Cool News
Here's a fun read for a lazy Sunday morning! The Dude on The Dude! Jeff "The Dude" Dowd serenades Jeff Bridges!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Not a lot of news hits on Sundays, but I figured there are enough of you checking back to see if there's anything a movie fan can sink his or her teeth in to that I owed a link to an interesting article.
Jeff "The Dude" Dowd is one element of Jeff Bridges' character in the Coens' THE BIG LEBOWSKI, just as John Milius is one element to John Goodman's Walter character. Both of those characters are their own, but were inspired by real life players in the lives of the Brothers Coen.
I've had the good fortune to speak with Jeff Dowd a few times. The Dude is a sales agent, cheerleader and sometimes producer of indie film and has been active as long as I've been attending festivals, kind of the opposite of Bridges' Jeffrey Lebowski, but if you ever have the chance to meet The Dude in person you'll see small elements, be it body language or something more subtle, that made it into one of the Coen Bros' best films.
Now that Bridges is the favorite for Best Actor at this year's Academy Awards it looks like Dowd has written what could be described as a love letter to Bridges and his career.
I love Bridges as an actor and I think he's great in CRAZY HEART, even if I think the picture itself loses a lot of steam around the middle. While I'm just okay on the film, it's one of those performances (and history of performances) where I'm okay if Bridges takes the award.
Check out The Dude's story at the LA Times Blog:
CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE LA TIMES SITE AND READ THE DUDE LOVE UP (you mean coitus?) ON JEFF BRIDGES!
While we're at it, why not head over to Bridges' own site and check out some of his Behind the Scenes photography? The man is an avid photographer and I hear he gives out books of his pictures to the cast and crew as wrap gifts. I'd LOVE to see his Lebowski book.
On his site he has Crazy Heart, The Amateurs and Iron Man... You can see all three by clicking here or if all you care about is the big metal dude, his Iron Man photography is here.
Not bad for a quiet Sunday morning, yeah? Enjoy!
-Quint
quint@aintitcool.com
Follow Me On Twitter
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I'll definitely check this out...
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Crazy Heart. Bridges was the best thing in the movie no question. just cause he is favourite doesnt mean he will win the oscar next week. I will be delighted of course for him. He is outstanding in nearly everything. I was watching that scene with Kenny Rogers's song I just dropped in over and over. I loved that scene with him and downey junior in iron man, where he takes Iron mans heart out. I know that some talkbackers didnt like that film at all. but i thought his perfromance was very good indeed. sometime I come on to this site and all I get is Statler and Waldorf vibe. For every one person who says a movie is great the rest will say a movie is terrible.
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Feb 28, 2010 7:18:38 AM CST
" The Dude is a sales agent, cheerleader and sometimes producer
by seppukudkurosawa
Doesn't sound like the laziest person in L.A. and therefore the planet to me. In fact, that's one tiny little detail that kind of took me out of the movie a little- when it boils down to it, there are tons of people way lazier than the Dude. The movie starts out with him shopping in the supermarket, well think about all the people who do their food shopping online or bribe small Mexican boys to do their shopping for them? Way lazier.
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You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie......
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Jeff Bridges brings class to everything he's been in.
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In the parlence of our time.
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i'm so cool
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And now we're privy to it. As for Dowd, well, he's gotta feed the monkey, y'know?
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when you fuck a stranger in the ass.
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A movie I can quote to death in real life. Great article by Dowd.
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I've just spent 2 hours trimming and shapping mine so that one is perfectly symetrical with the other.
They were long to begin with, now their short because I couldnt stop screwing around with them to the point where they were getting shorter and shorter.
Does anyone else have this issue, this obsession with their sideburns?
Dracula: Dead and loving it is on tv right now, it's quite crap isn't it! I can't stop thinking abt my sideburns! -
I just got a thousand dollars out the cash machine.
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Shut the fuck up, Donny.
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... he fixes the cable?
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THere was something missing in Crazy Heart, though I disagree that it "sagged in the middle." I think perhaps there actually needed to be more of the Jeff & Colin dynamic and less of the Jeff & Maggie. The notion of a country singer who's been eclipsed by his protege and has now resorted to selling his songs to get them heard should have been explored in more detail. The last song Bad wrote was supposedly his best, yet he didn't seem to really agonize over giving it away. I fucking hate country music, yet I really enjoyed this movie and even the songs that Bridges sang. This is definitely his career-best performance. Fully living-in this role and inhabiting the character. The writing coulda been tightened up a bit, though. I'd love to be able to buy Bridges photo books. Iron Man and Lebowski had some great pictures.Going to see Two Gentlemen of Lebowski in New York next month! "A pox upon't, let us play at nine pins!"
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Good movie because of Jeff Bridges. He IS the movie. Fantastic performance in every respect--very authentic and lived-in, full of perfect grace notes, as worth of a Best Actor Oscar as any work this year. Bad Blake just felt real as Bridges played him. The romance was the only real flaw because of Maggie Gyllenhall. While her acting was decent, and I don't find her particularly beautiful, she just seemed too well-preseved to fall for a crumbling, self-destructive sad sack like that. Sure, he had charm, but she wasn't right in the role. I guess she had to be young enough to believably have a four-year-old, but I think she was miscast. It didn't ruin the film for me, just weakened it. But Bridges' performance makes it worth watching in the end.
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...but it sure smells good!
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And he has one of the all-time great fucking heads of hair.
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Feb 28, 2010 11:10:05 AM CST
I've met Jeff Dowd, and he's not really like the "Dude"
by backrivercatfish
Hes got some pretty good stories though.
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If you want an insight into Jeff Bridges he did a documentary a few years back called Big City Dick: Richard Peterson's First Movie. I saw it at the SBFF and it's great. He tells a wicked story of how he met this autistic street musician who was obsessed with his dad's Sea Hunt tv show back in the 50's. They even reunite in the end to play some tunes on the piano when JB was shooting Sea Biscuit. Check it out if you can.
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There was a feature on the 10th anniversary Lebowski DVD that had Bridges go through his whole photography book from the set of the movie. Pretty cool, but that's just like... my opinion, man.
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Imagine that character without Bridges bringing it to life. Here's hoping the combo of Rockwell and Rourke can adequately replace him.
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Sundays just aren't the same
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..um, appetite for new scripts. Get your mind out of the gutter!
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That is.... The Two Gentlemen of Lebowski
http://runleiarun.com/lebowski/
Totally freaking awesome.
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The actual NY performance is here:
http://www.dm-theatrics.com/ -
...his photography says it all about what a class act he is.
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Damn we'll never see the like again.
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...I have a friend that worked for him. Bridges, a former hero of mine, is known for talking about what a great family he has. And within that same day ask his aides to hire him female escorts. This comes from a very valid source that worked with him. It's really sad. I thought he was a good, stand-up guy. He's not sadly.
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with Todd Bridges, I do it all the time.
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Jeff Bridges hooking up with a bunch of escorts only makes me think he's even cooler. And believe me, I didn't think that was possible.
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you'll forgive me if I don't take at face value, a ridiculous claim from someone who named themselves after a character in Back to the Future, and yet couldn't manage to spell his name correctly.what happened, was Martie Macfleigh taken?
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weird i havent seen any doosher talkbacker talking about how lebowski is overrated or that jeff bridges was just playin himself or some stupid shit lk that
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I hadn't seen Bridges' album for Crazy Heart. Thanks for the link, Quint.
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One of the finer slap downs I have seen in recent years on a TB. Well played, Sir. Well played.
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I went to a screening of "The Big Lebowski" at the Count Baise Theater in Red Bank, NJ. Jeff Dowd introduced the movie and did a Q&A after it. Having seen "Lebowski" countless times, I decided to go have a cigarette during the movie.
I go outside the theater and there is Dowd smoking and talking to two other guys. I wait for a lull in the conversation (he's putting out his cigarette and is going back inside), I walk over and say "Hey Dude. It's really cool to meet you," and I put out my hand. He looks down at my hand, looks back up at me, turns around and walks away.
I yelled "Fine. Fuck you." as he's walking away. He stops and talks to an usher, the usher comes out and says "Sir, I'm afraid I can't let you back in."
So I demanded to talk to the manager, her name was Diana and I explained what had happened. She said she understood and was sorry. She said she had talked to him a couple times and that he was a prick. She said I could go back in and watch the movie, I told her I'd rather have a refund. She was fine with that so I went into the theater and got my brother who had come with me, and we left with a refund. She was completely courteous and apologetic and I told her I really appreciated that and I would keep coming to the theater in the future.
So in summation...fuck Jeff Dowd up his fat pompous ass. He forever ruined my ability to fully enjoy that movie ever again that day, and for that more than anything, I will always despise him. Remember when that critic bitch-slapped him at the Toronto Film Festival? That made my week. -
Good post. It's nice to read something beyond reviews and gossip once in a while.
"We're gonna need a bigger bowling ball." -
His character never seemed like the justified "bad guy", a project of his didn't go through? I forget what else happened to his character but it seemed so out of nowhere for him to be the "bad guy". Something seemed missing. No tragedy, conflict or anything...
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Oh wait, wrong thread.
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For Batman 3 in Chicago this morning........
Harry? -
Cutter's Way and The Last Picture Show.
Must marinate on this one. -
Mar 01, 2010 11:34:21 AM CST
Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
by coughlins laws
Larry, is this your homework? Is this your homework, Larry? Larry, you're killing your father! Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!! Do you see what happens, Larry? This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens when you FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!!!
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Mar 01, 2010 11:35:39 AM CST
thehouseoflearneddoctors, are you being serious? Really?
by coughlins laws
You were OWED a handshake? Really? Now you can't enjoy this movie ever again? Really?
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Maybe he made an on-the-spot assessment and decided that you were either a nose-picker or a bum-picker, or that you fit into the 45% of people who don't wash their hands after using the toilet...and decided not to shake your hand. Who knows? He's not really a true celebrity in the sense that the majority of people in this world have no clue who he is, and he isn't rich...so he doesn't really have to uphold any courtesy to the movie-going public at large. He might still be a dick...but I'm just sayin'...
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Good one, Flick.How come you never hear of an outbreak of salmonella from eating salmon?
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...the old place?
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Won't feel totally moved in until Sixies says it.
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...[wiggles eyebrows]...
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we ought to name "lobster rolls" after Kanye West. Don't you think?
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those coiled-ropey forearms across your pecs, Big Man.
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to make 'em look swole. That's why all the girlies come up to us in da club.
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♫♪ and they're like, it's better than yours ♪♫
♪♫ damn right, it's better than yours ♪♫
♪♫ we could teach you, but we'd have to charge ♪♫ -
They're gonna figure in a story I'm working on. Could you list them again, all at once, so I don't have to BAMF back over?
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Where is this GB3 discussion taking place? Is it a new article? Y'know, cuz skipping over to the mail page is SUCH a chore.
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And Youngdog didn't deserve it.So, so far...moviemack, ChocolateWoman, Numbers9997.Help us out Flick. Handles that have been banned.
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It's in the Top Ten.
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...but I mostly remember him from his night-long stream of consciousness posts...I was impressed.
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recently for typing the "n" word over and over?See, that's the problem, I can barely remember everybody's current handles, let alone the banned ones.
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...I think he got caught in a Scriptgirl dragnet.
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Any of the DGDB imitators?
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SomethingAwful points and laughs at Avatar-forums.com in The Weekend Web.
http://tinyurl.com/yjh5kuy -
He's still gonna crap on your rug.
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Good people.
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He wants the famous freakazoids. The one's nobody misses.'moose, help us out. Notorious handles that deserved their Banhammering.
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I need the handles of the evil TBers. The original JettL certainly fits, even tho he's still around.
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And I'm not paraphrasing Ghostbusters.
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No, that's not a euphemism.
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Any tbers banned?
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...I'm sentimental about the fallen.
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That was a bit intense.
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...ten hours of joy and happiness if you have the means for eat me.
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Did you pick up the goonies score?
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I friggin love that score. But do you remember any famous banned trolls other than the ones listed above? It's for a...hehehe...story.
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...for Thanksgiving. Great time, until my little bro accidentally got ahold of one. We went to go see a movie after dinner, and he says now he doesn't remember any of it.
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Still think I need a few more names, tho.
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...he's running out of spelling options.They call him Legion, for he is many.
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Mar 01, 2010 6:27:52 PM CST
...I've had some fun exchanges with him. He's imbalanced...
by flickapoo
...but he's sharp when he's lucid.
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Perfect.
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and My fam is from Monmouth county NJ and they all call it Taylor Ham. I never understood it. Just catching up.
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Good, good. Thanks Mac.
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before leaving forever. hideoussecretion was my favorite. One day he snapped and told the whole site to fuck itself and was gone forever. It was fun to watch the break down.
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I appreciate the effort, but I wanna get the names as close to they were as possible.
Keep em coming. -
...and flood AICN with as many slight variations as possible of the same name...all at the same time. I'm mean like twelve, or twenty , or thirty...mass confusion...like a bunch of Gremlins...
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Was 452 the call number on MacReady's helicopter? If so, kudos on your attention to detail.
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googled it.
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...he left in a big huff...and someone supposedly outed him as an infiltrator from another site, some sort of social experiment for his blog...bla...bla...bla...He was notorious for impressively long rants.
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100 internet points. You are the first person to ever remark on it. Yeah it is the # on the chopper.
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...but I'd settle for amusing.
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i'ld see his name and skip right over it.
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Always nice to be first, too. Except, of course, when you're first to post in a TB and you're all like "Whoo-Hoo!". That shit don't mean nothing.
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internet points for a crisp Fuck Note when Cheeses is around for use at the BLGWAQ. He and I have an arrangement.
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I think I've met my quota of a-hole tbers.
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Got kicked off the internet for a bit.
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I think my character in that story is too young for that sort of thing, tho.
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Doncha wanta?
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Is it your own, or borrowed?
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be gentle to him. he was a misunderstood gen-yoose.
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But I can make it work with the story.
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SVU. It was the one where Stabler got all self-righteous and made his Flickish pecs flex boom-boom on the wrong suspect and ruined the poor guy's life, but Stabler got to hug his kids at the end anyway, just to show that he's an alright guy after all.You guys seen that episode?
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Subby, no, I don't watch much 'dramatic' television.
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All the flavors.
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Not the subject matter. Ice-T's acting. Just kidding. I love T. I don't watch it though.
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...mountain of dishes.
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...except cable stuff with boobies on DVD.I'm a pretentious degenerate.
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I see you soup.
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gotten the joke, and you'd be laughing, laughing, laughing.
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Well, I'm not sure if it was Catherine Keener, but Entertainment Weekly has an "anonymous voter" cast her take on her Oscar votes with clues pointing to Keener. Anyway, she stated Gyllenhall ruins Crazyheart everytime she appears on screen. And she voted Avatar for best picture.
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Keener hmm...
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I assume its Christopher Meloni's character. He is the only one i recall having "Flickish" pecs.
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...you mean thirty seven years old and shrinking?I just googled "SVU Stabler". I'd fight that guy...if he stood between me and a really good cup of coffee.
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when she is supposed to. I'm not a fan but in the beginning when Bad falls for her it isn't hard to see why. As their relationship gets shakey you hate her more. Well..I did. I never liked her much though.
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Mar 01, 2010 7:16:57 PM CST
Yep, it certainly sounds like they're talking about Keener.
by tedkordlives
If only they had added "Goes to every award show baked out of her mind." and it'd be a lock.
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...recently. I think he started the column when he "retired from writing" for a while after his accident...he was depressed and it gave him something to do. Now he's pounding his nails again and seems to have lost interest.
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Nor would she bash another "indie" chick.
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Tell Them Anything You Want: A Portrait of Maurice Sendak. Came out just before Where the Wild Things are. I saw this but not Wild Things. Anyway..Keener pops up in it. It just reminded me she probably has some axe to grind thinking she was better than Gylls.
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for all that matters, as long as he keeps Diablo Cody from writing.Diablo Cody definitely voted for [deleted].
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Oh and Uncle Stevie is hit and miss. I love/hate his music picks. I like that he does it but I only like about 1 or 2 of the artists he mentions.
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You're a bunch of Oscar partiers.Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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...she started writing that column. She only writes about herself...more of a blog, really.A Blogumn®
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even though I just spoiled the "big reveal".
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I read Uncle Stevie and the soundbites and that is about it. It does get delivered to my house though so I can't fight this to hard.
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...watching the Oscars while gossiping and getting shitfaced is a tradition at my house.I'm an iota of gay like that.
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"Oscar partier" is more up-to-date. Not so hateful.
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...of times when I've heard him interviewed.
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Mar 01, 2010 7:30:09 PM CST
...it does put a new spin on the phrase "wild rumpus" though.
by flickapoo
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...get wild on your rumpus.
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I won't put any more money into Time/Warner/DC's coffers than I have to.
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doesn't come off as someone who writes childrens books or even gay. He actually just seems like a grumpy smart ass. It's pretty funny.
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My rumpus isn't watching The Oscars.
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Mar 01, 2010 7:37:05 PM CST
...your loss Subs, that's my only night of rumpus wilding...
by flickapoo
...all year.
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the kids next door come over in their school uniforms and beg for my money so they can go on class trips. They're crafty, and they bring their mom too so if I say no I look like an asshole in front of their whole family.
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I saw thru the Oscars years ago. By all means, enjoy them at your leisure. But they don't mean a thing to me anymore.
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Mar 01, 2010 7:40:14 PM CST
Frankie Muniz ("Malcolm in the Middle") is a rock drummer now.
by subtitles_off
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When she auditioned for crazy heart
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at work cause we go on after them. FUCK THE OSCARS!
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...isn't even one of TEN GODDAMN ASS WIPING NOMIFUCKINATIONS!
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got Subs.Adam Rich will not join the "Eight Is Enough" reunion. Grant Goodeve, however, has gotten the day off from Walmart. "Wouldn't miss it," the eighty-year-old heart-throb told me, in a Subbertainment Exclusive®.
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Unless you're a sweatishist.
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Go on a soap opera?
Man, James Franco is a trendsetter like a maw fucka. -
How can you name a Best Picture of the Year when the best one isn't even nominated?
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Mar 01, 2010 7:51:34 PM CST
OK, gents... I can see I'll need to step up the Diner...
by friendlywaitress
...other works of fiction are bangin' at the gates. Another installment, forthwith...
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Julianne Moore got her start on this soap opera, as did Martin Sheen, Meg Ryan and Steven Weber.
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I blinked. Who? What?
Cheeses sniggered. “Look at her face. Dumb fucking wh-“
Subs elbowed him hard, he didn’t finish that word.
“Did LANCE HENDRICKSEN apologize?” Flick asked.
“For what?” I asked. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
A slow grin spread across Flickapoo’s face, then laughter, great peals of laughter, erupted from his chest. I stepped back, holding the coffee pot in front of me. Even his friends looked at him with strange expressions on their faces. I backed away, slowly, until all of a sudden, I realized HE was there, next to me. He took the coffee pot from me, his brown eyes so calm, serene, but the great power simmering underneath the surface. So very powerful. So very, very underrated.
“He means for AVP. He’s asking, have I apologized for AVP.”
I looked at him blankly. “I just assumed you needed the money. I could never hate you for that. Men have done worse.”
“No. He’s right. It was crap, and I knew it. But I’m making up for that now.” He faced the Pedalback. “You all need to get out of here. Now.”
“Why, Bishop?” I asked. I could feel the world around me splintering. Something was very odd about this place… why had I never noticed before? “I don’t understand.”
“Henriksen, hurry it up. He’s going to notice, she’s not placing orders,” someone hissed from near the counter.
Sixies eyes widened. “What the fuck is Rutger Hauer doing here?”
“The same thing we’re all doing here,” Christopher growled, all grizzly and cool in his kilt. “To keep her docile. To keep her happy. It’s the plan. To lull each of you, one by one, so you’ll just shut up. Look, we don’t have any more time. You all need to leave, and take her with you.”
“Christopher fucking LAMBERT, now? Well, fuck that,” Stabby answered. “I’ve been waiting three days for my fucking calamari.”
“You’ll wait longer when you find out who the chef is," Bishop answered. Always calm. "This is your last chance. GO.”
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Mom watched it during the eighties and that corny soap opera had some killer casting agents. You can find a scene on You Tube where Moore, Marisa Tomei, and Steven Weber are all together. Also longtime cast member Benjiman Hendrickson (the dad in Spanking The Monkey) who sadly killed himself three years ago.
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'Cause The Peebers are knocking this creative writing thing over the fence.
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http://tinyurl.com/yky7ord What an asshole.
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Admiral Ackbar will always be relevant, somehow.
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King of The World, I am not drinking the coffee.
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Chefs don't brew the coffee.Always be posting.
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Asshole indeed.
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have we seen water_shit yet? I'm guessing he's in the kitchen.
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With one of the degrees being Hauer.Can it be done?
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It just got started!
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING US WITH THAT TAG LINE???? It's like they write them for chimps.
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I'm afraid that due to the lack of girls in the PB, I'm going to have to cast you in two roles in my forthcoming story.Fortunately, you have two monikers so as to cut down on the confusion. I hope that doesn't bother you.
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I thought it was just getting going. It's hard writting this stuff. The public demanding the next installment and all.
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Hope it's as good as I member
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Lance was on an episode of X-Files.
Jerry Hardin(Deep Throat on X-Files) was in 'Wanted:Dead or Alive' with Rutger Hauer. Hauer was in 'Surviving The Game' with John C. McGinley. McGinley was in Highlander 2 with Christophe' Lambert. LIKE A MAW FUCKA!! -
I will kill you with telepathy ala Scanners. Hey, that movie had Michael Ironside, who was also in Highlander 2.
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...at the beginning of 'Big Trouble in Little China'.
"And you expect me to believe in monsters and ghosts as well." -
I knew you could do it.
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Lance in No Escape with Ray Liotta in Cop Land with Sly in Get Carter with Mickey Rourke in Sin City with Hauer in Surviving the Game with McGinley in Highlander with Lambert. No TV.
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Fine, take the Fuck Note. I'm too young to know what it's for anyway. And with that, I am out. Later gang.
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besides you got there first.
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I'm doin' a little work, gearing up for another short film shoot within the month and brainstorming ideas for another contest. What's the haps 'round here?
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I'm sure I have. Because I love saying that. And it was awesome. And I wish I had a picture to prove it =(. Damn lack of cameras in cell phones being standard back in 2004.
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“I don’t get it. Why Henricksen? Why Hauer? Why these guys?” D.Vader demanded.
“Who better?” Flick answered. “Look at the look on her face. You think she's stay here for Robert fucking Pattinson?"”
“Yeah… not to mention, they’re bargain basement,” Cheeses muttered.
Behind me, I heard the bell. Once. Loud. And then the voice. “Order’s up.”
“SHIT,” Sixies growled. I heard the sounds of various weaponry leaving sheaths- the slow grind of metal against leather revealed that Stabby had not come without The Big Knife. The feeling of electricity shooting up my spine- that same old feeling I had come to accept- was so intense by now it was making flashing lights in the backs of my eyes. I could see what was coming, and no matter how hard I squeezed my eyes shut the visions wouldn’t go away.
It felt like the whole world was shaking. The light from outside winked out; the only light in the room came from the soft glow of my breasts. I heard someone mutter something appreciative- something about glowing love-jugs- but there was a heavy, dark presence in the air that was making it hard to think.
“In a land where the tumbleweeds twirl,” I heard my voice say….
“Was a diner, pretty as a pearl.
The food is the shit
But the owner’s the pits
Look out, peebers…”
“IT’S THE KING OF THE WOOOOOOORLD!”
“IT’S A FUCKING TRAP!” Ted screamed as he came hurtling through the door, with the Colonel and Yackbacker hot on his heels. “I told you, Subs! We shouldn’t have come here!”
But it was too late… in that instant, the world split apart. One second, there was a roof… the next, roiling dark clouds that looked angry as a hornets’ nest from hell. The mech-suits sliced the roof off of the diner, hacked it into pieces, threw and hurled them out into the desert, like giant, clumsy Frisbees; where each one landed, an enormous mushroom-cloud blossomed upwards in a fountain of flame. “Godddamn it,” Teddy shouted. “So it’s a nice effect! SO FUCKING WHAT” He stood up, a bowling ball at the end of each arm, both crackling with electricity. He spun around, once, twice, until the momentum had reached the ends of his arms, and like a human catapult flung each ball at the driver’s cab of the nearest mech-suit. The soldier had half a second to register a look of shock.
One!
TWO!
And then there was a cloud of sparks, fire, and a whole lot of fresh-ground chuck where the soldier had been.
“Damn, Teddy… nice trick.” Sixies said with a grin as he whipped out his DemonBag.
“YOU ARE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE! I WILL BRING THE PAIN, BITCHES!” bellowed a voice from the kitchen... understatement of the year. They were on us, blotting out the sky, huge metal fists slamming into the floor, smashing shining tables, upholstery… even the pie case. Apples and cherries were flung everywhere. Mac was standing too near the coffee station; a wave of scalding coffee splattered across his chest, and he screamed as he fell to the floor, trying desperately to get his armor off before the coffee ate through to his skin. To my left, I could see a familiar figure jump onto one of the few tables still upright… he sank into position, his pants around his ankles.
“DUCK!” I screamed, following my own advice. Beside me, ‘moose hit the dirt, blocking my view. The rancid smell of asparagus and Sloppy-Joes spread through the air as water_shit did his worst. “YOU WANT YOUR 3-D, BITCH? HERE”S YOUR 3-D, WITH FUCKING SMELL-O-VISION!” Three of the mech-suits reared back, arms sizzling as they melted away… but there were five more to take their place.
There were just too many.
One by one I watched them fall. First Flick, a table in each hand, using them like giant hammers- he took one down before one of them grabbed him and flung him out across the desert. We didn’t see where he landed. Sixies had released all six of his beasties; they swarmed up over one of the giant robots, pulling out gears and cutting wires, doing pretty well, until a battle-copter laid down a line of strafing fire. Bodies flew. Across the floor in front of me, a crackling bowling back rolled weirdly, bloody meat still hanging from the holes.
A shadow passed over my head, and then sound of roaring engines as Mac took his Triumph at top speed off of a fallen wall, using it like some kind of post-apolcalyptic stunt-jump ramp. He let go of the handlebars and whipped his guns out; from the seat behind him, shells tumbled from D.Vader’s guns like rain. A spatter of bullets ripped through the windshield of one mech suit after another, but before they had any time to enjoy it, a mechanized hand with a stupid, gleaming cliché of a knife still sizzling with toxic ass-spray knocked the bike out of the air.
With a surge of sheer muscle, ‘Moose left the ground in front of me; hooves flailed, and struck, and metal flew. For a moment, I thought he might turn this whole mess around… and then the floaters flooded in, and I couldn’t see any of them anymore. In the smoke and haze, I thought I could just make out the Colonel- out of bullets now, just stabbing and hacking away with his bayonets- and then nothing, nothing but the cries of “GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!”"A BILLION OF US CAN'T BE WRONG!" and over it all, the maniacal cackle of Cameron himself, deafening, stomach-curdling, as he strolled nonchalantly to the bank next door with his armfuls of popcorn-butter-spattered cash, the jawbone of Ebert dangling from his hip on a silver chain. “NO ONE TO SAY SHIT NOW,” he bellowed. “NO ONE LEFT! OEL NGATI KAMEIE, ASSHOLES! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
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he is gonna have one hell of a weekend at the BLGWAQ.
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I thought I was gonna be some "red shirt" asshole that gets splashed with scalding coffee and then dies, but I got to go out in a blaze of glory. FUCKIN SWEEEEET! Well done.
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Mar 01, 2010 9:20:26 PM CST
..."jawbone of Ebert dangling from his hip on a silver chain"...
by flickapoo
...AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!Oh, that's not right.
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Done. And doner.
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...sense of humor to get my picture taken posed like Rodin's The Thinker...rubbery chin all squashed up around my ears like Popeye...
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Not cool..
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On tcm...bring it to me!!
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...and there I sat, in the center of it all, on one lone stool that had managed to survive the battle. It didn’t seem real. I felt numb, from the inside out, as though none of this mattered- the characters too one-dimensional, the story too facile to stir my blood.
“That’s because it ISN’T real,” Lance said. He was sitting next to me, on another stool.
“It’s not?” I asked. I looked deep into his eyes, so calm, and warm. My Bishop.
The counter had reappeared before us. The battle was gone. We hung in the middle of a void, black and deep, lit by countless stars. So peaceful. Nothing ever happened here. Just, perfect.
“All this has happened before, and it will all happen again.”
“And it will always be you, Bishop, won’t it.” I reached for his hand, but there was nothing there. Fucking 3-D movie “magic.” FUCKING CAMERON. YOU GET THESE GREAT ACTORS, AND GIVE US CARDBOARD CUT-OUT VERSIONS. “You don’t have to do it, you know. You don’t have to take these roles. You can’t need the money THAT BAD-“
He held up his hand. “It’s too late for me. With the success of The Great Work, he’s so powerful… I don’t know if even Sigourney is a match for him, now.”
A tear welled up in my eye. “So that was the future?”
“One possible future. A likely future.”
“But there’s still time to stop it?”
His eyes met mine- those eyes, every bit as vast and deep as the void around us- and the creases in his face deepened as he smiled gently. “You don’t have to.“
I saw the scene play out in my head, where I ignored Subs, pretended not to recognize him, and he ate his pie and left without a word. Walked out of the door, out of my life, and the Pedalback with him. “That could be your future, Waitress. You could stay here, forever. Safe. Immortal.”
”And what happens to Pedalback, then?”
“You already know the answer.” Which was true. I’d seen it a hundred times, always the same ending.
”And what happens if I go back?”
“There are no guarantees. Only possibilities.”
I looked down at my chest, at the soft swells of creamy flesh nestled in under the pink polyester. I could see just the edge of a scarlet red t-shirt peeking out from underneath… and my ass suddenly felt firmer, as if my skirt had just gotten tighter. I shifted on the stool and heard the old, familiar sound of leather straining against skin.
“You know, Bishop? This waiting tables shit can get kind of boring,” I said softly.
He smiled then. Understanding emanated from his face like a warm light. I could feel it seeping into my skin, into my brain, calming the lightning that traced fiery lines along my spine. The throbbing in my eyes melted away, and peace spread through me. “You know what you have to do, Waitress.”
I breathed deep and lay my head down on the counter. It felt cool against my cheek.
I heard him say one last thing as my eyes slowly closed.
“Not bad, for a Waitress.” My Bishop.
-
first time and I fuckin loved it. Ran...not so much. Got Yojimbo in the chamber. What else am I missing?
-
DING.
I snapped awake.
“Order’s up!” snapped the chef. A plate of eggs over-easy slid into the window. I blinked and looked around at my diner. My beautiful diner. It was late afternoon; my favorite time of day. The sunlight streamed in through the wooden blinds and gleamed on the creamy tabletops, with their chrome trim. The smells of fresh chicken salad and French fries mingled with hints of ice cream and cherry pie. Barry Manilow tunes played softly from the speakers in the ceiling. Perfect.
“You okay, kid?” Lance asked, from three seats down.
“Me? I’m… fine,” I answered. “Must have nodded off.”
I went slowly to the window and picked up the hot plate. Bacon and eggs, buttered toast. I grabbed the coffee as I passed Lance; our eyes locked for a split second. Then, a little smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, just barely touching his eyes. “I AM sorry, Waitress. About- well, you know.”
AVP, I thought. Yeah, you fucking should be. “You’re really lucky I like you so much, you know that, Bishop?”
I crossed the room then, set the plate down in front of Subs, filled his coffee, then plopped the pot down on the table and slid around next to him. I could hear the sound of the hot coffee pot singeing the formica tabletop. There was something really, really satisfying about that.
“So, I’ve been thinking… where you headed after this, partner”?
“Whff?” he asked through a mouthful of bacon.
“Cause I thought, maybe, I’d take some time off.”
He swallowed. “You sure about this?”
“Subs, my friend… I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
He dropped his fork, knocked back the rest of his coffee, and we slid out of the booth and headed to the door. As we reached the door, I ripped off the pink uniform and tossed it on the end of the counter. I paused a moment to fix the zipper on my boot. Fucking Artax glue wasn’t worth shit. Barry sang “Ready To Take A Chance Again” as Subs held the door for me; I paused and looked back to where Lance sat.
He was gone.
Of course.
As we walked towards Subs’ Jeep, an El Camino tore into the parking lot, scattering gravel everywhere as it did a donut before sliding to a stop beside us. Hot on its ass, a guy in a black trench pulled up on a seriously beaten-up Triumph. “Fuck, there you two are. Nice monkey, Friendly.”
“It’s Scary, Mac,” I shot back.
From the back seat of the Jeep, the Colonel muttered, “It’s about fucking time.”
“Amen,” Yackbacker chimed in.
“EssDub? Shall we?” Mac asked, patting the seat behind him.
“Hell yes,” I answered, slinging my leg up over the seat. “Let’s go find Cheeses. We have a war to catch.”
ROLL CREDITS
NO MOOSE WERE INJURED IN THE MAKING OF THIS PRODUCTION.
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They are playing 26 of 30 of his films so it'll be a good time to catch up
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http://tinyurl.com/yfjpu9q
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HIGH AND LOW, SANJURO, THE BAD SLEEP WELL, HIDDEN FORTRESS, THRONE OF BLOOD, IKIRUYou can skip DREAMS, although it does have a few nice bits.
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Now I just gotta go get one.Off to fight the good fight, even if we fight dirty. I don't envy the sad bastards on the wrong end of the war we're bringing em. Good Job EssDubb.
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It's so surreal and beautiful.
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...it's like SHUTTER ISLAND, but in this one Leo says THAT'S RIGHT BENNY KINGSLEY, I'M FUCKING CRAAAAAAAZY!!...strips a bloody uniform off a dead imaginary Nazi and rides off into the sunset...Fuck yea.
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I can hear will.i.am's bass-heavy remix of "Bitch Is Back" playing over the credits.
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Thanks for the list Subs. I got a lot of viewing to do.
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Awesome work!
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http://tinyurl.com/yloe8zf
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Wow, I forgot how unfunny and foul it was- unlike REAL MEN which was very foul and immensely funny.
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-3 star cinema. A 4 year-old could have outsmarted Soran. But JL Picard... not so much. Multiple negative points for letting gravity kill Kirk.
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...at the cosmic diner. It's peaceful there, she deserves it......and I bet Henriksen has some epic boogers.
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We all know how that story ends.
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Mar 01, 2010 10:34:22 PM CST
...Stefania tentatively stretched out her thin, trembling arm...
by flickapoo
...and plunged it into the killer whale's inviting blowhole...
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I'm off to dream of a better world.
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I'm bushed. Who needs a nightcap? The AKU 1 part grain alcohol 1 part Goldschlagger 1 part tobasco sauce ...garnish with one sheep's eye ...light on fire. Nighty-nite, Pedalback!
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Extra points if it's still flaming when it hits the floor. Double points if it hits the foot of your enemy. Triple points if it lights the rancid floor of whatever nasty-ass bar you happen to be in on fire.
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I don't know if the rest of you heard this but the black guy was wanted for parole violation and picked up after that video was shot.
As for EPM, well here is a little documentary about him:
http://tinyurl.com/ygz75ht
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See we moved again...
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He is EPIC!
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Mar 01, 2010 11:17:05 PM CST
...so if a parole violator leaves the station at 45 mph...
by flickapoo
...and collides with a mentally ill epically bearded man moving at 90 mph...
