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Mr. Beaks Ushers In The New Year With His Top Ten Guy-In-A-Gorilla-Suit Scenes!
"A good movie is three good scenes and no bad scenes. A great movie is three good scenes, no bad scenes, and, I shit you not, one reasonably effective guy-in-a-gorilla-suit gag." - Howard Hawks
Very little in this world - reading, antiquing, sex - gives me greater pleasure than a well-executed guy-in-a-gorilla-suit gag. It requires a brute elegance, this mirthful melding of man and his savage former self; a feral identification with the way we were before the monolith inspired us to wield bones as cudgels. A complete absence of shame is crucial as well. And while you don't have to be Jim Belushi, it sure does help. This list was suggested earlier today when Edgar Wright tweeted that his favorite moment in OCTOPUSSY is the scene where Roger Moore, disguised as a gorilla, checks his watch. Most serious Bond fans regard this as one of the (many) nadirs of the series - and they have a point. But for a nine-year-old who considered the Berosini Orangutans to be one of the era's top comedy ensembles, this simian non-sequitur was pure genius. The suavest man alive was bounding about in a gorilla suit! What a concept! Twenty-seven years ago, I loved everything about OCTOPUSSY; today, I consider this moment one of the few saving graces of a bottom-five Bond flick (mired in the muck with DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN, A VIEW TO A KILL and DIE ANOTHER DAY). If only they'd brought Bond in full gorilla get-up to the baccarat table brandishing a martini and a Morland Special. That would've killed. The most effective guy-in-a-gorilla suit gags tend to be clumsily shoehorned into films which a) have nothing to do with gorillas, and b) are set as far from their natural habitat as possible. Incongruity is key. And while I've a profound respect for legendary gorilla-suit performers like Ray "Crash" Corrigan, Charles Gemora, Steve Calvert and Bob Burns, they were actually, with one exception, too polished to make this list; the less gorilla-like one's movements are, the more likely I am to lose my shit. That said, I do have standards. I saw the same OLD DOGS trailers y'all did, and I was offended to the core of my gorilla-suit-loving being by the sight of Seth Green's silverback shenanigans. This schtick can be used for evil. But when harnessed for good, it has the power to illuminate, and restore the wonder that seeps daily from our lives. With that in mind, here are ten of the most joyous moments ever committed to celluloid.
10. POOTIE TANG IN SINE YOUR PITTY ON THE RUNNY KINE
In the prologue to Louis C.K.'s feature-directing debut, we learn that Lance Crouther's gibberish-spouting, belt-snapping bastion of manhood lost his factory-worker father (Chris Rock) to a bizarre workplace gorilla assault. Sadly, there is no video of this available online, so please reference your own, well-worn copy of POOTIE TANG.
9. "Bear Shooters"
A 1930 Our Gang short in which Spud, Chubby, Farina, Jackie, etc. set out on a camping trip "to shoot wild bears from a distance". After about ten minutes of classic Hal Roach child endangerment, the kids encounter some ruthless poachers, who, for reasons that are never adequately explained, possess a gorilla suit. One of the poachers dons this suit in order to terrorize the kids - which works until he's ensnared in a bear trap. Once he's caught, Farina and Chubby fire pellets and arrows into the villain's backside for a good forty-five seconds. I loved "Bear Shooters" as a kid, but it's got Farina, which means it's kinda racist. Watch it, and you'll see what I mean. Interestingly, Roach was a huge fan of humans being viciously punished for simulating animal attacks (see "Night 'n' Gales"). I'll also note that "Bear Shooters" opens with another surefire bit of Our Gang business: children refusing to put their pants on. Spanky was the Charlie Chaplin of this routine.
8. THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN
This satire of consumerism from Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner (directed by AICN-fave Joel Schumacher) was a pay-cable mainstay in the early 1980s, and while it mostly fails to hit its intended targets, it does feature tremendous work from Rick Baker as Sidney the gorilla. Here's the money scene:
8. OCTOPUSSY
See above.
7. FREAKED
Everything about this Alex Winter/Tom Stern cult classic is blissfully random, so there's something commendable about their willingness to go for a simple gorilla suit gag when they've got a bunch of insane Screaming Mad George creature designs at their disposal. The scene in question finds Nosey, a coke-anxious dwarf with a huge schnoz (played by Emmy Award-winning BEN STILLER SHOW writer Jeff Khan), participating in a variety show by breakdancing in you-know-what.
