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Harry's DVD Picks & Peeks: 3rd wk of March. 2010: Bunch of Bad, Almodovar, Armored, Fred Williamson & Alien abduction!
Hey folks, Harry here with this week’s DVD column – few hours later than normal, but here still. I was doing this last night – picked the titles and pre-coded the article, but when I went to start writing it – my eyes began to fall heavy – and the lack of sleep from SXSW really killed me. These first several titles are all pretty weak to me – there isn’t a lot of greatness this week, that’s next week. As usual the images and titles link to Amazon for further information and purchasing ease. If you do buy through a link, I’d like to thank you. It helps more than you know. Here ya go…
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON
I like to think that everyone that didn’t like Joe Johnston’s WOLFMAN…. Is a fan of this. That thought just kinda makes me giggle. I still haven’t seen NEW MOON. Depending who you talk to, it is better or worse than TWILIGHT. I’m actually picking this up today, so Patricia and I can watch it soon. So take off your shirt, do some crunches and bask before a NEW MOON. (that sentence really is offensive.)
THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG
This bores the bejeesus out of me. And it makes me sad. Disney’s first 2D animated film was a severe disappointment. When it pulled in an Animation Oscar nom – it actually saddened me, because while the physical animation itself is beautiful - the film has character design issues (I hate their frogs) and the songs are almost uniformly BAD. This film felt like ANASTASIA and not a Disney work of magic. I also just felt putting this story within some magical New Orleans… I just never got on board. Seems to delight the kiddies though – and folks with a lower expectation from Disney animation. But this is less successful for me than films like HERCULES & HUNCHBACK & POCAHONTAS. C’mon Disney… blow us away with the next one. Remember – tell a story worth telling…
That said – this BLU RAY is gorgeous – The behind the scenes making of work on the discs are very nice. If you loved the movie, you’ll love this disc. And if you didn’t. As an animation fan, even if you didn’t care for the film, the behind the scenes on a Disney Animated film – I always find fascinating.
NINJA ASSASIN
The film has its moments – particularly the pre-credits sequence is absolutely killer. But once we get into the Europol investigation – never mind the whole… why is Rain even in Berlin in the first place. The film does nothing to develop its characters – and at no point do I feel like I have an ounce of insight into our main characters. That said – the film was made for Blu Ray in the sense of how pretty it is. It really is a bit of a junky movie… but, that kinda describes most of the Ninja genre, right? To me, Ninjas are a tool – a really badass tool, but ultimately there is somebody else that’s pulling their strings. Here, that is never gone into – and as a result they’ve cut the ‘sense of purpose’ of the Ninjas out. At least to me.
ASTRO BOY
There is stuff to like about ASTRO BOY – I just feel that the character doesn’t become the character till the last moments of the film. And I resent that. I wanted that tough scrappy Astro Boy throughout… or at least for the majority. Here he’s mostly mopey. However, if you have kids – this film will delight them. It is very visual and quite a bit of fun. It just wasn’t quite the ASTRO BOY big budget movie I’ve been waiting for. I guess that was A.I.
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: XVII
In this set you’ll get MST3K’s riffs on THE CRAWLING EYE, THE BEATNIKS, THE FINAL SACRIFICE and BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z. There’s also fun extras like Crow vs Crow at DragonCon 2009 – an interview with Bruce J Mitchell of THE FINAL SACRIFICE, along with a special introduction to THE CRAWLING EYE by Joel Hodgson. Not to mention the trailers, photos and other hijinks.
BROKEN EMBRACES
Part of what pissed me off immensely about the Academy Awards this year – is this. 1st, Penelope Cruz did deserve an Oscar nod, but not for Supporting Actress for NINE ( which should have honored Marie Cotillard instead), but instead – she should’ve been nominated for Best Actress for her work in Pedro Almodovar’s BROKEN EMBRACES. This film is remarkable. There’s a short film by Almodovar that you’ll love checking out. A Variety Q&A with Penelope. Deleted scenes and a feature that looks at Pedro directing Cruz. But the jewel here is the great story of a director that went blind after… well, you’ll find out. Penelope’s escort turned kept lady turned would-be actress… it is a beautiful character arc filled with pathos, emotion, passion and vitality. Wonderful wonderful film. Which is only natural coming from Pedro Almodovar.
ARMORED
While ARMORED may not quite be CRISS CROSS… it’s a better DIE HARD movie than any of the sequels in that franchise. If you want to see what Nimrod Antal’s chops are – and the film that got him the job on PREDATORS – it is ARMORED. I love this cast – in particular – Larry Fishburne. You’ll also be surprised by how much you’ll like Columbus Short. It’s pretty amazing to have a young actor that you’ve never really seen before shine like this. At this point, ARMORED is second only to CRISS CROSS in the ‘armored truck film noir” sub genre. Now – there’s only the two of them that I am familiar with, but I do love the inside job Armored Truck story as a device. Hope to see more like this in the future.