-
...want to slide into my place?
It's nice and warm, and no wet spot tonight... -
And the only answer I can come up with is "That poor parole violator..."
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...by slide into "my place" I meant my Pedalback seat...not my firm wild rumpus.
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" What is up with people thinking this guy is cool? I see him deliberately baiting someone with racist comments until the person gets angry, then (though he moved away) continuing to verbally harass him. Finally the other guy loses his cool and gives him a little shove, and then he beats the crap out of him. EBM just looks to me like a classic bully. The other guy should have been smarter than to fall for his crap, and should never have gone near him, obviously. The whole thing is just pathetic and gives me no joy whatsoever. "
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...he fucked with the wrong geezer.
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Mar 01, 2010 11:24:39 PM CST
Sure, you can document him, but he lied about what happened...
by anonymoose
...who's to say he isn't lying about his life?
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...and bump into an old person who smells of crazy...I say "sorry Sir, give'em hell"...Works every time.
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...it's not an excuse, it's a reason.
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He could be lying, but I find that tale very believable.
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...I just don't say them out loud.
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Mar 01, 2010 11:35:28 PM CST
Plus the black guy failed the number one lesson you learn in pri
by continentalop
Don't fuck with insane people because they are completely irrational.
EBM should be IBM. I think we all know what the I stands for. -
Which is like Flick's - the black guy picked the wrong guy to fuck with.
But after seeing that doc, I do feel a lot more sympathy for the black parole violator. How the fuck was he supposed to know the guy was nuts? -
...I'm in decent shape...I like to think I could give most people a decent fight, but if I'm on the subway, and a person of any skin pigmentation, size, or gender starts talking crazy...and then moves to the other end of the car...I consider that a good day.He or she could threaten to eat my balls for breakfast, I don't give a shit. I got a seat on the subway, and the crazy guy shuffled along...it's a good day.
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this talkback is like an opium dream...
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He was the only white man on a city bus and he was wearing a fucking fanny pack. bus+fanny pack = crazy.
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...care for a puff?
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...you assume everyone on the bus is crazy.
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http://www.fisheseye.com/images/pipe500.jpg
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twitter.com/ConanOBrien
It should serve as a nice outlet for him and a way to connect with fans until September. -
crazy, poor, cribs. showing whats in the fridge. his "whip" is the bus.
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who walk around talking to themselves that scare me...Especially the ones with the Bespin style ear-set phones...
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not the pipe..the girl.
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http://tinyurl.com/yh3cjlk
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that opium should be illegal? I always wanted to see a Wild West drug war centered around opium trafficing. I always thought the problem with such a story was the "lawlessness" of the time and place so the 2 genres couldn't really cross over. i gotta do some research.
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Mar 02, 2010 12:02:14 AM CST
If you see well dressed people acting like this on the sidewalk
by anonymoose
...AVOID.
http://tinyurl.com/yg5q7y5 -
http://thumbs.photo.net/photo/2489239-sm.jpg
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Probably because ILLEGAL opium trade makes a lot more untraceable money for certain factions than LEGAL opium trade....It is in the top three most traded comodities worldwide...right up there with petroleum and coffee...
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I too still remember when Steve Martin was funny...
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...good'ol Steve Martin.
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http://tinyurl.com/yhq2wsj
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...sweet dreams.
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Mar 02, 2010 12:23:28 AM CST
Night, Flick...Watch out for bedbugs and all that...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
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on a word processing program, and you back track to correct spelling or you add some extra info to a sentence and you realize that you have typed the same word or phrase twice and one of them has to go...?I mean which one do you choose to eliminate from existance? The first letters represent your older, original thoughts, and they performed their jobs extremely well, it is't their fault they were born first...But then, you 'accidently' created the clone verbage, so you own it and it is fresher and might last longer...I feel really bad for words like 'the' and 'and' and 'a'....because I have slaughtered more of them than all of the world's serial and genocidal murder's combined body count times two...I fear for my literary soul...I don't want to go to Writer's Block Hell...
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what did you use a 3 liter gravity bong? Word genocide? Its my Friday people. Solomon Grundy's all around.
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I said,"Why?"He said, "Haven't seen it in a long time and it is on HBO on demand." I protest. He insists. I relent. The movie begins. He says, "Where is Robert Redford and Dan Akroyd and River Pheonix?" I hate him.
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not all all
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Fear not
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watching the doors. at least there is that. also with tits.
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Crazies at noon tomorrow. I'll let yall know. night.
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This shit is NICE...Too bad 'The Ass Crack of Dawn' is gonna fart me out into the real world in about 4 1/2 hours from now...
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Watch out for ass cracks...Especially when there's light involved...You know how I feel about that non-committal wave riding/partical loving light bitch....
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Off to work..
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Basturds!
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and would just avoid the media. It's only a matter of time before Trey Parker and Matt Stone and Seth MacFarlane make fun of him in their cartoons. And I don't want to see that.
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What a great movie. It took me a little while to get into it, because of the slow paced storytelling, which some may find boring. But the film is anything but boring and you get young Cybill Shepherd nudity to boot!
What ever happened to Peter Bogdanovich? His What's Up Doc is one of my Mom's favorite comedies. -
He was one of those directors who killed their careers by having his mistress star in all his films.
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Star 80
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A Tale of Two Nodes..."It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was"...March 1st, 2010...Node #44050...Oh, Japan-porno. Eating cockroaches from a school-girl's lap. (http://tinyurl.com/35emp3) ...Jon ("Show Me Your Genitals") Lajoie's rap/comedy-porno "E = MC Vagina." "I'm the Helen Keller of sex - no wait, that's a bad example." (http://tinyurl.com/6m3mw9) ...Scorps' art-porno. ( ) )====D ~o ~o ~o ( .Y . )..."I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss, and, in their struggles to be truly free, in their triumphs and defeats, through long years to come, I see the evil of this time and of the previous time of which this is the natural birth, gradually making expiation for itself and wearing out."...O.G. Muppets vs. Whiny Bitch Muppets...Cobes suggests Susan Sarandon's hottest moment was in THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. He has either forgotten, or never seen, what Susan Sarandon can do to a lemon...It's already the future in Australia, and no one barbies shrimp or says "Drongo" in the future...Some bacteria in Sixies' food are fighting back and kicking his ass like late-80s Van Damme...Colon-El announces a "blah feeling"...diarrhea sneaks in all-stealthy with three clips of roof-top ex-mop-tops. ☆☆Beatles of the Day☆☆ (http://tinyurl.com/yaj5zbt) ...☆☆RIGHT-BRAIN CINEMA☆☆™: WHAT TIME IS IT THERE? - ★★☆☆☆ ⅓...Our favorite Waitress recommends Blue cheese on apple pie and continues "The Diner At the End of Nowhere"...Gorillaz "Rock the House" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEOC6T8uE6I) ...Fascist typists...STLost rates INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS ★★★☆☆ because he is The Equilibrium...The Big Pink - "Dominos" (http://www.thefader.com/2009/07/21/the-big-pink-dominos-mp3/) ...Teddy needs another Indiana Jones movie like he needs "another hole in (his) penis"...New Jersey ninjas like their pork rolls. So that explains the guidette fascination..."Crush humanity out of shape once more, under similar hammers, and it will twist itself into the same tortured forms. Sow the same seed of rapacious license and oppression over again, and it will surely yield the same fruit according to its kind."...Node #44117...It was a salmonella of pork rolls, a congealment of goos...Notorious Banhammerings. Flick has a fondness for the weirdos. Mac remembers them all...You'll all always be AVATARDS to me. (http://tinyurl.com/yjh5kuy) ...Sixies says it @ 05:57:27 P.M....'moose shares a funny comic strip. (http://tinyurl.com/ye89q7s) ...Yack bakes brownies. Yum...Catherine Keener anonymously trashes Maggie Galapagos, maybe...Too many Peebers read "Entertainment Weekly." That magazine is oscarparty-ier than "People."...Flick makes "wild rumpus" sound all dirty and exciting...Maurice Sendak - Crabby Old Man, or, Crabby Old Flaming Genius?...Julianne Moore is returning to the soap opera that gave her her start, "As the World Turns" or "All My Children" - one of the ones that begin with "A." I've forgotten. I could Google it and find out, but, then again, so could you if it means that much to you..."The wine was red wine, and had stained the ground of the narrow street in the suburb of Saint Antoine, in Paris, where it was spilled. It had stained many hands, too, and many faces, and many naked feet, and many wooden shoes."...EffDub concludes "The Diner" with an immersive battle, a raging egomaniacal sumbitch, and a twist, and you can read the complete saga at Googleville. (http://tinyurl.com/yz3kena) ...Lance Henricksen to Christopher Lambert in 6 degrees, with one of the degrees being Rutger Hauer. Teddy and Mac crack it in mere minutes...Vades has met Lance Henricksen...TCM is having a Kurosawa Marathon at the end of March. Finally something on TV in March that isn't spherical and orange and dribbled...No wonder Jay Leno is so territorial about late night TV. He has no other acting options. Is it weird that I notice him constantly grabbing his dick through this? (http://tinyurl.com/yfjpu9q) ...You can now stream the entire feature film STAR TREK: GENERATIONS on Hulu. (http://tinyurl.com/yloe8zf) ...Stefania returns, attracted by "Bishop" boogers and orca blow-holes...Sheep's eye fire-spitballs..."A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, that every one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; that every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imagin-ings, a secret to the heart nearest it! Something of the awfulness, even of Death itself, is referable to this."...Unless Crazy Old Bearded Fuck is a cop I can't see what the black man's parole situation as anything to do with his bus beat-down...A nude chick smokes opium (http://www.fisheseye.com/images/pipe500.jpg), Conan O'Brien joins Twitter and Cheeses fears well-dressed, clean-shaven, mumbly people..."It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known."... -
He's kind of annoying. I think when it comes to EBM, less is truly more.
-
I don't want to see Ebert made the butt of stupid jokes on "South Park," either.
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territoriality. They're to blame for the delayed availability of their discs on Netflix.I hope there's push-back from the other film companies instead of capitulation.
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You're being too kind.
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How's the job hunting going?
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But, I'm still pissed of at them for other reasons. And I see that Waitress is having the same issues I am.
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They're sending me PONYO today, and I just mailed back a DVD yesterday afternoon.
-
Change the subject. Have you seen the reports of soldiers complaining about the inaccuracies of The Hurt Locker? Still haven't seen it yet so I can't really speak to it. 60 Minutes did a big piece on Bigelow last Sunday.
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...I've given up on INGLORIOUS BASTERDS.
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My suspicion is no! He doesn't even deserve his full 15 minutes.
-
...with HURT LOCKER, my skepticism kept nagging me and pulling me out of the movie. Especially irritating because I loved everything else about it.
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Just like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN was. Just like fucking RAMBO was. Anybody with any sense can see that.Oh, I forgot. Sense. I crack myself up.I don't hear any soldiers complaining about [deleted].
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...to full on "icky".
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I've been surprised the HURT LOCKER backlash hasn't been louder or stronger.
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He hasn't even said "G'morning" yet today.You didn't use the same washcloth that you used with Sixies on him, did you?
-
...what's titillating about a movie like LOCKER is a chance to peek behind the flack jacket. "Anybody with any sense"? That's a little strong.
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Mar 02, 2010 10:14:41 AM CST
...no, but Sixies is all better today...maybe I should have.
by flickapoo
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you talk to a veteran, or you watch a documentary. If you rely on a fictitious thriller to tell you "truths" about combat situations, you are begging to be mis-led.
-
Kathryn Bigelow thanks the troops in her Oscar speech, they have every right to laugh at her.
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...they have every right to laugh at her. But, it doesn't diminish my appreciation for the movie one iota.
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Mar 02, 2010 10:27:00 AM CST
...it isn't about "truth", it's just about telling a convincing.
by flickapoo
...story, and being convincing enough to match your storytelling style.Something like PRIVATE RYAN is obviously romanticized and seen through a filter of nostalgia.Rambo is a super-hero movie, and presented as such. Facts need not apply.HURT LOCKER has a documentary style...episodic and meandering. I don't care if you take liberties with the facts, but you have to sell it. It can't be a distraction. I really liked HURT LOCKER, but certain things didn't feel right...and it turns out they weren't correct. Lack of correctness isn't a problem, but not feeling right while I'm watching the movie is.
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...of my one complaint.Still, I wish Bigelow had checked with me first.
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Mar 02, 2010 10:31:11 AM CST
We all have to go on record with our Oscar predictions.
by subtitles_off
I believe [deleted] will win Best Picture. I would be happy to see INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS or HURT LOCKER upset it.Sandra Bullock will NOT win Best Actress.Jeff Bridges will win Best Actor.Monique and Christophe are locks.I wish IN THE LOOP would win for Screenplay Adaptation, but I predict PRECIOUS, ETC. will.
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...is a tool just like any other...you can bend it, stretch it, distract me with a smokescreen, fake it, bait-and-switch it, or ignore it...but the illusion has to work.
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...for me, a movie like PRIVATE RYAN has a strong central narrative that pulls you along emotionally, so in a purely structural sense, I think it can get away with more because there's a lot of emotional sound and fury. Also, we expect that a story with a strong narrative is just that...a story.HURT LOCKER has a more documentary style, both visually and in the story structure, pacing etc... I think the illusion of truth bar is set higher. To go back to the magician metaphor, there is less happening on screen to distract us...so the disappearing coin trick has to be that much cleaner.I'm just thinking out loud here.
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But you are blaming it for the "peek behind the flack jacket" not being "correct."I'm not arguing, either. Soldiers don't go "heroic" and "off-script" like the characters in THE HURT LOCKER do, unless it's to blow off frat-boy steam, and, then, it's usually trouble. But, I didn't have time to think about that while I was watching the movie because of the success with which the thrills were pulling me along.
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That's funny. I remember the reaction to that being a whole lot different than you do.
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...it's not about right and wrong. I have no sense of outrage or of being lied to. If anything I wanted to be lied to a little better.For me it's just a mechanical problem...you've got this great movie...this one area is distracting people and preventing them from enjoying the movie to it's full potential...just fix it...wear a black slenderizing belt...distract them with a flashy handbag...something. Just fix it, because you're movie is almost perfect.
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My malaise has dissipated somewhat.
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I saw that he said he has family in Monmouth County. I was raised mostly in Monmouth, and I heard both "taylor ham" (a decidedly North Jersey term) and "pork roll" (very South Jersey), with pork roll edging out a victory. Makes sense, really, since Monmouth and Ocean are part of the grand confluence of North and South Jersey that can only be called "Central Jersey," a designation not recognized by denizens of North or South.
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...mine is mild, but persistent.
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Originally, it was called "Taylor's Prepared Ham," but after a 1906 regulation, as per Wiki, it was deemed that it did not meet the legal definition of "ham." So it was renamed "pork roll."
http://tinyurl.com/porknroll -
Future Mrs. Fatheart and I booked a place and set a date for the wedding.
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I try not to eat too much pork these days.
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might not be a marathon, per se, as much as an all-month kind of thing.http://tinyurl.com/ydyfncs
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Are you going to have a laptop at the nuptials so us Pedalbackers can participate? At least at the Reception?
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http://tinyurl.com/y9w45ax
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this week?
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to Pedalback by proxy for me during the proceedings. You know, like the president has a Twitter-er.
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...Other Guy the whole shebang.
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http://tinyurl.com/r7qau
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...what do you think of the tux with tails, Some Guy? Classic, or affected?
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I think it's relatively rare any two of us will get to see the same movie on opening weekend.I think Sixies and I are doing ALICE next week, though.
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Especially with runny egg yokes.
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...likes the tails a lot, but thinks the train on the bride's dress is distractingly long.
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At least once. You won't regret it. Just make sure you go to a Diner known for their scrapple.
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...enlarging the bridesmaids/groomsmen to ten of each cheapens and dilutes the honor.We get that you want to be inclusive and be popular with everybody, but five nominees were enough.
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It's much better than it looks.
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I believe it can be both, simultaneously.
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to weddings. Some Guy is naturally averse to them.
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Sorry, Flick.
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will not offend too many guys. Just choose your cheapest friends who will be happy not to have to pay for a tux rental. With girls it can be more of a problem, but the same principal can apply. Girls have to spend more money also on dresses and hair. Just choose the ugliest bridesmaid dress you can find (most are) that the girls you left off the list will be happy they didn't have to shell out money for.
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It's just that it plays a big part in the image I have of my father, and it's not a flattering one. I just equate scrapple with failure, wanton disregard for responsibility and buffoonery. This has been a special episode of TMI: TheColonel's life.
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And the Mrs. will have a maid of honor and a brides-matron. Very simple.
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...I'm the TMI king I fear.
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...fight to keep it that way. I didn't.
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That's the first time I've ever articulated that scrapple association. We've had a breakthrough here, folks.
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I associate Scrapple and Pork Roll as well as Creamed Chipped Beef exclusively with my father. And I eat the former maybe once a year and the latter two never.
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This is important. I had to do the grooms-man duties for my younger brother, and my neck turned crimson and puffy, and I was scarred for a full two weeks after.
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vision of simplicity. We decided that we should spend the bulk of the money on the ceremony/reception site. We wanted good food, premium open bar and nice locations for the photos. The flowers and favors will be simple, the guest list is only at about 100 to 120, and there's no churchin' whatsoever.
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And I thought Charnina would be the grossest food-stuff ever discussed in Pedalback.
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a rocking fucking party. We've come up with a mutually satisfying plan.
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also known as shit on a shingle?
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THERE WILL BE NO ELECTRIC FUCKING SLIDE.
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At home in the yard. Sounds white trashy, but it wasn't. Plus, all the guests thought the couple were poor, so they got the most outrageous wedding gifts.
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Mar 02, 2010 11:47:58 AM CST
...just make sure the fucking church has air-conditioning...
by flickapoo
...ours didn't. Guess how hot it was outside?...just guess?96°
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Pretty nasty, beef smothered in a jizz consistency paste like substance over white bread toast.
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She's indifferent toward organized religion, even though she believes in the concept of a higher power. I believe in nothing of the sort.
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...books, fountain pens, leather book-bags, coffee.Then he had a three-quarterlife crisis and decided to be a redneck and wear fluorescent orange trucker caps and watch AMERICAN IDOL for the rest of his life.
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I just read a very funny article about how HURT LOCKER is basically LETHAL WEAPON here: http://tinyurl.com/yf4aur6 I liked HURT LOCKER, but I don't love it. I thought THE MESSENGER was a superior film, to be honest. I am completely ambivalent towards this year's Oscars (again). I guess I'd dig it if BASTERDS won... but I don't really care either way. Definitely go read that article, trust me.
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Though nothing compares to Connie Corleone's, I'd wager.
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I never have and never would, which is stupid since I'm sure there are probably testicles in scrapple, sausage and cheap hot dogs.
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I loved HURT LOCKER. I just didn't look at it as any sort of thing that had to inform my historical understanding of anything. I can see the LETHAL WEAPON comparison in a broad way, I suppose, but LETHAL WEAPON is a comedy, and HURT LOCKER isn't. HURT LOCKER will prolly stick with me a lot longer than LETHAL WEAPON ever did.Of the list of Oscar noms, though - at least the ones I've seen - LOCKER and BASTERDS are the only 5-ish-star films among a bunch of mediocre, 3-star rentals in STLost's future.
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I think I'd have to put him out of his misery.
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About the Hurt Locker and how terrible it is in potraying what they really do.
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Wins the Oscar...but I know it never will.
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open up the Best Picture list to ten to include D9 and THE BLIND SIDE, while leaving off WILD THINGS or, even, in comparison, MOON? That's just blatant idiocy.
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...I'll eat any vegetable, but I prefer to only eat the muscles of dead animals...the leaner the better.Organs are not to be eaten. I also avoid barnacles, crustaceans, bottom-feeders, and things that crawl of drag themselves along the surface of the earth or the bottom of the sea.
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Picture: THE HURT LOCKER
Director: Bigelow
Actor: Bridges
Actress: Bullock. No, Streep. No, Bullock. Uhhhh ... Streep?
Supp. Actor: Waltz
Supp. Actress: Mo'nique
Orig. Screenplay: BASTERDS
Adapt. Screenplay: UP IN THE AIR
Editing: THL
Animated film: UP
Cinematography: AVATAR
Visual Effects: AVATAR
Sound awards: AVATAR and THL will split these
Makeup: STINO, I guess
Score: UP
Song: CRAZY HEART
Art direction: AVATAR
Costumes: COCO BEFORE CHANEL
Documentary feature: THE COVE
Foreign film: A PROPHET -
you can just go ahead and put me down.
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Oh, man! Offal, I understand. Shell-fish, I couldn't live without.
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...yum.
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...and crab.I can't shake the nagging feeling that I'm missing out.Hemingway makes me want to eat oysters...but they're not for me.
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To show one is a wanted criminal and that the other is an insane nut. Now we have some context.
Personally, I'm just glad normal people were not involved. It's like watching the mafia take on a biker gang - win/win. -
And, what are the nommed Songs?P.S. Col., I don't think there's any way UP IN THE AIR beats PRECIOUS, Based on etc.
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Mar 02, 2010 12:11:07 PM CST
Oh man, speaking of lobster, I had the craziest thing
by colonelfatheart
the other night. Well, not so crazy, ingredient-wise, but the presentation is bonkers. It was a lobster pot pie. The ingredients were pretty standard (corn, potatoes, lobster meat, etc.), but with a huge lobster claw reaching out of the crust on top. It looked like the possessed shrimp cocktail from BEETLEJUICE.
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BASTERDS, WHITE RIBBON, HARRY POTTER, HURT LOCKER. I don't think it's a slam dunk for AVATAR, but I think it'll get the edge because voters may just check it off because they'll probably pick it for a bunch of other technical awards.
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I like to have my food at least de-boned, de-skinned, and de-clawed. I won't eat crab legs, in shell. They're delicious, but I can't be bothered.
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a song from NINE, something from a movie called PARIS 36, and "The Weary Kind" from CRAZY HEART.
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Whichever PRINCESS & THE FROG song is listed first on the ballot would be my choice as favorite.
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I wouldn't be surprised. I just think voters will get caught up in the AVATAR = Pretty formulation.
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until I got food poisoning the last time I had them. If you do ever decide to do raw oysters just make sure that you got to an oyster bar or a restaurant with a reputation for good oysters.
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I wonder if Sixies ever went to see it. For those of you who may not remember, that was the penance he and I agreed upon to redeem his bullying me into seeing [deleted].
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...Donald Duck cartoon. In old cartoons people are always eating giant chicken legs that look like a loaf of meatbread on a stick. No rubbery skin, no fat, no gristle...just lean, clean chicken the size of football.That wasn't the only way I wished life resembled a cartoon...but it was at the top of the list.
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pretty on a computer versus pretty real landscape. I still think The Oscars are the place you see real people react against the imaginary stuff.
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on my brother's head. Not to kill him, you unnerstand. Just flatten his head a little.
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...but I used a bucket instead of a paper cup. My sister opened the door really fast and the five gallon bucket of water dropped straight down on top of her head.Thank I only filled it a quarter full...I could have killed her.
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You haven't signed up at The Shelter, either.http://tinyurl.com/yz3kena
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Will win song. Though the epic failure of not nominating the Keith David song from Princess and the Frog shall never be forgiven. Why do the Oscars always fuck this up?
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No nothing. Can't stand it. I mean every once in a while I'll partake but I'll never order it.
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http://tinyurl.com/stylomv
Bruce Willis has a cameo. You won't miss it. -
Mar 02, 2010 12:36:44 PM CST
I still think one of the younger actresses might pull an upset.
by subtitles_off
Carey Whatzername or Gabbie Whozit.
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...on you. I think it's good movie, and I'm glad I saw it, but...fuuuuuuuck, it's bleak.Definitely a damp squib 0 out of 10 on the post-movie coitus scale.
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Really? My wife loved it. Its bleak as shit but it has a very uplifting ending.
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vasectomy at 7 a.m. the next morning.
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Because I actually thought that movie was hilarious. Especially the Russian cab driver crooner.
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No I haven't seen white ribbonwill get deets on kuro-thon. Oscar predictions henceforth.
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Nominated short films tomorrow.
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I see ya just fine.
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...good movie, but its depiction of parenthood is a worst case scenario in every possible way, and its portrayal of Robin Williams as a failed novelist is crushing enough to make you never want to attempt another creative act for the rest of your life...for fear of failing and ending up like him. Impressive.
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...what are your views on seafood?
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I don't eat seafood.
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Streep should be in Best Supporting for Julie & Julia and she should win.
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Mar 02, 2010 1:12:24 PM CST
Flick, it'll be waiting for you at the shelter's welcome message
by anonymoose
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6:00 AM Sanshiro Sugata (1943)
A young man struggles to learn the ssence of the martial arts. Cast: Ryunosuke Tsukigata, Akitake Kono, Shoji Kiyokawa. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-79 mins, TV-PG
7:30 AM Most Beautiful, The (1944)
Japanese women sacrifice everything for the war effort. Cast: Takashi Shimura, Shoji Kiyokawa, Ichiro Sugai. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-85 mins, TV-PG
9:00 AM Men Who Tread on the Tiger's Tail, The (1945)
In medieval Japan, a feudal lord undertakes a perilous mission to put his brother's soul to rest. Cast: Kenjiro Okochi, Susumu Fujita, Kenichi Enomoto. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-59 mins, TV-PG
10:00 AM Sanshiro Sugata Part 2 (1945)
A judo fighter continues his training to prove his superiority to foreign challengers. Cast: Denjiro Okochi, Susumu Fujita, Ryunosuke Tsukigata. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-82 mins, TV-PG
11:30 AM No Regrets For Our Youth (1946)
A woman flees society after seeing her father and lover destroyed by government oppression. Cast: Danjiro Oicochi, Eiko Miyoshi, Setsuko Hara. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-110 mins, TV-PG
1:30 PM One Wonderful Sunday (1947)
An engaged couple tries to enjoy their Sunday holiday without spending any money. Cast: Midori Ariyama, Chieko Nakakita, Isao Numasaiki. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-110 mins, TV-PG
3:30 PM Drunken Angel (1948)
An alcoholic doctor builds a shaky friendship with a dying gangster. Cast: Takashi Shimura, Toshiro Mifune, Reizaburo Yamamoto. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-98 mins, TV-PG, CC
5:30 PM Stray Dog (1949)
When a detective's gun is stolen, he tears apart the underworld to get it back. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Takashi, Shimamura, Keiko Awaji. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-122 mins, TV-PG
8:00 PM Rashomon (1950)
In medieval Japan, four people offer conflicting accounts of a rape and murder. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Machiko Kyo, Masayuki Mori. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-88 mins, TV-PG
9:30 PM Seven Samurai (1954)
Japanese villagers hire a team of traveling samurai to defend them against a bandit attack. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Takashi Shimura, Kuninori Kodo. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-207 mins, TV-14
1:00 AM Yojimbo (1961)
A samurai-for-hire sets the warring factions of a Japanese town against each other. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Eijiro Tono, Seizaburo Kawazu. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-111 mins, TV-14, Letterbox Format
3:00 AM Sanjuro (1962)
A wandering samurai recruits younger fighters to help him battle corruption. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Tatsuya Hakadai, Yuzo Kayama. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-95 mins, TV-14, Letterbox Format
4:45 AM Dodes 'Ka-Den (1970)
Slum dwellers in Tokyo fight to survive while dreaming of better lives. Cast: Yoshitaka Zushi, Kin Sugai, Kaou Kato. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. C-140 mins, TV-14
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I've got something for you guys. When I clock out, it's on.
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8:00 PM Ikiru (1952)
A dying man devotes his last months to building a children's playground. Cast: Takashi Shimura, Nobuo Kaneko, Kyoko Sieki. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-143 mins, TV-14
10:30 PM Throne of Blood (1957)
Spurred by his wife and a witch's prediction, a samurai murders his lord to steal the throne. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Isuzu Yamada, Takashi Shimura. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-109 mins, TV-14
12:30 AM Hidden Fortress, The (1958)
In medieval Japan, a samurai fights to sav a feudal lord's daughter from bandits. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Misa Uehara, Ninoru Chiaki. Dir: Toshiro Mifune. BW-139 mins, TV-PG, Letterbox Format
3:00 AM Hakuchi (1951)
A former mental patient's romantic involvements lead to tragedy. Cast: Setsuko Hara, Masayuki Mori, Toshiro Mifune. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-166 mins, TV-PG
10 Wednesday
6:00 AM Lower Depths, The (1957)
An elderly pilgrim tries to help the inhabitants of a Japanese flop house. Cast: Isuzu Yamada, Toshiro Mifune, Bokuzen Hidari. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-125 mins, TV-14
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8:00 PM Bad Sleep Well, The (1960)
A man seeks revenge by marrying the daughter of his father's enemy. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Masayuki Mori, Kyoko Kagawa. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-151 mins, TV-14, Letterbox Format
10:45 PM High And Low (1963)
Kidnappers mistake a chauffeur's son for the child of a wealthy businessman. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Kyoko Kagawa, Tatsuya Nakadai. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-143 mins, TV-14, Letterbox Format
1:15 AM Red Beard (1965)
A tough doctor takes a young intern under his wing. Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Yuzo Kayama, Yoshio Tsuchiya. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-185 mins, TV-MA, Letterbox Format
4:30 AM I Live In Fear (1955)
An elderly industrialist's fear of nuclear warfare leads his family to accuse him of insanity. Cast: Kamatari Fujiwara, Kazuo Kato, Toshiro Mifune. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-103 mins, TV-PG, CC
17 Wednesday
6:15 AM Scandal (1950)
A tabloid report tries to turn a singing star's friendship with a young artist into an illiciet romance. Cast: Yoko Katsuragi, Toshiro Mifune, Noriko Sengoku. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. BW-105 mins, TV-PG
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Mad Dog Morgan at midnight tomorrow night at the Alamo! Look it up on imdb. I am so there.
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8:00 PM Dersu Uzala (1975)
A Russian explorer brings the Asiatic hunter who saved his life back to civilization. Cast: Maksim Munzuk, Yuri Solomin, Svetlana Danilchenko. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. C-141 mins, TV-PG, Letterbox Format
10:30 PM Kagemusha (1980)
Japanese clansmen force a poor thief to impersonate their dead warlord. Cast: Tatsuya Nakadai, Tsutomu Yamazaki, Kenichi Hagiwara. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. C-180 mins, TV-PG, Letterbox Format
1:45 AM Ran (1985)
An aging lord's decision to retire brings out the worst in his sons. Cast: Tatsuya Nakadai, Akira Terao, Jinpachi Nezu. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. C-163 mins, , Letterbox Format
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Shit I've had that sitting in my DVR for weeks I should get on that bad boy. No Runaway Train?
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Got them as well.
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I worked on The Door in the Floor when I was in college. I was told I was gonna meet him but when I mentioned I would call him the dude they never brought him into the production office.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/02/kristian-digby-dead-bbc-p_n_482520.html
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I've never seen a single Kurosawa film? Where do I keep that sharp knife...
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...I'm ashamed.
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I hang my head in shame.
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its either this or well collect alms and buy that kick ass box set...
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Should also go out and see Runaway Train. Great fucking movie.
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All night and early morning wednesday. And holy shit are they showing a lot! There are some I've never even heard of too, like The Most Beautiful and I Live in Fear. Damn, my DVR is going to fill up QUICK!
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Watch SEVEN SAMURAI first, since its his most well-known. Its his Samurai epic. Then watch Rashomon, because its a brilliant exploration on the nature of "truth". Then watch Yojimbo since I'm sure you've seen the Clint Eastwood remake "A Fistful of Dollars". Then watch High and Low to change things up, his modern, Japanese take on King's Ransom. And if you're up for it, watch RAN bc its Shakespeare and Throne of Blood for the same reason.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Wait, that's not right... -
Seven Samurai Rashomon Yojimbo The Hidden Fortress (Ted you should watch this too bc it influenced Star Wars and every shot of an army coming out of the mist- those shots are in A Bug's Life and The Phantom Menace) Ran High and Low But I own, and still haven't seen yet, Kagemusha, Throne of Blood, Stray Dog, and Drunken Angel. I'm behind on the times.
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Came from the west to battle the amazing Rando!!!!wait that's ain't right either
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I'll take that under advisement.
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I've got a lot of catching up to do, I reckon.
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He'd like to come and meet us but he thinks he'll blow our minds!
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But I completely agree with you about RUNAWAY TRAIN, hence forth known as RUNAWAY FUCKING TRAIN.
Anyone who thinks Eric Roberts can't act should see that movie. -
So I have the original in my Netflix que but I have never seen it. I saw Sahara but it was a long time ago. I went into this movie cold with no expectations or prejudices other than Seth Bullock is always hard as fuck.Not 5 minutes into the movie I was annoyed by the resolution of the movie. That "wiggle" or "gritty" look distracted me the entire movie. If you want a clean look when you pay to see a movie you won't get it with this film.I started to have vague flashbacks of The Happening when people started losing their shit early in the movie. Fortunately this is relieved with a reasonable cause for the events that are occurring.The cast is strong. Olyphant is never overly disturbed by what is going on but is interesting enough to keep the audience engaged and on his side. Radha Mitchell is 100% less robotic than she was in Surrogates. Joe Anderson playing Olyphant's deputy was the most interesting and likable character. The tone is kept very serious and real even if the desperation that is supposed to envelope the movie is never fully realized.There are a few stand out sequences that I really enjoyed but over all, I found the movie lukewarm. It didn't offend or insult me and I like the genre so I'll give it 3/5 stars.
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Sanshiro Sugata (I know it as Judo Saga)
Judo Saga II
No Regrets for our Youth
Drunken Angels
Stray Dog
Rashomon
Idiot
Ikura
Seven Samurai
Throne of Blood
The Lower Depths
The Hidden Fortress
The Bad Sleep Well
Yojimbo
Sanjuro
High and Low
Red Beard
Dodesukaden
Dersu Uzala
Kagemusha
Ran
Dreams
Rhapsody in August
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Stray Dog because it is one of the best policers ever made, and Ikura because it is so fucking great.
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Came from the west to battle the amazing Rando!!!!wait that's ain't right either
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You can sit this month out...
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... If I'd opened the DVD boxes yet and watched them =). I forgot I've seen Dreams as well. I was counting films based on what DVDs I own, and I don't own Dreams.
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I don't know if it is 100% true but I have a theory that Stray Dog inspired both Madigan (even though it is based on a book) and 48 Hours.
And Ikura is just beautiful. -
Stranger things have happened, I suppose.
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I have seen a lot of films that are pre-1980s. From 1980-2000 I have seen a decent amount, After September 11th, fuck if I am lucky to heard about the movie.
10 movies were nominated for best picture. I think I have only seen 3 of them. -
Mar 02, 2010 3:16:09 PM CST
Ted, Stray Dog is supposedly based on an Ed McBain crime novel
by continentalop
But the basic plot is a cop who looses his gun to a criminal who is using it in a number of crimes. Sound familiar?
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It sounds like the first app. of the Madmen in Blue Beetle's Charlton comics.
But that's just me. -
fuck you...no seriously eddie owes his career to kurosawa
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sweet denise crosby..
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Taylor ham and they always cut the edges in three places so it wouldn't totally curl up.
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I like it when she swears.
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Mar 02, 2010 3:23:50 PM CST
Since you're all in Kurosawa mode... in case you missed this.
by anonymoose
Capone: Good morning, everyone.
