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Monster Squad remake? Will Wolf Man still have nards? I dunno... Updated with a comment from Fred Dekker

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. It's not a surprise I'm the one posting this as I'm the resident Monster Squad fanatic around these parts. It was only a matter of time before the powers that be decided to remake Monster Squad. If it had stayed the childhood favorite not on DVD or Blu-Ray we might be able to keep it, but the trade-off of the DVDs moving like hotcakes and the film getting a second life is that there's now a perception of money in the franchise... and they're not wrong. I'm sure it's a sound business decision? I mean, a kids adventure movie with classic monsters is a great concept. Deadline's Mike Fleming broke the news that Paramount is moving on a remake with original Squad producer Rob Cohen eye-balling the director's chair this time out. The big question is what kind of Monster Squad movie could possibly be made in this studio environment? There's not going to be the same edge... don't forget that original director Fred Dekker co-wrote the script with Shane Black. The script to the '80s movie is sharp, funny and edgy for the concept. It's also filled with genuine love and nostalgia for the original Universal monsters. I don't know if a movie like that is going to come out of the studio system today. This is an uphill battle to say the least. We gotta see who writes and who ends up truly directing, but if it's Cohen I don't think I could get excited for it.

Quint here again with a little comment I received from original Squad director and co-creator Fred Dekker regarding the proposed remake:
It'd be one thing if another filmmaker wanted to soil my sandbox... but if it weren't for Rob Cohen, the original movie would never have been made. So I don't begrudge him wanting to play in his own sandbox. I wish him well, and thank him for the opportunity he gave me in the first place.
Obviously that's a very political statement and Fred's a very nice guy in general, so I don't doubt its sincerity. But as a fan, I don't know if 2010 Rob Cohen is the right guy to helm this project if the studio is hellbent on forcing a remake. They need someone hungry, someone fresh and someone with a real, deep-rooted respect and love for the classic monsters to even give this flick a chance. I've never met Cohen, he could have that love in place, but it doesn't sit well with me that he wants to direct a remake to a movie he produced 23 years ago. We'll see where this one goes, yeah?

-Quint Follow Me On Twitter

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  • March 18, 2010, 6:52 p.m. CST


    by DoctorSubmarine


  • March 18, 2010, 6:52 p.m. CST

    His name...

    by loafroaster Horace!

  • March 18, 2010, 6:52 p.m. CST

    Should we be surprised?

    by JediRob

    A remake of a marginally successful 80's cult movie?

  • March 18, 2010, 6:53 p.m. CST

    Fake and gay

    by Colt19801980

    fake and gay

  • March 18, 2010, 6:53 p.m. CST

    I mean "Finally"

    by DoctorSubmarine

    as in 'Finally, I'm first.'

  • March 18, 2010, 6:54 p.m. CST

    Don't be chicken shit!

    by darthpigman

  • March 18, 2010, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Also "Predators" trailer is up at IGN.

    by JediRob

  • March 18, 2010, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Fess Parker Obit

    by jimbojones123

    He has been mentioned several times in Harry's DVD column in reference to his Walt Disney Treasures releases.

  • March 18, 2010, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Stop the remakes already!!

    by raidahguy

    The Mostar Squad was a good movie, but why remake what you cant recreate and instead just remake bad films that had good concepts. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Can we get a Hulk sequel as well?!!! WTF?!!!!

  • March 18, 2010, 7:01 p.m. CST

    R.I.P. - Fess Parker

    by Nice Marmot

    King of the wild frontier . . .

  • March 18, 2010, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Silver Age Universal Monster greats to be replaced by

    by theycallmemrtibbs

    newer, hipper, monsters of today's generation. <p> They are Jigsaw, Gollum, Paranormal Activity ghost and The Cloverfield monster.

  • March 18, 2010, 7:05 p.m. CST

    I'm telling you, that Goonies remake is coming.....

    by amrisharmpit

    Pretty much every other '80s movie is getting remade or revived, so you know that one is next. Stop the insanity.

