Ain't It Cool News (www.aintitcool.com)
Comics

AICN COMICS REVIEWS: JLA - CRISIS ON 2 EARTHS DVD! SIMPSONS! SCALPED! ROBOCOP! & MUCH MORE!!!

#41 2/24/10 #8

The Pull List (Click title to go directly to the review) JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRISIS ON TWO EARTHS DVD DARK WOLVERINE #83 SCALPED #35 SIMPSONS COMICS #161 BATMAN & ROBIN # 9 ROBOCOP #2 Retro Review: MARVEL TREASURY SPECIAL – 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY CHEAP SHOTS!

JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRISIS ON TWO EARTHS DVD

Directed by: Sam Liu and Lauren Montgomery Written by: Dwayne McDuffie Reviewed by: superhero

OK, so let’s get this out of the way first. THE SPECTRE short on this release is FANTASTIC! In all honesty I think that this short is possibly the best thing that the WB super-hero animation crew has ever done if not one of the best that WB animation has done period. Any animated film that tries to mimic music cues from Goblin’s soundtrack for “Dawn of the Dead” is just awesome in my book. To THE SPECTRE short and to Joaquim Dos Santos (director of THE SPECTRE) I just have to say: more of this please. This is the sort of thing that I can get behind. This is worth the purchase price alone.
Unfortunately I can’t really say that same thing for JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRISIS ON TWO EARTHS. Oh, I won’t say this entry into the DC Animated super-hero verse is bad per se. I actually really loved the character design and color palette of the thing. But I do have to say I was really pretty disappointed with it overall. I mean, there was just so much potential there and I think it was just wasted away on an average ol’ super slugfest that lasted seventy six minutes. If I wanted that I would just pop in SUPERMAN/BATMAN: PUBLIC ENEMIES and watch that over again. Oh, actually, I wouldn’t because I hated SUPERMAN/BATMAN: PUBLIC ENEMIES.
I’m not saying that I hated this but…it certainly is tepid. I’ll admit, maybe it was my own expectations that set me up for disappointment but I’ve enjoyed so many of Warner Brother’s super-hero animated films that I was hoping for something a little bit more than heroes meet bad guys, heroes and bad guys fight, heroes win. That’s pretty much what goes on here and it’s a lot of what we’ve seen before. Nothing all that new. Nothing all that different. A lot of the same.
There are so many ideas that could have come from this but they’re kind of frittered away. Superman and Batman meet their alternate universe selves and it’s just like, “Oh, hey, so should we fight or what?” There’s absolutely no character development here. You’re telling me than none of the Justice League want to know anything about their alternate universe counterparts? How they came into being? How did they take over the world? Why did they go bad when “our” JLA went good? There are so many great avenues this story could go down and none of them are explored. Hell, we don’t even learn one real fact about any of The Crime Syndicate except for the part about them being bad. Now if that isn’t the definition of a cardboard cutout villain I don’t know what is. And don’t even get me started on the alternate universe Lex Luthor. For someone who’s been able to outfox powerhouses like The Crime Syndicate he sure comes off as a bore. I found myself longing for the Luthor of “our” earth to get out of prison just so I could see a characterization of Lex Luthor that was compelling in some way.
You would think that with something as interesting as the concept of parallel earths that the brains at WB animation would come up with something more…I dunno…interesting? But they don’t and it’s disappointing. I mean, maybe it would have been less so if this crew hadn’t done something far more exciting with the concept in the old Justice League TV series with their “Justice Lords” arc. Of course they had a whole season to play that out but with only seventy six minutes maybe they couldn’t do much more than have people fight. Maybe there just wasn’t enough time to develop any of the characters. Maybe there just wasn’t enough story to come up with something other one of the lamest villain motivations I’ve ever seen. Maybe there just wasn’t enough time for anything really out of the box which is what something with the words “DC” and “Crisis” should strive for. Oh, who am I kidding…DC stopped having any respectability for any type of Crisis ages ago. It’s too bad it seems like DC Animated seems to have as well.
But still…that SPECTRE short…that kicked ass. Discovered as a babe in an abandoned comic book storage box and bitten by a radioactive comic fan when he was a teenager, superhero is actually not-so mild mannered sometime designer & cartoonist, Kristian Horn of Los Angeles, California. He's been an @$$hole for three years. Some of his work can be seen at www.kristianhorn.com and check out his blog at www.parttimefanboy.com.

DARK WOLVERINE #83

Writers: Daniel Way & Marjorie Liu Artist: Giuseppe Camuncoli Publisher: Marvel Comics Reviewer: KletusCasady

I hate Daken. The end. I don’t hate him being a player in the Marvel Universe but it bothers me that every time things are moving slowly for a particular superhero, then all of a sudden that hero has a child. It happened to Superman with Chris, the orphan from the Phantom Zone, who ages quicker than Fergie in HD. It happened to the damn Hulk with Skaar on a different planet and I’m pretty sure he has two illegitimate children now! It happened to Batman with Damien, where apparently Batman is even susceptible to being slipped a roofie and secretly had sex with, only to find out years later on Maury that he IS the Baby’s daddy, thus making him the father of an annoying/dangerous kid trained by assassins. Honestly, I’m starting to like Damien a little more, he mixes things up with Dick (must…not…make ….joke…) and the Batman & Robin dynamic wouldn’t be the same right now if he was a regular “good” Robin. Daken is the well educated, bratty, identity stealing, Muramasa blade infused, X-men defeating, almost Bulleye kissing, mohawk and tribal tattoo having son of Wolverine and he just rubs me the wrong way but I suppose he’s purposely written that way. I actually have no problem with him as a character; I just wish he wasn’t related to Wolverine. Also, Daken had no business being the one who killed Punisher; I mean didn’t Punisher fight Wolverine and survive? Not that it wasn’t a good fight but Daken is a newbie, wet behind the ears even and has no place killing a living legend. But his comic, up until this issue, has been pretty solid.
Daken isn’t really like Wolverine at all except for the claws and the healing. His approaches to situations are a lot more cerebral compared to Wolverine. Wolverine’s response to Norman Osborn would be to cut his head off and be done with it, while Daken’s approach is to play along, all the while corrupting everything from the inside because well…it seems like fun to him. Daken is like that kid in school that’s really smart but instead of blazing through every test with ease, he decides it would be a lot more rewarding to torment the teacher by way of laser pointer or the calculator watch that can turn the TV on and off. This effect is played out heavily in this series to comedic results. Daken & Bullseye’s interactions are by far the best because Daken fucks with Bulleye just to piss him off, even going so far as to pretend to be attracted to him just to throw Bullseye that much further off his game. I’m not thrilled about this book but the Dark Wolverine stories have just enough intrigue to keep me interested in what happens next. The cliffhanger from the last issue had me drooling for the next issue mostly because I was like “How could he do that when we are only on SIEGE #2?” I will say the answer to that question was really really disappointing, I wanted more and I got the VANILLA SKY answer (Don’t worry it’s not as boring). This issue was really weird and not in the Al Yankovic kind of way. I had a hard time figuring out this issue (which may have been the point) but with all the circular talking a particular set of characters were doing, I was left with a lot more questions than answers. Which I guess is good for a comic but I wanted my earlier questions answered before I started getting more and now I have too many questions and my biggest question is “Do I care enough to continue reading this comic?”
This is not the best issue of DARK WOLVERINE that I have read; in fact it might be the worst which doesn’t mean its bad its just not as good as the previous issues. This is mostly because we no longer are seeing Daken tormenting the rest of the DARK AVENGERS as we are now in SIEGE mode and the things I originally liked about this series aren’t really being explored anymore. In fact, I thought the way this series would go would be that Daken would end up imploding the Dark Avengers and Norman Osborne would crack thus ending DARK REIGN. But alas it is event time and I guess that takes precedence over…well…everything. The writing isn’t going to blow your mind but its pretty ok and it does a good job of tying into the events of SIEGE #2 (Specifically the part where Thor fries Daken like a crispy Tater Tot which I will be eating soon as I leave work). The artwork took a while for me to get used to; it’s like if Pete Woods and Stuart Immonen had an illegitimate child on another planet only to learn that he had followed them back to earth to challenge their artistic prowess. If you like Daken, I guess you probably already have this book and have no need for me to tell you to do so. If you don’t like Daken, call me and we’ll get a drink and plot his downfall. Seriously, if you don’t like him don’t pick this up because you’ll only fall further into Daken hate and hate breeds revenge and revenge only leads to the Dark Side. Plus, in about two months I doubt there will be much room in the Heroic Age for someone like Daken unless X-Force hunts him down and kills him.

