Cool News
Here's A Trailer For THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE!!
Merrick here...
I actually haven't seen NEW MOON yet...guess I'll catch it when it hits Blu-Ray & DVD in a week or two. But, based on my reaction to the first film in the series, I'd say I infinitely prefer HBO's TRUE BLOOD (HERE
) - which is an adaptation of Charlaine Harris' 'Sookie Stackhouse books' (HERE). They all skirt some of the same subject matter as THE TWILIGHT SAGA, but in smarter and less turgid ways.
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It sucks so bad, it was worth the time it took, to click over to this thread and shit on it.
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What a fucking stain on modern vampire mythology. Hell, on entertainment itself.
No 30 DAYS OF NIGHT-style vampires = my ass NOT in a seat. Because I have functional, rational critical abilities, and can see what a shitstain this movie is from this trailer. Do yourselves - and your sanity - a favour: DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. -
...this site falls behind on news people actually care about yet we get garbage like this as soon as it's available?
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count on it.Woman and tweens are ruling the box office lately.
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Are they casting these movies by getting the WORST actors for the parts, not the best? Pattinson and Stewart sound like the pothead wastoids they actually are, and Taylor Lautner wouldn't get into a 6-year old's nativity story with acting like THAT.
David Slade, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself. How large a truck full of cash did they wheel up to your door, for you to piss on the early cred from HARD CANDY and 30 DAYS OF NIGHT you earned by directing this ubershite? Fucking sell-out. -
Because I have never seen crap crapped out so fast...
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You betray your sex if you encourage shite like this. As far as prose writing, film-making, acting and screenwriting go, this franchise seems to be actively trying to be the consistently worst thing it can be - and yet you consistently lap it up. Centuries of enlightenment, equality and de-emasculation is being undone by this simpering bollocks, and if you put money into it in any way, you are adding to the dumbing down not just of women, but popular culture in general.
Stephanie Meyer is to literature what the Ebola virus is to healthy living. It is the opposite of human potential. Truly, you couldn't intentinally write worse trash than this if you actually wanted to... -
You remember the massive alien organism butt Orlando Jones disappeared up in EVOLUTION?
The bunghole that shat this shite makes THAT bunghole look like a gnat's arse in comparison. It's incomprehensibly big. It's so big, it occupies its own dimension, and soon shall be discovered on FRINGE. -
...if all the sillyness of that book is in the film. I bet the actors will not be able to keep a straight face. All other Twilight stuff can suck it. Won't watch, won't read, no way, no how.
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But what will win for 2008?http://tinyurl.com/ybwf2g6
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Until she's dead?
It barely makes sense... -
is quite well justified. My wife made me watch the first one a few weeks back. Well, maybe "made me" is a bit of a stretch. There was some spousal pressure, but I confess I was curious from a trainwreck standpoint. It couldn't be that bad, could it? Surely it's just gotten a bit of a bad rap from cynics? And to my mild surprise, it's every ounce as terrible as it's been made out to be. Absolute shit of the highest order. Crap on film. So very stupid. A poorly conceived, illogical contrivance-fest, badly acted (Kristen Stewart is horrible and Razzie-worthy--flat, emotionless, monotone--she barely qualifies as phoning it in) just stupid, stupid, stupid. If there is any redeeming quality, I failed to see it. Maybe some of the Pacific Northwest scenery was kind of pretty, I don't know...forget teenyboppers, this is preschool level. Stephanie Meyer and everyone associated with this production should be ashamed of themselves for every dollar they've made on nonsense like this.
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You think anyway here gives two shits about Twilight? And if we did, we come to aintitcool to get the info about the trailer? Just leave it out will yeah!
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are now moist.
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Yes, Twilight pwns the 12-year-old drama, Harry Potter... at least this is watchable for adults.
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No, that line is fine. It's the reading that jacked it up. "Until your heart stops beating." He's basically saying he'll protect her unless she becomes a vampire, but Taylor screwed it up because he didn't understand the line. The line is the only even slightly decent thing in that trailer. Except for vampire Tori Amos and her mad hops. I never get tired of seeing people make ridiculous jumps, as long as the effect is done well. Also, spud mcspud wins this talkback.
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Mar 11, 2010 9:10:09 AM CST
New low budget online Vamp series suggests genre still has life.
by zombie_frank_booth
MARIANA - a serial killer-hunting vamp with a heart of gold and a mouth that can consume large men with a single chew. Plus its set in Ireland? Mmmm. Watch here kids:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5a1hHZfPIA -
Has the violence but without all the chaste glitter of Twilight or the cocksucking of True Blood
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... makes this movie actually pretty decently well, which everyone in the world likes EXCEPT the Twilight fans. If he manages to do that, he'd be my new hero.
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You put up news about twlight But not actually cool news or talkbacks, about Supernatural or even BBT.....this is total suck. No pun intended
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Woops. That was gauche. Pardon me.