6. AT THE CIRCUS
A lesser Marx Brothers film, but the trapeze finale, which finds Harpo and Gibraltar the gorilla (Charles Gemora) tangling with the bad guy, is memorable.
5. WHERE'S POPPA?
Carl Reiner's perverse 1970 romp finds the profanely unflappable Ruth Gordon doing battle with George Segal, who tries, and fails miserably, to scare her to death in his brother's gorilla suit.
4. KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE
"Hello, Dino!" Never question a gorilla's virility on live television. (Starts at 5.40)
4. BLONDE VENUS
Sometimes, there's not a guy in that gorilla suit.
3. SCHLOCK
Rick Baker is one of the most brilliant creature f/x artists of our time, but when it comes to mining comedy from guys in gorilla suits, the shittier his work is, the better. Here's John Landis having a moment with some little leaguers.
2. TRADING PLACES
"That black one must be the female." My namesake, Clarence Beeks (the late great Paul Gleason), winds up on the brutal business end of a richly-deserved costume switcheroo.
1. THE PINK PANTHER
... this is Odessa Steps of guy-in-a-gorilla-suit scenes.
Happy 2010. It's January, and I'm not going to Sundance, so expect more of this nonsense. Feel free to make a case for BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA.
Faithfully Submitted,
Mr. Beaks
Update: Thanks to Daytripper69 in the below talkback for reminding me that January 31st is, per the orders of Mad Magazine's Don Martin, National Gorilla Suit Day! I fully intend to participate - and you should, too!
Readers Talkback
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Kapa Chow.
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'Cause most of that entire flick was just one long guy (Rick Baker again) in a suit scene.
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Jan. 4, 2010, 1:04 a.m. CST
You better sine your pitty on the runny kine....
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
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...I'm thinking, "Where's Trading Places? Where's Trading Places?" Ah, thank God.
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Jan. 4, 2010, 1:07 a.m. CST
Freaked is great, Gotta love Brooke Shields
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Can you imagine that crazy bitch in a gorilla suit?
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With Pootie Tang running a close second.
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called me crazy for always shoehorning a guy in a gorilla suit in pretty much every film I made while there. They just don't understand.. it's magic.
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Wherein Prince protege Vanity receives the brutal business end of Rick Baker's fur banana.
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I have a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that there's another gorilla suit scene that's missing... but I can't remember what it is. Regardless of that, At The Circus making the top ten = listwin.
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Surely theres a place for Bruce Campbell being mauled & eaten by a gorilla on this list ???
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I mean, they're not gorillas, but c'mon!
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Come on, that was far and away the funniest and best Man in a Gorilla Suit ever committed to film. I wave my private parts in the general direction of this list for not putting Trading Places first.
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Worse than Moonraker? C'mon. Oh, and I know I'm in the minority, but "World Not Enough" bugs on so many levels. Way more than Golden Gun. Great gorilla-suit list, though.
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Noticeably missing...
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Nah. There are too many classic and memorable scenes; Bond livening up the fuddy-duddy auction at Sotheby's, Bond out-cheating the villain at backgammon, who advises him 'Spend the money quickly, Mr.Bond'. Stephen Berkoff completely mad. Bond in gorilla AND clown costume! "Hiss off". The plane stuntwork at the end is great stuff. Bottom 5? TOP 5 says I.
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"That's my little Octopussy" and Q gettin' some.
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Jan. 4, 2010, 5:05 a.m. CST
from tv: The Incredible Hulk vs gorilla at the zoo
by sHapesHiftinLizard
Great scene from the 1st series, when the hulk fights a 'gorilla' who is hopped up on violnce inducing drugs. Bonus: they fight in an office, chucking office equipment at each other inbetween wrestles, very funny, esp how the gorilla starts out all bad ass, but after the Hulk chucks the filing cabinet, he starts getting scared. Great acting from both thespians.
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You're coming out as somebodies bowel movement"<p>CONGO ftw.
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...it still stands up today - http://tiny.cc/Na6iE
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you fail to mention this brilliant film or the brilliant use of gorilla-suit hijinks.
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... is pretty fun if you look past the budget. A gorilla-suit guy fighting and flirting with a babe, plus tons of cleavage as one might expect from Bill Black.
