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The @$$Holes pick their @$$ies for a second day in a row as AICN COMICS PRESENTS THE SIXTH ANNUAL @$$IE AWARDS: DAY TWO!!!!

Welcome to AICN COMICS: SIXTH ANNUAL @$$IE AWARDS, where your favorite @$$Holes pick the best in comics! I’m Ambush Bug. We’re doing this year’s @$$ie Awards a little differently. Much like our highly successful Best of the Decade Lists from last month, instead of having the entire awards show happen in one day in one bulky column, we’re prolonging the magic and spreading the @$$y goodness over a three day span for much easier consumption. As always, the @$$Holes can’t agree about anything, so each reviewer picked their own @$$ie winner for each category. Check out yesterday’s picks here! And now, the second portion of our awards ceremony and join us all week to find out who will win the coveted @$$ie Award!
And the categories are…
(Click title to go directly to the category)
Best Miniseries
@$$ie Subcategories 3
Best Comic Book Character
@$$ie Subcategories 4
In Memoriam 2009
Best Artist/Art Team
(Click title to go directly to the category)
Best Miniseries
@$$ie Subcategories 3
Best Comic Book Character
@$$ie Subcategories 4
In Memoriam 2009
Best Artist/Art Team
Most Over-exposed Character (who isn't Wolverine)
Barack Obama (from every other comic this year)
Best Use of Time Travel
DAYS MISSING
(Archaia)
Lamest Use of Time Travel
CAPTAIN AMERICA (Marvel Comics)
Red Skull’s lame attempt to get rid of Cap by bouncing him through time. Pinky and the Brain had better evil schemes…
Looking into the Future: Next Year’s Lamest Use of Time Travel
Whatever half-cracked scheme Morrison has to bring Bruce Wayne back from limbo (DC Comics).
Best (and by “best” we mean “worst”) Homophobic Remarks by a Comics Professional
Rob Liefeld’s cringe-worthy online forum hissy-fit when his one-dimensional creation Shatterstar was “outed” by Peter David.
Most Forgettable Cast
The chick that goes fast…the douchebag Aborigine rocker…uhm…wait…don’t tell me…some fat wizard…uhhhh…Ares’ kid…and the rest of the SECRET WARRIORS (Marvel Comics) that aren’t Nick Fury and Dum Dum Dugan.
Skipping Record Award
The BLACKEST NIGHT Crossovers which read like a skipping record over and over and over where basically the exact same shit happened starring a different set of heroes and zombified villains in each one (DC Comics).
Worst Continuing Trend
Unfinished series—we’re still waiting on THE TWELVE and MARVELS: EYE OF THE CAMERA. Come on, guys!
Best Mystery Comic
Rick Geary’s FAMOUS PLAYERS: THE MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF WILLIAM DESMOND TAYLOR HC OGN (NBM Comics Lit)
Best Vampire Comic
Tie: Jesse Blaze Snyder’s DEAD ROMEO (DC Comics) & Ryan Mecum’s VAMPIRE HAIKU ( HOW Books)
Character We Want To See More of in 2010 Award
Kirkman’s THE DESTROYER (Marvel Comics); a damn fine old @$$-kicker comic!
Best Romance in Comics
Clint (Hawkeye) and Bobbi (Mockingbird) in Jim McCann’s NEW AVENGERS: THE REUNION (Marvel Comics), not since Dave and Maddie on MOONLIGHTING have we cared so much about a fictional couple getting back together.
Hope you enjoyed this portion of the awards! Click here to see yesterday’s installment featuring the @$$holes’ picks for Best Single Moment/Single Issue, Best Special/ One Shot/ Annual, and Best Cover/ Cover Artist!
And don’t forget to tune in tomorrow for Best Writer, Best Publisher, and Best Ongoing Comic Book Series for our final act of AICN Comics Sixth Annual @$$ie Awards! And now, we must take our leave to allow you all to pick your own @$$ies in the Talkbacks!
Proofs, co-edits & common sense provided by Sleazy G
@$$ie Award Image by superhero
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Yay!
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What a shame. Even if you didn't appreciate the story, it's hard to deny two things.
First, Hit-Girl is one of the most engaging & entertaining new characters in years. I literally bought each new issue just to see what mayhem she'd get into next.
Second, I half expected a nod for John Romita Jr. in this column. JRjr produced some of the best work of his career in Kick-Ass and was only equaled by his outstanding 90s Amazing Spider-Man run.
For shame. -
No reviews this week, or am I just being impatient?
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I mean, he only dominated the entire year at Marvel.
