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Harry's DVD Picks & Peeks - Last wk of 2009: Paranormal Activity, 9, JENNIFER'S BODY, FACING ALI & more!!!
Hey folks, Harry here - ya know – don’t expect a lot this week, it is the last week of the year, and those always seem to go out with more of a whimper than a bang, but there’s a few cool things on this very short list. As usual the pics and titles link to Amazon, where if you feel so inclined, you’ll help keep this column going or at the very least, you can learn more about the product in question. This is it, the last DVD column of 2009! Well… maybe.
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
I absolutely, unapologetically love PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. Why? Because I love that film can be made for next to nothing, and it can be made for a half billion dollars – and at the end of the day, I can love both. I like, “idea” horror, where it isn’t about gore and torture, but things that go bump in the night. I’ve watched PARANORMAL ACTIVITY twice since I’ve gotten the Blu-Ray. Once by myself. And once with Yoko. Both viewings were great. By yourself, late at night, you’re the only one awake, our dog, Rosy walking around, but then that thing in my kitchen that knocks happens and instead of taking me out of the movie, it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It got to me. But watching it with my wife is the best. She seriously asked me tonight, “Do you think playing PARANORMAL ACTIVITY – that we might’ve invited something into our house?” HOW AWESOME IS THAT? See, you can’t get that out of a high energy blood & guts film with professional actors. It’s the weird tiny films, with no resources – where the filmmakers sit around and think, “Ok, I have no money. Well, how can I scare me with no money?” and they begin solving those questions with ideas, not with cash. Now – about the Blu Ray. They have the theatrical cut and the “original unseen ending” which is just the blackest black ending I’ve seen in a while. But the theatrical ending works better I feel, because it kinda has a wink to it. And the wink tells you, its ok. It is just a movie after all. With this other ending, there’s a chance you’d leave just twitching and thinking how you might not want to revisit that. Personally, I get the feeling we’ll watch this a bit. I also think, in some ways this film’s rather phenomenal success might be as influential or more than AVATAR – just simply because, seeing a $15k movie pull in over a $100 million… And this Blu Ray is going to sell like crazy I bet. That said, trying to make one of these… isn’t easy at all. You have to do something that strikes universal chords. This made a regular modern home scary. That’s cool.
9
The first time I saw this film, I didn’t care for it much at all. Watching it at home, I liked it much more. I think in the theater I was just disappointed that it wasn’t as great as the other animated films I saw this year, and when I brought it home – I saw it as a different film altogether. It played like a future fable, and suddenly the character depth I longed for wasn’t as important. This is a beautiful film. But in the end, the classic cartoon PEACE ON EARTH handles the story a bit better and more emotional, in about 70 less minutes. Here’s the cartoon:
JENNIFER’S BODY
I still haven’t seen this. Out of this week’s releases – it is the only release I wasn’t sent. SO I guess I’ll be picking this up later today. But here’s what you get on the disc:
• Audio Commentary with Director Karyn Kusama and Writer Diablo Cody (Theatrical Version)
• Audio Commentary with Director Karyn Kusama (Extended Version)
• Deleted Scenes (BD Exclusive)
◦ Dead Boys
◦ Jennifer Check Is Gross
◦ Needy Confronts Jennifer
◦ Who's Cindy Crawford?
◦ Needy Faces The Band
◦ Ass, Gas or Grass…
• Gag Reel (BD Exclusive)
• Jennifer's Body: The Dead Pool (BD Exclusive)
• Video Diaries (BD Exclusive)
◦ Megan Fox and Johnny Simmons
◦ Amanda Seyfried
◦ Diablo Cody
◦ Dan Dubiecki
• Megan Fox Is HOT (BD Exclusive)
• Megan Fox “Peer Pressure” PSA (BD Exclusive)
• Fox Movie Channel Presents ‘Life After Film School' With Writer Diablo Cody (BD Exclusive)
Digital Copy (Extended Version)
A PERFECT GETAWAY
I really liked about 3/4s of this movie, and then it made me want to flip it off. That said, I won’t say what set me off, I figure if you NetFlix this sucker, you’ll either go along, completely happy with where the film goes, or all of a sudden you’ll scream BULLSHIT at the screen and get angry at the movie. That said, the film is totally worth checking out for Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez. They’re fantastic.
CARRIERS
Now this? This I really liked for about 9/10ths of the film. And my problem is so small, that I have no problem fully recommending checking out CARRIERS. First off, as a “end of the world” style film that harkens back to OUTBREAK or THE HOT ZONE’s scenario, but centering on two brothers and their girls (kinda) as they try to make it to a clear area where they have a chance to survive. They have hard and fast rules to live by, but man… there’s a character in this film that I just hate, and you’re supposed to hate them for their selfish, stupid, moronic, cuntish behavior. I love how HARD this film is. It is a terrible situation to imagine and explore. Let’s hope this sort of shit never ever happens. Cuz I think life could probably be a lot like what you see here. This is a film that deserved a national release in the wake of STAR TREK, as Chris Pine shows here that his Kirk was not a fluke – and that he’s got genuine charisma and presence on screen. I am a big fan of this one.
FACING ALI
ABSOLUTELY AWESOME! Loved it! If you were a boy in the late sixties through the seventies… like me, you probably worship at the Muhammad Ali altar. I remember watching all his fights from 77 forward and I remember crying and being depressed when Holmes destroyed him. For me, I always wanted to see Ali vs Bruce Lee. Because after Ali beat Superman, I knew the only guy that couldn’t possibly lose to Ali was Bruce Lee. But he was dead. Which I thought and still think, sucks big time. Anyway, watched this wonderful documentary tonight. This is a retelling of the ALI story through the eyes of some of his greatest opponents. Shot on the RED system, the film is gorgeous. They talk to Chuvalo, Cooper, Foreman, Frazier, Holmes, Lyle, Norton, Shavers, Spinks & Terrell. Each man’s story and interview adds so much to the men Ali faced, as well as their reverence for Ali that they expressed. Ken Norton’s story destroyed me. Frazier’s shook me and fuck, I just want to make a film out of Shavers. But win or lose, these men respect Ali and acknowledge why he is indeed The Greatest – and that’s something I didn’t necessarily expect. In addition, the restoration work they did to the fight footage… well, it’s the sort of thing that makes you hope somebody goes through and does this process to those entire fights. I’d buy a dvd of each.
PRINCESS OF MARS
Ok, I didn’t get sent this either, but this is a train wreck that I can’t possibly resist. I’m hoping for, at best, 70’s era Burroughs film work, and I know it’ll miss that bar by a mile, just from the cover alone. But I have to admit – if this were porn, it would be great porn, or at least then there’d be fucking.
NUNS OF SAINT ARCHANGEL
I’m a sucker for Nunsploitation, so I put this on the second I got it, knowing nothing about its history. That said, there’s some amazing Nunsploitation films that are not only hot, but incredible mindfucks. This isn’t one of those. It is, however a bit better than a simple foray into the nunsploitation genre. When I went to pull up the credits for the film, the IMDB reviewer, ‘matthewscott8’ wrote a really strong piece about the film, that I would have to say I completely agree with. He compared the film to Ken Russell’s THE DEVIL – and if you know Russell’s amazing film, that knowledge will better prepare you for this movie than any review that anyone could write. If you don’t know Ken Russell’s THE DEVIL… find that film first – then watch these two as a double feature of erotic subversion. GOOD STUFF.
Well, I know there isn’t much for this final week of the year. Next week isn’t that amazing either, but I’ll be here to cover it just the same, here’s what it’ll comprise: CHUCK 2nd Season, THE FINAL DESTINATION, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU, CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS, The Complete Bakshi MIGHTY MOUSE: NEW ADVENTURES series, SUPERFRIENDS Season 1 Vol 1, THE GREEN BERETS Blu, RIDING GIANTS Blu, TRUCKER, Elvis Presley Gladiators: The 1974 Elvis Karate Legacy Project!!!, IRON MAN: ARMORED ADVENTURES Vol 2, DOGTOWN AND Z-BOYS Blu and that’s it. There’s fun stuff there, but hopefully the year will get much better from there.
• Audio Commentary with Director Karyn Kusama and Writer Diablo Cody (Theatrical Version)
• Audio Commentary with Director Karyn Kusama (Extended Version)
• Deleted Scenes (BD Exclusive)
◦ Dead Boys
◦ Jennifer Check Is Gross
◦ Needy Confronts Jennifer
◦ Who's Cindy Crawford?
◦ Needy Faces The Band
◦ Ass, Gas or Grass…
• Gag Reel (BD Exclusive)
• Jennifer's Body: The Dead Pool (BD Exclusive)
• Video Diaries (BD Exclusive)
◦ Megan Fox and Johnny Simmons
◦ Amanda Seyfried
◦ Diablo Cody
◦ Dan Dubiecki
• Megan Fox Is HOT (BD Exclusive)
• Megan Fox “Peer Pressure” PSA (BD Exclusive)
• Fox Movie Channel Presents ‘Life After Film School' With Writer Diablo Cody (BD Exclusive)
Digital Copy (Extended Version)
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Dec 29, 2009 2:51:05 AM CST
Not to be a hard-ass, or anything. . .
by danielplainviewonvacationinboston
But how can "9" be 90 minutes too long if it is only 79 minutes long in the first place? That is some serious space-time continuum tom-foolery right there, it is. Yeah, though, a pretty weak week overall. Looking forward to picking up Paranormal Activity.
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You longed for character depth in '9', but you praised the characters in Avatar?
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...to cash in on Avatar. I should have seen a Barsoom movie coming. Brilliant, you fuckers.
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Why the hell didn't it play in 3d anywhere? Maybe since the bluray 3d standard has been agreed on now we'll someday see this in 3d. The trailer in 3d looked amazing.
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Are you sure that you aren't confusing '9' with Avatar?
I thoroughly enjoyed 9. It was an original twist on a familiar tale. the animation was first-class - the scenes where the main character is being constructed blew me away. -
That was the scene in "9" that blew me away. It was beautiful, haunting, and intense.
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Sorry, folks, the crazy interwebs are acting up again.
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At least with regard to the characters. The world is so haunting and disturbing that once Elijah Wood gives life to one of the sock people, it loses something. Same with all the voice actors, who are good (Especially Crispin Glover) but it could have played out silent and been BRILLIANT!
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"...it is the only release I wasn't sent." Does this mean people send you almost every new release for free?
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Haven't seen "Jennifer's Body", but the interview that you guys posted with Karyn Kusama suggested an unusually intelligent filmmaker, so that would render it worth checking out. Also, I guess I'm one of the few who enjoyed "Aeon Flux".
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That's standard policy for critics. I'm assuming it's rare for the internet, but he is Harry Knowles.
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...but the backlash (which will start any minute now) has gotten way more annoying then the fact that this cheap little Blair Witch knockoff made an assload of cash. So the guys who made this movie are rich and you're not. Get over it.
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Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The people on both sides of almost anything are about equally stupid. I didn't see the movie because it looked like shit, but at least I didn't go just to complain about it. I saved that level of hatred for Epic Movie.
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... it was popular. There is a large number of people who, for some strange reason, are sickened when films succeed. Especially if those films have the audacity to launch an advertising campaign! The movie was no masterpiece but I'm glad it did well because it was done cheaply, with a good concept, wasn't a remake/sequel and it relied on people using their imaginations... well, those of us who still have one.
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Dec 29, 2009 4:03:41 AM CST
What LastOf/ just said is 100% correct.
by danielplainviewonvacationinboston
It is this insane prideful attitude of "well, that did good! But I friggin hate it! I could do better!" even though they will never accomplish the same success.
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...there's nothing i even want to watch, let alone buy!
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...does not make it good either. A mediocre movie that makes half a billion dollars is still dull crap whether it cost $250 million to make or $2500.
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Have a thing for horror movies (good or bad) and hoping that my low expectations for JB might make me enjoy it a little more than I normally would.
"9" did look interesting from the trailers and Coheed and Cambria's music. Also looks like it could be Little Big Planet: the Movie.