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That's definitely a Top 5 Bond flick for me, too. How can anyone hate a 007 flick where he goes to an island inhabited only by hot women?! The pre-title action sequence was terrific, too, with that fantastic hangar explosion. Just a beautiful musical score. The auction. The way Kristina Wayborn leaves Bond's hotel room. The stuntwork on top of the train. Rogue Commies as bad guys. It's got the dudes who played General Riekken, Boba Fett, and the Imperial officer Vader choked in "A New Hope" as supporting players. And -- YES! -- Steven Berkoff going absolutely bat-shit evil crazy a full year before "Beverly Hills Cop" and two years before "Rambo: First Blood Part II." Dude was owned by Bond, Rambo and Axel Foley. What an '80s trifecta!
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Jan. 4, 2010, 7:05 a.m. CST
Don't Forget! —— January 31st is National Gorilla Suit Day
by Daytripper69
As originated by Don Martin via Mad Magazine.
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While I agree that Octopussy is in the bottom five, Diamonds Are Forever, The Man With The Golden Gun, and A View To A Kill are definitely not. None of those movies is as bad as License To Kill, The World Is Not Enough, or the non-canonical Never Say Never Again. I'm about to murder my credibility, but I don't really like Thunderball. From Russia With Love is my favorite.
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I think Man With The Golden Gun is probably the third best Roger Moore bond flick.
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Arnold as Mr Freeze in a PINK Gorilla Suit doing a ridiculous dance... if i remember correctly.<p>Do you know what killed the dinosaurs? The ICE AGE!
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Good Lord that's funny.<p>Bond stopped being fun after Moonraker. ClownBond is unforgivable, but then Beak's opinion is truly flingable.
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Jan. 4, 2010, 8:03 a.m. CST
That was Uma Thurman in the gorilla suit in Batman & Robin
by Nasty In The Pasty
GO-rilla, it's yer birthday...<BR><BR>And Octopussy is fine. A few REALLY silly gags slip through (the aforementioned "Moore in a monkey suit scene, the infamous "Tarzan yell" joke), but there's some excellent stunt work, a great John Barry score, and that wonderfully atmospheric post-credits scene where Bond's fellow 00-agent is chased through the forest by the knife-throwing twins. I saw this film at the age of nine, and the image of the agent staggering through a patio door with a knife in his back haunted me.
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You know, the white gorilla that attacked Captain Kirk? For shame, Mr. Beaks!
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So we're considering
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You mean Edgar Wright?
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But I guess it's a good thing that I don't remember that movie completely accurately. So, yeah, Uma Thurman in a magenta gorilla suit in Batman and Robin. <p> If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday finest. It's time to feast!
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when you wore a tux to the circus.
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Lets get the obligatory out of the way. Sean is Bond. The greatest there ever was or ever will be. The perfect combination of charm and menace.<p> Craig is already my second favorite Bond. Although QoS was a piece of shit. <p> Lazenby is severely under rated, and would have been a top notch Bond. But is still my third pick overall. Far superior to that drip Roger Moore (who was a fine light comedian and a great Saint), but who should never have been handed the Bond franchise - he turned it into a joke. <p> Brosnan, matured very well into the role after fumbling for a few years, but he was always too small, and just when he finally nailed the character, he got too old for it. <p> Dalton, just had no charm or enthusiasm for the role at all. But he had plenty of menace. <p> All that being said, I will never denigrate the feelings a child has for seeing his first Bond movie. If Moore was your first exposure to the role, and you hold fond memories of that, I totally understand it. My very first Bond movie was seeing Diamonds are Forever in the theater. I was blown away. I had never seen anything like it in my very young life. <p>Yes, later I saw what Connery could really do with the role, and DAF has fallen to the bottom of his heap, but it still holds a cherished place in my heart, because it was the first one.
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<P> First of all, most Bond films have enough good stuff that "lesser Bond" is relative. <P> The World is Not Enough (undone by Denise Richards and some ridiculous scenes), Die Another Day, Live & Let Die, and A View to a Kill I would put as "more bad than good." <P> Octopussy is a very enjoyable film, featuring one of the great villain monologues of all-time: General Orlov's delightful explanation to the Politburo of how the USSR would win World War III.
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There was an ep of Spongebob that had (what I thought was) a hilarious Gorilla Suit Gag, where Patrick is meant to dress up as a Gorilla to pretend to scare Sandy, in the hopes that this would draw Spongebob out of his self-imposed solitary confinement in his pineapple house. Naturally, a Gorilla turns up next to Sandy, who acts all scared. Spongebob, however, decides that it's not worth it, until of course, Patrick turns up along with Sandy and the Gorilla. At this point, Sandy asks, "Patrick, I thought you were in the gorilla suit?" Cue the 'gorilla' unzipping his suit to reveal Patrick underneath. Cue 'Patrick' unzipping his suit to reveal a real-life man-in-a-gorilla-suit underneath.
