Cool News
Dr Fu Manchu shoves bamboo shards under the fingertips of JAKOB THE LIAR
Hey folks, Harry here, and I must warn you. If you are planning on seeing this movie, just know that you will get a gigantic spoiler down below. This Dr. Fu Manchu does not kid around. He's evil... He'll out and out suddenly spill the beans...(Soy of course)... But he didn't care for this movie much at all. But like I said... If you plan on seeing the film... DO NOT READ THIS! Here's Dr Fu Manchu...
I see that many of you have fallen under the spell of that half-blind henchman, Moriarty. This is understandable, he has excellent PR. Now I am going to pull back the curtain on his facade. You see, Moriarty claims to be evil, claims to enjoy torture. Yet where are his reviews of movies like THE BACHELOR or JAKOB THE LIAR. He's a soft Englishman growing cozy in his hideout. Scared to even leave his Labs, instead sending out clockwork mechanisms of himself. To prove my superiority, I will review yet another torturous nail-puller.
I saw a screening the other night. You know Hollywood is desperate
for good scripts when it has to stoop so low as to do a remake of an
Oscar Nominated film. What's this world coming to? "Jakob The Liar"
(which opens Friday) is a remake of a 1974 foreign film that was
nominated for best foreign language film in 1977 by director Frank
Beyer. Vlastimil Brodsky won for best actor at the Berlin International
Film Festival playing Jakob. The director, has won 3 awards since and
has been directing films way back in 1954 and is still making movies.
Now comes another remake, is Columbia that needy for an Oscar that they
have to take this route? Not only that but Robin Williams produced this
film. Okay, now on to the plot:
Warning BIG Spoilers!
This takes place during WWII in Poland, where it's extremely ice cold.
Jakob (robin williams) is a cafe owner who with others are prisoners in
a Nazi camp. Life is not beautiful here. One night as Jakob is walking
around, he happens to come across a young girl, who just escaped a train
ride going to put those aboard to death. Her parents got her off and now
she is alone until she runs into Jakob. Jakob tells her where to go as
the soldiers hear something. jakob gets arrested and brought to the
General's office. You see there's a curfew at 8pm and no one's allowed
outside.
While in the office, Jakob overhears on the radio that the Soviet
military are having success over the German forces. After the General
shuts off the radio and gives a scolding to Jakob, he returns to his
cafe. He tells the girl that she can stay with him, but to stay hidden
or she'll be gone. The next day during hangout time with the prisoners,
Jakob tells his friends a lie about being saved. That the Soviets are
coming close to their camp & that they are beating the Germans. This
starts a chain reaction where you tell one person one thing and by the
time it gets to the last person it's a whole different story.
Well that happens and now the rumor is that Jakob has a radio. In this
camp if you get caught with a radio you get shot. So now when Jakob
finds out that the rumor is going around he has to put a stop to it.
That's one story, the other one is entertaining the young girl who is
staying with him and keeping her a secret. Then there's another story of
Mischa (liev schreiber), who wants to marry Frankfurter's (alan arkin)
daughter (not Frankenfurter).
There's one too many stories going on in this 2 hour film to make it
interesting. I read the Hollywood Reporter's review stating that this is
better than Roberto Benigni's 'Life Is Beautiful'. I don't know how much
glue they were sniffing during their screening, but there is no way in
Hell that it's better. First off, 'Life Is Beautiful' is not a remake of
anything (hint, hint), it's Original. Second, they are calling Jakob a
comedy/drama, I didn't see anything funny in this film. All the jokes
fall flat, if they were jokes.
Roberto Benigni brought a certain joy not found in that type of film,
out. It was warm and happy and brought tears to one's eyes. Unlike the
tears I had during Jakob, knowing I shot 2 hours of my time away
watching this film.
SPOILER! - The confusing thing in this film is that it's alot like
the ending of "Jacob's Ladder", where Tim Robbins is telling his story
right as he's dying. In "Jakob The Liar", Jakob is shot in the head
(point blank), but he's able to tell his story. How is that done? Was
this all a fantasy? Maybe he's a superhero?