SCALPED #35

Writer: Jason Aaron Artist: Danijel Zezelj Publisher: Vertigo/DC Comics Reviewed by Humphrey Lee

There’s something about the occasional one and done in a book like this that can really pull back the reins, so to speak, to give the reader a breather and give some extra perspective. Some of my favorite single issues of all time come from books like this that work inside the premise of the overall theme of the series and dedicate twenty-two pages to a distilled version of it, like “Heartbreak Sunny Side Up” from 100 BULLETS, or “The Yahweh Dance” out of LUCIFER. Jason Aaron and guest artist Danijel Zezelj’s tale “Listening to the Earth Turn” continues this great tradition.
I’ve long professed my love of this series now because of how much it reminds me of THE WIRE, no doubt the greatest TV show I’ve ever viewed. The way that show took all aspects of life in the city setting of Baltimore and made it come alive and emphasize the greater themes of the show was downright brilliant and that is a skill that SCALPED excels at as well, as this issue exemplifies. The focus of this issue is on an elderly couple, Mance and Hazel, who are deliberate “exiles” outside of the Prairie Rose Reservation. They live by themselves, they live off the land and what they can harvest and store from it, and they live for each other. Try as they might it may not be enough.
What it comes down to with this is the emotional journey that comes out swinging through Aaron’s obvious writing talents. The issue starts off with the couple out in the wastes, in some sort of peril to give the proper hint of foreboding before it shifts to Mance working the land and internally commenting on the way of the land and life on the outskirts of the Rez. A shift in perspective to his wife Hazel and the situation immediately becomes dire; they both are ailing, they lack for food in their stores and the winter is going to be harsh. The first words of hers in this comic are “It ain’t enough” and they are downright haunting.
Aaron and Zezelj just work masterfully from there. The way they unfold Mance and Hazel’s story is beautiful in how they manage the tone and the emotions that they are feeling. Determination, love, hope, despair -- all of these emotions are just the start of an absolute roller coaster of a journey in twenty-two pages. I would not expect anything less from this series. Thankfully -- because I do not think my heart could take it anymore -- this issue did not end as direly as I’ve come to live with when it comes to this book. Tragedy after tragedy will keep the story arcs going, but hope makes the heart grow fonder, and this issue was some much needed hope given the darkness of the last issue. Again, like THE WIRE and Baltimore, it can’t always be dark clouds over the hellhole that the Rez has become. This is excellent material overall and further indicative of just why this is one of the absolute best comics on the stand. Kudos to all involved.
Humphrey Lee has been an avid comic book reader going on fifteen years now and a contributor to Ain't It Cool comics for quite a few as well. In fact, reading comics is about all he does in his free time and where all the money from his day job wages goes to - funding his comic book habit so he can talk about them to you, our loyal readers (lucky you). He's a bit of a social networking whore, so you can find him all over the Interwebs on sites like Twitter, The MySpaces, Facebookand a Blogger Account where he also mostly talks about comics with his free time because he hasn't the slightest semblance of a life. Sad but true, and he gladly encourages you to add, read, and comment as you will.

SIMPSONS COMICS #161

Writer: Patric M. Verrone Artist: Various Publisher: Bongo Comics Reviewer: William

I’ve actually been reading the SIMPSONS COMICS since around issue #145 or so, when I first noticed a section at my local comic book shop devoted to TV/cartoon related comics. It was here that I also discovered other great TV comics to read, such as the FUTURAMA comics and the occasional Warners Bros. cartoon comics.
As with most SIMPSONS fan out there I’ve noticed a big decline in the quality of the episodes nowadays, especially since the producers began focusing nearly every episode towards a guest-starring celebrity. One has to only look at the earlier years to see just how great some of them really were. Like that episode where Lisa needed braces and Homer inadvertently became head of his union, or where Homer goes to space due to an everyman type of NASA program. Even middle years episodes had their moments, such as that great episode where Frank Grimes was first introduced.
The point is that the later years remain difficult to hold up to the aforementioned ones. And while I get the idea behind continuously centering episodes to guest celebrities (after all, a celebrity name will always be a draw), IMO the story remains sacrificed because there’s only so far that it can go based upon said celebrity’s attributes (age, sex, history, talent, etc). It can still work though if the episode is focused enough (that Dustin Hoffman episode comes to mind), or if the guest spot truly is a cameo (that Mickey Rooney cameo in the Radioactive Man movie episode is a great example), but most of the time it doesn’t.
In any case it remains a breath of fresh air to read these SIMPSONS comics, as these issues do not have to worry about tailoring their storylines towards the latest guest star. On top of that there’s usually 3 or 4 great little stories involved, so no one story outlives its own stay. There are however “themes” frequently associated within each issue, such as this one focusing on Springfield enjoying the world of cyberspace yet again. Writer Patric M. Verrone nicely brings every major SIMPSONS character into play here, with some fan favorite side-characters like Comic Book Guy, Professor Frink, Martin Prince, Lenny & Carl, and others included into each mini-story without it feeling forced. What helps too is that if you can imagine the character’s TV voices as you read this comic, it almost feels like a TV episode itself. The puns were great, the little side jokes were funny, the storylines nicely made sense within the world of Springfield, everything works here.
The various artists do a great job too, making each character flawlessly look like their TV counterpart. It was surprising to read that there were no less than 5 artists within this issue (one for each part), as the smooth visual transitioning between each story is absolutely flawless.
I heavily recommend grabbing a copy of these SIMPSONS comics if you’re a fan of the franchise. It’s a nice alternative if you’re getting tired of the latest TV episodes, and as an added bonus you’ll always get to see a whole plethora of ads for other SIMPSONS memorabilia. It’s a very nice way to see all the cool stuff the SIMPSONS franchise has out there.

BATMAN & ROBIN # 9

Writer: Grant Morrison Artist: Cameron Stewart Publisher: DC Comics Reviewer: Optimous Douche

“ttt!” With one little verbal tick, Morrison was able to quell my reservations about the longevity of Damian Wayne’s tenure as the newest Boy Wonder. After all, as fans we collectively bludgeoned the last douche bag that donned the circus tights. Why would we tolerate yet another misstep into a Robin that so drastically veers from the success stories of Dick Grayson and Tim Drake? I certainly was not willing to give the pass simply because he was.
For me the answer was simple: Jason was a stereotype. He was inspired in a time where latch key kids were on the rise and attitude came in the form of the one-dimensional after-school-special version of “troubled.” He was essentially all-anger, all-the-time, with very few virtuous traits to counter-balance the whining – well, until the last panel of his life (his first life – not his new form).
Aside from having mad skills from being raised around Grand Pappy’s assassins, Damian has something else--confidence. His arrogance comes from the surety that he is the king cock of the Robin walk and the heir apparent to the Batman throne one day. Plus Damian has that “tttt,” which always introduces a monologue or one-liner that breaks him out of the comic page to act as a narrator pointing out the ridiculousness of a world without Bruce Wayne and the sheer disdain he has for a world with Dick as the caped crusader. Honestly (and not surprisingly), my favorite moments of the BATMAN & ROBIN series are when Dick and Damian are at one another’s throats. For this very reason this issue was my favorite of the “Blackest Knight” story arc, since it was the first issue we see Dick back from London and Damian out of his wheelchair from his spine fracturing accident a few issues prior. Sadly though, this reunion was not until the last few panels of this issue and the only time we see the new dynamic duo together during this arc. Prior to this moment, we get smatterings of Damian and whole heaping helpings of my least favorite characters in the Batman universe: Knight and Squire. Seriously, I would rather choke down a blood pudding and pubic hair scone over this British import.
Yes, “Blackest Knight” has been my least favorite arc to date, in what has been a book that I can only call phenomenal. I don’t fault anyone for this; for every fan like myself that hates Knight and Squire, I’m sure there are two others that love them. I would never be so douchey to admit that my taste is the taste of an entire fanbase. Morrison even did an admirable job of keeping one issue in this arc totally focused on action, so all of us stupid Americans wouldn’t get tripped around too many Eliza Doolittle turns of phrase. “Right guv’ner -- show us your laz’ris pit.”
Morrison was even kind enough to deliver a fairly compelling story arc even though it wasn’t my cup of earl gray. Dick thinks he has the corpse of Batman and the location of a Lazarus Pit below London. Naturally Dick skips across the pond in an attempt to resurrect this corpse in the frothy life-giving goodness of the pit. As we all know though this is not Batman, since Batman didn’t die, but rather became a withered corpse and was shuttled through time (that is what happened, right? I feel like I’m making it up.) No, this was a clone that when resurrected speaks in much the same pattern of a Bizzaro world dweller (minus the double negatives though). How Dick discovers this was not the real Batman was even damn clever. The clone fights to kill. There was a great clever nod to Batwoman’s (yeah she’s here as well – although I’m not really sure what purpose she served when all was said and done) sexuality when Dick hits on her. The entire fight between Damian and Bizarro Batman was well played and I give Morrison huge props for using a wheelchair as a weapon. Cleverness truly abounds, but I still just can’t get past a guy honoring Batman by dressing like Robocop and his Court Jester sidekick. My loss I guess.
Despite my disdain this story-arc and issue are rife with important tee ups for the resurrection of Bruce Wayne. Since the corpse believed to be Bruce Wayne was in fact a doppelganger, Tim Drake just went from being an optimistic Pollyanna to a pillar of faith for believing Bruce to be alive. Dick will have many mea culpas in upcoming issues as I’m guessing we’ll see a return of Bruce Wayne right around the same time Nolan introduces his villain roster for the next Batman film (c’mon DC marketing, don’t disappoint me). I believe this is Cameron Stewart’s last issue; if so, a fond farewell sir. The splash page where you had Bizzaro Batman try to actually make rational sense of Bruce Wayne’s mind was simply comics done right.
In the end analysis I wish I could have looked past my prejudices because this was a well balanced story-arc with the right blend of action and dialogue to keep readers hooked. I just hate hate hate any international version of Batman. Please other countries come up with your own superheroes – please. Optimous is lonely and needs friends. Even virtual ones will fill the gaping hole, join him on Facebook or he will cry like a newborn kitten.