Wesley Snipes: Hey, there he is. Good morning.
Antoine Fuqua: Hey, I was getting deja vu for a minute.
Capone: Antoine, you mentioned last night just as you did a couple of years ago when we spoke that you are a big fan of Kurosawa, and how a lot of your films deal with that chipping away at honor and a code.
WS: I like Kurosawa, too, from another perspective.
[Everyone Laughs]
Capone: Sure. Those were like action films that had so much drama and character development. It’s really a rare thing these days to get that level of character development in action film. Can you talk a little bit about how you view your films through that filter, and Wesley please chime in on that, too, because I know that you are a fan.
Antone Fuqua: Kurosawa is a master. The thing with Kurosawa that’s most interesting, or one of the things that is most interesting, obviously he comes from a samurai family which is really interesting about him. And it was all about honor and integrity, and the one thing that I learned from Kurosawa is he would always take his heroes and drag them through mud. He would literally do that. And I believe that you have to almost break a man down to all fours and drag him through the mud and then see how he comes out on the other side. If he can still stand up…
Capone: If he comes out on the other side.
WS: Yeah!
[Everyone Laughs]
AF: That’s right, “If” he comes out, which is really all about choices, which is what SEVEN SAMURAI is about, choices and then WILD BUNCH did it, which was about choices, and the choices you make for others, a selfless choice. He explored that a lot, and I didn’t know it as a kid that that’s what was happening, I just felt that sort of honor, and so I grew up on a code that I pulled from that, which was friendship and integrity and your word is your word, yet sometimes you have to take action for someone you might not even know. I love films about that, and his films are also about men under pressure. RAN and THRONE OF BLOOD, it’s about men under pressure with these great warriors who are under great pressure. Obviously, he studied Shakespeare, and that’s where a lot of that came from as well. So it just moves me when I see men under pressure having to make life decisions, and it can be life-threatening decisions. And when they make the right decision, something inside me lights up, you know?
Capone: It’s just as interesting when they make the wrong decision, too.
AF: Yeah, because you see the consequence, but ultimately at the end of it someone is making the right choice. Take TRAINING DAY, Ethan Hawke made the right choice. In this one, Richard Gere made the right choice. Even Wesley’s character made the right choice, but because of the ugly world he was living in, he couldn’t escape it and get out. That’s how Kurosawa has… And then there are all sorts of visual ways I can go nuts with, so yeah.
Capone: [To Snipes] What is your perspective on his films?
WS: The scope. The epic character of it, but he also had, for me, dynamic actors who were also physical. They had deep emotional expressions or could express themselves emotionally… deep personalities, but at the same time they were very physical, and that’s right up my alley.
Capone: I can see that.
AF: That makes perfect sense.
WS: Because there are very few actors, I’ve grown to realize, that have that mix and that balance of being able to be deeply emotional, but at the same time be consistent with that emotion and character and be physical at the same time, you know, not come out of character when it comes time for the action sequence. That’s kind of what I find interesting. I guess that would be the model that I tailored my early training around. Mostly, all of the scenes I ever did in school ultimately had some physicality involved with it, you know. I like that.
Capone: So Toshiro Mifune has a very special place in your world?
WS: Absolutely! That and you take William Marshall from BLACULA; you know what I’m saying? This guy, he was a Shakespearian actor and he brought to BLACULA a tone and a dignity and a depth of performance that was unusual for what we would consider a blaxploitation vampire flick. But for me as the actor, I’m looking at the technique that he’s using, his tone and choices, and I can make that from Toshiro Mifune and I tried to bring a lot of that to BLADE and even to this character, that realism, that true expression of the emotion, but also being physical at the same time. -
that is still front page news.
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I'm telling you to watch a sushi roll...Fuck, how embarrassing.
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I thought that was an interesting take on Kurosawa, one that seems echoed in the TCM article about the director that was linked earlier.
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Mmmmm... You're right, it IS beautiful!
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Reboot Blacula with Snipes NOW!
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He's babbling bout
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...is only two or three different from my list of Kurasawa films I have not seen...Sigh.
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Mar 02, 2010 3:32:08 PM CST
California Rolls have a level of depth and emotion few things ca
by continentalop
But in all seriousness, IKIRU is a great movie. A kind of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE OF JAPAN, but without the sentimental nature whatsoever.
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He sounds like a lot of actors who know what they're talking about. He's talking about the craft of acting, which may sound like babbling, but it makes sense. In this case, he's talking about keeping in character, even in action sequences, where many actors would just be concerned with their footing and lose focus on their character.
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I have not seen (deleted).
I also haven't seen INGLORIOUS BASTERDS or THE HURT LOCKER, or CRAZED HEART or STAR TREK or DISTRICT 9. -
Finally got the DVD for my birthday around Christmas 2008, but I still haven't seen it. Guess I was waiting for that perfect night to watch it. The closest I've come to seeing it is that Simpsons episode where Homer learns he's gonna die.
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I thought it was a Russian director?Anyway, the Kurosawa I've seen:Rashomon, Ikiru, Seven Samurai, Throne of Blood, The Hidden Fortress, The Bad Sleep Well, Yojimbo, Sanjuro, High and Low, Kagemusha, Ran, Dreamswith Red Beard and Dersu Uzala upcoming in my queue.
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...I will say that Snipes is dead on regarding William Marshall's performance in the film. He really elevates the whole film with his pathos. That said, I can't wait to see the sequel with Pam Grier.
-
Mar 02, 2010 3:38:55 PM CST
Ha! Vader you just reminded me of one of my favorite Simpsons qu
by continentalop
Homer Simpson: Aw Marge, why do we hafta go to Japan?
Marge Simpson: C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon.
Homer: That’s not how I remember it. -
And was supposed to direct it originally.
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Soul asylum
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By Kurasawa.
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Always makes me laugh. And the others in the room with me don't ever get it.
-
William Marshall almost elevates that movie. Almost.
The guy who plays the doctor is ok, but man, some of the women in that movie were obviously not cast do to their acting chops. -
Were Burns is talking about that guy who is always standing on his hind legs. Rory Calhoun.
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Mar 02, 2010 3:47:31 PM CST
He's like a little... Who's that guy who's always standing...
by d.vader
... and walking? Why yes! He's like a little Rory Calhoun! I always enjoyed the scene where Burns is in a full-body cast and being fed by Homer, and he keeps opening his mouth with that loud sound, awaiting the spoonful of food, just like Alex at the end of A Clockwork Orange.
-
L'emploi du temps2001. French. Subtitled.Directed by Laurent Cantent.Maybe it's due to my present predicament, but I found this understated character study to be one of the most affecting and effective mid-life crisis dramas I've seen. Sad-eyed actor Aurelien Recoing, who could pass as a French Kevin Spacey, plays "Vincent," a man who loses his job and begins a complicated deception with his family and friends. He slips naturally into the role of a con-man and, briefly, a black-marketeer before he's forced to face the consequences of his situation. Slow and subtle but moving. An antidote to facile Hollywood productions - such as UP IN THE AIR - that either gussy up the scenario with bombast or skirt it completely.★★★★☆
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But I found it very effective and strangely haunting. You might be like me and still be thinking about the movie months from now.
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is the King Kong parody, when Burns throws the gas canister right at his feet. They cut back to him and he is singing, "I was strolling through the gas one daaaaaaay...."
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Makes fun of Disney quite nicely as well.
-
Is when the kids are dragging the school bus up a mountain.
Martin Prince: I feel like I am in Fitzcarraldo!
Nelson Muntz punches him.
Nelson: That movie was flawed! -
...with the content, and when they were written. I love to dip into the imagination of a person long dead.With movies I gravitate toward stuff that was made more or less during my lifetime. I watch older stuff, and I appreciate it, but I have to force myself a bit.
-
Another great line in the King Kong parody is Smithers when he hears Marge is going on the ship with them.
Smithers: I don't think Seaman and women mix.
Burns: I know what you think! -
on a brighter note Malcolm MacDowell was in the episode. I always enjoy Alex. Even in his earlier mention above.
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of flavor but also are really physical.[Everybody laughs]Wesley Snipes needs to pay his taxes and be still. Not necessarily in that order.
-
Strangley relaxinghttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewqqNyb-AQ4
-
With movies. I seem to enjoy and appreciate older movies. I think it is because they were carving out the grammar and language of the medium back then. Nowadays, I don't think there really is a film vocabulary - people are so "advanced" in a way they can decipher and accepts any sort of images.
I think film nowadays is technical way more advanced, and obviously not nearly as dated or primitive, but it is also less literate. It's slick but lacks aesthetic qualities that I admire in older movies. -
I think past movies were like long beautiful hand written letters, and modern made movies are usually like Tweets. or Facebook post.
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http://tinyurl.com/yz3kena Do it!
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... Is what I'd be saying if you weren't a few inches too short! NEXT!
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I remember the 'women and seamen' line. Hilarious!
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... Who killed the original Alfalfa!
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I wonder if he could provide faster nudity?
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is there an interview or audition or what?
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I see you black and white.
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Mar 02, 2010 4:10:57 PM CST
...Conti, what's weird is that I agree with you completely...
by flickapoo
...and yet older movies often make me fidgety.I guess the difference is probably that you watch a movie the way I go to a painting museum...to enjoy, yes, but to study, learn, dissect, and steal techniques and tricks too.I make an effort to approach movies that way, but if I'm honest I mostly watch movies for fun and to relax after I get home from dissecting at the painting museum all day.
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Ugh. You smokers disgust me. Hey Apoo, do you have that breakfast cereal for people with Syphilis?
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So lazy and surly. YAAAAAAAAAWN
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Rooney: Hi, Milhouse. The studio sent me to talk to you, being a
former child star myself, and the number one box office draw
from 1939 to 1940.
Bart: Wow, spanning two decades! -
The Lord of the Flies piece they do, where Milhouse is on trial for eating the food. Nelson, for the prosecution paces back and forth holding his chin speculatively, then just beats the crap out of him.
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I'm fucking bitching about new movies while on THE INTERNET instead of writing a letter to Cahiers du cinéma. Hard for me to get upset at people for enjoying modern entertainment.
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I see Series, too. Well done!!Don't let me forget to bully Cobra into it.You guys take a look at "Read Me First" to get your bearings and be sure to check out The Archives.And thank 'moose for creating the whole thing and keeping the Home Page popping.
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I have subscription cards.
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Moe: Hey! I may be ugly and hate-filled but... uhh... what was that third thing you said?
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great Savini cameo.
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Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuffs loaded with nutrients. I...I can't compete with that stuff.
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...I'll gladly sit through hours of experimental animation that would bore a supermax prisoner.
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the more you watch, the less you notice that kind of homeworky discomfort you speak of. At least that was my experience.Same with foreign films.Not so much with blatant art movies.
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Kid PresentableKid Moe
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"I'm gonna take you out for a steak the size of a toilet seat!"
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http://www.sitasingstheblues.com/The rest of you Peebers, too, if you are animation fans.
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I have no means to quote you.
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...especially because black and white movies generally have a much more painterly style...documentaries with old footage are great for that too.
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For example:
http://tinyurl.com/yc3kv2o -
...another one that got lost in the shuffle of switching from Blockbuster to Netflix.
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OUCH! I bent my Wookiee... =(
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"What do you call it Moe?" "A car hole."
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...Somebody set this thing to 'Evil'".
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I saw that in class 8 years ago and have been trying to remember what the name was for the past couple of years to no avail. Googling experimental film and mirror didn't yield me a lot of good responses.
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Director: NEXT! Ralph: Chicken Necks?
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The Louis Bunuel film were they cut the guys eye?
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Was part of the same screening as Meshes of the Afternoon. I've seen Un Chien Andalou a few times since then as well. Another reason I love The Pixies is for their references to it in "Debaser".
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Reach in and grab a pickled egg. Who ever gets the black one stays sober tonight.
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Was a calf's eye or something? Or is that one of the theories floating around and they've never admitted it yet... I can't get my girlfriend to see it bc she has a thing against eye-violence. And I can't say I blame her, I'm pretty much the same way.
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into two factions: experimental obscure animation and the most mainstream low grade animation/funniest show ever.
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But it is a very squirm inducing scene.
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"Is it Batman?""No.""Batman's a scientist.""It's NOT Batman!"
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Mar 02, 2010 4:39:58 PM CST
...and I watch plenty of subtitled movies, but I know from...
by flickapoo
...watching Italian movies that you lose at least thirty percent of the movie in translation...I want to spend half the move explaining to my wife why a certain scene is funny or sad in the original. With other languages I can only imagine what I'm missing...
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We're bent.
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...in THE SIMPSONS.
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with my Subtitles_On.
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Bart: No offense, Homer, but your half-assed under-parenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed over- parenting.
Homer: But I'm using my whole ass. -
And ended up having his eyeballs fall out as a result.
-
I don't think she'd appreciate the movie as much as the rest of us.
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"they might even make the playoffs!"HOMER:"you'll be in your cold, cold grave before that happens"MARGE: "Homer, would you please stop talking about the children’s graves?"
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...is far outstipped by all of yours. I can respect that.
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Mar 02, 2010 4:54:00 PM CST
Flick, that is why comedies don't translate well over seas
by continentalop
And why who translates the movie is so important. I mean, sometimes you have to completely change a word or line if you want to convey the same meaning or significance.
But considering the fact I can't speak Italian, I'll have to settle with subtitles if I want to watch giallo or poliziotteschi film, because the dubbing just sucks. -
...gut off a guy's eyelids, stake him to the ground near an anthill, and pour honey on his eyeballs routine?
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Mar 02, 2010 4:55:49 PM CST
savage, change your nickname at the shelter to your AICN handle.
by anonymoose
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Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but...Mmm, sacrilicious. -
If it's like beer we'll have some!
-
...the voices of Bill Cosby and Sylvester Stallone in Italian. Strange but true.And you haven't lived until you've watched DIFFERENT STROKES in Italian..."ma cosa mi dici Willis?!".
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Simpsons quotes are keeping me here, but I've got stuff to do so I have to break away.
Adios everyone. And remember:
Oh Marge, weaseling out of things is important to learn. It is what separates us from the animals...well, except for the weasel. -
My personal philosophy.
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...my new word of the month.
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Strong finish, too.
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It was syndicated for an hour at dinner time every week night. So growing up, my brother and I watched 2 episodes a day for years.
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...sister once chowed down on a box of communion wafers at church?I hope so...the world is a better place if that story is true.
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I couldn't leave without saying:
Embiggens? I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield.
I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word. -
Beats holy water.
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"Where in the bible does it say racket?""Its in there!"
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See y'all later. Remember: Keep fuckin' that chicken.
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I can't stand Oprah.
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...I want to make a joke, but that's such a brave and personal confession...I just can't do it.
-
was truly impressive. Not the generic one - the one based off his recorded audio.I just get so fed up with Oprah's "I love that story, tell us more about God" crap. And the way she turns to her audience and gives them permission to applaud."Do as I say, w-o-m-e-n, or I won't let you look under your seats!"
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on toast with a little light malaise.
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Too easy, man, too easy. Like playing Marco Polo with a deaf kid.
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...ecstatically digging for prizes in their own wild rumpuses...there's a perfect joke in there somewhere...why can't I find it?
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I'm having tacos for lunch. Crunchy crunchy tacos.
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Love tacos.
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What's rattlin'?
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his Hiroshima film has been halted due to suspicions regarding its validity.
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Mar 02, 2010 5:43:45 PM CST
For those that missed the Oprah/Ebert interview... highlights...
by anonymoose
http://tinyurl.com/yzu5f5j
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The audience is like, "Dafuck is The Hurt Locker and Crazy Heart?"
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Ransoming The Oscars.
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Gotta wait til I'm off the clock to post. I just wanna make sure that my posterior is covered, ya know?
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They're holding a copy of Elfman's Mars Attacks score for me at Waterloo!! Total Blue Beetle music right there.
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because Oprah was waving her hands in the air to prompt them.
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...I might involuntarily smash my computer. I can't afford a new one right now.
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http://tinyurl.com/yeazgyyFor those of you who are into that sort of thing.
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What's the title of that first Star Wars pic...Han, Luke and Leia smoke a space joint...???
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Had Oprah giving away tons of gifts to her audience, each one more ridiculous than the last, and the audience goes crazier and crazier with each one, culminating in one girl giving birth right there on the audience steps and someone else (Tina Fey maybe) ripping another woman's arms off. It was great.
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Mar 02, 2010 5:58:52 PM CST
...I imagine that fulfills a fantasy for someone somewhere.
by flickapoo
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Mar 02, 2010 6:07:01 PM CST
I saw those SW pictures earlier today. An interesting note...
by d.vader
Two of those pictures are from the deleted sub-plot from Empire Strikes Back where Wampas were getting into the base and killing Tauntauns. One picture shows a dead Wampa laying on the ground, covered by bits of wall and wiring. Another shot, possibly from this sub-plot or possibly from when the Empire invades, shows Rebel soldiers firing down a corridor. At Wampas? Maybe. The other definite picture from this deleted scene is the one of the Snowtroopers standing outside a closed door with a torn, yellow sign on it. Behind that door are a bunch of captured Wampas. 3-PO, on his way to the Falcon, rips off the yellow "WARNING!" sign, which allows the chasing Snowtroopers to open the door, thinking Rebels are in there, and find themselves getting attacked by pissed off Wampas.
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Why didn't Lucas add THAT scene to the remakes???? Wampas vs Stormtroopers!!!! That would'a been sweet...
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Here's the real deal as setup for some of you. Just look at the PHOTOS of the audience reaction here: http://tinyurl.com/y8nbmj9 Now check out the SNL skit spoofing this from 2004: http://tinyurl.com/b43xzx Hilariously awesome.
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...just started it, but it seems to be saying that 3-D is the future of film and always has been...starting with the first experiments with stereoscopic photography around 1860.
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But I do know that what led up to it WAS shot. There are other photos online of 3PO ripping the "WARNING" sign off the wall, but no pictures that I know of showing the Wampas pulling the Troopers into the room or showing Wampas fighting the Troopers. I think it was deleted bc A) it wasn't necessary and got in the way of the real plot- the Imperial attack and B) They didn't have real good working Wampa suits. These scenes explain why there are Wampas in every other room during the Hoth levels of the Nintendo 64 game "Shadows of the Empire". I've heard that the shot from ESB of R2 strolling down a hall and having ice fall on his head is actually from a scene where a Wampa is about to break through a wall. They reused it to show how heavy the footsteps of the AT-ATs were. You can STILL see a remnant from this Wampa sub-plot in the finished film. Just before Han is about to go out to find Luke, he asks about Speeders, and someone says they're having trouble adapting them to the cold (So Han takes a Tauntaun instead). If you look in the background, you'll notice a BIG smear of red blood on the wall, and the medical droid, 2-1B, and some rebels are kneeling on the ground next to a dead Tauntaun, one that's been killed by an intruding Wampa.
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Mar 02, 2010 6:24:18 PM CST
..."the mind feels its way into the very depths of the picture..
by flickapoo
...the scraggy branches of a tree in the foreground run out at us as if they would scratch our eyes out." -Oliver Wendell Holmes, in The Atlantic Monthly, 1859.
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But only because the big shots(Cameron, Lucas, etc.) say so. Personally, I'm not looking forward to Spider-Man shooting his webs at my face.
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...it's pointing out that 3-D photography predates the moving picture...that far from being newfangled, photography was trying to go 3-D from the very beginning...Interesting.
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Mar 02, 2010 6:45:45 PM CST
Vaderman...You got your Star Wars shit DOWN...!!!
by cheeses_of_nazareth
Should'a 'spected that from your name....I love that shit...It would have been "Aliens" a decade before "Aliens"."Han, they're right on top of us!!!" "Quiet, Leia, there's something wrong eith the scanner..."There's nothing WRONG with the scanner..."Flash light up to reveal many Wampas with blood on their fangs..."Game OVER ,man. Game OVER!!!"What other deleted plots do you know about?
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God DAMN that would've been cool.
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We get the New Yorker on Wednesdays here. I'll check it out tomorrow, for sure.
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In the story, I mean. I gotta figure you in before I post it.
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3D might fascinate me.
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Michael Powell's 'The Tales of Hoffman'? It's George Romero's favorite weird movie.
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There's just getting to be so many of us, ya know? Plus I started writing at the bar, so....the last page or so is pretty illegible.
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Mars Attacks main titles, take me away!
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how one would put a space in your talkback name?
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must be possible.
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...just out of curiosity.There is an alt-key code that makes a space...maybe that has something to do with it?
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The narrator thing, I mean. We've all gotta be front and center.
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...you describe while watching [deleted] sound as though you might be having some sort of physical trouble with 3-D.I expected to have a hard time with it...it's not a problem in real life, but apparently the tracking muscles (that rotate the eyeball) are imbalanced in my eyes...my right eye being weak. Anyway, I could never do those Magic Eye posters and shit...I fully expected to walk out of [deleted] in disgust after twenty minutes.Not that it matters of course.
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It turns my stomach.BWA-HA-HA-HA! See what I did there?No, I think certainly, my eyes are weaker than they've ever been. I'm experiencing issues with focus and with reading. That's got have an impact.But, also, it's the subject matter that has embraced this whole current 3D fad. You know Geek Adventure is my least favorite genre.Also - might as well beat the dead horse - I'm just really not impressed with the idea. My mind has always done the necessary 3-dimensionalizing of two dimensional entertainment for me. Painters add perspective. Cinematographers do the same thing. Life is in three dimensions. I'm fairly used to it. Imitation three dimension technology just doesn't tickle my nethers.
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You probably knew that already.
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movie tickets.
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Mar 02, 2010 7:45:26 PM CST
More than likely that alt-key thing is the secret, Flick.
by subtitles_off
I wonder if anyone has tried to use to force a two-line handle?
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Wouldn't that, you know, crack the internet in half or something?
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...to what your eyes do in real life...it's just an attempt to make movies binocular instead of monocular.The guys in the 1800's just figured that a camera has one lens, but we have two, and our brain assembles the result into one image...why not give a camera two lenses too?It's no more gimmicky than a normal photograph...or a series of photographs that give the illusion of a moving picture.I can't believe I'm making this argument. I was dead set against 3-D...and it's one more nail in the coffin of my chosen profession.
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...that has spaces in it and then just swap out the words to make your own thing?...I just cut and paste alt symbols whenever possible...
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Is it the expanded mars attacks or what?? Regardless still a fun score
-
of Lt. Calls into Sickbay.“What happened to him?” asked Dr. Morbius, Chief Medical Officer, CMO, of the USS Gary Oldman.“He was reluctant to leave the Holodeck.” Stabby left it at that.“I see,” said Morbius. “Put him up here on the ‘nostic bed, will you? Flickapoo is on his way.”“What was he like when you found him, Lieutenant ?”Stabby stopped for a moment and considered his words. “BUG FUCK CRAZY,” was the answer he finally settled on. “He kept taking calls for someone named ‘Scorpio’….and there were calls for him ALL the time. At least that’s what he told me right before I knocked him the FUCK out.”“Interesting. Let’s see what the ‘gnostic bed tells us…Hmmmm? What‘s this?”“Doctor?”“Scans are showing some kind of growth in his right ear.”The doors to Sickbay swished and Counselor Flickapoo entered at a dead run. “What happened?”Stabby stood upright. “Lt. Calls would NOT leave the holodeck as ordered by the Captain.”“Relax, the both of you,” Dr. Morbius told them. “I’ve found the problem…”And with that the doctor pulled a 1 ½ inch scorpion like slug out of Lt. Calls right ear. The hideous arachnid squirmed and twisted trying to extract itself from the tweezers the good doctor held in his hand. “Those things AGAIN???” Stabby forced the implanted blades in his fore-arm to extend and stepped toward the wriggling parasite. “I hate spybugs…”“WAIT!!!” yelled Flick. “…We need to know who sent it…who infected and hijacked Lt. Call’s brain with it…I think I understand what the ‘call center’ holodeck program was all about….These bugs are psychic, they soak up all information from those it meets and store it in the host‘s brain as a call from Scorpio….”“I can make contact…I can end this. ”Stabby stopped and considered the counselor’s words as weighed against his hatred of spybugs. Suddenly, he thought he saw a Portuguese man laughing hysterically out of the corner of his eye. But, when he turned to look , the strange man was gone.
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...the mythical twelve-inch penis of talkback...
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defending a technology. And I'm just dismissing it as unnecessary, adding very little to my personal enjoyment of a movie.Now, when you come up with the reasoning that suggests 3D makes a superior movie-watching experience, then, we'll have an argument.
-
I settled for a used copy of the OST. It DOES, however, have Indian Love Call. I'm excited to put that on my Ipod.
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annoy you while you're surfing the internet. They'll actually pop out and poke you in the eye.You can't tell me that's a necessary improvement. And, you might be looking forward to that day, but I'm not.I'd much rather the best and brightest technological minds were working on feeding the starving or something.
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I thought Cheeses was holding out on us!
-
http://tinyurl.com/yl8wh95
Case closed. -
Here I was, getting ready to post the first installment of MY story, and here you come all da-dada-dada with your (hilariou) next installment. Now I gotta wait a little longer. But that's ok. Gotta get QuickaPoo in there.
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dumb dummy
-
of intellignence.
-
The cornerstone of a good argument.
-
Feel free to start anytime...Didn't stop Bi-polar babe from running her great story. The more stories we get to follow at once makes it like one of those old comics with 3 to 6 pages of a story combined with 3 to 6 pages of several other stoories...Viva la Revolution...
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Now I finally know what is behind Geek Nation's fascination with 3D. Closest many of them might ever get.But Flick, you have ease of access to the real deal.
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But I pride myself on my meticulousity. Meticulousness? Meticulousitude? Ah, fuck it.
-
I couldn't bring myself to eliminate EITHER one of the o's...I just couldn't...
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You want me to put it up in parts in The Archive? You summarized for EffDub at one point, so that could be the start of the second half. It would make it easy for anyone who might have missed a chapter to keep current.
-
Until then...
-
i'll be working that in every day, by the way. just popping in to catch up. Start the story ted. the more the better. I'll check back later. weird how i have more time to spend here at work than on my days off.
-
...I'll have to let my 3-D über-boobie link speak for itself.
-
Easier referencing, if you don't mind doing it...The story's about 1/2 done,...IF...I don't keep side-barring...But we haven't even reached the Misogyny system or Nazareth yet...and lots of peebers haven't even had a cameo yet...Plus...Teddy hasn't even read the part about when 'Magical Mystery Tour' Water-shit tells him he's the original Blue Beetle...
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It could go on forever.
-
...at least one of you has seen the new Gorillaz video.
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the bosom giclees like Jell-O®.
-
Because 3-D causes are eyes to completely react different to a 2-D image. Even if our mind can fill in the blanks it is not the same as actually seeing an actual 3-D image.
When you see something in 3-D you are experiencing an image in a completely different way than what you are used to and that will cause a different emotional response. When the film pioneers experimented they realized that freeze frames, slo mo, fast mo, reverse and jump cuts all had an emotional reaction to them. Our minds might be able to "imagine" a dramatic scene is slo motioned, but that isn't the same as actually seeing something under or over cranked. We our minds might be able to fill in the gaps for 2-D images but that isn't the same emotion reaction you get from an actual 3-D image.
I don't think 3-D will change everything about movies like they are advertising but it will have a bigger impact than some suspect. It will be be bigger than 70mm because it is adding an even bigger tool to a filmmaker's palette. -
Avatar is like Disney's Steamboat Willy = [Deleted]...Did Steamboat Willy win an Oscar?
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But I'm back
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Mar 02, 2010 10:07:34 PM CST
Avatar is like Disney's Steamboat Willy = [Deleted]...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
That sentence cannot be diagrammed...It is a game changer...
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Mar 02, 2010 10:12:55 PM CST
I BEEN WAITIN' for FUCKIN' holographic movies...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
for over 35 FUCKIN' YEARS!!!!!!!!
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Is your acting
Did you ever get that ap? -
...a chair that elevates, tilts, and jolts, along with fans blowing wind at you, and a memory cloth that conforms to any shape, hard or soft, emulating what's on screen, that touches various parts of your body.
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I don't get to the Sharper Image as often as I would like...
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Yeah it is...yeah I got the app
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Fuck. We could speak in code.
any or or watch any that was good lately? -
it looks like square talk...all those empty boxes...WHAT DO THEY MEAN???
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No havent had theto © anything but i am excited to abouy that kurosawa marathon
-
Treat Williams was in Empire Strikes Back. Those rare photos show him with Carrie Fisher. Can you actually see him in the background of any scenes?
-
See what I did there?
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Why are my lips so swelled? Did I eat some shellfish????
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"Jess Allashane - Echo Base Trooper / Jerrol Blendin - Cloud City Trooper" in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.
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was an extra in each and every one of the 'Halloween' movies...True story...
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are you guys talking about giclees?
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They don't need no stinking last letter.
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is some Alaskan ladies kid
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...forgot the 3-D.
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Like the temple of the Incas.
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Mar 02, 2010 11:07:12 PM CST
Equatin' me and Scorses in the same company, Subs...?
by cheeses_of_nazareth
Fogeddaboutit...
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not sure if it has been mentioned. The video of his ski crash was great
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Profile image at Googleville.http://tinyurl.com/yzn5o5h
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I played it. It's a great game. Pick it up.
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Not the Wii version.
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http://i.imgur.com/yQQvd.png
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http://www.yoism.org/images/ChapatiJesus.jpg
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It would be clearer.
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the story of him humming the theme walking down the street was good too.
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Either a famous drag queen or an unsuccessful 3rd Party Candidate.
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Can you make that happen? I am COMPLETELY computer illiterate...
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http://brachinus.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/jesus-cheese-on-toast.jpg
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http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/f/ff/CheesyJesus.jpg
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rune-ing it into the ground.
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HHHHHAAAA!!!! Reminds me of George Carlin in Dogma...Buddy Jesus...
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The very last one is a good one, too.
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http://www.e-imagesite.com/Files/123706010263748877613645118.jpg
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...someone REALLY loves Cheesus.
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But, Jeez-its is my fave....Oddly enough...I was just asking my daughter earlier today how I could link a photo (if I found a good one) to my profile...Pedalback synchronocity strikes again...
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I'M BLIND!!!!!
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...night guys. Watch out for Boner Toast®
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So I won't go to bed with the image of Boner Toast® on my mind.Jebus!
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...I must be 12.
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Check the shelter files.
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Sweet dreams, and watch out for Freddy Kruggers...
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Lemme go crazy for a minute there with excitement.... AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
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two beers ago...Better late than never, I always say...
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shit is going down
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its more of a gauge than an alert.
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Luke, at home on the farm, uses his binoculars to watch a space battle happening waaaay above the planet's surface. The battle? He's watching the Star Destroyer attack Princess Leia's ship from the beginning of the movie.
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i give girls this alert as well but it means a very different thing.
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...but please use the instructions.
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I have enjoyed every episode I have ever seen, but it is the kind of show that I will only get into when some local station shows seqential episodes each day at the same time...Like I did with 'Babylon 5'....And the early 'Law and Order's'...plus 'CSI', 'Criminal Minds' and 'NCIS'...
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Historical Jesus was a bum. He didn't fight, though. He was fought OVER and AT.
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Is that Mel Gibson's Jesus with that photo-shopped cheese on his head? Cause, I could totally get behind that...
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At the corner of Hollywood and Vine that guy has a cup and a cane.
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Mar 03, 2010 12:16:50 AM CST
It's not Jim Caviezel. It's just some guy from Google Images.
by anonymoose
It's probably from a reenactment at the Holy Land Experience theme park.
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late, but i'm still laughing at that moose.
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and his twelve 'enforcers' kicked the everlovin' shit out of the livestock/sacrifice vendors who were just there to make money off of the lazy wannabe 'safe' Sanheddren clones...And you know it...
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Cheese_of_Nazareth and his 12 PBers with Scary as Mary Magdalene and AsimovLives as Pontius Pilate. They fight livestock/sacrifice vendors.
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NSFW
http://tinyurl.com/ygqtrzj
/NSFW
You have been warned. -
when they found out he betrayed Jesus to the Romans...They made it look like a suicide.Thus was born the Jesus Industrial Complex...Keep an eye out for JICs...
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i hate myself. I blame the Beam but I can't stay mad at it.
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It might confuse other Pbers.
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What am I trying to figure out...?Nobody told me there was gonna be a TEST!!!Narrow it down...
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That scene was in the Original Paperback Novel that I actually bought at a B.Dalton Bookseller before the movie ever came out...
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BOOYAH!
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There are pictures of that online too. Those are the pics where Luke is wearing his goofy floppy desert hat nowhere seen in the finished film.
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shootin' womrats in 'Beggers Canyon'
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What's it ya?
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...the limit for upload, so I resized it.
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I don't remember it taking this long to show up.
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Let's trade photos when I'm semi-sober...I really want the Buddy Christ Jeez-its pic....
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Let's trade photos when I'm semi-sober...I really want the Buddy Christ Jeez-its pic....
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Mar 03, 2010 1:19:37 AM CST
Cheeses, you have to click the "Save" button at the bottom...
by anonymoose
...after you select the part of the image you want to use (you can resize the selection by moving the mouse to the edges).
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coming over the horizon rules each of our days in one way or another..
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Place smells like rancid foot and polar bear feces. I'll just come back later.
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Mar 03, 2010 1:23:12 AM CST
I put a perfectly cropped version in the welcome message for you
by anonymoose
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What picture do I get on my profile?
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You get that one. Just make sure the selection box is selecting the whole thing.
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Check it out when you're sober.
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but, not on the profile...Maybe tomorrow...I told you I was computer illiterate...
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Mar 03, 2010 1:41:34 AM CST
Since I'm obviously just not gonna get it, tonight...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
Sorry, Moose.I wish you all peace and tolerance util we meet again tomorrow around 6 PM, CST...Til then,...Nytol....
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The one modeled after his own voice. That made me a bit teary, seeing that. Sniff.
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*sniff*
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Whoa. Friendly/Scary's story was great.
Big D, how can you recommend Yojimbo but not the 1-2 punch with the sequel Sanjuro? Every time I watch 'em I can't decide which one I like more. And I guess I'll be faced with that again in a coupla weeks when the Criterion Blu-ray versions come out. I don't believe in the "have to replace your library" bullshit, but I'm sure as hell re-buying those!
And add me to those who loved WTWTA.
And Red Beard is awesome. It also has a killer Polish poster. -
Those 3d boobies distracted me from work. That's a compliment though.
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Did you read the story about how they did that? Or was that posted here... can't remember. About how they thought it'd be no problem getting samples from the show but that all of them were unusable.
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Today's weather isand hopefully no
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Holy fucking shit.
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http://tinyurl.com/y9nt7k4
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See ya in a bit.
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Which goes to show, even the country's greatest living director says some asinine things when prompted.
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hit you with a frying pan? Then you'll really get the full effect.Thanks, Col., for ruining my day...GRIN.