As far as the director's concerned, he should be blamed for this fiasco,
Peter Kassovitz not only directed it but rewrote the story (originally
from the novel by Jurek Becker). He did not write it alone let's throw
in the Art Director of a French TV show "France 2", Didier Decoin.
If you want to see a real film that's fun and heartwarming than rent
the Subtitled "Life Is Beautiful", at least it's not a god-awful remake.
So there you plump fool. Get out of your lab, see a film with your real eyes, not an NTSC transmission via stretched to a hair's breadth copper wire. Moriarty, I'm coming after you.
Dr. Fu Manchu
-
+ Expand All
-
Here is the deal: Robin Williams was once a comic genius. Now, however, he is merely a hack. He decided he wanted to be taken "seriously," and, as a result, has turned out one overwrought hack job after another. So, should anyone be surprised this movie is bad? No. I'm surprised anyone even still cares enough to review it.
-
It seems like every movie has Robin Williams in it. He needs to a year or two off so people can enjoy his work again. Plus, who wants to see a depressing story like this? A remake at that! Williams has talent, but he needs to rethink his priorities.
-
I want to preface this by saying I am still EXTREMELY annoyed by Robin Williams' overwrought weepies in the past few years. But people are saying that this movie is a ripoff of "Life is Beautiful," when in fact "Jakob the Liar" was made three or four years ago, i.e. a couple of years BEFORE "Life is Beautiful." The fact that it's finally getting released may have a lot to do with the success of LIB -- I mean, who are we kidding, right? -- but at least we know they didn't set out to rip off Benigni.
-
And just for the record, "Sunset Boulevard" is narrated by William Holden ENTIRELY from beyond the grave. He shows us his body first thing, floating in the pool!
-
Now before this talkback becomes the "I hate Robin Williams" site, let me just say that a) I agree he should take some time off and stop taking himself so seriously, b) if he HAS to work, take some small supporting roles, a la Bill Murray, c) let's not forget he was really good in Good Will Hunting. I saw it again recently, (not liking it so much the first time), and he is really terrific. Restrained, not too weepy, a good character played by a good actor that may have gone disasterously wrong in lesser hands, and d) my defense will be pretty much shot to hell once Bicentennial Man comes out. That film looks like everything he should be getting away from. I think that's gonna be a big hunk of doody. I'd rather be wrong. Is it just me, or does his makeup look left over from Andy Kaufman's Heartbeeps?
-
saying that he was putting projects aside and going back into small clubs to do standup again. For real! Apparently he's been reading talkbacks (or taking shit from other sources) and he says he's concerned that he's "losing his edge" and wants to get back to his roots. We'll see how this pans out. Sorry I don't have a link to the interview. it could be totally my imagination, but I could swear I read it somewheres....