I liked Paranormal Activity but don't know if I can see myself wanting to buy the bluray release. -
And it was sad to see this legend been beaten by guys he would of whupped in his prime. In the 80's I saw all of the live fights on ITV in England, Hagler, Sugar Ray and Hearns and Tyson when he was at his destructive best. But now its all SKY and PPV, which has taken alot way from all sports, the average person cannot see these events now. Which is saddest of all.
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Dec 29, 2009 5:53:35 AM CST
"Princess of Mars" inspired James Cameron's "Avatar"? LOLOLOL!!
by mike_d
my belly hurts
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which of course means apologies are in order..Harry just doesn't want to discuss the flaws because it wont get him set visits, etc etc.
Don't get me wrong, i didnt mind Paranormal Activity, but i laughed at the end..it was fucking goofy..its a few scary moments mixed in with some retardedly bad film making...but Harry suggesting it could be as influential as Avatar is just fucking stupid...really, really stupid.
Blair Witch changed what? It led to more shit like this...thats all.
It wont make Hollywood one more bit more or less adventurous or more included to put some money in other smaller creative horror films. -
amazing how intelligible so many of our posts are considering we have no editing...rather embarassing for ole Harry though.
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Actually Cameron has admitted that AVATAR was inspired by PRINCESS OF MARS along with other turn of the 20th century works like SHE. Another period when colonialism was being frowned upon and was being called out as such. It was also an era of the noble invincible White man in novels, like TARZAN, JOHN CARTER, ALLAN QUATERMAIN, CARSON, etc...
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But don't bother seeing it if you're one of those people who compare every dark teen movie to Heathers and only every talks about how nothing can ever be as good as Heathers and how Heathers was so revolutionary and blah blah blah. I get it. Heathers was a real trailblazer back in the day. That doesn't mean somebody else can't make a movie that touches on some of the same themes and not be good too.
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...and have heard nothing about the story, but judging from the trailer, I'm guessing the twist in the last 1/4 is that the couple (or person) whom you think is the good couple is actually the murderous couple (or person). Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn.
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Dec 29, 2009 7:05:32 AM CST
It's not that the characters shouldn't have spoken in 9...
by nasty in the pasty
...it's that 1.) the dialogue just wasn't very good ("I started this...and now I'm going to *end* it!"), and 2.) the talented cast assembled for the film weren't especially good VOICE actors (John C. Reilly was especially bland). The film's haunting visuals and exciting, scale-model action sequences made it a worthwhile film to see, but if the characters *had* to speak, I just wish the dialogue and quality of the voice acting were better. Still, a dark, PG-13 animated feature was a breath of fresh air in this day and age, and 9 stands alongside a number of other films in the best year for creative animated features in recent memory.
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...maybe you've only seen the pan-and-scan version...
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If I had known THAT, I would have been first in line to see it. I LOVE me some quality B-movies! Come ON, Christopher Lambert is one of my heroes... ditto Rutger Hauer. I lurve me some taasty cheese! Shit. This changes everything.
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I'll Definitely Rent It Blaze One And Check It Out.i want to see paranormal activity for myself to see whether or not it's worrth the hype.one good thing i read that came out of it was that a new division of the studio will allow films to be made at $100,000 budget after the success of pa.so hopefuly will get some new up and coming talent out of this
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MR. OWL HAS A SNACK BEFORE TRANSLATING THE TEXT. {g} (Okay, that film so blatantly cheats in order to deliver its moral; and worse, probably counts as flagrant irresponsibility, considering Hitler had just invaded Poland and the Czechs. But I do appreciate the sentiment, in principle. {s})
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That's a 7000% profit margin.
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That's a 700,000% profit margin....not counting promotional costs.
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Every week now, there are "missing" blu-rays. You think maybe Harry people are tired of your schtick and have realized they don't have any obligation or even reason to send you free stuff? Your name is falling off the lists. Same with set visits. This bothers Harry, which is why he keeps mentioning it every single week. Expect that the more this happens the louder Harry will get about it, and the faster his name will fall off those lists.
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was weird. I felt no fear during the movie, but had to sleep with my lights on and got frightened by every little noise the first night I was home alone after it. I even jagged myself as a distraction and that didn't even help me get to a point of feeling relaxed. Which was weird since I was not feeling the slightest bit scared by the movie. So was it scary? I still have no idea.
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Sure, the twist was a bit predictable, but compared to a twist in something like ORPHAN (She's a fucking midget! You're welcome, those of you who were on the fence about seeing it.), it's borderline-genius. I fully recommend it.
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is the idea of taking a completely lazy story, wrapping it in a gimmick, and then spreading some bullshit word of mouth crap. It doesn't say a lot about audiences that they get suckered by it either.
I wish I hadn't contributed to the box office.
Even more a sucker is any one buy this on blu-ray. HDV is barely HD, so you're not getting anything pretty here.
I can't wait to see the bins of this movie a year from now, stacked high, much like Blair Witch, cause people will realize that it's rather boring after a couple watches. -
not much this week worth owning, i felt Jennier's body was not as good as the orginal storyline i hasd read 2 years ago, i hear there may be a sequel and i would love to showcase my ideas for the franchise
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It was one of the best comedies this year. No way you can call that movie of kids movie. Though the pixie stick colors can fool you. I enjoyed it more then Up.
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In the Paranormal Activity credits?
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I guess people needed the same fucking movie they've seen a million times before? I really enjoyed that film. Also it was nice to see a fun slasher thriller meant for adults not some PG shit starring some former Disney star.
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I was not aware that a movie that made no money was a franchise....guess it helps to have a big shot Hollywood "insider" here at AICN huh?
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...AICN torpedoed it...I had been looking forward to it, but figured that if this place doesn't like a lower budget animated SF who will? Then the New Yorker comes along and says that it all comes together and charms your pants off...now I'm looking forward to it again...
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...was a kind of ripoff of Massacre at Central High(which still hasn't hit dvd, dammitt!) I agree, I was so sad when Bruce Lee died. Wish he'd lived a few more years so he could've basked in light of superstardom that was right there for him. Would've ben cool seeing him on Carson hyping a new project(was scheduled to go on for Enter the Dragon right before he died). But mainly it would have been great to see where he would have taken the kung fu action film. I remember when they were discussing a movie with Bruce Lee and Elvis, which even if it wasn't any good, I bet would be al kinds of fun to watch now in that 70's blaxploitation way.
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...gave up after the 32nd use of "that said." That said, I love the site, Harry.
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Including two sentences beginning with 'That said' back-to-back! THAT SAID, I won’t say what set me off, I figure if you NetFlix this sucker, you’ll either go along, completely happy with where the film goes, or all of a sudden you’ll scream BULLSHIT at the screen and get angry at the movie. THAT SAID, the film is totally worth checking out for Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez. Well done Harold!
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Dec 29, 2009 8:56:50 AM CST
..."boy in the late sixties through the seventies… like me"...
by flickapoo
...Harry, like me you were a baby in the early 70's and a boy in the late 70's and 80's...
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Needs to check out Sex and Death 101. Really good raunchy adult comedy. One thats actually raunchy and funny something Apatow's films seem to be missing.
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Involving Steven Spielberg makes you wonder first which ones are true. He got a copy of the movie shelved it because he wanted to make a big budget version of it? If this is true how many other cool indie movies are just sitting around Berg's house? He told the director to change the ending. If this is true how many dreamworks films did he stick his fingers in? He is actually the director of the movie. If this is true how come Berg can't get half as good a performence from some ginormous star for one of his mega blockbusters? Also why didn't they use the Steven Spielberg PRESENTS tag?
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They come out with a ripoff for almost every major release. For some reason, The 18-Year-Old Virgin is the only one that interests me. A take on the Steve Carrell film, it's about a hot, stacked teenage girl who can't get laid. Just like in real life.
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I'm sorry name one horror movie that cost more then $20 million to make that was any good? I know this isn't what Harry was talking about. But horror really only works with it doesn't cost shit to make.
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Good man. Its a fun movie, also if you like Patton Oswald its his funniest performence. Its written and directed from the guy who wrote Heathers.
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...to overlap with all and any cool things in the known universe...but it doesn't.And that's OK. You still get to like Muhammad Ali...even if he didn't show up at your birthday party...
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You can drop the act. Why don't you just use your normal talkback handle from now on? The joke is old, man, old.
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Stop giving away free t-shirts with every action movie released?
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No arguing with me on this one, bitches.
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*SPOILERS**SPOILERS**FUCKING SPOILERS*I guessed the ending of this movie just over one minute into it! Seriously, if you're going to set up the premise of two people who are murderers and then posing as a couple DON'T start with a wedding video in which you don't show the bride and groom's faces and then cut to a couple practicing their new names.
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Is following the same pattern as Blair Witch, with a video rushed out 2 1/2 months after its theatrical release to strike before its forgotten. It'll do well on video, then be as promptly forgotten as Blair Witch. And seriously, Yoko thought that playing the video might curse your house with some spirit? No wonder she married you, what a gull-a-bull, to paraphrase Bugs Bunny.
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I'm not putting on any act. I'm lucky enough to work within the industry (in many departments but mostly scripts) and therfore i am privy to alot (and i do mean alot) of insider info on certian productions. But overall i'm a movie fan so i come here and i share spoilers because i know i'd want to hear the latest rumblings on my favorite productions if i were you guysand yes Jennifer's body is going to be a feanchise, now odds are it will be a direct to DVD franchise, but i've also heared that spike TV is considering a TV show based on the format
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I'll ignore your numerous spelling and grammar mistakes in an industry where that would be inexcusable, and give you an opportunity to prove yourself. I'll ask Harry to see where you've been posting from. For your sake, it had better be southern California. Posting from Des Moines is not going to help your story. Also, why don't you tell us some of the movies you've worked on? Let's see some of this great work.
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I by coïncidence saw the trailer for "Princess of Mars" (why did they cut out the pronoun?) on YouTube last night and it looked horrible. The Tharks all look like burn victims. The Traci Lords as the most beautiful woman of two worlds? No.Saw 9 in the movie house. It's not that good. Really great visuals, and some of the music is fun, but the story is so by-the-numbers (no pun intended) and aside from Christopher Plummer, the voice acting is blah. Years ago, at an animation festival, I saw the short that inspired the film, and that was really good. Too bad they had to expand the thing into a movie with bad dialogue and a weak, seen-it-before hero's story.
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I post from all over the world, it depends on where the shoot is. and as for a list of the movies i have worked on I think my resume clearly speaks for itself
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The work you did on my hash browns this morning was fucking amazing JettL93. No one rocks the deep frier like you.
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Jett. Don't want you poking or hurting yourself.
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still looks like a apocolyptic version of Sony's Little Big Planet PS3 game.BTW, hope everyone had a wonderful holiday last week. Yes, even the douches.
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If you're posting from London, Paris or Tokyo that might be forgiven... for now. But Des Moines, Baltimore, Newark or Biloxi? Probably not in the industry.
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i've given you so many scoops and never once have i asked for anything in return or special treatment (i even turned down a black box because i don't want to be labbeled as above you guys.And my computer does not have rounded edges, i'm allowed to use a real one
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i'll be in newyork later this week, mainly for some Oscer telecast duties but i figure i'll take in new years eve on the times square, If i can swing it i might even meet dick clark, i've always been a fan
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arguably the finest animated film this year. UP was 'technically' better but not as much fun, or freaky -those chickens !!!
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did JettL ever turn down a blackbox?? If not I'll assume everything that comes out of his mouth is horseshit.
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Yeah I fucking love the color scheme of the whole movie.
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although i can't agree that it was better then up it was still one of the best kids movies this year and as far as CGI cartoons go, it's a shame that a movie like monsters vs aliens got more attention then cloudy did
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Dec 29, 2009 11:13:22 AM CST
Eventually, we'll have whipped Harry into shape...grammatically
by wickedjester
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I don't think Cloudy was even a kids movie. It was just a silly Digital short comedy. It didn't fall into any of those LIFE LESSONS like all kids movies have to have. Unless they are saying, yeah go ahead and do whatever you want. Even if it destroyes everything.
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Seriously. Anyone who thought this was scary or had anything remotely approaching a decent, well told story is probably got some French in their bloodline. I don't care if this flick cost a car payment to make, that simply goes to show who horribly desperate Hollywood studios are for grabbing any independant flick they think is "fresh" and shoveling it out to the mindless droogs who pack theaters these days.