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What a rough nite I was hitting the hard last night then i thought why not fo somewoke up next to a and felt like
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March 2nd, 2010...A clip from Steve Martin's ALL OF ME (http://tinyurl.com/yg5q7y5) ...The Gorillaz' "Stylo" video features Bruce Willis (http://tinyurl.com/yhq2wsj) ...Stabby digs THE LAST PICTURE SHOW and wonders what might have become of Peter Bogdanovich if he hadn't been chained at the waist to Cybill Shepherd...Real-world soldiers complain that THE HURT LOCKER doesn't accurately represent them...Col. and the future Mrs. Col. have finalized some wedding plans which do NOT include the ELECTRIC FUCKING SLIDE...If you thought pork roll was a strange thing for people to put in their mouths, consider scrapple, which Stabby insists is delicious despite knowing what it's made of. (http://tinyurl.com/r7qau) ...If you're still hungry, how about a little Creamed Chipped Beef on toast, also called "Shit on a Shingle"...Col. predicts The Oscars...Several Peebers won't eat seafood...If life were a cartoon, our chicken legs would be the size of dinosaur thighs and we could carelessly drop heavy things on our siblings just to hear the "BOING"...Flick got no post-movie wokka-wokka after watching WORLD'S GREATEST DAD...Sixies shares the details on Turner Classic Movies upcoming Akira Kurosawathon. (http://tinyurl.com/ycgcrcd) ...The Peebers play a round of "My Kurosawa Is Bigger Than Yourosawa," and 'Lop wins, having seen 23 of the 33 films he directed. But, he also confuses IKIRU with the name of a sushi roll, "ikura," so we can hold that over him forever and embarrass him with it when he makes us envious of his classic film knowledge. If you can't beat 'em, be petty...Auto-erotic asphyxiation, like heavy bench-pressing, is always safer done with a spotter, advises Flick...Series suggests everyone should see RUNAWAY TRAIN, an 80s masterpiece starring Jon Voight and Eric Roberts and based on a screenplay by Kurosawa...I was also unaware that Kurosawa wrote the Japanese sequences of TORA! TORA! TORA!...MacReady channels STLost and rates THE CRAZIES ★★★☆☆...Whenever Wesley Snipes says something mundane [Everyone laughs]...Quoting from THE SIMPSONS...☆☆RIGHT-BRAIN CINEMA☆☆™: TIME OUT - a French mid-life crisis drama that I found stirring; 'Lop a little less-so. ★★★★☆...Glengarry Glen Ross Ultimate Abuse Mix, courtesy savagedave. "Get them to sign on the line that is dotted." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewqqNyb-AQ4) ...SITA SINGS THE BLUES streams freely. (http://www.sitasingstheblues.com/) ...MESHES OF THE AFTERNOON - film short from 1943 and film class assignment ever since. (http://tinyurl.com/yc3kv2o) ...Word of The Month: Sacrilicious - (adj) Yummy but spiritually risky, like Communion wafers with sour cream dip...Ebert on Oprah, condensed to the good bits but with useless blond airhead added. (http://tinyurl.com/yzu5f5j) ...Teddy teases with the promise of a new story but takes it back for a re-write...Rare photos from the set of STAR WARS remind Vades of a deleted plot sequence that would've involved Stormtroopers and rampaging Wampas. (http://tinyurl.com/yeazgyy) ...SNL spoofs "Oprah." (http://tinyurl.com/b43xzx) ...Flick reads about the history of 3D in the current issue of The New Yorker magazine...Disgustin_Justin would like to know how to lose the underscore from his Talkback handle...Cheeses is at the half-way point of "Pedaltrek: TNG." the first half will be posted at Googleville for members. ( http://tinyurl.com/yz3kena) ... and 'Lop speak to each other in hieroglyphs...Treat Williams had a dual role in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, but he's hidden behind Stormtrooper helmets...Flick picks Cheeses' profile picture. (http://i.imgur.com/yQQvd.png), and 'moose helps Cheeses get it loaded...WARNING: If you think you might be offended by seeing a photo of something accurately described as "boner toast," do not link to this photograph of Boner Toast®: (http://tinyurl.com/yal9elh) ...Vades expels a heavy sigh for tonight's episode of "Lost"... -
Bring back Sheriff Lobo!
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Just saying hi. Now I'm off to work.
Oh, an if you feel from maybe go or take a and you'll feel -
subs you seeing ALICE?are we on for monday session?
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...the Cosmorama, the Motoscope, the Thaumatrope, the Phenakistoscope, the Stereophoroskop, the Kinimoscope, the photobioscope, the Praxinoscope, the Heliocinegraphe, the Zoopraxiscope (not to be confused with the Zoopraxinoscope, otherwise known as the Zoogyroscope), the Kinetoscope, the Mutoscope, the Anaglyph, the Polarizer, the Alethoscope, and the Vitagraph.
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marty was prolly asked by some idiot reporter from MTV (yknow the ones who always ask old directors like Zemeckis--when will we see Roger Rabbit 2 or BTTF 4? we really wanna see it!!) if 3D is the next wave and marty shrugged it off "sure, why not kid?"thats gotta be it..yeah. thats gotta be it.
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Mar 03, 2010 10:40:23 AM CST
,,,the most significant was Thomas Edison's Kinetoscope...
by flickapoo
...patent 1893, that ran a strip of stereoscopic images rapidly forward at a regular speed...the result would have been a kind of hasty peepshow...pictures in motion rather than a motion picture.
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...too much maybe.
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http://tinyurl.com/yz7mbao
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I only saw boxes.
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Directed by the guy who directed Cabin Fever 2. The filmmakers are going for a retro early *80's late 70's horror film feel here and are mostly successful even to the point of this not being that good of a movie. Had it not been for the eye candy of the adorable lead actress, Jocelin Donahue who looks like a teenage Karen Allen, this film would have been completely unwatchable. Mainly because nothing really happens, scary or otherwise until about an hour into the film. The story involves a college girl who takes a job as a babysitter in a creepy house where things aren't what they seem. And the payoff is not all that great or frightening either. I will say this, if your looking for a good date movie or a horror film to to introduce a girl to horror who doesn't like scary movies I don't think you can go wrong with this movie. And there may be just enough chills at the end to make her clench onto your arm a little. But, true horror buffs will be disappointed. I'm giving this one ** out of 5 stars.
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Too long to attack at work. Anthony Lane tries my patience sometimes, too. He can turn a phrase, and he's as catty as Addison Dewitt, but sometimes he's just as insufferable as his ALL ABOUT EVE hero.
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than The House of the Devil.
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When I first heard of it, I thought, "Wow, that sounds like one hell of a exploitation picture. That will be too crazy to pass up!" Now I'm confused by all the awards-season gloss. Jim Emerson says it works better when you look at it as trash cinema. I guess I'll just have to ignore the Perry, Oprah and Oscar endorsements when I finally do watch it.
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...cryptic looking boxes Col. That's all I see too.
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that it's like a an early Waters/Divine movie and I'm actually looking forward to seeing it now. Comes out next week, right?
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...cuts right to what we really need to know.
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The lead actress, Jocelin Donahue, really is THE movie and she's quite a good little actress as well as being girl next door yummy. I predict a big breakout role for her soon. And if they ever did a Young Indiana Jones movie she could definitely play young Marion.
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http://tinyurl.com/ydkrujf
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Mar 03, 2010 11:23:17 AM CST
I'm surprised no one's made a Precious/Silence of the Lambs spoo
by stabby
yet. 'moose calling: if there's such a thing please post it.
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HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, until the payoff. The waiting, the ennui, the isolation, the chilliness of the whole thing made it seem like Antonioni's take on 80s horror. The climax was a big disappointment, though, because it was so, so STANDARD. Either make your climactic freakout so bizarre that it'll never leave your audience's mind, or just stick to the subtle, ambiguous, atmospheric stuff.
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But, don't you think pretty much that had it been any other actress it could have easily become unwatchable.
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But I had never heard of her or seen her before this movie. I'm sure there are some talented and cute ladies out there who could have pulled it off.
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the HBO series premieres. Brand synchronicity and all that stuff. After this long, books five, six and seven could well be done.
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the Pedalback. If there are any, that is.
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I just thought she had a naturalness to her performance that is usually lacking in these types of movies. Horror movies almost always have cute girls, but few are very good actresses. And the fact that a large portion of the film is just her acting by herself and she makes it work and enjoyable to watch leads me to believe that she may be more than your average B movie actress.
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We're on for Monday. We'll have to work around your work schedule? Monday early morning or night or what? Would a Sunday "Some Guy & Some Other Guy Pre-Oscar Special" be better?
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...good? I've heard of the books, but I've been burned by new fantasy so many times I've mostly given up...
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I'll wait to see if he wants to change it before I take down the instructions.
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It's fantasy, yes, but aside from the sword and sorcery stuff, it feels more like an intricately plotted yet pulpy medieval political thriller. It really is perfect for an HBO adaptation. I would describe it as THE WIRE meets ROME in Middle Earth by way of the Wars of the Roses. The fourth book is a bit of a letdown, though, since it was supposedly part of a much bigger volume. The fifth book, the other part of the volume, has been in limbo for years now, frustrating many.
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I got about 100 pages in before other stuff pulled me away. I'm going to give it another go soon. I'm invested in the series- I have books 1-3 already... but that book requires some dedication.
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Type @ yas later.
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with Harry
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...I! SHOULD BE WATCHING PONYO RIGHT NOW WITH MY TODDLER!!!MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!
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...right not. I really can't believe you haven't read much Ursula K. LeGuin, I think you might really love her stuff.
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Right now, I'm laboring through Stranger in a Strange Land (not what I expected, by the way ... ), and then I'll sample Gormenghast with Titus Groan. Then LeGuin.
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...a request?" Yes, yes I would.
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...we should really do short book reviews here too...
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I really dug it. I prefer it to the movie, and I'm a huge Cronenberg fan.
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I also checked out "VALIS" by Philip K Dick. I'm only 3 chapters in but this book is a triiiiiiiiiip.
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at the library, bring it back on the designated day! I don't care if the late fees are cheap, other people want to view this stuff! My "12 Monkeys" reserve is being held up by people who should have returned them on Feb 11th and the 25th. WTHeck?
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I have a friend, the one who uses the uncertainty principle to validate her evangelistic belief in God and Jesus, who swears by VALIS. She has very good taste in things, save for the religion bit.
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...um, Dick himself. Great ideas, but not really my style of writing.
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I believe she plays a hot lesbian who gets murdered in the first half hour.
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http://tinyurl.com/yjy73wu
One policeman trips and falls to the ground, while another drops his gun. -
Mar 03, 2010 1:17:52 PM CST
...ha! Really 'moose? In my experience it's the opposite...
by flickapoo
...she likes dick itself much more than the idea of it."...yeah, I know it's great...and it's free! I'm telling you, we could be doing this ALL the time."
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Mar 03, 2010 1:21:52 PM CST
...good thing those officers aren't stripping telegram cops...
by flickapoo
...they wouldn't last a day on the job.
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THATS MY NIECE SAYING HI
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...my daughter says HI back.
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Don't use the bucket. It'll just confuse you
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three amigos!i meant to tell ya yesterday but my iphone was jerking my chain..then i forgot about it...but thanks for keeping the Mighty-L alive!!
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Take a Little Girl to Work Day™?
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with its banned producer..now this--A U.S. Army bomb disposal expert has filed a lawsuit against the makers of the Oscar-nominated movie The Hurt Locker, claiming that screenwriter and producer Mark Boal based the movie’s main character, Will James, on him. Master Sgt. Jeffrey Sarver filed a multimillion-dollar lawsuit in a U.S. District court in New Jersey on Tuesday, alleging that “The Hurt Locker motion picture and DVD are nothing more than an exploitation of a real life honorable, courageous, long serving member of our armed forces, by greedy multi-billion dollar ‘entertainment’ corporations.” Among those named in the suit are Boal, director Kathryn Bigelow, distributor Summit Entertainment.
At a news conference today, Sarver’s lawyer said that the article Boal wrote about Sarver for Playboy in 2005 was later adapted for the scribe’s Hurt Locker screenplay and that situations in the movie labeled as fiction were accounts from Sarver’s real-life experiences in the field. Sarver also claims that he coined the phrase “The Hurt Locker” for Boal.
In a statement responding to the suit, Summit said, “We have no doubt that Master Sgt. Sarver served his country with honor and commitment risking his life for a greater good, but we distributed the film based on a fictional screenplay written by Mark Boal. We hope for a quick resolution to the claims made by Master Sgt. Sarver.”
The lawsuit, filed the same week as the Oscars, comes one day after the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences denied Hurt Locker producer Nicolas Chartier entry to the show, ruling that an email he sent encouraging people to vote for his film, and disparaging fellow Best Picture contender Avatar, violated the Academy’s strict campaigning rules.
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Yeah, the style of writing is off for me too. I thought I'd try and get through it though, heard a lot about it in the LOST talkbacks.
I was looking through the Google books one day, and happened upon "Treasure Island". I read the first few pages, and was immediately impressed with RLS's style of writing and will look for the book at the library. -
How you knew I had just begun to lurk in the shadows I have no idea, tho.
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i think Precious or Blind Side is gonna..i can see it getting past avatar and THL..i havent heard anything negative about precious..so it might sneak in for the win..
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i really cant say anything negative about elfman..and i hear that ALICE is really old school..that may be good or bad...im down for it though..
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Just yesterday I was reading a story about Dick and 'Valis' in Fortean Times magazine. There's a plate of shrimp for ya.
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I think I only need the title track from Mars Attacks. There's a few other, decent tracks but the main titles is the one that kills me. Oh, and Indian Love Call, of course.
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throughout the branches. PRECIOUS? I can't see it happening.
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Who I want to win at the Oscars. (Note: just because I prefer an actor/actress doesn't mean I actually saw their movie.) Picture (just five, in order of preference): 1. BASTERDS 2. UP 3. A SERIOUS MAN 4. AVATAR 5. THE HURT LOCKER Director: Tarantino Actor: Bridges Actress: Gabourey Sidibe (mostly because it would blow fucking minds) Supporting actor: Waltz Supporting actress: Mo'Nique (Fuck it. Why not?) Original screenplay: BASTERDS Adapted screenplay: IN THE LOOP
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He just made the new Conan movie worth watching!
"From me...to you. Me to youuuuu!" -
--tombstone
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seems like a mellow guy..wouldnt know it from the roles he plays
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hehe
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...he should just shut the fuck up and be proud that a movie has been made about him. If all he wants is money, I say give it to him.
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Ike or the Party Crasher. In fact, that's downright frightening.
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more interesting ... but the guy cast as Conan (he's in the HBO A GAME OF THRONES series, btw, and cast in a more appropriate role) and Marcus Nispel still make it very, very skippable.
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I first heard that in 'Demolition Man', about fifteen years ago.
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...you can borrow from real life events to fill out your fictional story. People do it all the time. It's not wrong.
He's calling them greedy? To me, the greedy people seem to be the ones that say, "Hey, those guys made a movie about me! Where's my money!?" -
I've never been real big on Robert E. Howard, anyway. If it's rated R it might be worth a matinee, but otherwise I'll wait for the DVD.
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Article came out...or when the film was released a year ago...
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He was there with him for that reason, apparently.
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Lots of monochromatic lighting. He's like a grittier Len Wiseman.
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...Drum up a little publicity? I think Hollywood is fucked up enough that we shouldn't discount this as a possibility.
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That's an astute observation.
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THE HURT LOCKER falls off, especially with the preferential balloting system. I can see BASTERDS as the kind of movie that wins despite not getting the most No. 1 votes.
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Awkward...
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...psst! Hey, buddy...here's 10 million dollars. Go sue Kathryn Bigelow for 20 million for me, will ya? You can drop the suit right after the Oscars, see?...and I'll give you the original 10...deal?
Whaddya say, Kid? -
Locker deserves it, though.
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Kicking off with 3 Inches of Blood - "Dominion of Deceit" and "Deadly Sinners" then moving to Manowar...
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Then this guy, or whoever's in his ear, timed this to take advantage of what is likely to be THE HURT LOCKER's newfound notoriety as a Best Picture winner.
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has the inside dirt on who's gonna win and talked the guy into "frontrunning" the win by complaining so publicly.
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I've actually not seen Yojimbo (But I own it as well). I didn't realize they couldn't use Ebert's voice clips? That's odd, bc for days they've said they were, and then the next day they say they can't? Seems like a really quick window to determine that.
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Mar 03, 2010 2:58:42 PM CST
Anyone download for free Elfman's Alice theme for the new Alice?
by d.vader
From Amazon? Holy CRAP its awesome. Its so old-school Elfman. I LOVE the theme to Mars Attacks! and just as that musical piece fit the film perfectly, I think this one for Alice will do the same. Can't wait to see it on the bigscreen and hear the rest of Elfman's score. Get thee to Amazon and decide for yourself!
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...that Alice is definitely in Elfman's wheelhouse. To bad I can't get sound at work.
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Watched it again last night. He gets into a fight with HIMSELF ffs. Top that, Cloonster!
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http://tinyurl.com/yz67n9t
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To COOL stuff like this before. I wonder if its a limited time offer deal or something. Either way, I'm super happy they did it!
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then by childhood can be put to rest...
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They almost always have free MP3s, though. The important thing is that, unlike iTunes and Zune, their music contains no Digital Rights Management. You can do whatever you want with the files (copy, burn, play them on your iPod, Zune, send them, anything).
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http://tinyurl.com/ylsgzgp
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http://tinyurl.com/yzsk5e7
Look to the right. There's the top free songs and below that are the top free albums. -
Or maybe I don't. Actually the guy who edited my Christmas Chainsaw Massacre short put some Scrooged tracks in there. I never got any for myself =(.
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...is pretty comprehensive. I dig on it quite a bit. Same with Midnight Run, actually.
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a;djfpon ousdfah;e09[08gr
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Nonsense just gets the juices flowing.
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Gake no ue no Ponyo (Ponyo On A Cliff By The Sea)2008. Animated. Japanese. Subtitled.Directed by Hayao MiyazakiThis latest Studio Ghibli feature is likely to delight younger children with its bright colors, bubble-popping sound design, and buckets full of charm, while adults can appreciate the wonderful details and some gorgeously-realized scenes of magic under the sea. But, there's also a flatness to the character design and story, a slight re-imagining of THE LITTLE MERMAID. There's a stunning opening involving hundreds of hand-drawn jellyfish being fed psychedelic drops by an underwater sorcerer, an exciting tsunami, and marvelous prehistoric creatures swimming through a flooded village. There are also gentle nudges about pollution and acceptance, but the thing resolves in a shallow puddle, reminding me less of HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE or MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO and more of KIKI's DELIVERY SERVICE. Minor Miyazaki.★★★☆☆
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I think I killed it
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This is one Santa who's going out the front door!
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'Go back ta Jersey ya moron!'
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TWSS?I completely understand "toddler" and can translate it for you. "I want a cookie."I am surprised mac's niece will get near him, so soon after. THE HURT LOCKER should take notes for future negative campaigning from all of this recent wah-wah. Subtlety, dude. Make it so it can't be traced back to you.
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Oh I use that line from Scrooged almost every day.
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I think.
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in movies. He seems like a guy who could fit right in with Tarantino, actually.
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...HOLD THE GODDAMN HAMMERING!"
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I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you."Little Bigfoot eat Bambi?""No, Bilbo, no!!!"
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...people can't work...
I'm tired...
I'm my back hurts...
I'M ONLY FOOOOOUUUR!! -
...it might work with the chicks...but not with me.
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...I'm going to RIP YOUR GODDAMN WINDS OFF.
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...I'm there. And HOWL is my least favorite.
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and they're looking really hard too..
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Mar 03, 2010 4:42:36 PM CST
...I never liked a girl enough to give her twelve sharp knives..
by flickapoo
...that should be Stabby's quote at The Shelter.
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Mar 03, 2010 4:48:59 PM CST
...if I work late, you gotta work late! If you can't work late.
by flickapoo
...I can't work late! And if I can't work late...I CAN'T WORK LATE!
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Good to see how much that movie sticks with people.
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...I'm gonna give you a little advice, [whoever I'm talking to]... Scrape 'em off. You wanna save somebody? [taps head] Save yourself.
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he does his richard burton impressionI AM MARC ANTHONY. I SWEAR BY THEE I FORSWEAR!
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But I laughed anyway. Bill Murray is a comedy god.
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...you get greedy for it, you want that feeling all year long.
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FEED ME SEYMOUR! FEED ME!!
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I just watched Little Shop last night! I know Murray quotes it at the end of Scrooged, but still. By the way, what was the Landis quote from earlier? Ya got me.
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I still think he shoulda got a nomination for that movie.
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is not that the kid talks, it's that Bill gets choked up by it.
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I'M ALIVE!"
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...came out. I didn't see it until a couple of years later on video because everyone said it sucked.I've watched it every year since.
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upon release. I caught it on HBO when I was younger and fell in love with it.
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... when I'm forced to do work (that I don't wanna do) around the house with my girlfriend. Flicak beat me to it. "My back hurts, my leg aches... I'M ONLY FOOOOOUR!!!" She never gets it and just shakes her head.
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Hence, the value of the comparison.
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BOOM! Four minutes forty-seven seconds!
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Time to roll. Doin' my taxes tonight, and then the future Mrs. is taking me out to a fancy and elegant meal at our nearby Chili's. Have a good one. See y'all in the morning.
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In front of a fireplace! Now.. I have to KILL all of you!
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...true...and it's good to know where to set your expectations.Good review Subs, thanks.
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But I love doing it.
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Tedders it's coming to america
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That would explain it.
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Ivan Reitman is nominated for an Oscar! Sure, it's as a producer of 'Up in the Air', but still....
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Master Sgt. Jeffrey Sarver
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Brooklyn's Finest isn't faring well with critics, so far.
-
Let's not get litigious here."
-Frank Bannister -
What's the Party Platform?
-
http://tinyurl.com/yc559tw
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Well, Scrooged quotes were the order of the day, but they're pretty much exhausted by now...
-
Mar 03, 2010 6:30:28 PM CST
Thanks, Moose (I'm assuming) for fixing my pic...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
at the shelter...Sorry, I got you so aggravated last night, but, I REALLY don't know shit about computers...and I know even less after 12 beers....
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Not one mention of Friday the 13th 3-D. Pffft.
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But prolly no mention of Friday the 13th 3-D there either.
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...in case you want to fix the image. As of now, the "Jeez-it" is cut off.
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Clint Eastwood in [deleted]2: The Big Blue One...In Camtech 30D!!!!
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Mar 03, 2010 6:45:49 PM CST
Cool, Thanks, Moose...In fact I just found the message...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
I will cautiously attempt to practice that internet voo-doo that y'all all do so well...
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proper plural forms of the word 'y'all'....Texas State Dictionary
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Yeah, he could play the father of Stephen Lang's Col. Quidditch.
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It should be impossible to not get it right this time.
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I decided not to risk fuckin' it up so I called in my computer guru, Darling Daughter, the queen of My Space, Facebook and other related social networking sites. She fixed it post haste with a minimum of magical cyber-incantation, and then she told me I was definately retarded, and how could she get a government check for taking care of me..?
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You make me wish a girl would let me fill her belly up with idiot children.
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Obviously I'm not insulting your darling daughter.
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You should let white_vader use your White Vader pic.
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Mar 03, 2010 7:18:22 PM CST
In all honesty...relying on computer savvy family members..
by cheeses_of_nazareth
has made me lazy...My second wife was a fucking WIZARD of computers having learned programming on DOS back in the day and understood everything about Windows... We bought our first home computer together when we were told that you could get faster than a 333 Mgh but, really, that would be like cooking instant rice in a microwave... I discovered the internent first and bought a connector, (after I asked the salesman how many Internets came in each box) but, she soon mastered it as well..So, really, there was never any reason for me to learn something she knew...Then, we got divorced...Thank my daughter grew up in an age when this type of sorcery is encouraged...
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...I mean she has to be...it's self evident.
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...where do I turn in my Pedalbacker card?Fucking kill me, now.
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That was meant for another talkback. Still, I'd smurf the shit out of L-Lo.
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That's awesome.
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...also, upload a profile image for yourself. Make it a good one.
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http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1739622912/tt0085334
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http://www.flicklives.com/Movies/Xmas_Story/flick.jpg
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...as my profile image. I deserve nothing better.
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See what I did there?
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http://tinyurl.com/ybycrpg
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...to poor Flick's tongue instead of that pole...
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Of course there is.Will Farrell or Steve Carell?I betcha it'll be in 3D, too!
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...I'm not sure how serious Google is when they say no nudity in your profile pic...
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Mar 03, 2010 7:45:30 PM CST
...Christina Hendricks for Ginger in 3-D GILLIGAN'S ISLAND!...
by flickapoo
...I believe the phrase is "done, and done".
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Frank and Beans on a shingle...
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http://goodbadandugly2.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/poo.jpg
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http://whipup.net/wp-content/images/pooknit.jpg
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You'll like it, I promise...
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http://media.photobucket.com/image/poo%20flicking/shivvermetimbers/Funny/baby-poo.jpg
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Like I said before...Lance Hendrickson as the Professor...Ned Beatty as The Skipper...Dane Cook as Gilligan,...
-
Mar 03, 2010 7:56:32 PM CST
...I was tentatively planning to use something like this...
by flickapoo
...don't worry, not a trap.
http://tinyurl.com/5f99tt -
...'moose, I'll be back to see what you've cooked up.
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...check the shelter files.
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What a player's song...!!!"You are the woman that I've alway's dreamed of...."I knew it from the start. "I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart...Yes, I am listening to the '70's station on my cable TV...
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the fast version...A song popular when cocaine was just on the rise in popularity in 1970...Coincidence? I THINK NOT!!!
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Mar 03, 2010 8:32:46 PM CST
Just thinking about the band 'Firefall' and that song...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
makes me really sad that AIDS had to come along and fuck up everybody's sex life after 1985...
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"Whoa, listen to the music...Listen to the music...All the TIIIIMMEE..."Came out not long after FM radio began to gain popularity with it's lack of news and weather plus comentary and often with out commercials (especially early on)...Coincidence?I THINK NOT!!!!
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Mar 03, 2010 8:42:25 PM CST
None of these coincidences have had the benefit...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
of even a cursory fact check...Just an FYI, if you catch my drift...
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on each song my TV plays for me that I like until somebody replies...And 10cc is playing "I'm Not in Love" even as i type this...
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Mar 03, 2010 8:47:52 PM CST
What do the bands 10 cc and The Lovin' Spoonfuls...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
have in common?Both are named after different measurements for the the average amount of male ejaculate spent in a single spooging...True Fucking Story...
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It's got a little bit of that energy that the original had. I hope this doesn't go the way of the 1990 TV adaptation.
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I forgot all about that song..."I said Hi," and she said, "Yeah, I guess I am." "The bombs bursting in the air....Ariel!!!HHHHHAAAAA!!!!
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...uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, uuUUUUUUNCLEEE!!
-
Way on the other side of the Hudson
Deep in the bosom of suburbia
I met a young girl
She sang mighty fine
Tears on my pillow
and Ave Maria
Standin' by the waterfall at Paramus park
She was workin' for the friends of BAI
She was collectin' quarters in a paper cup
She was lookin' for change
And so was I
She was a jewish girl
I fell in love with her
She wrote her number on the back of my hand
I called her up I was all outta breath
I said "Come hear me play in the rock and roll band"
I took a shower and I put on my best blue jeans
I picked her up in my new VW van
She wore a peasont blouse with nothin' underneath
I said "Hi"
She said "Yeah, I guess I am"
Ariel Ariel
We had a little time
We were real hungry
We went to Dairy Queen for somethin' to eat
She some onion rings, she had a pickle
She forgot to tell me that she didn't eat meat.
I had a gig in the American Legion hall
It was a dance for the volunteer ambulance corp
She was sittin' in her corner against the wall
She would smile and I melted all over the floor
Ariel Ariel
I took her home with me
We watchin' TV
Annette Funicello and some guy goin' steady
I started foolin' around with the vertical hold
We got the munchies and I made some spaghetti
We sat and we talked into the night
While channel two was signin' off the air
I found the softness of her mouth
We made love to bombs burstin' in air
Ariel Ariel
Ariel Ariel
Way on the other side of the Hudson
Deep in the bosom of suburbia
I met a young girl
She sang mighty fine
Tears on my pillow
and Ave Maria
Tears on my pillow
and Ave Maria
Tears on my pillow
and Ave Maria
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...at first I was disappointed to be only licking her neck...but I realized that if you move her up you cut off the head...and I don't want to be licking just any old giant beautiful breasts (wait, yes I do), I want to be licking Christina Hendricks' giant beautiful breasts.Well done.
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I hope you can get what you want with the selection box.
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...it doesn't work for me when I try it alone.
-
1. Log in to Google Groups.
2. If you're on the Google Groups homepage, click on the "View your full profile" link in the "My profile & stats" box on the right side of the page. You also can click on the "Profile" link at the top of any page in Groups.
3. To the right of the "My Profile" heading, click on the "edit" link.
4. Once you've finished entering your information, click on the "Save" button. -
Mar 03, 2010 9:20:22 PM CST
You have to save the image, you can't use a URL for your pic.
by anonymoose
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You have just made an important break-thru...Take a deep breath and don't allow yourself to get pressured here...Little River Band is playing "Riminiscing" on my TV...1978...
-
Mar 03, 2010 9:22:16 PM CST
...thanks 'moose, but I have a disabled learning ability...
by flickapoo
...and a poor attitude in class.I'll get Mrs. Poo to do it later...she won't mind. I read her all the good stuff we type here anyway.
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Rim-ininsing takes on a whole 'nother connotation...
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Mar 03, 2010 9:24:14 PM CST
No, really. It's quite easy. Just follow the instructions above.
by anonymoose
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...her face for Ralphie's. She won't want to miss out.
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both Dracula and Jesus rely on your INVITING them inside to work the Voo-Doo they do...
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...I'm stranded on the shitancient laptop. Everything takes forever...and it's missing three keys. Do you have ANY idea what it's like trying to talkback with no F key? It's like being fingerless in a finger fucking contest.
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...that's why I invite nobody inside. We'll talk on the fucking porch thank you very much.
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..."Vlad The Impaler"...
. Vlad The Impaler who?...
.
.
."Aren't you Vlad it's not a Jehovah's Witness? Those people will ruin your whole morning!". -
it handles 'fingerless', 'finger' and especially 'fucking' quite eloquently...Fences > porches
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..."Vlad"...
. Vlad who?...
.
.
.
"Aren't you Vlad I knocked on the front door?" -
on the keyboard when you spell 'fluff fluffer'?
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..."Vlad"...
. Vlad who?...
.
.
."Aren't you Vlad I knocked at all? Sometimes I just shove a sharp pole up your ass without warning"... -
Mar 03, 2010 9:48:08 PM CST
...I can type an F, but I have to stick my finger in the hole...
by flickapoo
...and wiggle it a little until I hit the sensor.
-
..."Vlad The Impaler"...
. Vlad The Impaler who?...
.
.
."Aren't you Vlad I lost my luggage at the airport? See, because I keep my impaling gear in my luggage...otherwise I'd be impaling you right now."
"So you should be Vlad about that". -
...I'm sorry 'moose.
I'm sorry I refuse to learn. -
I know Billy Paul personally...we have shared many a drink together. His wife is one of my best friend's older sister...Just for validation, Billy likes Southern Comfort and Diet Coke....and he moved to France after 9-11 because he was scared the US was about to collapse...Last time I saw him was Superbowl '05...I still have his personal phone number... Great human being...
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...here at AICN. I can't remember my email address...and putting information in all the little fucking boxes makes me anxious.
I read this site for years without ever posting...just because it never even occurred to me to fork over some personal info and fill out a few tiny fucking boxes. -
Which is quite good, actually. I highly recommend checking it out.
Here it is on Hulu: http://tinyurl.com/yg7nct5 -
Mar 03, 2010 10:08:32 PM CST
Flick..I lurked here from like 1998 to last July...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
without ever posting...I ALWAYS laughed when I came to this site's talkbacks...I just never felt that I had anything funny to contribute...Then, one night, I got really drunk and high....at the SAME time!!!! Like peanut butter and chocholate, beer and weed just GO TOGETHER!!!!
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Should be Stabby's theme song...."What they do?" "They smile in your face...All the time they want to TAKE YOUR PLACE!!! The Backstabbers..."No backs were actually stabbed, implied or otherwise, in the creation of this post...
-
...how did you hook up with the cool kids so fast? We are the cool kids... ...right?
-
...then yeah, I guess, provided there's a DVD/Blu-ray release (and that would probably be sometime next year). It's the pilot, though. The networks also look at Hulu viewcounts, so if there's not enough people checking the show out, it's likely to get canceled.
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That's not how you get gonorrhea.
-
Number one thread almost every day on AICN...I originally got royally thrashed on an Appollo Moon Landing thread (believe it or not)when I took the Devil's Advocate position...(which I actually lean toward...too many questions for me to reconsile adequately... Then I found Subs and his merry band of misfits...
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...I bought the fucking thing, and that's how I like to watch stuff. Sitting on the couch, looking at the TV.Monitors are for talkback and naked ladies.
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"Who's there?""Vlad.""Vlad, who?""Vlad The Poker, The Impaler's younger, under-achieving brother.""Brothers with the same first name?""We had different parents.""You're not veru good at this, are you?""I said 'under-achieving.' Jeez-its! You don't have to rub it in."
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I was going to check out the series, but it was opposite a double serving of SVU.
-
...what is this sorcery? Reveal your methods!
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Get watchin'. I'm not sure how you'll feel about it, but I liked it a lot. It's good (for a pilot).
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I keep forgetting it's unusual for people to have a monitor as large as their TV screen.
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works like . But I haven't quite figured out how to adjust the space. Unlike , multiple s add more space, and I thought spaces between s added even more, but it seems I was wrong. Ask Sixies, he's one of the few I know who uses it effectively.
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And a giant youknow.
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half the day was spent baby sitting and the second half i went out to dinner and thenRiiiiverDaaaance!
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Not great, but enough for HD video.
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From the bakers of Boner Marbled Rye®
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after 9/11.
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http://tinyurl.com/yk4s3od
-
see
if
I've
got this figured. -
...for posting that Boner Toast® link. I had no idea your monitor is so big.Had I known I was blasting you in the face with 720 square inches of Boner Toast® I never would have done it. It was irresponsible of me, and I'm sorry.
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that 70s music kicks ass and Cheeses is definitely listening to the only decent radio channel on TV right about now.
-
...for reals? Or is there a joke there I'm not getting...
-
There's real poetry in the real world.
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It was like staring directly at the sun. Not good for the rods and cones.
-
So, all the jokes that were ever made about Riverdance can not be disputed. After looking at the program and seeing that Michael Flatley is still credited as the choreographer you realize why the lead male dancer comes off so queer.That being said watching the whole show made me proud of my Irish roots. It really is amazing what these people do entirely below the knee.The women are hot as fucking hell, the band is insane (especially the drummer) and the jazz tap duo were killer.The "story" takes us from Ireland to America with some sort of "moon/seasonal" theme.I have been to only a handful of stage shows and I will rank them in this order:Jersey BoysRiverdancePhantomChicago.Since Riverdance is ending its tour i consider myself fortunate to have seen it. It gets my STLost seal of approval. 3 out of 5.
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Damn, Subs!
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i smuggled in a 1/5 of Beam and was cocked. The Irish broads were totally hot. True story.
-
It does for "below the knee" what Cirque du Soleil did for "the torso."
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Charter Cable has the hook up...
-
...balls of solid fucking rock.
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Flick was using the same measuring device he uses to size his junk.
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hope i made it before midnoght
-
giclee when they river danced?
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which this site does
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...and I'd rank them like this.
SPAMELOT. Some cool little play with Alan Rickman. Some cool little play with Ed Harris. A somewhat less cool little play with F. Murray Abraham. Harris and Rickman were great, but SPAMELOT was too much fun...and it had David Hyde Pierce. -
came out.