  • March 18, 2010, 7:05 p.m. CST


    by loafroaster

    ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa

  • March 18, 2010, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Fess may be sitting in the afterlife corner with Roy Disney

    by jimbojones123

    Finally reunited with Old Yeller.

  • March 18, 2010, 7:09 p.m. CST

    Quint, pat yourself on the back

    by jimbojones123

    If not for this site's power push, there would still not even be a DVD.

  • March 18, 2010, 7:11 p.m. CST

    wow, The new Predators trailer....

    by theycallmemrtibbs

    Just made me forget AVP and AVPR ever existed.....Looks good <p>

  • March 18, 2010, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Monster Squad remake = Hollywood CEOs pissing

    by HucksterFinn

    on Brent Chalem's grave. I have a katana, and it's aimed at all your necks studios

  • March 18, 2010, 7:16 p.m. CST

    Davvvvvvvvvyyyyy Davvvvvvvvvyyy Crocket!!!!

    by TheJudger

    King of the Wild Frontier! <P> Don't give a shit about this news. Came to the conclusion not to long ago that remakes dont ruin the originals, and they arent worth a shit. Like cover songs. You can waste your time listening to them and hating them the whole way through, or you can just outright ignore them. They are cover songs after all. Nothing original or new.

  • March 18, 2010, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Yeah, that Predators trailer DOES look good

    by slone13

  • March 18, 2010, 7:21 p.m. CST

    hopefully dark

    by yubnubrocks

    I hope they make this "dark" and "edgy" lol

  • March 18, 2010, 7:21 p.m. CST

    Why this can't possibly be good....

    by IndustryKiller!

    Because what is really extraordinary about the original, is that the kids actually act like kids. They swear, they are kind of assholes to one another, and they feel honest. And while the plot is incredibly thin, it's got that heart that actually makes it seem like someone cared and it's got really great practical monster effects. No fucking way do any of those things happen in any modern remake.

  • March 18, 2010, 7:25 p.m. CST

    I smell a bigger 'nards-up' than....

    by Cervantes

    ....'Van Helsing' coming....

  • March 18, 2010, 7:26 p.m. CST

    Could work...

    by Human_Bean_Juice_

    The original is feeling its age. Go for ordinary looking kids with real, suited monsters and you never know.

  • March 18, 2010, 7:27 p.m. CST

    The new Monster Squad,

    by theycallmemrtibbs

    will consists of The triumphant return of Macaulay Culkin and Corey Feldman back to the big screen! Also we can't go wrong with the slapstick antics of Micheal Cera and the comic relief of Bobb'e J. Thompson, (the lil' potty mouth kid from Role Models)

  • March 18, 2010, 7:27 p.m. CST

    Dracula Wants The Amulet!!!!!!

    by TheJudger

    Has been said in every fucking AICN thread related to this film. Why stop now...

  • March 18, 2010, 7:28 p.m. CST

    You Bitch!

    by TheJudger

  • March 18, 2010, 7:28 p.m. CST

    I watched MS again recently.

    by Traumnovelle

    It holds up really well. And I never knew Shane Black co-wrote it. They use the word 'faggot' like five times in the first twenty minutes. Ahh, the 80's were such a simpler time..

  • March 18, 2010, 7:33 p.m. CST

    OH FUCK NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by Hint_of_Smegma


  • March 18, 2010, 7:35 p.m. CST

    Monster Squad should be remade

    by SideshowCollectiblesMarketingDepartment

    To me, it was always a poor man's Goonies. That was the superior picture.

  • March 18, 2010, 7:36 p.m. CST

    AICN is eternally sucking Shane Black's cock it seems?

    by SideshowCollectiblesMarketingDepartment

  • March 18, 2010, 7:44 p.m. CST

    Going back (YET AGAIN) to the Gen.X movie well Hollywood?

    by Thanos0145

    How about you come up with some Original ideas instead. The Monster Squad is a cult favorite and doesn't need to be remade.<p>Remake movies that had a good premise but was poorly made instead.

  • March 18, 2010, 8:04 p.m. CST

    Lazlo Hollyfeld gotta eat! Recast Jon Gries!

    by Shut the Fuck up Donny

    He's held up pretty well, and always a fun character actor. Wouldn't mind seeing him revisit the Wolfman.