ROBOCOP #2

Writer: Rob Williams Art: Fabiano Neves Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment Reviewer: Mr. Pasty

1987 was an incredible year for movies. Oh sure, you had WALL STREET and DIRTY DANCING, THE UNTOUCHABLES and THE LOST BOYS. Heck, you even had that crummy EMPIRE OF THE SUN flick by some no-name director who quickly dropped out of cinema. But 1987 will live in infamy for me because it produced three action movies that are easily in my top ten of all time. First there was LETHAL WEAPON, followed by PREDATOR just three months later. Then came ROBOCOP. ROBO-FUCKING-COP. Welcome to America Mr.Verhoeven, I hope you enjoy your stay.
What is the measure of a great film? Well, if Dynamite Entertainment tries to convert it into a graphic novel and completely fucks it up, I’d say you have a bona fide classic on your hands. That’s why I passed on issue number one of this series. After what they did to THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY, I just couldn’t bear to see another prized memory ripped out of my historical womb and crushed between a pair of sterile salad tongs. As it turns out, it was my loss.
I’ll go out of my way to defecate on Dynamite when they get it wrong, so it’s only fair that I give them glowing praise when they’re right. While nothing could ever compare to the 1987 classic by the same name, ROBOCOP the comic book is a worthy successor. It doesn’t try to be TALES OF ROBOCOP or some other bizarre alternate universe re-tread; instead it simply inserts itself after the magic of movie number one and before the soiled maxi pad that was ROBOCOP 2. Trivia for fellow celluloid geeks: The sequel to ROBOCOP was directed by Irvin Kershner, who also directed the sequel to STAR WARS. Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum. Anyway, ROBOCOMIC works because writer Rob Williams fully understands the source material. The movie was about more than just robot cowboys in a futuristic wild west, thanks largely in part to Verhoeven’s demented (but delectable) satire. Williams uses it both sparingly and effectively and doesn’t forget that this is a story with heart. I was impressed by his restraint. A lesser writer would have likely crammed these pages with gun fu and robot carnage. There is plenty of action here but it’s obvious that Williams is a student of the game. Kudos.
Joining him in my accolades is Fabiano Neves, but that should come as no surprise. What did surprise me is how well he differentiates his art between titles. I wasn’t sure he could do Detroit Rock Gritty the way it needed to be done for this story, primarily because he’s so good at making RED SONJA one of the most bangable babes in the comic book universe. Like Williams, he understands the mood here and keeps the tone proportionate to the narrative. Dark, but never muddied down with a heavy brush -- and I popped for what he did with the ED-209’s. Yeah, they’re here. And if you like what they did in the movie, you’ll love what they can do in the comic (no, they still can’t walk stairs).
ROBOCOP #2 is a risky venture into an already established universe, but the gamble pays off because the captain and first mate of this ship are no strangers to the territory. You can feel their excitement throughout the story and that translates to a perfect example of what comic book reading should be: a kick-ass time. Give this series a look, it won’t disappoint.
Web heads who can’t get enough of Mr. Pasty’s word vomit are encouraged to watch him operate as Nostradumbass over at here. MMAmania.com. Love, hate and Mafia Wars requests should be directed here.

MARVEL TREASURY SPECIAL – 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY

Written and illustrated by Jack Kirby (based on the film by Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick) Reviewed by Stones Throw

Marvel Treasury specials are huge oversized comics, the sort that you’re not likely to see in a comic shop today. Finding this edition of Jack Kirby’s 2001 in the window of a charity shop was a moment of divine providence; I had to go in immediately and buy it. Jack Kirby is my favorite maker of comic books; 2001 was for a long time my favorite film (now it’s KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS) and Kubrick one of film’s best directors.
The comic offers a rare opportunity to see one master of his art interpreting another. Kirby was working with Kubrick’s themes even before Kubrick made 2001. He defined the nascent superhero genre and the first heroes he created were reborn men: people like the Guardian and Captain America, ordinary souls transformed into a higher, more heroic plane of existence—unlike the alien Superman or human Batman. Then he created most of Marvel’s distinctive characters, giving us Iron Man and the Hulk and the X-Men and the Silver Surfer—modern day Prometheuses.
What about Stan Lee? Well, I wouldn’t want to diminish his contribution, because every comic book artist needs a good editor and Stan Lee was that editor. If snappy dialogue and wit is important to you then Lee was good at that, too. But Kirby was the impetus-driving genius. Like the Lennon and McCartney of Marvel comics—or Coleridge and Wordsworth. Just look at Stan Lee’s work without Steve Ditko or Jack Kirby.
Kirby returned to DC where he created the even more startling NEW GODS. There’s more, too—his late-period run on BLACK PANTHER and THE CELESTIALS at Marvel, clearly showing the 2001 influence. Kirby was forecasting new forms of life and experience to correspond with the 20th century’s new technology for a long time. Look at Reed Richards or T’Challa’s wonderful inventions—the wizards of their day, able to conjure up anything for any purpose.
An adaptation of 2001, in oversized form, allows his awesome visual imagination to let rip. The book is bigger than a square foot and Kirby utilises the size to its full—double page spreads, page long panels, men walking across them, forms and shapes filling them up. There’s a lot of his famous collages, too. The coloring is elegant and psychedelic—not overbearing.
2001 is pure Kirby—not filtered and refined through superhero conventions or monthly comic books. It makes you regret he didn’t do more longform work, and that he never got to do a long run on THE HULK. Maybe then he’d be better remembered, looked at by people outside the comic book world.
I recommend this adaptation to any fan of comic books or science fiction—or literature and art in general--though it might be a struggle finding a copy.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #36 DC Comics

Last time I reviewed this book, I threatened dropping it if the stories didn’t start reading a bit more sophisticated and a lot less like filler material not fit for an 80 pg giant. And then BAM! POW! All of a sudden this issue happens. Willingham delivers a story with rock solid balls in this issue as the Fourth Reich attacks the JSA’s new headquarters. Major happenings occur here. JSA members die. We peek into the future as a morose Mr. Terrific looks back on this battle. The tone is dire and I’m loving every page of it. I was a bit worried after a pretty lame opening arc offered to us by Willingham and wondered if the greatness that the writer offers could translate to a more traditional super hero tale. This issue is a step in the right direction. - Bug

