Cool News
Mel Gibson is Shane Black's COLD WARRIOR!!!
Hey folks, Harry here with Some very cool news. I wasn't able to attend the press screening of Mel's latest acting in EDGE OF DARKNESS, but Father Geek says it is up there in the top 5 Mel Gibson performances over his entire career, so looks like Friday, I'll be seeing this!
Well, amongst Father Geek's favorite news items to hit yesterday, his 65th Birthday btw, was the news that Mel Gibson was in talks to star as a Cold War spy, that comes out of retirement to work with a New School spy, all out to thwart evil from the realm of Putin.
The script was written by Chuck Mondry, and the helmer - for the first time - NOT - from his own writing is SHANE BLACK... The Man! This could be a truly great film if that script is up to snuff... and if the script isn't, I have the utmost confidence in her Director. Woo Hoo, Shane Black is directing again, for the first time since KISS KISS BANG BANG, which to me, was the turnaround for Robert Downey Jr's career - in terms of awesome badassery! What do you good folks think? For extra details - go Variety.
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Did you enjoy it? Watch any movies?
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I think Shane Black's strength is his screenwriting. It'll be interesting to see if directing alone will still leave his fingerprints on the film
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I bet we get some good supporting character actors as well. Can't wait.
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Now if only someone could resurrect Harrison Ford's career...
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Shane Black is a fucking god. Throw Mel in the mix and I'm there opening day.
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Love the YS 64 song tribute Harry posted for you here last year. Congrats on 65! Let there be Cake!
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He died at 64. Make sure you spend as much time as you can with your Dad while he's here, and don't ever let him forget how much you appreciate all he's done for you.
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Yeah, ok, fine, he's in his 40s and thus isn't really "New School", I just want him and Shane Black to work together again.
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To the father of cool in aint it cool.
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Someone has to say it!
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JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRISIS ON TWO EARTHS - with his Son & Grandson. The Grandson proclaimed it the best Justice League yet! Father Geek and I spent the day cooking the Spaghetti that he taught me how to cook as an 8 year old, 30 years ago. Originally my sis, Sister Satan was going to do some French cooking, but she fell really ill yesterday. So I volunteered to take over cooking duties... and thought it'd be fun if Pops and I cooked together. Something we rarely have the opportunity for.
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We spend a bit of time together 365 days a year - for the last 21 years straight. And every day is awesome, well except when the pipes broke, the stroke, his parents' funerals. BUT Other than catastrophes... it's all good, and the catastrophes teach us how lucky we are to live each day without them.
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youspend a day apart from your dad every leap year hahahahahahahhahahahhahaha oh yeah that's GOLD.
Um, this could be good, Love Kiss Bang, I like Mel. Anyway who cares, this is waaaayyy off -
Looking forward to it but i wish Warner would take a small risk now that Downey Jr is a big star and give us Kiss,Kiss,Bang,Bang2.I would go and see it.Never gonna happen shame.
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Orson Welles can't save it. The script is the only thing that matters.
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I'm going to vomit
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crap
For the next two years this fuckers gigantic face is going to be everywhere
And he'll use the money to build another church of mel somewhere
nimby -
... develop a series of films based on David Baldacci's "Camel Club" books. Some of the best old school spy shit ever to hit the written page. Gibson would make a great Oliver Stone aka John Carr.
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I'm now spluttering the last of my morning tea (yes, I am English) out of my nose after reading your post! Thanks for the laugh :D
"For the next two years this fuckers gigantic face is going to be everywhere
And he'll use the money to build another church of mel somewhere"
Genius. Now I have to watch that South Park PASSION OF THE MEL again... -
I too lost my Dad at 61, way back when I was 21 (I feel you, googamooga). So say Happy Birthday to your old man from all us geeks and Talkback freaks, and keep on living the dream. Yeah we all rag on you, but really we're just insanely jeaous.
Hope you had a great day, and may you never run out of parmesan. For the spaghetti. Oh, and I hope this movie rocks too... -
...ever since Monster Squad he's been the best writer in Hollywood. And KKBB was one of the films of the decade. Certainly agree that it was the best role Downey Jr had in a long, long time.
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Though I cannot see Crisis on Two Earths being anywhere near as perfect as New Frontier.
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Now.
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It'd have to be without Val Kilmer, who at the moment seems to be trapped in a 45 minute Mustang commercial.
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You know it makes sense.
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the female version of Rosie O'Donnell
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They should re-release Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Then make a sequel. Hell, I would take a Gay Perry Power Hour Tv special.