-
Here's the deal. They are not trying to rip of Benigni, they are merely trying to steal his thunder. If people are stupid enough to flock to see Patch Adams, then why not be stupid enough to flock to see this? I hope Robin Williams goes back to stand-up. He needs it. I can't think of a single movie he's been in where he isn't either a) a child trapped in an adult's body, or
b) some sort of madcap martyr, or
c) this really profound character that influences the lives of all of the people around him or
d) all of the above
Why doesn't he just play Jesus and get it over with? -
I like this Fu Manchu guy. Funny, informative reviews. But let
-
Sep 20, 1999 9:26:03 AM CDT
i shot away two hours on STAR WARS: Episode One Dr. Fu Manchoo s
by mckracken
its pretty obvious to me that this "doctor" doesnt like remakes of any kind, regardless of their plot OR quality, he simply wouldnt care at all. Still sometimes a fresh reviewer makes things interesting and fu Manchoo is no exception...I LIKE THIS PERSON! :O) I LOVED that he blatantly blew the ending of the movie...BANG!! Robin Williams gets shot point blank in the head? COOL!! All you Robin Williams haters will flock to see this seemingly epic turd just the same way I flocked to see "The Good Son" [or whatever that epic turd Mackuly Culkin movie was called where he DIES HORRIBLY at the end!!] or Scream 2 where Jerry O`Connell bashers flocked to see him get shot while being crucified!! YAY..OH JOY!!! HAHAHA....(thats just too bad Jerry you should have stuck to Sliders!!) Now I WANNA go see Jakob the Liar...this sounds SOOOOOO cool!!!! YAY!!! --Mck
-
This reminds me a bit of Camus'
"The Stranger". For that matter,
there is a book of the Bible, alleged to have
been written by Moses, which describes
Moses' death. -
I've heard this gripe many times, but I don't think it's a valid point of criticism. Plenty of movies assume the existence of an afterlife. Why can't this one? I didn't see any of the early reviews attacking American Beauty on this point, which also utilizes a dead narrator. (I caught an advance screening last Thursday and thought that was a spectacular film, by the way.) As for Moses' writing about his own death in the Bible (and there are numerous other logical fallacies associated with the Old Testament), the standard defense there is that if the omniscient God Almighty tells you to write something down, you write it down word for word -- even if it foresees your own demise. Incidentally, I am an agnostic. I just love to play devil's advocate.
-
is gay. He needs to get a good script. I almost threw up when I saw the trailer for this immediately forgettable movie. Stick with Benigni's masterpiece.
-
I just graduated from a university with a tenured professor who is a prominent Holocaust revisionist. (Luckily, he did not teach history.) Such individuals make it necessary to see a movie like Errol Morris' upcoming Dr.Death, to see their skewed psyche and reasoning. But regarding the recent spate of Holocaust 'fables'--Life Is Beautiful, Jakob the Liar, and the one about a village that purchases a train and dresses up as Nazi soldiers to fool the Nazis with a 'mock' deportation--is it really any better or truer to show victims engaging in their own revisionism, pretending that reality doesn't happen? Even when the hero's personal ending is tragic, the overwhelming message is to make believe...
-
Williams has a definite case of "fine-actorism" (ie, "I am a *fine* actor, and don't you *ever* forget it!") that unfortunately was exacerbated by his Oscar win for the last role in which he was actually good. It's a pity he's reduced to dreck like "Patch Adams" and derivative "Oscar-calibre" (heh-heh) stuff like "Jakob" -- but guess what? The unwashed hordes love this sentimental drivel; "Patch Adams" was a hit. Still, I miss the subversive, wild comic I used to see at the Comedy Store when I was a kid -- maybe that guy is still lurking somewhere under this "I believe everything my press agents tell me" facade. We'll see.
-
In Jacob's Ladder, I didn't get the impression that Tim Robbin's character was telling a story. The movie was showing what was going on in his mind while he was unconcious after being badly wounded. He dreamt the whole thing and that is why weird things were happening to him. The movie closes with the doctors giving up because his death ended his dreaming.
-
Robin Williams was surely one of the best comic actors of our times. And he has done some good funny/serious work, the most recent being Good Will Hunting, but the fucking CLASSIC being the late, great film, THE FISHER KING!!!