THE FOURTH KIND
Around the same time that I saw PARANORMAL ACTIVITY in consideration of programming it for FANTASTIC FEST last year – I saw THE FOURTH KIND. It is very rare that a mess of a movie has resulted in me having so many discussions about the film. The problem is this. THE FOURTH KIND is an Alien Abduction film. It has a cast that includes folks like Milla Jovovich and Will Patton – who are being asked to reenact scenes, which get edited together with “real documentary footage” from the actual incidents. The result is apocalyptically ill-conceived. The actors simply cannot compete with reality. Their chops just are not up to par. The “real” footage is haunting, fascinating and absolutely irresistible. But then there’s this DocuDrama crap which just sucks the soul out of the film. This is a great film to show what not to do in this sort of project. If you’re a UFO fetishist you’ll kinda need to see this.
CLASH OF THE GODS: THE COMPLETE SEASON ONE
I was really kinda jazzed when I got this – and when I put it on – I realized that this was an excellent teaching tool for my 9 year old nephew, Kublakhan. It is more than Greek Mythology – they dive into Norse and even Tolkein myths. The fx are kinda goofy but in a pretty cool way. I like this set. And my nephew is devouring it. That is as it should be.
MEAN JOHNNY BARROWS: Uncut Director’s Edition
I’m not real sure if you’re masculinity is secure enough for Fred Williamson in MEAN JOHNNY BARROWS. Watching Fred chew the screen with the likes of Roddy McDowall, Stuart Whitman and fucking Elliot Gould is just too cool! Essentially here is a story of an insubordinate grunt that beat fuck out of his deserving of an ass-whupping superior officer. Lands stateside only to be mugged (who the fuck could mug Fred Williamson? You’ll have to see) – then there’s incarceration followed by the worst fate imaginable. He becomes a gas station attendant for the most awesomely politically correct bastard (heh), then he becomes a HIT MAN! Yeah. This is that kinda story. Nut up and check it out.
That’s it for this SXSW Tuesday – but next week we’ll be looking at THE BLIND SIDE, season 3 of MAD MEN, TOY STORY 1 & 2 on Blu Ray, The T.A.M.I. SHOW, FANTASTIC MR FOX, BROTHERS, MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS, THE AFRICAN QUEEN on Blu, RED CLIFF International edition on Blu, YOJIMBO & SANJURO via Criterion Blu, DAYS OF HEAVEN Criterion Blu, BIGGER THAN LIFE Criterion Blu, THE PRISONER Miniseries, AFTER DARK HORRORFEST Vol 4, KROD MANDOON & THE FLAMING SWORD OF FIRE, CARNY, CAT GIRL, SUPER DIMENSION ODYSSEY TRITIA, THE 14 AMAZONS, HITLER MEETS CHRIST, YAKUZA JUSTICE: EROTIC CODE OF HONOR and much more. Finally a really fucking great week – coming next week!
That said – this BLU RAY is gorgeous – The behind the scenes making of work on the discs are very nice. If you loved the movie, you’ll love this disc. And if you didn’t. As an animation fan, even if you didn’t care for the film, the behind the scenes on a Disney Animated film – I always find fascinating.
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And have yet to burn any time on Twilight. I so proud.
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Fuck you.
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...excluding MST3K (blessings be upon It *genuflects*).
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Good line.
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I didn't think there was a chance in hell this would be up today.
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Jesus: Peace my child.
Hitler: JEW!!!!!! -
Did Shout! give you pwesents, Harry?
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I usually never dissagree with ya' Harry, but I loved every warm, jubilant minute of Princess and the Frog. The songs were great with no schmaltzy crap, just fun jazziness and it was actually pretty funny.
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You'd have to be on crack to believe that bit about Armored being better than any of the Die Hard sequels... even Live Free or Die Hard was a better film.
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Just kidding.
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I thought you liked Twilight... This site is becoming the Waffle House, I love it, I hate it, it's terrific, it sucks, the script was amazing, the movie sucked. Oh well whatever works. psi
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But it has the super fuckin' luscious Janet Munro and it's fun to watch. Do the MST3K people just see an old genre movie and then just decry it as being bad? Fuck them.
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from Netflix today and plan on getting drunk and watching them back to back to back just to see how much they will congeal into one whackado viewing memory.
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You must've been taking a piss during "Friends on the Other Side". I'm still angry that that was shut out at the Oscars.
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Better than Die Hard 4, well pretty much any movie has that chance. I'm hoping I'll like it enough to muster some enthusiasm for the upcoming Predators movie.
Harry, do you really believe what you typed? -
because I really like that old Dixieland/ragtime style of jazz that seems to be in the movie. Does Harry not dig on old school Jazz? For shame!