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. . . how bout Casey Affleck?
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of weirdos and perverts being our entertainers
How the hell did this happen anyway? -
You have excellent taste in super teams. The JLA's the best!
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That movie is so great and there are people I know who have never even heard of it. So unappreciated....
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The fact that Kiss Kiss Bang Bang didn't perform well enough to get a sequel is a hollywood travesty
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RDJ and Gibson would be an "Air America" reunion so hopefully they got along during that shoot...
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if they just re-released Kiss Kiss Bang Bang now, with how popular RDJ is, I'm sure it would do much better, and many people wouldn't even realize it was a re-release.
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not to mention it has so many fuckin funny memorable quotes.and we got see that gourgeous body of michelle monohan.seems like mel is back see what some strange will to do a man.totaly revitalize's you.especialy russian/ukraine strange
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... like he had in Predator.
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RDJ & Gibson have been friends since Air America, which RDJ has said meeting Mel was the best part of that movie. After being released from jail, Mel helped Robert be cast in "The Singing Detective", even though the insurance company wouldn't cover him. Not to mention Mel cast him as Hamlet back in 2000 for the stage when Gibsom directed that show.
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...his finest qualities...but not typical spy traits......but sure, can't wait.
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i like at then end when RDJ shoots the guys he blithly yelps NO
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Jan 28, 2010 9:21:48 AM CST
Happy Birthday to your dad! and veryyyy awesome news!
by t 1000 xp professional
Shane Black directing Mel Gibson is the best news I've heard so far this year.
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They're remaking NIKITA with McG producing!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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I've read it -- it's in the vein of Shane Black's 90s scripts like Long Kiss Goodnight. It's very good.
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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was great and Robert Downey Jr. was perfect in it. The big with the dog was over the top, though.
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It sounds like Gibson is finally back on track, making the kinds of movies he excels at. Let's hope he manages to keep things together. I, for one, have been chomping at the bit for some mega-cool Mel Gibson action for quite a few years, and it appears that it's coming down the pike!
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Was that the last time Shane Black and Mel Gibson worked together? Or was it Lethal Weapon 2?
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My favorite domestic film of all time.
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Jan 28, 2010 11:29:11 AM CST
The LW2 script was writen by Black then rewritten by someone els
by beyondthunderdome2girls1cupbillcosby
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I've always respected him for his courage in regards to The Passsion.He made a movie about Christianity in modern day holywood, filmed it all in Arimaic, put up his own 20 mil when nobody would help him out, withstood all the criticsm and outright LIES (the film is not anti semetic, see my post in the other Mel TB), and it was a MASSIVE hit that made something like 700 mil worldwide. It's like Lucas on the original SW, where he got screwed by the studio, nobody believed in him, but he kept the licensing and sequel rights and made a FORTUNE on the OT sequels and toys.I just love a story like that, where a dude sticks to his vision and principles and ends up kicking the crap out of all the naysayers that mounted up agains him.PS, Mel totally biffed it with his drunken rant, so I'm not excusing that. But it's the past, he apologized, let's get over it.
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Shane Black + Mel Gibson = Total fucking amazement. It's a shame they can't raise the age of the younger spy, it would be cool to throw Downey Jr. in here too. The Addicts!
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welcome back mel. i missed you. stay crazy.
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Was SHIT SHIT CRAP CRAP. Ugh. I couldnt even sit through the whole thing it was so friggin stupid. Not a redeeming thing in that there flick.
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Anything "new school" inevitably SUCKS ASS!!
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So cute. RDJ and VK were funny as hell in that film.
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like the way it sounds."
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This sounds pretty cool...or, um, cold? Or I guess since it's Post-Cold War, it'd be luke-warm. Adding this to my list of Anticipated Projects...
I just hope Mel gets to deliver his signature line, "Give me some milk, sugar tits"! Preferably directed AT Putin. -
"Not a redeeming thing in that there flick" - No. Michelle Monaghan was topless. Even if you hate the witty dialogue and off-beat sense of humor, any straight man must appreciate this.
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It was a Gucci belt, of course...The old queen would accept no less. Mel's going to use it to hang himself while jacking off. When the story breaks, the Gibson estate will blame the Zion-controlled media for besmirching the name of a Hollywood legend.
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Wouldn't The Geekfather be a better cinematic reference?
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DVD column Harry? Donde Flippin' Esta?
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and stupid - at least momentarily.
I'll never go see or even not pay and see another Mel Prickson film ever.
FUCK MEL GIBSON and those giving him work.