ULTIMATE ENEMY #2 Marvel Ultimate

Want to know how to make a Douche shut up? Ensure absolutely nothing new happens since the last issue of a book. For anyone that missed issue one, we are now seven months passed the events of ULTIMATUM. A pristine New York has recovered fully from Magneto’s pole dance (where did the water go?), until giant purple after-birth attacks. Nick Fury is being hunted by the cousin of the Green Lantern Corps’ Kilowog. Reed Richards is in witness protection with his family, until the internet blows up the house. Suzie is living in the Baxter building, the new Spider-Friends with Aunt May and Ben Grimm is still looking for a woman with a granite fetish. OK, you’re caught up, and remember that was a synopsis of issue 1. I understand the need for a slow burn, but Bendis has wrapped this thing in asbestos. I need more than one clue per issue (or do I? I’ll probably be back for issue 3 since I made it this far). There are some very nice and funny moments, but I kind of expect that by now from the great B-man. Now I want surprises…perhaps issue 3 will finally reveal who is behind the afterbirth and hopefully it will be someone who is generally a good guy so I can finally bust out with Ultimate Frenemy. - OD

DEVIL #1 Dark Horse

This book tries to man-up the vampire genre by adding some great gore, some high octane action, and by treating Vampirism as if it were a disease instead of a turn on for tweenies. This comic reads like a backwards manga and by the size of the captions, it looks as if it is adapted for American consumption. And it’s a good thing too because this was a really great read. Though the vamp virus appears to be contained, a new strain creating super vamps (called Devils) starts appearing and the government sends in a pair of investigators to take it on. Sure it reads a bit like BPRD, though the investigators are without powers themselves. I guess it’s more like an all too serious MIB versus mutant vampires. Whatever you want to compare it to, it’s cool and worth a peek. Torajiro Kishi does a fantastic job in both the writing and art department. - Bug

REALM OF KINGS: INHUMANS #4 Marvel Comics

Twists and turns galore as the one tight-knit family of Inhumans continue to fray at the ends after the death of Black Bolt. Mad Maximus is up to his old tricks. Crystal and Ronan the Accuser continue to become closer. Gorgon continues to rise in popularity among the Kree for his bravery in battle, while Queen Medusa seems to be flipping her big-@$$ wig. And the revelation at the end of this one is a doo-doo doozy. This is a pretty fantastic miniseries and proof that writers Abnett and Lanning can do no wrong. Great art by Pablo Riamondi too. Great book! - Bug

WE WILL BURY YOU #1 IDW Publishing

Can I give an impartial and unbiased review when I am absolutely smitten with one of the writers? Who knows? All I know is that the gorgeous Brea Grant (of HEROES and HALLOWEEN 2 fame) wrote this zombie period piece with her brother Zane Austin Grant and all jokes aside, it is a pretty fun zombie yarn. The tone of the story is entrenched in the flapper era, as a headstrong young moll breaks things off with her psycho boyfriend and takes up with a Ukranian femme fatale just in time for the Depression Era Zombie Apocalypse! Though this issue mainly serves as intros and set up, the true standout is the unique R.Crumb-esque art by the talented Kyle Strahm who can bring out the beauty of the dolls and the grotesque hideousness of the guys all at once. This is a miniseries to watch. - - Bug

RED HULK #2 Marvel Comics

Jeff Parker continues to spackle in between the cracks of Greg Pak and Jeph Loeb’s FALL OF THE HULKS story. This issue is caption heavy, but sheds some light on the mysteries of Thundra and her relationship with Red Hulk. Still don’t know who the hell Hulk is (though I have my suspicions) and in all honestly, I’m starting to not really give a shit, but Parker once again proves that he has what it takes to write a damn fine single issue and despite the over abundance of narration via caption, he still keeps things moving at a steady pace. Those of you not reading the Hulk books won’t give a care, but if you’re reading FALL OF THE HULKS, this is a pretty fine read. - - Bug

CAPTAIN SWING & THE ELECTRIC PIRATES OF CINDERY ISLAND #1 Avatar Press

Between this and SUPERGOD, Warren Ellis is two for two recently in winning me back. We all know his AVATAR work has been mostly vanity projects but, really, that’s what we love about Warren right? It always seems to come down to the combination of mad bastardry he uses but with some semblance of having a story he actually wants to tell while he’s having fun. CAPTAIN SWING, a steampunk story featuring Spring-Heeled Jack, seems to have that balance. There’s a lot of great elements here. There’s the sci-fi goodness that comes with the steampunk, there’s the obvious fear and dread of the time period this is playing with (1800’s England, natch), and of course there’s the action, bloodshed and one-liners a solid Ellisonian tale always brings to the table. “Harry, you must shit gin bottles.” Classic. Hopefully the rest of this mini stays as crisp and fun as this first issue, and then I’d say we’re in for a real treat. – Humphrey

Editing, compiling, imaging, coding, logos & cat-wrangling by Ambush Bug Proofs, co-edits & common sense provided by Sleazy G


Ad by Prof. Challenger

Remember, if you have a comic book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.

Check out the @$$oles’ ComicSpace AICN Comics page here for an archive and more @$$y goodness.

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • March 3, 2010, 8:34 a.m. CST

    First!

    by Psynapse

    What? It's been years since I did that. Get over it.

  • March 3, 2010, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Second is for the weak!!

    by The Dark Nolan

    Yes sensai!!!!

  • March 3, 2010, 8:41 a.m. CST

    There's 83 Issues of Somethint Called Dark Wolverine?

    by Autodidact

    Or did they just rename the current Wolverine series as Dark Wolverine? I don't keep up with superhero comics all that much, but every once in a while, I see the current issue number on a title and start to feel really old. Because I can remember when the first Wolverine series hit issue #72 (the series REALLY sucked around this time) and looking at that number, thinkning "holy crap, six years of Wolverine comics!" made me feel really old.

  • March 3, 2010, 8:43 a.m. CST

    where the fuck is my walking dead review

    by JBouganim1

    best comic out there

  • March 3, 2010, 8:47 a.m. CST

    That's the problem JB

    by optimous_douche

    Everyone already knows Walking Dead is awesome.<p> I've often thought of giving it the once over and then after I write awesome about 12 times I give up.

  • March 3, 2010, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Had the exact same feelings about Crisis DVD

    by Laserhead

    It's basically just the two teams fighting for 75 minutes. Meh.

  • March 3, 2010, 8:52 a.m. CST

    where the fuck is my crossed review

    by mynamesdan

    done more than walking dead in just nine issues. Final part out today. <p> read the preview of issue 0 here and wonder how on earth AICN haven't been all over this. <p> http://www.bleedingcool.com/2010/02/16/free-crossed-0-by-garth-ennis-and-jacen-burrows/ <p> no messing, this is the coolest comic I read in the last year.

  • March 3, 2010, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Crisis dvd

    by Powerring

    It had some entertainment value but it's the weakest Dc film of the lot. It's little more than a variant on the 1 hour episode "A different world" which is on the dvd. The fights I wanted to see were not movie caliber or superior to the episode. The spectre was awesome...period.

  • March 3, 2010, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Crisis

    by Kenny_Fucking_Powers

    Nail on the head about that one. I thought it had potential to be the best of the DC movies but it ended up being one of the weaker ones. Oh well, keep them coming anyway DC.

  • March 3, 2010, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Gave up on that a Red Hulk bullshit....

    by theycallmemrtibbs

    When the Blue one showed up. What's next? Fuschia Hulk?

  • March 3, 2010, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Steampunk

    by Joenathan

    I was always sort of half interested in Steampunk, I like some of the look and the trappings and all that, but try as I might, I could never really find any actual examples of it to lock onto beyond a few dribs and drabs. <br><br>(Remember the Bacchalo comic? CRAP-PYYYYY!)<br><br> For a long time, it seemed like Steampunk actually only existed in the minds of a few nerds and some chubby girls in corsets and tophats. It was like a fake Sci-fi genre that really, really, really wanted to be a real genre, but just wasn't. <br><Br>Now, all the sudden, it's fucking everywhere and you know what I've discovered?<br><Br>I fucking hate steampunk. It's dumb.