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Ummm.... what the fuck are you talking about? Harry, for GOD'S SAKE, get an editor. I'd love to submit my application.
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DVD release day and Harry has his DVD column up, for like the third week in a row? The Apocalypse inches nigh.
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of The Fourth Kind? That's always a big warning sign when Larry King is the best they can get for the front cover blurb. That redundancy is absurd and hilarious!
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It ain't flawless but it's a cool flick - and you're right, Harry, it looks sweet on blu-ray!
And Mean Johhny Barrows is classic Fred Williamson - man, how come this cat isn't a superstar? -
What a lot of happy horseshit.
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but you know, make it good. It would also have to be a period setting, not some bullshit modernization.
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"... in the ‘armored truck film noir” sub genre. "So where is "The Kidnapping of the President", with William Shatner and Hal Holbrook, on that list? Or, even though an armored car is a prominent plot point, maybe it doesn't qualify for that sub-genre? Maybe it belongs in the "President is in danger and must be rescued and either someone kicks ass to save him or he himself kicks ass to save himself and maybe his family too" sub-genre?
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It's available on Netflix but apparently not the "Un-Cut Director's Edition" as indicated here. Is it worth the purchase?
If so I might just have to hit that link and buy it. -
PALOOKAVILLE? All great armoured car movies. You wanna see what Nimrod Antal can do, watch KONTROL.
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From his original review: "So sign me up for Between His DiamondThighs.Com cuz I’m a fan of Catherine Hardwicke’s TWILIGHT." But maybe he's like the rest of us and has been bashed in the head with this series for far too long?
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Looks like the frog that was the singingg mascot for the WB TV Network. Glad to see he landed on his feet after being fired by the WB.
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I seriously haven't been to an animated film I enjoyed so much since the Lion King. Astro Boy is that awesome. It's been compared to the Iron Giant and rightly so. As for Astro being "mopey"...that's the way he was in his origin story in the original manga, because bad bad things kept happening to him. And anyway, what Harry calls "mopey" I call a "sympathetic human lovable character". Harry thinks all robots should act like Megaman I suppose. Astro, however, is too good for that.
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Mar 16, 2010 6:02:39 PM CDT
Princess and the Frog is crass calculated commercial dreck
by feralangel
Yeah, I know, DUH, it's from Hollywood, but didn't we used to expect something more from Disney?
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The opening robbery. We all know this.
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but they'd fuck it up.
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I am a video store manager. I have been trying to get people to rent Broken Embraces today. These small town folk told me I don't like to read. That is what I am dealing with. I have also been suggesting Armored which is way more accessible for them. Although Embrace is my pick of the week.
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Wow, maybe the small town folk are making me spell bad!
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do you actually not know who Michigan J Frog is?! "WB mascot" indeed. But if you do know one of WB's greatest classics "One Froggy Evening" and are being very deadpan, I salute you!
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Hooray!
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...as The Underneath, by Steven Soderbergh no less. It was no Criss Cross, but pretty good. Another good Armored Car movie is Kansas City Confidential.
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Armored is better than Die Hard 2.
NO... FREAKING... WAY -
Armoured's "award winning" script was far too focused on being "tight" to the point that it stopped being "good." It was like the movie itself couldn't wait to be over. And Ninja Assassin made the mistake of turning ninjas into CGI shadow-monsters. Everything you could clearly see done by humans was AWESOME but 90% of the fighting was either in darkness or done at CG hyper-speed.
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I have to disagree with you about the Princess and the Frog. I liked the music a great deal and enjoyed the movie. Is there a large arthropod up your posterior, perhaps? :)
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Criterion release baby! With commentary!
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He did use the word 'however' once when he could have said 'that said'. Well done Harry, well done.
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Love Disney, but this was their worst in a long time (after the unwatchable Home On The Ranch). Beautifully made though. It took too long to start (why 15 minutes of prologue?). These are the brilliant directors of Aladdin, Mermaid, Hercules, The Great Mouse Detective... What the fuck? These movies didn't waste a second getting shit started. They had too much time to make this and this was too carefully made, as if they were walking on egg shells to NOT fuck this up.
On Aladdin, they were under the gun, had very little time and were taking insane risks while taking the medium to a whole new level. Get back to THAT, Disney! -
Mar 16, 2010 8:10:06 PM CDT
I also doubt Armored is anywhere close to Die Hard 2 or 3.
by starwarrior
Die Hard 3 is one of the best action films ever (although the original is better).
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Is it just me or has Netflix not been getting movies on their street date this month? I noticed that the titles Ninja, Justice League: Crisis on 2 Earths, The Box, Where the Wild Things Are, and The Collector have all been at Blockbuster and/or Best Buy before Netflix has received them. Netflix still doesn't have most of those and says they're not getting them until next week. What gives??? Have the studios cut some kind of deal with retailers to leave Netflix in the dust?