Seriously.
He is the face of ugly hate period. -
I'm fueled by hate, so Gibson's Jew hate coupled with the people that hate him = the most fun the internet has ever seen.Correct me if I'm wrong(I might be)but Gibson didn't use any epithets or say, "Hitler was right." He guessed the cop was Jewish correctly and called him "sugar tits". I know I know...his dad hates Jews cause they "killed Jesus".The guy got plowed and did some stupid shit. Who hasn't? If you haven't then your opinion is worthless cause your obviously some straight edge douche nozzle with a "perfect life".Anyway...Let the hate flow through you.
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Jan 28, 2010 7:13:35 PM CST
Our entertainers have always been Weirdos and Perverts.....
by archer1949
It's just that they managed to keep it under the radar back in the day. Mel hasn't broken any laws, so I really couldn't care less.
Anywho......I would like it better if Shane Black had written the screenplay, but anyone involved with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang gets a pass with me.
"Ugly Sucker. Only says 'Ficus'" -
He DID break laws with the Drunk Driving bust. But at least he stuck it out and didn't flee to Switzerland or anything like that.
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The present
Now, 66 years after sucking down the super serum, the legend known as Captain America enters the squared hexagon, ready to once again do battle with the forces of e-veal!
After entering the square hexagon, Cap lifts his left leg and cuts one so hard that the entire left bank of seats in the arena – some 4700 unsuspecting folks are knocked into a stench induced coma and in the process, have their DNA altered forever. Cap’s farts, his true super power, have been known to make the Hulk cry for his mommy. The carnage is cleared away, and the near 5000 folks waiting outside in the cancellation line who were smart enough to have watched Cap’s last fight and knew what was coming, take their seats. His pre-fight ritual complete, Cap wastes no time reconnoitering the square hexagon. Immediately he spots the gas mask wearing Batman crouched, in the upper right hand corner of the cage, his full weight balanced on just his left little toe, on the upper most link. The Batman thinks to himself ‘The Flag wearing Farter does not know I am here. Advantage, me!’ *ssssssss* ‘ I can see you up there, you, know. These klieg lights are very bright’, Cap says. ‘ He is just guessing, advantage still, me!’ the Batman coos. ‘I can also hear you numbnutz, you are talking out loud!’ Cap replies. ‘ Damn that super soldier hearing of his, I’ll have to switch tactics, can’t let him know I’m rattled!’ ‘Too late, and people in the third row can hear you too!’ ‘ Filthy lies! I have to regain the advantage’ the Batman furiously thinks – out loud.. He immediately drops to the floor, and launches into a: Flying Monkey castrates the hyena with a coconut, maneuver. This catches Cap off-guard and puts him on the defensive. Batman presses his advantage with a: Purple assed Baboon grabs the crotch of the old Lion just for shits and giggles. Cap is furious at the tactic, backpedaling into the fence. The arena erupts, sensing an upset in the making. Batman, feeding off of the excitement, executes a perfect: Pregnant Hippo breaks her water on an unsuspecting carp, this puts Cap on his knees, with the Batman moving in for the kill with a: Horny Spider monkey whacking off on tourists, choke hold. The people in the arena are on their feet screaming, within the space of a few heartbeats, the unthinkable has happened. The Batman has completely neutralized his heavily favored opponent, and is on the verge a stunning upset, erasing the bitter memory of the non-detachable cape, near strangulation fiasco at the hands of the Kingpin. Chants of ‘Bat-Man! Bat-Man! Bat-Man!’ rock the arena. Cap is turning blue under the unrelenting pressure from the cable thick arms of the Batman and his spider monkey whacking off, choke hold. Batman, sensing his opponent’s imminent demise, readies the coup de grace: Spider monkey jizzes in the tourists ear and smokes a joint afterwards, when suddenly Cap remembers he has a weapon in his hand – his shield, and smacks the shit out of Batman. The hold loosens just enough, for 66 years of battle trained reflexes to kick in, as the sentinel of Liberty, breaks free. Cap, staggers to his feet, coughing and wheezing, his vocal chords crushed, his eyes bloodshot and near blinded, and bleeding from their sockets. His cognitive functions severely impaired by lack of oxygen. Batman, surveys the damage he has inflicted, and performs a self assessment ‘left side of skull caved in. Left orbital bone fractured beyond repair. Left bipedal motor function degraded. Short term memory possibly impacted. Short term memory possibly impacted. Short term memory possibly impacted. Floating bone chips moving dangerously close to higher level cognitive functions. I have a hard-on! Yes! I have him right where I want him! Come on big boy time to dance with the flying rat!’ *ssssssss*
The two men warily circle one another. A half blind, mentally impaired, and totally pissed off Captain America. And half-crippled and mentally impaired, and sexually excited Batman. Only one can survive.