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The Abraham Lincoln vampire book is awesome
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Mar 11, 2010 9:17:43 AM CST
New low budget online Vamp series suggests genre still has life.
by zombie_frank_booth
MARIANA - a serial killer-hunting vamp with a heart of gold and a mouth that can consume large men with a single chew. Plus its set in Ireland? Mmmm. Watch here kids:
http://tinyurl.com/ylsolrp -
Yeah, the last half of Season 2 was a bit annoying because the Maryann storyline dragged on way too long, but Season 3 is looking much more promising.
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1. David Slade
2. The studio had to bring in the first editor from the other two films last week because David made this into a horror movie instead of a love story (which royally pissed them off) -
More whiny emo bullshit.
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This is sooooo bad. I'm still trying to reign my faculties to explain why it's soooo bad.... David Slade....What happened buddy???!!!
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You hit it on the head...the pothead!
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Everyone looks like either they found out their dog just died or they have a bad case of acid reflux.
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"Except for vampire Tori Amos and her mad hops." LMAO!
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Finally, Hollywood managed to make a movie which tapped into the tweens much like boy bands have been doing for years. New Kids on the Block, Back street boys, Jonas Brothers.. what ever the latest audio poison is. I think Hollywood had only ever pulled single versions of this before, like Jack from Titanic. But this... surely it's a sign that we're living in the end times.
And no, I haven't seen any of them. But it really says something when the cultural pollution from such a turd makes viewing the actual sewage outlet redundant. -
AND ITS IN 333333-----DDDDDD!!!!!
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...Didnt even watch the trailer but i only seen maybe fifteen minutes of the first one and it was bad... an albino incestuous family? awkward starin between a pentagon face shaped girl and a guy who looks like he is stinks? it was bad... but i liked the wolf transformation scenes (that i seen from the commercials)... i wont hate on this movie cuz im not a hater (cept war of the worlds and gi bore) and my best friend actually like the twilight movies, so to each their own
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Man Twilight is bad, but its not Evolution bad. God that movie was shit. At least no one with any credability was working on Twilight.
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How come they don't make sequels I want to see this quickly?
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Eclipse might be decent. It has much more action than the previous books (not that you would know it from the trailer) and Slade seems to have made more of a horror film, which is why the panic firing of the editor.
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seeing this as the top headline on this site, I was afraid that this was a "Twilight Tweener set" kind of site. After reading the TB, though, my fears have been dissuaded.
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...Twilight might suck, but at least its more original than Avatar... especially if a werewolf decides to mate wit a day old baby (yea, i got curious and read its wiki)...
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when they let that hot redhead go, now I have no reason to be cajoled into watching this shit.
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Mar 11, 2010 9:48:20 AM CST
@spud mcspud: "You couldn't intentinally write worse trash than
by v'shael
"you couldn't intentionally write worse trash than this if you actually wanted to..."
I'd just like to mention that Peter David (noted Trek book and comic author) held a round-robin story contest on his website, which was pretty much all about mocking the Twilight stories. It was called "Potato Moon" and various members of his website contributed. It wound up being quite funny, if not overly satirical, and proved that even when *trying*, a story told by committee wasn't as bad as Twilight. -
...I just wonder why you didn't put this trailer in the corner and give the Michael Caine flick the talkback. Definitely want to see that.
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Im going to fight for you..pause..until your heart stops beating.
Deep stuff. Really deep stuff.
Gotta love a self loathing girl who is 'tortured'.
These movies ... its not worth my breath..ya'll get it. -
It's because they know it's going to be a hit even with cheap looking special effects.
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And everyone knows how much I like the idea of that film.
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The previous Twilight trailers were just corny.
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I read an article about a year ago that said the reason the studio has got different directors on each film was so that they COULD crank them out quickly, as they were afraid that the Twilight craze would die before they finished their film adaptations. Their goal is to beat the relevance clock.
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Knobules, that was perfect. (I don't hate the movies, strangely enough though. I just enjoy the hate they seem to generate)
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...If vampires existed would they go to heaven? since god knew they would turn...
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...Not a great show (due to the women, their voices are ANNOYIN)... but Sam, eric and lafayet is cool... plus, i wanna have sex on vampire blood...
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ACTING!
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fuck you....just fuck you. Wow.
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Pattison's acting was very uneven, and sometimes just bad. Stewart overacted the most pivotal scene (hospital bed), but overall their chemistry (read: affinity for pot) improved both of their performances. New Moon tried really hard to out-Hardwicke Hardwicke, but failed because the two aformentioned stoner leads are apart for 96.4% of the film. I actually had sincere hopes for this one. David Slade was a PERFECT pick to re-energize, testosteronize, and revitalize the love story aspect of the vampire genre. Did he like die on the inside or something? Did the guy from Project Greenlight direct this under the David Slade penname? Did someone at Summit turn David Slade into the Manchurian Candidate? I was hoping for Bram Stokers Dracula. And I got High School Vampire Musical 4.
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...Theyre dead, meanin their heart doesnt work meanin the blood dont circulate throughout the body meanin the penis doesnt get hard... so does Angel, Spike, Bill Compton, and i guess later Edward, get boners... and its not like the vamp lovers are THAT hot (ie Buffy, Sooki, Bella)
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...Was it the avatar or gi bore joke?