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AHAHAHAHA! That sounds amazing, could be bullcrap tho. I really want to see Mean Johnny Barrows, dude looks like a bad motherfucker. Sometimes I hate living in Australia...
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I think so...they want to sell the DVDs so they hold them back on netflix and redbox
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AWESOME!!!!!!!! Great music, great story, great script, great villain (with scary as hell "friends from the other side"). I loved, loved, loved this movie! Yet Harry seems to have taken the proverbial shit upon it.
I'm so confused.
A great return to form for traditional animation at the Mouse House.
Seriously Harry, do you not like old school Dixieland Jazz?
Maybe it helps that I killed an entire bottle of wine while watching the movie, but damn it, the next time I go to a store that sells The Princess & the Frog I'm fucking buyin' it! -
You really need to start editing the dumb shit you write big boy because you really do sound like an asshole. The best thing about Armored coming out was that I didn’t have to sit through that insipid trailer one more time. To actually claim this film even occupies the same space as Die Hard 2 and 3 is yet another bit of idiocy your detractors will be using against you for years to come. Do you remember when you endorsed Godzilla? Do you remember when you claimed that overrated piece of Korean shit The Host was on par with the original JAWS? Think before you write. Look, we all get that this director is another one of your buddies and you are going to unleash a flood of hyperbole in regards to Predators but don’t start greasing the wheels this early because Armored looks like the most generic fucking movie in recent memory.
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Mar 16, 2010 9:24:03 PM CDT
Woah LastCleric, "overrated piece of Korean shit The Host"
by soylentmean
Really? What fuckin' movie did you watch? I'm also a big supporter of the '98 Godzilla (although Harry does seem to have retracted his original viewpoints on it). The Host was fuckin' brilliant. The '98 Godzilla suffered from lame acting but was way the fuck ambitious in terms of FX and setpieces. I really don't get these fucks that come on here that don't like to have fun at the movies.
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to see if I missed something. Anybody have any viewpoints on those films?
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Mar 16, 2010 9:53:48 PM CDT
"Die Hard 3 is one of the best action movies ever"
by nasty in the pasty
For me to poop on. That's the *real* red-headed stepchild of the Die Hard franchise. Contrived plotting, awful special effects (that exploding boat at the end was right out of Diamonds Are Forever...and that ain't a compliment), and surprisingly sloppy direction from John McTiernan (I like the moment where McClane and Zeus are trying to get off the boat before it blows up, and the camera violently whip-pans to the left to reveal...absolutely nothing. Did the steadicam operator fuck up, and McTiernan just didn't notice or care?). For all the whining about the PG-13 rating, Live Free...felt more like a classic DH film than the Lethal Weapon knockoff that was WAV.
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I liked Die Hard 3 for all it's goofy craziness. It's a well done action movie. Whereas the fourth Die Hard is not...
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Brother Bear had some cool imagery and one really riveting scene, but is was not exactly Lion King or Bambi level when it comes to talking animal pics. The characters aren't very memorable, the jokes in the film are few and far between and the two Canuck moose (mooses? Meeces? Moosi?) are no help in that regard. As for Home on the Range...there's a beautiful country song in it, but everything else is dreck. It makes a try at Emperor's New Groove type of humor but totally fails. Spare your wallet and your eyeballs and skip it, is my advice.
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I don't even have to add anything.
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Mar 16, 2010 11:13:31 PM CDT
Die Hard 4 is an exceptionally well-directed action flick
by nasty in the pasty
Whereas WAV was full of the kind of shakey-cam bullshit you wouldn't expect from McTiernan, Live Free was full of long, elegant camera shots that contained actual CHOREOGRAPHY, like that wonderful shot featuring that parkour dude running along the ledge of a building, leaping across the gap to a neighboring building's fire escape, sliding down and out of the shot, all done without a single cut. WAV was full of confusing camera blocking and the movie just LOOKED bad, and ironically more dated than either of its two predecessors despite coming out half-a-decade after Die Hsrder. Honestly, they spent $100 million on it, and yet compare the PISS-POOR boat and helicopter explosions to the still-brilliant minature work by Richard Edlund in the first, or ILM on the second. WAV was cobbled together from stray bits and pieces of other unproduced action movie screenplays, and the seams show. Willis was still fine, Jeremy Irons was a nicely smarmy villain, but overall, WAV falls completely to pieces once the Federal Reserve gold robbery is over.
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Netflix struck up a deal that starting in late February NEW Warner Brothers movies wouldn't be available to rent until 6 weeks after street date. They made this deal to make more money AND they also gave Netflix a bigger selection of their back catalog to stream with instant play. I think it's a good idea, but I have been waiting a LONG time to see the Justice League movie now, since it won't be available til 3/23.......so actually I'm not a fan of the change, bastards!
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...Willis gets popped up like a cork through a manhole cover, and Samuel L. Jackson JUST HAPPENS to be driving by. That's a real "fuck you" insult to the audience's intelligence.