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<P> It gets very draggy toward the end (extended action scenes like the moon buggy, Whyte House climb, and finale on the oil rig). It's just too uneven. Amusingly enough, I always felt DAF was the template all the Brosnan Bond's seemed to follow (to their general detriment). <P> However, Diamonds did have one saving grace that I have come to appreciate over time: Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint. Holy cow. As I've gotten older, I have come to appreciate the subtle pleasure of their presence in the film. You should especially like them if you dislike Diamonds are Forever. They are like the Muppets' Statler and Waldor, if Statler and Waldorf were gay, sociopathic hitmen. <P> Mr. Kidd: If God had wanted man to fly... <P> Mr. Wint: ...He would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd.
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gets me everytime.
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But it's probably Moore's third best Bond film (after TSWLM and FYEO) and on no conceivable level is it in the bottom 5. Beaks is right about most of the rubbish ones. But switch Quantum of Solace for Octopussy and Moonraker for A View to a Kill. Seriously, QoS is a mess from start to finish. Oh, and Dalton was superb so the naysayers can go bite my big one.
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I don't like Thunderball either. "The Living Daylights" is one of my favorites, partly because it seemed a little more grounded in reality than others, but not so much so as to not seem like a Bond movie as was the case with "License to Kill". It did however lack a real villain, though curiously the guy who played the mad General (or whatever he was) with a taste for lobster, came back in the Brosnon movies as a CIA agent. Are there really that few rotund Americans in the world - and a casual glance out of my window at work would suggest not - that they had to double up on the same guy?
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Pootie Tang makes it
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Jan. 4, 2010, 9:22 a.m. CST
SO PINK PANTHER IS THE IRREVERSIBLE OF GORILLA SUIT MOVIES?
by BringingSexyBack
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Hell Looooooow!!!!!
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They have 15 guys in suits worshipping a monolith before discovering HOW TO MURDER EACHOTHER with blunt objects. If that isn't the greatest man in suit sequence ever filmed...I don't know what is. <p> Oh, and that scene from Blonde Venus is hilarious. Watched it in multiple film classes, and it always gets me. The woman is so uninterested and unsexy, the song so incredibly racist, the gorilla suits, also, so incredibly racist. Oh, the good old days of racist entertainment. That scene is straight fucked.
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...just got back into the office after being gone for a couple of weeks. Finally got around to booting Pandora Radio. The first song: "Diamonds are Forever".
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One of the few Americans Jimmy shagged. DAF is awesome, but then most Connery ones are.
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1) From Russia with Love - Sean at his most lethal and charming best. With the best script and most believably menacing villain - Robert Shaw. <p> 2) Dr. No - One of the best first movies of a series ever, and has the most iconic Bond image of them all: Ursala. Walking out of the ocean <p> 3) Goldfinger - The one and only time that Bond is out quipped by a bad guy, and (believably) almost loses his balls. Best car in the series. <p> 4) On her Majesty's Secret Service - The most epic Bond of them all. You could actually see Lazenby grow into the role and get more comfortable, so that by the end of the movie, he was well on his way to being a great Bond. <p> 5) Thunderball - Beautiful, action packed, Connery shows his singular ability to be able to be charming and menacing at the same time. To be able to kill a woman without losing any credibility. And it had the most gorgeous Bond women ever assembled. Luciana Palauzzi, and Claudine Auger. <p> 6) You only Live Twice - a toss up with the #7 on my list, but it gets the nod because of the big fight in the crater. It has the most beautiful score of all of the Bond flicks. Bond trying to pass for Japanese, was truly silly though. <p> 7) Casino Royale (The Daniel Craig version)- Just an amazing first effort, that beautifully reimagined and reset the franchise. Craig was perfect as the lethal, yet still unpolished Bond. He had all the menace of Connery, but only the nascent charm - as it should be in the beginning. I loved the card game. It showed the producers were serious about returning Bond to his roots and not just aping Bourne. At least until that POS QoS. <p>8) The Spy who Loved me - Moore's very best effort at Bond. Kept the silliness to a bare minimum, and had a terrific script and locations, and Barbara Bach was stunning. Jaws was iconic. <p> 9) License to Kill - Showcased what Dalton could have been if he and producers had chosen to continue. He had the acting chops and he had the menace to be a truly great Bond. But he lacked the charm or the ability to throw off the one liners with the effortless ease of Connery, or even the comic ease of Moore. <p> 10) The World is Not Enough - Brosnan nails the role in his penultimate appearance. He finally showed the menace that is required (he always had the charm) - the ability to kill anyone. male or female, without a moments hesitation or remorse - and to make it believable.