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Over indulgent stuff I've seen before done better (what if superheroes really existed in the real world = yawn). Hit-Girl was just another attempt to be controversial. If you liked, it fine. To quote the dude: That's like...you're opinion man. But Millar's writing turns me off becuase there's very little feeling or soul to it. To me, Kick Ass the comic was an afterthought. Millar was looking to do a graphic pitch for a movie, and good for him that it worked out. JRJR was pretty good, but again, a lot of the non action money shots were sloppy as usual. Plus the self fellatio that went on with the back covers of the book was a real turn off. All in all, when I was making my list out for the best of the year, Kick Ass didn't even come close to making it. Sorry to disappoint.
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We're doing a column all week long though. Previews on Mon, @$$ies on Tues-Thurs, and a pair of cool Q&@'s on Fri. The Holes will be back next week with reviews.
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It's a joke of a comic book. It's gratuitous. It's uninspired and unoriginal. It's dumb. It's shallow. It's violence porn, illustrated. It constantly reminded me of a comic two buddies would cook up during lunch hour --IN THE 7TH GRADE.
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The thing I really hated about Kick Ass was that it ended with the same, "And YOU'RE the asshole for buying it!" joke that Wanted ended with. Kind of a dick move...
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I think Gabriel Rodriguez is a great cartoonist... but honestly, he sucks on a horror book. His style is more reassuring than scary, like a remake of the Exorcist done by Disney animators. NOT SCARY! However, Joe Hill's new novel, Horns, is fantastic!
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Nobody ever tells me anything. Besides Swamp Thing, his other comic role was as a second Hulk on the old Incredible Hulk TV show.
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Whoever put Secret Warriors as Most Forgettable cast either hasn't read the book or didn't understand it.
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Frank Quitely and Incognito get some recgnition, though
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How do the Farscape books measure up to the series? I was kind of put off by the Art.
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Hands down, the best thing about this site for as long as I've been coming here. Thanks for doing such a great job, guys
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Win best comic book series by default? Ohh wait not Geoff Johns worked on that superman show so it'll probably win. Or was Middleman 08? Either way that was a fun ass show. Too bad it wasn't on Cartoon Network or somewhere it would've been a hit. Which is probably never would.
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Didn't All-Star Superman (finally) finish this year? As much as I love his work in B&R, All-Star Superman is in my top-5 list of minis of all time, for writing and art.
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According to Wikipedia, All-Star Superman finished in 2008.
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...to jump in and give an acceptance speech for one of these comics. Man, if I was that documentary guy, I'd have drop kicked her @$$ of stage! See, that's why that guy is doing documentaries. Hey, lady, try that with James Cameron or Oliver Stone or Michael Bay ... not that you'll ever see Bay on that podium but my point is still valid.
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Well, it was no Liars, Guns, and Money. But it was pretty damn fun. The major empasis was on Rygel regaining his title, and Aeryn learning how to be a mother, which were both major shifts in the pattern of the show. But there's plenty of Scorpius. And Scorpious is a glorious bastard, no matter the medium.
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Happy Birthday, Buzz Maverik! All Hail the king of the Talkbacks!
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...Matt Wagner/Madame Xanadu mention. The guy has been producing interesting, original comic books for nearly 30 years. He deserves far more mention (and acclaim) than he gets.
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Did you not see the ending of Wanted? Or honestly, that entire book? Why would anyone trust Millar after that? The Millar fans of the world are literally like abused GFs who keep coming back because this time hes going to change. I mean.........he made the conclusion of one of his best known works into a description of the main character fucking his fans in the ass. I guess im supposed to laugh it off or let it go or something, because I'm supposed to owe Millar.....what, exactly? some undefined debt or something? What has ever done to earn goodwill from his readers?
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Go ahead and give the trophy to Max Damage now and get it over with, that race is a lock.
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Got the day off. Saw THE WOLFMAN because I see about one ME movie a year. Last year it was THE WATCHMEN. But I saw the Kick Ass trailer, which I'm too lazy to watch here. Looks interesting. but it ain't superheroes in the real world.,p>My vote for collection of 2009 is THE STING OF THE WIDOW, a collection of Black Widow mini-series from the 60s. I don't even know if this hardback was published in 2009, but that's when I read it. Nice, subtle cheesecake, sixties spy hip with a Marvel redhead because I betcha that brunette's didn't come out well with the coloring process of the day which is why Mary Jane Watson, Natasha Romanova and The Scarlet Witch are all those kind of redheads and the only real redhead was Jean Grey, who was one of those Ann-Margaret VIVA LAS VEGAS redheads. Anyway, to sum up my thesis here, I think Scarlett Jo could make a great Black Widow if she can do an accent. Dig that Russian accent.
