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Who's Writing G.I JOE 2??
Merrick here...
Yesterday we learned that Paramount was ramping up a sequel to Stephen Sommers' G.I. JOE (HERE). IESB says they know who it'll be written by: Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick. They wrote ZOMBIELAND and we recently learned they'd be penning its sequel (details HERE). They're also gonna be scripting that DEADPOOL movie we keep hearing about (details HERE).
Are they gonna become the next Orci/Kurtzman? We'll see, but things are certainly looking good for them at the moment.
I think the new G.I. JOE should be called MO JOE...
IESB's article is HERE!
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Who noticed?
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Mmmm, Lady Jaye. And no, she wasn't a dyke. I don't even wanna hear that bullshit.
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was about the only good thing in that film. He should've been Bones McCoy not that musclebound hollywood charisma bypass they chose instead.
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cuz you know it's coming
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My 'Give-A-Shitometer' (tm) didn't even flicker.
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is the best thing in most movies. Well apart from 500 DAYS OF SUMMER where Zooey D was also great. She stole my heart in that scene where she sings The Smiths in the elevator.I'll fight BSB for her any day.
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not me
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Loads of fun, the toy was never popular over in the UK so I didnt know what it was meant to be like but I enjoyed the hell out of it!
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But boy it tried.
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More like 'crapped out in rage'
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I'll give GI Joe 2 a shot...
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You missed very little Cartoon was very 6-10 y.o. boys. Characters were very specific (a ninja - a demolitions expert - snow environment soldier - a desert environment soldier - a frogman - etc ) - wore very brightly colored, very distinctive costumes. Shot laser-esque weapons - shooting (seemingly) hundreds of rounds in every frame - no one was ever hit.
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the only way is up for the sequel to possible the worst film of 2009.
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he did the best stories.
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Why the fuck not, she owes her career to Sommers (sadly).
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Jan 08, 2010 11:02:02 AM CST
I will probabaly do some input on this script, but i am not writ
by jettl93
Lets not get any rumours started. My involvment in GI Joe2 will stricly be as advuisor of the script and some of the military aspects of production
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So what's the point.
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The first one was the sort of gloriously silly tosh the Transformers movies should have been. I'll be there opening night laughing my ass off
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Get these fuckers in with Harold Ramis for Ghostbusters 3. The ass fucks he's got sucking his dick right now are going to ruin him.
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Sadly - she ain't gonna do it. I know it - you know it - but that's a yummy thought.
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That would mean they write low IQ shit for people who expect other people to do their thinking for them.
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Was a train wreck.
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God that jokes getting old. You didn't like it. We get it.
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Do we have to go through this every single time? The contract we had you sign has nothing to with writing - as has always been the case, it's a contract for Craft Services, buddy. As for "military aspects," I think you're exaggerating. Granted, you'll be up every morning at 4 am toasting bagels for the crew, but that's hardly the same thing as military service.
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Sommers wanted me to let you know that if you show up any more times to set having conveniently "forgotten" to wear your pants... well, we can find somebody else to make our meals. Capiche?
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Who cares? The first one was shit.
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The first one was the worst thing i've ever seen. (I didn't see Transformers 2).
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Toilet humor with racial stereotypes need not apply. as shitty as GIJoe was, it was 5x better than Bayformers 2.I'm sure Lockesbrokenhead would digress, but he's no longer around these parts. I guess the orderlies at the mental institution finally pulled him away from the puter and hauled his ass back in the padded cell.
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I'm not saying he was bad, but throughout most of the movie he was behind a damn mask and his voice wasn't even his own (unless they just manipulated it a lot). GI Joe was one of my childhood loves, but this was an abomination.
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"DETONATE THE ICE CAPS!!!!!" It was muha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Whilst everyone in the movie was just shitty and they were TRYING to be good, Levitt was just insanely over the top evil. And that's why it's funny. And entertaining. Period.
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A 5-year old with a crayon? :-)
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At least Optimus Prime punched a robot through the fucking chest and tore it's face off. You see anything that cool in GI Joe? Didn't think so.
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Screw you Tall dumb Boy66. That movie made me want to be become part of the Joe team. It had characters that I actually cared about, plus a story as well. Transformers 2 had zero entertainment value. It was all just cotton candy that turned to hard bitter sugar in the end. Didn't think so you stupid piece of shit. Now get on home!!