  • March 18, 2010, 8:20 p.m. CST


    by Wolfman Nards


  • March 18, 2010, 8:22 p.m. CST

    And this will be a failure. Mark my words.

    by Wolfman Nards

    There is no way this will get made. And if it does, it will forever taint our fond memories.

  • March 18, 2010, 8:27 p.m. CST

    ...I want a japanese ghost girl in it!

    by yourSTEPDADDY

  • March 18, 2010, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Quint, you don't know how they'll make this?

    by RefutetheHype

    In the studio environment? I know how this will be/has been pitched already. "This time..........the KIDS are the monsters!" You'll get a TWILIGHT leader boy, a Harry Potter With Attitude witch girl, a ghost dork best friend, a metal-loving werewolf, an Asian kid who is a demon/devil who can do martial arts and is indestructible, and they'll all have to fight AWEEEEYEAAHHHHHHHHHH awesome versions of the old monsters who will not resemble the old monsters at all. Come on. You couldn't figure that out? Can't you even see the poster now? THIS TIME...WE'RE THE MONSTERS.

  • March 18, 2010, 9:17 p.m. CST

    I can see it now,

    by theycallmemrtibbs

    Macaulay leads his Monster Squad into the Cloverfield's monsters lair in an attempt to slay it with Sauron's ring that Micheal Cera confiscated from Gollum after literally talking him to death while apologizing at the same time. <p> The group of unlikely heroes quietly approach a Cloverfield Monster who is sound asleep and unaware of they're presence. <p> Macaulay reaches into his backpack which reads "I'm the real Kevin" on it, fumbling frantically for his weapon of choice. <p> Corey Feldman is shadowing him along with the other two, they are all afraid but find courage to push forward. <p> Dripping in sweat and pissing himself, Cera makes a sound... <p> Micheal Cera: UMM, UMMM--excuse me guys? I'm terribly sorry, But I-I don't think I'm going to make it. You see, I pissed myself and it's quite wet and I I I think I better go clean myself up. <p> Corey Feldman: (Who is obviously irritated and angry from last night's coke binge) Shhh! Shhh! Shut up! What're trying to do? --get us killed? <P> Bobb'e J. Thompson: Yeah shut up! You acting like a BITCH! <p> Finally Macauley pulls a slingshot from his bag and arms it with a smooth shaped rock. <p> Corey Feldman: What're doing? What is that? A rock? <p> Macalay Culkin: Not just any rock, it's my lucky rock.... It's gotten me out of sticky situations a bunch of times! <p> Corey Feldman: Are you serious? What happened to the ring? <p> Bobb'e J. Thompson: You mean that cheap ass ring that was in white boy's bag? Man I pawned that shit and bought some boobies! <p> Macaulay Culkin: Don't worry, I got the situation under control. (Pulling the slingshot back and aiming it toward the huge monster) I'm gonna hit him right between the eyes. <p> Corey Feldman: Wait a minute: (Grabbing Macaulay's arm) You're going to take on a 10,000 pound, 50 foot tall monster with a FUCKING ROCK? AND IT'S NOT EVEN A CRACKROCK? --ARE YOU INSANE? As he pulls in closer towards Macaulay's face which was hidden somewhat in the shadows. <p> Hey! You're not Haim! What is this shit--I'm outta here! I'm calling Bonaduce, he's been itching to kick your ass! (stomping away furiously) Fuckin' hack! <p> Suddenly, our Heroes are frozen in they're tracks by the abrupt slamming of a door. <p> Bobb'e J. Thompson: (eyes bucked) Did you hear that? <p> Micheal Cera: If you mean the abrupt closing of a door that has no place inside a cave with a fairly large creature in it that would have no use for a door then yes, I heard that. <p> Suddenly a television sitting angled off in a corner of the cave pops on and the Jigsaw puppet appears. <p> Jigsaw: Hello, Macaulay, Corey, I want to play a game. Up until now, you have spent your lives among the dead, piecing together what's left of your careers. Sulking about the death of Micheal Jackson and Corey--Corey? I'm sorry which one are you? It doesn't matter. <p> You're good at this because, you, like them, are also dead. Dead on the inside. You identify more with a cold corpse than you do with a living human. I know Corey, I saw the sex tape you made at the city morgue. <p> Corey Feldman: Hayyy! I was lonely! I had no one to hold! YOU'RE NOT MY JUDGE! <p> (Everyone in the room looks disgusted and slowly step backwards, separating themselves from Feldman.) <p> Jigsaw continues: I believe you want to rejuvenate your careers, I can give you a choice. I can offer you roles in Judd Apatow Comedies. By the time this tape is finished, you will have one minute to find a way out. At the end of that minute... An electric charge will run underneath the Cloverfield monster and awaken him. You should know better than anyone, what happens then. There is a single key that will unlock the door, that the Paranormal Activity demon skillfully closed. <p> Macaulay, Corey, It is right in front of you. Hiding in the stomach of one of you-- <p> (Pointing in the direction of Micheal and Bobb'e ) <p> who have worked with Apatow last. All you have to do Macaulay and Corey is reach in and take it. But do it quickly, the acid will dissolve the key in a matter of seconds. Is it Cera or the lil' potty mouth kid from Role Models, Make your choice. <p> Before Jigsaw can finish his last sentence Corey Feldman has already furiously stabbed Bobb'e J. Thompson to death and searched through his butchered remains. <p> Corey Feldman: Well, sigh (wiping blood and sweat from his brow), It wasn't him. Let's see what frail boys holdin'. <p> The scene fades out with Corey Feldman holding a knife and Macaulay Culkin approaching Micheal Cera clinching his face with both hands screaming <p> Macaulay Culkin : Not bad.. you need to work on your pitch, here let me help... <p> Fade to black

