JUSTICE LEAGUE: 2 EARTHS!! DARIA!! EVERWOOD!! GOLD MONKEY!! SURVIVORS!! FLASHFORWARD!!...

I am – Hercules!!

After “Justice League: The New Frontier,” “Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths” (1:15:21) is my favorite of the PG-13 direct-to-DVD DC Comics movies so far. Directed by Sam Liu (“Superman/Batman: Public Enemies,” “Planet Hulk”) and Lauren Montgomery (“Green Lantern: First Flight”) from a screenplay by Dwayne McDuffie (“Justice League,” “Ben 10: Alien Force”), its packed silly with surprises, great fight sequences and alternate-reality versions of dozens of DC characters, everybody from Uncle Marvel to Swamp Thing. It’s also got Hal Jordan as Green Lantern and maybe Barry Allen as Flash. J’onn J’onzz, less naked than usual in his new 21st century costume, is even more more alien. Superwoman is supersexy and now looks a lot like the Silk Spectre to me when she’s standing next to Owl Man. I love that Slade Wilson’s left eye is missing. I love that we get to see the league’s first battle against Starro in Jonzz’s flashback. I love this league’s first encounter with Lex Luthor. What really sells the movie to me is Owlman, who turns out to be a much cooler and crazier character than his name and funnybook history promised. It’s a great role, and James Woods is wonderful in it. The cast: Superman: Mark Harmon Batman: William Baldwin Wonder Woman: Vanessa Marshall Flash: Josh Keaton Green Lantern: Nolan North Martian Manhunter: Jonathan Adams Firestorm: Cedric Yarbrough Lex Luthor: Chris Noth Jimmy Olsen: Richard Green Owlman: James Woods Superwoman: Gina Torres Ultraman: Brian Bloom Power Ring: Nolan North Johnny Quick: James Patrick Stuart President Slade Wilson: Bruce Davison Rose Wilson: Freddi Rogers Breakdance: Carlos Alazraqui Model Citizen: Kari Wuhrer Uncle Super: Bruce Timm Captain Super: Jim Meskimen EXTRAS ON THE BLU-RAY VERSION DOCUMENTARY: “DCU: The New World” (33:14) Lots of people who make their livings off DC Comics characters – including Paul Levitz, Rags Morales, Geoff Johns, Mike Carlin, Brad Meltzer, Dan DiDio and Michael Uslan – talk about the creation of the DC Universe’s Indentity Crisis, Infinite Crisis and Final Crisis storylines. CARTOONS: * “The Spectre” (11:51) An all-new story, set in 1970s Hollywood, that pays homage to the ghostly and vengeful 1940s superhero and, I’d guess, the Tarantino/Rodriguez collaboration “Grindhouse.” Directed by Joaquim Dos Santos (“Justice League,” “Avatar: The Last Airbender”) from a screenplay by Steve Niles (“30 Days of Night”), it stars Gary Cole as police detective Jim Corrigan, Alyssa Milano as aspiring starlet Aimee Brenner, and Jon Polito as Corrigan’s boss. * Four 2003 standard-def episodes of “Justice League”: > “A Better World” (2.11 & 2.12): Alternate-universe versions of Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern use deadly force to keep troublemakers in line. > “Twilight” (2.1 & 2.2): Apokolips’ war with Brainiac causes the league to ally itself with Darkseid. LIVE ACTION PILOTS: * An HD (!) remastering of “Wonder Woman” (1:13:52). Not the failed 1974-set 1974 pilot starring Cathy Lee Crosby as Diana Prince and Kaz Garas as Steve Trevor, but the successful 1940s-set Lynda Carter pilot co-starring Cloris Leachman as Queen Hippolyta and Kenneth Mars and Henry Gibson as non-Illinois Nazis. It’s cropped to 16:9 to fit HD screens. * “Aquaman” (41:23). The 2006 CW pilot, developed under the title “Mercy Reef” and shot under the title “Tempest Key,” starring future “Friday Night Lights” player Adrianne Palicki and Justin Hartley, who would go on to play Green Arrow on “Smallville.” This one’s cropped 4:3 and doesn’t look like 1080p to me. INFOMERCIALS: * “A First Look At Batman: Under The Red Hood” (13:46). DC’s next PG-13 direct-to-DVD movie is previewed. It’s written by Judd Winick, who wears earrings and kicked Puck out the “Real World” house about a decade and a half ago. It stars Jensen Ackles as Red Hood, Bruce Greenwood as Batman, John MiMaggio as The Joker, Neil Patrick Harris as Nightwing, and Jason Isaacs as Ra’s Al Ghul. It hits shelves this summer, probably around San Diego Comic Con. * “A First Look At Green Lantern: First Flight” (10:12). Not our first look at all, as this has been out since last summer. * “A First Look At Superman/Batman: Public Enemies” (7:49). Out since last autumn. * “Wonder Woman: The Amazon Princess” (10:26). Out since last spring.