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Because Transformers 2 had giant fucking robots and GI Joe had a Wayans brothers and infinite flashbacks of bullshit. Epic fail on GI Joe. Case closed.
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You ACTUALLY CARED about GI Joe charaters? And you wanted to BE PART OF THE JOE TEAM? These are things you actually said. These are things you actually believe? Really? Wow. you have deep seated problems for which you should recieve professional help immediately. Who in God's Fucking Name sits down and watches GI Joe and thinks "Golly! I care about these people and I want to BE ONE OF THEM?!" Were you dropped on your head as a child? Cause that's the only explanation.
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"You see, it fucked up my head so badly that I actually gave a hoot about GI Joe and it's terribly acted cast. Because I'm a complete fucktard! DURRRR!!!!! Best go put my retard helmet on so I don't hurt myself going outside to get some milk at the store. DURRR!!! I even thought GI Joe had a story! And I wanted to be a PART! OF! THE! JOE! TEAM! In the end? I'm a fucking twat! Hoorray!"
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Nobody wants your idiotic DNA spreading across humanity to create more little idiotic jackasses like yourself who actually find some sort of transcendental entertainment value in GI Joe. "I care about these people! And I want to be them!" Holy shit. Humanity is doomed if people like you are out there. You. Stupid. Mother. Fucker.
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...and it would still suck elephant balls.
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Big Lob for President!... But first, I would also love to see Fensler Film scripts with the live action Joes!http://tinyurl.com/yc33bws
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would be aa marked improvement
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Baby, you put "I'm too old for this shit" in yer screenplay - ya gotcherself a Hollywood career made-a gold!!
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Jan 08, 2010 3:27:13 PM CST
Mr. Writer: Please don't forget to include BIG LOB in G.I. Joe 2
by gibsonusa returns
You darn right he's coming.
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or not -- what is disappointing is that you you did like it are willing to settle for mediocre, when it could've been so much more. You lack vision.
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... At the cocksucking factory. Apparently he was stealing cocks to suck at home.
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Jan 08, 2010 4:15:34 PM CST
Well your writers PLEASE allow BIG LOB to make his move?
by gibsonusa returns
This is how the interview process should have gone for G.I. Joe 2 writer.
Applicant: ...So as you can see, I am ready contribute in taking Duke, Scarlett, and G.I. Joe to the next level in terms of financial performance as well as artistically.
Paramount: Very good. So, how much does BIG LOB make his move in this movie?
Applicant: Who's BIG LOB?
Paramount: .....GTFO. -
GI Joe was entertaining. Far from perfect with many flaws, but still fun. Maybe id 95% of the people on these boards were not fixated on hating everything and finding everything wrong with a movie, most of the time even before its made, maybe some of you might find the time to actually enjoy a few movies every now and then. You are only hurting youselves being haters all the time. Try enjoying something once in a while.
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Nobody...and I mean NOBODY...will complain or even notice.
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Jan 08, 2010 5:46:38 PM CST
Recasting here is like recasting April O'Neil in TMNT2.
by gibsonusa returns
People barely noticed.
In fact the new one was arguably hotter.
Recast Duke.
Drop Ripcord
Drop Breaker
Drop Heavy Duty
(Who will miss these guys, seriously?)
Retain Snake Eyes (minus lips)
Retain Scarlet
Draft BIG LOB, Beachhead, Lady Jaye, and the American flag. -
You seriously need to end it now. One thing the world doesn't need is more stupid fucks.
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Never had G.I Joe in the UK so i didn't know what to expect from the film. I quite enjoyed it, it's never going to be on my list of great films because i just can't stand Steven Sommers, but it was fun. The only big change would have to be a recast of Channing Tatum. That guy is a seriously bad actor and has the charisma of a piece of 2 x 4. I'm also quite intrigued about this BIG LOB guy. Anyone that speaks in sports metaphors would fit into the Joe world nicely
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Fabulous
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Marvelous
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I feared this piece of shit would get a sequel, but I thought it would wait at least a little while. I agree with GibsonUSA Returns. In the meantime, never forget that all the praise from AICN was due to their being handsomely paid to give it glowing reviews contrary to common sense. "G.I. Joe" sucked dead moose balls. Yes, GibsonUSA, you are right. Reboot the bitch, retain Snake Eyes and Scarlet, and start fresh otherwise. Bring in Gung-Ho (Steve Austin), Roadblock (Michael Clark Duncan), and Doc (Sam Jackson).