  • March 18, 2010, 9:29 p.m. CST

    We'll always have the original

    by SoylentMean

    "Guys, dont be chickenshit"

  • March 18, 2010, 9:42 p.m. CST

    Can't be better than the original

    by D.Vader

    There's no way. Dracula will now be some Euro-trash Goth-Emo punk or some combination of all 3 stereotypes.

  • March 18, 2010, 9:49 p.m. CST

    Did Van Helsing work out well for Universal?

    by D.Vader

    Do they really think this will?

  • March 18, 2010, 10:44 p.m. CST


    by uberman

    We need a big screen, A list director and writer to remake 'IT' and stay true to the Universal Monsters as killers it protrayed. But Never EVER Never let King write the screenplay. Word.

  • March 18, 2010, 10:44 p.m. CST


    by phoenixmagida5th

    Original is a timeless classic with balls. Kids cursing (like kids in real life do) and kids shooting guns and smoking. U can't recapture this magic. This pisses me off. I love this film with all my heart

  • March 18, 2010, 11:28 p.m. CST

    also anyone ever notice in the

    by phoenixmagida5th

    Montage at the end all the kids are jumping to get the pic of the topless babe from frankienstien including her brother patrick!! That was the only wtf moment. He wanted to see his sisters tits? Lol I love this film

  • March 19, 2010, 1:58 a.m. CST

    What I don't get......

    by one9deuce

    is what films are they going to remake in another 20 years? Very little original material is coming out of Hollywood, are they just going to remake the remakes? Probably. <p> Here is the problem fellow movie geeks: When the original Studio System went down it was replaced by a battle between the new Hollywood Auteurs (Coppola, Scorcese, Spielberg, etc...) and the Corporations that purchased the Studios and still had no idea what they were doing. Which is why we had a decade of incredible films in the 70's (easily Hollywoods best decade) as the auteurs got free reign to do what they wanted. Then STAR WARS happened and the corporations that had purchased the studios realized a great genre movie could make a shit-ton of money. This created a perfect alchemy: auteur filmmakers that wanted to change the system mixed with the corporation-owned studios that wanted to repeat the success of STAR WARS. And we got...........the 80's. Movie geek heaven, and the perfect blend between art and commerce. It can never be like that again. <p> The way it works now is the studios take a known property, hire a music video director, television commercial director, or SFX guy that can give it a slick look but is no storyteller. Then they expertly promote it (which is what they have gotten truly good at). But no REAL filmmakers are in control anymore. With a few exceptions of course, a few interesting things have slipped through the cracks in the last two decades.