  • March 3, 2010, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Also

    by Joenathan

    Crossed is garbage

  • March 3, 2010, 9:40 a.m. CST

    You guys should review Secret Warriors

    by Joenathan

    That is a tight, well written book. It's got mystery and action and great art. It's good stuff, man. You all should check it out. I'm really enjoying it, mostly, because I honestly can't guess the next step most of the time. An all around good book. Seriously, check it out.

  • March 3, 2010, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Isn't Blue Hulk just in that little Mini Marvels comic strip?

    by rev_skarekroe

    Or are you thinking of Captain Universe Hulk from a few years ago? Or are you thinking of A-Bomb, who's more of a Blue Abomination than a Blue Hulk.

  • March 3, 2010, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Crisis on 2 Earths

    by Joenathan

    So... Does anyone have any idea why DC (and Marvel) DON'T follow the storylines of some of their great comics? I mean, Morrison's story was awesome, why not do it the same? Sure, sure: kids. And we've talked about that, but does the idea of an adult focused animation department seem so ill advised? Who do they really think is watching most of these AND why not have two separate branches? Kids animation and Adult animation? Fucking Japan has made an industry out of the idea...

  • March 3, 2010, 9:45 a.m. CST

    glad to see Scaled get recognition

    by v1cious

    seriously, this is like Vertigo's most underrated series right now. not only is the writing good, but the art is amazing. you can tell it's drawn by someone that really cares about his characters.

  • March 3, 2010, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Autodidact

    by paburrows

    They did rename the regular series to Dark Wolverine. I guess they figured that since Wolverine has two other staring titles, three X-Men Titles and an Avengers title that he could spare one. LOL

  • March 3, 2010, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Crisis

    by paburrows

    I enjoyed it a lot, I disagree on the review, and on the Danken stuff also

  • March 3, 2010, 10:40 a.m. CST

    I can't do Simpsons comics

    by Series7

    They are just boring to me and unfunny. And yes I hear the simpsons voices when I read it but it just doesn't work for me.

  • March 3, 2010, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Hated Cameron Stewarts art on Batman and Robin

    by Righteous Brother

    amateurish at best. It's a shame the didn't have Frank Quitely on art chores or at least someone like Andy Kubert.

  • March 3, 2010, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Isn't Red Hulk, Glenn Talbot? Wasn't this known like

    by V'Shael

    in 2008?

  • March 3, 2010, 11:08 a.m. CST

    And Red She-Hulk :

    by Psynapse

    Is Betty.

  • March 3, 2010, 11:25 a.m. CST

    So who is Red Hulk? And Red She-Hulk?

    by fiester

    Do tell...

  • March 3, 2010, 11:33 a.m. CST

    SUPPORT SCALPED!

    by StarchildAD

    For the love of god, support this title!

  • March 3, 2010, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Another vote for Secret Warriors

    by Laserhead

    I read the first two collections last weekend, and yep, that's good comics. I'd avoided it because it had Bendis' name on it, and I hate Hickman's 'The Nightly News.' But it was a damn fine read. I need to catch up on the newest issues now, actually.

  • March 3, 2010, 11:38 a.m. CST

    JUSTICE LORDS - packaged in with the DVD

    by Squashua

    I thought the JLU episodes depicting The Justice Lords were in with the Crisis DVD.

  • March 3, 2010, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Douche - Batman Final Crisis Death Correction

    by Squashua

    "... since Batman didn’t die, but rather became a withered corpse and was shuttled through time (that is what happened, right? I feel like I’m making it up.) " <br><br> No, what happened was Bruce Wayne got banished to pre-history (or something; not quite sure yet, but it has to do with time).<br>The dead body of a perfect clone of Bruce Wayne (I knew this was why we had the failed clone army created in Final Crisis (failed, in that none of them could cope with Bruce's history)) was found by Superman, and incorrectly confirmed to be Bruce Wayne because Superman is sloppy and not a detective. All other evidence of clones had been purged prior.

  • March 3, 2010, 11:46 a.m. CST

    The Kids excuse doesn't play for the DCU DVDs

    by superhero

    They are PG-13. Morrison's Earth 2 wasn't exactly rated R fare. No excuse for this except maybe they weren't allowed to follow the comic for some reason. Still, there are so many other ways they could go with this...

  • March 3, 2010, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Jeph Loeb created Loose Cannon (DC) & Red Hulk (Marvel)

    by Squashua

    I just discovered this fact when I was going through my collection and culling the shitty older books and found Loose Cannon #3. He was one of those Bloodlines characters.<br><br>Yeah, I know I killed the talkback 2 weeks ago when I mentioned this item, but it feels much more topical today.

  • March 3, 2010, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Crisis DVD is a reworked JL / JLU bridge story

    by Squashua

    I read elsewhere that the story behind the Crisis DVD was actually supposed to be the "movie" used to bridge between the "Justice League" and "Justice League Unlimited" cartoons. They revised the script to remove any heavy reliance, but I think they probably removed too much in the wrong places.

  • March 3, 2010, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Crossed review

    by gooseud

    your right, it was supposed to be posted and wasn't. However, I found it, here it is, ready? : "Crossed sucks the sweat off a dead man's choad. Fuck that title and all it stands for." Here is your issue #9 synopsis: the Crossed chain a 6 year old girl between two 24 wheelers (because 18 wheels just isnt enough, ya know), jump in the cab, turn on the keys, and stomp on the gas on both simultaneously. The mob of Crossed hanging around laugh and jack off. The end.

  • March 3, 2010, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Steampunk

    by gooseud

    there was a steampunk comic that came out a few weeks ago that was pretty cool......."Legends", maybe? Something like that? It was like Fables on acid, the art was bananas. I'm not even sure it was good, but it was certainly readable.

  • March 3, 2010, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Laserhead - Secret Warriors

    by Joenathan

    The last couple issues were great. Between Leviathan attacking, the heads of Hydra scrambling, Gorgon being awesome, Fury's other secret ops teams, AND his undermining of Daisy's command... Awesome.

  • March 3, 2010, 12:02 p.m. CST

    There's a new RoboCop comic?

    by Pumpkihn

    Awesome, it's a about time!

  • March 3, 2010, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Goose

    by Joenathan

    You forgot: Ennis makes dick joke

  • March 3, 2010, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Steampunk

    by Joenathan

    I tried to get into it, but quickly realised... Steampunk fans (Steampunkers?), they're just Ren Faire people in worse outfits

  • March 3, 2010, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Yeah, that was my guess...

    by Ambush Bug

    Rulk = Glenn Talbot<br><br> Rshulk = Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk manipulated by evil Doc Sampson.<br><br> The death of She-Hulk was more of a symbolic death for Jen simulated by Sampson and MODOK to have her let loose and go red. The dead body was probalby a LMD or something.

  • March 3, 2010, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Totally disagree on the Crisis review.

    by AnakinsDiapers

    I thought it was one of the better features. I'll put it up there with Wonder Woman, which i think could be filmed as a live action feature as is.<p> Super Womans "that'll cost you a rib" <crick> line made the video worth it alone. Owlmans' motivation was clear: twisted, but clear. And James Woods casting as Owlman was genius. <p> The Spectre short was a nice diversion, and i dug what they did with the entire 70's horror vibe, but it style over substance, and that's just fine, as it's just a short. <p> I totally enjoyed Crisis on Two Earths, and bought it after i downloaded it.

  • March 3, 2010, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Yo Bug!

    by Psynapse

    You're forgetting those couple of panels in the 'Code Red' storyline where Red Hulk and Red She-Hulk basically admit that they know each other. Betty (Red She-Hulk)tells Glenn (Red Hulk)he's 'dead to her now'.

  • March 3, 2010, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Then again....

    by Psynapse

    Jeph Loeb is the story runner so anything retarded could happen when those reveals finally do arrive.

  • March 3, 2010, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Why does Red She-Hulk have a sai then?

    by fiester

    Seems odd.