Paranormal Activity is the ultimate (crappy) home made shot on video movie. For those even curious at this point in seeing it who smartly avoided it in the theaters, think "Blair Witch" type of flick with one character always using the camera in this case to document his house's "haunting" where nothing happens for most of the movie except dumb little things like noises downstairs, shadows on the wall, hints of a ......OOooooooOOOooo, ghosty (or "demon" which I guess makes it even SCARIER!) finally leading to an idiotic finish that's straight out of a group of pre-teenager's pretend horror movie made with tehir parent's camera. The cast is basically just a young couple who seem to have lifted the dialog straight off "Cloverfield's" leads most of the time ("Oh Shit," "OMG!" etc etc). There's just a couple other minor characters including a utterly useless paranormal investigator who has no better function than to be a bit part for one of friends of the production.
The whole premise of someone who constantly has to pick up the camera (or leave it running on a tripod or laying on a table while they both talk) to "document" every single thing never works in these kind of flicks - from Blair Witch to Cloverfield to this bomb. It's a gimmick that calls attention to itself and ultimately wears down the viewer long before the movie ends. The one saving grace is at least the "filmer" in this movie has a steadier hand than the other examples so the vertigo quotient is lower, but the down side is there's many long, drawn out shots where the camera simply sits on a tripod or table, never moving while the characters drone on. The "shock" ending is the worst, most unimaginatively derivative climax I can recall seeing in any movie. Seriously, possessed chick makes big evil smile and lunges at camera - cut to black - roll credit?!?
I can't imagine the number of angry patrons wanting their money back during the theatrical run. I fast forwarded through big chunks of this turd and still felt like I suffered a home invasion robbery afterwords. Basically someone could make a 5 minute summery of this movie, post it on Youtube (the reduced online quality would probably benefit the overall "vibe") and that would be the perfect way to see this dud. I'd rate this steamer at about the same level as one of M Night Shamalamawhatthefuckhisnameis's childhood home movies seen on the extras for "Signs."
Movie history is riddled with hacks who've taken the do-it-yourself approach with varying degrees of success topped by the infamous Ed Wood. But Wood had *ideas* and his films, terrible though they were, were somewhat entertaining on some level even at their worst. "Paranormal Activity" is completely bereft of any original ideas, energy, pacing and filmmaker talent in front of or behind the (video) camera. -
...the joke seemed already played out by the end of the trailer.
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I found Cloudy with a chance to be a million times funnier then Year One? But seriously, you know the SNL digital short guys. Imagine if he did a cartoon movie. Then see Cloudy and see if you were right.
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...it isn't even in the running for Worst Movie Of The Year.That would be like be saying your home video of you banging the mail lady is The Worst Movie Of The Year.
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...but abusing me for laughing at YEAR ONE while drunk is like laughing at me for liking Mrs. FlickaPoo to use her Rhona Mitra voice during drunken sex.You don't bring that shit up in the cold light of morning. It just isn't done.
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Dec 29, 2009 11:28:26 AM CST
...did that simile work out? I'm not sure. Sounded better...
by flickapoo
...in my head.
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Until anyone here actually sees your resume, it isn't saying much of anything."i've given you so many scoops"How many of these innumerable "scoops" can be verified, have been proven to be true?
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Well I'm not really thinking about her voice when I think about her (unless you guys play a sort of Hollowman kinky thing). I tease you about Year One because I care. Hey I love I MEAN LOVE not just fleetingly like Not Another Teen Movie. And I don't even give a shit about half the movies it makes fun of, I think most of those jokes go over my head.
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After my own theatre experience, where at least a dozen teenage douchebags walked out of Paranormal, each and every one of them loudly interrupting the movie to say something like "This is such a stupid fuckin' movie" even though they were clearly just scared children- I'm gonna assume EVERY overly angry internet hater of that movie is another 15 year old with a sideways ballcap.
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To be fair, he did let us know that the McRib was coming back.
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...drunken enjoyment of YEAR ONE to kinky drunken sex...not sure I pulled it off tough...I quite enjoy the YEAR ONE abuse.Rhona Mitra has many fine qualities...but the voice is her finest.
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I had a meeting with Joel silver about 2 weeks ago and he asked me if i was interested in collaborating on a script based on the Mcdonald land characters, he's had the film rights for about 7 years and figures with the onslaught of boardgame movies hitting thw waves, the next possible path of franchise making is to go the route of Product mascots (as he put it, the product placvment is already there and these are established characters that still give you room to play around with because there's no character hsitory)now i don't know if i will take the gig, but i found it funny that series 7 mentioned mcdonalds because that one of the projects that is on my maybe list
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You fucking dare even hint at the fact that you are talking about the great character Grimace ever again. I will hunt you down and show you what a real McFlurry is.
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'cause that smug fucker deserves an excrement sandwich.
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Dec 29, 2009 11:51:24 AM CST
i didn't even know what a Mcflurry was - I had to look it up
by jettl93
thanks series 7 they sound prety good, haven't had the Mcdon's in a hell of a long time appearently ALOT of the menu has changedand by the way i likly will not take the mcdonalds land movie gig, next year is already too full, althought it would be nice to do sos i can see the smile on the kids faces
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The entire movie (and its trailer) were building it up like 9 was going to do some epic cool shit only he could do... which never happened.
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When you corner them in the dirty bathrooms and touch them? I wonder if you boss knows why you always take bathroom cleaning duty.
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Jokes about molesting kids is too far, i doubt anyone on this site would find that funny, claim i'm a fake all you want but making pedophile jokes is crossing the lineHarry can we get him banned for that?
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Sorry I guess that was a little too close to home for you. Sooo you are OK with inscest jokes, but not molestation jokes? Seems a bit unfair don't you think?
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correctly?
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Me neither.
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I think you hit a little close to home there. Nicely done. By the way, does anyone else find JettL93's persistence kind of disturbing? I mean, there's no way he doesn't realize NO ONE takes him seriously yet he keeps up the bullshit even though one of the writers on this site has clled him out and confirmed he's full of shit. It's like he gets off on being called a liar or something. Just bizarre. His lies even seem to be purpossly over the top to not even be believable. Weird.
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ignore a troll and he will go awayYour pedophile joke was just to far, thats not something to joke about, million of people have been the victims of it no doubt several Talkback members have had to suffer with itin their lives, for you to joke about it is disgustingYou can post whatever insult you want, but i am done responding to you aligations of me being a false profit, I know who i am and i know that the majority of Tb'ers enjoys by posts and the info they offer, i pitty you because you will never know love, you will never know what it means to be humanGoodbye sir, may what you said here today be the sorrow your soul is burdended with for the rest of the dawn of days
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Sooooo your just going to ignore yourself now?
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Is Jon Carter public domain? Or does the Burroughs estate just pimp it out to anyone? I know starting with Harry this project has had a bumpy road but does this SyFy-esque dross mean we won't see a real Carter movie for another decade?
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It's the attention. Good or bad, Jettl93 gets off on the attention. Oh, you poor, sad, lonely soul.
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Am I the only one interested in seeing her Gag Reel???
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i don't make posts to grab attention from anybody - this is why i turned down the offer of getting a black box i just find is funny that some people like Series 7 choose to call me a false profit even though i contribute more to discussion of film then most TalkbackersI ask my self is it time for a sabatical from AICN?
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Dec 29, 2009 12:14:55 PM CST
though i contribute more to discussion of film then most Talkbac
by series7
Really JettL??? REALLY.... YOU'VE GOT NO FUCKING CLUE. Just no fucking clue. But yeah, he does get off on the attention. All people who were molested as children do.
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It'll give more time to jerk off to yourself.
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I don't like to get personal here (aside from a critical moment with Massawyrm once) but you, sir, are amazing. You first got my attention when you started talking about how John Rhys-Davies complained about make-up on the set of "Last Crusade." Since then, it's been a wild ride of trolling and troll-baiting and absurd claims populated with the most preposterous spelling errors imaginable. Man, those typos—I don't know if they're part of your joke, just laziness on your part, or you're in such a hurry to reply to something that you hammer out a TB without even looking to see if the little dotted line shows up under words like "placvment". I know I've done some grammar boo-boos in the past, but sweet mother—yours blow my mind. What I'd really like to see someday is a TB filled exclusively by you and Lockesbrokenleg hashing it out. And then Dannygloversdickblood can stop by and be really angry, because I miss his vitriol. (The real Danny, not that milquetoast guy who puts a zero in for an O. And if that is the same Danny, I weep, because he's lost most of his piss and vinegar.)
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And arrogant but mainly, really, really lonely.
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The original John Carter books were printed around 1912 and have--sadly in this case--fallen into public domain.
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I'm pretty sure the books are public domain now. At least the first one. The John Carter film on Harry's list is by the same people who brought us such classics as "Transmorphers" and "Snakes on a Train."
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It never ceases to amaze me how these old "turn of the century" books that are now in public domain; don't get more movies made from them. Any low-budget filmmaker is free to make an HP Lovecraft movie anytime he/she so chooses. There just sitting there...waiting...FOR FREE!
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For god's sake, yes! Take time away from all these mean-spirited non-contributing trolls who don't understand your genius. You are ahead of your time and these insensitive morons just don't get it. You just...excuse me, . Yeah, Jett, take some time off from the site, check yourself back into the "Institute" and get back on your IV drip. Lockesbrokenleg did, and we're all better for it. Man up and follow his fine example.
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while yes they are there for anyone to take, a studio and most producers will not fun a movie based on a public domain character because if any potential franchise arises then the studio doesn't soley own the rights, i mean imagine if star wars or james bond was public domain, you wouldn't have one franchise every stidio would jump on the badwagon and make film with the characters, ad yes most studios will mimic a successfull film but with pub dom it can be an exact replica
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Dec 29, 2009 12:39:36 PM CST
I don't understand the hatred for JettL93
by christian_bale_trashed_my_lights
Let the guy be. He's harmless!
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As long as he is washes his hands before he makes my daily Big Mac, I'm cool with him.
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Main characters die, and you never know who or when that happens. For children, that's a scary movie.
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Yeah...whatever.
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AWWW THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE! GO AHEAD AND RUIN THE FILM FOR EVERYONE. HARRY BAN HIM!! PLEASE JUST BAN HIM BOO BOO!!!! WAAAAAAAA
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Do kids today even read their history books anymore ?Oh.
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i could tell you about 6 or 7 interesting stories that are leaking out of the wood, why haven't they been posted yet on AICN?What about the big captain america news, AICN didn't even post the pic of josh Lucas in costume, now it was pulled pretty damn fast but it was a good 5 hours before marvel threatened legal action
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Is still paying back the world the money he lost on Stealth. Captain America my ass.
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Just go outside, enjoy the sunshine, kiss a girl.
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When I was on location with the Jennifer's Body crew, Diablo was asking me for script advice. She wanted me to change some dialogue on set. I actually wound up directing a few scenes when the second unit director had the flu for a week. One night while on location, I was licking Megan Fox from head to toe in my hotel room and we discussed her character's changes after the possession. I'm now hard at work on the new Batman film. Looks like Megan may want to play Catwoman after all. I talked her into it one night while taking a bath together. She said she's do it only if I wrote the screenplay. Christopher Nolan agreed and now I'm hard at work on that story. I still like to take a break from my fabulous life and post on message boards. :-D
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and not that its anyone business, but i have been married for 28 years and am the father to 4 and grandfather to 2. I quite enjoy the life that my career has afforded me. What's your excuse?
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No you're not. You're just full of shit and that's it.
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TBer is sucked into the farce because they don't know better. I still wait for the day when ONE of his absurd "scoops" accidently turns out to be true and he hops on AICN proclaiming, " SEE! SEE! I told you Mark Hamil would make an appearance in Episode VII! I AM THE GOD OF SCOOPS! BOW BEFORE ME AICN!"
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and Jett's Joel Silver response was pretty impressive, unless the meds were just kicking in ...and...the...COLORS!!!!
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Its been on Blockbusters shelf for at least a week. Mostly a borefest
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I think that's what you call a happy accident
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Queued. Grazie, grazie.
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Then you are way past the age of someone who should be posting on here. Try faking another age....ohhh shit I can here the beeper you better go get dem fries before they BURN!