  • March 19, 2010, 2:04 a.m. CST

    Fred "RoboCop 3" Dekker?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Burn in hell.

  • March 19, 2010, 3:29 a.m. CST

    about the UPDATE

    by electronegativity

    i would have to say that Cohen directing a remake of The Monster Squad feels fishy; like i'm going to end up watching his take of the movie and it'll be similar to watching the anchor bay edition of 'Night of the Living Dead' where J. Russo shot 'new' footage for insertion. it's out of our hands; i'm just asking that it not be completely child-safe 'cause the original had nards and the new one better have some nards too... -n

  • March 19, 2010, 3:40 a.m. CST



    <p>I loved THE MONSTER SQUAD when I was a kid. We didn't use the word nards in England and I had no idea what they where saying. Adults may have known, but I thought they were saying either norks (but that was a word for tits) or nads (as that was a word for balls, but it didn't sound like that was the word they were saying).</p><p>I have no idea if the movie is actually good at all as it is up there with THE GOONIES as being one of the movies that I wont watch in case it is a massive disappointment.</p><p>I have a 6 year old son now though, maybe it is time to show him THE MONSTER SQUAD and THE GOONIES. What does everyone think?</p>

  • March 19, 2010, 3:58 a.m. CST


    by electronegativity

    first: only time i ever heard 'nards' used was in The Monster Squad. only time anyone i knew ever used 'nards' were referencing that movie. secondly, you're on to something. The Monster Squad technically was of "The Goonies Meet Frankenstein" spirit. Then again, when watching The Goonies film you can also see how it draws a lot of direct influence from Robert Altman's M*A*S*H...i could be wrong, i suppose.

  • March 19, 2010, 4 a.m. CST

    In 2011...You Will Believe......

    by GO14

    A Wolfman has nards.....

  • March 19, 2010, 4:44 a.m. CST

    Black and Dekker - the only two men for the job!

    by workshed

    This time let Shane direct it. You know it makes sense.

  • March 19, 2010, 4:49 a.m. CST

    and SUPERJIM...

    by workshed

    ...I've got two young daughters and they both were extremely fidgety for the first fifteen minutes but soon as it got going they were hooked. When Frankie-Stein goes into the vortex they were both in tears. Such a great film and in my top ten of 1980's kid's movies.

  • March 19, 2010, 5 a.m. CST

    The guy who did xXx and The Fast and the Furious?

    by Player_Two_has_entered_the_game

    Fuck right off! Terrible choice. Why not just get Dekker to make a sequel with the older cast now and their kids or something? Or at least give it to a first timer that as quint points out is "hungry" for it.

  • March 19, 2010, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Also bring back the Stan Winston guys

    by Player_Two_has_entered_the_game

    and let them do the frankenstein they wanted to do in the first place. That design wasn't their choice, they wanted classic frank with the bolts.

  • March 19, 2010, 5:33 a.m. CST

    electronegativity & workshed


    <p>Thanks electronegativity. I didn't know that most people will have been confused by the word Nards. I remember my friends having the same opinion as me, but I assumed that was because we were English.</p><p>workshed, maybe I will get a copy and try him out with it. I could make a double feature with that and THE GOONIES. Hopefully they will both hold up to my memories of how amazing they were when I watched them as a kid.</p>

  • March 19, 2010, 7 a.m. CST

    Again, Cohen is the Bizarro Sommers...

    by Anna Valerious

    Now I'm not saying Sommers should do this (Although maybe he should get Paul Weitz and Brian Hedland to work on another "Van Helsing"...), but when it comes to monsters, Cohen partially fucked up the "Mummy" series. However, Cohen DID also work with Richard Roxburgh in "Stealth", and (As this probably wouldn't happen, but it'd be cool) it would be nice to see him do another variation on Drac. Anna out. :)

  • March 19, 2010, 7:28 a.m. CST

    BTTF is next. I just know it.

    by WickedJester

    I almost don't want to buy the Blu-rays so they don't think they can make $ off a new BTTF movie.