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that remember me movie opens tomorrow, and one of the big draw for it was supposedly the teen girls were also going to get the first look at the new twilight trailer.WELL SHIT, NOW THAT IVE ALREADY SEEN THE TRAILER, I DONT NEED TO GO SEE 'REMEMBER ME'little joke there. also.. have any of you heard about the twist ending in 'remember me'? some reviewers were talking about. (kind of a big spoiler, but i was never gonna see it anyway.) its kind of crazy.
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...Was it the avatar or gi bore joke?
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Mar 11, 2010 10:16:44 AM CST
But what does Merrick's son's middle school think of this?
by indycollector
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What hardcore porn is for guys, this is for chicks...so maybe I should approve of this? So confused...
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so i guess the whole movie is a typical romance movie. with ups and downs from the main couple. they have a fight and robert pattinson's goes to visit his dad where he works in the office of a tall building..then you realize the movie is set in 2001. and RP is in the world trade center.and team edward dies in 9/11. yep.
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After all the stroking Slade has gotten about 30 Days of Night I was actually excited to see that movie, so I bought it on Blu-ray without actually seeing it first. I don't do that too often, and this is why. I HATED 30 Days of Night. It was one of the most disjointed, poorly acted, poorly edited, suckily DIRECTED movies I've ever seen. Look, I'm a fan of horror movies - have been all my life ever since my brother and I rented Friday the 13th on the sly when I was too young to watch it. 30 Days of Night is dreck. not only will Eclipse suck because it's... well, it's Eclipse, but having a hack director isn't going to help anything.
Some of you may be calling bullshit on my hate on this film, but after I point out these HUGE freaking FLAWS in that movie, maybe next time you watch it you'll be like, "Oh, crap! Acappellaman was right. This movie is AWFUL!"
First and foremost, the movie's concept is brilliant, which is why I was so willing to believe the undeserved love this thing was getting and why I bought the damn movie without watching it first. I like Josh Hartnett. I love horror movies. Especially vampire movies. Well, most of them... so why would I NOT be excited about seeing 30 Days of Night? I even invited a couple people over to watch it with me that were also pretty excited about seeing it. Big mistake. All three of us were LAUGHING at this movie it was so bad. When it ended I apologized to them for making them watch it. They almost didn't accept my apology.
OK, so what was so bad? In a nutshell, the acting (mostly by the vampires themselves - Josh was actually OK), editing, directing, the plot (the SETUP was OK, but the way it played out was awful), and the fact that it often looked too much like it was filmed on a set. You're not actually supposed to notice that.
The two biggest flaws for me were the way the vampires behaved and the editing. Late in the movie, one of the vampires was chasing Josh and suddenly, with no explanation, he just stopped chasing him. Why? I have no freaking clue!! All three of us were asking the same question. Also, why did the vampires take so freaking long to attack and why did they act like they were afraid of exposing themselves to the people in town? They's freaking predators, and the people have nowhere to go. It's a buffet, yet they're acting like wusses. Obviously they finally kicked it into gear later, but the slow start baffled me. Was it done on purpose because they had to make the movie last for a month (another failure I'll get to later)? A stylistic approach to attempt to build up tension? I don't know, but it just didn't work.
The editing - oh, the editing. If they took out the visual clues that a day or two had passed "Day 13", "Day 17", you would have had no idea that any significant amount of time had passed. Without those day counters the movie felt like it all happened in one night. Suddenly it would be a new day, but the people would be in the exact same place they just were, talking about the same thing they were talking about before "the next day". It felt like a random choice to make it the start of a new day. Obviously there would be no standard clue like a sunrise or anything, but there was no believable reason to think that a full day or two had just passed from one scene to another.
So, does the fact that David Slade is directing Eclipse make me feel there's any hope for that movie at all, despite all its other baggage? Not a chance. Go watch 30 Days of Night again and let me know how awesome that movie was after a second viewing. I'll be watching something else. -
This was already reviewed, spoiler and all on this sight. Sorry to ruin your "scoop"
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Mar 11, 2010 10:28:26 AM CST
it's like a bowl full of baby diarrhea dumped in your eyes
by turketron_2
that is the closest thing to what this is
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We know. There's a whole talkback dedicated to the film previously entitled "Remember Me" The new title is "OMG 9/11!" (the exclamation point is optional).
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Mar 11, 2010 10:30:03 AM CST
"Without those day counters the movie felt like it all happened
by jarjarmessiah
Idiot.
Do you know where Alaska is? -
...The typical hero turns into good monster plot... but yea Hardnet was cool in it like he is in every other movie (zeke in faculty, slevin, wicker park, sin city, forty days and night, black hawk down)...
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I liked how the vampires wuoild use bait, but I also liked how the humans didn't fall for it. Very cat and Mouse. But the whole vampitre blood steriods bit kind of ruined it for me.
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Adolesence. Revenge. Vampires. No bullshit. 9.99 on Amazon. You need to watch this movie.
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obviously a prosthesis
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guess i havent been reading this site as closely lately.got a bad case of the 9/11s.
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apparently
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it was called TWILIGHT : NEW MOON, anyone see it?