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Mar 16, 2010 11:28:03 PM CDT
Nasty, dear god don't ever watch The Chipmunks Squeakuel...
by soylentmean
If you got problems with that scence in Die Hard 3, well there's a scene with a manhole happenstance in the chipmunks deuce that will make you want to punch god.
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Wolf Man was shit...so was New Moon.
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Is still alive?
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FACT!Die Hard > Die Hard With a Vengeance > Die Hard 2: Die Harder > Live Free or Die HardIMHO
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Wasted opportunity. I wanted it to become something MORE!
Felt like a weaker version of that movie Trespass??
Better than Die Harder? Honk mate. -
But of course Harry needs to get the hype machine rolling for his buddy Robert Rodriguez and the upcoming Predators, so now suddenly Armored is hyperbolically claimed to be a modern overlooked action classic, rather than the derivative, dull, and paint by numbers bit of middling go nowhere mediocrity that it actually was.
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Ummm... not so much. EVERYTHING was staged.
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I hate Die Hard 2. The only thing good about it, is that it inspired one of the funniest bits on the Ben Stiller Show. Horrible movie. You people should also stop hating on things because you think its cool to. Like the Hate for Die Hard 4. Its a fun movie. Way better then it had any right to. Its my second favorite behind the first.
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are the only releases worth a damn. Can hardly wait for season 3 to begin.
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a rawness to it. It's glossy, but still has an edge about it.
Lots of swearing and shooting, and John McClane exactly as we remembered him from the first.
WAV and LFDH are when Bruce forgot how to play John McClane. -
What the fuck?
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Fucks sake Harry. Away and watch New Moon.
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Live Free or Die Hard was a complete piece of shit. Len Wiseman is uberhack.
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Die Hard > Die Hard With a Vengeance > Die Hard 2: Die Harder > Live Free or Die Hard
This is correct. -
Everyone who reviewed New Moon here at AICN absolutely despised the film. Harry et al, I know you would love to attract a larger female readership, but it ain't happening so stop writing about shite no one cares about. All you're succeeding at doing is pissing your loyal readership off.
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I'm just sayin
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has William Atherton getting tazed by Bonnie Bedelia, doesn't get any better than that
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Mar 17, 2010 9:45:51 AM CDT
Spacezilla.... What????? Do you think as you type?
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
So let me get this straight. You begin your post with the statement "I Hate Die Hard 2". Then, not three sentences later you state. "You people should also stop hating on things because you think its cool to." So what you're saying is. "You fuckin idiots can't possibly hate Die Hard 4. My hate for Die Hard 2 is just. You guys are just tring to be cool." Does that about sum it up? Well mate, I could give a rats ass what you or anyone else here thinks, and guess what???? I FUCKING LOATHE DIE HARD 4. It fucking neutered McClane, had no blood, completely illogical action(McClane driving a car through a building and hitting his mark through about three walls) and was an actual waste of my time. Now before you start bitching " Well you have to watch the directors cut". FUCK YOU. Len Wiseman aint no Ridley Scott. Why should I have to wait for fuckin DVD to get McClane enhanced with CG blood and badly dubbed profanity. Die Hard 2 has it's issues(and dumb-ass coincidences) yet it doesn't cheat you with McClane. Plus DH2 has Micheal Kamen which automatically puts it above part 4 by default. Was that cool enough?
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Was my favorite of the films. I love the first Die Hard, but 2 is more badass. I watch both films as part of my Christmas viewing (along with Ice Storm, Lethal Weapon, Bad Santa, and, yes, Reindeer Games, which is really a pretty good movie). And Harry, "you're masculinity" is "your masculinity", unless you meant "you are masculinity" which wouldn't make much sense.
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They just stopped after a while, and it seemed like they had planned episodes on Odin and Loki, at the least. But they never went into them.
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For some reason, the words "Season One" didn't register in my brain. Stupid neurons.
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Die Hard 4. Really?! With a Vengeance ain't perfect but it's hell of a lot more entertaining than part 4, and it actually manages to have the Die Hard feel to it. I love the alternate ending that was unfortunately canned because it really shows the influence of Pulp Fiction on that movie. Die Hard 2 I haven't seen in awhile so I can't really comment, but I appreciate part 3 for trying to do something different while still feeling like Die Hard, instead of just staging another terrorist takeover in another building. Then again, I probably also enjoy Hudson Hawk and The Last Boyscout more than any of the Die Hard sequels. But I love those fucking movies.
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Mar 17, 2010 11:22:51 AM CDT
BillEmic... Kudos on the Hawk callout. Bunny, ball ball ...
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
Heck, I'd prefer to watch Color of Night than Die Hard 4. At least that was bizarrely entertaining. Lesley Ann Warren Vs Brad Dourif alone beats Die Hard 4. Now... on to Hudson Hawk quotes....