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I lost my drive for sex.....and toast.
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First time was at the MGM and the secind time we took my then 14 year old daughter (the same one who still mooches off of me)to see it at some Casino on the lower Strip...I was impressed both times...
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Jesus Christ SuperstarThe Lion KingStreetcar Named DesireDeath of a Salesmanand Sexual Perversity in Chicago (a Mamet play)I didn't order them.
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Joel Grey and Marilu Henner.I didn't give 1 half of a fuck about Henner but my grandmother dragged us to this thing on Broadway and the only way I could console myself was to repeat, "It's Chiun. It's Chiun. It's ok that I'm at a Broadway show cause Chiun is in it."
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four or five Disney On Ices, if you wanna count 'em.
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Sweeney Todd
-
I've also seen Ringling Brothers Circus, and I was on hand when "Curly" of The Harlem Globetrotters had one of his on-court heart attacks in the 70s.
-
...I'm hoping you've had a LOT of sex in your life.You've earned it.
-
Mar 03, 2010 11:10:15 PM CST
...I can report that Ed Harris is a miniature little man...
by flickapoo
...in real life...and just the little spitfire you'd expect him to be. Dreamy.
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but on stage i bet it was better.I wish i could see more quality theater. Not that I am totally into it but...Jersey Boys in particular, was just a great show. Flick you and Colon_El and Waitress should see it. For a stage play it is "hard as fuck". Aa much as a play can bee. Until they make Bronson a play. Then Jersey Boys will be for fairy boys.
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Another good friend of mine in the early 90's was the guy who played Big Bird on ice in the traveling Seasame Street Ice-capades show...
-
you can really tell i'm super drunk.
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I loved it. It's a perfect stage to screen adaptation.
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Phantom of the Opera in London Miss Saigon in NYC. And something else I can't remember.
-
...must read.
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I was selling t-shirts at the MGM Grand Arena the night Mike Tyson bit Holyfield's ear off...I was scared for my life that night as the hordes tried to exit the arena in an extra pissy mood knowing no bookie was paying on that fight...Totally True Story..
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Also featured that guy from Mission Impossible whose job was sitting in that super secret room Tom Cruise drops down into, the one they gave the water shit.
-
did you see Michael Flatley when you saw Riverdance? My biggest complaint was that the lead male dancer was overly "theatrical" by which i mean "gay". leather pants and vest never help. Rob Halford was the last dude to try that shit and we all know how that turned out.
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yeah.. i know that dude.
-
http://tinyurl.com/yg7nct5
I'll post it at the shelter, just in case you forget. -
when the Lost thread is bigger than the PB? Is it just me?
-
Mar 03, 2010 11:29:26 PM CST
I have sold t-shirts (and seen in concert for free...)...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
The Rolling Stones, KISS, Madonna, Paul Simon, The Backstret Boys, N'Cync, Janet Jackson, Steely Dan, Paul McCartney, Aerosmith, Fleetwood Mac, Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw and Faith...and met and or shaken hands with Pat Morita, Tia Carerra, Sly, Weley Snipes, all of Van Halen and many, many more. Living in Las Vegas Rocked... I once sold a t-shirt and poster to Mic Fleetwood long afrter we were officially closed...True story...
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First time I saw Riverdance, Flatley was the star...Second time he was the producer...
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this upsets me, that it wasn't me.
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even though he wasn't in it.
-
Mar 03, 2010 11:39:05 PM CST
I was also there for Pavarotti as well as Prince...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
Prince was the only show I worked where we sold women's panties as souveniers...The night he palyed in Vegas every Strip club in Vegas had to have shut down, because every stripper in town was at the show...In their work clothes...
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Mar 03, 2010 11:42:13 PM CST
Yeah, Mac...the heavy set bass player was at EVERY fight...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
Eddy and the rest of Van Halen only came out for priemier heavy-weight fights...
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nice Cheeses. Even though I am not a huge fan I would bet that a Prince show would be one of the most fun things ever. There are certain events that just
-
man I'm thrashed.
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keep in touch with yourselves.
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Was KISS on a Halloween night. As a perk for working, we all got to pick a t-shirt to take home and wear to promote the product for the show. Well, we all picked the one with the date and Las Vegas/ Oct 31 on the back line-up...Before intermission we were sold out of the only shirt with the date and venue printed on it, and my fellow hawkers were starting to tell me that people were offering them hundreds of dollars for our "rare" dated t-shirts...I turned around to one young attractive woman at almost the end of the show and instead of offering me money she motined me in close and whispered, "I'll blow you for your t-shirt."I wish I could say that I still had that shirt... but, the memories really more than make up for the loss...
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I know I'm serously laggin behind on the 'back. Work man, whadareyagunnado? Anyway my friend Vader, let me say with all love and respect to get off your arse and watch Yojimbo man!
And as for the Ebert thing, what I was saying was that they couldn't use the stuff from the Siskel & Ebert SHOW. There was either music in the background, someone else talking/interrupting, or Ebert seemed agitated (this is my dodgy memory here, don't quote me verbatim) or something, not his usual tone.
So basically they went to the audio commentaries he'd recorded to get a good clean bunch of samples. I just thought it was funny that all that time on his show and they couldn't use it... -
I choose to believe that story. You set me off when you where talking about 10cc before. I was scarred as a kid by the video and song for Godley and Cream's "Englishman in New York" (no, not the Sting song). Those freaky mannequins. And you brought it all back, damn you!
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I wasn't asked, but my mind perks at the thought of anything Kurosawa. I would suggest a Yojimbo/Sanjuro double-feature. It would be a night well spent.
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i think tecnology could isolate his voice and then they could use it..
-
Mar 04, 2010 8:34:10 AM CST
...someday soon we'll all be able to speak in Ebert's voice...
by flickapoo
...or any other voice for that matter...for a fee of course.I expect that Johnny Cash and Tom Waits will be in heavy rotation on my VoiceBox®
-
March 3rd, 2010 ...Cheeses spends a couple of hours with the IT guy, trying to get his profile picture straight before giving up. ...Vades tears up a little when he hears Roger Ebert's computerized voice. ...white_vades can't decide whether he likes Kurosawa's YOJIMBO or the sequel, SANJURO, more, but he seems to have decided he can't like them both the same amount. He adds his love for the best movie of 2009, WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. ...Martin Scorsese is willing to sacrifice PRECIOUS to the 3D infidels, but, notice, he doesn't mention one of his own films. (http://tinyurl.com/y9nt7k4) ...Flick lists a bunch of 3D devices from the 19th Century that are no longer with us and no one remembers - think about it. (http://tinyurl.com/yz7mbao) ...Stabby was unimpressed by THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, although he like the lead actress, and thinks PRECIOUS 3D would be a lot scarier. ★★☆☆☆ ...Yack drops more Shakespearean Lebowski, "Two Gentlemen of Lebowski" (http://tinyurl.com/ydkrujf) ..."Song of Ice and Fire," from what I gather, is a series of fantasy novels that may, or may not, be an upcoming HBO series. ...Yeah, you readers really should do short book reviews here. ...STLost wants to see if 12 MONKEYS is a three-star movie, but the inconsiderate shits who were supposed to return it to the library two weeks ago won't get off their lazy asses. ...Flick confesses something revealing about Dick. ...Foreign Police Fail (http://tinyurl.com/yjy73wu) ...Two typing toddlers ...THE HURT LOCKER is being sued by a serviceman who claims the film is a rip-off of his real life. Waitaminute, weren't a bunch of servicemen complaining last week that THE HURT LOCKER wasn't real-life enough? ...Yes, Melanie Laurent (INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS) should've been nommed for an Academy Award. This year's Oscar noms have less than an iota of credibility. ...Stephen Lang and Mickey Rourke in the CONAN re-boot, so, there's that, I guess. ...'moose bangs his head on some power metal. That'll leave a mark. ...Elfman's ALICE theme is downloadable for free at Amazon.com and the official Disney® site. (http://tinyurl.com/yz67n9t) You can download more music from Amazon, here. (http://tinyurl.com/yzsk5e7) ...☆☆RIGHT-BRAIN CINEMA☆☆™: PONYO - more like KIKI'S than SPIRITED AWAY ★★★☆☆ ...Quoting SCROOGED ...Teddy is frightened by the number of women who dress up like a character out of G.I. JOE. (http://tinyurl.com/yc559tw) ...Some 20 hours later, The National Nightmare ends - Daughter_of_Cheeses_of_Nazareth fixes the profile picture. ...Flick admits to interest in the Smurfs movie, and no one bullies him with scorn. You learn to accept a person's flaws as you learn to love them. ...Flick's tongue gets stuck to something a lot nicer than an icy pole. (http://tinyurl.com/yacqtuh) [a moose shoop™] ...Flick shares some "poo-flicking" photos, but since I still haven't recovered from Boner Toast®, you're on your own. (http://tinyurl.com/d2qxg4), (http://tinyurl.com/yadz2a7), (http://tinyurl.com/5f99tt) ...Cheeses is listening to 70s soft rock. ...'moose recommends the "Parenthood" TV pilot episode. (http://tinyurl.com/yg7nct5) ...Flick is as inept at the whole profile picture-thing as Cheeses. ...Vlad The Impaler knock-knock jokes ...Flick fingers his keyboard until it gives it up and accuses me of writing bland lines. ...Symphony of Science (http://tinyurl.com/yk4s3od) ...Mac gets back from River Dance, and, boy, are his calves sore. He especially enjoyed watching the hot ginger broads giclee. ...Peebers have been to the thea-TAH. ...Cheeses has shaken hands with all of Van Halen (Roth or Hagar?) and sold a tee-shirt to Mick Fleetwood. Not to be out-done, I've urinated in a stall next to Richard Thompson, shaken hands with Peter Gabriel, and been given the middle finger by John(ny Cougar) Mellencamp. Not to be out done, infinity, Cheeses tells a story about a Halloween in Vegas at a KISS concert, a scarcity of tee-shirts for the public, and a pretty girl with an open mouth and a jonesin' for that tee. ... -
Picture: Avatar or Precious
Director: Kathryn BigelowActor: Jeff BridgesActress: Carey Mulligan (an education) or Gabby whatserface (Precious)Supporting actor: Col. Hans Landa (duh?)Supporting actress: Monique (ditto duh)Original Screenplay: BasterdsAdapted screenplay: In the LoopAnimated Film: UPForeign Film: Prophet or White Ribbon Art Direction: The Young Victoria or Imaginarium of Doc Parnassus (so they can honor heath ONE more time!)Cinematography: Basterds or White Ribbon (never underestimate B&W)Costume Design: The Young VictoriaDoc: Burma VJEditing: D9 (they have to give it something!)Makeup: The Young VictoriaScore: UP (ditto ditto duh)Song: Crazy Heart (just cause lately when they nominate multiple songs from one film they cancel each other out)Sound Editing: AvatarSound Mixing: AvatarVis Effects: Avatar or D9 (avatar will win cause the whole freaking film was an effect)doc short: the last truckanimated short: a matter of loaf and deathlive short: miracle fishgranted for the lesser known cats, i was talking outta my ass...its anyones guess..but i would be suprised if THE YOUNG VICTORIA walks away with the most wins--a whopping 3. -
Alec Baldwin will try to force being funny...Steve Martin will play his banjo...There will be a production number involving 3D goggles...The acceptance speeches will be just as long as they always are, despite The Oscar Hitlers® and their rulez...I will not watch them, but I will make fun of them anyway...
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The applause during the obituary segment will fluctuate uncomfortably.
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Roger Ebert will present the nominations for an award using his computerized voice while Oprah reads the name of the winner.
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So I was woken up this morning to a terrible groaning sound coming out of my toilet. It sounded like it was exploding. I ran into the bathroom to see water spraying out all over the room. I cleaned it all up, then went to the second bathroom to see the same thing happened there. Three minutes later, it happened again. My bathroom is soaked bc my toilet exploded. I look out the window and see the City Water workers with their truck hooked up to a sewer system. I go out to talk to them, and they tell me there was a sewer leak a black or two over, so they drive through the neighborhood cleaning things out. They say it was clean water coming out of my toilets, that they release of the airpressure caused the clean water to come out the first time, and when the pressure came shooting back is when it happened the second time. I tell them I work at home and ask if I can be notified next time. They say no bc they come sporadically. But JEEBUS CRISTO, all I can think of is WHAT IF I had been sitting on that toilet doing my business??? I think I'd end up killing someone.
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Mar 04, 2010 10:15:23 AM CST
"City worker killed by angry, fecal-covered man. News at 11"
by d.vader
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"Honey! When did you have a bidet installed and how is the damned thing supposed to work?!!!?"
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martin short will make an appearance too
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KEY LARGO, STRAY DOG, RED CLIFF, PRECIOUS, RED BEARD, ACE IN THE HOLE, CHILDREN OF PARADISE, THE BEAT THAT MY HEART SKIPPED, ACE IN THE HOLE, BLOW UP, REDS, DERSU UZALA, CINEMA PARADISO, THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY
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Can't you at least WARN the neighborhood that this shit is gonna happen?!
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When do you want to "Some Guy & Some Other Guy" Burton's ALICE?
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...and acquires super-powers, this will be just the tip of the fecal iceberg.
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I would think for no other reason than to avoid a lawsuit. Suppose an elder person is on the toilet when it decides to go all-Old Faithful and suffers a fecal-covered coronary?
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...MEDITERANEO and IL POSTINO better (of the internationally popular Italian movies from that period).I really need to see them all again though.
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Public works water worker is blasted by radiation by a resentful fecal-covered villain. He becomes sort of an anti-hero, trying to save the people from exploding toilets, but shunned because of, well, you know, the general unpleasantness of bowel-based powers.Can't wait for the team-up with Batmanster in the pages of The World's Horniest heroes.
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...as a comic element, Super Watershit is either obsessed with anal sex, or can't abide it on account of super-day-job related overkill and burnout.Either way, internet pop-ups and spam are a constant torment.
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will be based off of superhero tropes, or I would begin The Saga of The Super Horny Friends myself.I guess one of us should do a horror spoof. That could include exploding toilet gore.
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"HOLY CRAP!" Os is that his battle cry that allows him to transform?
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...is the hottest ticket in town after all the teasers...
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Wonderful film. I think if was you DV that saw it in theater and did not care for it, I could be wrong though.
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I can't remember what it was I didn't like about it. I enjoyed the film but something about it seemed very empty to me. I absolutely *loved* the "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" sequence, though.
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...either he, his sidekick, or the villain are always using new fecal expletives..."shit on a shingle!", "jumping ass-jam!" "crap on a cupcake!" etc...etc...
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The story didn't make sense. The story about the missing piece; the logistics didn't make any sense whatsoever. I can't remember details so I can't debate this very well. I just remember thinking it didn't make sense for the villains to have it or something.
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annoying sidekick partner, I-Had-Corn-Boy.
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...fortunately, my expectations were low...so I really enjoyed it.Some great silent action scenes...lots to like.
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Is pretty ambigious. Also its very short. Maybe if I had seen it in theaters I wouldn't have liked it so much, but at home I totally bought into it and liked that the story wasn't so cookie cutter with everything fully explained. Ambitious for an animated film.
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so half-assed.
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...flickering eyes.
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They didn't explain something very important in the backstory. The big villainous machine is shut-down. But putting the amulet back into it turns it on. But the amulet also destroys it or something? So who took the amulet out of the machine the first time, causing it to shut down? How did the amulet get where it was in the beginning? That stuff made no sense to me.
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wants to turn the city into a compost heap because he lost his wife on an exploding toilet and a super-intelligent talking baboon who flings acidic poo.
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Mar 04, 2010 10:55:02 AM CST
...I think that as a theater movie 9 wasn't quite there, but...
by flickapoo
...if you stumbled into it on TV or something you'd think it was the greatest thing you ever saw... SPOILER It's a shame it couldn't have been silent, or at least more silent. I thought the plot might have been fine without articulating it, but once you start talking about a soul, and missing parts it sounds kinda corny.
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who leaves flaming bags on the door-steps of city administrators.
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Are really working out for me recently. Saw Gamer, Pandorum, 9 and Public Enemies expected them all to suck. Really liked all of them. Pandorum was especially surprising. Stan Winston studios did the creatures for that film.
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At first I wasn't for, but I think it was John C. Reily's character that got me to like it. I was worried that his voice would just sound stupid, but it was really effective. I liked the voice work, they kept it to a minimum.
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Mar 04, 2010 10:58:42 AM CST
...I want to see the money kill-shot of a really fat person...
by flickapoo
...too heavy to be budged when the toilet explodes...so you hear the muffled detonation...see the bulky figure shudder...finally the head snaps back and watershit spews from the mouth, nose, ears, and eyes with the full force of the contained explosion...
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Long time ago, loved it and loved that it was a silent film. But I got over that with the movie.
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Mar 04, 2010 11:01:52 AM CST
...the first reveal of the big creature, with the red flag...
by flickapoo
...as the heroes run in the foreground was spectacular. I really liked the terradactyl type creature and yarn spinning thing was shiveringly cool.
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Very low-key.
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"When Toilets Strike Back"
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Was Christopher Plummer and Martin Landau. Too similar.
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Mar 04, 2010 11:08:51 AM CST
...it felt like a miniature little story happening underfoot...
by flickapoo
...in the world of HALF-LIFE 2.And that's a good thing.
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...make it happen.
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What it is, gentlemen?
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we can do it monday when you wake..after the subbarythis is all hinging on whether i drag my son who is suspiciously reluctant to go...i think his mother has said she will take him..FUCK THAT!i hate it when she does that..we'll go and he'll like it..
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...too many times. It felt a little like a Gandalf parody. "get off the toilet...you FOOLS!"
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I didn't want to PAY to see Alice in Wonderbar land. But I couldn't fucking get tickets to the advance screening. DAMN YOU BURTON! For making awesome movies now just making crap, then showing me you aren't a complete waste by helping to get 9 made.
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THE GOOD GUY - a stock trader dramedy ★★★☆☆BROOKLYN'S FINEST - Ebert appreciates the actors way more than the story ★★★☆☆ALICE IN WONDERLAND - Ebert is into it until the third-act action climax, which disappoints ★★★☆☆A PROPHET ★★★★☆Of the 3D in ALICE, Ebert writes:"Burton is above all a brilliant visual artist, and his film is a pleasure to regard; I look forward to admiring it in 2-D, where it will look brighter and more colorful. No artist who can create these images is enhancing them in any way by adding the annoying third dimension. But never mind that."
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Ignore my empty stars. I was cut-n-pasting and forgot.
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I don't expect to watch Burton's ALICE at all.
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We can do it earlier, if it's more convenient. You kind of have to have an uninterrupted half hour to put aside or else it'll just end up Some Guy Typing To Himself.
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You seeing ACE IN THE HOLE twice? Not that I blame you - great movie.
Actually that is a pretty good March line up. I only haven't seen two of those films, and the rest are either good or great. -
On Oprah. He gives nicer reviews now he saidish.
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Then a third act battle.
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Mar 04, 2010 11:32:34 AM CST
It was the 13th hour, of the 13th day, of the 13th month
by continentalop
Lousy Smarch weather.
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Weather is GORGEOUS here in the heart in the DFW Metroplex...
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...death.First we see a shudder and hear the muffled explosion...after a pause, the person's head snaps back and watershit erupts from nose ears, mouth, and eyes...after some dramatic spewing there is a pause, as thicker and more solid globs of feces obstruct the facial orifices...closeup the an eye, straining and quivering in its socket...slowly, a pasty dark substance begins to ooze and bubble from around the eyeball...the eyeball is blown from it's socket, the optic nerve stretching and snapping back...the obstacle cleared, watershit erupts again...thicker and chunkier this time...eventually we realize to our horror that the watershit is now mixed with a denser substance...the person's own insides...liquefied by the force of the blast... After what seems an eternity the flow begins to slow...burping and sputtering the thickest sludge in perfect arcs, like a vulcano erupting in slow motion.The corpulent figure, now purged, slouches on the throne of death...deflated.
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Mar 04, 2010 11:38:52 AM CST
...um ↑ that was a leftover from a previous conversation...
by flickapoo
...apologies to all.
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Troy from Goonies. That scene turned me off to public restrooms for a long long time. As did other reasons.
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If I ever said I did, I must've been confusing it with THE SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS (which I loved) or A FACE IN THE CROWD (which I hated).Or maybe I was just pretending to have seen it because I wanted to sound as smart as the other guys in the room.
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I watched a special on Animal Planet called "I was Bitten" and it featured a victim of a bear attack. The bear basically went in for the "death bite" where it tried to bite the man's face off. It basically put its mouth on his face, sideways so that the teeth were on each side of his temples, and bit down. The man said he remembered hearing cracking and a pop. The bite pressure on the sides of the head caused the orbital bones to break and splinter, causing the eyes to pop out. The did a recreation with a CGI skull with eyes inside, rotating on the screen. They didn't show a bear or teeth or anything, but showed that when the pressure was applied, the orbital bones shattered ("like glass" I think they said) and the eyes fell out, still attached to the nerves. That really grossed me out at 1 am in the morning. The survivor took off his glasses to show his disfigured face, and he has small fake eyes sitting in the sockets so as not to freak everyone out. But it reminded me of the large, fake non-moving eye on the Cyclops in Krull.
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Yeeeeesh...
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...G.I. Joe battles as a kid.Actually I didn't have Joes...just pussy Fisher-Price action figures...but I made up the difference with violence and gore.
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The guy should be sitting on the toilet. It starts to rock a little. He gets a funny look on his face. He shifts uncomfortably. Close up on a trickle of water running down the side of the porcelain. The water turns brown. The guy shifts again. He drops his magazine to the floor and steadies himself by reaching his hand to the nearby side of the tub. He belches. He has a disgusted look on his face. It appears he wants to spit, but he throws his other fist up to his mouth. It seems to subside. He tries to get up, but falls back into the seat and begins to spasm. He lowers his fist. And spews.Cut.Detectives arrive at the scene. They approach the bathroom door, wincing. One holds a hankie to his nose. They look in, horrified.Scene of indescribable poo-splattered gore and an obese man sunk into a shattered toilet basin.
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Have you seen the one where Bear Gryls(sp?) funnels the putrid water up his ass to prevent dehydration while avoiding the "gag reflex" and taking in bacteria?Somehow I thought this was relevant to the topic.
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"Things Unseen" theory of suspense.
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digs through some grizzly squat for a nut to eat.
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Mar 04, 2010 11:54:20 AM CST
...D, I saw eyes like that once too. Why do they make them...
by flickapoo
...so small I wonder? Twice as disturbing as no eyes at all. Oh, and Miracles Of Modern Medicine...if a bear ever crushes my head and squirts my eyeballs out, tell the ambulance driver to take his time. Or better yet, to get there fast but just pump me full of morphine and walk away.Same thing if a chimp eats my face. Let me fucking die.
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finding the nearby tree of nuts that the grizzly ate from.
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...if you're gunning for an Oscar. Me? I'm going for Best Shit You Ever Saw In The Middle Of The Night At A Friend's Sleepover.
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no i should be fine between my comp and iphone...to be safe we should BAMF! before..maybe to the GOONback
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should be a pivotal part of the entire movie.See cause he is so large it takes him a long time to take a dump. He doesn't realize it but his fat ass on the toilet is the only thing preventing the entire cities sewer system from erupting.For the duration of the movie you cut back to him periodically in different phases of discomfort as he tries to squeeze out his daily loaf with the culmination of the film centering on our heroes finding this mystery "man on the can" before it is to late for the city and him. Obviously the "man on the can" doesn't make it with the result being Flicks disgusting orbital eruption.
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absolutely horrible discussion this morning, and I, for one, am appalled at my own involvement in it.[loud farting noise]
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...a movie...what happened here?Mine is the grand finale...or perhaps the first manifestation of Watershit's fully developed powers.
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...I like it.
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The Farrelly Brothers. Good show, old man.
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...a butterfly flaps it's wings in the Brazilian rain forest, and half a world away a fat man blows his insides out his eye-sockets.
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I assumed he had too much scar tissue to allow for regular sized eyes, or maybe a regular sized eye hole is too big and might allow the prosthetics to fall out. What a gruesome fate either way.
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Mar 04, 2010 12:09:21 PM CST
...all right, off to the store. We're out of fiber-rich...
by flickapoo
...whole-grain products and raisins.
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...the devil's in the details.He always tries to hide...but we find him. The more devil the better.
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youd hafta eat 1000 bowls of total...
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http://tinyurl.com/yaa686k Yeeeeesh.
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if you wanna get blown your gonna have to pony up the $5.00 yourself;)Well he is a pimp in a lot of other ways but getting you blown isn't one of them.
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Mar 04, 2010 12:19:10 PM CST
More info in Synthe-weed...Or K-2, as it is called...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
http://www.livescience.com/health/fake-marijuana-k2-hallucinations-100303.html
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Mar 04, 2010 12:25:06 PM CST
...HA! "Colon blow", it took me a full thirty seconds to get it
by flickapoo
...I love a time-release joke.
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...a villain.He stirs, and twitches, sloooly slithering the empty sack of himself into the shadows. His hate and envy of all people of substance grows in the darkness...he becomes a flaccid, constantly craving Meat-Mech® in search of an inner self.
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is it that hard to come by for these kids? The whole point of weed (for me) is that it is just a plant. not chemicals and shit. Now you have assholes using ALL CHEMICALS to get the same result plus problems. I don't know about you but weed, no matter how much, never had me hallucinating. Fucked up. That seems to be what we could be looking at with legal weed. Cutting corners with chemicals.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0D78JtxmqI
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a host for living feces not unlike Vincent D'Onofrio in Men in Black.
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...craving who wears skin-suits, craving to become someone else.The Man On The Can is an empty human skin-suit...craving inner meaning and literal substance.
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Mar 04, 2010 12:37:39 PM CST
Sheesh...Talk about your Irritable Bowel Syndrome...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
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...there can really be only one.
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is featured heavily, and the Man on the Can tucks his cock back.
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...it's safe.
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Bogey and Edward G. are awesome in it. And this is were the Looney Tunes got that great impersonation of Robinson for that Bug Bunny cartoons. "Dance, I tell you!" as he shots at girl's feet.
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not Troy from Goonies?
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...red chinstrap.
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This is not some sort of exclusive club, guys!
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love the Edward G. send up on Looney Toons. If it comes from this...I'm there.
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hell I made it past the velvet rope soooooooooo....
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Famke Jansen would have been a better choice.
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but Famke would have had to stay all out bad and they couldn't throw that bullshit Duke/Anna love thing in.Your version is better.
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as a geek fetish. Wonder if all those girls grew up watching the GI Joe cartoon or if they just jumped on the movie bandwagon.
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in the GI Joe musical.
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Mar 04, 2010 1:04:21 PM CST
Massive Earthquakes make the days just a little shorter...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
No, Seriously...http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aLAUn4Gy92ss
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good call Vades
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Tanya Harding. a merciless bitch that will stop at nothing to get what she wants.
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and rhythm is a dancer. SNAP!
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She's totally hot as the Baroness. Look up GI Joe musical, I think that'll make it pop up. Also includes Julianne Moore as Scarlett, Henry Rollins as Duke, and Vinnie Jones as Destro.
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link?
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And it "popping up" for a GI JOE musical.I feel completely out of the conversation.
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That's 1.26 microseconds I'll never be able to get back!
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"Burn Notice" and "White Collar" prep a "crossover" episode.
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Red Chinstrap to star as the fat fuck Man on the Can in the completely made up water_shit movie. Olivia Wilde as the Baroness in the Funny or Die, G.I. Joe Musical. Hilarious Vades.
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“That movie is great. It’s spellbinding and nobody is going to understand what the fuck just hit them." http://tinyurl.com/ybbhyum
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and I'm a Bruce Notice fan. This season has been great. Looking forward to the finale this week. F... F... F... f-k, White Collar!
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maybe T.A.T. and Gabrielle will dyke out.
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back after the commute.
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Is that a name, a character, an attachment to a football helmet?
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...it's a "style" of beard.
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as the baroness...i would let her turn me to dust as phoenix is she just let me pet her...what a sweet girl..i can totally see her as da baroness.
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Mar 04, 2010 1:50:35 PM CST
Or Tina Fey imitating Sara Palin as the Baroness...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
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for Harry? You wanna cast Harry as "Fat Man On The Can"? Do we know if Harry can act? Or is that even a consideration.First on casting director's list: Weight. Obese. Morbidly so. Not quite "Tear down the bedroom wall to get him out of the house," but getting there.Second on the casting director's list: Willingness to do anything to get in a movie.Third on casting director's list: Someone everyone wants to see covered in fecal gore.Fourth on casting director's list: Ability to act, as role has only a single line. To wit: "Urp."
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http://tinyurl.com/yawgs6w
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'moose does. He animated Battomansuturo's eyes.Before he works on a fat man on an exploding toilet, he needs to make a gif of Gary Oldman riding a bike backwards!
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i say nay..we are the chosen people and we CHOSE not to hay a lion rule us..
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Somehow reminded me of Sarah Palin. In some of the stylized promotional material, anyway.
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Mar 04, 2010 2:11:17 PM CST
Darth Vader on The Washington National Cathedral...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
http://www.nationalcathedral.org/about/darthVader.shtml
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Well ring-a-ding-ding.
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/7338097/200-Russian-tanks-found-abandoned-in-forest.html
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You know, the kiddies love their comic books with heaping doses of real-world suck. Rape, child pornography, violent dismemberment, wanton murder. Gotta flip that switch for Generation Bloodthirst if you want to compete with video games.
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...we'd all be dead before dusk. Except Flick, he's got a family to fight for.
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g-g-g-ghosts!
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ALICE--Cnew Gorillaz--B
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I was a happy boy.
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id like to think id make it to the witching hour...or at least happy hour..
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...in the darkness...Like bacteria in a warm, most, place...his hatred grew. And yet...there were things to enjoy in this new existence. Before the explosion he was barely able to support his own bulk...but a person weighs much less after spewing their liquefied insides out every cranial orifice.
At first, if he moved at all, he slithered his flaccid self painfully, in the shadows...nothing but a thin trail of obscene afterbirth in his wake. In time he learned that his hands could easily support the weight of the empty fleshbag he now was.His eyeballs had been ejected in the blast, but the radioactive watershit spewing and forcing it's way through his ear canals, sinuses, and nasal passage must have done something to him. Something heightened, something...wonderful... -
sausage casing.
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We all seem to enjoy our various illicit substances a little too much.
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Fucking aces, man. Great song, awesome video. And Bruce Willis like a maw fucka!
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It blunted the impact of the song, which just gets the fuck down.
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I watched it a second time thinking about how much better the song would be without the distracting sound effects that the video necessitates.
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We were discussing tectonic plates and then this came up. It blew my mind.
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They're just so tectonic...
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but, they were just too dirt covered to eat off of...
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...but now I'm FUCKING sold.
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Fuck's sake, everything is freezing up. Memo to Google- if you want to take over the world, do it right.
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on SCOTT PILGRIM. I dunno. I just can't care about the geeky misadventures of a 20-something in love. Supposedly there's a bunch of references to 1980s and 90s Nintendo shit, and I totally get it, but I just don't care.
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i got it from netflix a year ago and i wanted to watch it again \..alas..not available...people are jacking the rare stuff--battle royale..and now this!
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I will say that I'm more excited for 'Plastic Beach' than I have been for any album since Gorillaz' last album
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So much ambiguity, so many questions, so many ways for the questions to be answered, even the evil characters are ambiguous.
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Mar 04, 2010 3:34:40 PM CST
Indians drinking cow urine for spiritual/health benefits. Yep.
by anonymoose
http://tinyurl.com/y9m8nl9
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Russkies had ralphie and joaquin
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http://tinyurl.com/yfwet2x
Be kind to homeless window washers, or else... -
I'm not getting the connection between a movie and a DJ here...? PS Battle Royale kicks ass.
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http://tinyurl.com/yj2w43x Apparently this was shot in South Philly. Gotta support my peeps!
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Mar 04, 2010 4:01:58 PM CST
Battle Royale meets Rambo meets Delta Force with more punching.
by anonymoose
It's DEADLY PREY
http://tinyurl.com/yglxyca -
Should I just start at the beginning and go in order? Read the Dark Tower series last? To get the full effect of his entire oeuvre and criss-crosses between stories and such? Anyone here a big enough King fan to answer?
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I'd say chronological is probably the best way to go. Even some of the short stories play a part in King's worlds' mythology.
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DEADLY PREY was pretty awesome.
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...you'll turn inside out.
So be careful to not do that. -
...but if you want to jump right into King doing what King does best, start with Salem's Lot. The Shining comes next. Just fit Carrie in somewhere along the way.
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http://tinyurl.com/ycflzm4
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ALWAYS follow the moose's advice.
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Mar 04, 2010 4:27:00 PM CST
Salem's Lot's nosferatu vampires scared the shit outta me as a k
by d.vader
That along with James Mason's crazy eyes as he descended that staircase!
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Yeah, that shit bugged me out, too.
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...On The Can howled for substance...
The upper balconies of old movie theaters became favorite hunting grounds. Lurking in corners, lost in the visual tapestry of peeling plaster, fading gold leaf, and sound absorbing folds of dark velvet.Movies reminded him of his previous life. He couldn't see them of course, but the screen of his mind danced with flickering images no sane person would pay to see...would give anything to un-see.The bang of a door. A bright rectangle of light. A silhouetted figure, struggling to negotiate the doorway...wrestling with a bulky winter coat and balancing 32 oz. of soda and a ludicrously large tub of popcorn. The figure hesitates for an unusual length of time, choosing a seat...The Man On The Can moves hand over hand across the ceiling...fingers deftly feeling their way and gripping the Rococo plaster moldings. The figure below, finally seated, arranges and rearranges the three pieces of the coat, soda, and popcorn puzzle...searching for the ideal solution. The Man On The Can positions himself above the figure, but not directly above...the part of him that was called his sphincter before the explosion has a tendency to leak at the most inopportune moments. He can't risk alerting the figure below with his incontinence.He waits...
She rarely goes to the movies. She doesn't even really want to see this one. She got a free gift card for one show and a large soda and popcorn from a friend...the friend has a twenty such tickets, received after losing a tooth in an altercation with a group of talking rednecks in Martin Scorsese's SHUTTER ISLAND. Who eats this much popcorn? No wonder people are so fat these days! The previews begin...and what the fuck is that smell?...
The Man On The Can slowly moves into position...and lets go. The opening where his legs meet resembles the orifice of a gutted Purdue chicken...the kind with the little wet packet of giblets you have to dig out before cooking.
He lands on his victim with a wet sound...orifice first. Her struggles only hasten the process...her wriggling allows him to slip around her like a putrid sausage casing. The complacent look on his face contrasts horribly with the barely audible screams from somewhere inside him...his flesh occasionally bulging and rippling from her weakening struggles. Occasionally a half recognizable part of her stretches the skin from the inside...a knee?...an elbow?...the fleeting profile of a silently screaming face?As long as she lives, three days or so, his victim will lend him the internal substance necessary to ambulate...awkwardly, yes, but real walking. Almost like a normal person.Once she dies, she will inevitably begin to soften...a little more each day...until he is once again just an empty, slithering skinsuit.
He will need to find a new nest before that happens, but there is time. The internal struggle is weaker now...the carefully arranged soda and tub of popcorn are frustratingly small, and he would kill for half a cup of melted butter-like fluid, but this will do for now...Crunch.
Crunch.Crunch.