  • March 3, 2010, 1:28 p.m. CST

    @Ambush

    by cookepuss

    Jen is absolutely NOT dead. If you read the solicitations, the Jeniffer Walters She-Hulk will be appearing alongside Red She-Hulk & the new She-Hulk, Lyra, in May. <p> <p> To briefly quote the solicit:<p> <p> FALL OF THE HULKS: THE SAVAGE SHE-HULKS #3<p> The WORLD WAR HULKS battle lines are being drawn; whose side are the SHE-HULKS on? Will the Sensational, Savage, and Red She-Hulks choose their allies wisely, or will the list of Marvel’s Gamma-Girded Girls go from THREE…to NONE?<p> <p> Clearly, it mentions all 3. Now, unless Jen is bonkers, which seems unlikely, my bet is: <p> <p> Rulk = Glenn<p> Rshulk = Betty<p> <p> It's already been suggested that, whomever Red She-Hulk really is, she already has a prior history with Red Hulk. Loeb alluded to this connection in her intro issues. The connection likely also seemed romantic. Given Talbot's preexisting connection with Betty and Jen's lack thereof, Betty seems more likely.<p> <p> Plus, with Jen's 30th anniversary looming and PAD writing that, it seems less likely that they'd tamper with her character so deeply. After all, She-Hulk is still one of Stan Lee's later creations. Loeb may not respect characters much, but even he has his boundaries.<p> <p> As far as Dark Wolverine goes.... Daken, Wolverine's 70 year old douchey bisexual son, took over the book over a year ago. Dark Wolverine is just a retitled Wolverine. <p> <p> Wolverine, the book, is just a renumbering of the old series. Were it to return to the original numbering, Dark Wolverine would likely be on issue #272. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised to see Marvel renumbering the book back to its original levels in 2 years, as it approaches its 300th issue.<p> <p> In terms of the Crisis DVD.... Not bad. Pretty much what I was expecting. I mean, c'mon. If you've read the comics then you know what type of guido Sopranos wannabes the Crime Syndicate characters are. They're a bunch of super powerful, but super obnoxious losers. They're actually even more annoying that the likes of Bat-Mite or the Wonder Twins. HOWEVER, if you can get over the fact that Ultraman is essentially a bastardized De Niro / Tony Soprano ripoff and everybody else is his underling then the DVD isn't so bad.<p> <p> James Woods & Gina Tores did freakin' bang up jobs as Owlman & Superwoman. <p> <p> I thought that they could've made it a little more clear that Superwoman was supposed to be Wonder Woman's counterpart though. The fact that she was dressed like the other Marvel Family characters leads you to believe that she's Mary Marvel. However, if you've read the comic, you know that this is not the case. DC also complicated the issue by bringing on that other "made man" Amazon to fight Diana. I pretty much assumed that, even though the Amazon looked more like Diana, she was actually Hippolyta or Donna Troy.<p> <p> The voice casting didn't help either. It was a great touch to have the other Earth counterparts have different voice actors. It just complicates things when trying to discern if these are literal counterparts or spiritual.<p> <p> It also would've been nice if we could've known for sure that this Flash was Wally and not Barry or Bart.<p> <p> Dwayne McDuffy did a good job of adapting his old story idea. However, he did an awful job if bringing in the DC uninitiated. These characters need better introductions. What this movie essentially was was a 70 minute slugfest. Not such a bad thing, but when you're paying $20-$30 for the DVD/Blu-Ray..... You kinda want more for your money.

  • March 3, 2010, 1:30 p.m. CST

    I also enjoyed Crisis on Two Earths

    by fiester

    I watched it OnDemand, so it did not include the Spectre short alas, but it was a cool little story with interesting action sequences and some nice voice acting. It was far superior to the Planet Hulk animated film by the Marvel people. DC's animated properties always seem far superior in all respect to the Marvel offerings.

  • March 3, 2010, 1:30 p.m. CST

    The Spectre short....

    by cookepuss

    AMAZING!!! I loved it. There was a very Tarantino sort of Grindhouse feel to it. I would've loved to have seen that developed into a full DVD instead.<p> <p> I hope that DC continues that tradition of short films. I'd love to see characters like Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, the Question, or maybe even Adam Strange get the same sort of treatment.

  • March 3, 2010, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Not all of Marvel's short are bad

    by cookepuss

    They just stray off the beaten path a bit much, whereas DC tends to be more faithful. Marvel kinda uses the DVDs as test labs for later film stuff. <p> <p> The Dr Strange, Ultimates, & Next Avengers DVDs were decent. The Wolverine one wasn't bad, albeit a bit uneven. The Iron Man one sucked ass and the Planet Hulk one left me wanting as I was looking forward to seeing the destruction of Sakaar and maybe a hint of Skaar.

  • March 3, 2010, 1:59 p.m. CST

    I'm still waiting for a faithfaully adapted Comic Cartoon

    by SirGaryColeman

    Why can't they make this happen? They have the luxury of it appealing solely to nerds, meaning they don't have to mainstream it up for a big, live-action audience. Instead, they're letting their egos get in the way - as if their stories are going to be better than what made these characters icons for nerds everywhere. I consider both the Marvel and DC recent movies a tease. High quality animation, PG13 violence (some may even say R), but NO storyline! Please, somebody make one of these things with a decent plot (try lifting it straight from one of the better comicbooks maybe?) It's already been written and storyboarded - go animate it. That's what the Japanese do with their comicbook to animation adaptations and they excel in this department.

  • March 3, 2010, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Douche...

    by Bootskin

    You do know that Knight & Squire are actual DC characters, not imported from across the pond, yes? They're a nod to an old "Batmen of All Nations" story, from Batman #215. Knight and Squire were the English versions, and the modern Knight is the former Squire all grown up with his own sidekick. He first met them in Batman #62.

  • March 3, 2010, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Marvel animation

    by Joenathan

    The Hulk Vs DVD was great

  • March 3, 2010, 2:38 p.m. CST

    SirGaryColeman is right!

    by Joenathan

    Pay attention Marvel!

  • March 3, 2010, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Bootskin

    by optimous_douche

    I did know that, sorry if it came across as giving Morrison credit for them.<p> Still hate them though. I'm just not a silver age guy, I grew up in the modern age.<P> I appreciate everything that was done during the time period for the sheer inventiveness, it just doesn't resonate with me.<p> It all just seems...silly.

  • March 3, 2010, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Planet Hulk...

    by AnakinsDiapers

    ..was the best marvel animation produced thus far, but that's not saying much. The Hulk vs was uneven at best. Hulk vs Thor was trash and Hulk vs Wolverine was a fun diversion but it suffered from the same things both videos suffered from: it wasn't about the Hulk. The Hulk was a guest star in his own vid both times. The titles should have been Thor vs Hulk and Wolverine vs Hulk. Planet Hulk suffers from the same thing. I thought the comic was fun, but in a monthly periodical it's fine to diverge and do something unrelated to ones regular continuity and supporting cast. The problem with Planet Hulk and the Hulk vs as an animated endeavor, is that you're not presenting the Hulks world, his supporting cast, nor his villains. You're not showing the audience why the Hulk is an enduring character with a long history of his own. You're not really delving into the Hulk/Banner pyschology or anything else character related. <p> For a company that prides itself with being the first to establish truly human characters, with human problems, clay feet and all, it's a shame to see their animated films focus on style over substance.<p> Whenever the Black Panther finally debuts, i really hope they employed writers who not only have the skill and knowledge, but the desire to create something that's more than flash.

  • March 3, 2010, 3:51 p.m. CST

    The Hulk was a guest star because...

    by Joenathan

    He's not that interesting of a character. He's better as a problem

  • March 3, 2010, 3:57 p.m. CST

    I did like the Wonder Woman DVD...

    by superhero

    'Cause it had a, y'know,story with characterization.

  • March 3, 2010, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Simpsons Comics have been awesome...

    by billyhitchcock1

    ...for almost 20 years. It's a shame they get overlooked so much in the comic world but reading them really is like watching an episode just because we know the characters so well. they also can be a bit more risky in the comics too which adds a few more adult laughs to the proceedings. i have every issue!

  • March 3, 2010, 4:05 p.m. CST

    joenathan...

    by AnakinsDiapers

    Peter david doesn't agree. He showed his disagreement by writing the Hulk for over a decade and being hailed as having writen one of the all time character defining runs. Greg Pak is on the trail of doing the same with his handling of Banner.

  • March 3, 2010, 4:19 p.m. CST

    I've said forever.....

    by gooseud

    that the Peter David Hulk run is one of the all time awesome runs ever. You could put that run out today, untouched, and it would be a best seller. The bachelor party issue, Future Imperfect, all that, solid gold.