-
EAT IT, Robin Williams!!! After sitting through the stupendously shitty What Dreams May Come, I have nothing but contempt for this guy. He could have tried to be the bright spot in that shitstorm, but instead he just trundled through it with an "I'm so serious" look. And as for his comedy, he was funny before Mork and Mindy, maybe, but if you look at stuff like Mrs. Doubtfire or Patch Adams he's just running his stupid Man of a Thousand (Annoying) Voices shtick into the ground. I recently rented Adventures of Baron Munchausen, and during his cameo as King of the Moon I just wanted to reach into the screen and bitch-slap him until he shut up, or at least turned it down about twelve notches. And I'd be all for turning this into an I Hate Robin Williams page. >:-)
-
OKAY I AM BEING A TAD BIT DRAMATIC BUT I AM NOT SEEING THIS MOVIE FOR THE SAME REASON I DID NOT SEE PATCH ADAMS, IF I WANTED THICK GOOEY SYRUP PURED DOWN MY MOUTH, I WOULD HAVE RENTED "WET DREAMS MAY CUM.." broke out the VASELINE ADVANCED HEALING INTENSIVE CARE LOTION ( heals severely dry skin )
STARTED JERKING THE MINUTE ROBIN APPEARED ON SCREEN WITH THAT I AM SO COOL CUZ I AM WASHED UP SMIRK LOOK ON HIS FACE, CREAMED MY TWINKIE, AND DRANK MY OWN CUM....
THAT IS WHY I WILL NOT BE SEEING JAKOB THE LIAR.
P.S THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY....WAS THAT BAD???? -
Sep 22, 1999 5:06:01 AM CDT
i am sorry for being so "GRAPHIC" in the posting above!!!
by geekbasher 3.0
-
I just always sigh.."OH GOD not another Robin Williams movie"
just as I GAG when I see a new Kevin Costner trailer, although I have to admit being kinda diggin Message in a Bottle at three in the morning drunk and depressed, I can't believe I watched that whole thing, I was having a MOMENT!!
But the only other actor out there that really irks me and makes me go "OH GOD! NOT ANOTHER MOVIE!! NO!!!!!!"
IS THE WHITE VERSION OF FAT ALBERT HIMSELF>>>
JOHN TRAVOLTA...
Okay heres a lame joke:
WHATS GROSSER THAN GROSS?:
A: JOHN TRAVOLTA AND ROBIN WILLIAMS IN A GAY PORNO TOGETHER! YUCK!!
OKAY I AM GETTING SICK AGAIN>>>SWEET DREAMS! -
Uh oh, those wacky zany Nazi are up to it again. I was not alive during WWII, but it sure seems like it was a fun time at those concentration camps, and to think they tried to tell me in history class that they were laying in piles of dead bodies trying to escape noxious fumes. It seems that the reality of concentration camps was funny party clowns, Disk Jockies, and old guys playing with little children. Hmmm I thought they separated them, but guess not. I agree with the above poster that it is time we see some different types of these movies. Maybe pay some attention to South Africa. However, I do not believe with that persons anarchist, malitia propaganda, and urge everyone to stand clear of his posts and sites. Man oh man, I sure hope that they release that Jerry Lewis movie. To think that nobody will ever get a chance to see Jerry at his most insane, drug indused, sickest moment sends a chill through my nuts.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- G.I. JOE: RETALIATION Delayed Nine Months...Thanks To A Force More Sinister Than Cobra!! -- 214 total posts 213 posts
- THE DARK KNIGHT RISES TV Spot Has New Footage And Dialogue! UPDATED To Add Second Spot! -- 160 total posts 160 posts
- Who Is The Voice Of Batman In WB's Animated Two Part THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS? -- 154 total posts 154 posts
- Cats Beware!! An ALF Movie May Soon Come Our Way... -- 148 total posts 147 posts
- UPDATED!!! A Six-Pack Of New Character Posters For THE DARK KNIGHT RISES Forecast A Lot Of Gotham Rain And Snow!! -- 269 total posts 80 posts
- Gary Oldman Joins The ROBOCOP Remake! -- 76 total posts 76 posts
- AICN COMICS REVIEWS: INCREDIBLE HULK! DANGER CLUB! CLiNT 2.1! JAMES BOND! BATMAN INC.! AND MORE!!! -- 67 total posts 67 posts
- Baz's THE GREAT GATSBY explodes with one helluva dazzling trailer! -- 187 total posts 63 posts
- The Behind the Scenes Pic of the Day… the horror… the horror… -- 49 total posts 49 posts
- Zach Galifianakis Is Ignatius J. Reilly? -- 84 total posts 49 posts