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Skeleton Crew has several that are fucking amazing, including The Mist (the one the movie is based on) and Survivor Type (in which a man stranded on an island breaks his ankle while hunting birds, has to amputate, consumes the amputated foot to survive, can no longer move anywhere, and so slowly does the same to the rest of himself). Of course, you can't forget Four Past Midnight and its mindfucking Langoliers.
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I hope its better than the movie starring a crazy Cousin Balkie.
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The sounds of doom. A gooey and putrid doom.
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King short story. Ties in with Salem's Lot, too.
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Mr Creosote.
My God Flick, you've moved from King and Raimi to Palaniuk and now into the pit from Jackson's Kong mixed with some Barker. Where the hell will this lead next? Poe?
Or is this your jealous way at getting back at me? ;) -
Best stuff he'd done in years. Tommyknockers turned me off and after a coupla others like that I haven't been back (well that and I don't even keep up with mags or comics these days. It's really annoying after the halfway mark to find everything repeating itself especially when the thing's as long as the bible. I guess no-one presumes to edit him. It's sorta like reading it the second time while you're still reading it the first time, if that makes any sense...
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...just a villain and a hunting method.Just a fancypants Mr. Slave attack really.♪♫ Lemmingwinks...Leeemmingwinks..♫♪
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Let alone dress up and play tea-party with me like you used to, Dad!"
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...I often feel there isn't quite enough THERE there to just sit and read his stuff, but it's great to listen to while you're doing some mindless chore. His style is chatty, and he rarely has too many characters to keep track of...I even like it when he reads himself. That weird, nasal voice is oddly effective.
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...I read THE STAND for eleven hours straight on a plane once.Cool way to read it, but weird. When we landed I had temporarily lost all vision beyond a few feet...I barely found the exit. I assume that focusing exclusively on something that close for eleven hours locked up my eyes for a while. It was disconcerting.
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I'm still waiting on the film adaptation of 'The Long Walk'.
And the original 'The Running Man' is 100% batshit crazier than the movie. -
Guitar Hero for too long. You can't focus on anything and everything looks like its moving upward like a treadmill.
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See y'all on the flip side.
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"Jesus, that smell, and what color is that stain?""It's kind of a rosy taupe. It's like brownish with a lot of red added to it.""So, what are you now, some kinda art student? Gheesh.""You got an evidence bag big enough for that popcorn tub? I ain't touchin' that."The heavy-set, balding detective noticed something else stuck to the seat. He bent over so he could see it a little closer as he motioned for the attending evidence technician. Suddenly, he jerked erect. "Hey! You smart-ass," he hollered to his partner standing over him, and he slapped his open palm to the top of his head. "Did you just spit on me? All I did was call you a art student!""I didn't spit on you. I'm not, like, seven."The detective pulled his hand off his head and extended it toward his partner. It was slick with a shiny, vicuous, clear substance."Shit, Tommy, what is dat? It looks thick as lube."The two detectives looked straight up and shone their flashlights at the ceiling of the dimly-lit theater.Above them, they saw a dark, irregularly-shaped stain, and as they tried to figure out what it might be...PLOPPLOPEach of them got an eyeful of the thick, dripping gizz.
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...hehehe...Run with it Subs...I remember now why I hate writing. I have a new respect for all of our epic writers here..I can't imagine trying to bring this to some sort of conclusion.I need a nap.
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Aren't you talking to me any more?
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There's no way I can top what most of you have done.
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That's what I meant toask - how the hell do you do the little musical notes? I can't find 'em. Is it a secret thing to do with your 'f'-less keyboards?
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Mar 04, 2010 5:48:53 PM CST
Vader the White, get yourself a profile image at Googleback.
by anonymoose
Vader the Black already took your visage, though. Sorry.
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...I'm just happy to hear that things are moving forward with that project...information on it has been sketchy at best.Glad to hear you're busy, too. I'm still busy with the book end of things, but editorial and advertising have dried up completely...
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...I like this page...
http://www.tedmontgomery.com/tutorial/altchrc.html -
...I'mma get to my profile though...I'm chomping at the bit...
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because the client has royally fucked up and now I've gotta finalise designs, do all the styleguide art and supervise costumes, plush and a bloody animated piece in the next few weeks. When we told them we needed immediate feedback before bloody Christmas - and the reply to that even came a whole month later! To add insult to injury the whole thing went back to square one three times, and I was developing 4 characters which turned to one. Which means even though there were multiple phases of development for multiple characters, they reduced the budget down to one (and not good money even for that, considering global audience). So basically I've already been paid all they're going to pay me. Grrr.
Feels good to vent sometimes. I wanna do books. At least the stress is more regulated!
As for that project, s-l-o-w-l-y. Which could be a good thing, actually. -
Ah well, Big D got firsties. Maybe I'll just have a pic showing a little white mound of, uh, 'snow'. Yeah snow. Still gotta get over there, furthest I got was signing up...
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Owotta nazz eye bean.
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Mar 04, 2010 6:05:24 PM CST
Nah, Flick. I ain't gonna unless it's a tag-team thing.
by subtitles_off
You deal with The Man Off The Can and his horrific murders, and I'll focus on the bumbling detectives investigating his crimes.
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...like a treadmill, you run out of money half way through, so you sign up for another one...and the advance for the future book gives you time to finish the current one.I'm taking advantage of the current slowdown to watch our daughter until she starts preschool, but that means I don't want to sign up for another book just yet...so now I'm halfway through a 48 spread project and won't see another cent until I finish the entire thing. It's frustrating.When you say "we", do you mean you and your agent?...or do you have a little studio with multiple people working on a project?
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...you should push forward a little with the detectives and that will suggest the next murder...
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Cinemasource, the source for things that are cinema related, has the inside info that Percy Jackson star Logan Lerman has been cast as Peter Parker in the Spider-Man reboot/remake/reimagining/reinventing/redonkulous movie.
Cinemasource has more:
Inside sources claim that Percy Jackson star, Logan Lerman has been cast in the Sony reboot of the Spider-Man film series, Director Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer) is set to helm the first film in what I’m guessing will be another trilogy although that has not been confirmed at this time.
Click HERE to read the rest.
Never did see Percy Jackson so I have no idea if this kid will be any good. But I'm going to see Spider-Man for Spider-Man so it doesn't matter much to me who is cast as Peter Parker. Least they went with someone who actually looks like a young Peter Parker. -
over his disfigured head and walked up to the concession stand."I'll take a refill on this popcorn." Gurgled from his barely functioning mouth."The Fuck." the clerk remarked not looking up from the PSP he was diddling. "The movie just started how can you already be out of popcorn?""Refill!" The Man on the Can screamed, jolting the clerk away from the game of God of War: Chains of Olympus. The Man on the Can had enjoyed the viewing of {deleted} that he sat through after devouring the girl earlier. Although it was 3 hours in length he had time to hit another matinee before prices went through the roof. It was time for him to take in a real piece of shit. Luckily The Squeakquel was still at the dollar theater."Fuck dude! Whats wrong with your face?""Refill!" was the only reply.The clerks nervous hand reached for the popcorn bucket that was covered in some kind of disgusting ooze. He recoiled in disgust."The Fuck!?!""Refill!""The Fuck!?!""Refill!""The Fuck!?!""Refill!""The Fuck!?!""Refill!"It went on like this until the Man on the Can couldn't take the total lack of service any more."What do they pay you cock suckers for?" He half climbed half oozed over the counter in a fluid motion. Toward the clerk but more toward the popcorn machine. The moveable blob that the Man on the Can had become backed the clerk into the corner and began covering his feet."The Fuck!" the clerk repeated again. The mix of person/shit began covering his as it slid upward toward the machine."I'll fucking get it myself you useless moron." The ooze of a "person" slid off the clerk and into the popcorn machine. The clerk coughed and gagged in revoltion as the homoblobian rolled around in the machine creating the most disgusting popcornball no one would ever want to eat. Instead of caramel it was being held together by shit. The clerk choked and spit and with his last dying breathe he muttered, "The Fuck."The giant shitball of popcorn rolled back toward the theater doors. The Squekquel was about to begin.
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Mar 04, 2010 6:43:07 PM CST
I might be working on something for you to work into it, Subs.
by anonymoose
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Detective Vern Schlukkter entered the sterile lab of the P.D.'s medical examiner."What happened to your eye, Vern?" asked the tall, ginger-haired M.E., Dr. June Wedding, pretty and bosomy enough to be an actress on a high-end cable show, but smart and capable enough to correctly pronounce the necessary medical terms to succeed in a profession that allowed her to stick her hands in really gross stuff, a fascination she had kept to herself since the long, childhood days by the pond, eviscerating toads."It's nothing. Upstairs they said you've got something for me.""The viscous substance is...""Mucous, yeah, I know.""And, I was able to isolate DNA from the scrapings off the seat. Two strands.""Two strands?""Yeah, two strands. One was isolated from a fecal protein. The other came from blood.""A fecal protein? Our victim shat herself?""No. The DNA strand from the fecal protein matched a DNA sample taken from the mucous. The blood sample belonged to the female victim. We matched it to the hairs that were pulled off the theater seat.""So, some kind of snot creature dropped onto our victim from the ceiling and carried her out of the theater?""Vern, my eyes are up here.""I'm sorry, June. It's just...""Yeah, my knockers are spectacular. Look, I'm just here for weekly exposition of the science details and to get you to say sexist shit so the audience is convinced you're not a homosexual.""I'm not a homo.""You're pretty enough to be a homosexual. And, your fingernails are perfect! Besides, there's always a homosexual, even on the network shows. There's nothing wrong with it.""I'm not a homo. What kind of creature is this snot creature?""Oh, it's human. And, it's male. It's got an unusually high Ph factor, though. As for the rest, you're gonna have to figure it out. Um, you're looking at my breasts again.""See? I'm not a homo.""Whatever. You weren't looking at them like you wanted bury your face in them. You were looking at them like you were wishing you had a pair just like them.""Just lemme have a copy of the report.""Aw, Vern, don't be sore. This is the kind of silly banter that relieves the tension between the gory bits.""If you find anything else out, contact us immediately. We have to figure out what we're dealing with.""OK, Vernie. Oh, hey, I'm sure you know what Schlukkter means in yiddish."Vern let the closing lab door extinguish her voice. Bitch, he thought to himself. Incredible tits, though.
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Detective Thomas O'Mallorysteinowichsky was reviewing evidence with the captain of the department."Jesus, Tommy, what happened to your eye?""Turns out, I'm allergic to the drops. Do you mind if I continue, Captain?""Go ahead, but, Christ, do you mind turning around? Look at Rappercop, over there. Or Female Stereotype. I can't look at you!""OK. What we know is Jane Doe used a gift card to obtain a ticket to the matinee showing of [deleted], but none of the attendants saw her leave when the show was over.""[deleted]? What is that? Is that the thing with Jennifer Aniston and that dude from '300'? I like that dude. What is his name?"Rappercop mumbled under his breath, "He said he liked a dude. Maybe Cap'n's the homosexual character. I know I ain't the homosexual character in this shit. I better not be the homosexual character in this shit. Fuck tha' police.""[deleted] is the 3D cartoon thing that's three hours long.""That's plenty of time for our perp to have snuck in, grabbed her, and gone out a back entrance or something.""Captain!," Washed Up Jewish Comedian shouted as he hung up his phone. "That was the theater. Seems like we have another problem.""What is it?""They've had to shut down. people are getting sick from eating the popcorn.""I always feel a little ill after I eat too much of that stuff. It's the oil they use.""Captain, it's more serious. They found shit in the popper. And an attendant is missing."
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It doesn't matter if it even makes sense or ever wraps up.Our first jam story. I like the idea.
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It opened to a buck and a quarter.
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6:51:18 in absentia, dude-bro.
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6:51:18
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I was going to post it just to post it, and then you go and post it first. Very nice.
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How's your story going?
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I should prolly finish it before I start posting installments, eh?
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"The Fuck!?!"
"Refill!"
"The Fuck!?!"
"Refill!"
"The Fuck!?!"
"Refill!"
"The Fuck!?!"
"I'm not a homo."These are great...this is going to be fun. -
We can amuse ourselves with our jam story in the meantime. You gotta join in on that, too.The mo' ridiculous, the mo' bettah.So far, we've got a man who had all his innards liquefied and projectiled from his body, leaving him a living sausage casing that must absorb the living tissues of others to survive. He's currently watching The Squeakquel at the local cinema, after absorbing two victims and a lot of popcorn, while the city's inept police department let him slide (get it) right out from under their noses.
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Christ, is DC just trying to lose every loyal fan who has ever read any of their titles?
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...he can temporarily use them to move around like a normal person...like a meat wetsuit using the person inside it.As the person dies and decomposes The Man Off The Can slowly loses shape...returning to his human sausage-casing form.
I think the forensic detectives are going to have to rig up some sort of simulation with a dead pig...to calculate how much walking around time he has after each kill... -
It's like they're actively trying to piss people off, thinking that's what the readers want.
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Here, tho, it makes perfect sense.
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I saw that you recycled a Scrooged quote over in the ShadowBack. Nice. Doubt anyone got it, but still...
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But it failed so they gave him spidey... Makes perfect sense
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I better not be the homosexual character in this shit. Fuck tha' police."
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...in most talkbacks it's a triumph if one person gets your joke...
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I don't even watch those shows, but I get it. And it's awesome. Washed-Up Jewish Comedian is my favorite character.
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Two ugly dark shadows stood over a terrified, naked, defenseless man, flat on his back, in his kitchen. Well, they were both ugly alright, but only one of them had the face of an asshole raped wide open, cracked with fissures. The light in the man's kitchen had been smashed to dust with a sledgehammer, the frightened man should have considered this a blessing, for looking at that face now would surely not help his current condition.
Attached to the man's chest were two thick needles embedded deep through the flesh of both of his nipples, attached to the needles were two hoses of about four feet in length, and attached to the hoses were two milk cartons filled with 400mg of black mamba venom, each. The strangers were playing a horrible game. They called it "Flinch and Die!" and it was not easy. The shadowy monsters had banged cupboards, suddenly burst out laughing like madmen, which turned into freakish sex moans, destroyed furniture, farted fully working, miniature fireworks out of their magic bags, and here they stood looking down upon the weary, but frightened man who had not flinched.
"eyE nO waT 2 dO tA maikE hiS feeR giggaL," said the grinning shadow to Goatse's side.
"Piff Really pff? Pft What pff?"
"takE suM oF heS wrappeR..."
"Ffp I don't follow frp. Zhrt Try it pft."
It dropped down to the man's side on the hard kitchen floor, lifted one long, sharp-nailed finger into the dim light that now seeped through a window. He proceeded to push his finger toward the man's bare belly. An incision was made by the sharp nail with just a touch. The cutting continued as it shaped a thin rectangle strip. Giggling, the evil thing formed a menacing pincer with its forefinger and thumb, and it peeled the bloody skin off of the steel willed man whose eyes were red and pouring tears. No flinching. No flinching.
"U R certanlY vairY herO smarT... yU alsO knO wE haV uR dawrleenG seeD & pussY," it breathed into the darkness, "yoU frytE jigglE, wE hurT thaR bodyS, theY nvR recuvR, eyE promisE U."
The man wanted to rip the thing's head off. He musn't move, though. He musn't let anything that even remotely looks like flinching escape his mind.
The creature moved closer to the man's face, the dim light exposing the features he had only glimpsed before they whacked him over the head and broke the light. Fucking horrifying. Regardless, he had to keep it together... for his family. No flinching. No flinching... for his wife and daughter.
"aaaaH, heH heH haH."
It stood up.
"Ffwert Now what ffp?"
"EeETS JuMPeeN JEezsUS TyME, HEE HeE HEEeHEE!"
The shadow named Goatse jumped back as the other shadow flailed about madly and pulled something from behind its back. An axe. Down it came, in a swing as fast as lightning, cutting the man's neck in two, beheading the man who never flinched. Blood splattered everywhere.
"FFAARRRT WHAT THE FUCK FFWEET!?"
Silence, but for the heavy breathing of nonO.
"Ffert God DAMN it, nonO! ffp Why did you do that!? shhtffp Arrgh... You messed ffp it up again! ffeep I mean, what's the pfrit goddamn point of sfp hooking him up to that venom? Ffpp Hmm!? What!? Tell me! shrfp"
"lawL. sumtaymeS U gotS tA rerangE dA rewlS. I M pleezeD wiT todazE owtcuM."
"Ffrpt You piss me ffp off so much sometimes fffrapt... Let's get outta here ffrp, but first I'm going to leave ppffpp our card."
nonO stepped out of the way as Goatse placed his face over the severed head and body and let loose the shit that had built up over the past few days. A muddy, brown, liquid shit came flowing out of Goatse's face and plopped upon the deceased man who never flinched. Goatse grabbed paper towels off the counter and wiped his face, then followed nonO to the front door.
"Ffrp What are we going ffwip to do with the girls pff?"
"waT gurlS," nonO asked rhetorically and giggled as they left the apartment.
Goatse pulled his eyes away from a photo of the man's wife and daughter hanging on the wall and shut the door behind them.
"Ttff You mean you- oh, man fferp, you're sick, making a man think his fft family's in danger when they're already piff dead ffp."
And so the beheaded man looked blankly at a blood covered cupboard, shit now mixed with the tears that poured from his determined, unflinching eyes. He never flinched. He never will.
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you think I have ANY idea how I'm gonna end my monstrocity? I mean I got a vague idea but, I keep adding to it as I go and as you guys continue to give me great ideas...
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Like the Hello Kitty Vader *snicker*. Juuuuust kidding. Seriously though, I've found some other funny ones.
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What's the haps 'round here? Editing through the night and drinking while doing it and listening to some Silversun Pickups is my gameplan.
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If my roomie would just leave his puter out for ONE night. I don't want to sit at my work desk any longer than I have to after an eight-hour day, y'know?
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...that was fucking scary.That messed up typing for the bad guys is unsettling...
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At least, I'm hoping you're mining some depths. If that shit comes easily to you, you should really let me know.
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Mar 04, 2010 8:33:15 PM CST
...I've been listening to Silversun Pickups recently too...
by flickapoo
...I got two albums at the same time, I've only gotten into one so far...the one with the song about how many ways do you want to die, and the royal we...
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Joined a co-ed kickball league. Had our first two games last night (every team has a double-header one week). We won both games, 11-1 and then 15-4. I scored two runs and kicked in a few others. Had a lot of fun. Glad to be active in a team sport again. But oof, my ankles and knees aren't what they used to be, and I'm not even 30 yet.
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Actually, The Royal We is playing RIGHT now. I love it. Love that one, Panic Room, and Catch & Release. Its Nice to Know You Work Alone is good too. But I want the first album, bc I absolutely LOVE Lazy Eye and Well Thought Out Twinkies.
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This past week, on some show my gf and I watch, someone mentioned clean fingernails on a guy being a sign, a turnoff. "Jerk-nails" I think they called them.
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"Do I belong in the conversation about the best artists in the world? My answer is yes, I do."
BWAH-HAHA-HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -
...from running or lifting, eh?...all the starting and stopping works all these little muscles you never though in normal exercise...killer.
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Sonic youth meets smashing pumpkins..... Ahhhh they all have estrogenic bassists!
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was to finally get my daughter's stages built. I smell all manly too...its a sawdust and power-tool kinda smell...
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...but I just started writing and didn't look back. No editing. No editing.
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...of him wanting to rip the guy's head off and moments later getting his own head chopped clean off.
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The character nonO's face is different for each person who gazes upon it. It's the most horrifying face imaginable.
They're connected to the Man on the Can somehow... -
...sounds like the angry Michael Jackson, Dirty Diana voice...just for a split second.I think it taps into some sort of subliminal pop-music erogenous zone from when I was a kid and thought Beat It was the coolest song in the history of the world.
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You choose.
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...the Mighty Palpatine Of Plywood?
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It was love at first listen with that one. Definitely Sonic Youth meets Smashing Pumpkins with that one. It just felt so new and unique- unlike every derivative bit of "new rock" that comes out nowadays- and yet it also sounded like something from a time capsule buried in the 90s. It was bliss.
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...those are like Low Men...but worse...
[shudder] -
Love it. I also bought Well Thought Out Twinkles and Panic Room as extra songs to rock out to.
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Mar 04, 2010 9:06:33 PM CST
...I was a little disappointed when I learned the singer...
by flickapoo
...isn't a chick though. Nothing wrong with a guy of course, but that would be a really cool girl voice...like a cross between Billy Corgan and Johnette Napolitano from Concrete Blonde.
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I prefer his angry voice like in the climax of Lazy Eye, honestly. I like it. He doesn't sound like the whiney singers of Nickelback or Switchfoot or whatever is the new "it" band of crappy pop-rockdom.
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http://tinyurl.com/yewgsek
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I'm insanely attracted to chick rockers. I love Fiona Apple and Tori Amos, and I think the lead singer for Paramore is a hot little cutie, and I don't know about Flyleaf's singer, but I'm MUCH much more forgiving when its a girl singing the song than when its a dude. Call me sexist. Or horny. But I hear ya, Flicka. If Silversun Pickups' lead singer was a chick, it WOULD be better.
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I have a mean, twisted sense of justice within me, and I do want to help people and put the bad men behind bars. If I could do anything else, it'd be that.
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Mar 04, 2010 9:11:56 PM CST
Yes, Flick and they love the shiny dance surface...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
because it will reflect all the lighting back up onto them while they dance...3 portable 4 ft by 4 ft dancing space two feet off the ground for less than half cost of renting equivilant stages. They can also be linked together to form one long 4 ft by 12 ft stage where all three of them can dance together...
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Mar 04, 2010 9:12:11 PM CST
Well, 'moose, you have definitely upped the horror factor.
by subtitles_off
We just have to let it go where it's gonna go. It's Flick or Mac's turn.We've got one horrendous creature cornered in a movie theater on one side of town, and two obscenely horrifying demons on the other side of town wreaking havoc.
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Or a paleontologist.
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...it's the power of rock.And abandon I think...when a woman really lets herself go on stage like that...
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Pffft.
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We don't need no gun control.
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But very effective at making those two shadowy men seem to be not human. and the idea of ripping off strips of skin reminded me of a demon in the later season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Cool deal.
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Real Old Testament Evil...Love the way they talk...it as an unsettling as hell segment...Great job!!! They HAVE to be responsible for what happened to the tragic Can Man...
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Though she isn't much to look at. And apparently she's a dirty girl, the way I hear it, based on the things she's said and sung.
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Something Neil Gaiman would write in the Sandman series. Kudos for that.
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http://tinyurl.com/ybvroo7
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Yeah its different than the working out soreness. I'm actually not as sore as I expected, mainly bc I stretched out a lot before the game. I don't have health insurance so I always try to be extra careful. But we were playing on astroturf and I'm wearing my old high school soccer cleats I haven't worn since intramural soccer in college back in 03-04. So my left ankle is a bit sore, and yeah I'm sure its the starting and stopping. The running up to kick hard with the right foot, and the running fast and immediate stopping to stay on a base and not get tagged. But its great. I love feeling sore. I've missed it.
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...what people wanted to be when they grew up, or now if they could pick anything.I remember wanting to be Tarzan when I was four...like it was a job you could do.My Pedalbacking time is about over for the evening though...
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For your daughter? What for? What'd I miss? She putting on a family play?
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That's my worst nightmare!!!!
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73 years old! And that's a cop driving!
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Don't even play by the rules they set up. That is evil. And unsettling. Like I said, reminds me a lot of Neil Gaiman.
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have a company that does belly dancing, hoop dancing and fire spinning and they have a show/rave/party next Saturday night at this sprawling venue in central Dallas...My baby girl is getting paid to dance without a pole being in the equation...
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...what will happen if I don't get on the stick and update my profile at The Shelter...
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So I'll just say that when I was kid, I unequivocally wanted to be either an artist or a scientist. So I got science lab for kids kits and artist tools for kids. On top of that, I also thought I wanted to be a standup comedian (bc I liked making people laugh), an astronaut (bc I wanted to float in anti-gravity), and a lawyer (bc I was good at arguing). Later, I decided I wanted to be an archaeologist like Indiana Jones. I also thought they dug up dinosaur bones. When I learned the proper terminology, I decided to be a paleontologist. As a kid, I got the idea that you couldn't live being an artist (who would pay for your paintings if you weren't famous?) and somehow didn't factor in the idea that I could be an illustrator for books or comics. But I loved animation and decided I'd go into that. So for most of my life, I seriously was going to be either a paleontologist digging up dinosaur bones or an animator for Disney. I threw in photographer or zoologist for fun on school polls used to help guide you toward your adult destination. In high school I learned that the good paleontology schools were sorta out of reach. Same went for animation. Then Titanic came out. And I saw how many pple went to go see it over and over. And how powerful the filmmaking was during the sinking sequence (which was just awesome in my opinion). And I decided I wanted to do that, I wanted to make movies. And that clinched it for me in 10th grade. I went to film school for summer after 11th grade and learned a lot. Before that, I had always made home movies for school projects when it was allowed, so I had a small bit of experience with it. And only after college did I get the bug to be a cop, to fulfill my vigilante wishes, my desire to be a hero.
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... Is an idiot for wearing black at night! In the rain!
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And how old is she???
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Her friend is teaching her..but, it is mostly about the belly dancing...
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...of your list...I'll have to list mine tomorrow morning or some other time...I tend to be overly thorough...
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Listening to it now. Got the CD on loop while I export videos.
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"tA raynE iS feelineZ & dawgZ."
Indeed, nonO drove with Goatse through a heavy rainfall, which started not long after they left the apartment building. nonO was the first to break the silence.
"Pffp 'It's jumpin' Jesus time frp.' What the fuck, man fpp? What fft does that even ffit mean? Ffret Y'know, I tolerate way ffp more than half the nonsensical stuff pfft you say ffrip, but that takes the fffrt fucking cake, man. I mean, really zhrt."
"shooD I saY nycE theengS," nonO cast a sidelong glance at his passenger, who briefly caught sight of his face.
"Ffript N-no, uh, it's alright. Ffp Heh heh... It was pretty pff funny, now that I rrft think about it."
"phunnY?"
Goatse was at a loss for words. He didn't want to get into a thing about it, so he shut up. Instead he asked, "Ffp Um, hey, what ffript did you do with ffp that skin you peeled off pfft back there? It's just- I never saw it leave your ffp hand."
"iM stawrtinG A kwilT. iN pockeT," nonO took one thin hand off the steering wheel and pulled out, from his front coat pocket, a small, folded "quilt" made of pieces of human flesh stitched together with leather string.
"Ffp Heh heh heh. HA FFP FRRT HA HA HEE PFFT HEE HAA FFPT!"
"glaD U enjoiD."
The two arrived at their mysterious destination in the veil of darkness. -
all the colors
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Just kidding Cheeses. Sorta. I totally thought your kids were under 10, and this was something like Sparklemotion (from Donnie Darko). I very often forget how old we are here. I'm sorry to say I lumped you in with Flicka as being a young parent.
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of belly dancers. Now that they have their stage I am interested in the rave, which i didn't know that is what the stage was for. What kind of debauched losers will our dancers have to fend off? I love this story cause it is real and goes on indeffinately.
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I have three 'adult' children. Two were born in 1980...The bellydancing one in '86...
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"What kind of debauched losers will our dancers have to fend off?"That's why I'm also working as security for the show..."Off the stage, punk.." I been practicin' with my billy club and waitin' for my Taser to come in the mail...
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a thin piece of metal sewn between 2 thick pieces of leather. The thing has a real snap to it that I wouldn't wan to be on the receiving end of. I'll Fed Ex it to you if it keeps our dancers safe.
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... Telling us his daughter is a 24 year old dancer who likes belly dancing and is about to learn how to juggle fire... I mean... That is insanely HOT and he HAS to know that! And he has to know we will soon be asking for pictures as proof...
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Really? Hot damn! And I thought my parents were young when they had me at 23!
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I've been to this place before and most of the young kids are too E-tarded and 'shroomed out to put up much of a disagreement when confronted by an authority figure...
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daughter dancing more than once. I try to stay respectful. Pedalback code and all. I am hoping for video of the other 2 girls dancing that aren't Cheeses daughter. Then all bets are off.
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My first wife, who is the mother of my bellydancer, had a son when we met...I adopted him and we had a daughter together...Later, we divorced and I married a woman who had a daughter who was born in the same year...She was like 10 when I met her...and I raised her just as I would my own and both of them turned out great. My biological daughter is almost as crazy as I am with an extra helping of crazy from her mom's side...I love her but, damn, she is high maitenance...I have posted her video many times...
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Is it at the Sanctuary? I promise I'm not a horny bastard.
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So you have one biological daughter, and she's the belly dancer. And then two stepchildren. Was the stepdaughter born the same year as your daughter or as the previous stepson? And am I wrong in my math, or did you have your daughter when you were 23-24, same age as my parents?
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"Build My stage!""Protect me and my hot hot friends from drugged up horn dogs wasted on pcp."Next you'll be driving em to Burning Man for a two show engagement.Your a good dad Cheeses.
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http://vimeo.com/3306358
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my brother and me. I have a lot of respect for my dad cause he worked a job he hated, nights, for over 20 years supporting the family. He eventually was let go from that job for what i considered to be bullshit reasons about his health. i thought his employer fucked him. I had never seen him happier the day he got fired from that job.I said, "what are we gonna do?" He smiled and shrugged. He is now a charter captain fishing for salmon and trout. It is what he always wanted to do and now he makes a living at it. Thus ends my long winded tale about babies having babies.
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We have actually discussed Burning Man...I want to go!!!!Vader...The two adopted kids were born in the same year... When my original kids would visit for holidays, the two oldest bonded and left out my baby girl...So, I spent "too" much time with her, some said...But, honestly, she has ALWAYS had me wrapped around her little finger...
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I hope you don't mind me saying. Its true. She actually looks like a younger version of my dad's current girlfriend, who is very pretty in my opinion. What's with the black dude on a horse? Hilarious. And did you shoot this, or a friend of your daughter's? And who did the music?
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sheesh;)
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A guy I work with in the biz, his brother is a performer there every year I think. Anyway, I hope you don't think this is out of line, I don't intend it that way, but do you or did you ever think your stepchildren, boy and girl, were ever attracted to each other?
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Cheeses are your kids named Luke and or Leia? Did they ever kiss without knowing they were related on some kind of "good luck" basis?
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Got a lot of videos to export, and it usually takes me about 4 hours to do it all, and I've got more tonight than I usually do. So I'm a few scotches and a few beers deep, and I hope you guys will forgive me for any inappropriate questions I may be asking (though so far, I think I'm in the clear). I did like the music, though!
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No, I didn't shoot it, the guy in the video was the director and his guy filmed it...The black guy on the horse just wandered up on where they were filming in the park and he was a funny guy. He agreed to have some video taken of him and he left muttering, "Crazy white people..."
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So you won't get off the hook easy either.
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The black guy just wandered over? That shit is ridiculous. No wonder it is the most random part of the video.
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You know, I hear that was the original ending to M Night Shyalmalan's "The Happening". SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT!!! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! But I hear it ended with........ the girl from the Village showing up and asking for help, and the person who helps her is some black guy in a truck who says "crazy fucking white people" under his breath. HI-larious.
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My second wife and I used to have that very same converstaion...It was like, how come Greg and Marcia Brady never fucked...they weren't even related...
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Damn, I screwed up a big thing there. Hope no one minds. I mean, Its M Night at this point: pretty much a joke.
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Two young people at the same age get close but aren't related... they're bound to feel something for each other at some point, I firmly believe.
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And Boone and Shannon are two characters in the same situation- met each other when they were 10 but were step-siblings... but within the same marriage, not separate ones like yours. So its been on my mind more than once this evening.
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...good work. See you in the morning...Watch out for bad guys...
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and we were filming at bar for drag queens (don't ask). We were strapped (not like that) for extras and this heavy set black dude in sweat pants came over to check shit out. I thought it was very weird. After the shoot we were packing up and the dude sold me weed (ooooh, thats why he was here). No. Not weed. A bag of random stems and seeds non thc related. He pulled it out of his sweat pants (again don't ask)and held it up to the light in the alley. I was running craft service and gave him all teh food $ for it. I was a stupid stoner kid. Thus ends my long winded tale of how I became street wise on the drag queen circuit.DISCLAIMER: This story has been 100% fact.
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but, nothing happened as far as I know...She is now a marketing exec at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas who plays soccer, has her mother's tits and is currently between boyfriends, and My son is an HVC maintenence supervisor in Seattle who lives with the cutest, hottest little brainless nypho you could ever wish to meet...
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I don't think I realized you work in production too. Or *did* work in production? What's up with that? Gimme a rundown!
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Was working on a VERY low budget indie film 'till about 5-5:30 in the morning. Everyone grabs a beer out of the grips' coolers while we breakdown just before dawn. Then we head back to someone's motel room, where we continue to get drunk in the morning, and start partaking in the home-made hooka, made from a fucking plastic water cooler tank. And while 15 of us are in a room smoking from this contraption and drinking, we're all watching the Boobahs, that fucking show for infants made by the Teletubbies creators (which was made for older toddlers). So we're all wigging out watching as the show tells us about our relatives, having the "Granddad!" go flying through the screen, towards some center of a vortex of swirling colors, while the Boobahs shout his name... then comes the SON!!! and the MOM!!! and the DOG!!! , all spinning towards this black hole center of the screen. God it freaked us out.
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Always a red flag...
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You really ARE trying to rile me up with speech like "has her mother's tits" and "hottest little brainless nypho you could ever wish to meet" aren't you? Ain't fair, my man. Ain't fair.
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Our stories are oh too interesting for him to leave behind for a night =).
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Mar 04, 2010 11:30:52 PM CST
Home made hookas are good like that, Vaderman...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
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I was 23 and had never smoked before in my life. My first time was the week before with my housemates that summer shooting the film. I slept in a sleeping bag on a couch that entire month.
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not counting the 3 beers I had before I went to build the stages...Yeah, I operate power tools after 3 beers...I have never lost a digit...
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My roomate of the time paid me $50 1981 dollars to bake us some cookies...I tried but we ended up eating slightly toasted cookie dough...
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Is the 12th Beer Alert an actual alert for your 12th beer or a euphemism for "I've had a few tonight"? Bc if that's the case, I think I could say I'm on my 12th beer alert, though I'm really on my... 2 scotches and 3 beers alert.
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I did a feature right out of college(the one i just mentioned). BTW the dealer wasn't a cross dresser he was just hanging around a film crew that looked like they might buy. The movie was a real piece of uninspired shit that was trying to cash in on the There's Something About Mary era. It unfunny and stupid, but a good time for the most part. I was a P.A.Then I did a short film that I posted a link for here at some point. Subs has the link in one of the Subbarries. That was more fun and I was Prop Master on that.I did a Buik commercial for an ad agency P.A.I was a P.A. for a sporting goods store commercial during the 9/11 attack. I remember standing at the registers of the store watching the plane hit.Then i did some kind of educational video for an ad agancy. I have no idea what this was about.As you can see though the jobs get less fun and more about trying to earn a buck. After that I got into installing home theater(close to working in movies) and now I work for a TV station doing local news.Thus concludes the long sad history of an aspiring director who never made it out of his home town;)
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Amazing. I should have tried to hold out for some (figurative) dough like that, thought some (literal) dough like that sounds tasty at the moment.
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Holy shit. Damn. So... I guess you live in NYC? If so, I was unaware of this. What do you do in local news now?
