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I am – Hercules!!
Inspired by Harry’s, Father Geek’s, Capone’s and the other critics' best-of-2009 lists, I’m experimenting again -- in addition to my usual monthly list of series season premieres -- with a list of theatrical features I think may be new to cable in March. (If I’m missing anything, be sure to point it out. I’m particularly keen not to miss the documentaries and indie films when they roll around. Did I miss “Brothers Bloom”? What about “Drag Me To Hell”?) I threw in the scores from Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic to help sort out movies viewers might be keen to pursue. I thought a list like this would be useful for a couple of obvious reasons. I’ve grown paranoid about missing movies I’ve been meaning to see, and not every movie sticks around forever uncensored on pay-cable. Also? Say you’ve been waiting to see “Afghan Star” but subscribe to Showtime (and/or Starz) but not HBO. Now that you know “Afghan Star” is headed to HBO you can add “Afghan Star” to your Netflix queue, or snag it off pay-per-view, or just purchase your own DVD or Blu-ray copy. (I’ve linked each movie title to an Amazon page so you can read more about it and/or order it.) I’ve arranged the titles chronologically by cable premiere date to make it most useful to people with DVRs:

Monsters Vs. Aliens RT: 72 MC: 56 HBO HD March 13

The Ugly Truth RT: 14 MC: 28 Starz HD March 13

Afghan Star RT: 100 MC: 78 HBO HD March 18

Fighting RT: 41 MC: 61 Cinemax HD March 20

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past RT: 27 MC: 34 HBO HD March 20

Angels & Demons RT: 36 MC: 48 Starz HD March 27

X-Men Origins: Wolverine RT: 37 MC: 43 Cinemax HD March 27

Whatever Works RT: 47 MC: 45 Starz HD March 29

Paper Heart RT: 60 MC: 54 Starz HD March 31 Find the list of February 2010 premieres here.
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Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 28, 2010, 5:40 p.m. CST

    First ?!

    by clever

    Great - now I know when a bunch of shit movies are coming out.... although Paper Heart looks interesting.

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 5:49 p.m. CST

    Keep this coming'

    by jimbojones123

    I really dig watching what I would never pay $$ to see in theaters

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 6:02 p.m. CST

    "I’ve grown paranoid about missing movies I’ve been meaning to s

    by Ryanbraun14

    "I’ve grown paranoid about missing movies I’ve been meaning to see,"<br><br>Howabout applying that mentality to TV shows... considering, well, you do the TV part aicn...

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Ghosts of Girlfriends Past > wolverine

    by ORIONgods

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 7:31 p.m. CST

    Absolutely Do This Every Month

    by Crow3711

    I would love to know what is coming up on HBO and Starz every month, and add Showtime if you could please. That would complete it. Great idea. Pretty crap picks this month though, except maybe Whatever Works

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 7:41 p.m. CST

    Indy 4 and Iron Man?

    by MaxCalifornia.

    How come Indy 4 and Iron Man haven't shown on ANY cable channel yet, and we're coming up to TWO years since they were released? We've already gotten some of LAST summer's movies like Pelham 123, so how does that happen?

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 7:53 p.m. CST


    by Hercules

    Iron Man and Star Trek are Paramount, and I don't think Paramount currently has a deal with any of the three big pay-TV services. Viacom/Paramount did recently launch its own new pay channel called Epix, but I don't think it's on any of the major cable or satellite systems yet.

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 7:57 p.m. CST


    by Hercules

    I forbid you from reading my column.

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 8:40 p.m. CST

    Very cool list....

    by jaysin420

    and Epix is on Verizon now but its more expensive than other movie channels. It seems like they get every movie months ahead of the others but I'm not sure how it works. IM was on during the free preview 2 months ago.

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 9:15 p.m. CST

    Indy 4 and Iron Man played in canada

    by Bouncy X

    so its odd they apparently haven't in america. our movie channel plays all the major summer movies the following summer or near then.

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 9:38 p.m. CST


    by Ryanbraun14

    Herc -- i can't believe after all i've said about you, THIS, got a response... thing is, I've asked politely on several occasions 1) what did you think about the justice society episode of smallville? i did not care even a little if you hated it--and hell, if you did hate it, THATS a column i'd like to read... same as if you liked it... whatever. the other 2) is this your full time job? a yes or no would be ok, but i'm very interested with what your primary job would be--thing is, if you answer this question with a 'NO' then I'd stop the snide remarks that i throw your way. Again, even without knowing what your real job is, i'd respect you a TON more because it would explain so much, and i wouldn't be confused anymore about why you don't give stuff you're not already watching a chance...

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 10:22 p.m. CST

    Thanks Herc

    by MaxCalifornia.

    Interesting info. Still haven't seen Iron Man. If it doesn't make it to cable by the time the sequel is out, I guess I'll hit the Redbox for 99 cents, LOL.

  • Feb. 28, 2010, 10:46 p.m. CST

    This is actually pretty cool

    by kesoze4

    Biggest frustration with Comcast right now isn't their service -- they've got seemingly 12,000 movies and tv shows on their OnDemand service -- but rather that I can't find anything, and don't even really know what to look for beyond the obvious. Something like this saying "X and Y flicks are on HBO this month, you should check them out" would be great.

  • March 1, 2010, 12:48 a.m. CST

    I DO love Michael Cera, don't get me wrong...

    by TheSeeker7

    but most of his critics, I can't say they're wrong, in that he is basically playing the exact same kid in EVERY MOVIE. Granted I've not seen Paper Heart yet, but I'm going out on a limb and guessing it's not a huge departure. 'course, I'm also just jealous he got to buddy around with the goddess Kat Dennings for a whole fuckin' movie.

  • March 1, 2010, 2:01 a.m. CST

    Why do we get these earlier in Canada?

    by ndally

    Fuck Paramount movies debut on TMN in Canada weird that they don't in the USA. We got Indy 4 and Iron Man last year and star trek in April. Plus besides X-Men and Angels and Demons these movies have already played on our TMN network a month or so ago. Weird? I thought we always got the shaft as far as movie premieres go.

  • March 1, 2010, 11:01 a.m. CST

    God, I hated Wolverine

    by Judge Briggs

    What a horrible, what is wrong with Hollywood making comics movie!

  • March 1, 2010, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Why is nothing good coming to HBO?

    by ChocolateJeebus

    It's the only "Premium" channel I get (can afford), I assume it's because we're in the middle of FEB-March and no good movies came out a year ago. Also HBO is slacking in their movie grabs, they actually premiered the one star "12 Rounds" in their Big-Deal Saturady night slot a few weeks back. Sad. Their originals are still good though.

  • March 2, 2010, 2:37 p.m. CST

    "Why is nothing good coming to HBO?"

    by jim

    You mean other than The Pacific and A Game of Thrones?