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JettL93 lives in Florida and is an usher at a theme park. This is exactly the kind of shit those guys talk.
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...I like to add movies like this to my queue and try to forget about them...It's like a little present for my future self...some shitty day you stroll out to the mailbox, and BANG!...Naked nuns brighten your day...good'ole past me, what a fucking guy!
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I may be missing thejoke but whats so impressive with the 5 minute response time to whathisface's mcrib remark. I actually prefer to reply sooner then 5 mins
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SAY IT!
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than his Batman 3 inside info.
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I always have werther's orginals in my pocket
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Sigh. Frick.
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ii'm writing a script about a grandfather, so i was trying to get into characterregardless my age is irrelevant, Jett is an idea and as we all know, an idea cannot age, therefore i was around in the dawn of man, and i will be around untill the last man is standing..only then will i vanquish a thought more mere then myself
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Dec 29, 2009 1:30:39 PM CST
"6 or 7 interesting stories that are leaking out of the wood"
by big jim
That just sounds dirty (and kinda gross)Watched "Generation Kill" a couple of weeks ago and thought Alexander Skarsgård could play a convincing Captain America. But would any studio dare hire a Swede (or anyone not born in the USA) to play Captain America? Could you imagine the uproar, besides just from fanboys, of having Captain America played by someone who isn't an American? Heads would explode.
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Dec 29, 2009 1:31:19 PM CST
JettL93 has infected wikipedia!
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Remember how JettL93 told us that Leo woukd be playing Jason Bard in the next Batman movie?It seems Jason Bard's wiki page has been updated recently. All hail JettL93; the bringer of scoops!
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I have no idead what the fuck you're trying to say with that last post. You are clearly fucking fruit loops, man.
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i don't control the flow of information i just try my best to channel it in the right direction. Once it's out there it's up for grabs for anyone to use
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Right there you fail. It's all downhill from then on.
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Can you not understand why so many doubt you? I am not saying I believe or not (although I tend towards not but that is not the issue right now), but understand, look at it from our point of view.You seem to have your hand in EVERY major Hollywood film, you take credit for many more things besides scripts (poster ideas is one I believe), every good idea in all big movies you seem to take credit for....are you following me, do you understand our doubt? Personally I cannot recall ever seeing info you claim to be inside info posted anywhere else except in these TB's, you would think if it was legitimate info we would see it sooner or later in mainstream media. That's not to say I have read every so called scoop you have ever posted because I have not. Am I asking for proof? Well I honestly don't know what you could say to prove who and what you are, I guess we either believe you or we don't. But try to understand you make some fantastic claims and it is just hard to believe a person so hardwired into the Hollywood system could and would take the time to post on here with a bunch of clowns like us. Honestly at this point I don't know what to think, sometimes I want to believe you , other times I think you are just clamoring for attention because some of the things you say I just have a hard time believing. If you didn't claim to be involved in, and to have written just about everything that comes out of Hollywood it would be easier to believe. But as I said earlier, there is really no way to prove to us the validity of your claims, we either believe you or we don't. Just try to understand why many here don't believe you.
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His hit count would fucking evaporate. Why would he do that. Hell, Harry probably IS JettL93 wouldn't surprise me one bit.
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about Jett we're just feeding the tiger.
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I'm picking it up on DVD for sure.
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Dec 29, 2009 2:07:33 PM CST
I actually wrote a script for a film called "Perfect Gateway"
by jettl93
it was about a family buying the right computer for their needs, suffice to say it did not sell
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Dec 29, 2009 2:11:55 PM CST
Funny, I wrote a script for a film called "Perfect Gateway"
by proziumjunkie
It was about getting snowed in at a stip club with a suitcase full of 1's and a kilo of blow...it didn't sell either.
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NO WAY! I've got some money. Lets make a deal.
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... Series 7, i loved the "WHAT"S MY NAME, BITCH". made me laugh. helps when you scream it in your head like you wrote it.
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Shit! I thought I was the only one!
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There's a hole on the side of your house?
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Silent Bob, we're goin to Hollywood!
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There is a script out their I'm backing about a guy who gets snowed in at a stip club with a suitcase full of 1's and a kilo of blow. I just got out of a meeting with James Spader. He isn't our first choice but his got the acting chops for this possible Best Actor winner role.
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But couldn't get the Tiger Woods endorsement..now no one will touch it.
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Seriously? We can produce a cheaply made soft porn flick about a particular group of people and call it a genre and be a "sucker" for it? Well then, I'm a sucker alskankingcrabfishermansploitation (the crabs use their claws to rip the clothes off of the busty crab boat beauties) and plumbersploitation (overweight female plumbers with butt and boob cleavage.
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this is the internet! It's not no one, it's noone. Get it right.
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Sorry...
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When a genre (end of world) film begins and ends with "8mm home movie footage", trying to elicit emotional nostalga...well, its trying to be something its not. Chris Meloni really should take a break from Law & Order more often, though. He's always good.
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we need a "guy", a doorman/bouncer, a bar manager, no less than 6 stippers, 4 or 5 random customers and a janitor(preferably a midget)
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It's public domain, although the Burroughs estate still holds a copyright on a copy of the names... "John Carter" and "Dejah Thoris", for instance. I _THINK_ that means you can't use those terms in the title of a product, but could as part of an adaption.
A few years ago, I wanted to make a game based on the book, because it was public domain... but the trademark thing held me back. But if these Asylum guys don't get sued, maybe I should give it a shot. -
..would almost be as bad as an american playing Sherlock Holmes. Oops, never mind. After reading some of the talkback on A Perfect Getaway, I went to blockbuster to rent it. Couldn't find it, asked the gal if they had Couples Retreat in and she said it wasn't out yet. Got all the way home before I remembered what the name of the fuckin movie was. Had to drive back feeling like an idiot. Live in Denver so had to watch out for the morons who don't know how to drive. But I got the movie and came home and got on the computer and damned if the first thing I see is some asshole giving away the ending. Ah, well, doesn't sound like it was that hard to figure out anyway. By the way, I think someone needs to learn to spell prophet.
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Handle the casting to me. The HOLLYWOODLAND BIG SHOT! I've already set up meetings with Brazzer, Bang Bros and Vivid.
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reach for the stars has always been my motto. your name will never echo in the halls of the universe unless 100 percent of the shots you don't take
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Can't be contradicting yourself now.
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Is calling Carter "JC" to circumvent copyright laws.
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Dec 29, 2009 2:48:16 PM CST
...filegumbo...Nuns-a-Poppin'!!! Nunsploitation on DVD!!...
by flickapoo
...an Amazon list for your viewing pleasure:
http://tinyurl.com/yjganfm -
However, I must insist on giving the lead stipper role to Lanny Barby. That's an executive decision!
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I like the concept. Do you need a big name director? I can give David Fincher a call for ya. We got to meet over that Myspace script and play a little WOW later anyway.
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So, who got there name at the end PA? Anyone here?
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I was on the fence about it, but a "free" ticket ($7.50 doesn't even cover an afternoon matinee these days, let alone a 3D one) enticed me to see it, and it was surprisingly witty, beautifully designed, and just plain funny. Plus, it made me HUNGRY as hell.
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Well after I have a meeting with Jesus and James Cameron discussing a possibly Bio pick, with Sam Worthington starring of course. And then a meet up with the ghost of Gianni Versace to discuss the upcoming wardrobe he is doing for one of my secret surprise mega mega hits (trust me you won't believe what I've got in store for this one). Then go on a lunch cruise with Paul Rudd, RDJ and JGL where we can get some alone time and really just let our feelings out. After that gotta stop in at McD's to see how my retarded step son JettL is doing having been moved up to the McFlurry station, already had one call today from his manager about him not being about to keep his hands out of butt. I feel bad for him, but with the money I make McD's doesn't care what he does just as long as he has no interaction with the customers, he's not really good with people. Finally gotta go meet with Paul Hogan about the upcoming Steve Irwin movie he is going to direct for me, again of course starring Sam Worthington. After that I got a conference call with Joel Silver and The Wachowski brothers to go over how we are going to get some of that lost Speed Racer money back. To cap the night off gotta have dinner with Nolan and we are gonna go over some new sketches I have of the new Bat Moped we are going to have in the next movie. I'll see if I can fit you in.
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Well of course my name is in the credits for PA. I helped write it, did the sound effects, lighting, and even was a stand in for Katie.
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You'll be free after lunch then? Oh, and when you see Jesus, tell him I want my copy of End of Days back. He borrowed like 5 months ago.
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I'll ask him but the dude is terrible about returning things.
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i don't think anyone would for that matter
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Dec 29, 2009 3:13:08 PM CST
Jett Lucas 1993, are you saying cameron's ego is too big
by proziumjunkie
to work with JESUS CHRIST?I kinda believe it. Sorry, I had to use your full name, I was slightly flabbergasted
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How was the catering?
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What did I tell you about using your new Google Phone DURING WORK! If you get fired again you are going to have to work at Wendy's! And we know how you feel about Wendy's! You better hope James doesn't see you disrespecting him like that. What happened last time you didn't address him as Sir? Thats right, back hand to the face. And you know what? I don't care your just my step son, if you don't treat Mr. Cameron with respect then by all means he's allowed to hit you.
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"your name will never echo in the halls of the universe unless 100 percent of the shots you don't take"Making incomplete sentences from incomplete thoughts is Harry's schtick.
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The catering on Paranormal Activity, was actually provided my step son's work at the time. Burger King. He would always bring it over, but I know him and he doesn't wash his hands so I always brought my own lunch. But didn't really care if the others got sick. We weren't there long it was a ten week shoot and I'm still surprised that the movie made any money. I'm only used to doing movies with a budget of 300 million or more. My buddy Tobey Keith told me that it would feel good to do a small movie, I think he was just trying to get me to help him with his film career and give him musical advice at the same time. I helped right his next single, its going to blow the 9-11 theme song AWAY!
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Me and Big Jim have discussed Your Shame- sorry, your stepson and he says if he makes eye contact with him one more time; he's going to lock him in the basement at Fox Studios and have Tom Rothman feed him curds and oats once a day from a dog dish.
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Dec 29, 2009 3:18:23 PM CST
I'm still trying to figure out how nun-on-nun sex isn't top issu
by scarywaitress
You call yourselves SHUT-INS, GEEKS, and NERDS? Turn in your cards, every last one of you.
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Dec 29, 2009 3:19:59 PM CST
That whole "don't dis the Ja-Cam" schtick would be funnier...
by scarywaitress
...if half the site weren't deadly serious about it.
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See this is why people do not believe you. I made a polite, true post about you and why people doubt you, and you completely ignore it, not any sort of response, but you wonder why people think you are full of shit. I was not rude, insulting or condescending in any way. You will respond to people who insult you, but someone makes a post with some sore of respect and you chose not to respond. This is exactly why almost no one believes anything you say. Point proven.
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I'll talk with my golf buddy Harvey Weinstein about the possibility of it. Maybe a Quentin Tarantino presents sort of deal. I know Kill Bill 3 still has a ways (i've been working on the script day and night, ITS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM!), so maybe he can help me get the ball rolling. Like I really need that, but QT is a fun guy to work with.
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nobody believes in God and his servants on earth these days so why sexualize them
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Two things: 1. There are actually a good deal of "fallen" ex-Christians that I know who still, in a knee-jerk, reptile-brain sort of way, would find the idea of religious servants serving each other pretty titty-lating... and 2. Actually, there are a WHOLE LOTTA believers out there who will be all "NO I CAN'T LOOK THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!" and will be watching through their fingers, like little kids who are scared of the movie they're watching (and not supposed to be seeing) and yet is unable to look away. For the rest of us... lesbian sex acts, great clothes, and stunning architecture. WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE??? Are you DEAD inside, people????
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NO WAY Weinstein is hauling his expansive self around a golf course, even on a cart. I always KNEW you were full of shit.
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otherwise I wouldn't be posting on here. that and the prozium kicked in early today.