  • March 3, 2010, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Sorry

    by Joenathan

    But the only way to make the Hulk more interesting is to pull crazy shit out of your ass. Some of it is cool, sure, but it's only cool because of the story itself. Not because of Hulk. In order for Hulk to approach "awesome" you have to fundamentally shift him away from his core characterization. MAke him smart, make him a monster, make him a gladiator... whatever... it's all just random craziness that a writer turns to because, as awesome as it is, you can only drop the crazed monster Hulk on a city for Superheroes to fight so often.

  • March 3, 2010, 4:38 p.m. CST

    The Wonder Woman DVD

    by Joenathan

    was surprisingly good.

  • March 3, 2010, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Soory Joenathan...

    by AnakinsDiapers

    ..but your reasoning is based on the suppostion that the Hulk's main character trait should be stupid and rampaging, and anything else isn't the "true" Hulk, but some crazy stunt. As the first appearance of the Hulk featured a grey, talking one, your patently wrong. That's not even mentioning the obvious truth that the history of comic characters are a mutable thing, and it's up to the longevity of the changes to decide whether or not the changes and additions were "legitimate". What, the Batman i've been reading all of my life is just a stunt because because the original Batman Bob Kane created belly shot thugs and threw them off rooftops? <p> No, Peter David added depth to the Bruce Banner by turning his affliction into a phychological one because of his personal issues and the child abuse he suffered. He tied the grey hulk, green hulk, and Bruce together into a gestalt of waring personalities, and it was brilliant. Add to that the wealth of villains unigue to the Hulk, and his supporting cast and what you have is a lot of potential story ideas and drama that has nothing at all to do with any other marvel characters. He doesn't need Wolverine to be successful, the Hulk just needs writers willing to right for subatance over style. Hulk smash is just easier to do.

  • March 3, 2010, 5:50 p.m. CST

    I agree, Crisis is a mess. Grant's was perfect

    by the Green Gargantua

    and they should have stuck to it, none of the changes were necessary.

  • March 3, 2010, 6:23 p.m. CST

    So much agreeing with Joe...

    by Homer Sexual

    The Wonder Woman DVD is excellent. Maybe a little romance heavy, but super well done! <p> Hulk is an intrinsically boring character. I say that as someone who is buying a lot of Hulk books at the moment. But he's just.not.that.interesting. And yes, crazy shit (like Rulk) makes him interesting. She-Hulk is good because she has a personality. <p> Bruce Banner is a big whiny baby. I re-read some of the old David stuff recently, and frankly I didn't think it was all that. <p> "Peter David added depth to the Bruce Banner by turning his affliction into a phychological one because of his personal issues and the child abuse he suffered" well, if that floats your boat I can only say we have very different ideas of what makes a comic book entertaining. <p> OMG! Someone said the Ultimates cartoon was decent. Hilarious! <p> I also have all the Simpsons comics. Love them, but why is this review from a previous issue. The current one is junk by Sergio Aragones and I'm kicking myself for not paying more attention before I bought it. The Simpsons and Futurama comics both rock. <p> But why jump on the hater train about the show? I still like it. I think someone should make an SNL comic so a reviewer can say how awesome the comic is but the show itself has sucked for many years.

  • March 3, 2010, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Is It Possible To Get Just THE SPECTRE Short?

    by LaserPants

    Like... offa the innernets? I really love the DC animations in general, especially JLU, but I think these 70 minute jobbies don't leave enough room for character and plot development. Even when they're really good they always seemed rushed, you know what I mean? I wish they would start ratcheting them up to 90 minutes, 2 hours (or more).

  • March 3, 2010, 6:58 p.m. CST

    opinions are like ass holes....

    by AnakinsDiapers

    ...everyones got one. If anyone thinks the Hulks boring, that's their perogative. The point is, there is 40 plus years of Hulk stories, characters and plot points to mine, and their is no reason to push Hulk films by taking the easy road by relying on the supporting cast, and plot points of other heroes or seperating him from his own mythology like planet Hulk did.<p> I'm confident enough to believe i'm not the only one who actually likes the character. I'm sure there are professional writers out there who do as well.

  • March 3, 2010, 8:19 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I can't stand Daken, either.

    by rabidfnark

    I can't decide if he's actually bisexual or just using that as another 'bait' for the people around him, though. You seem to think the latter, which makes sense when you realize that every time he leans toward the homosexual side of that, he either beats the shit out of the guy he was 'into', or does something equally violent and despicable. Of course he could just be a bisexual sociopath who has trouble processing those feelings (maybe I'm giving Marvel too much credit with that). Either way, his sexuality has nothing to do with my dislike of him, the dude's just a prick. And no, Wolverine didn't need a kid. Lastly, are we supposed to expect some kind of 'redemption' for this dick? Because they're digging themselves deeper every issue, and we don't need another antihero.

  • March 3, 2010, 9:57 p.m. CST

    Ass-kicking Inhumans!!!

    by Johnny Ahab

    Thanks for giving some love to the DnA revamped Inhumans – and I’m sad to see that no one else on the boards seems to be reading this. I’ve always loved these freaks of the Marvel Universe, but rarely were they given anything interesting to do. They’d show up as guest-stars, then disappear for years on end, cuz no one knew how to mine their potential (except for the all-too-brief Marvel Knights series). But thanks to DnA for blasting them off into space to fight Skrulls, Vulcan, and now themselves, they have become way cool. Black Bolt was always a huge weenie, always tormented about using his power – and in War of Kings, he FINALLY let loose and showed what a bad-ass he could be. LOVE the icy turn with Medusa, and the artists have totally hotted her up (especially in this issue). LOVED how I got sucked in with Maximus playing good – but then revealing his true colors (for the millionth time - but this time, it seemed like an actual surprise). Yes, and the twist at the end of this issue totally sucker-punched me. Finally, the Inhumans are kicking ass all over the universe, and it is a hell of a fun ride! Don’t let it end, Marvel!!!

  • March 4, 2010, 12:47 a.m. CST

    WHOEVER SAYS CROSSED IS GARBAGE

    by mynamesdan

    well, they haven't read it have they. dickheads.

  • March 4, 2010, 4:30 a.m. CST

    The Hulk

    by hst666

    The dumb hulk was always boring. It was OK in the late 70s when I was still single digits, but quickly became boring.<p><p>The original 6 issues in the early 60s and the very early Tales to Astonish shorts (as well as his appearances in FF and Avengers were great because he was much more Mr. Hyde like. <p><p>The PAD run was great because it put the hulk through changes. First, Mr. Fixit was the original incarnation back again and that was fun for awhile. Then the bestial hulk would rear his head occasionally. Then, PAD addressed one major distinction between the Hulk and every other gamma ray created creature - Banner had MPD. However, you feel about the abuse, I thought this part was brilliant. Then he was the integrated Hulk for awhile. <p><p>As long as the Hulk has the at least a brutish intelligence, he is an interesting character.

  • March 4, 2010, 7:03 a.m. CST

    They havent read it? Really?

    by gooseud

    Havent read the diner scene in issue zero? Or maybe your speaking of the scene recently where they read the soldier's diary about how they killed the nuclear scientists to prevent reactor secrets from falling into the hands of the Crossed? Or when they converted the kid? Or the leader is the retard guy who carries the horse dick? Or the jerk off session on the bullets so they have the Crossed poison on them? Is that the book you are referring to? It is? oh great, well then allow me: its exploitative garbage. It both sucks and blows at the same time, which should be anatomically impossible.

  • March 4, 2010, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Johnny Ahab, you speak truth

    by gooseud

    This is coming from the lone Inhumans skeptic on this board, but even I must admit that series is kicking some ass. And yeah, also painful to admit coming from a 34 year old dude who has read comics for 30 years and should be over this type of thing by now, but.......yeah, even I had to do the double take at that pic of Medusa in the most recent Inhumans. I might even have triple taked. Wow.

  • March 4, 2010, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Strong points

    by Powerring

    Othe than spectre: - Owlman was the ultimate sociopath "it doesn't matter" no conscious at all. - Superwoman "that will cost you a rib" (Batman's voice was kind of demure in this) The use of Flash's alternate (manipulation by Batman). The depiction of the multiverse.

  • March 4, 2010, 8:04 a.m. CST

    I like Daken BECAUSE he's a prick

    by rev_skarekroe

    I'm not a big fan of giving characters kids for no good reason, but at least Daken isn't just a younger version of Logan. He's his own man. And that man is a total dickhead.

  • March 4, 2010, 8:20 a.m. CST

    crisis on two earths fucking rocked

    by spider_neil

    the review is talking shit.