“Two Earths” comes in at least three versions: DVD, two-disc DVD and Blu-ray.

FlashForward Vol. 1 collects the first 10 episodes of the sci-fi drama. The best part of the “FlashForward” pilot is easily its first 18 minutes, which you can watch right here right now:

It’s a lot like the beginning of “Lost,” is it not? Guy wakes up confused and gradually discovers and deals with the cinematic mayhem that has risen up around him. There’s even a difficult-to-explain kangaroo subbing for the “Lost” pilot’s polar bear. So that first part with the wreckage and the corpses? Well-copied. But the “FlashForward” pilot was adapted not by super-successful writer-director J.J. Abrams, but by the team of Brannon Braga (creator of “Star Trek: Enterprise”) and David Goyer (writer-director of “Blade Trinity”), which previously created CBS’ “Threshold.” Which was not remotely as good or as successful as “Lost.” Once the mayhem is dealt with viewers may start to notice two other major things that distinguish “FastForward” from “Lost”: 1) Everybody on screen is catching on to what’s going on a lot more slowly than the audience is. Which gets boring. And annoying. 2) None of the show’s many characters (or their flashforwards) is terribly interesting or engaging. At the end of the “Lost” pilot you were dying to know not only what was going on with Smokezilla and that bizarre French radio signal but also what the deal was with handcuffed Kate and evasive Charlie and the vaguely sinister Locke. Even less mysterious characters like Shannon and Hurley were so entertaining in their own ways that viewers were excited at the prospect of spending more time with them as well. Less problematic for “FlashForward” is the fact that the “Threshold” series creators apparently took a couple liberties with the the sci-fi novel by Robert J. Sawyer, in which, thanks to a super-high-energy experiment gone wrong, everyone in the world passes out and experiences two minutes and 17 seconds of his or her own life 21 years in the future. The TV version of the premise, maybe slightly less brimming with potential, puts the flashforwards only several months ahead, and nobody knows what caused them. In the final minute of the pilot we are given a clue of sorts, and it makes for a great ending. If you’re impatient and don’t mind spoilers you can find how here. The date everyone flashes forward to, April 29, 2010, is a Thursday, and a key new episode of “FlashForward” was once slated to air on that date. That episode will likely NOT be the season finale, according to Goyer. In the flashforward experienced by the Joe Fiennes FBI character, the Fiennes character is seen investigating the cause of the flashforward. But even though everyone learns the exact future date and time of the two-plus minutes their memories will capture, no one in the flashforwards makes an effort to surround themselves with useful ballscore tables and/or stock market charts. So apparently the flashforward event paradoxically changes the timing of -- or eliminates -- the big communal flashforward. Or something. “Lost” vet Dominic Monaghan is not in the pilot but does turn up, I believe, as a superscientist later in the series. If you watched the clip above you may have recognized the doctor is embodied by Sonya Walger, who plays Penny Widmore on “Lost.” Insufferable “Family Guy” mastermind Seth MacFarlane, who cameos in the pilot as an FBI man, is a horrible distraction. He uses for his “FlashForward” role the same obnoxious deejay voice he uses to play the dog in “Family Guy.” I abandoned “FlashForward” after a few episodes confirmed what the pilot strongly suggested: that its writers had little idea how to craft compelling storylines or believable characters. Perhaps ABC felt the same way, as showrunner Marc Guggenheim departed the series months ago and Goyer was replaced as showrunner earlier this month. And perhaps audiences felt the same way since the “FlashForward” premiere scored a 4.0 rating in 18-49 while its last new episode before hiatus hit a 2.1: 2.1 (2.4) (2.6) (2.6) (2.7) (3.1) (3.1) (3.0) (3.7) (4.0) Time Magazine says of the “Flashforward” pilot:

… I wish more attention had been paid to fleshing out the characters and generally bringing a fresher voice to the dialogue. (Someday, I want someone to bring a cool high-concept like this to a producer like Jason Katims, who can play it out realistically through rounded characters, as he did on Roswell.) … Do I Want to Watch Another Episode? Absolutely. But please work on making these folks as appealing conscious as they are unconscious.

USA Today says:

From its unsettling opening image to its startling final shot, FlashForward could be the best network movie you'll see this year. Now let's hope it's an equally good series. … may not keep you hooked for years or even months, but chances are good tonight's episode will bring you back next week.

The New York Times says:

… begins in such a spirit of bracing suspense that I am challenged to recall another pilot that lured me so quickly into addiction. … has the sobriety and charge of the best, early days of “24” but builds its tension more gracefully and feels reluctant to be get subsumed by its own philosophizing. And like “Battlestar Galactica,” its has a presumed message that is humanistic and uplifting: No single messiah can save us; it takes a village to save the world.

The Los Angeles Times says:

… a decent but not brilliant beginning. … Given the subject, it's almost appropriate how unusually difficult it is to get a fix on the show. The pilot is melodramatically eventful, though the dialogue can sound phony. But the show could go either way -- be kind of great or pretty awful, depending on what comes next, how the writers plan to explain this thing and whether we are going to have any fun on the way to the explanation. … we have seen a lot of doctors and FBI agents on TV -- four of the main characters work for the bureau -- and spent a lot of time on the streets of Los Angeles. We may need more than parlor tricks to take us out of that all-too-familiar world. My crystal ball remains cloudy on this matter.

The Chicago Tribune says:

… Elements that generally work in the two-hour pilot's favor -- a big budget, a flashy central concept and a handsome ensemble cast -- also work against it because those are the hallmarks of several ABC pilots that have crashed and burned in their debut seasons. … What "FlashFoward" lacks, at this point, is a Sawyer or a Hurley; don't look to this serious pilot for wisecracks or regular-Joe wisdom. …

The Washington Post says:

… Immediately apparent from the premiere of "FlashForward": The questions may prove more satisfying than the answers, a bad sign. … "FlashForward," with lots of flash-cut editing (oddly offset with long, slow dialogue scenes) and some eye-pleasing special effects, seems a show very much of today and today's version of tomorrow and maybe even tomorrow's version of today. But if it were a little less ditzy and a little more clear-cut, it might stand a better chance of seeing tomorrow itself.

The San Francisco Chronicle says:

… enormously entertaining and there's mystery galore here, with an expansive cast, an unexplained phenomenon and the tantalizing premise … Here's hoping it stays strong and compelling as it heads to April 29.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:

… suspenseful, disaster-filled entertainment. But will what comes next be as entertaining? If only we could flash forward to find out. …

The Newark Star Ledger says:

Ambitious but not terribly engaging … An interesting idea, but placed in the middle of a bland cast of characters (including Joseph Fiennes as an FBI agent and Sonya Walger as his doctor-wife) and execution that lacks much urgency. …

The Boston Herald says:

… Every season there seems to be one water-cooler show everyone ends up talking about. “FlashForward” is it: Get in on the first episode. …

The Boston Globe says:

… Tonight’s episode is dramatic and well-paced, unfolding ominously and quickly explaining the issues at hand. The problem, of course, is the future. What “Lost’’ had on its side was a desert-island setting, plus a sprawling and quirky ensemble cast with a range of back stories to spin. … “FlashForward’’ is a good idea, and while that’s no guarantee of a good series, the first hour gives us reason to hope.