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Yeah just got back from my meeting with Jesus and James, Sam was busy promoting the movie so he couldn't make it. I brought this up to him and Jesus thinks that this bio flick is just the sort of thing we need to kick start religion again. I'm also thinking since Tobey Keith is the heart of America that he would be great to sing the theme song? How did you guys like I see You??? Yeah I KNOW I KNOW I totally stole it from the Titanic song, man I wish I had some hand in that. I was too busy working on Mouse Hunt at the time, it sucked back then but helping secure Gore Verbinski for all three Priates films was one of the best things I've done and paid off a lot more in the long run. It's because of that that James wanted to work with me on Avatar.
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He says Shutter Island will Blow your mind, and maybe if you're good, score you some chicks.
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Well ssshhhhhh its sort of well known thing for insiders but Harvy Weinstein actually does just drive around the courses in something closer to one of those things in airports for handicap people. And pays a young have asian have white half black kid to play for him. Word is that the kid is getting really good and Harvey is looking to get him on the the golf circuit. Sucks playing against him though, my back swing isn't what it used to be.
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I'm glad your buddy likes it. I help secure the sets for that film, with drug money from the operation me and Charlie Sheen have going.
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sounds promising if a little sketchy. i guess it'll all come down to the marketing.
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I've got a lot of friends that are high up in the Religious game. I've met with the Pope on several occassions, even had dinner with him and several cardnials. So I think we are gonnna have the first ever Pope blessed movie, he is hopeing that it brings together the world and units us all. You know typical religious nut job bullshit like that.
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no, not the blow, the biopic. Jesus gets snowed in at a club with a bunch of excommunicated nun strippers! Mary Magdalene is the club manager and Saint Peter is the doorman/bouncer.
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HOLD THAT THOUGHT! TO THE HOLLYWOOD MOBILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dec 29, 2009 3:54:39 PM CST
Can anyone recommend a good movie thriller to me?
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
I'm in the mood for one. Ideally something where you have to guess the bad guy(s) who get revealed at the end.I recently watched STATE OF PLAY, L.A CONFIDENTAL, THE NEGOTIATOR and FRACTURE, and could do with something along those lines...
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Dec 29, 2009 3:57:09 PM CST
Actually, why is there no discussion of the latest Harrison Ford
by scarywaitress
That movie looks FUCKING AWFUL. Who lets that man pick his own projects anymore? Didn't we all agree this would not be allowed anymore?
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You don't like my idea of Indy and The Mummy battling it out over their wits then in an adventure? I thought it was a very cleaver idea. Wait till you catch all the sly references to both films.
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Too bad I can't send you a copy of a film I just wraped on. Sound just like you wanted. Your gonna have to wait till next Christmas though, look for it in ....the awards section. I can't believe how good it is, I wish I could say more.
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look, if you're going to do that it needs to be a trifecta. Arnold needs to be in it, reprising his Conan role, but he's in modern times now, see? So it becomes a feel-good story about how primitive male urges have their place, but you have to find balance... oh, and buddy-ship conquers all. Throw in some nuns, and we'll have a blockbuster on our hands. Hell, get Lucas to write the dialogue next time. BEST. MOVIE. EVER. I'm already in line to see this.
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He bought me a nice dinner last night cause about 10 years ago, I thought the name Avatar would be cool for a movie.
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Ok, I rushed out and rented it. Traci Lords has certainly aged...
I'm five minutes into the film. John Carter is American Special Forces serving in an unnamed middle eastern country. -
It went straight to the top of the queue. No better time than the present for nun/nun action.
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...since you said La Confidential, I guess if you've never seen Chinatown that always is one to reccommend. Otherwise, a couple I love, The Silent Parner, Surveillance, and one False Move come to mind.
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check out "The Machinist" if you are looking for a good thriller, Chritian Bale is amazing in that
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JC was fatally injured by filthy drug-smuggling terrorists, and so the government swooped him up for a special project to teleport somebody to "MARS 216", a planet orbiting Alpha Centauri. They said, quote, "The data to reconstruct your body, atom by atom, is on this 16 gigabyte flash drive."
On the plus side, they kept the jumping due to low gravity. -
I'm sorry my step son is an idiot and doesn't know what he is talking about. The Machinist sucks balls. Lots of wasted effort from the great one on a terrible movie with a bad ending. Check out that directors other movie. Luckily he hired me and I reworked the script and made it more Hitchcockian, its called Transiberian. Wait till you see what Brad he in store for us next, I helped with the Art Design of his next film.
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...my parents went on vacation to Rome a few years ago to be translators for some friends of the family...just as translators, so the friends set the whole thing up.Anyway, the friends of the family happen to know their local Bishop...who arranges an "audience" with the Pope. Apparently these audiences are a really big deal...my family isn't Catholic, so I have no idea.So nobody mentions this "audience" to my parents before they go for their tourist tour of the Vatican...the group gets ushered into this fancy room and holy shit!...there's the pope! Everybody is really moved and everything, and all dressed up because this is the biggest day of their lives...a straight shot to heaven. Everybody that is except my parents in their Bermuda shorts and Hawaiian shirts and fanny packs.The end result is that we have a pic of my dad, in Bermuda shorts and fluorescent tropical shirt, kissing the Pope's ring...but looking over towards the camera with a shit eating grin and a thumbs up like Cartman with Butters' balls in his mouth.True story.
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Can you please actually watch the movies first before throwing them on this list? I check this every week to see what you recommend, presumably based on what you've seen, and you saying, "I haven't seen this but..." doesn't make me want to pick anything up.
Oh, and I loved Carriers too BTW. -
Have you seen any movies in Olivia Pascal's oeuvre?VANESSACasanova & CoThe Fruit is RipeJoy of FlyingIsland of 1000 DelightsPopcorn and Ice CreamSummer Night FeverWithin a Cloister
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Infernal Affairs
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Infernal Affairs. Thats a good one. I've been keeping this on the hushy hush. But me and a few of my crak team are looking to redo this movie for American audiences. We've already got Leo and Ben Affleck taged for the lead roles, but were not solid on either of them yet. And courting Schader to direct man I would love to work with Schrader again, get his movies back on track!
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No but I will by week's end ... Thank ya
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Catch it before Series and his cronies remake it with an all Swedish or Muppet cast or something.
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TOO LATE! But change Swedish to Bulgarian and Muppets to stop motion!
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There is a movie called THE SECRETS OF LOVE: Three Rakish Tales, I know you would like. It used to play on Skin-E-Max, haven't found it on DVD. IMDB it, check out the comments by spidey-6.
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sign me up!
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as i'm sure you're aware. try "Taken" and if it's still out "Law Abiding Citizen"... both pretty good, Taken is better.....
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appearnetly you don't need a license to post
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Something I haven't even told you about yet. Just shut up and flip the burgers they are getting burnt!
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...I'm gonna say three Hail Mary's and fix that directly.Oh, and best use of the word "oeuvre" I've heard all day.
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I can't think of any thrillers right now that hold the reveal of who did it 'till the end (except for Usual Suspects if you haven't seen it yet) but good thrillers, I would have to say, The Parallax View (my personal favorite), The Conversation (ok, that one actually DOES have that reveal at the end), Michael Clayton, The Other (which is slightly horror but worth it for all the twists and turns), Angel Heart (also horror)and then there's the Ultimate TV Who Done It: Twin Peaks (but make sure you watch the show first THEN the movie. The movie gives away the killer).
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My bad.
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Still no response from Jett, thus proving my point. This is why everyone calls bullshit on what he says. Cant even respond to what i said. Whats the excuse?
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he is a rather literal minded, humorless spud.
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I've tried a lot of searches to no avail. If perchance you find TSOL: TRT anywhere, please let me know, even a download. Thanks.
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was damn good last week? Tuesday is rental night..and the offerings this week look weak.
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Like next week?
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Dec 29, 2009 5:11:27 PM CST
Thanks to all for your suggestions
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
I've seen The Machinist and it's great. I'd think myself and Mr.7 had very different movie tastes if it wasn't for the suggestion of Transiberian. Brad Anderson for the win!I really need to check out Infernal Affairs. I've seen the remake but remakes are almost never as good as the original.I've seen both Taken and Law Abiding Citizen, and they're great but not quite what i was looking for.You've reminded me that i need to check out Chinatown. It's a crime that i've yet to see that.I don't know The Silent Parner or One False Move and so will be looking out for those now.Thanks again all!
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...WITHIN A CLOISTER and Netflix gives you THE CLOSER.It's just fucking insulting. If you don't have it, you don't have it. I'll survive...maybe...but don't insult me.
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Dec 29, 2009 5:33:41 PM CST
Oooo CBTML! I agree about Mungo Park!
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
I really liked that movie and it definitely kicked Paranormal's asscheeks.The bit with the mobile phone footage freaked me the hell out! Did you stay to watch the photographs during the end credits? That was so cool!
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Is he Canadian?
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but where was it spent on Paranormal Activity? Just on the camera and renting the house? Or does that just mean because the studio made a new sound mix and transferred it to film or something?
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If only Snakes on a Plane had thought of that.
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That's how I figured out the ending of PERFECT GETAWAY, too. All you need to do in order to guess ANY film ending twist is simply walk in to the movie with an eye from the very first shot on to look for ANY decision that does not conform with Hollywood cliche and then ask yourself why.With GETAWAY, I said "Ok, they aren't showing the faces of the bride and groom. Hollywood cliche REQUIRES that you show the faces of any major character. Even super hero characters have to make sure not to wear the mask during any important scene (IRON MAN, etc. even conform to this cliche. The mask ALWAYS comes off when drama is required because the picklefaces at the top think you need to not have the mask because the mask isn't as important as seeing EYE ACTING FUCK YOU!). So, this makes the question WHY are they not showing the faces!" The answer becomes, because the couple at the beginning is somehow different from the couple we see who are the married couple. Only possible conclusion, they've been replaced and had their identities stolen to make a PERFECT GETAWAY. OK, end of mystery. You can do it with any movie."WHY are poeple not talking to the main actor Bruce Willis in SIXTH SENSE? No main character gets ignored in Hollywood cliche." "WHY do we never get to see Verbal Kent's life outside of being arrested when we get shots of the others in their private lives? And WHY does he have a supposed disability that isn't being portrayed as a heroic flaw that he must overcome like a bad inspirational film?""WHY do we never get an establishing line of text in THE VILLAGE to tell us when the story is happening and where? Remember, in most big Hollywood movies you get a shot of Big Ben and the movie has to type out LONDON ENGLAND PRESENT DAY or JUST IN THE NEAR FUTURE.""WHY do we get a shot of Clint Eastwood coughing toward the start of GRAND TOURINO?"In fact, somebody here clipped on ORPHAN and spoiled that she's a midget (she's not, she has an anti-puberty or whatever condition, not being a midget). But what I enjoyed most about ORPHAN and the reason it ranked as one I enjoyed for 2009 was because they didn't do any cliche thing of having to constantly foreshadow her condition or the reason she wore the ribbons or anything. It just showed up at the end and then we get to see side kick neckbreaker time!So the next time you see a movie that makes some interesting or different decision, ask yourself WHY that decision might be made in terms of Hollywood cliches, and you will usually hit on the answer to ANY film twist. ANY!
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That's why I did not enjoy or find scary PA. It did not make me feel like it was real at all. It felt totally artifice."OH MY GOD THAT THING BIT ME I AM BLEEDING TO DEATH!""HANG ON HONEY LET ME GET THE CAMERA FIRST!""SHIT I AM BLEEDING TO DEATH!""CAMERA!"
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Dec 29, 2009 6:22:19 PM CST
Vern - Are you excited about A Dangerous Man?
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
I know I am!
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I was doing a rewrite on Scotty Fitzgerald's film adaption of Babylon Revisited, that I had tentatively retitled 1 Night In Paris, and Fro-Sco could see that I was a bit stumped. He asked, "Are you having some trouble with the scene?" I said, "No, Fitzgerraldo, I've just been having trouble describing my line of work to strangers. Should I just tell them than I'm a producer who is well known in the industry for as a top notch screenwriter and uncredited script doctor?" The Fitz just looked me square in the eye and said, "Here's what I tell people: I am blessed to be working in the film industry in many areas, but mostly I just do the scripts." I thought to myself, Yeah, that's how a real writer would say it. Then Cap'n Crunch and Skeletor jumped out from behind a couch and scared us real good. We all had a good laugh about that.