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Ya know, Stallone's "Expendables" is going to be the real G.I. Joe movie. Just like "Aliens" was the real Starship Troopers and "The Gamers" was the real Dungeons & Dragons. Expandables, like PRedator (and Aliens) before it, will show how G.I. Joe should have been made. Alas, the films we get are G.I. Joe in name only, just like Transformers and Highlander sequels.
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My wife and I made it through about 10 minutes of it on Blu-Ray before giving up. Terrible acting, terrible dialogue, stupid plot, poor action scenes, bad direction.
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Gimme.
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I'm sure you have your eyes on the lookout for the ESB Making of book coming soon
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You did exactly what I wanted you to do. Proved that your dumb, have no class and have bad taste in movies asshole!
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and Jason Lee for Shipwreck.
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It's a webisode series on YouTube currently. If it ever gets snatched up, maybe Rheese and Wernick could do it justice.
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Jan 08, 2010 10:31:02 PM CST
The cries for the inclusion of BIG LOB are deafening!!
by gibsonusa returns
My ears!
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He ain't wearin no accelerator suit either.
MA LOB picked out his boy's outfit a long time ago.
Costume lady betta back da fuc off! -
It would be sad if he was a nice person.
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Jan 09, 2010 12:00:13 AM CST
Lady Jaye is a "tough chick". A young Sigourney Weaver.
by gibsonusa returns
Like Sarah Connor in T2 (not looks, but attitude). Thats how I imagine her.
Thats why I picked Lena Headey, the other Sarah Connor, from the TV show. -
..to be fully immersed in the "Joe" universe. Imagine my shock as the iconic characters were handeled in such a cavalier manner. Master thespian Channing Tatum was saddled with a one dimensional character study while Joseph Gordon Levitt is expected to pull off a Shakespearean performance through a mask."I say..", I exclaimed as I fumbled for the off button. This episode of Materpiece Theater has been ruined.IT'S A MOVIE FOR 8 YEAR OLDS!
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Jan 09, 2010 12:26:34 AM CST
You can often tell a target audience by the way its advertised.
by gibsonusa returns
-Snake Eyes, in essentially original costume, the arguable focus of promotion.
- The usage of Kid Rock's "American Badass" in television and internet commercials.
- The usage of the line "Real American Hero" in tv sports, a line that doesn't even actually appear in the movie.
imo Clearly, this movie was not intended for simply 8 yr olds. -
Jan 09, 2010 12:39:19 AM CST
BIG LOB saved the entire G.I. Joe team in the '87 movie.
by gibsonusa returns
BIG LOB is, yes, undefeated.
He scores every time.
His moves are impeccable.
His defense is impenetrable.
His haircut is induplicable.
The man cannot be stopped.
When BIG LOB appears in G.I. Joe 2, he is to never lose. If this is going to be an Empire Strikes Back deal where the bad guys get the upper hand, BIG LOB is to be nowhere in the vicinity when it occurs. he is to be thousands of miles away, shrugging his shoulder, having nothing to do with anything. -
Completely ridiculous. BIG LOB is all business. BIG LOB has his game face on. BIG LOB saves the day.
MA LOB didn't raise his boy to be fooling around with some girl on the job like them bums Duke and Ripcord. BIG LOB saved the world and is on the first plane home to mow the lawn and pick up his nephew from school. -
"8 year olds" wasn't a criticism. I hate these fucks who think this movie was supposed to be a "real" adult version of a kids show. I liked this movie a lot and can't wait for next one.anyone who saw this movie and didn't like it cause it wasn't up to their "standards" is a dip shit. What the fuck were they expecting?
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overly dark or "adult." But, it should at least utilize what made it iconic in the first place, the feel of and the imagery from the Hama comic. The kids show was never the true version of G.I. Joe ARAH.
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Zombieland was a really enjoyable movie. GI Joe was not. Zombieland showed that a simple story with a decent enough script is fun. GI Joe showed just how bad script writing can get. The scene on the fighter plane where a character correctly guesses a foreign word that allows the plane fire it's weapon or whatever happened, is surely one of the lowest points in the history of film. I'm sure everyone over the age of twelve cringed, laughed or expressed some form of exasperation at the pathetic standard of the writing. I know it was ultimately aimed at kids, but Pixar have shown time and again that a kids movie can also be very enjoyable for adults too. Things can only get better for GI Joe! What a shame the finance for this sequel isn't being used for anything else?!?!