  • March 19, 2010, 7:50 a.m. CST

    The only way ill be cool with this..

    by JBouganim1

    is if there is no cgi and walter groggins stars as every monster and also he stars as the team fighting the monsters. So essentially its Groggins vs Groggins. Hes the man you know so its justified

  • March 19, 2010, 7:50 a.m. CST

    The only way ill be cool with this..

    by JBouganim1

    is if there is no cgi and walter groggins stars as every monster and also he stars as the team fighting the monsters. So essentially its Groggins vs Groggins. Hes the man you know so its justified

  • March 19, 2010, 8:02 a.m. CST

    tell DEKKER to get back to work

    by Six Demon Bag

    the fries are getting soggy..

  • March 19, 2010, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Fuck Rob Cohen - uberhack

    by kwisatzhaderach

    That is all.

  • March 19, 2010, 8:13 a.m. CST

    wolfman`s got nards!!!

    by theDannerDaliel

  • March 19, 2010, 8:42 a.m. CST

    Maybe it will be good and make happiness and boners

    by MC_DLyte

    One thing not to make happiness and boners is a shit remake called Alice in a Pile of Shit 3-D that you can read a review for here

  • March 19, 2010, 9:14 a.m. CST

    PC casting

    by shutupfanboy

    I bet we get a black kid in the best friend role, Roddy doesn't smoke and there is no fat kid. I also can't see the kids using guns either. This is a bad idea.

  • March 19, 2010, 9:36 a.m. CST

    speaking as someone who first saw Monster Squad

    by The_Crimson_King

    in January of this year, I thought it was really cool, it almost seemed like a satire/subversion of 80's kids movies what with all the swearing and the gratuitous yet awesome shot of one the kid's sister in her pink underwear, it's a crying shame I never saw it as a kid because I would have freakin loved it

  • March 19, 2010, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Are we talking about the XXX and Fast and the Furious Guy?

    by DangerDave

    This is fucked then.

  • March 19, 2010, 11:05 a.m. CST


    by NixEclips

    Brilliantly summed up the evolution of Hollywood. Well done, my friend. Well done.

  • March 19, 2010, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Where's a DVD release of IF LOOKS COULD KILL? Dekker wrote that.

    by Monkey_King

    and it's a great film, especially being that it introduced BURN NOTICE hottie Gabrielle Anwar and was directed by HARRY AND THE HENDERSON's William Dear. Great underrated film that deserves an HD release on DVD with commentary by Dear and Dekker

  • March 19, 2010, 11:07 a.m. CST

    I've always wished Cohen's DRAGON film was more fact-based

    by Monkey_King

    ...than the 80% false garbage we were treated to.

  • March 19, 2010, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Monster Squad was the poor man's Goonies

    by _V_

  • March 19, 2010, 11:53 a.m. CST

    I could see this, but WHY remake it

    by idrinkyourmilkshake

    And if they do...will they get Napolean Dynamite's uncle BACK? aS THE WOLFMAN? I wouldn't have it any other way

  • March 19, 2010, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Yeah, but

    by idrinkyourmilkshake

    Will Garlic pizza burn Dracula's face? If not-count me out!

  • March 19, 2010, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Yeah, but

    by idrinkyourmilkshake

    will the bad guy have a cane where he takes lil "connectors" from and re-charges frankenstein? If not, count me out!

  • March 19, 2010, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Rob Cohen is one of the worst 'name' directors around...

    by Stegman84

    Not only is he incredibly generic, with no real sense of scope, vision or style, he has only gotten worse with age. He's the epitome of a man just pointing the camera and doing a job without passion or enthusiasm, and his films suffer for it. At least back in the day he mustered some enthusiasm and energy for some of his work, but I haven't seen anything approaching that from him in a long time now. He is directorial Ratner-Breed, and we should kill him and his kind before they spread.