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it just tries too hard
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is underrated. It should be on the Bond TOP 5 list. :) Madonna's song was terrible, I'll give you that much... but the film was fun. The villain was great, Halle was sexy, opening sequence in Korea was truly awesome... loved the set pieces: North Pole, Cuba... the fencing scene was stunning... I had a damn good time watching it and it's one of my fave Bonds. Agree on the rest of the bottom 5 list, though. Man With The Golden Gun and A View To A Kill weren't so cool.
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Jan. 4, 2010, 10:20 a.m. CST
OMG HagCeli
by ISleptWithKathyBatesAndAllThatIGotWasThisStupidTalkbackName
You and me would NOT get on real life.<p>There's so many things i could argue against in your post! You say that the villain in Die Another Day was great and, though i'd disagree with that, i will admit that the actor playing him was awesome. He had the best punchable-evil villain smile in some time.<p>View To A Kill is awesome! Sure, Roger was a bit too old for the part but it's still one of my favorites purely for Walken! He has one of the best Bond deaths too. The way he realises that he's completely fucked at the end and starts laughing as he falls to his death. A.w.e.s.o.m.e!
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starring W.C. Fields Big Gorilla gets drunk!
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What a cast! Anne Bancroft, Lee J. Cobb, Raymond Burr, Lee Marvin, and Gorilla Suit Guy. And it's the only movie I've seen where a gorilla is framed for murder. In 3D!
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They guy in the Gorilla suit that hung out by the pool on the Beverly Hillbillies for about ten episodes.
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Last Bond film to have a quirky sense of humor. Great Vocal by Tina Turner. Wint and Clint. Come on!
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That started with 50% of a great (almost perfect) Bond flick. Then they drove that damned invisible car on stage, leaving you going "Huh, what?", along with bad bluescreen/cgi wind surfing, at the giant villian ice castle, making it 40% of the dumbest bond movie. Then for the last 10%, it got good again. Not the worst Bond has done, but a pretty weak entry.
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a gorilla-suit list without 'Morgan: A Suitable Case For Treatment' is a list not worthy of attention
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License To Kill -> Never Say Never Again -> Quantum Of Solace -> Casino Royale -> Octopussy (Though I LOVE that Soundtrack; but it can only be as fast as that boring movie...)
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In the Arctic where it bends light off snow. In NYC, not so much.
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Goldfinger -> The Spy Who Loved Me -> The Man With The Golden Gun -> You Only Live Twice -> Goldeneye
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I don't think it deserves to be included in the Bottom Five. That honour should belong to The World Is Not Enough!
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"If you only knew her like I do."<p> What other movie takes a simple gorilla suit gag to actually make a socio-political point?<p> That scene should be included on the list.
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for Live and Let Die.
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You're probably right. My secret shame: after being browbeaten a year or so ago about this, I *still* haven't seen MORGAN. I promise to remedy this soon.<br><br>And I inexplicably missed GORILLA AT LARGE when it played at the American Cinematheque's 3-D Fest. Pretty heartbroken about that. Hopefully, there's another big 3-D retrospective on the horizon.<br><br>Thanks for the suggestions!
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Can't put my finger on why, but it felt different to all the others. Why was Bond even after "The Man" (Scaramanga - was that his name?)? I don't recall him trying to take over the world, just shooting people in a hall of mirrors on his island. Perhaps I'm just imagining this, but did they insert a Kenneth Williams-esque sound gag when the car cleared the river while spinning 360 degrees?
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Really is MUCH worse than the silly, but enjoyable Die Another Die. Just tried to watch it again over the holiday, and it still manages to be equal parts draggy and nonsensical.
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First Bond I saw in the cinema, thus much love for that movie. And it wasn't a straight remake of YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (unlike MOONRAKER or SPY WHO...)
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another YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE rehash, and perhaps the only Bond movie with too much action in it.