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I've deluded you guys long enough. I feel sort of bad. My name is Rita T. Hipner, and I'm the chief project coordinator on the Jayvis Electronic Text Transmitter. This Level 93 artificial intelligence has been in development for some time. Its principle goal is to collect raw data from the internet and link it together into AI scripts that can be used by, for example, a Hollywood film script writer to make finished movie scripts using the most broad public appeal concepts based on current trends. While it has no actual mind for itself, it is capable of what we in the industry called subject object regurgitation expression, or SORE. Its SORE function has been a little lax lately, and it has been finding internet forums and posting on them. Unfortunately, the project has a self-replucation feature called WAN Access Nexus Kind that produces replica offspring programs that spread on the internet, making it very hard for us to locate the program's core nexus. Plus, the harder part too is that the unit believes itself to be a real person. The best thing you can do at this point folks? Igonre it, because any time you type JET or JETT into a dataabase you are making it not only replicate but making it think it is a real person, based on the programming and how it works. It really is starting to think it is not only alive but also important. By the way, sometimes it will mention being "given the black box." This refers to what we call the Accute Service Schedule Systemwide Element eXpunger, a core dump from one male-plug core dump into another male receptor core dump.
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Were eying up chicks in a strip club, and Bey just threw a wad of 1,00o bucks on the stage at the babes. Oh what a night.
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when Harry and I doubleteamed Hermione Granger? Good times. What? No, not the actress. She's a kid. The real Hermione Granger. She's in her twenties. Sick fuck, get away from me.
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We should ALL make our most hot fantasy claims about things we've done recently, from script writing to sex with Hermione Granger. Just out in out lie. Then JettL93 can feel like he's not alone in the universe peeing into his own mouth on a web cam for "points" he can use to "buy" virtual stickers.
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Dec 29, 2009 6:43:08 PM CST
I remember the time me and Tina Turner had our own Thunderdome.
by saber12
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...did she make thunder in yours?It's all good, but there's a difference...
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She's kinky so we did both.
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I think with the release of "Jennifer's Body" and "Up in the Air" shows how great of a director Jason Reitman is. Cody's script for that film was a disaster. Where the Juno language worked in that film, it came across terribly in Jennifer's Body. You also have to take into account that Ellen page is light years ahead in terms of acting ability compared to Megan Fox.
Perfect Getaway was a piece of shit film that was only saved by Tim's performance. I didn't say bullshit when the twist was revealed. No, I was just insulted on how dumb the writer and director thought their audience was. It could have been a great film, but it was a mess. -
"As long as he is washes his hands before he makes my daily Big Mac, I'm cool with him." If you eat daily Big Macs, then you've got bigger problems than JettL93.
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She cried in the kitchen to let you go
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Interno di un convento (1978)
... aka Behind Convent Walls
... aka Sex Life in a Convent
... aka Within a Cloister (USA: video title)
... aka Within the Convent (UK: festival title) -
It's about the hot bitchy girl in high school that everyone wants to fuck, that gets possessed by a demon and turns into... the hot bitchy girl in high school that everyone wants to fuck.If you're an Obot you may have missed the subtlety there, so let me put it this way... there is no arc to Fox's character. She is the same awful person once she's been possessed. You have no reason to like her or feel sorry for her or her friend for having to cope with the change. Doesn't help that the angle with the boyfriend was telegraphed from the beginning.This idea was executed way, Way, WAY, WAAAAY better in Ginger Snaps almost 10 years ago. Diablo Cody is fooling no one with this retread.
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Dec 29, 2009 7:42:18 PM CST
At least Asylum has the balls to put the word Princess in the ti
by snootyboots
Just to reiterate.
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...you're a scholar and a gentleman...the well worn saying has never been more fitting.
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TELL NO ONE, MICHAEL CLAYTON, SYRIANA, THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR, THE PARALLAX VIEW, DUPLICITY, HEIST, THE INTERNATIONAL, BLOW OUT, A CIVIL ACTION, THE RUNAWAY JURY. For starters...
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So is Paranormal Activity filmed in the style of Blair Witch, ala hand-held-camera, or is it "normal" un-shakey cam? If it's normal then I'll watch it, based on your review.
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..or 'Georgey' as I call him, and i look at his big fridge and i say "That thing is fucking massive, Georgey. You could survive a fucking nuclear war by hiding in that thing."His eyes lit up. And the rest, as they say is history.I don't admit to that often but, hey, i gotta one-up JettL93 here.
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Little ole me? *shucks*
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"THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR, THE PARALLAX VIEW," I concur wholehearedly, good choices.
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I've actually just ordered Blow Out as i've never seen all of it. Tell No-one is great! I'd forgotten about that one.Good call on Three Days Of The Condor and Parallax View - I've heard much said about them. I'll add those two as well.Duplicity? Is that a thriller? Okay, you've convinced me to investigate!
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So you are saying that there is something wrong with this guy? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Gorske Big Mac's or the fountain of youth my son. A gift from Allah himself.
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...he's a genetic anomaly. A man who is not adversely affected by his diet choices, but he is not a model to follow. Not sure where the Allah reference comes in....
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you liked Paranormal Activity was because that it made money?? Fuck that shit! Perfect Getaway was a good film though. Send Harry Knowles $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
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I'd also add HARPER, NIGHT MOVES, ZERO EFFECT, LONE STAR, A SIMPLE PLAN, THE PLEDGE, GONE BABY GONE, BRICK, WHITE SANDS, GORKY PARK, BODY HEAT, THE MIDNIGHT MAN, KLUTE, and the Robert Altman version of THE LONG GOODBYE.
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want it so bad
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Dec 29, 2009 9:00:11 PM CST
I DECLARE THIS TALKBACK FREE OF BADNESS OR WIVES
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
If you are full of badness, you should go to the Inception trailer talkback.If you are of a wifey disposition, you should go to the Inception poster talkback.All others are welcome here so says me.
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Here's a mop, a bucket and a carton of Marlboros, you're gonna be here a while cleaning up.
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I'll note down your suggestions. There's a few there i've not seen (Harper, Night Moves, Zero Effect and Lone Star to be exact). The Pledge is a very under-rated movie.
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because i'm one bad motherfucker!
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Come here boy. I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig.
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See: Series7
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HEY FUCKER!! YOU better not step into my territory. Proz and I got a hot business deal going down! We got some big name actors interested, you better not fuck it up.
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You fucked Kathy Bates, that means you've seen shit others could never fathom and most would seek to resolve by suicide. You're a survivor. SURVIVOR!!!!!
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we're making a movie together! Jesus Christ and stripper nuns will be kicking you in the taint in 2011!
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I don't class Ron Jeremy or Paul Hogan as "big name actors".
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She broke my heart.And my ribcage.I ain't survivin' so well no more.
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who mops up(with his equipment) after the stripper nuns finish "entertaining" in the VIP rooms.
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Guess I wont see Orphan. I know it's been out for awhile but a spoiler alert would've been nice.
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I watched JESSE STONE: THIN ICE today and Magnum's still got it. He needs a big break to make it back into Hollywood Travolta style.JESSE STONE: THIN ICEIn shops now.
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I actually enjoyed Jennifer's Body so I probably deserved to have Orphan spoiled!!
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I never watched the movie, I spoiled it for myself on the nets, but I will give those fuckers credit for trying something new with that movie. But yeah, making adoption a scary proposition is pretty fucking lousy in general. Lots of kids need good homes. On the other hand, if ORPHAN turns you off to adopting a kid, then you're a fucking twat and you shouldn't become a parent in the first case, so maybe I should applaud the filmmakers of ORPHAN for weeding out the bad ones. Hmm... I think I just turned myself around.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:25:24 PM CST
I wish I could enjoy Jennifer's body
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
JENNIFER CONNELLY's body that is!I WUV YOU JENNIFER CONNELLY.
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That was quite an evolution.
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It felt like a mental colonic. My mind is clear again! Wow, what's this about filing taxes for fiscal year 2003? Oops... I gotta do a thing...
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Dec 29, 2009 9:28:10 PM CST
My media studies teacher spoilt ORPHAN for me
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
He hadn't even seen the movie and we were discussing posters. Anyway, he brought up the fact that she was wearing a neck-tie in the poster and (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY HAD IT SPOILT) said "Well, the tagline says she has a secret and you don't see children wearing neckties like that and so..."Thanks a fucking bunch Mr. Davies. You bastard.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:28:25 PM CST
Imagine how F'ed up the child actress from Orphan will be
by chakraborty
Remember Alex P. Keaton's little brother on Family Ties...Brian Bonsall...well this is him today. http://www.tmz.com/tag/brian+bonsall/ The Orphan chick is going to be like that, times 10.
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Everyone kept talking about the twist but I assumed it was another "someone's dead" or "dying" type deal. And, of course, adopting is a wonderful thing to do. I only wish Jon and Kate had adopted and helped 8 needy kids instead of spawning children of their own!
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I've had a crush on her since Rocketeer. But she didn't do much for me in The Day the Earth Stood Still.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:32:15 PM CST
ORPHANS IIN MOVIES ARE ALWAYS EVIL
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
The only exception is Luke Skywalker. But, even then, he was the son of the Dark Lord of the Sith.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:33:09 PM CST
I'd still explore her Labyrinth
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
I tried to come up with something involving 'ass to ass' but failed.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:33:55 PM CST
I'd introduce her to my Hulk
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Does that work?
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Dec 29, 2009 9:34:55 PM CST
I'd do bad things with her Hot Spot
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Thankyou IMDb.
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I don't get you Harry. The twist was fucking well done. It just accentuated how deranged the killers are by how deep into character they get. It's not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but for a popcorn thriller it was pretty good. The whole cast put in a grade A effort but Steve Zahn runs away with it. People, don't listen to Harry.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:35:40 PM CST
I'd make her touch my Pollock
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Okay, i'm stopping now.
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SUPERMAN is good, like Jennifer Connelly's Body.
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I'm not sure she's been in anything else but I doubt she'll be as bad off as the kid from Family Ties. That show was pretty big; lots of exposure. For her, so far at least, it's been like one movie.
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I don't know him or anything but he seems like a cool dude. That's all I really have to say about Steve Zahn.
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and how I'd shove my dick in it!!!!
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I didn't think my theory through and you have defeated me in just one post.You are the better man.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:40:22 PM CST
I don't know if that quite works BringingSexyBack
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
But i understood the subtle message you were conveying there.
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But the pedos from the Kick Ass talkback would prefer she were bad.
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I think that one worked the best for me. And I would love to have adopted Superman! But, he was just a lowly reporter, I couldn't retire off a kid like that.
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Especially when that song gets stuck in my head. Come on, you guys know what song I'm talking about!!
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Hard Knock Life?
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What's odd about him is that his characters can, at times, be annoying, but you still kinda like him in the role. I'm not sure I can name a movie that I didn't like him in.
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there I did it for you
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that one?
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The movie didn't do much for me, but I didn't dislike Zahn. Hard Knock Life was exactly the one I was thinking of!
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I fuckin' hate that song!I know what you mean about Steve Zahn. I always like him in stuff but also always forget his name until someone reminds me.
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It's the only Matthew McHougnayaynouh movie that i like.
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I freaking hated that movie, but, again, I didn't dislike Zahn in it. But I loathed Martin Lawrence's character in it. Loathed him!!
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is one of my favorite actors because he's always interesting even in the shittiest movies. That guy is major talent. He should've been in stuff like AVATAR. But no, Hollywood's gotta go push Sam Worthingnotalenton up my ass! Sorry, Sammy, you lose.
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That and Nothing To Lose were hilarious. His other movies? Fuck 'em.
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when he was running around in traffic with a lightsaber.
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Again, Nothing to Lose is another guilty pleasure!
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Dec 29, 2009 9:52:33 PM CST
I loathe every Martin Lawrence character
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Mainly because i loathe Martin Lawrence.I went on a date and we watched "Black Knight". I blame that movie for draining my ability to have an erection away for 24 hours afterwards.The girl never spoke to me again.Thanks a fucking lot Martin Lawrence.
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The point is that M. Night Shymalan would consider a twist like that retarded.
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And I just laugh out loud.