“Mr. Beaks” says:

… Goyer and Brannon have every reason to be upbeat about the commercial prospects for FLASHFORWARD. … Goyer's direction is so assured that you quickly get past the similarities with Abrams's show (even after an unnecessary nod to Oceanic Airlines), and find yourself enveloped in the busy goings-on in FLASHFORWARD's world. … Goyer and Braga pull it off without breaking a sweat - and without stranding us with a collection of banal, chess-piece characters. … Goyer and Braga are smart fellas, and they're at least saying the right things about respecting the intelligence of the audience. …

Variety says:

… Strictly grading the pilot, it's an intriguing, mind-bending concept that's mostly well executed, with a built-in payoff cleverly timed to coincide with the May rating sweeps. The bottom line is after one hour, there's a solid desire to see more, but not such wonderment as to proclaim unwavering fealty until the show peers a little farther down the road. …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

… The investigation of this consciousness-shattering global phenomenon is assumed by the Los Angeles bureau of the FBI, which is a little like giving Mr. Kotter's science class responsibility for checking out global warming. (In Sawyer's book, particle physicists tackled the issue, but when was the last time you saw one of those on TV?) … Well-cast and full of expensive-looking special effects, "FlashForward" should hook a respectable number of viewers with its combination of surprise and suspense. …

While I certainly don’t recommend first volume of “FlashForward,” I will point out that the set comes with a handsome $15-off coupon toward the purchase of the complete first season set that will make its appearance sometime later this year.

A Showtime sitcom from writer-producers Evan Dunsky (“CSI”), Liz Brixius and Linda Wallem (“That ‘70s Show,” “Help Me Help You”), “Nurse Jackie” follows a promiscuous, substance-abusing New York health-care provider and mom (Edie Falco) willing to bend the rules to help those in need. She says things like “Quiet and mean; those are my people,” but likes to hide her big heart. Observations: * The first six episodes didn’t make me laugh once, but I can say that about 99 percent of the first six episodes of every sitcom ever made. * I enjoyed these six episodes more than almost all of the Stamos-era episodes of “ER.” * So far “Nurse Jackie” isn’t nearly as good as Falco’s two prior pay-cable series, “Oz” and “The Sopranos.” * I can’t say I enjoyed “Nurse Jackie” as much as I did the pilot for USA’s new New York medical show, “Royal Pains.” (Though I do like the title “Nurse Jackie” a lot more than “Royal Pains.”) * “Nurse Jackie” is not as realistic or anywhere near as funny as “St. Elsewhere.” When I think back to the laughs I derived from Drs. Craig and Ehrlich, “Jackie” almost feels like punishment; cutesy, well-worn, preachy and predictable by comparison. * The bald guy Jackie is having an affair with is played by Paul Schulze, who earlier played the priest Carmella lusted after in “The Sopranos.” * The series features as regular characters no fewer than two gay male nurses. * The sixth episode centers on Judith Ivey as a dying old nurse whose profoundly salty language may elicit big laughs from those who haven’t seen the same sort of thing executed far more expertly in more than a dozen R-rated big-screen comedies. * The series co-stars adorable Merritt Wever, who played Danny Tripp’s assistant Suzanne on “Studio 60,” as a student nurse, and she is a welcome presence even if she’s saddled with a character who is too often an absurd sitcom caricature. * “Nurse Jackie” isn’t nearly as good or funny as the first three seasons of “M*A*S*H,” which it resembles slightly, and Larry Gelbart didn’t enjoy the benefit of allowing Hawkeye to say “cunt” and “fuck” all the time. * If you care to sample an enterprise that makes frequent use of the word “cunt” and does makes me laugh, I direct you to my new favorite talk show, Adam Carolla’s cost-free, commercial-free and hilarious and addictive daily podcast. The New York Times says of “Nurse Jackie”:

… It has one of the most talented actresses on television as its lead, and yet over all “Nurse Jackie” is surprisingly, and disconcertingly, off key. This is a drama draped in black humor that doesn’t know when to be funny. The wonderful Anna Deavere Smith as Gloria Akalitus, an interfering hospital administrator, has the worst of it: her character is a pompous dunce in the manner of Frank Burns on “M*A*S*H.” She is too clownish, and the joke of her nitpicking personality is oversold. Peter Facinelli plays Fitch Cooper, a callow doctor with a Tom Cruise breeziness and a rare nervous disorder, and he too is at times forced over the edge of caricature. … Too many early scenes that are supposed to be taut and acidly funny are instead blowsy and overblown; humor is a delicate instrument, and here it is pasted on too roughly, like a campaign poster hurriedly slapped onto a street sign. … not as seditious as it seeks to be, but when it stops trying too hard, it’s an enjoyable drama, and that’s not so bad.

The Los Angeles Times says:

… if the setup is a bit predictable, the characters the actors conjure are not. Smith brings a pearl-wearing canniness to her uptight administrator, Best's O'Hara is a witty breath of over-the-top chick-lit opulence fighting a surgeon's exhaustion, and Wever's Zoey is just delightful, a perfect contrast to the compact, compressed and battened-down Jackie. …

The Chicago Tribune says:

… "Nurse Jackie" isn't perfect. The show's supporting characters, particularly Paul Schulze ("The Sopranos'" Father Phil) as Jackie's in-hospital pill supplier and Eve Best as an elegant and sardonic physician, have some outstanding moments (and more screen time for the wonderfully subtle Schulze is a must). But Zoey and Mrs. Akalitus come off as one-dimensional much of the time; the former is too dopey and the latter is too mean. … Despite those quibbles, the six episodes Showtime sent for review zipped by, for the most part. The half-hour format is perfect for this deftly directed program, which is character-based storytelling concentrated to espresso strength. The sixth episode of "Nurse Jackie," which was written by former Chicago playwright Rick Cleveland ("Six Feet Under," "Mad Men") had me in tears in less than 30 minutes -- but it also made me laugh out loud more than once. …

The Washington Post says:

… full of sly twists and startling variations on familiar med-show traditions; this is not just another lament about the long hours and difficult conditions common to those who toil in hospitals. Nor are they all do-gooders and humanitarians. Even the frankness and realism of the late, great "ER" are outdone by "Nurse Jackie's" penetrating and irreverent candor. …

The San Francisco Chronicle says:

… a slow-developing but engrossing character study of a woman who wants a little more of something in life - it's just not entirely clear what that might be. …

The Boston Globe says:

… This is a show about consequences, not actions. The consequences, though, offer ample room for pathos, and a terrific set of supporting characters makes it clear why Nurse Jackie needs the pills. Too many people depend on her …

Entertainment Weekly says:

… It's the latest bit of cutting-edginess from Showtime, a new series that could have come off as jaded or self-satisfied were Falco not anchoring it with such firm authority. …

USA Today says:

… Monday night's premiere expertly creates a world we recognize, an understaffed New York emergency room, and populates it with fascinating characters who all ring true. …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

… Is "Jackie" believable? Not in the least. But the fantastical creation of Jackie Peyton, perhaps surprisingly, has shades of gray that make her very real indeed. Both show and character are something wonderful to behold -- and worth taking multiple doses of. …

Variety says:

… a half-hour that's not particularly funny, simply dark and bleak, yet without much high-stakes drama. Alas, even Showtime can't quite live by "quirky" alone. … While the title character is consistently rough and the language blue, in subsequent episodes (Showtime sent six out for review) the series increasingly feels like all style and limited substance -- a star showcase that's less "triumphant return" than "Nice to have you back, but ... ."