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Because EVERY TIME they do, you guys reliably lose your minds and fill the talkback with apoplectic sputtering about how these movies suck. OF COURSE THEY SUCK! And of course Harry is going to use them to generate traffic for this site, he knows his audience.
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you mentioned, calmly, that you prefer TRUE BLOOD over TWILIGHT like that was even a legitimate debate.
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Well then, count me in!
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Because like teenage Homer said to teenage Marge on top of the hill when he spotted the weather station "It's fun to bash things!"
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Good breakdown of that movie's flaws. The premise had the goods, but the movie failed to deliver. A disappointment.
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Yes, idiot, I do know where Alaska is. If you read the rest of my post I address this, specifically this sentence: "Obviously there would be no standard clue like a sunrise or anything, but there was no believable reason to think that a full day or two had just passed from one scene to another."
Yeah, dork, I realize the movie is happening in Alaska and there is no sunrise or sunset, but you can still show that time has elapsed by using better editing, more effective fade-out/fade-in shots, etc. There are ways to do it that work, but 30 Days of Night didn't do it well at all. -
Bella and Edward profess their love, but still Ed won't turn her into a vampire. Bella sulks and Ed becomes distant and brooding. Jacob makes a move and gets rejected. Edward comes back, then he and Bella speak of how much they love each other. Ed still won't turn her into a vampire and Bella sulks some more.... Jacob gets rejected.
Great story! -
I only watched the trailer for the shirtless, young boys.
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... the JJ Abrams' Star Trek of the vampyre horror genre.
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Well, it keeps the site going, you know? The more hits it gets, the more changes it has to keep on. It's like the JJ Abrasm's Star Trek threads, AICN have figured out that the movie spurs passions, both form the fans and the detractors, and both contribute to hits. Frankly, i'm sympathetic to that. I have amny complaisn and criticism about this site, but i still like it enough to hate if it go away. Besides, this bile spewing is fun. When a movie is so bad it insults our intelligence and hurts our geek soul, be it JJ's Trek, the Twilight movies, Bay's Transformers or whatever, it's legit we say our piece, with anger. It's our way to hurt back the movie that hurt us, evne if all we really get is to hurt their fans, which is second best.
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Better writing, acting and production overall! Not predictable like Diaries and Twilight! There kind of boring when you think about it! With really not much feeling or I should say They don't make me care about the characters!
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should be forced to watch a double bill of Near Dark and Let The Right One In.
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I do not understand why my gender is so obsessed with Twilight. Yeah, I read the books. I was bored, and the first three were mildly-entertaining (if somewhat annoying) mindless beach reads. The fourth book, on the other hand, was disturbing, and made me question the sanity of the author (seriously, read a synopsis of it sometime). It also made me wonder if the average mother who allows her daughter to read the Twilight series knows what it's about. Bottom line is that their relationship is unhealthy. Bella is completely dependant on Edward... she literally can't even walk down a sidewalk without him "saving" her from her own clutsiness. He controls every aspect of her life from the moment they become serious. He practically stalks her, even breaking into her room. If Edward were human, this would not be a "romance", it would be a cautionary tale on Lifetime.
And the actor who plays Edward is not "hot". He looks like someone hit him in the face with a frying pan. -
I haven`t seen these films. Saw a little of the first one online but it didn`t sit well with me. This trailer really makes this new one seem , well, boring as hell. no action...Are the others like that?
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make sure NOT to mention that team edward dies in 9/11 at the end. I repeat, do NOT spoil the movie for them by accidentally blurting out that robert pattinson is in tower 1. also, do NOT flood twilight message boards with the surprise twist ending. don't do it.
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...Harry Potter films, Transformers, I did not enjoy Avatar as much as some people, however I respect people's opinions and the fact that they may enjoy it and good for them- but this series of films is just so bad, so fucking EMO and so laughably acted and directed that I REALLY FUCKING HATE THEM!!!!!!
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when I say I think every single one of those lines have been in one of the past trailers for the other two, at some point. Bringing in David Slade would be cool I guess, but I see that they kept the same chick responsible for the other two screenplays. And it shows, judging from this shitty teaser.
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...say whaa?
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Let The Right One In and Interview With The Vampire are still my faves. Sorry, but 30 Days of Night was just a slashfest. There's nothing to that movie. LTROI and IwtV had far more in-depth, interesting vampires without taming them too much (yes, Louis is a pussy, but even so he's not "defanged"). The vampires in 30 Days of Night could have been any other supernatural creature and the story wouldn't have changed much. It added nothing to the vampire mythos.
Have to say, though, True Blood is my current favorite. Sexy, dangerous, fun, engaging, AWESOME music, crazy plots, great acting (for the most part)... it's just all-together good. Vampire Diaries? I gave it a try. I couldn't make it past 10 minutes; it was like Twilight minus the werewolves and with some non-sensical things thrown in for flavor. Something about a compass that points to the nearest vampire. Sorry, couldn't do it. -
Wait... doesn't Edward's FATHER die in the terrorist attacks at the end?
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Is that sarcasm or an insult, I can't tell.