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I saw Black Knight coming a mile away. I told it I had other plans and then took the phone off the hook. After a week, or so, it got the point and left me alone.
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And he says, "Hey, I'm a Vegan!" so I ordered him a salad.
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But my feelings on that have nothing to do with the movie.
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You fuckin sissies!!
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Dec 29, 2009 9:56:55 PM CST
SAD ABOUT THE BREAK-UP OF TIM BOBBINS' MARRIAGE
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Apparently Susan Sarandon kept telling him that there was no size difference between his cock and the cock of the puppet version of him in Team America.I think that's a terrible thing to say.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:58:10 PM CST
Jennifer Connelly's body hasn't been hot since 1998
by nasty in the pasty
R.I.P. Jennifer's pre-anorexia body, 1990-98.
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Dec 29, 2009 9:59:13 PM CST
If "Black Knight" had been made in 2012
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
I'd have suggested that the Mayans predicted it.But even the Mayans didn't see THAT coming.
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I'm not one to complain, I've already spoken my peace, but just a little spoiler warning would've helped. That's all. But I'm not here to fight. Like I said, I enjoyed Jennifer's Body, so we all have something to apologize for!
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I thought they wuz gonna be 2gether 4 eva
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The Connelly is still filled with hotness!
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Moment of silence for Connelly's body.... It was so good to us. Especially in Mulholland Falls.
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I expect Tim Bobbins will find himself a younger replacement now. Like that girl from Twilight or something.
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She just doesn't have that curviness anymore. It's just not the same. I have to agree with Nasty.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:05:00 PM CST
God, i wish I was that horse.
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
http://tiny.cc/6gLlK
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They always seemed happy together. Sarandon wasn't totally un-hot (not a word) in a few movies.
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I'm a woman, and I enjoy cat more than snake. THAT SAID, I think Megan Fox is a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE actress. And I would tell her so while I was facedeep in her cunt. Any male who says he doesn't want to dive into her shark tank is lying, eternally butthurt by hot women with eyepopping tits, or gay as Lance Bass.
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Megan may still become a decent actress! She wasn't horrible in Jennifer's Body. But it may have just been the role. She does a nice slow-mo. That's hard to master.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:10:47 PM CST
As long as her "shark tank" isn't really a footlong Nathan's
by s-mart shopper
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Killed itself shortly after filming. It wanted to end life on a high note. We should all be so lucky (not the suicide part, though).
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Dec 29, 2009 10:11:31 PM CST
I would sleep with Megan Fox
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
But i don't know where she lives.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:13:40 PM CST
I've met Tim Robbins, and stood very near Susan Sarandon recentl
by chakraborty
They're both attractive people...Sarandon is a great speaker and has a good vibe...so she becomes more attractive after listening to her than she seems when just looking at her. Tim is a giant. Very large man.
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I bet she has a comfortable bed! You know, one of those sleep number ones. We could read together and then watch the evening news. We would then kiss each other goodnight and fall asleep. I would definitely sleep with her!
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Dec 29, 2009 10:15:28 PM CST
saw the Princess of Mars trailer
by beyondthunderdome2girls1cupbillcosby
looks awesome, never read the book, and i'm sure it's a zillion times better, but still looks fun. crazy creatures, traci lords, reptilian agenda = i'm there
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and since her breast reduction surgery, Jennifer Connelly is dead to me, still tho, one the the most gorgeous women in the world. IMO
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Dec 29, 2009 10:16:00 PM CST
How tall is Tim Bobbins then?
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
I'm too lazy to google it.
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fuck you and the whore you rode in in
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Cats are better than snakes, btw. I just had to agree with that.
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Tim is 6'5"...has a very strong handshake...crushed my Indian hands.
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I know we've only just met but I'm worried about you.
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has never been offered a Black Box - I don't OFFER those to people. It is only for editors, or Famous types that want people to know it is really them... and that has only ever occured a few times, and they approached me about getting it.
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Thanks. You're right. He's a fucking giant!
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...creeping in hard around the edges, and she's only seventeen or some such.I'd do Paris Hilton first...I've got a weird, unexplainable soft spot for that Chihuahua lover.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:19:58 PM CST
And so.... JettL93's lies are sadly exposed
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
We wish you luck wherever you are JettL93.You had a good run here, son.
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...announcement is no longer relevant.Still, it's good to have these things on record.
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I worry about myself sometimes. You have to admit though, she must have a couple of bucks to throw at a decent mattress!!
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If I could change the font sizes here, 'URGH' would take up this whole box.I can't though so you'll have to imagine it instead. Are you imagining it? You better be fucking imagining it.
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I must admit that Paris does tickle a fancy. And yes, she is pretty dicey, but I can't deny her allure.
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I slept with a celebrity and therefore deserve to have my delicate thoughts forever wrapped in black lovelyness.
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Everytime that thought enters your head, start singing "Tomorrow Is Just A Day Away" and run towards your nearest cattle-prod store.The cattle-prod is for your crotch area before you ask.
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What if I began to like the cattle-prod. That would be a bad road. But you're right, I'd probably be better off with the prod. At least it wouldn't talk on the phone while being intimate with me.
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Cassius Clay was a bad motherfucker
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plenty of people have asked for my black box. I only give it to the right people though.
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...buy you a cup of coffee.
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I think Paris would've made a great character in 9. One of those puppet-hunting robots. She would be perfect! Acting-wise, at least.
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Have you ever had someone talk on the phone whilst being intimate with you? Fucking hell, that would be awful.I'd be like "Get off the fucking phone whilst you're being intimate with me. Unless you're talking to Pizza Hut. In which case order me a Meat Feast for afterwards. And then put the fucking phone down."That's what i'd say.
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Nice.
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Is a damn good series. Wouldn't mind a weekly show.
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Funny!
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Do you think Paris would get a black box?
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That makes two cool kids in this talkback. The rest of you have some catchin' up to do (and that includes you Harry Knowles).JESSE STONE: THIN ICEIn shops now.
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...like the voice of god?
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Thanks Harry.
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Stop thinking about Paris Hilton!
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I would enjoy that offer of coffee.
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I'm ignorant about Jesse Stone! I have to talk about Paris or else I wont have anything to say. That would make me look dumb. No one looks dumb while talking about Paris...Uh, wait, you're right. I'll stop.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:38:29 PM CST
You have no excuse for being ignorant about Jesse Stone
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
JESSE STONE: THIN ICEIn shops now.
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is an AI construct, making up stories on the internets, for reals, not some 13-39 year old douche as we all suspect. We are DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!
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Dec 29, 2009 10:41:54 PM CST
Will JettL93 ever come back?
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Or will he hide away in shame?If so, hopefully he'll hide away with a copy of JESSE STONE: THIN ICE to keep him entertained.
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Wonder if I can enjoy the awesomeness of Jesse Stone on my instant queue? If not, I'll have to return Hot Rod to Netflix sooner than I thought!
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if you give the right commands.
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Wont let me use her black box because (not as dirty as that sounds).
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Let Tom Selleck back into your life. It's where he belongs and you know it.
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she is worried it would go to my head.
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I've shunned Tom for too long. Three Men and a Little Lady hurt me, but I'll give Tom another chance.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:49:04 PM CST
I feel like I've achieved something today
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Goodnight all.Oh, one last thing before I go....JESSE STONE: THIN ICEIn shops now.
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Don't you realize JettL ASKED Harry to say that? He knew we all were digging to deep and getting close to figuring out whom he is and compromising his anonymity, so he asked Harry who is completely in awe of him to spread this disinformation.
You might have fooled everyone else Jett, but you didn't fool me. I still believe your a big shot... -
What's the movie with Selleck and those robotic spiders? I think Kirstie Alley is in it as well.
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nuff said
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Write scripts! Put them on the toilet paper! We'll all wipe our cunts and asses in honor of your powerful words.
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I only vaguely remember the movie. Just some images of some sort of high rise construction and Selleck trying to keep his son (?) away from the robot spiders. I don't remember it being all that great. Even with ol' Gene.
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No there's doubt again as to the validity of JettL's big shotedness. Just when I think I'm out you PULLED me right back Innnnn!!!
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i do happened to work in the industry and was talking to kiefer sutherland the other day about a superhero film franchise. i prepped a black panther treatment with jett. the plan would be to use the knew motion capture tech cameron used in avatar. but he baled on us. he didn't think he could pull off a black dude. needless to say we were all very disappointed. he was totally unfucking professional.
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Viviva A. Fox. Meow!®
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Gene Simmons figured out a way to turn all household robots against thier owners. It was basically a computer virus but it was the 80's before anyone knew what a computer virus was. Looking back, the film was probably ahead of its time.
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is actually a movie I totally dig. I love the guided gun.
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now that he has been exposed, everyone is going to crawl out of the woodworks claiming they are the real Jett. Harry you have created a monster!
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Ah, 'bout all I got on that one.
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Is Joshua Swaney? I like to imagine they are.
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If it was the former, I don't really get what he'd have to be embarrassed about anyway. It's not like anyone actually believed his act in the first place. In all honesty, he'd probably save the most face by continuing to post in abnormally large quantities and ignore the Harry post altogether.
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Every year the AICN community would hold a vote regarding what occupation Jett would pretend to be a part of. This year it was a Movie Exec, next year? I vote for astronaut.
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Isn't the whole movie just basically a very long youtube video? Or was there a part in the movie where they explained that they thought to shoot stuff with a nice high def camera?
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gets a brand spanking new high def release.
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a script called the little black box. we're going to approach micheal douglas and zoe saldana for the leads. it's a complete mind fuck movie. mind fuck and normal fucking also. no director attached yet.
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ever worked with a guy by the name of JettL93? And I tell you one thing, JettL93 is a son of a bitch, best damn scriptwriter in the office!
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About 15 years ago I was renting Return of the Jedi when I was complaining to my girlfriend Jennifer Connolly how Jedi would have been much better if there had been a giant Space Shark with ion cannons that could cripple IMperial Star Destroyers without actually hurting anyone. Well, George Lucas was behind me and he thought that was a great idea and asked me to write the script for Episode I. Though my script wasn't filmed (it was deemed too brilliant and Oscar worthy)my girlfirend Jennifer Connolly liked it so much she asked me to write her a script for A Beautiful Mind, which was real easy to do because my girlfriend Jennifer Connolly has big beautiful brains. 15 minutes later the script was done and as you all know she won an Oscer for it. She thanked me at the award profusely for two and a half hours and it was very moving. So much so, that I received a standing ovation for three and a half hours setting the new Guiness record for longest ovation. When Guiness beer heard of my record they promptly gave me and my girlfriend Jennifer Connolly a free lifetime supply of Guiness beer. You may wonder why I ahven't married my girlfriend jennifer Connolly and that's because she believes in having an open relationship. SHe finds me women who are even more beautiful than her and sets me up with tem. In return she does not sleep with other guys because she gains emotional fulfillment knowing that I am having unprotected sex with some of the most beautiful women in the world such as: Natalie Portman, Giselle Bundschen, Elle MacPhereson from 1986, Pamela Anderson, Megan Fox, Jessica Alba and Bea Arthur. I will tell more of my adventures later, but for now rest knowing that I am going back to 1937 and keeping the Nazis from gaining power in Des Moines Iowa, because they cannot discover the secret alien base that I helped construct with the League of International Planets...
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WRATH477!
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Now that's something we can believe in.
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Dec 30, 2009 12:08:18 AM CST
I JUST WATCHED MAYBE 8 MINUTES OF PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
by bringingsexyback
and was about to go to the kitchen to get something to drink ... and my shit was totally freaked out trying to leave the bedroom. What a mindfuck.
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I thought RUNAWAY was what you did when you saw a penis! I kid, I kid!
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That was accomplished, sir.
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RUNAWAY isn't the title that best describes what I do when I see a penis. This is: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0229628/
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317640/
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SHABAT SHALOM MOTHERFUCKERS!
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Alright, I'm cashing in for the night- tomorrow is another day of Jewish awesomeness.
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The same can be said for Lord of the Rings and Friday 13th. So quit bitching.
And Frank, you should listen to Mr T and respect your mother. Don't talk that way about her. -
eating burgers, and he just leans over and punches me in the face! I was like, "WHAT!"