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You mean Joe Don Baker? Any movie site worth its salt would ban your account for not knowing Joe Don Baker. ;)
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... MI-6 receives a gold bullet with "007" etched into it, so they believe that Scaramanga has been hired to kill Bond.<p> This turns out not to be true, but as far I know it is never revealed who sent the bullet to MI-6.
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1) Horrible, horrible dialogue.<p> 2) A silly concept for the villain. He can't feel pain. That shouldn't mean his body cannot be damaged!!! It just means he doesn't feel the pain. Basically, he has leprosy. Last time I checked, leprosy doesn't make you an invulnerable super-villain.<p> 3) Denise Richards.<p> Change those three things, and it could have been an awesome Bond movie.
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Cant recall if thats the exact title of the movie,but features a truly mad gorilla suited baddie.As for the peeps who mentioned the 1976 King Kong,I would suggest you check out the awesomely funny Japanese Kong movies like King Kong Vs Godzilla or King Kong Escapes.The most cheap,moth-eaten,dog eared gorilla suits you ever saw.
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When I read the title of the article I knew there was no way #1 couldn't be the costume chase scene from The Pink Panther. When scrolling through I was getting kinda scared but lo and behold there it was... Classic!
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Does that count?
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It's not a movie, but a first-season episode of LA Law had what I regard as one of the best gorilla-suit scenes. Harry Hamlin dresses in a gorilla suit to get close to Susan Dey and profess his undying love; she blows him off. Later, a gorilla-suit hands her some flowers. Having changed her mind, she throws herself in the gorilla's arms and goes on for five steamy minutes about what she's going to do with him. She pulls off the costume head to reveal a 17-year-old kid that HH had hired to deliver the flowers. His only response: "WOW!!!!!"
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No one can comment on gorilla suits in any medium without reading Don Martin's classic comic "National Gorilla Suit Day." *zoot* AAARRGH!
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They seem to have lost the second half of the 3-D print. So the Gorilla keeps running at the audience for no discernible reason.
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They do reveal it. I'm pretty sure it was Octopussy.
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You'd think Rupert Murdoch would make a GREAT bond Villain. Go figure.
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Was played by the great British Improvisational actor Steven Berkoff.
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If only for the evil bubble machine he uses.
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...Quantum of Solace was truly a flaming pile of shit. Diamonds Are Forever, for all its flaws, is far superior. For one, it had Connery, which makes if better automatically, and also the smoking hot Jill St. John. 'Nuff said.
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The one I am referring to is indeed Joe Don Baker. Goldeneye was the only decent Brosnan Bond movie. The rest were utterly forgetable. I can never remember much of "For Your Eyes Only" either, but for Bond's car exploding in an alpine village when someone tried to break into it with an axe. Should make is mandatory on all vehicles.
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The gorilla sequence from Cabaret deserves a second look:<p> http://tinyurl.com/y9b55de
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Scaramanga sent the gold bullet to get Bond off his original assignment - locating the solar-flux-mcguffin thingy. Which Scaramanga had. And therefore he sent the bullet to get bond to drop the case, even though it caused him to go after Scaramanga to stop the man who had the thingy in the first place, which he didn't want bond to get. Easy to follow, right?
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Jan. 4, 2010, 3:37 p.m. CST
It doesn't matter. The rotating-car-jump stunt alone ...
by Royston Lodge
... is worth the price of admission.<p> Heh heh heh...
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Moore looked like a fucking MUMMY in AVTAK. It was acutely embarassing to see him limping through that movie. But even if Moore were a dece younger, the movie blows ass anyways. Grace Jones...?!<BR><BR>Kick-ass theme song, though.
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How can you possibly fuck up nearly-naked chicks dancing around on the big screen? <p> They managed to do it in AVTAK!
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...a typical example of a genuinely well-staged stunt in a Moore-era Bond flick utterly RUINED with some asinine bit of lowbrow humor (in this case the absurd slide whistle sound cue tracked over the footage). Remember Jaws FLAPPING HIS ARMS when his parachute didn't open in Moonraker? That's right out of a fucking Road Runner cartoon. NOT BOND.
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Reminds me of the stupid beach boys song in the background during the awesome snowboarding scene in AVTAK. The music ruins an amazing scene. (Remember, at the time nobody know what the hell "snowboarding" was. Tom Sims himself did the stunt work.)
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Dr Kelso is all pissed about Halloween shenanagins, till he shows his gorilla hands on the drive home.<p>Sorry about Octopussy, but grampa Bond sucked in that too.