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spoiler
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Mar 11, 2010 11:39:43 AM CST
Are there any genre elements at all in this one?
by the reluctant austinite
Any werewolves? Any vampires that actually do vampire stuff? Or have they just thrown it all out by this point to focus on the pretty pouting and sixpack abs? Is this the modern equivalent of "Dark Shadows" or is even that giving this too much credit?
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If that's the case, then my opinion of that movie just improved ;)
And is it still a spoiler if no one's is actually planning on seeing the movie? :) -
As a woman who doesn't go for this retarded crap I feel the need to say that every time I see anything related to this nonsense. My gender makes me sad, a lot.
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it was a sunny new york morning. but for some reason there was a chill inside me, even though it wasn't particularly cold. I was just saying good bye to some co-workers i had met up with for drinks after work. we had partied all night, and i was feeling it already. the first thing i did was call in sick for my next shift. however, i now had to deal with the walk home.as i walked the 7 blocks to my apt. i debated waving down a cab. "It's only a short walk," i confided in myself, "I've done it hundreds of times before, and there is no reason for me to get lazy now."that's when i heard the voices. they were faint, but i could swear i heard my name. I figured i now had the day off, and something interesting was happening so i would follow them. they seemed to get louder as i walked into the busy new york streets.they brought me to a clearing between two buildings. at this point the voices were no longer a curiosity, but i felt they were guiding me... pulling me into a desired direction.one of the buildings seems to call out to me as i entered. i spoke to no one, and immediately entered the elevator. for some reason i pushed the button for the highest floor allowed.i exited the elevator, and voices had now become a cacophony. singing thousands of different songs at the same time. I ran towards the window to see outside and get my head clear...but thats when i saw the planes heading straight towards the building.the kids at school had always told stories about it when we were young. "someday, its going to GET YOU TOO!" they would say. but i never really believed it. there it was, however, and there was nothing i could do...9/11 had got me.
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...but if you don't STFU about JJ Abrams and Star Trek in talkbacks completely unrelated to them, I'M GOING TO COME TO PORTUGAL AND F'ING KILL YOU. Please, buddy, for all our sakes, LET IT GO. I'll allow the off-topic Bay hatred, though, that amuses me. -
The only way to kill sparkly daywalking vampires? You gotta 9/11 'em.
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Ouch. I've been meaning to check out Dark Shadows... now I might not :o\
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You and I should get together and make it our life mission to purge our gender of all Twilight fans. Or at least make it so that they can't breed... or vote.
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you had to collect all the pieces, then you could defeat the final boss using 9/11.
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I don't care if I spoil this because...well it's Twilight. But I heard that in the last book, whatsherface Bella gets pregnant and the half-vampire baby eats its way out of her belly and the only way to save her is to turn her in to a vampire which the vampire lover Angel wannabe does.
As much as I loathe Twilight, I'd almost watch it if that was going to happen in the movie...or at least watch the scene on a pirated youtube clip....almost. -
as soon as the baby is born jacob falls in love with it... he wants some hot infant ass i guess. so he 'imprints' it.. (which i guess is like a cat spraying something.) so that the baby is 'his.'then, of course, 9/11 attacks them both and kills the the baby.
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That's nasty
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I can drink to that one.
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I gave up halfway through when I couldn't rescue the Princess from Columbine HS. That cafeteria scene is impossible!
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Came here to Portugal. I'll make you know food and drink that will make think you died and gone to heaven.
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Besides, i said no lie. As it's writen, the truth shall set you free.
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Don't mince words, tell us what you really think.
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I owe you dinner. Kudos, fair lady.
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Bjt you need to explain one thing to me: why should JJ Abrams get a free pass but not Bay? Not that i'm trying to give any leeway to Bay, fuck that asshole.
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This series sucks, it really is fucking terrible. I watched the first one, was made for TV bad. I didn't make it all the way through the sequel. Trailer was awful, gooey, schmaltzy nonsense "I love you" "I love you too" "I will die for you" "I will die for you too" "I want to have your babies" "I want to have your babies too" zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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But fuck it, I'm coming out, I've got the horn for Bella! ;-P
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Is this horseshit going to be in 3D? Since 3D seems to be the new gimmick, they should try to bring back the old "tingler" seats for all of the women to get off on while watching this horseshit.
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They wouldn't make these shitty movies if people didn't support them. Yet opening weekends for garbage like this breaks records. What happened to our culture? Why does something like Transformers 2 make 800 million? It's a fucking awful film. Where did things go wrong? I know we've gotten so used to seeing shit movies being made, but why are we used to that? Why aren't we actively boycotting these studio market driven feature length commercials? I assume most people who visit this site like Stanley Kubrick? Why would a fan of his participate in Hollywood's assfuck-fest of the human race?
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The same goes for all of these assholes who tuned into The Tonight Show to see that shithead Leno return and boost his ratings undeservedly.
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Jesus...H...Christ.
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Or does this go on for like another 9 books or something like Harry Potter?
And honestly, there were two laugh out-loud funny lines in the trailer alone.