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Nice with the Realm of Kings shoutout for the one-shot, that was indeed the best one shot of the year, truly creepy. And it is unfortunate that the MAdrox baby has, in hindsight, turned out to be only the brief resurgence of that title back to quality, before falling back down the same time travel "everyone hates mutants in the future" cliche crap rabbit hole.
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...but not talented enough to not have to try. I mean, Alan Moore is so talented that he can do THE VIOLATOR and it sucks but it has several funny gags, which is more than you get in a lot of comics. But Millar, a mere mortal, still has to try and he often doesn't. Which is why a lazy writer is worse than a bad writer.
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Mar 10, 2010 5:31:25 PM CST
Millar is a writer who has a lot of BIG!!! COOL!!! IDEAS!!!
by vroom socko
The problem is that his characters are all either idiots or sociopaths. He's basically the Michael Bay of comics, only more nilistic. I will say that he's written exactly one comic that worked for me: the opening arc on Ultimate FF that he wrote with Bendis. While it's not perfect, Millar managed to come up with some spectacular concepts, Bendis handled the characterisation perfectly, and each of their weaknesses as writers were somehow cancelled out by the presence of the other.
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Really? You guys went there? And then you wonder why comics are seen as nothing more than stuff for kids.
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You are opinion man? I'm more of a statement man myself. That's why Bug gets paid the big bucks!
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uhhhhh....pretty sure I picked up #6 like 2 weeks ago.
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In the Adventures of Superman kids series based on the Bruce Timm cartoon. That was way back, though...
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But I really love Millar's Red Son. I think it's one of the best Elseworlds stories I've ever read.
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"It’s been a long hard year for Dick. If things weren’t hairy enough simply having to take on the mantle of the Bat, Dick’s also been juggling the balls..." Man I'm immature!
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ripping on grammar in a TB post?
That's all you've got anymore?
Man, your trolling heydays are long behind you, aren't they, bunky?
You need to go back to troll college for a few more semesters. -
Has left an imprint on his book as an artist better than most.
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It came out a few weeks ago. I guess this column itself posted late. Irony, thy name is the guys who bag on Mark Millar to increase their street cred on AICN.
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I’m sorry I could have sworn this was Ain’t it Cool News and we were talking about comic books. You know the genre that portrays women with big breasts and no waists. Where grown men settle their differences by simply beating the snot out of one another
If suddenly this is now Time or Newsweek and we are going to seriously debate the “issues” of this world, I’ll be happy to provide a serious dissertation on the merits of Dick Grayson over Bruce Wayne.
Until then, Dick is indeed in a sticky situation…
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But the @$$ies were selected and compiled a couple of weeks before that. But the point remains valid, I think. Still wondering why there was, what... something like a three-month delay between the penultimate and final issues?
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Ult FF is far and away the best thing Millar has ever done. It took all the Millar trademarks (evil wisecracking villains who all seem to speak with the exact same voice, dead heroes) and turned them down to around a 6.0 or so, instead of his usual 10.0. The result was actually pretty entertaining. Its a shame he cant write like that all the time.
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in this talkback. Tons of Dick. Homer hasn't been this happy since his cable compant started offering Bravo. Heh heh.
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Good Millar: Ultimates 1, Ultimates 2, Ultimate X-Men, Ultimate FF, Superman: Red Son
Not So Good Millar: MK Spider-Man, Wolverine (his first run), Wanted, Ultimate Avengers (so far I'm not loving, it, but technically the jury's still out), Civil War
I haven't read any of his other stuff, but I do intend to pick up Old Man Logan when it's in softback. -
I just don't get that upset with the ending of Wanted. It's not my favorite, but I certainly don't harbor the bitter, bitter sense of betrayal that some of you do. I think, for me, the difference is I don't view it as: Once you like a creator (Millar, Bendis, Ellis), that doesn't mean you haver to like ALL of their stuff. I mean, I hate Ellis's Spider Jerusalem clones. And when Bendis gets too banter-y, it's a bad thing. Same with Millar... sometimes he has great ideas and then doesn't know what to do with them.
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To put it very, very simply in terms you can understand: it does not matter when this list was compiled. The title of the "award" is Unfinished series. Marvels: Eye of the Camera is not an unfinished series. It is finished. 100% So the list was posted too late when you're complaining about lateness. Thus it is ironic and extremely stupid.
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I refused to buy it, but still want to know what the "fuck you" to fans was this time.
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Was your pick of Dick Grayson as Best Comic Book Character because you really liked him or because you really wanted to wedge as much phallic humor into one paragraph as possible. Seriously... I thought that was hysterical.
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I can't believe anyone used those together in a talkback sentence except that "People who know who Mark Millar is and who post of AICN and use the phrase street cred, don't have any street cred."