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this carpenter/spoiled rich kid had this huge sony rear pro TV and just gave it to me...???...I couldn't stand for that so I offered to help in his shop here and there til I "worked it off". He had stacks of lumber that he was conitioning or something and it was all stacked up on aluminum saw horses. It had to get moved out of the way. being stupid lazy stoners we tried to slide the wood on the saw horses instead of lifting each piece one at a time.Little known fact: Aluminum bends real easy. The saw horse collapsed like a soda can and nearly ripped my arm off. Thus ends the long winded story of my free tv I am still watching nearly 10 years later.
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I was sober then. It is now almost midnight...In that time, I have consumed twelve 12 oz cans of Coors Light...twelve beers in 5 hours..slightly more than 2 beers per hour...Really impressive...
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I am in upstate NY. I do tapes/audio/live truck operation. You can find me in the ghetto at 11 at night feeding back live video of the blood stain on the street.
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you'll be drunker with less fluids. Thats why I drink the hard shit straight. I have the bladder of a 4 year old girl ever since i did a U turn and bent my 86 camaro around another car.
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AND, I have to answer to the 'Ass Crack of Dawn' tommorrow morning...6 AM will be here in 6 hours...
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or i'm a pissy bitch.
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Mar 04, 2010 11:59:44 PM CST
Nice Mac. I hate to say I got a free tv much easier than that
by d.vader
After a job, the coordinator told me to clean out the director's hotel room. They had bought him a big screen tv and a DVD player. He was keeping the DVD player and taking it with him. But I was told I could keep whatever else in the room, including the TV, providing I could carry it. Needless to say, I got housekeeping to help me get that mother off the dresser, and I carried it to my car. The weight of it, and the lack of easy handholds on the television (which I will FOREVER curse tv makers for NEVER making on their big screen tvs), left marks/cuts on my forearms that lasted for over a year. But I got a free TV out of it, which is still sitting in my mom's living room (she made me take the smaller tv that had been in its place). So that's pretty awesome. Production work does have its perks sometimes.
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I almost had a freelance job working in the truck during a UNC football game, but it fell through. So I have no experience with that at all. CHEESES- do you find you need 12 beers to get a buzz? Luckily, I'm still young and a few beers and scotches work for me. Drink the Flying Dog DOUBLE DOG beer- its 11% alcohol. I will forever thank HawaiianOrganDonor or ToadKillerDog for turning me on to that one. I hope it was those two, otherwise I just made a fool of myself in front of the old CoCers/Balebackers.
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or something similar. My joke for those, when I was doing home theater and we had to move one, was that you had to ask the 2 asian guys that live in it and make it work to come out before you lifted it. those fuckers weigh more than 2 people.
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in an auto accident in early 2004...I feel you...Plus, I have been convicted of 3 DWI's in my 48 years on this planet...Long stories every one...
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not overly alcholic but strong just the same. A few of those and I'm good. When I drink beer. Man I need a beer. Driving home gents. Back ina bit if your still around. See yous on the flippity flop.
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Racist and techno-ist. I love it. Actually, yeah, what I grabbed was in the 30-40 inches range. And I think it was a Sony. Its big and grey.
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Just finished off the last bottles of their Spring Variety Pack. I love Magic Hat, they're my new favorite beer.
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My CD is winding down for the 6th time, and I just finished the last export. See you gents later, its been fun!
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The car came to a full stop at the curb across the street from an old theater. Goatse looked anxiously out the window at the building, shaking his right leg up and down nervously.
"Ffp This is the place pfft?"
"yessirinO," whispered nonO as he turned the car off and exited.
Goatse followed nonO behind a diner. "Fpp What're we doi-"
nonO had pushed a double edged knife through the gaping anus on Goatse's face and into his brain, killing him instantly. He let go of the knife and Goatse dropped lifelessly to the ground. nonO picked him up and dropped him into a nearby dumpster. As he started cutting out a piece of flesh for his quilt, he giggled a little to himself and began to speak to the dead Goatse.
"nO wE, frenD. onlY mE... watS thaT? nO. nO awffeR. nO griiD. juS fuN. lafF tymE. centS uV phunnY."
nonO closed the dumpster, put the skin in his pocket, and crossed the street. -
What is this world coming too
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But I dunno if it was by accident or not. I'm disappointed. It was my first time .
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nonO leaves no fingerprints, because he has none.
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artoftrolling.com
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ArtofTrolling I mean. Looks like something from 4Chan.
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'Til tomorrow aroud 6 PM...
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FAILblog is on there, too. This one features a lot of Chatroulette trolls. Just warnin' ya.
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PJ HARVEY, that girl from the dead weather, and the mutha of them all--KIM DEAL...if i ever see her, im gonna challenge her to a drinking contest...and lose...rachael yamagata is a cutey too..i saw her when liz phair was touring a few back..stole her show from liz.
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i am so ready for the weekend..prolly gonna see AVATAR again (this time with the wife) and sneak in ALICE with the boythen oscars...yay!
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Mar 05, 2010 8:30:06 AM CST
...guys were in rare form last night. I love origin episodes...
by flickapoo
...especially when they come later in the series and fill in lots of tantalizing blanks...
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See you all in a bit.
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Mar 05, 2010 8:52:49 AM CST
...my sink sponge smells like rotten macaroni and cheese...
by flickapoo
...it's clean, it just smells like morning breath.
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so i can go in unbiased as can be...anyone else going to ALICE this weekend?
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Here's an interesting read for a lazy Sunday afternoon, introducing Demons of Poo ...March 4th, 2010 ...white_vades arrives to find the pub closed and all the regulars gone home. ...Without being asked, Soundblaster suggests a Kurosawa double feature. ...He's said it before, and he'll say it again - Sixies loves Pixies! ...If technology can allow a speechless Roger Ebert to communicate through a computer in his own voice, what's to stop Flick from impersonating Tom Waits in the future? [phone rings] "Hello," I'll answer. "Can I see you tonight on a downtown train?" asks a voice sounding like gravel stones being rubbed together at the bottom of a vat of rye whiskey. "Tom Waits?" "What are you wearing?" the voice will growl. "Dammit, Flick!!!" ...Sixies makes his serious Oscar predictions, and I make mine, less so. ...D.Vades wakes up to fountainous spew erupting from his toilet, resulting from the City Water Dept cleaning the sewers with pressurized water. Vades imagines sitting on the toilet at the time and the resulting horror, which gives The Peebers some silly ideas. ...Series7 liked the animated film 9. ...Flick imagines an obese man stuck on a toilet during a pressurized cleaning, with the sewer water liquefying his insides and exploding out of his eye sockets. ...Discovery Channel's survivalist Bear Grylls sticks a hose up his ass. (http://tinyurl.com/yaa686k) ...Real weed: relatively harmless, illegal. Fake weed: contaminated with unknown toxics, legal. ...Now, Flick imagines The Man On The Can, reduced to an empty skin sack after having his gooey internals blown out of his eye sockets, slipping off his toilet, craving, craving, craving, craving some new insides. ...Stabby thinks Famke Jansen would have made a better "Baroness," and, you know what, I'm just going to have to take his word for it. ...The earthquake in Chile likely shifted the Earth's axis, shortening the day by a microsecond. ...Kevin Smith really liked SCOTT PILGRIM, and, you know what, I'm just going to have to take his word on it. (http://tinyurl.com/ybbhyum) ...Darth Vader's head is one of the gargoylesque sculptures adorning The National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. I wonder how that one slipped past The Right-Wingers' radars, what with that "No False Idols"-thing, and all? ...Comic book update: Green Arrow's sidekicks have all been dismembered, so the Robin-Hood-With-Trick-Arrows has snapped and is running around murdering people. Hey kids, Comics! ...Holy cow urine, Batman! (http://tinyurl.com/y9m8nl9) ..."Dad, you've changed. You don't even watch ROCKY anymore." When life in South Philly gets you down, you get up, you work out, you montage, you face your inner pussy and you kick its little ass. (http://tinyurl.com/yj2w43x) ...Bodybuilders with mullets, wearing Daisy Duke shorts, acting über-mercenary (http://tinyurl.com/yglxyca) ...Stephen King ...Flick's slithering empty condom-shaped man picks a victim. ...Alt-keys (http://www.tedmontgomery.com/tutorial/altchrc.html) ...white_vades and Flick share work miseries. ...Mac takes a whack at Flick's living sausage casing and a popcorn vendor pays the price. It's a jam! I introduce an inept Special Victims Unit to investigate the horrors as comic relief. And 'moose makes it scary again with a couple of Clive Barkerian demons, one with the creepiest pidgen-speak, ever, and the other who spits - "fttp" - when he talks. ...Silversun Pickups rock. Lead singer sounds like a chick, though. ...Sore kickball muscles ...Vades' boyhood ambitions ...Cheeses finally finishes his daughter's stage / platforms for an upcoming rave. ...Vades asks some personal step-sibling questions. ...Mac tells of the time he found out what was inside in a drag queen's sweat-pants. ...True Tales of Pedalbackery, with Vades, Mac and Cheeses, including production jobs, Boobahs and under-baked cookie dough ... -
i liked it..it was weird hearing tina fey as the mommy...
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That's a Commandment.
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anonymoose's stories: totally disgusting.
I couldn't stop reading for some reason. -
I'm looking forward to it. Gonna throw back a 40 oz. of Robitussin right before.
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7.8% Alc. and complete with a skeletal portrait of Hunter S. Thompson by Ralph Steadman. http://www.flyingdogales.com/Beer-Specialty-Gonzo.aspx
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I can probably do it if the roles have not been cast yet.
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...I'll watch dubbed if the voices don't piss me off. Dubbed TOTORO is quite serviceable.I won't watch dubbed live action of course, but with animation it kills me to have to read and not study the images properly.
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...by the way.
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on PONYO..it just started with the disney FastPlay shit..and i ran with it...didnt take it to the RedBox so maybe i'll watch it again..hafta say--my two year old loved the shit outta it..
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Mar 05, 2010 9:56:05 AM CST
actually to think of it...ive watched them ALL DizDubbed!!
by six demon bag
and i..i--i just cant comprehend that...
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...FastPlay with those unskippable fucking previews?...on a scale of 1 to 100?
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Or anything that is overly visual for that matter. I find myself rewinding and rewatching a lot.
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i make sure i have the remote in my hand in order to hit the MENU button..otherwise i have to FF scan thru them...argh!!!
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Subtitles_Off is Pro-Subtitles!
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...I get that damn little Ghostbusters symbol at the top of the screen...have to sit there and zip through everything.Fucking Disney.
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was alone in the office, manning the phones after the others had all scurried off, panicked, to the movie theater. He had ceased taking notes on his current conversation while all the other lines rang unanswered."Yes, ma'am. I heard you. But, I can't understand you unless you calm down... Yes. Yes, I understand you're frightened. You were driving home from work, and when you stopped at a light another car pulled up beside you, but you can't tell me the make or color of the car... Ma'am...ma'am... Yes, That's better ma'am. Now, can you tell me again what the driver looked like?... What?!!?... The driver looked like Snooki. Snooki from the TV show? Only she had a what, ma'am?... A long, forked tongue like a lizard's. Right, ma'am... No... No. Go on... She was licking a John Mayer-shaped popsicle?... I see, it WAS John Mayer. ON a popsicle... No, ma'am... No. I can imagine Snooki's tongue might be lizard length. I just can't imagine John Mayer being popsicle size... I'm not saying you're a liar, ma'am. Maybe it was a trick of the light... You're home now, ma'am, and you're safe. I suggest you brew yourself a hot cup of tea and curl up under a blanket. And, ma'am. No reality TV tonight, OK?"Washed Up dropped the receiver into its cradle and fumbled along the side of the phone to turn the ringer volume all the way low. "It's like this whole town is smoking K-2 and hallucinating tonight," he mumbled."It's no hallucination," came a soft, firm, British voice from behind him.He spun around in his chair, seeing only the old filing cabinet and the shadows of the corner wall. Light from the street shone through the slats of the blinds, casting shapes across the bare wall behind him, art-directorily, like from some old, black-n-white, silent vampire movie. You could've heard the dust settle if dust made a sound as it settled. "Who's there," Washed Up barked.Sighing, "Now, I'm hearing things," he turned his chair back around. Standing there in front of his desk was a tall, thin figure dressed in a charcoal color trench-coat, his features obscurred by the brim of his fedora."Who are you? Who let you in here?""My name is [the sound of crashing waves and radio static as mewled by kittens having their tails chewed upon by rats].""Um, OK, Mr., um, would you mind spelling your name?" Washed Up's trembling hand crawled across his desk for his pad and pencil."Certainly. My name is spelled ♫ ╚╩╦╔ž♫. But that isn't important. What is important is that you are all in grave danger." -
from meetings (with a detour to finally watch Shutter Island). When I say "We" I mean the agency I'm doing it through who brought me on through familiarity with other mascot stuff I'd done. I used to have an illustrator's agent, but they sorta really slacked off and besides, agent's fees down here are 25 fucking percent (for making a few phone calls!), so I decided while I can get away with it, the majority of my work which is through word-of-mouth is just fine (when I'm not on a flick). So anyway I've got my fingers crossed that today's meetings will yield my first little animate-y directing gig. Cross yours for me too!
And man, 48 spreads is a long haul all right. I thought comics were bad, but phew... the suckiest part is going for months without a paycheck. Do you find that the stuff seems stale because you did the roughs/planning so long ago, or does the completion of each final piece keep you going? From memory you do practical collage don't you? That seems like it'd be fairly fresh and fun with each new piece.
Oh and am I breaching protocol conducting a semi-private little conversation in here?
And I actually like the original Fox dubbing on Totoro better than the Disney one. Too bad that's pan and fucking scan though... Another one I actually will buy again on Bd. -
Buy them!!! Buy them
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- at first with the darkness and the bucket and all it made me picture Brad Pitt ivestigating buckets through the beautiful cinematography of Darius Khonji.
Then the other stuff with Goatse (Ahhhh! Goatse!) and the Creepyspeak!© made me think of Bill Sienkiewicz's Stray Toasters. Brrrrr! -
...oooh, good one.
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On rented I don't mind so much. But if I buy a DVD/Blu-Ray I don't want to have to fast-fwd thru commercials to get to the movie I paid for. I don't mind them putting trailers in the Extras.
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that's on every Blu-Ray. I know Blu-Ray haas state of the art visual quality. That's why I bought a Blu-Ray player and am now watching one. You do not have to sell me on Blu-Ray. Oh and by the way, if you're going to put an ad saying how awesome Blu-Ray i you might want to have that add actually be recorded in Blu-Ray quality instead of the pixally crap I'm watching.
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with his nonO adventures.
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Stabby, yes v.annoying - lookin at you DISNEY!
Before the weekend washes us all away i'd like to nominate the next Bamf location...
Muppet Wicker Man. Why? Because I see a flicker of genius within. -
then Roderick Usher would be one of the few men to hear it.
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Buy them!!! Buy them
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...this is really interesting for me, because you're in the opposite end of the illustration world.An agent worked out great for me in the beginning (yes, she takes 25%). Most of my first jobs were through her contacts, and illustration wasn't full time for the first few years...so she could work the phones, negotiate etc...while I stacked hay bales all day...taking time off from work only once the job was booked.
Now that I mostly only do books it makes a lot less sense, but we're friends now, so I'm torn about it.I'm at a bit of a crossroads right now...I payed my dues in advertising and editorial, illustrated a bunch of books for other writers...and now have one of my publishers interested in a little story of my own (nearly wordless). The problem is that years of grinding it out commercially have left me feeling somewhat disconnected from my style...I have an opportunity to do whatever I want, and I'm feeling adrift.To put it in the context of a different talkback I was just in, I feel a little like Tim Burton...stuck in a commercial product rut...I need to get the eye of the tiger back...figure out what I want to say not that I have a chance to say it... -
That is the kind of non-news story the Pedalback was founded on.
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Mar 05, 2010 10:58:21 AM CST
...I third it. I support the spirit of Jim Henson in any shape.
by flickapoo
...or form.
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"Look, pal. I'm here by myself, and as you can see, I'm a little, bit, of an iota busy. So, I don't really have time for any spooky, crackhead fantasies. Let me see some identification.""Schlomo Herschberg, you must listen to what I have to say.""Nobody's called me Schlomo since...Hey, waitaminute. Do I know you?""No, but I've been a fan since you were a comedian back in the 70s. You used to be on the telly all the time. Whatever happened to that?""Tastes change. Political humor did the permanent Baloo, as the kids got into poo and dick jokes...Wait, that's not the point! Who are you, and what are you doing here?""As I was saying," his face got quiet-yet-firm once more. "Something, something evil, something from deep within the bowels of the Earth has been accidentally released upon your city, and I have come to warn you that only a man such as yourself can sway its wrath.""A man such as me?""A non-Christian, one not tethered to the tenets of medieval faiths.""OK, pal, look. I'm an atheist. I have been since I changed my name to John Hersch. I'd love to help you out, though, so why don't we just walk over to the holding cell there and take a seat." Washed Up rose and joined the man at the front of the desk. With one hand upon his holster, he placed his other hand upon the figure's shoulder."An atheist? Even better than a Jew!""Did I say 'atheist?' I meant I converted to Islam.""Oh no, not a Muslim.""That's right, I'm a self-hater. Now, if you'll just..." Washed Up felt heat under the palm of his hand upon the man's shoulder. The heat began to tingle up his forearm. He felt dizzy as the warmth cascaded over him like warm milk. His knees buckled, and he was faintly aware of the tall figure catching him as he fell to the floor in a heap. The mysterious figure gently rested Washed Up's back and head against the side of the desk. He stood erect and peered around the office at the nameplates on the other desks. He stopped at one of the nameplates and read its inscription aloud, "Schlukkter." His gloved fingers spanned the surface of the nameplate, and his eyelids fluttered as he contemplated. Schlukkter, where are you now? The man envisioned a parking lot. People scurrying from a theater, vomiting half-digested popcorn. A police cordon. A very pretty man, possibly a homosexual, standing there. Schlukkter. Something approaching from behind. Something unspeakable. No, Schlukkter. You mustn't. You mustn't look at its face. -
Mar 05, 2010 11:00:07 AM CST
...the only thing worse than those Blu ads are the National...
by flickapoo
...Guard ads at the theater.
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and I love the Satanic music they play through them.
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...the stakes...
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I suggest, strongly, however, anyone wanting to make further contributions to our jam horror story post those here @ this node, until The Muppetwickerback is no longer current and the non-Peebers have been purged.
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Chores and ALICE.Back this evening.Leave breadcrumbs.
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works like a Skip button. When watching a disc that won't let you access the menu during previews just hit that button until you get to the start of the movie. If, like me, you watch discs on your computer, just right-click and select Next. Skip right over that crap.
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I've got seven months of laundry to do before 3:00.
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The Fatlad in Wonderland review, but no one will say anything there. Why the fuck did Scorsese and Burton pick such fucking just lame ass scripts of book adaptations? Neither script/story offeres anything new or interesting? I think they both knew that they would be easy sells and get butts in seats. Just seems so fucking lame.
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Actually was a graphic designer for many years and while I was at a particular agency became the in-house illustrator which let me do many styles. After making the freelance jump my way of paying the bills was to do any and every style so that instead of the client having to find an illustrator that did the style they were after they could just tell me what they wanted and I'd do it.
And I guess when you say "'not' that I have a chance to say it " you mean 'now'? Good luck with the Tiger's eye dude. Brothers in Jim (I got the "think different" poster with him and Kermit - gonna frame it)!! -
sweater" competitions?...
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Oscar Shorts? I'm thinking of going this weekend.
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...I wouldn't trade the years of commercial stuff though. Nothing gets your ass to finish something like A- having signed a contract, and B- having to pay the rent.Left to my own devices I would probably have just dreamed about all the cool stuff I was going to do...and never finished anything...
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...about 5% of the time I'm exhilarated...convinced I'm a genius.
15% of the time I'm really having fun.
30% of the time it's work...relatively pleasant work.
30% of the time I have to force myself.20% of the time I despise myself and my work, and fantasize about faking my own death and becoming a carpenter. -
...you should...and report back to us...
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Shutter and it blew. I tried to get free tickets to see Wonderland but no luck. I really don't wanna pay for it, but after 9 Burton is back on my good side. Even though he probably had fuck all to do with that movie.
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and I've got the germ of something about a maybe-connected crime called the case of the green apple splatters, where the detective has to decipher the psycho-symmetrical clues left in the Rorschach-like faecal sprays. Said detective is probably like a Dexter meets Mulder type working from the basement of the same Police Station who can decipher both the pattern of the spray and understands the element of urban legend present in such outrageous and unsettling emanations. Maybe there are connections to two girls one cup who are part of a coprophage ring with good ol' Goatse or something... But it's almost 5 in the morning and I canna string that shit (zing!) together. Ah well.
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...I haven't sent it back yet...trying to find the time. Should I bother?I'm a drawing and animation nut, so I'm looking for something substantive, not just your usual "magic of computers" featurette.
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Thank the fucking lord it's goddamn Friday.
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I got all excited, thinking maybe he'd faked his own death and become a carpenter. Then I realised again it's almost 5 in the morning here and I really should go to bed because I'm mixing Flick's posts...
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Didn't do the commentary. Nothing really special. Most of it was just people talking about how great Shane Acker is. There is a little insite by Acker about how he didn't know shit about 3d animation when he started the short and how it took him so long. One of the more interesting things was just showing the animators acting scenes out and reviewing those scenes on the computer, and how they all had a mirror at their desk to look at their face.
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You fucking douchebag! You fucking spoil the ending of Alice in Wonderland in your review by telling us who kills someone else. Not a single spoiler warning ANYWHERE. Fucking piece of shit, I am pissed.
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Its not really some big surprise spoiler or something?
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If I REALLY cared I wouldn't read shit. Also if knowing a certain part about a movie ruins the whole movie, then it probably wasn't worth watching in the first place. (Shutter Island).
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If I wasn't afraid of getting banned for the last and final time (and the only time I'd deserve it), but that piece of shit needs to know when he's fucked up, and he has FUCKED UP. And he won't apologize. I bet he won't even throw up a SPOILER ALERT later today. ... Well, he MIGHT do that, but it'll surprise me if he does. But he won't apologize. Or respond to my email in which I notify him of the spoiler and my extreme displeasure with his site.
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I did watch the Something Something something Darkside last night. Don't know if you like Family Guy or if you got a stick up your ass. But there were two interesting extras on that. 1 is a table read for the first half of the episode, its ok, they got a shitty ass camera angle though so you get bored real fast. They have the whole cast and crew jammed into this tiny room reading through the script (pretty much 100 people sitting there listen to Seth do voices). Also they had a sort of interesting feature of the guy talking (who was also the director) wasn't so lazy sounding about the story board to final scene comparisons. And a little something that sucked about the making of the poster, with never showing him actually working on the poster.
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Yes, it is a big surprise spoiler. Its the fucking death of one of the characters by someone else's hand. The point is, Harry knows how to play, its his fucking site, he KNOWS how to put spoiler warnings up. Not bothering to do so is just fucking lazy and one more sign that the guy just doesn't care anymore. Its frustrating, and its been building up for a long time. I hope I don't get banned for expressing my anger and displeasure with this site, but something tells me I will.
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Anger gone. Time to make a sandwich.
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DV...its Alice Kills the monster? Whats so surprising about that?
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SPOILERS SPOILERS First off, I have no idea the Jabberwocky is a villain. For all I know, its some poor misunderstood creature that's under the Red Queen's spell or something. I have no clue about its part in the film, and its something I VERY eagerly looked forward to seeing on the bigscreen and learning more about. ALL I knew about it was that Christopher Lee provides the voice. I expected there to be some part of the plot involving him, maybe he's just a scary monster in one scene bc he's a grumpy old man and pple keep stepping on his property. I don't know. But what I DO know now is that in the end, Alice chops his fucking head off, bc Harry was too lazy to put up a spoiler alert. You KNOW that's a spoiler Series. Telling something that happens at the end of the movie, especially when its the death of someone, is a fucking spoiler. We all know that around here. It doesn't matter whether or not we agree on the degree of how much it spoils (I think its a lot, bc now it sounds like whatever battle exists ends when the Jabberwock is killed), bc its a spoiler, plain and simple. SPOILERS OVER SPOILERS OVER Time for that sandwich. If all my posts disappear, it was nice knowing you all.
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Of course, I have a wedding to pay for, so that's not happening. I'm helping a buddy edit and shape his novel, and it's all I want to do these days.
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SPOILER the Jabberwocky was in ALICE. I guess I just didn't give enough of a shit to notice. Meh. Still bush league on Harry's part.
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I think it comes down to the fact that you actually had high hopes for Alice In Wonderland. To me it was like finding out that the bad guy dies at the end of a Disney film...like NO DUH! I don't know I just don't give a shit about spoilers its a very childish thing to me to be upset about. I mean i get why you can be upset, but in the end its like...fucking get over it.
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Its a spoiler. My expectations don't matter, only in so far as whether or not I want to be spoiled. Movies I don't care about at all and know I probably won't see, those are the films I'll probably read a spoiler-filled review for. And it SAYS Spoiler Alert, so I know what I'm getting. This IS a movie I DO want to see and I know I'm seeing it next weekend with my gf. I should KNOW that when I read one of Harry's reviews- that does NOT have a SPOILER ALERT tag on it- that I'm going to get a spoiler-free viewpoint. The Red Queen is who has been sold as being a bad guy. NOT the Jabberwock. So this isn't a case of "of course you should expect the bad guy to die in the end." And aren't you the one that got all pissy at Ebert bc you thought he had spoiled the end of Up in the Air?
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...would you be a novelist? Pullet-Surprise winning journalist? Director?You've tested the waters in all three areas...
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Journalism was just a compromise. I wanted to write, but I wanted to collect a steady paycheck.
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Direct screenplays.
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everyone got pissy at me for giving away the ending that I thought Ebert gave away in his review in up in the air. Turns out it was a badly written paragraph.
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It is a Disney movie. Maybe had it not been Disney i can see your anger. Also maybe you know more about Alice then I do because I heard Jaberwoky and just thought ok...monster.
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Read this paragraph. Tell me it doesn't read like Cloontang dies in the end. I mean I see what he was going for but its all over the place: George Clooney plays Bingham as one of those people you meet but never get to know. They go through all the forms, and know all the right moves, and you're “friends,” but — who's in there? At his funeral, people confess they never really knew him. Sitting in a first-class seat one day, asked where he lives, Bingham says, “Here.”
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Mar 05, 2010 12:47:29 PM CST
...realistic? Literary? Genre? Historical? Lesbian Erotica?..
by flickapoo
...slim perfect novellas or big thick doorstops?I'm partial to that rarest of marriages...literary genre fiction.And lesbian erotica of course.
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thanks guys...WTF seriously...and i was gonna watch it next tuesday!
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whoops
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...with a double spoiler twist!
I think Series plotted the whole thing...set you up as the fall guy! -
I tend to favor, in my writing anyway, a more direct approach in the language. You know, simple, direct, active sentences. But I like mood and character more than action and incident. But what do I write about? I like noir, and I like Lovecraftian metaphysical/cosmic terror. But I'm also a fan of Flannery O'Connor, Walker Percy's The Moviegoer (man, if there's ever a character I've identified with, it's Binx Bolling) and Tom McHale. I love the malaise and that fuzzy sense of spiritual confusion that comes when protagonists grapple with their faith or lack thereof. And I like incomprehensible monsters.
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...so its not exactly spitting. Think of it more like passing gas.
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... at the shelter, so we don't lose track of it.
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fastplay. Isn't it supposed to get you to the movie quicker?
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...it saves them precious minutes because they can just cram the disk in the player and walk away...don't even have to sit with their kid for the TEN FUCKING MINUTES it takes to get through all the Disney promos.So parents stick in the disk and get back to watching Oprah on the other TV...meanwhile the kid is forced to sit through the same merchandising shit every time they watch the movie.They pretend they're saving you time by making it a hassle to skip their crap.
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Reminds me of New lines infinifilm. I was like??? How is this any different?
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and not somewhere else..that place is fucking dead...
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Mar 05, 2010 1:31:35 PM CST
...like it was so hard for me to insert the disc, hit MENU...
by flickapoo
...and press play.But no...now MENU is blocked, because we're saving you time...see?
Fucking Disney. -
My friend and I were working at a construction site for the summer after graduating from high school. We were waiting near a payphone and saw etched into the side of the payphone kiosk: "{someone's name) rides the bone"
I still get a chuckle from using it every now and then. In the context of the payphone, I think it was meant to be derogatory (I think the name was a boss' name) but I guess used elsewhere it might have a different meaning. -
ooooh a re-release of pinocchio..great...mental reminder to get that...but when you are watching a 10 year old disc of ichabod and mr. toad and its advert'n the friggin tigger movie or pocahatas 2--it gets old..i really dont mind the new ads cause basically disney is releasing a lot more stuff than they did back in the day..shit i remember when they were PROUD to have a ARTWORK as a special feature on their first discs--laughable
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eh. Ok. If you liked the first one more of the same. I'm not a big fan.
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how many titles did THAT have...i can think of three...one MIGHT have been justified..
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...ever visit FOUND Magazine? It's entirely dedicated to intriguing notes found on the street and stuff...
http://www.foundmagazine.com/ -
At first it was cool with the special features. But now for the most part I could give a fuck. Yet I keep fucking watching them? I don't know why I do! And commentaries? No thank you. Yeah maybe for some, but does Year One really need a commentary?
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but i didnt like the first one...theres nothing worse than a film that takes itself waaaaay too serious from a man with delusions of grandeur...and treats his family and friends like shit..seriously..i was waiting for OVERNIGHT to take a sharp left turn and state that "duffy mysteriously disappeared after one night of drinking..his whereabouts are unknown and his family and friends have YET to file a missing persons report"
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i used to care about getting the docs and commentaries and stuff..but now im like...but it does piss me off that BluRay is getting them and the dvd is movie only..what the fuck is that?!
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What do you expect.
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Austin Powers in Goldmember
Blow
The Butterfly Effect
Elf
15 Minutes
Final Destination 2
Friday After Next
John Q
The Last Mimzy
Little Nicky (as an Easter Egg)
The Mask (has an infinifilm like DVD-ROM feature)
A Nightmare On Elm Street
The Number 23
Rush Hour 2
Thirteen Days
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so were the founding fathers
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Mar 05, 2010 1:46:19 PM CST
...with features, you can usually get a sense pretty fast...
by flickapoo
...about whether the information is going to be informative or just a tedious lovefest.And I only watch features I think might be educational about the process, whether it be story, directing, costume, props...whatever...
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You don't think they fucked over their families? THEY KNOW WHATS BEST FOR US IN LIFE! They don't need to be nice about it.
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...stuff on his DVDs. SUNSHINE has an entire commentary with a physicist from Cambridge...talks about the real science in the movie, the deviations from real science in the service of story etc...good stuff.
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and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET warranted Infinifilm treatment. I looooove the THIRTEEN DAYS DVD.
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Are the ones where its just someone filming the movie AS its fimling. Like a fly on the wall deal. Also I hate it when they break like 10 5 minute docs into seperate things. Just fucking combined them all. I would prefer only two options (well 4 with sound and scenes). Movie/About movie. Thats it.
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is the stuff of DVD dreams.
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WHAT THE FUCK was Infinifilm? What the fuck did it do? I fucking own 15 minutes? Its just like a presentation when you turn on the DVD of how awesome Infinifilm is, then its the same shit, you just click on Infinifilm to get to the special features.
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Thanks for the website link. Never seen that site before. I think it's great, and have bookmarked it. I can't believe some of the stuff people find, and it's almost like you're spying on a little snippet of someone's life....someone you have never seen before.
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i love my wife...
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Fave DVD extra features:
12 MONKEYS - 'The Hamster Factor' documentary
LOTR EE - pretty much the whole caboodle
SPINAL TAP - deleted scenes, both for quantity and quality.
Anyone else think of any that stood out? -
Mar 05, 2010 1:55:57 PM CST
yeah the 13 days dvd was justified for special treatment
by six demon bag
with all the historical shit they put on there..my wife has BLOW (i cant stand that film) and i think it has historical shit on there too..
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AMERICAN WEREWOLF - Blu Ray has a v.good and comprehensive retrospective on it.
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has to be the doc on JAWS or STAR WARS..i can literally watch those any time.
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13 DAYS - You been Costnered.
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so i could watch that doc on it..got WTWTA too...
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It had some pop up history and such.
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i know it varys from the new one..
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...at this point...spectacular.
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if I'm not mistaken. The idea, at the time, seemed that it would be a glossier, masses-friendly take on Criterion. You know, for movies that were distinct because of the subject matter or the filmmaking style.
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...the innocent voyeurism...and your imagination automatically starts trying to puzzle it out...figuring out possible stories and scenarios...
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Criterion? I mean I just saw the Hunger Criterion, and besides maybe looking a little better the special features where not anything neat? I mean I got the three disc Brazil criterion, but yeah.
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that are paltry, especially when you consider the price. But they also put out a lot of movies the studios or the rich distributors won't put out, so they kinda got ya by the balls since they have such an exclusive and beautifully restored lineup of classics.
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Yeah, I was just thinking that. Take one of those off that website, and develop a whole story around it...kinda like what happens with you Pedalbackers. Did I say that right?
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its a rough day here I see.I woke up thinking about my favorite death scenes in movies. Strange, I know, to wake up thinking of death. So I came up with my two favorite:Tim Roth in Rob RoyandKurt Russell in PoseidonQuality of movie is irrelevant. Its all about the death.
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i dont think has anything in the way of features, except an exceptional commentary by paul.but ill be damned if i didnt drive 3 hours to buy a copy at tower records so i could have it...and i found THE KILLER for 16 bucks at a used records store..so yeah i bought that..
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...that all sounds good to me. I'm about one third of the way into a decent book right now, but have nothing lined up for after (I'm waiting for Game Of Thrones), so if you could have that finished up by the time I'm done, I'd appreciate it.
And while I think I've mostly worked out my own religious remnants, I'm addicted to watching or reading about other people working out their own religious shit. I still live in a world of cathedrals...it's just that nobody lives there anymore....which makes them impressive and sad at the same time.Lovecraft is an interesting case...I wish I liked his writing more than I do. I have a theory that artists like him sort of spew greatness...sometimes without ever producing one perfectly great thing.And I had never heard of Walker Percy's The Moviegoer...sounds interesting. -
you have to remember that they were a LD company that was putting out exceptional quality in terms of film and extras..i think they pioneered the commentary..if they seem lackluster these days cause of their lack of not putting fluffy extras on disc for sake of putting it on there..the other studios followed their lead and started making their own spec eds.i think that in terms of quality extras--criterion is the way to go..there is no chaff with them.
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or reading about other people working out their own religious shit," then you must read The Moviegoer. And Flannery O'Connor's Wise Blood, if you haven't already. You're so right about Lovecraft. He had the imagination, and he could do just enough sometimes to conjure up something truly terrifying, but he needed better editors.
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seriously--alex murphy getting swissed up aint pretty.and then you have EMIL..the man get toxic'd and then takes a walk in fron of clarence "bitches leave" boddicker.wrong choice fucko.
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...if you don't watch out you're going to have to say "us" Pedalbackers...or "we", depending on the case.I only know grammar by ear, I don't know any rules...you better ask the Colonel.