...and who's the hot red head? -
great name by the way, but yeah, America was some of the worst media related shit ever. Jay Leno is a comedy star? Dane Cook? Shia Lebeouf? LIndsay Lohan? There are great actors as well, but they're all over 45 years old. The most popular celebs right now are horrible actors, and people just get off on the fantasy of the money they have. Our culture has been slowly conditioned to actually like and support utter shite. Can you believe that? I mean just stop for a minute and think about this really hard...our most popular culture (music, movies, TV) is utter and complete shite. There is no quality involved...the only quality is the set dressing and cinematography. We actually idolize these heathens. Unbelievable.
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Seriously.
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This is the penultimate one. (Look it up.) Just sayin' ...
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I appreciate the offer (despite sounding eerily like a polite threat to kill me, j/k), and if my quest to walk the earth seeking truth and justice ever takes me to your neck of the woods, I'll gladly take you up on it. And it's not that JJ gets a free pass, it's just that even Amish communities and lost stone-age tribes know about your hatred for JJ by now... people might be more inclined to agree with you if we weren't so sick of hearing about it. I know it's AICN and bitching is a tradition, but I, for one, know that I enjoy reading your posts where you talk about the movies you like, much more than reading the same complaints about JJ and Star Trek over and over and over again. -
As a Kubrick fan, i feel your pain.
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My mission is complete, then. Oh, wait, there's still the natives from Papua New-Guine, who are still in ognorance to that. I almost forgot about them. They need to know too.
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No, man, my offer was sincere. You really need to make your acquaintance with our cuisine and drink, beer and wines. You would love it. Just ask Flickapoo about the wines, he knows. It has always been a dream of mine to shown an american our good food and drink stuff. The french have the fame, but we have the stuff, and far more affordable too. On a turist perspective, it's a total win-win.
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I mean, I know this is Merrick's article, but the all of Twilight coverage on this site is contributing to it's downfall.
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and this looks 1,000x worse. And I'm sure Harry will watch this a bunch of times but be too embarrassed to review it.
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So terrorists killed our hot "hit by a frying pan" hunk on 9/11? Wow! Great twist! Down with "terrorists"!
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Actually, i think we all own those terrorists a beer.
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I finally watched the first Twilight film. I'm still laughing. My impression was emo teems who cant act, and the director knew it, gave them as few lines as possible, and filled in the movie with lots of melodramatic piano music. Felt like there were 11 lines of dialogue in the movie and and hour of piano.
AICNs coverage of this garbage seems indicative of the overall taste and review talent on this site; sell outs that will tout anything that pays. How is that HDDVD player working out for you Harry? I suppose Harry is too busy going down on the tranny he married to actually pay attention and truley review anything from an honest standpoint. -
Mar 11, 2010 3:35:03 PM CST
Wow. A trailer on AICN that I did NOT click through to.
by royston lodge
First time in ages I have NOT watched a trailer posted on AICN.
Maybe even the first time ever.
Now excuse me while I watch the TRON trailer one more time... -
Rolling Rock's on me!
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Mar 11, 2010 3:36:18 PM CST
Hard Candy was good, except for the in-your-face ending.
by royston lodge
I would have enjoyed it WAY more if they left some ambiguity in the mind of the audience over whether the guy was actually guilty or not, or if the chick really was just batshit crazy.
But that wouldn't have kept with the Riot-GRRL politics of the thing. -
That movie was so flamingly femminist it hurt.
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Fuck Twilight, fuck Harry Potter. These are the cinematic equivilents of a wet farts- they cause minor discomfort, sink but are forgotten in minutes.
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Feminazi, you mean.
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would be one sick movie directed by David Slade!
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I already want my money back.
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Right now, there's only four books. There was supposed to be a fifth, but about a year ago (I think) someone leaked a rough draft of a chapter or two, and the Mormon Wonder had a hissy fit. She refuses to release anything more now.
I think we all owe the leaker a beer. -
Imagine if it was "500 Days Of Twilight"... and without Zooey.
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Actually, the baby doesn't eat its way out. Edward perfoms a c-section with his teeth (because the half-vampire baby made Bella's womb impenitrable to anything but vampire teeth).
No, I'm not joking. Like I said, the fourth book is disturbing. -
My favourite ultra-violent gore-fests are sadistic nonsense!
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Imagine if only the 4th book existed. I ssupect the saga would had not been known as romantic that it is, hem?
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would have been the first book from Edward's point of view. If something is painful and stupid, would you go do it again? Apparently, millions would.
The fourth book is grotesque, which makes it interesting to see. I would like Lars von Triers to direct it (praying day and night). -
Just sayin'.
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They're talking about splitting the fourth book into two films a' la Kill Bill. If true, I'm right. Anyway, who cares? Really?
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You are a bastard. I was going to see it for the ending (with a Edward fan. I thought the dad was going to shoot him.) Oh well. Saved around £30.
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Every one of you fuckers is on fire. The laughter I've endured for the past few hours is worth more therapy than I'll be able to afford in three lifetimes. THANK YOU ALL, SINCERELY!!
On with the nonsense. And THIS should have been the last shot of the first movie:
http://tinyurl.com/ye63q7j
You're all so very welcome. -
...that Harry, Merrick et al hate their readers, and love hit counts.
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These movies are HORRIBLE (yeah, I've seen the first two) And HOW do these actors get work?