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Jan. 4, 2010, 4:16 p.m. CST
It was nice to see Jaws make a comeback in Sherlock Holmes
by cookylamoo
Even if he did speak French.
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...and get shit for this, I know. But "Never Say Never Again" is in my top 5. I know, it's a remake (kind of), but it had some pretty cool scenes/action sequences: The hostage scene at the beginning that turns out to be an elaborate simulation, a believably older Bond being forced into a healthclub to lose weight by M and yet still kicks the assasin's ass seduces his nurse, the follow-cam of the two intercontinental missles as they fly across the landscape, the exploding pen and motorcycle scene, the wikedly hot evil chick on water skis, the videogame showdown "Domination of the World," and, of course, Connery's final bow (with a wink at the end). Oh yeah, and Kim Bassinger as a Bond girl. That one holds a special place for me.
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"Unfaithfully Yours" - that mess of a remake with Dudley Moore and the scrumptious Nastassia Kinski - There's a bit near the end (during orchestral performance) where Dud is for some reason in a gorilla suit, gets trapped outside the theatre/hotel on a balcony - and it starts to piss with rain - and he just looks up mournfully as the first drops hit him. Only laugh in the whole movie.
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beaks, you named yourself after a guy that gets anally raped?!!? WHat the fuck iS IT WITH YOU AND RAPE?!!!!
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Terrible, Terrible film but it explains what became of Bruce Boxleitner. Has about 90 total seconds of fake King Kong.
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Ernie Kovacs never gets the recognition he deserves.
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Seeing Bond driving around Bangkok in a Matador (Ambassador? whatever) partly killed MWTGG for me ... that and the above-mentioned slide whistle gag, and let's not forget (though we'd like to) the stupid stereotypical Southern sheriff on vacation in Bangkok with his corn-pone, Dukes of Hazzard "comedy relief." IIRC, he was in another Bond movie too.
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Replacing Blofeld with the guy from Rocky Horror (who is a good character actor but does not project a lot of Blofeldian menace) was a bad move and began the devolution of Blofeld in the series into comic relief. The over-the-top, ridiculous faggy stereotypes Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint didn't help much. Connery looking tired and bored killed the rest of the film.
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There's actually a scene in it that if you frame by frame, you can see the gorilla suit head coming off before the cut.
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Is better than quite a lot of Bond movies, namely For your eyes only, octopussy, a view to a kill, living daylights, licence to kill, and certainly better than the last two lifetime channel dingleberry additions.
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Paul Gleason's delivery of "Fuck off" in TRADING PLACES when he's on the phone is pure unadulterated fried-gold genius.
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I did not hate DAD, and it did have that kick ass Bond captured/tortured opening sequence, which was unlike anything ever seen before in a Bond flick. But you are correct, it was all downhill from there. <p>The saving grace though, was that Brosnan - as he had shown in TWINE (heh), really was nailing the Bond character.
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Moonraker was the closest I came to hating a Bond flick. Just an unconscionable and truly awful attempt to cash in on Star Wars. <p> They even pussified Jaws. <p> That movie is pure excrement.
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Made the film just about worthwhile.
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Shut the bloody hell up.
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As a 7 year old I loved it. Now though, awful. Jaws surviving the break up of the space station and crash landing on Earth? C'mon.
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Jane Seymour really hasn't aged that much. It will be preserved forever as a baseline when it comes to judging plastic surgery.
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I thought she was at least a decade older. Quick non-sequitor: I was in the Forbidden Palace in Beijing back in 2001 and the guided tour was by Rog himself. Apparently Brian Blessed now does it. Not to take away from Brian, but you don't get the same impending sense of a ninja attack as with Rog.
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If she has had work done, it is very minimal. <p> She was breathtaking in her youth though. I don't blame Yaphet for being pissed that Bond hit it before he had a chance to. But how the fuck could you leave a piece like that untouched? <p> There was a weird almost incest like vibe that came from those two as well. He said something about 'when you were supposed to be touched I would have done so just like I did with your mother'. Weird shit in a weird voodoo movie. <p> Moonraker just pisses me off even thinking about it.
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My. God.
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The 5 worst: A View To a Kill Moonraker (which I loved as a kid) License to Kill (un-Bond-y) The Man with the Golden Gun The World is Not Enough (Denise Richards as the world's least believable nuclear physicist, Christmas Jones) With that being said, I still like all of them in different ways.
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even if your following Edgar Wright, who I also didn't realize was gay.