Cap decides he must end this now, he feigns to the left and tosses his shield to the right, unfortunately his blindness has impaired his aim, he has double vision, and the figure he thought was Batman, is just a shadow! Batman, sensing his opening attempts to press the advantage, he draws upon his two months of torturous Ballet training, and attempts to execute a grand jeté. But his half crippled left side fails him, and he comes crashing down, unbalanced into Captain America, who immediately grabs Batman’s cape – but, that is all he is left holding, because it immediately detaches, just as it was designed, but before Batman can smirk and scramble away, Cap manages to spin around and grab the oversized belt of the Batman – which does not detach, then he wrestles him to the floor, and applies the unbreakable snake lock with his super serum super sized thighs – which turns Batman even as he is passing out. But before the Batman goes comatose, he whispers just loud enough for only Cap to hear ‘how about we call it a draw?’ ‘Never’ Cap replies, and increases the pressure. ‘Ok, listen if my heart stops, then an envelope will be delivered to the Avengers mansion and to Fox news –it has pictures of you and how you really got the super soldier serum!’ ‘No!’ Cap screams. ‘Yes,’ Batman snickers. ‘I have pics of you sucking on a horse’s schlong to get the super soldier serum into you!’ Cap, loosens the pressure slightly, and says. ‘Those pictures were destroyed, after I kille, er, after the general and the scientists were assassinated. How could you have them?’ Batman smirks, ‘they do not call me the world’s greatest detective for nothing! So, how about that draw now?’. ‘Cap, knowing defeat is near, asks weakly ‘ how, and how do I know you will not send them anyway? I should just kill you now and take my chances!’ Batman, thinking furiously to save his cowled neck replies, ‘look in the large pouch on my belt, oooo, that’s wasn’t my belt, but it felt good, ok yes that pouch, ok look at the picture. See ?’ It was a picture of Batman going down on commissioner Gordon, while Gordon was being cornholed by the Joker’ That explains why the Joker always seems to escape punishment, thought Cap.‘You keep that, as a guarantee, and we can both do a donkey kick to the balls to knock each other out, and it will be a draw’! The Batman said. Cap considers it, puts the pic into his pocket, and says,’ ok, on the count of three, kick, and neither one of us opens his eyes until we get into our dressing rooms!’ ‘Agreed!’ Batman all but screams in delight. Cap counts ‘1-2-3’ and both men kicked for all they were worth at the groins of the other man. They both passed out. The arena erupted again in a near orgasmic scream of cheers. The men were carried out of the arena, as their handlers were already negotiating for Bats vs Cap II.
Epilogue As the men were carried out Batman opened his eyes, thanks to his Bat-Cup, the force of Caps Donkey kick was spread throughout his body -'yet another victory for the Dark Knight' he hisses. *sssssss* -
Captain America opens his eyes, 'that muttering fool is talking to himself again' he thinks. The Benefit of sucking horse dick serum is now Cap has the size and stamina of an elite Thoroughbred Horse. Batmans donkey hardly fazed him. Cap is already thinking about the horse fuck he is gonna lay into The Scarlet Witch. Life is good!
The End – for now -
I read that.
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This takes place immediately following the epic fight between Batman and Kingpin.
Prologue
The audience tittered as the large man in the skintight black leather outfit and matching cowl, with a pink tutu, attempted an Arabesque but wound up doing a truly hideous Battement Tendu Derriere! Oh, the humiliation. Still, undaunted by his stunning lack of success, the cowled man, then tries a series of Batterie, which results in one member of the audience loudly whispering ‘he looks like a three-legged donkey trying to fornicate with a frigid goat’. This set the normally reserved audience off on a loud set of guffaws usually associated with the patrons of the lesser arts. Oh the scandal!
