4, a lot of us liked it at the time

    by MattmanReturns

    It was Star Wars. Personally, I was in denial. After seeing it a couple more times, and as my initial excitement died down, it started falling apart. I think that was true for a lot of people. The only prequel I still like is Episode III. It has the most crucial story points, and the least nonsense (although it still has nonsense).

  • April 5, 2010, 6:01 p.m. CST

    VonBoner, if you still don't think it makes sense by now...

    by D.Vader

    I think you're beyond convincing. Also, the Separatists did NOT want to take over the Galaxy; I think they just wanted to split. But in the end, most of the worlds that contributed to the Separatist cause were actually corporate interests like the Banking Clan and Trade Federation, etc etc. Powers that were interested in war profiteering. <p> And yeah, once the War was over, the Clone Armies went and subdued the worlds that continued to fight. And some bad shit went down, wookiees were sold into slavery, and another Civil War erupted a generation later. <p> But in the meantime, Palpatine got what he wanted with the least resistance.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:03 p.m. CST

    @MattmanReturns

    by silents47

    III works until you remember the major plot points of Padme dying of a broken heart because she lacks the will to keep herself alive for her TWO NEWBORN FUCKING CHILDREN, Anakin being able to kill fucking Swordmaster Cin Drallig with a lightsaber, Grievous being such a little girl after being so badass in Clone Wars, etc.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:03 p.m. CST

    haters be damned

    by blackhole4140

    These clips are a lot of fun and rightfully deserve a place here at AICN; reaction alone proves that.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Palpatine wants to be viewed as a savior..

    by SlickyVonBoner

    But after he declares himself Emperor, he puts worlds under martial law, enslaves races like the Wookie for labor camps, and build weapons like Death Stars that destroy entire worlds that rebel against you. So he spent decades masquerading as a senator and a chancellor so that the galaxy would WANT him to rule as a dictator. It seems to me that the easier route would have been to conquer the galaxy way back in TPM. The results would have been the same.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Silent47, that actually sounds pretty damn cool

    by D.Vader

    Does he still free Chewie from slavery like I've always heard?

  • April 5, 2010, 6:07 p.m. CST

    I like Plinket because...

    by cgih8r

    He makes me appreciate how good the first movies were. He makes me look at the prequels in a whole new way, I pick up new things I didn't notice before, and now I get to see them for what they are. It's refreshing to hear his criticisms of the story, the misuse of characters and the overuse of CGI because they are my thoughts exactly and I am glad to see many people on here can agree on that. My only wish is that with word of mouth Lucas will eventually hear this review. I also wish that a new trilogy is made and Plinket is the director.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:07 p.m. CST

    @D.Vader

    by silents47

    Yeah, it's a major part of the second book, I believe. It's a pretty sweet trilogy. I was referring to Splinter as bad before, but I think that's mostly because I'm a canon fanatic and it doesn't fit. It might actually be a great story, but I'm automatically biased.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:07 p.m. CST

    No VonBoner, it wouldn

    by D.Vader

  • April 5, 2010, 6:07 p.m. CST

    The Bicycle Sharer

    by Mr.Stiggs

    You told me to "go suck my (dead) father's dick" because you happen to have a different opinion tahn I do of a ridiculous Youtube. Now you expect me to just accept your lame apology. GO FUCK YOURSELF

  • April 5, 2010, 6:09 p.m. CST

    The Bicycle Sharer

    by Mr.Stiggs

    You told me to "go suck my (dead) father's dick" because you happen to have a different opinion than I do of a ridiculous Youtube video. Now you expect me to just accept your lame apology. GO FUCK YOURSELF

  • April 5, 2010, 6:09 p.m. CST

    @CGIh8r

    by silents47

    Except for the last part, I can agree with that. I was just watching part 5 again and listened to the dialogue... then went back and watched part of ANH.<p> "Uh, we had a slight sourcing malfunction, but…uh, everything's perfectly fine now. We're fine. We're all fine here now. How are you?" Remember how amazing that line's delivery was? Compare that to AoTC.<p> Ugh.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:10 p.m. CST

    Harry's Attack of the Clones review

    by WerePlatypus

    Never forget.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Wow..

    by silents47

    "delivery" wasn't the word I meant to use, but you get the idea. AOTC script < ________________ (fill in the blank)

  • April 5, 2010, 6:12 p.m. CST

    No VonBoner, it wouldn't have been

    by D.Vader

    First off, if you missed smackfu's response to you, you need to read it right now. He illustrates why its important to not just "take over", bc attempting to do so would have created more worlds that were already up in arms against him by the time he tried to move on them. <p> Also remember that Palpatine DID cause a temporary peace by ending the War and taking power. And the bit about "martial law"- that's not true, just an example of what he was doing. He kept all the war powers he was granted by the Senate and basically made himself a dictator by legal means. I don't think he instituted martial law all over the galaxy over night. The trouble began when he started taking away more and more freedoms over the years, up until by the time of A New Hope- nearly 20 years later- he had dissolved the Senate COMPLETELY. So for 20 years, he still allowed the Republic, er Empire, to believe their elected officials had some say in government. Which was a total lie. <p> And he wasn't "masquerading" as a senator or a Chancellor, he fucking WAS a Senator and a Chancellor. The slimy worm got people to vote for him based on sympathy for his poor world of Naboo.<p> And regarding the Clone Army, he couldn't order their creation until he became Chancellor and had the means to forge Syfo-Dias' order. I'm still unclear on how that worked, whether it was Dooku who did it or Palpatine himself. <p> Either way, in the end, his plan is still better than yours. So far you haven't given me any good, strong points that tell me just taking over the galaxy by force from the beginning would have been better.

  • April 5, 2010, 6:13 p.m. CST

    I think KOTOR understood the sith more.

    by SlickyVonBoner

    The comics and video games. Sith are about anger and passion, war and subjugation. Go to The Old Republic MMO site and watch the Deceived cinematic trailer. THAT is the Sith. Imagine a prequel trilogy done like that. Those 3 minutes are better than the whole prequel trilogy combined.