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Mar 17, 2010 11:23:36 AM CDT
Hey Mister Hawk, you forgot your stamps....
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
Good Yogie.
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No shit!
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Hey Mister... Are you gonna die?
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Mar 17, 2010 11:26:41 AM CDT
I think Bunnie's got today's ball ball...
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
just two more minutes, I was so close.
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Mar 17, 2010 11:27:23 AM CDT
Who are you guys supposed to be? Igg and Ook?
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
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Mar 17, 2010 11:29:10 AM CDT
I must talk with the Dolphins now I I I I I... I I I I I.
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
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Mar 17, 2010 12:08:18 PM CDT
I can't believe you're going to run out and purchase a Twilight
by bodacious_crumb
Jesus.
Turn in your balls at the counter. -
Good luck finding it in the stores today. I'm ashamed to know that it doesn't hit the shelves until Saturday.
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3rd largest crime family, I'd say "kiss my ass." But considering your status, I'll say, "Suck my butt."
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"Slurp my butt."
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That take it in the ear for a beer RAT BASTARD!
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The mighty Keith David singing. That is a gift from god and you shall bow down!
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Die Hard>Die Hard 2>Die Hard with a vengeance (barely)>Harold + Kumar go to white castle>Die Hard 4.0>Harold + Kumar escape from guantonomo bay>Gigli>Armored. Jesus tapdancing Christ, Harry
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C'mon, Pierre! Read my lips.. Steak burger! French Fries? This is France, you gotta have French Fries.
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I'll kill your friends, your family, and the bitch you took to the prom! Betty Jo Byarski? I can get you an address on that, if you want.
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Mar 17, 2010 1:15:28 PM CDT
History, tradition, culture... are not concepts!
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
These are trophies I keep in my den as paperweights!
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Mar 17, 2010 1:16:11 PM CDT
Looks like you won't be attending that hat convention in July
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
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he'd be eating microwave sushi, naked, in the back of a Cadillac with the both of us.
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Mar 17, 2010 1:19:46 PM CDT
Outbid by mine own wench! Quelle bummere!
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
Don't hate me baby!
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Harry's never seen Stomp the Yard? Jesus.
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This was kinda fun and entertaining, but do not take any of the "facts" presented about any of the gods as absolute. If you look through just about any book on mythology, you will discrepancies between what's been written for several centuries and what's presented on this show.For example, Loki was introduced as "Thor's servant." This is SO inaccurate as to be infuriating. Loki is Odin's blood brother and traveling companion, and was welcomed as one of the aesir, although he betrayed them all in the end. He was most definitely not one of Thor's servants. Perhaps the writer confused Loki with Thialfi, somehow.
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My wife and her twilight buddies all agreed New Moon was a big improvement over the first film. How did Harry not see this one in theaters? Also Harry your dead wrong about Princess and the Frog. Way better than Pixar's Up.
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First and foremost, Armored was nothing but a forgettable, and pretty boring, piece of shit. Secondly, I'm a Disney employee (Disney Consumer Products), but I am no apologist (The new Alice was shit). To be honest, I wasn't expecting much out of Princess and the Frog, but the animation was great, the characters were enjoyable, and the music was wonderful. Easily the best 2D Disney film since The Lion King, with the exception of maybe Hercules which has it's faults but I really love.
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Mar 17, 2010 3:36:42 PM CDT
So much for his cut. Forgive my dry British humour.
by human_bean_juice_
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Mar 17, 2010 3:41:37 PM CDT
How can it be my turn? I just killed Darwin and Minerva!
by human_bean_juice_
Definately your turn.
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With probably less than 10 edits it could easily be played on broadcast networks. I didn't think it was altogether terrible, it just felt like I'd seen it before. I'm a little less wary of how Predators is going to turn out but I'm still not entirely convinced that Antal was the guy to pick. I'd have been excited if it had gone to Neil Marshall. Now I'd say I'm merely not opposed to Antal directing. We'll see in a couple months.
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Singing in the Princess and the Frog, probably the greatest achievement in cinema of last year. If you can't enjoy that, then you are just a worthless human being.
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...you didn't care for the New Orleans backdrop or the jazz music? Dude, come on, this is the best Disney animated film since Hunchback. A true return to classic Disney form. Much more entertaining than Pocahantos. And, yeah, Keith David singing "Friends on the Other Side" was awesome--an instant classic. Harry, sometimes you dislike movies for all the wrong reasons, because Astro Boy was all good, too.
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...that bearovingian and kwiz have posted the most factually correct statements in this TB. Die Hard > Die Hard: WAV > Die Hard 2: Die Harder > Live Free or Die Hard.
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The best everyman hero teamed up with the best sidekick, going up against a great villian in a great background. Backed up with a great score and real-life action sequences and stunts. I could put this film on repeat for weeks.