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Mar 11, 2010 8:35:49 PM CST
How can we justify women are equal to men after TWILIGHT?
by ricarleite2
I mean, we should all go back to the 17th century on the subject of feminism thanks to this film. Why should I give a woman the same salary as a man if she is in love with this shit? Dumb men love Wrestrlemania and Big Foot races. Smart men enjoy reading Saramago and watching a film by Werner Herzog. But intelligent women enjoy Twilight. (oh and before someone starts to scream and cry, this is an exagerated metaphore for the porpouse of bashing the film)
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It was filmed in a way that it is ambiguous to either she is right, or she is batshit insane. But they just go ahead and shove that VERY unlikely ending that looks like it came straight out of Home Alone. She had planned all the way so he would HANG HIMSELF at that precise moment?! Why not just have a trap with an iron falling to his head comically? One of the most fucked up endings ever. Ruined the whole thing.
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No one is going to scream & cry as long as you use a metaphore with porpouse.
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Real relationships don't exist... people are with the love of their life all the time. No dating, no trying things out to discover the type of person you might like, nothin of the sort. Every character is paired off with somebody as if God is playing a memory game... these two go together... and these two... and these two. Also strong independent woman do not exist. All women need a man to protect "i.e. control" them. This whole thing reeks of a poor 12-year old girl, with no experience with love or relationships, would think life is like. I hate the impression that it gives to young girls. I imagine they are going to be quite heartbroken when they find out you don't have relationships with people like you do in those books.
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There's a great radio ad from blockbuster up here in Canada for the New Moon DVD launch that had us laughing. I wish I could find a link on the web for it.
At least YouTube has the one minute New Moon parody that was entertaining. Otherwise, yeah, I this Eclipse film looks boring. And I have no intention on ever watching Twilight or New Moon. -
We all Know "Twilight" sucks...
Is there any real reason for me to read all the comments explaining WHY it sucks?? -
is it the one where you hear girls shriek and then boys shriek the same? cuz if so yeah i laughed when i first heard it. lol
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The team and talk backer. Anyway I only have on thing to say to Twilight fans, as Two Face said brilliantly: "Why won't you just die?"
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Grab every teenager you know and make them watch Lost Boys and any John Hughes movies you can get your hands on. Just so they know that somewhere out there, there exist teen movies and vamp movies and even teen vamp movies that aren't filled with lame, emo cardboard characters. My teenage brother is half my age, and I made it my mission to educate him in these things. Granted, it was more about molding him into a mini-me, but I digress. I almost cried when he said he forced his friends to watch Ferris Bueller, which they loved. And after the first Twilight, he said that was the worst vampire movie he'd ever seen, Lost Boys was way better. I'm telling you, get 'em while they're young!
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Mar 11, 2010 11:21:38 PM CST
O:52 Holy fuck Whats happening with Robert Pattisons head?
by bloodawn5
He looks like hes about to become a sentient floating head and leave his body behind!!!
By the way Doe this movies have a little action, I mean they are always talking,hugging,kissing and looking confused,I mean if this is what girls love go to an Old folks Assylum -
yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn and I love all the emotionless acing, are the actors even trying?
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http://broodingtotaldestruction. ytmnd.com (remove space)
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Mar 12, 2010 12:22:30 AM CST
The only thing Stephenie Meyer should be allowed to write down..
by thound3
Are customers orders at the local IHOP.
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I didn't think anythign could be better than New Moon but this sure has a chance. Obviously not a lot of fans here but I am big one. June 30th seems like a long time away but I can't wait for this. Thanks so much for posting link. This will be best film of 2010.
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and all I could think about was: 'I need to do more sit-ups, I need to do more sit-ups...ooh there's Michael Sheen....Man, he's rubbish in this...oh, fuck off Bella...no, I mean really, fuck off.'
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..for the same reason girls don't like movies where women get bukkaked and pounded in the ass.
If you could stare broodily at a chick and say those things with absolute conviction, you'd get SO MUCH action. Oh, and be attractive.
Get used to it; it's feminine emo-porn. -
Who the fuck is interested in this shit? Even the trailer looks like total ASS.Bring on some REAL news!
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And even my 16 year old niece, who loves the books and movies, says the books get worse as you progress through the series.
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Vampires are more than happy to go down on them during their monthly visitor.
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...i liked evolution. :p
why would you retards compare this crap to that? cmon. you can do better than that. -
It's been a while since I've read the books, but if memory serves, this movie will probably be action packed. . .so it won't be as painful for all the guys that'll inevitably be dragged to this torturous ordeal.
IIRC, the entire book is just a huge buildup to the wolves and vegetarian vamps teaming up in order to take on a small army of newly created, uncontrollably bloodthirsty vamps, which ends in a huge battle scene amidst many dismembered vampire body parts. This, combined with the director of 30 Days of Night, makes me somewhat optimistic that the movie won't suck.
But after watching that trailer filled with impossibly corny lines and sappy moments, I'm not sure my optimism is justified at all. -
Streaming on Netflix at this very moment if you subscribe. I've seen it four times.
