"I'm gonna be good and drunk in the next five minutes!" I am – Hercules!! I hereby declare Rupert Boneham the game’s all-time whiniest player. The basketball-like game that injured James during the last episodes is called Schmergenbrawl, and will never be played again on “Survivor.” Reason? The first time it was played during “Samoa,” old chef Mike collapsed and had to be evacuated. The second time, muscleman gravedigger James was injured and could barely walk afterwards. More conventional basketball has pushed “Survivor” up to Wednesday this week, and both the heroes and the villains have to kick somebody out tonight. That means there’s no deferring the Rob/Russell war. Even though Russell has an idol, Jeff Probst says he’d team up with Rob if he were playing this season, so that may be a clue to tonight’s outcome. (Probst also says the two celebrities he’d most like to see play the game are superfan Neil Patick Harris – also a superfan of “Big Brother” – and superblowhard Donald Trump. Sold!) Here’s why gorgeous, half-naked Amanda fears James’ expulsion: 8 p.m. Wednesday. CBS. Follow Herc on Twitter!! Follow Evil Herc on Twitter!!

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