  • March 4, 2010, 9:15 a.m. CST

    don't get the hate for superman/batman

    by MariusXe

    the movie that is. But come to think of it. I don't get the hate for the comics either. Both are just fun. Nothing more nothing less. Not everything has to be deep and edgy. sometimes I just like my superhero stuff fun and action oriented. I don't search for Character development in a 70 minutes movie. I just want to see the characters from the comics I love and have a good time watching them. superman batman was great because of the interaction between the two icons and because of the many cameos by minor dc characters. i only missed robin and nightwing.

  • March 4, 2010, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Sorry again

    by Joenathan

    Hulk is one note, being abused as a child doesn't add excitement, it doesn't add motivation either. You know why? Because he wasn't beaten by his dad and then hulked out. No, he was beaten by his dad, became a fucking super scientist and then was irradiated by a gamma bomb while trying to save someone's life... THEN he hulked out. The childhood trauma is just so much superfulous window dressing. <br><br>And don't get me wrong, I'm not objecting to changes in the character (in fact I recognize that they are a god damn nessecity) what I'm saying is that the Hulk can't sustain any one interation, he wears them out because he is one note and boring and then the writer is forced to come up with more crazy shit... which he then wears out. Look around you... name another character who has had as many drastic core changes to its core characterization and story? There's no one who is shifted around so drastically, so often.<br><br>Hulk is only good when he is focing heroes to react.

  • March 4, 2010, 9:57 a.m. CST

    I read Crossed too

    by Joenathan

    It's a mean, stupid little retard of a comic made for mean, stupid little retards by a mean, stupid little retard.

  • March 4, 2010, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Daken

    by Joenathan

    I like Daken, I think he can become a good opposite of wolverine, better than Sabertooth, especially at this point. He has better motivation, at least. His first few issues with the Fantastic Four and fucking with Osborne? IT was good stuff.

  • March 4, 2010, 11:18 a.m. CST

    The Spectre was good, but...

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    They made Jim Corrigan WAY too cliché. It was like the character had read too many Ray Chandler and Mike Hammer detective novels and was stuck in "corny film gumshoe" mode, while the rest of the world was in the present day.<p>Maybe, because he's dead, the writers WANTED him to stand out like that, but his dialouge seemed too cornball even for someone from the 40s or 50s.<p>"You're good, kid. Your daddy shoulda put you in one of his movies... You're not goin' anywhere, baby." Great voice work by the always great Gary Cole, though.<p>The best part about the short is the fact that The Spectre has ZERO interest in turning over the guilty to the police. His only interest is in serving justice and retribution HIMSELF. And in pretty ironic — but effective — ways, too. You can download the AVI file of the short from the following address: http://tinyurl.com/ygnr7lu

  • March 4, 2010, 11:21 a.m. CST

    "core changes"..

    by AnakinsDiapers

    "name another character who has had as many drastic core changes to its core characterization and story?" <p> Let's see - Superman, Batman, Hawkman, Thor, hell, we can count Spider-Man as well now. <p> but what the hell is "core characterization" anyway? In the context i think you're describing the Hulk has never changed his core characterization. He's been put into bizarre situations like every other comic superhero worth the name, but all the changes you describe haven't changed the core of what the Hulk is about: repressed rage. Peter david just reconciled what past writers did into a cohesive narrative. kinda like what Grant Morrison did with all-Star Superman and is doing with Batman; embrassing the past, as hokey as some of it is, modernizing it, and creating a cohesive mythology out of it. The Hulk is no differnt. At his core, rage and how he deals with it has been the constant, everything else is just a means to an end, and no different than electric Superman.

  • March 4, 2010, 11:32 a.m. CST

    I'll give you Hawkman...

    by Joenathan

    Of course... he's another pretty lame character that can't sustain himself, but everyone else has been able to maintain their core for decades. Superman is still Clark at the Daily Planet. Spider-man is still a down on his luck guy. Hulk is a fucking space gladiator...

  • March 4, 2010, 11:35 a.m. CST

    See, you might as well have said...

    by AnakinsDiapers

    ..."superman is an electric space god". Where exactly is your disconnect? Bruce Banner is still the Hulk, the same as Clark Kent is still Superman...Oh, and Superman was a fucking space gladiator too y'know.

  • March 4, 2010, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Hawkman lame? Not even.

    by Psynapse

    Since Geoff Johns revitalized his core concept he is quite the badass.

  • March 4, 2010, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Inhumans...

    by maxwell's hammer

    I've always known about them, but became an actual fan back during the 'Son of M' mini-series, which I thought would be about Quicksilver, and then ended up heavily featuring Black Bolt and the gang. I've bought most of the stuff centered around them ever since.

  • March 4, 2010, 12:07 p.m. CST

    No! More agreement!

    by Homer Sexual

    I like Daken as well. Although he doesn't look anything like Wolverine and I can't believe he can pretned to be Logan, I likehim. I know him from Origins, and he was an interesting character. X-23 is not that interesting. Just a girl with claws.

  • March 4, 2010, 4:42 p.m. CST

    The Hulk is always the same...

    by Joenathan

    in the ads and shows and posters, etc: A big, green guy with torn purple pants, the monster and outcast, but when was the last time he was actually that guy? Years ago. Because they keep switching out, sending him to candy land, making him an Emporer, disguising him as a substitute kindegarten teacher, etc, etc. It's been forever since he was the monster and the outcast BECAUSE... it's one note... Superman was blue guy for like a minute compared to the amount of time Hulk was wearing a three piece suit...

  • March 4, 2010, 4:45 p.m. CST

    I like Hawkman...

    by Joenathan

    but I figured out a while ago, it was only the idea of Hawkman, in reality, he's kind of dumb

  • March 4, 2010, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Homer

    by Joenathan

    Daken isn't pretending to be Logan, he's just going by the name: Wolverine. He's not trying to fool anyone who ACTUALLY knows Wolverine, he's just wearing a recognizable costume for PR's sake.

  • March 4, 2010, 5:57 p.m. CST

    The Hulk is the same in other mediums simply..

    by AnakinsDiapers

    ..because the general audience thinks of lou ferigno when they think of the Hulk, and the powers that be outside of comics want to capitalize on that instead of going thru the trouble of indoctrinating people in Hulks mythology.<p> That's it. Period.<p> And the Hulks always an outcast. When he get's a reprive everyone knows it isn't going to last either from outside forces or him handicapping himself in some way. So again, he's always "that guy".

  • March 4, 2010, 6:04 p.m. CST

    The Hulks entire nature...

    by AnakinsDiapers

    ..is that of the miunderstood outcast/monster. You're trying to disparage the character for not having a stable environment like a Daily Planet or Daily Bugle or Gotham City to call "homebase" when the character was never set up like that. If anyone is put off by that, that's their bag, but that's no statement about the character itself.<p> hey, Superman's just spent a year of planet on New Krypton...such a boring character. Let's not even go into Wolverine and his ever expanding past That Wolverine, so boring.

  • March 4, 2010, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Another dissenter on Crisis

    by The Great One

    Count me as one who enjoyed the heck out of both Crisis on Two Earths and Planet Hulk. I thought they were well animated, written and acted. Sam Liu is a pretty good director and is a name I hope people come to speak of eventually alongside Bruce Timm's someday in regards to comic-related movies.

  • March 4, 2010, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Nothing wrong with some disagreement...

    by rabidfnark

    I think it's healthy. But let me clarify: I can't stand the character in terms of the way he handles himself, his boorish attitude, his unnecessarily cruel nature, and how there is practically nothing of his father in him, but I do find him intriguing. He's not poorly written or conceived (well...you know what I mean). I actually liked his story about the old woman, but it only reinforced my feelings about him. And I think Marvel already has enough characters to fill the anti-hero quota (especially considering how they've currently put every hero they have in that type of role).

  • March 4, 2010, 8:26 p.m. CST

    The only DC Animated film I genuinely dislike...

    by rabidfnark

    is Green Lantern: First Flight (Although they're all too short). It just felt hollow to me, like there wasn't enough story, and not enough action to cover that up.

  • March 5, 2010, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Hulk

    by Joenathan

    Hey, you enjoy the one note and random crazy shit, good for you. I find him boring. To me, he's a character without dimension good for smash and smash alone

Top Talkbacks