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Twilight porn time: Bella's could see edward's back muscles glistening in the reflecion in the steamy mirror. Overcome with emotion, she let her hand stray between her legs to find the very spot that he'd been pounding like a jackhammer less than 10 minutes ago.
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You're a terrible, terrible actress. You're not fit to be in movies. Oh, Bella. Let me console you by hugging your face with my legs. Shhhhh. Shhhhh. That's it. Just let the knowledge of how terrible an actress you are fade away. Shhhh. Shhhhh. There you go. See? Werewolves, vampires, they're all still men. That's your first mistake. Shhhh.
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...they wouldn't have rushed this movie to be made, Rachelle LeFervre wouldn't have been canned, and as it turns out, the script for the last one isn't even finished. Then again, when HAVEN'T movie studios made dumb decisions?
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But it looks decent.
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"Also strong independent woman do not exist. All women need a man to protect "i.e. control" them."
i don't support "twilight" in anyway, but i did read all 4.33 books and there is one woman who is quite fearsome. a vamp named rosalie who went king kong any time someone threatened her man and had the most vicious history of any of them. the werewolves hate her because of how tough she is. -
THANK YOU. You couldn't be more correct.
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Yep, that's exactly it. :) There's a scene in one of Anne Rice's books where that actually happens. Lestat made his girlfriend's period a lot shorter. Hey, I wouldn't mind that myself.
But seriously, guys don't like vampires? Why not? My God... Underworld, Moonlight, Kindred: the Embraced, Queen of the Damned... there are some seriously HOT female bloodsuckers out there. -
Rosalie kind of proves Doug's point even further. The ONE female character that might be described as strong is a complete bitch that is hated by everyone (not just werewolves, and not because she's "tough").
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But it's a soap opera. It moves very slowly and rarely does anything spectacular happen. But it has the magic of Dan Curtis, and "Twilight" does not.
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emmett does not hate rosalie, nor do carlisle and esme. rosalie isn't a complete bitch. she made quite an effort to appeal to bella's humanity when she refused to back making bella a vampire. she was very clear that she was standing in for bella in a way no one had for her when carlisle decided to turn her. rosalie recognized her faults as a human being and acknowledged that her simple dreams to be a wife and mother were still valid and essentially priceless to her.
the werewolves didn't like b/c when they got too close to emmett, rosalie came out swinging. that's a pretty strong woman.
her demeanor might be unpleasant, but the case is vividly made that she is not a "complete bitch." -
What would you have prefered, a clock's hand moving in fast motion.
or a calendar with X's through the days? -
http://tinyurl.com/yajvjkw
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Anakin or Edward? They both have the same acting coach.
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Looks just like what I thought happened in the last one. TV episodes move faster. All three of these movies look like the the three acts of an uninspired melodrama. I know we all have different tastes, and I'll be first to say I hate Transformers too, but this crap is just shamelessly lame. It deserves ten times the backlash that Titanic got.
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"she was very clear that she was standing in for bella in a way no one had for her when carlisle decided to turn her."
Yes, she was standing up for Bella, but for her own selfish reasons. She didn't care one bit for her; in fact, Rosalie HATED Bella until she got pregnant, and then all of a sudden you couldn't separate the two. It was very clear that all she wanted was to live vicariously through Bella because Bella could have a baby and Rosalie couldn't. She was the one who talked Bella into carrying the pregnancy to term even though it almost killed her. Rosalie just wanted a baby, even if it cost Bella her life. Those facts, coupled with her "unpleasant demeanor"? Sorry, but what else would you call her? Just because she was strong doesn't mean she's not ALSO a complete bitch. -
Oh, good... I will add it back to my list :)
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I'm kidding; I like to see Grrl tb'rs argue things out, as it so very rarely happens.
I have this thing going on in RL with a girl at work. We both like BtVS. But just because I like BtVS doesn't mean I like all things "Vampryre" , Twilight & True Blood included. Both authors are big fans of The Buff and the writing both come off as Slayer fanfiction to me. -
Dude, do you have ADD? I already mentioned a couple simple yet effective ways you can show time passing without talking down to your audience. You want more? Fine...
Fade out on the characters eating and drinking something. I mean, they're stuck with these vampires in Alaska and have to survive, so eating & drinking are a necessity. Not once in the entire movie do I recall anybody eating or drinking. Even though this is a horror movie, hunger and thirst would be a MAJOR hurdle for the survivors.
So, fade out with them doing that. Fade in on somebody trying to salvage some tiny scrap of food out of a wrapper or something and show a pile of discarded water bottles and empty food containers in a corner of the attic (I'm choosing that scene since they were supposed to be holed up in that attic for at least a few days). So in the matter of ten seconds in the movie you've just shown that a lot of time has passed, the people are hungry, thirsty and scared.
Find other creative ways to show time passing like that, rather than throwing random text on the screen saying "Day 22", yet the characters are acting no differently than they just were in the previous shot, and nothing has changed in their situation. That really pulled me out of the movie every time they did that.
Having said all of this, I still doubt I'm going to convince somebody like you that 30 Days of Night royally sucked, so unless you have something of merit to add, just let it lie. -
And that you're still the raucous perv you always were. Welcome back, sir.
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