But alas, our masked hero was not quite finished, the fortitude and steely resolve that saw him through battles to death – or fingernails being broken –which ever came first, with other spandex and tight leather clad, prowlers of the evening, would not allow him to accept defeat graciously. After all, he had dedicated his life- for the past two months at least, to the study of ballet after his humiliating loss in the square hexagon to that cheating, fish taco eating, fat freak of nature: The Kingpin. He still shudders and wets his Bat undies at the thought of being throttled to near death by his own (non-detachable) cape, at the hands of that fish and cheese eating freak. Oh, yes, adjustments were made to the cape design, so now it will pop off if a drunk beetle just breathes on it. But, he must master this ballet, he has no place else left to go! So, summoning all of his considerable concentration, he executed a passable pirouette, then launched himself at full speed straight at the petrified ‘male’ danseurs, he leapt high into the air and the danseurs - to their credit or scared shitless stupidity, attempted to catch him. A resounding ‘ooof’ and a lisping, high-pitched ‘oh my God he broke my coccyx’ could be heard as all three crashed ignominiously and loudly to the floor . One of the danseurs, the one still conscious, could faintly be heard saying ‘girl you better lose some weight’, followed by a very weak two snaps and a circle, before he too passed out.
The curtain falls –but before it does a mysterious figure who will never be revealed so just get over it now, hands the Batman an envelope that will change his destiny. The Kingpin has been disqualified from the final round vs Captain America because he had unnatural levels of fish oil in his bloodstream. The Batman is back! *sssssssssssss* -
"Short term memory possibly impacted. Short term memory possibly impacted. Short term memory possibly impacted." Hilarious.
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Jan 28, 2010 9:21:49 PM CST
Part two Captain America's real origin. The last part
by dirk_the_amoeba
Meanwhile, 66 years ago, a skinny, 4F reject is walking slowly out of an Army recruiting center. Rejected yet again, his only hope of seeing action in Europe would be to disguise himself as a transvestite and fuck drunk horny sailors. He dismisses that thought – although not too quickly. When suddenly, he is confronted by a four star General and two white coated evil looking old men. The General pulls him into an empty office and wastes no time saying ‘Rogers, you’re a waste of skin, the only way you would see action in Europe is if you put on a skirt and wig, shaved your legs, and bent over in front of some drunk sailors. But, I can change that. These men here are scientists and we have a proposition for you! Don’t look at me like that, I aint talking that kind of proposition you prevert! These men have invented a super soldier formula that can turn you into the greatest fighting weapon ever created by man. But it’s dangerous, and stupid, it could kill you and might make your testicles shrink. We want you to volunteer. But it you don’t we will kill you on the spot because this is top secret. You have five seconds to decide, and four are already gone. ‘ I’ll do it!’ Rogers screams, just as the General was cocking his 45. ‘Shit’, the General mutters under his breath. ‘Oh well, Lucy I’ll get you another one soon baby, don’t you worry. I’ll get you another one soon.’ The four sped off
and arrived at the lab, which is nothing more than a converted barn. It has one inhabitant, the famed racing stallion War Admiral. He does not look happy. The taller scientist spoke ‘You may be asking, vy are ve in a barn?’ Rogers, did not question why the lab was in a barn, but he did wonder why the scientist spoke with such strange accent. ‘Oh, dis is how everyone in vishconin shpeaks! So, the reason vy ve are in a barn is because the formula needed to be kree-aaated in an animal, und a horse was ze best choice. But to get ze formula from ze horse into a hooman, requires, that you must drink ze formula straight from ze horse!’ ‘Drink from a horse?’ Rogers thought, ‘What? How?’, ‘vell’ the shorter scientist said, the best und only way is to drink straight from ze horses um, tallyvacker! Ya. You must suck ze formula straight from ze horses, um shvantz!’ Rogers was about to run away, when the General pulled out his 45 and began muttering, ‘soon Lucy, very soon’, then he stroked the pistol in a very loving way, Rogers immediately began sucking on war Admirals, shvantz, and the horse did what horses do, he erupted, and as Rogers gobbled down the super serum, he felt an immediate change come over him. The shorter scientist said under his breath ‘ Villy, you know ve could haf jest given him an injection’. The taller one replied. ‘ya, volfie, but it vould not be as funny!’ -
and hilarious
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Have a read of his scripts sometime, particularly LETHAL WEAPON and LAST BOY SCOUT - with all the little jokey asides to the script 'reader'. This dude knows he's getting a sale, its just a matter of how much, so he has fun in the process.
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What the fuck is this shit ?!?Lethal Weapon 5 is what we need !!!!
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Jan 29, 2010 10:26:59 AM CST
Uh...didn't Robert Redford already do this...in SPY GAMES?
by ninpobugei
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and many more! I second the notion of revising your moniker to THE GEEKFATHER...how cool & appropriate would that be for this site?!!! Anyways, Harry, always dig the glimpses into your personal life like your relationship w/your Dad...heartfelt & the cool news that really matters!
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LOVE U SHANE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
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