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Boy there sure is some talented writers out there.
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hated the power suits and the buffoonery
Which was almost Jar Jar lvl
They should concentrate more on the different Joe's skill sets in the next one
And that doesn't mean default to the hacker saving the day with a dozen keystrokes cliche -
Writers? Why do they need to pay some stinkin writers for a sequel when they didn't have any for the first one?
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cargo plane filled with all of the Iron Man rip-off suits, is blasted out of the sky by a Trouble Bubble. Big explosion. Commence enjoyable movie.
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The toys were popular in the UK. They were just called Action Force here for 6 years, before they became GI Joe here too for the next 20 years. I hate people with phoney recolections of their youth.
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An infinite number of monkeys banging away at an infinite number of typewriters
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for just a moment at the end of the film, just a MOMENT, I thought they had actually had the stones to go through and kill the comic relief character. Not hating on Wayans specifically, but I thought that would have been a very interesting and brave move on the movie's part, setting it up to be darker next time.
But he surivived and they made a running gag out of it instead, and so all that potential heroic sacrifice was lost... and he'll be in the next one. Meh.
Also, I had free passes to see the movie, and with a group of friends, enjoyed it well enough, it was indeed FUN, though stupid. Maybe the key words here are "free" and "with a group of friends".
And to anyone coplaining about the mech suits... LARRY HAMA had them in the comic. Snake Eyes got trapped in one and was unwillingly cutting down his own allies. You know, back in the 80's. Stop acting like having mech suits, in and of itself, was a complete discredit. -
FADE IN
GI Joe Theme playing.
Sienna Miller gets naked.
FADE TO BLACK -
Jan 10, 2010 1:35:39 AM CST
Ripcord character getting killed in the opening would be awesome
by gibsonusa returns
1. It gets rid of the character. Bye bye Jar jar!, and
2. It gives Duke and Scarlet reason for revenge. -
Jan 10, 2010 1:59:05 AM CST
BIG LOB should take an hr to appear, like the Jaws shark
by gibsonusa returns
Make the people wait for it!
Spend the first hr following Duke being a douchebag.
Audience: WTF? More of the same??
Then, just as the audience is about to get up to leave, the camera pans down slowly to a training facility for new recruits.
ENTER THE LOB.
BIG LOB should be dominating obstacle courses and narrating himself when Cobra jets attacks the facility and kill nearly everyone. BIG LOB doesn't have a scratch on him, and searching the rubble, he rescues TUNNEL RAT.
The team has arrived. -
WTF. That's like Robin but no Batman.
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and go to work? He should. Chuckles should be Teller to BIG LOB's Penn.
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There is a second one on the way? Surely you must be joking? Clearly not!!! I hate to talk about studio hacks, but Stephehn Summers is one, if surely there ever was one! What on earth green lighted a second one? Everything this guy has ever touched is a total CGI mess... Hey, why not go for submarines that completely deny the laws of physics!!! What a great idea, Steve! Aren't there any more Mommies this guy can desecrate???
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a chimp
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a chimp
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Jan 10, 2010 4:28:29 PM CST
I agree, Chuckles needs to be riding atop Cobra's jet.
by gibsonusa returns
And punch it down from the sky.
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Duke's acting all emo over Baronness.
Meanwhile Chuckles is hanging onto Storm Shadow's jetpack slapping him out of the sky. -
Duke refuses to shoot an ex-girlfriend trying to steal a dangerous weapon.
Meanwhile, Storm Shadow is tripping over his own feet at Big Lob's moves. -
BIG LOB - the national search begins.
Tunnel Rat - John Leguizamo
Chuckles - Brock Lesnar
Jin - Lucy Liu
Law - Ethan Hawke
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Jan 10, 2010 9:40:19 PM CST
Didn't like the first one too much. Hope this is lot better.
by logan5150
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just come out and make it a comedy that makes fun of itself whydontcha.
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Jan 11, 2010 2:26:02 PM CST
-----So to conclude this talkback: Please include BIG LOB in GI2
by gibsonusa returns
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