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No 'old CIA, new CIA' jokes.
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It's not like I said 'Teach our nation's children how to read'.
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watchable, but 84 minutes is too short
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THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG was Disney’s first 2D animated film.
armored > die hard 2 & 3
the 4th kind had real documentary footage from the actual incidents.
dayumn harry, you're in the zone this week! -
Because it's on Netflix Instant (which really makes me crave coffee for some reason).
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"[NEW MOON] is better or worse than TWILIGHT." That's. . . informative.
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But still, the point stands.
And I contend the Die Hard 3 haters are the ones who got confused during the jugs scene. -
You'd have to be an absolute fucking idiot to think that footage is real. Absolutely dreadful acting with all the worst pauses an actor/actress can make. The interviewer and the main character...oh,jesus I can't believe I'm even discussing this. Who the hell thought it was real? Dreadful,dreadful stuff. An absolute abortion of a film. An all round mess. And I flat out fucking complain when I don't get to see mila's tits in a movie! What'ddya think we're paying for?
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DH3 sucked. Get over it.
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Mar 18, 2010 7:08:35 AM CDT
Nice they got Michael Jackson's face on Broken Embraces
by the_maltese_vulcan
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That Survival Of The Dead came out here in the UK on Blu this week and I'm just about to watch it :-) I think it's region locked too!
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That has to be one of the coolest titles since SAMURAI ZOMBIE ARMAGEDDON.
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A bucket of shit is better then DIE HARD 2.
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...i have just discovered that it's a bare bones vanilla disc which is not great.
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DVD release of the month BY FAR
ALL HAIL NIC RAY, KING OF CINEMA -
Involving police/military in a fucking ninja flick. It's hard enough to make ninjas work in any sort of modern setting, but when you set them up as almost supernatural creatures and then have Interpol/CIA/military seriously tracking them...that's just fucking retarded.
And the only reason I give Ninja Assassin a pass on all the CGI fighting, instead of doing it old school with genuinely talented martial artists who can do all that wicked-crazy acrobatic fighting - with REAL weapons - is because the script tried to push (but truly failed to follow through on) the idea that ninjas are these almost supernatural creatures, like some freaky-assed shadow demons. That was actually pretty cool, and there were moments - like the ninja seemingly sinking into the shadows to reappear across the room, and the insane barrage of shurikens - where the movie gave me hope that, in truly gifted hands, we could see a seriously badass, big budget, live action Ninja Scroll movie. That alone is reason to love the movie. -
Had Bruce killing a guy by ramming an icicle through his eye. Nuff said. Great film
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I learned a lot from that show. So far I've seen Hercules, Medusa, Lord of the Rings, Thor, Hades...
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...ly fucking great!
Really, to anyone who considers it inferior to, say, the TRANSFORMERS movies, you'd be doing the world a real solid by killing yourself. -
That Predators trailer is supposed to come out today..... I am waiting.
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...I loved The last Boy Scout, if for no ther reason than the line "because his dick was stuck in a chicken." Wish they'd forget Die Hard and make a sequel to that.
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"Depending on who you talk to to, it is good or it is bad"
Riveting. -
is a fat man who loves his free goodies and, accordingly, does not want to piss anyone from the studios off. I enjoy his prose, but I am sick of his canned opinions.
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In Ninja Assassin? Did you even see the movie? Their whole purpose was to ALWAYS be a group of assassins! That's what ninjas are! Who's pulling the strings? The guy in charge of the Ninja Clan! They take orphans and raise them to be killers and they get paid extremely well by foreign governments and whatnot. Sheezus, what kind of "sense of purpose" did you want? They kill, that's what they do. That's a bizarre and not very well thought out criticism.
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I really enjoyed it as did my three year old. Not sure what the gripe is.
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"Emotions are for ethnic people"
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I thought they couldn't get the rights to that one, I am so excited!
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Die Hard 2 and 3, but from what I remember I thought 2 was not very good and 3 was an improvement, but still not as good as the first, never seen 4
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not blu ray, what am I thinking?
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best action film? Quit huffing spray paint fellas!
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in the dark of the night, terror will find her! in the dark of the night, evil will brew! soon she will feel, that her nightmares are real! in the dark of the night, she'll be through!
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in the dark of the night, terror comes true! my dear, here's a sign,
its the end of the line! -
Seriously. I'm not as eloquent with my words as Vern, so I'll just lazily copy-and-paste his description of him..
"Unfortunately the execution is pretty mediocre, starting with the bland casting and writing of the hero. He seems like a good enough guy, but not particularly charismatic, not possessing a more than average amount of screen presence. He’s not real cool or charming or tough, he doesn’t have any funny or memorable lines, I can’t even remember a single character quirk or unusual detail of any kind. He’s just some dude."