  • March 19, 2010, 12:22 p.m. CST

    rob cohen = vapid shit

    by Waka_Flocka

    when i see his name written, i see a swirling mass of nothingness sugar coated in shit

  • March 19, 2010, 12:57 p.m. CST

    I piss all over this filth. It's sad to say my childhood....

    by Dr. Samuel Loomis

    is beyond fucking raped.

  • March 19, 2010, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Goonies with Monsters

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    I think people that have a deep love for this film are the same ones that say "Goonies was the BESTEST FILM EVAAAAH!"</p><p>Essentially, both film consist of kids runnign around screaming while decidedly unfunny things happen around them. I ADORE Universal monsters but I can't be bothered to spend the $8 it would cost to buy this Blu-ray at Walmart. THAT'S how completely retarded Monster Squad is.</p><p>So unless Cohen can have a HUGE comeback from the shitstain that was Mummy 3 and create a Universal monster film that doesn't have kids running around screaming throughout, I have approximately ZERO fucking interest in this remake. In fact, I hope it's total shit just to piss your rummy ass off. :)

  • March 19, 2010, 3:11 p.m. CST

    You want to remake a COOL similar movie?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Remake the fucking GATE! Now THAT was some badass shit! And Stephen Dorf isn't running around screaming like some pint-sized fuckin' Abbot and Costello!

  • March 19, 2010, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Rob Cohen has slipped down a SHIT SLIDE!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    He started off pretty good. Dragon: The Bruce Lee story is a good fuckin' movie! I don't know how truthful it is and I frankly don't give a shit.</p><p>Dragonheart wasn't too bad. Yes Dennis Quaid's voice was bizarre and the last few minutes with the stars reflected in his eyes and all that happy horseshit was stupid, but overall, good film.</p><p>Daylight is a taught little action film. Wasn't quite the second comeback Sly was hoping for, but I really like that film.</p><p>Most people think The Fast & The Furious is the best in the series. I just might think it's the worst, but he does deserve kudos for the slick-assed way he filmed the first race. Why he didn't do the rest that way, I don't know.</p><p>XXX was almost entirely crap. The action was bizarre and completely unrealistic. Vin's lines are mostly stupid. The only thing I really liked about it was Asia Argento's uber whore.</p><p>Stealth was garbage barely worth mentioning, except to say it was garbage.</p><p>And Mummy 3 I already stated was nothing but diarhea dripping down his leg.</p><p>Beware folks, I don't know why this hasn't been mentioned anywhere, but he is actively developing Mummy 4: Rise of teh Azteks! No I'm not fucking kidding. Go check out IMDB.

  • March 19, 2010, 4:02 p.m. CST

    one day they will be remaking COHEN's films..

    by Six Demon Bag

    then we will truly be fucked.

  • March 19, 2010, 6 p.m. CST

    Cohen IS AWFUL - MY GOD.

    by Mennen

    Mummy 3 anyone?

  • March 19, 2010, 6:40 p.m. CST

    UM...Michael Bay is producing this

    by knowledge1027

    NOOOOOOOOOOO! Please Mister Bay my childhood ass can't take anymore of your raping.

  • March 19, 2010, 7:22 p.m. CST

    Thank you Fett...

    by Anna Valerious

    ...for validating my point about him being the Bizarro Sommers.

  • March 20, 2010, 5:21 a.m. CST

    Wasn't there a raping of Pogue's script for DRAGONHEART as well

    by Monkey_King

    Charles Edward Pogue wrote two great scripts for DRAGONHEART and KULL THE CONQUEROR. Both films suffered from rewrites due to uncreative suits or Directors. KULL suffered horribly with it's new 'Star Warsy' dialogue, while DRAGONHEARTs ending and more was changed. At least it was popular enough to get a DtV sequel/prequel.

  • March 21, 2010, 5:06 p.m. CST

    In a world...

    by DougMcKenzie

    where the wolfman has no nards, a desperate film studio enlists an uber-hack to desecrate a movie classic, for the spunky tween market. "My mom says I can only see this movie if the wolfman wears pants!"