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Film was great, but the VHS and DVD covers look like shit...hiding a true gem of a film.
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The ape suit with the diver's helmet. Nuff said. http://farm1.static.flickr.com/190/470097672_b13fc40f6a.jpg
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One of the few films to imply the villain was raped by a gorilla.
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Death by Dobermans? Wrist rocket-launcher? Hot evil astronaut chicks? Giant snake? Goodhead?<p>Moonraker is awesome, pigeon double-take and all.
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"I couldn't fuck a gorilla."
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Coke all over my keyboard thanks to you sir. You'll get my bill.
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The talking silverback, priceless. "Amy sad."
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because it was supposed to be an actual ape, not a man in an ape suit. If that were to qualify then where are The Three Stooges who created the genre?
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I call BS! You hear me Beaks, BS!!! Two words: Thumper and Bambi.
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Jan. 5, 2010, 12:58 p.m. CST
Stabby: There's no such thing as a WRONG opinion, but . . .
by Royston Lodge
. . . your opinion is WRONG.<p> Heh heh heh . . . <p> I kid because I love!
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... The Fourth Protocol.<p> If you haven't seen it, there's something wrong with you.
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Skydiving opening where he goes out chuteless, Jaws and Bond meeting for the first time since the last movie with a smile, then the amazon boat chase with the classic 007 theme, museum fight, etc. etc.
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Not on my Top 5 - but well made. I love that one, too!
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FORGET SCHManiel SCHMAIG! <br> 'Nuff said!
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Daniel Craig!
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... and shitty Bond movies, at that.<p> Fuck Clive Owen. Overrated, sez I.
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Jan. 6, 2010, 11:16 a.m. CST
you forgot the mother of all gorilla movies...APE 3D!
by thundercleese98
I emailed you, Beaks, but the youtube trailer is pretty awesome: http://www.youtube.com/user/clevelandcinemas ah I LOVE this film.
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If you want to see the film, they have it at Amazon in regular and 3D form. Wouldn't recommend 3D home-viewing, however. :(
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I'm a hard-core, old school, raised-in-the-60s-on-Sean-Connery-and-Ian-Fleming James Bond fan, but I've got to admit that Beaks is right: the quick shot of the gorilla-suited Roger Moore checking his watch is a genius bit of non sequitur sight gag. <p> I don't think the movie itself sucks that badly -- although it definitely belongs in the lower 50 percentile. It's actually kind of schizophrenic in its veering between serious Cold War concerns and buffoonish comedy. I've always thought of it as a paen to Victorian-age adventure fiction; hell, the India of OCTOPUSSY still looks like the days of the raj! It's got steam trains and hot air balloons; exotically-armed dacoits and thugee; swordfights and knife-wielding assassins. The titular character is the head of "the Octopus Cult" (SHE Who Must Be Obeyed?), allied with the evil Afghan prince-in-exile. Screenwriter George McDonald Fraser, author of the "Flashman" series, really lets his letch for Kipling-esque adventure run free in this film. <p> THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN does deserve its crappy reputation, I think. However, it always struck me as a bad James Bond movie with a very good one trapped deep inside, trying to get out. <p> All the elements were in place: a global cat-and-mouse game (to the death) between 007 and the world's most expert hitman is an excellent story idea for a Bond movie. It allows for any number of action set pieces and/or nerve-tingling suspense scenarios, along with the great travelogue elements that are a hallmark of the series. Christopher Lee As Francisco Scaramanga was one of the greatest casting strokes they've ever accomplished; Maud Adams as the "sacrificial lamb" Bond girl was one of their finest casting "discoveries." The locations selected for the story were wonderfully Bondian: Beirut, Hong Kong, Macau, and Thailand. Roger Moore was in his physical prime. Kept stripped to its bare-bones premise, this could've been a classic. <p> Sadly, the decision was made to layer a MacGuffin chase on top of the death hunt plot, and to inject physical comedy sight gags and funny characters into the plot. Roger Moore, when left to his own devices, is always going to seek the comedic path; his clowning and mugging here tilt the whole picture into the realm of silliness. Perfect for the kids at the time, I guess, but hard for us teenagers brought up on the Fleming novels and Terence Young films. Personally, I've always hated the notion of remaking the earlier films, but if there was any one that could use it, TMWTGG is it. <p> IMHO, of course...
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That guy can get a man in a gorilla suit into anything. I'm surprised Akeem didn't have Zamunda gorillas as waiters.
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