So yea, I guess that's more in the writing...but no, he could have added a little, brought a little more to the table. Plus toward the end I felt like he was almost doing a Denzel impression. He was making the exact same 'Stressed Denzel Face' that Denzel does so well.
There are very few redeemable aspects of Armored, and Columbus Short ain't one of 'em. -
Mar 19, 2010 5:36:56 PM CDT
Die Hard 2 looked like they smeared shit on the negatives
by takingscorpioscalls
everything looks BROWN!
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Mar 19, 2010 5:41:40 PM CDT
Die Hard 3 proves only McTiernan should direct DH movies
by takingscorpioscalls
Sorry i dont give an anteater's diahrea drop that DH2 had McClane kill a guy with an icepick through his eyeball or any of that, it was a stupid plot, and also I will gladly take Samuel Jackson flying out of the manhole while McClane conveniently drives by over McClane's wife and the reporter from DH1 sharing the same plane out of nowwhere while it circles around like a dumb as a box airport guys think it's the only one that exists in the world.
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DH3 is shit. Utter shit. For me, it borders on being unwatchable, NEARLY as bad as the worst films of all time: The Cat in the Hat movie, The Princess Diaries 2, Clockstoppers, and Yellow Submarine.
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We fucking get it, stop pointing it out all the time.
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Thats one of the funniest things Dave Chapelle ever said. He was just riffing on his show and was like " Ya'll all know that frog is racist, Weeellcooome to the WB!!! I like chicken!!" . I didn't get it at first until I realized most people considered the frog to be an Al Jolson spoof and he was known for the black face thing.True or not it made me laugh.
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... that I wanted to kill!!!! What a pussy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!
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Mar 20, 2010 11:44:45 PM CDT
Loved Armoured. Hated Fourth Kind. Turned off Princess.
by hint_of_smegma
Don't get the hate for Armoured here, thought it was great. Fourth Kind was however one of the worst films I've seen in a long time, what an irredeemable mess. Princess and the Frog was so bad I turned it off after 20 minutes - I can't stand Disney's animated movies normally, but still always give them a go as the only one I do like - Beauty and the Beast - is incredible, so I have a hope that one day they'll make something as good again. Not this time though - fucking terrible.
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"How am I drivin. 1-800-I'm Gonna Fuckin Die." "My name is Kit Kat, this is not a dream" "Do you know what it's like being called Chlamydia for a year?" "My name's Butterfinger-No shit" "They think The Bay of Pigs is an herbal tea and that The Cold War has something to do with Penguins"
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1 is great 2 is cool 3 is is really cool...live free?...crapola
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DIE HARD 2 and 4 are both complete shit. DIE HARD 2 gets credit for having what might be the funniest censored TV version ever created... but that's about all it's good for. Both are Oscar caliber masterpieces next to the diarrhea blast to the face that was NINJA ASSASSIN.
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WTF??!?
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the much better than low expectations thing, but it reminded me a little of Walter Hill, sp. 1992's Trespass (great flick with Bill Paxton and William Sadler). Clean, efficient direction, good performances (okay, Fishburne was a little over the top), and the casting of Fred Ward (Southern Comfort) is always a bonus. It gives me a better feeling about Predators.
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Sometimes Harry you say stuff that makes me hate you.
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The way it's used in the article is short for "you are" which makes no sense. It's a minor typo, but I'm seeing things like this EVERYWHERE now that nobody cares to pay editors and schools across the nation are firing almost all of their English teachers. What's sad is it's going to get so much worse... are there any countries I can move to where people actually care about things like education and spelling thins correctly?
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Just watched it again the other day and while the gargoyle stuff is corny. The rest is just magnificent.
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I'm a sucker for old school Disney animation. It wasn't as good as say Aladdin or Beauty and the Beast, but it was better than the more mediocre hand drawn Disney stuff (Tarzan, Hunchback). Also the story was a bit different, so that was nice. Plus they fucking kill off the comic relief, traumatizing kids everywhere. Gotta love that.
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Where is this week's DVD review column?
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Tis now the weekend....You have less than 48 hours to post this weeks column before I...well....before I delete this site from my favorites. Dang...thats all I got. How about a please?
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I don't know anyone couldn't have liked the film honestly. Sure its not Lady And The Tramp but it was very entertaining for their first 2D film in a long time.
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It would be one thing if the column had continued with some regularity for more than four weeks after posting…
“I found myself giddy to be writing the column again.”
And
“I’ll be back weekly with the first column of March.”
and then the lull...but this is just sad.
It is now the fifth week of March and still no pick’s for week four. Come on dude...is it really that hard to talk about what movies you liked or sucked that week on DVD and Blue Ray? I do that shit for free on nearly a daily basis. Believe it or not, I give a shit about your opinion on this stuff, even when your just blathering on about Blue Ray this and that. Am I wasting my time here, or are you going to get with the program? -
some of the greatest Disney animation/music they've ever done. Just epic...
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