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Mar 05, 2010 2:39:32 PM CST
somebody FINALLY responded to by spoiler of UP IN THE AIR
by six demon bag
in the BOONBACK
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"No better way to steal money than free enterprise." That movie is as scathing a satire/critique of Reagan-era greed and ethics as anything. Because, really, what's crime but free enterprise?
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in the beginning, amid the growing tension of the scene in the warehouse.
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Because Alice never once fights the Jabberwocky.
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nonO stepped onto the paved sidewalk, his leather boots squeaking in the rain. It was midnight, black and cold as his heart. He became lost in a reverie of his time spent together with Goatse, his beloved friend. Oh, how he loved killing him in the end. It was his right to do so, he thought.
Suddenly, a hand cracked through the mirror sheen of the wet sidewalk in the neon glow of the theater's sign. It grabbed nonO's left boot and pulled him beneath the earth into blackness. There was nothing, no walls, no floor, no ceiling, only blackness and the entity. Its smooth, angelic voice whispered softly into nonO's ears.
"Where is your partner?"
"iT iS lawsT," nonO lied without blinking an eye.
"Do not lie to me," it said in a darkly stern tone.
"I herteD hiM."
"I know... What am I going to do with you?"
"nO hurT mE, I pleeD. onlI diD awnorabulL theenG. hE waS bessT paL. hE dezervD iT."
A giant claw made of light formed in the blackness, it reached out towards nonO. He screamed for an eternity. A single nail on a single finger of the claw had dug out nonO's reproductive organs. Angelic laughter and nonO's shrieks echoed across the black abyss.
A week later, nonO finally stopped his incessant yowling. The voice spoke again, "There. All better? I took, from you, your naughty parts as punishment. You may never have them back. Go back now. Play nice."
Immediately, nonO was standing in the exact spot where he had been pulled under a week ago. However, he knew no time had passed here and continued walking to his destination like nothing had happened. It had happened, though. He reached down to his crotch and felt nothing, but a bumpy scar where his penis and testicles had been. He giggled. -
...CHILD. Not perfect, but I thought it was very much worth reading. It takes the idea of a changeling and takes it completely seriously. A child is stolen and replaced by changelings...and the story follows the real boy living with the creatures, and the changeling boy trying to fit in with the new family. So you get to see the stolen boy living in the forest, watching his life happen without him, and you get the changeling trying to fit in with a family not his own. And you get the boy's parents dealing with the growing feeling that their kid is a stranger...especially at odds with his father.The setup is fantasy-ish, but the treatment is psychological and realistic...I love that sort of thing.
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not once person in the TB is ecstatic bout it.
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Good call.
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ot total recall for that matter..
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That goes on the list.
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...a Netflix four-star "really liked it" rating.I thought there was room for improvement, but I can't remember any specific negatives anymore.And while I remember it as imperfect, I would have been very happy to have written it myself...if you know what I mean.
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Story on AICN next week!
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Let's hope she's wearing nothing but a few well-placed loincloths. Story (not) on AICN next week!
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I wonder if I can still get that. Yeah what the fuck was their deal with that. They also gave Armagedon and The Rock Criterion editions? You think we'll get an Avatar criterion?
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http://tinyurl.com/yfrzxma
Photoshopped movie posters with misplaced titles. -
Is easily the best rated R movie since Robocop.
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i have armageddon and rock criterion...didnt pay for them but i got them..
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...the only good thing about G.I. Joe? They'll likely be the only good thing about the new CONAN too.I wasn't really familiar with her...I quite enjoyed the image search.
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Whose best scene was running on the treadmill.
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Posted 1 minute after he made a post in the Talkbacks. He has to see it eventually. I guess he's been in a Runaways screening today.
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Terrible Christian parody of Star Trek, anyone?
http://tinyurl.com/ylsfeyd -
Capone spoiled Daybreakers for me. these guys need to know their place.That is good news about Rachel Nicols giclee's. I am actually looking forward to Conan now. Not really.Give me more deaths people. I wanna make sure i'm not missing anything.
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http://tinyurl.com/yjr58na
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...Elias in PLATOON? (it's almost a joke now, but it would be hard to overstate how effective it was back when you first saw it) Sean Connery in UNTOUCHABLES?I'm bad at this...but I'll be thinking of stuff for the next seven days.
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You love life. I don't wanna bring you down with my macabre mentality. You should bring those writing skills to the Man Off the Can jam session too BTW.
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especially if I'm interested in it. I might peek at his last paragraph just to see if he liked it. And if he did, I always take that with a huge rock of salt.
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makes me say the obvious which is Sonny in the Godfather...duh.Elias is a good call. Never a joke;)
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...one of the most effective scenes in the trilogy I'd say. And I didn't even like Sean Bean for the role at first...but he won me over completely.
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That knife across the stomach. Killer image.
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He tries to be all glib at the end, but the difficult pedestal ruins his moment.
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In the Ass of Jesse James. MILK!
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Good ones Colonel.I like the dude with the liquor bottle in Pitch Black. That was good imagery.
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Mar 05, 2010 4:05:17 PM CST
Les Carlson's death by quasi-sentient cancer in VIDEODROME
by colonelfatheart
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In Edward Scissorhands. Bad guy in Disney's Tarzan.
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...suggesting that Harry received Polanski GHOST WRITER payola...and asking him what he did with it.Great death?
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See here: http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/44187#comment_3184773
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The Legend of the Guardians of Jeff Gillooly?
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...with a 2x4. I love those guys, can't have them charging in on a suicide mission. We need them to live to fight another day.
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...the author of those stories is one of my authors.It's really weird seeing that trailer...I've slept at her house.First time I've been in this position.
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...I haven't read the owl books yet, I feel a little bad about it...but while I love YA lit, they're geared a little young. Even for me.
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...into a trap. Once the hammer gets going it gets a taste for blood...
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Mar 05, 2010 5:05:31 PM CST
Only Armond White can start off with a good idea/position
by colonelfatheart
and conclude it with a bonkers non sequitir: "Genuine cultural impact means nothing to the pundits and gossip columnists running the Oscar crap game because they can’t control it. They are not in command of the ecstasy afforded by E.T., the insight granted by Saving Private Ryan or the gratitude audiences felt from Michael Jackson’s This Is It."
http://tinyurl.com/yhnlpgm -
"the best American actor critics ever trashed." What does that even mean?
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...shooting in the air scene in POINT BREAK is a bit of a stretch.It's a good character moment, but he's putting an awful lot on that Reagan mask...
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Compare...
http://tinyurl.com/yfrhal2
to
http://tinyurl.com/2mzo6a
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...didn't I?
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a political context, but not in the sense White suggests. There's this one shot, where Swayze's in the Reagan mask and he's spraying flames from a gas pump. I find that to be politically resonant. But the moment White points out is more of a character moment.
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Why bring it up at all if you're not going to explain it?
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...I'm sure she has very little to do with her website, she's not much of a techie...and her most visible books are published through Scholastic, the same publisher that handles Rowling in the U.S...it's possible they have a theme going or something...
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Have a great weekend. I'll try to check in before Monday. Hopefully I'll be around for the Oscars slag fest.
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Hiya guys...Anybody still home?
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Enjoy 'em while you have 'em, young man...They will never be exactly the same as they are right this very minute ever again...So, just keep that in mind...
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"Captain," Detective Thomas O'Mallorysteinowichsky turned as he answered.""Jesus, O'sky! Why don't you put something over that eye! It's...oozing.""The doctors said it would be best not to cover it.""Yeah, but the doctors don't have to fucking look at you. What's the situation?""SWAT has the thing cornered in the sixth theater.""Have all the civilians been evacuated.""Yessir. Luckily they were screening The Squek-quel in 6, so no one was in there.""Any news on our two missing persons?""No sir.""Is it communicating?""Uh, sorta. It keeps repeating the word 'refill.'""Refill? As in it wants more Coke?""We don't really know what it wants, sir.""So, we don't know if it has our two victims.""We can't be sure, Captain. No one can really get close enough.""What do you mean?""Well, anyone who tries, um, well, it vomits on them, sir. Projectile, half-digested popcorn, sir. Cocks up the guns something terrible.""Jesus Chrissy! Where's Schlukkter?"Detective Vern Schlukkter was having trouble focusing. Earlier, under the bright flourescent lights of the Medical Examiner's Office, he had to direct his eyeline to one, close, specific spot, which may have caused some offense with Dr. Wedding. Now, in the dim light of early evening, as he observed the hurried activity in the cinema's parking lot, everything seem blurred and each person was surrounded by a diffuse aura of light various shades of orange and red. He covered his injured eye - the one into which the creature's mucous had dropped earlier - and his vision became sharp as normal."ShoOOlickER. ShooLIcurrR. GImmEE yUR BAllzzzz," hissed a voice from behind.The detective turned around to see a figure. He recognized his own features in the face, except they were painted brightly, whore-like, in feminine rouges and blushes. He removed his hand from his injured eye, and the figure's face morphed into a demonic, indescribable grotesque."SheET. ThE eyEE of YaaahwAY," hissed the thing as it receded into the shadows and vanished."Detective Schlukkter!" cried one of the technicians near a trash receptacle on the side of the parking lot. "You should probably come take a look at this!"Vern blinked and stared into the void before him. There was no figure standing there. He marched to the pair of techs at the garbage bin. "What is it?" he asked."Dunno, actually. It looks like a snakeskin. A big snakeskin," answered one."With a knife stuck in its pussy," said the other, who was staring into the bin.Schlukkter covered his injured eye and looked into the bin. He saw a slimy, gray, thick strip of what appeared to be shed skin, ending in a vaginally-shaped mass with a knife stuck into its center."Shit. Step away from that. I want you two to get bio-hazard suits on before you dig that thing out of there. I want every bit of refuse in that bin taken to the lab.""Sure thing, sir. What's happening in there, sir.""Do as your told, now. Remember, every scrap piece in there," Detective Schlukkter barked as he turned and headed back toward the cinema entrance and his partner standing there."He's a handsome man, even with that dead eye," remarked the first tech."I tried to set him up with my sister once. I think he's queer," answered the second."Your sister? Why haven't you ever tried to set me up with your sister?""You're my partner. It'd be weird.""You don't trust me," the first sulked as he turned back toward the open bin and his partner turned to talk into his cell-phone."Yeah. This is Mackenzie. We need a couple of bio-hazard suits and a team at the southeast end of the parking lot.""Uh, Mack.""We got do a dig and pack. Possibly organic materials. It ain't pretty.""Uh, Mack.""Jesus, what?"The technician turned to see the giant vagina looming out of the bin over his partner. The skin which had appeared limp and empty a moment before, shimmered and rippled as if internal tendons were contracting and expanding. The thing expelled the knife from between its cunt-lips and loudly queefed.FFptt.
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FFptt...!!!I love this shit..."I tried to set him up with my sister once. I think he's queer," HHHHHAAAAA!!!!
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Aaargh! I LOVE 'em, Series! They were literally my film school. With all humility I think I understand as much about cinematic thinking as folks who shelled out for film school or comic artists who think that boards are the same thing. I did comics too, but although there's an obvious analogy, if you're doing your job right they're VERY different. I love anecdotal type commentaries, but the good ones for me are the nice juicy technical ones discussing different aspects. Having said all that I did spend a lotta money on those things - but I have a good library to show for it. These days I write off my DVD/Blu purchases as a much healthier habit than smoking. And being in the industry I can write 'em off on tax, too!
Yeah, Criterion Laserdiscs pioneered extras and additional audio tracks, and they were a BIG part of the whole OAR push, because they flat out refused to pan and scan. Classic ones were the Brazil and Seven boxes, and they led the way for Uni and Disney to do some big-arse boxes.
Yep, Film School in a box. -
he just killed Goatse, but I had plans for him, so I brought him (her, it?) right back. But, since nonO "killed" him, they're not likely to be buds anymore, either, and that's what I wanted him for.I wish Mac and Flick would jump back on and add some more.Everybody, for that matter.At first it seemed like we were all writing versions of a different story, but there seems to be a logic, bubbling up. besides, what's it matter. Throw shit at the wall and see what sticks.
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before he faked his own death by being the first person on television to die of AIDS and then he joined the United States Military and, long story short, here he was, Special Agent Bob Caldwell, leader of an NCIS unit assigned to investigate the strange happenings in wherever it was that they were driving to and their possible connection to a series of movie theatre killings on several Naval Bases in Virginia and North Carolina. His hand picked right hand agent, former Texas Ranger, Mike Nardozi, sat beside him in the front passenger seat of a high end bullet-proof government issued dark sedan. Nardozzi could never sit still for more than 3 minutes without having to try to start a conversation. Bob was ready for him when he noticed the twitch in Nardozzi’s hand and left foot. It was almost like some mechanism the man used to keep the words inside of his mouth. He had known Nardozzi long enough to recognize when those firewalls were about to fail….“So, in those cases, all MANY MILES apart and separated by MANY YEARS…Why are WE investigating a new SHIT themed series of murders…Or, are they still just classified as missing?”“You know everything that I know. Why don‘t you put that mouth of yours to work and call that tattooed chick back at the Lab… ” “Abby Rhodes?”“Of course, Abby…” and then Bob Whacked® Nardozzi on the back of his head with his open palm…and he did it all without taking his eyes off of the road…
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I fucking hate Harry right now. Doesn't matter if it was him that did the banning, its the way his site is being run. Its being run by amateurs and its being run into the ground. Fuck you, Harry Knowles, for not having any more integrity and for not giving a shit about your readers.
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So this year I learned that being in the industry we can write books and DVDs off as being... what, study guides or something? How does that work? Do you literally write off every DVD you buy and say its "for work" or "for study"? I need someone with experience to help me out, bc that's what I'm going to do this year. As much as I buy DVDs just for the behind the scenes features and whatnot, so I'd like to hear how its done.
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Mar 05, 2010 8:22:32 PM CST
I mean, if the owner of the site responds to your question...
by d.vader
Shouldn't that signal to the other mods to BACK OFF bc it means Harry, by acknowledging the fellow and responding to his ridiculous statement, doesn't think the guy should be banned? That's why I'm surprised DJDeathSTar got banned. No warning. Just a response from Harry. And suddenly he's gone (I guess from someone else). Who knows what the hell goes on around here. These mods all have different attitudes and moods and get pissy at different things. Its a really unfair way to run a website. *Especially* when you don't have clear rules written down so people know the limits of what they can say.
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Safer that way...
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As Dave chappelles white friend said....I'm sorry I didn't know I couldn't do that.
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The Squeakquel was over and the Man Off the Can had almost completely digested the girl and the clerk and the popcorn. He had found some spilled Goobers on the floor of the theater as well, so as he dragged himself across the floor he was leaving a trail mix of blood, shit, peanuts and corn.His shit filled ears could hear a commotion. A strange sound, he could only decipher as queefing/laughing/swearing but mostly queefing. He had to eat.Moving along the floor like this was getting him nowhere and as the remains of his last victims turned to putrid feces he had less mass to move with. Soon, without any solids he would just be a puddle of diarrhea. He dragged himself with his fingers finding just enough traction with his red chinstrap to help pull him along. He would have to change theaters. All the death had brought police and the 6 o’clock shows were about to begin. He needed a more discrete place to view and feast.He reached the rear fire exit of the theater. He tried to decide if he would have to hit the crash bar or if he could slide his, mostly excrement, form under the door. As he struggled he saw a figure enter the theater at the top of the aisle.Detective Thomas O'Mallorysteinowichsky walked down the aisle to where The Man Off the Can had watched The Squeakquel.”My God he is gorgeous.” the shit monster thought to himself. He felt a shit boner welling up in what used to be his crotch. He slid back toward O’sky keeping a careful turd eye on his prey.Alice In Wonderland was opening today but his spoiler filled review would have to wait. He was in love. O’sky surveyed the seat that the Man Off the Can had been sitting in. As he turned to walk back up the aisle he slipped on some shit cover Goobers, like oiled marbles, and he tumbled on to the floor.The turd monster felt warmth flood threw his “body” and he didn’t know if he had just came in his pants or shit himself. He made his move toward the detective.Unaware of the sick danger he was in Detective Thomas O'Mallorysteinowichsky got up, brushed some corn and feces off his pants and strode up the aisle. His eye hurt.
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“Oh, Nardooozie, You know I’m totally interested in those stories about the size of that super cock of yours that’s playing in heavy rotation on ‘Entertainment Tonight,’ But, I’m a practical gal…I don’t fuck where I work…”“Abs?”“Yeah, 'Big' guy…?” “You’re on Speakerphone®
…” “WHO!!!” the pigtailed super-genius squeeeeeeeld. “Calds???” “Right here,” Bob answered and smirked. “Nubby?”“Here,” he called from the back seat. Nubby, the computer Guru and prolific novelist in his spare time tactician of the group squirmed uncomfortably and tried to convince himself it was because the seats were uncomfortable. He was secretly in love with Abby. He thought of her every time he had an orgasm, which was several times a day, provided there were available private bathrooms. “I’m here, too …” Smiled Zebra, the Extremely attractive and sexy raven haired Isreali Mosaad counter-terrorist secret agent assigned to Bob’s unit…Bob laughed to himself…His inner monologue had just said she was “assigned to Bob’s unit…” He liked to think about her being ‘assigned’ to his unit -
C'mon, you guys aren't trying! Belloq and Toht in Raiders!
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make any changes to any arc. Like how subs scooped up Goatse from moose. we all have to adapt if we are gonna keep this going. I checked myself and didn't kill Subs character. I thought it was enough to put the shit monster on his trail and make him in love with the possibly queer character.
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I also liked you ideas for the shit story we got going. not sure i'll work it in but i still lkied your ideas.The MP in the pharmacy in The Mist, also a good death.
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hahahahahahha.Nice Cheeses
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Just gotta do some stuff, I'll check in in a bit with my answer (not a simple one). Laterz!
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See what I did there?
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There was just too much going on for The Man Off the Can to get the things he needed at this theater. Now that there was a team of NCIS agents involved he was a fugitive. He had to move.His hunger bubbled inside of him like Montezuma’s Revenge.He worked his way down the dark alley behind the theater. As he approached the street he saw an NCIS command vehicle parked near the corner. The irony was not lost on him as he slid his now almost entirely liquid form into the tailpipe of the vehicle.The smell of hot shit became more apparent as he worked his way up the catalytic converter and into the trucks air system. Fortunately for The Man Off the Can the nerd inside seemed to be preoccupied with pleasuring himself to a co worker. The look on the dorks face was that of mixed ecstasy and revolution as the malodorous liquid shot from the vents like a sawed-off ass-canon.He screamed, but would anyone hear him?
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Man becomes 'shell of a man' when his insides are hollowed out by some mystical septic tank cleaning ritual funded by his local Municipal water works department..Vile Demons and even Viler Devils are up to something bad. That's what they get PAID to do!!!The local police are compromised by eye drops and, help me here...how many people have died and how many theatres have been affected by the 'Man On/Off of the Can?' Fear not...Naval Intelligene is on its way...They made a ship disappear in the 40's.Divers found it again in '92...But, they still consider the operation a success...
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Mar 05, 2010 9:38:14 PM CST
"His hunger bubbled inside of him like Montezuma’s Revenge."
by cheeses_of_nazareth
HHHHHAAAAA!!!!
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moose killed some guy and then a demon that Subs ressurected. I splattered Nubby but if you wanna hose him off quick you might be able to save him. I am gonna try to leave openings so people can work it how they want.
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Mar 05, 2010 9:56:36 PM CST
NCIS vaccinates ALL of its inductee operatives...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
against AIDS, Swine Flu, 12 hour Cialas Erections and Magic...
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O'sky is the portly bald one with the oozing eye. Schlukkter's the pretty one. Doesn't matter, though. I like that Man off the Can crushes on the possibly-straight one.
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its a happy accident. just like this whole story.
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"What the Fuck, Nubby," Nardozzi shouted. "NOBODY ELSE SMELLS THAT???" Nubby screamed at the top of his voice. "Pull Over...Pull Over...NOW!!!!" Nubby screamed again. Bob pulled to the side of the road, which, fortunately, was a wide swath of asphalt highway built for future passing lanes..."Roll...*uck...roll down...THE WINDOW!!!"
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The jam will do the fucking.
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he's ready for another refill, and what would be better than a fat man to fill him up.
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(two screens at the same cinema), what's with this magic fucking NCIS jeep. One minute it's tooling down the highway. The next minute it's parked in the alley behind the theater. A minute after that it's tooling down the highway again.HA!
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Mar 05, 2010 10:28:03 PM CST
I'm glad Cheeses has brought in some female characters.
by subtitles_off
We needed some.The cast is growing.
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Nubby asked, all serious like..."Nubby," Nardozzi answered. "All I smell is your lack of Arrid XX-Dry deoderant..."Suddenly, Nubby spasmed and went limp. The Israeli Secret Agent Chick, Zebra instinctivly straddled his lifeless body and took CPR into a decidedly avant guard, soft porn direction...
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and sometimes the jam fucks you
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Can't wait to catch up in the morning.
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its not how I created the mess but how you solve it in the best way ever.
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Only plot devices...Real life is just a series of conflicts and resolutions of personal messes/plot devices...
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Throw me a hard ball and I'll figure a way to hit at least a double...
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...but I'll have to think of something better now.
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Real life is just a series of conflicts and resolutions of personal messes/plot devices...
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i've been fucking up his and Subs story all night;)
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HHHHAAAAAAA!!!
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Goatse is a man with a man's gaping anus for a mouth.
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You made Goatse WAY too sexy to stay dead...
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posts after this point are NO LONGER admissable as evidence in court proceedings...
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the toe stepping from one plot to another. Just barge into Subs story and kill him again moose. It will be great and then there will be this awesome "Goatse is dead." "No he isn't." "Yes he is." kind of childish greatness. Its not like this is Shakespeare.
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http://tinyurl.com/gtsensfw
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Thanks again..."UUUUURRRRPPPP!!!!....'
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...the resurrection/transformation into a giant vagina?
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Subs has to explain why he thought that was Goatse...Perhaps we have an imposter...a demonic clone...a changeling...an Ex with his Facebook access codes...
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If that makes any sense...
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Is that spelled right? Arthur. Arthor. Definition: imaginer and writer of a said concept.
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Tropic Thunder 3/5
Pretty funny movie. I give props to Cruise and RDJ for their hilarious and outrageous characters, but everyone did a good job. Might have received a 4 but the young kid heroin boss was a crappy actor.
Saturday night is "Children of Men" -
nonO turned the corner and saw his man, a detective. He approached from behind, silent and slow. His thin, bony body gave no sound, even his leather boots were completely quiet. He willed it, so it was. He removed a syringe from his side pocket, held it up behind the detective's head, four inch needle shining like a blood soaked knife in the neon light, and plunged the length of it into the back of his head, giving him the full dosage of nonO's otherworldly concoction.
"yoU R noU mY puppY, shoolickeR. uR mynD iS iN tA relM I criatD 4 U. haV fuN, herO tipE. heH heH."
Detective Schlukkter's eyes glazed over immediately. His mind was certainly active, but figuratively transported into the "realm" of the drug's design. He would not remember the injection, and it would be up to him to find a way out of the drug's influence. A bit of sin, a bit of magic, a whole lot of fun, thought nonO.
nonO removed the syringe from the detective's head and placed it inside the magic bag in his pocket for safe keeping. He took the dick by the hand and walked him into an alley behind the theater. He had been smelling something wonderful, but he couldn't place a finger on it. Suddenly, he had it. A whiff of the lovely cologne the detective had liberally plastered to his body piqued nonO's interest. He should continue his task, he thought, but he wanted something first.
"luvlY, luvlI, syrE. uR mannlY 4 sirtaN, I admyrE," sang nonO, softly, as he got on his knees and unbuckled the detective's belt.
The detective's schlong sprang free from its cramped compartment, after nonO pulled his pants and undies off. nonO sniffed the member, fondling it. He lightly stroked it, giggling and whispering, "I wawnT uR bawlZ, dicK."
He lifted a sharp fingernail and cut gently along the top of the shaft, then down, circling around the scrotum, back up again to the shaft, now laughing like a mad man. With a sickening, gooey, wet snapping sound, the detective's cock was removed from his body. Mine, thought nonO, all mine. nonO opened his magic bag and removed his favorite sewing kit.
"aH threD foR evrI porpisS, mI luV."
He would have his naughty bits back, even if they didn't belong to him.
nonO laughed as he thought about how funny it would be for the detective's friends to see Schlukkter standing in the alley, pants and underwear around his ankles, with a bloody mess of a gouge resembling a vagina where his penis should be, catatonic as all hell. Funny, indeed, and delightful, he thought as he sewed himself a new penis with a devilish thread.
In no time at all, he was finished, and set off to complete his task, cock erect. -
1. Go to YouTube
2. Enable the recent autocaption feature (bottom right of video; which converts audible speech into captions, it would take too long to explain the technology- algorithms and all that- so just trust me)
3. Since the tech isn't anywhere near perfect, you get hilarious captions that are very often nonsensical (depending on how clearly the person is speaking).
4. Enjoy the nonsense. -
Not every video has it yet. That is planned, but authors have to enable it on their videos as of now. Remember: bottom right, the thing should pop up, mouse over the arrow next to the "CC" and click Transcribe Audio.
Here's a random video that has it: http://tinyurl.com/yhdjdjb
Here's a video that parodies the autocaptioning (which is pretty close to what it actually does): http://tinyurl.com/yhwlzme -
The fear demon nonO slipped into the crack between the visible world and nothingness, he could be seen and heard by no one as he walked through the theater doors. His new manhood had given him the confidence he needed to complete his task. Perhaps the angelic voice was testing him, he thought. Perhaps losing his sex and claiming another would instill in him a newfound testosterone fueled courage.
He reached the theater room that was filled with problems. Too many problems, he thought, as he swung his axe upon problem after problem, beheading and dismembering each in turn. He sighed. Too easy. If only Goatse hadn't been killed, he'd at least have some company. A strange water formed in nonO's eye sockets and dripped down the ever changing valleys of his face. What was this, he wondered, some kind of man trouble? Perhaps his new man penis came with a price. He knew he was feeling human things, and was shocked not at the human emotion, but that he was not revolted by it.
The shock brought nonO ought of the crack and into reality, but only for a moment. He mustered up the courage and slipped back. He was not seen, good, he sighed again. Wiping the man tears from his eyes, he continued to mutilate the policemen- no, problems in the room. He focused on his ultimate goal, which was sitting right in front of him. A disgusting, blobby sack of skin was looking around, panicking at all the dead problems on the ground. nonO slipped back into the visible world. The monster shrieked at nonO's face.
"Don't- aheM, a-ahem, donT bE alawrmeD. U knO iN uR cekreT harT thhaT owR masteR ordaynD thiS. tymE 4 uS tO fulfiL uR potenshaL. opeN widE!"
With that, nonO tore off his clothes and dropped all of his belongings into a strange hole in the ground that swallowed it and closed shut. He approached the creature swiftly and shoved his entire body inside it. He writhed and winced at the pain, his throbbing cock jutting against the insides of the sack man, it was a turn on and a terrible torture. He would vomit, if he could. Suddenly, a voice burst out of him that he had never heard before, not even since his creation.
"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! Goatse, everyone, I'm sorry," it sobbed and was no more.
It is done. The portal is opened. -
Me likey.
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Was it something I said????
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Just picked up Dracula frankenstein and bride of...
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...is an interview with some porn actress in a James Lipton schtick style. Go figure. I thought the whole thing was fake, but apparently she's real? In any case, the autocaptioning is particularly terrible on that video.
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Must've gotten the Google germs, or something, that Yackers was complaining about yesterday. I've spent all morning removing and re-installing software from my computer.I've got to catch up.There will be a Subbary®. It'll just be late.BAMF! to 44180. We need the space for our First Annual Pedalback Oscar Slag.'moose, PLEASE! Don't ever link that image again. You know the one I'm talking about. It's one thing if you want to write about it - we'll be responsible for the images our minds concoct. But looking at the real thing is disgusting, dehumanizing and degrading. (NSFW/NMS)is nowhere near sufficient enough warning. Thanks.Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the difference between an anus and a vah-jay-jay. The switch was intentional. My fault I didn't make it clear enough that the characters in the story were assuming the thing had the head of a vagina, confused. I was attempting to set up a joke. Of course, such a thing can't be managed with multiple authors unless everyone is in on the gag. (And, since the story has changed directions anyway, I might as well spill: I was going to have Vern - the possibly-gay detective - absorbed by the Man Off The Can Mutant Sausage Casing and mentored by the British mystic for a climatic confrontation with nonO, leaving his partner Thomas - the portly, bald detective with the oozing eye - to hook up with Goatse. At some point I was gonna have Thomas, um, engaged with Goatse's face and have Vern explain what type of orifice he was, um, engaged with/in. ((Vern: "Believe me, Tommy. I've seen lots of men sticking it in the wrong end in my day." Get it? Only the punchline to the whole "Vern may be homosexual" subtext I had going.)) No matter. Much better that the story retains its organic, free-flowing, everybody-into-the-pool quality. Like I said, throw whatever at the wall and see what sticks. (We have a bit of an issue, still, though, with following each other. As of last night, The Man Off The Can is simultaneously three places at once.)Since we're BAMFing, I suggest moving our jam experiment to the Googleville Shelter. I'm going to post all the related pieces in a non-archived thread. Hopefully, everybody will continue to post their bits there. We can even post "author's notes," if we wish, as hints to each other or corrections, without disrupting or alienating any of the regular Peebers. Once the thing takes some sort of shape, and we've all had a chance to make suggestions - contributions - edits, I'll archive it. Cool?Cheeses! How come no more Pedaltrek?!!? Don't let that slip into thin air.
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...this was something new. He had always felt an overwhelming need to BE somebody. Before the explosion that need had been metaphorical...after the explosion the need became...literal.He had been countless Somebodies since the watershit explosion...some more satisfying than others. Over time he learned to pick his victims to satisfy his appetites...and his needs. A weak victim was easy prey, instant gratification for his cravings, but empty calories. His first successes had been the elderly and infirm. Little old ladies were easy pickings, but their brittle substance barely allowed him to totter around. They died quickly, and in more than a few cases, instantly...leaving him in a frantic search for new shelter while his body softened and deflated.Once he made the mistake of consuming two Boys Scouts. Single children never worked...just a half-pint solution to a five hundred gallon problem. And they fought a long time, like a weasel in a sack. The two Boy Scouts didn't work out any better. They filled him up, but pulled in opposite directions...he lurched and staggered, barely finding a dark quiet place to wait them out. Apparently they took their little motto about preparedness seriously, because on the third day one of them managed to start a little fire infuckingside him. Matches? A lighter? Flint and tinder? Two goddam rubbing sticks? All he knew for sure is that those were easily the longest seven days of his flaccid existence.
The strong and athletic were risky targets, but gave them days of strength and agility if he managed to suck them in.
Once, his ever growing need to be Somebody drove him to land (or land ON...hehehe...) a plump U.S. Senator. It was a risky hunt, and he quivered with slippery happiness at his success...but it gained him nothing. The Senator barely put of a fight, and began to soften immediately...he was already rotten inside. Lacking the substance to even stand erect, but hobbled by the full congealed weight of the putrid Senator, The Man Off The Can spent the better part of two days completely helpless. Fortunately he had landed his prey in a stall of a men's airport restroom. The angry banging on the stall door was terrifying, and once someone propositioned him from under the divider...but he managed to excrete the Senator and make his escape.
So many disappointments, so many thrills amounting to...nothing. He had been desperate to be Somebody, but now he was...Some...THING...
He hadn't thought through all the ramifications of his new situation yet, he probably never would. His mind was quick, but clumsy...strong, but less coherent than Roman Polanski talkback.All he knew for now was that his latest victim would never die...couldn't die. Would never soften and leak, slowly leaving him limp and helpless once more.A fleeting and sharp fingernail of doubt tugged at what remained of his brain stem...had he become SomeThing?...or had SomeThing become...him? He quickly suppressed the doubt. He was good at that. Now he could consume only for pleasure, never for need. The explosion had turned his life into a living watershit nightmare......but one man's watershit is another man's chocolate covered pussy juice... -
Sure enough, nonO had died, but his consciousness melded with that of the Man on the Can. It wasn't him. It was something new. The sorrow that nonO had experienced died with him, no one to hear it, it would not be given to the sack creature. Instead, nonO's old lust for terrible, sinful pleasure was inherited.
Something stirred beneath the world. It sang a requiem for the fallen demon. Ten days, it sang. It cradled the demon's possessions in clawed hands. Laughter then followed and a determined, Satanic, angelic voice said, "It is done. The portal is opened."
The world would not know of the evil was coming for them. They could not. Nothing will ever be the same, knew the entity. -
Additional episodes of horror jam at Googleville Shelter.
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March 5, 2010 ...Hand-me-down TVs ...Double-Dog® and Magic Hat® beers ...D.Vades spins the wheel on Chat Roulette. ...Every llama's got a mama, but your mama's got no llama. Does your mama wanna llama? best I can do is put a camel on back-order. ...Sixies greets the day singing a line from Prince's "Pussy Control." ...Sexy rocker chicks ...Flick sniffs his sink sponge. Ew. ...Sixies watched dubbed PONYO. Ew. ...Stabby's new favorite brew is Flying Dog® Imperial Porter. ...Peebers universally deplore Disney's FastPlay®. ...Continuing contributions to the scatological jam: demoncide, really-radical vasectomies, and a convergence of characters at the theater ...Flick and white_vades, shop-talkin' ...D.Vades is pissed about Harry spoiling the ending of ALICE in his review. Series doesn't give a shit, so he goes ahead and spoils it for The Pedalback. ...Sixies pulls a flick. ...'moose thinks I've got Goatse's orifices confused in the scat-jam. ...Foundmagazine.com, looking through other people's trash and stuff ...Infinifilm®? First time I've ever heard of it. What's so great about Criterion®? Only the greatest collection of classic and restored film treasures, that's all. ...Fave DVD special features can be found on BLADE RUNNER: Final Cut Edition, 12 MONKEYS, SPINAL TAP, AMERICAN WEREWOLF, JAWS: Special Edition. ...Fave death scenes include Tim Roth in ROB ROY, Kurt Russell in POSEIDON, Sonny in THE GODFATHER (all Mac's), deaths in ROBOCOP (Sixies'), Elias in PLATOON, Sean Connery in THE UNTOUCHABLES, Rutger Hauer in BLADE RUNNER, "Boromir" in LOTR (all Flick's), Buscemi in FARGO, "Don Ciccio" in GODFATHER II, Fiennes in SCHINDLER'S LIST, Les Carlson in VIDEODROME (all Col.'s), the villain's death in Disney's TARZAN (Series'), and "Belloq" and "Toht" in RAIDERS (white_vades'). ...Movie Poster Mix-Up! (http://tinyurl.com/yfrzxma) ...Rachel Nichols' giclees will be in the new CONAN (http://tinyurl.com/ybwsgbw) ...Evangelical Star Trek (http://tinyurl.com/ylsfeyd) ...Armand White, New York Press film writer, is an idiot. (http://tinyurl.com/yhnlpgm) ...white_vades recognizes Criterion box sets as "Film School in a box." ...More scat-jam: Goatse gets resurrected, NCIS arrives - doesn't arrive yet. ...Confucheeses say, "Real life is just a series of conflicts and resolutions of personal messes/plot devices..." ...TROPIC THUNDER, another 3-star film for STLost ...We've moved to Node #44180. And, the continuing scat-jam adventures of Man Off The Can and nonO can be found at The Shelter (http://tinyurl.com/yz3kena).
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