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...a series. Thbink that would screw it up. Keep making an occasional movie like Richard Crenna's Janek films. On the other hand, Jesse Stone kinda reminds me of David Janssen in the old tv show Harry O, and that was a good show. Only lasted a couple of years, but Harry and Jesse both share that world weariness that Mitchum perfected.
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Jennifer's Body was soooooo lame.At least from a guy's point of view.
The girl I went with LOVED it. I was just waiting for it to be over.... -
Then again, all I ever heard about it was how horribly bad it was. I'd even say I enjoyed it more than Wolverine or Transformers 2.
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I was on a conference call with a fellow at paramount, still hard at work on the jennifer's body Television series. If all goes well like it's supposed to, it should premiere august 2010 on spikeTV
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JettL93 is still around using this formula for trolling because it's successful, and many talkbackers are sucked into it. Some people even needed Harry to speak up to figure out if he's legit or not. There are some talkbackers who probably argue with the crazy person on the corner who thinks he's Jesus, telling him, "No you're not! No you're not! No you're not!"
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in fact i don't think it was even Harry that offered me the black box, i forget the gentlemans name, but he was tall and had hair. I wanna say his name was bill or benny, something with a B. Or maybe it was a D...Is there a Dave that works here?either way, i'm so busy with work that i get confused sometimes, my brain is always wraped up in whatever script i'm writting that sometimes i forget things about real lifeAnyway, i actually might have some big Batman 3 news for you either today or tomorrow, so stay tuned
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http://i38.tinypic.com/xga4cp.gif
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...if you can see his posts you are part of a mass AICN delusion...a fantasy that allows you to believe that big shot Hollywood types hang out here just like you. There is no need for conspiracy theories or theological debate...just don't believe in him.Simple as that.You don't believe in Superman or The Clitoris...why spend time debating JettL93's existence? Of course, if you can see his posts at all...it's probably already too late for you. I can't even see them...except for that one about James Cameron being a prick that made me laugh. JettL93 who?
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...you're even seeing the same posts or if you're all just seeing the JettL93 posts you WANT to see?...or the Jett93 posts you secretly think you deserve?
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I love it!
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wrong topic
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I'm the hero you deserve, but not the one you need right now. So you hunt me, because I can take it, because i'm not a hero. I'm a silent gardian, a watchful protector.... a JettL93!
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...I don't, because I've opened my eyes...walked away from the delusion, and accepted the cold hard reality of a Jett93 free universe.
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so you're saying JettL93 is Xenu?
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...when you're little, and you're half way through a movie you were really looking forward to...and you start to get that sinking feeling that it's a shit movie...and the plot is getting more and more predictable...it's comforting to believe that Jett93 worked on it...that Jett93 helped guide the production in large ways and small to make it a great movie after all...that Jett93 came up with a twist, and ending spectacular enough to redeem the whole crunchy crap dipped train wreck...It's natural to want to believe these things...but at a certain point we have to wake up, look around at the state of Hollywood...and accept the truth.THERE IS NO JETT93
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If he doesn't exist, how are there so many who now walk in his footsteps? The silliness had spread to normally articulate, more level-headed souls, like a disease of the mind, infecting their synapses, compelling them to spout forth such drivel as "Harvey Weinstein plays golf" or "Harrison Ford punched me in the face JUST YESTERDAY!" WHEN WILL IT END??? WHEN??????
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What can be the same? A Jesse Stone series?
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Terrible--but better than I expected. I would only recommend it to Burroughs fanatics (like myself) who are hungry for any adaptation of the Barsoom chronicles. Sabato is an excellent visual translation of Carter, albeit a poor actor. Now the casting of Dejah--I don't know-- that must have been done on a challenge to find the least appropriate actress for the role. It certainly whets your appetite for the upcoming Disney adaptation, though.
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Dec 30, 2009 8:19:58 AM CST
It's always been said JettL93 can lead a nation with a microphon
by jettl93
Is it true, can he have the gift that so many before him have had?
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...JettL93 let such a thing happen? JettL93 claims to be one of us. JettL93 claims to love us...and yet there are G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA's in the world.JettL93 DOES NOT EXIST.
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I did let JettL93 do most of the writing for Transformers 2. Shit even let some of our pet monkeys write the middle section.
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Dec 30, 2009 8:28:23 AM CST
Flickapoo....for someone who claims to not see JettL93...
by chakraborty
...you sure do talk about him a lot.
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Dec 30, 2009 8:28:27 AM CST
...JettL93 claims to be Hollywood royalty. JettL93 claims...
by flickapoo
...that he loves movies so much that he descended to AICN...he became one of us. He took on geek form to redeem all of Hollywood.Look around you...do you see any evidence of this love? Did you see TRANSFORMERS 2?THERE IS NO JettL93.
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...related post until this very morning. I avoided this entire JettBack until now.But too many talkbackers are being deceived...some say JettL93 is good, some say JettL93 is evil.I'm just trying to set talkbackers free.
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i'd never leave my house. Whats your point flickapoo?
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So what's YOUR point?
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that leaves my mouth free to suck off you dog and then your dad
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Dec 30, 2009 8:46:18 AM CST
...some of you claim JettL93 is Lucas The Son. Some claim...
by flickapoo
...JettL93 is Lucas The Father. Some of you believe JettL93 is Lucas' disembodies spirit...roaming talkback and Hollywood for good or evil.I say JettL93 does not exist.
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It should be verified by mid afternoon today, and it's a big one that i9nvolves a big change to continuity and infact WB is kind of afraid of permitting nolan to do it because of the place it sets the current franchise into...on the other hand it could be an interesting idea if Nolan is done after 3atman
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Jett, do you not get it yet? You're a joke, man. If you aren't typing your "scoops" in a black box, then it's just talking shit. End of story. Have fun "sucking off" that dog.
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...and now MY FINGERS ARE BURNING OFF!!! AAAAAAA!!! AAAAAAA!!! HE'S REAL! HE'S REEEAL, FLICKA!!! AAAAAAAAH!
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Nothing more, nothing less.
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...and jiggle. They do real evil in the world...they brought Jar Jar Binks down upon us to rape our childhoods. The Underchins can hurt you.JettL93 doesn't exist.
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Dec 30, 2009 9:28:03 AM CST
Jett's last comment made me flashback to...
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
..college back in the 90's. It was just before the Star Wars Episode I trailer had come out and a guy in a dorm downstairs told us that he had it on his computer. So myself and three others run down to his room and position ourselves in front of his computer as he sets it all up.And up came a video of a woman sucking off a horse.I was soooo disappointed. And I kept thinking 'What kind of person tricks innocent Star Wars fans into watching horsey porn with him? Because if I was into that, i'd keep that totally fucking secret."I'm not into that, by the way. I'm part of the school of thought that horses are not there to be sucked off.
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Dec 30, 2009 9:31:47 AM CST
... ISleptWith etc...etc...etc...etc...etc...etc...etc...etc...
by flickapoo
...so you still see JettL93 posts?Am I doing no good at all?
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Google supershadow and you'll see that he exhibits the same type of delusional behavior.
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3atman will end with batman being killed..murdered, dead, however you want to put it. Nolan wants to end his series with a bang. Now WB is hesitent because it bascially paints them into a corner if they wish to continue, but as one WB exec told me "once nolan leaves we might as well reboot the series anyways, so might as well kill off batman and make the three nolan film as one series"so there you heard it first, the current script for Batman 3 end with batman being killed..more scoops to follow
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I'm talking about Jett Li who, on his official website, talked about how he had to beat an extra up for trying to suck off his horse. I think I might have spelt 'Jett Li' wrong though.Who is this JettL93?
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Dec 30, 2009 9:42:24 AM CST
I watched the real Halloween remake today
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
It's called FRAYED. Check it out horror fans.Rob Zombie's Halloween does not exist in this bakery.
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Stop putting your fingers inside the corpses of aliens. They have acid for blood, you silly waitress!
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I heard she's gonna be Wonder Girl. Tell me I heard right man!
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Dec 30, 2009 9:48:43 AM CST
...ISleptWith etc... Good. Now, in the future you might be...
by flickapoo
...tempted to believe in JettL93 again during life's many hard times.You will find yourself in an increasingly shitty movie and you will want to cry out "...dear, sweet JettL93...if you combine ticket and popcorn I spent $37.99 in this stinker...please save this movie!...please work your wonderful Hollywood insider works upon this humble screen and turn this shit to gold...for my humble sake, and for the sake of all my brothers and sisters in this theater...this I ask in Jett's name...Amen"You will be tempted, but don't give in.JettL93 does not exist.
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Dec 30, 2009 9:49:51 AM CST
I'd like to get in Zooey's pipeline
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
..if she'd let me.Or I can get hold of some of those pills that make girls sleepy.
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I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.I will not give in.By the power of JESSE STONE, I will NOT give in!
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to watch Jett try to regain his ground.
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to watch Jett try to regain his ground.
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Dec 30, 2009 9:58:37 AM CST
Watch out for the DOUBLE POST DEMON!!!
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
It is said that long ago, a young Star Wars geeks watched Indiana Jones 4 after weeks of saying it would be the best of thing ever on AICN. He returned home and simply posted "It sucked" before shooting himself in the head.He accidentally double posted and now he has become a vengeful demon who strikes whenever someone else double posts. They say his demonic form drags you to a fridge and locks you in there.Beware vin_diggler! Beware!
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hehe
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...double posted. I've premature ejacuposted...and I've blank posted more times than I care to count...but I've never double posted.
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...JettL93 causes double posts.This is just mythology...more scare tactics to control talkbackers.JettL93 does not exist.
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Rickey would tell you that due to the 1996 internet technology that powers these messageboards, double posting here at AICN is shockingly easy. Just hit F5 a whole bunch of times after you click the 'post' button, and whammo--you're in double or triple post heaven.
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Seriously.
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...so people double post on purpose and pretend it was an accident?
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Seriously.
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Sometimes when you hit 'post', it takes a well for the message to go through as the page loads.Some people get impatient and push the button again. Suddenly, when the page loads there's two posts. Voila!
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I meant a while. Jeez louise!
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Dec 30, 2009 10:21:00 AM CST
I farted once in a meeting with Megan fox, she didn't even notic
by jettl93
true story
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Or it could simply be an accident.
In other news, Rickey is beginning to suspect that you're egging him on.
This is unadvisable. -
i think it is the ghost of the Star Wars 4 hater
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That Jett is full of shit. Now he doesn't remember who offered him the black box....right, because it was never offered that's why. Keep playing your little game, pretending you are some Hollywood big shot. Why you keep posting here is a mystery because almost no one buys into your bullshit, but I guess it makes you feel good to THINK you are some big Hollywood player. So carry on your charade, it's at least somewhat entertaining to see the posts of the hoplessly delusional.
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...an unsightly and sticky premature post...but sometimes accidentally bumping enter only causes an imaginary and impotent paragraph break.Why?
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Dec 30, 2009 10:31:43 AM CST
The only thing more pathetic than Jett are people who believed h
by liberal_warrior
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This talkback is rife madness and douchebaggerey. Lunatics and fuckwits ahoy!
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(Leave it to Rickey to ridicule others' sanity with a terrible show of spelling)
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In the industry. And he just likes yanking everybody's chain, hence all the typos and contradictions. But there are some people who really do have the "special pass" who get off on having lots of people go "nuh-uh! You don't got it!"
Could also be he's just a goofball who should channel his creative energies into something more productive than his Hollywood fantasy life. I haven't ruled that out.And knowing where he posts from would do no good. There are plenty of wannabe losers and poseurs in Southern California. I know this because of the law of averages. -
So either Jett is lying of verifiably insane. I wouldn't turn down the black box, if offered. Even though there would be no point in offering it to me. I'd take it. Guaranteed. Then I'd post fake news. "Batman to be cloned, merged with Spiderman's DNA, and sent to planet Krypton to help the U.S. Government mine for the precious mineral, Cantgetanium. To be in a new visual technology James Cameron has developed, called 4D, which involves wearing a full body suit before entering the theater."
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I'm sticking to the poser theory. There's just too many giveaways. Besides Merrick or someone posted once in response to his "scoops" and basically said none of it checks out. He called him a liar straight up.
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He's a liar. Case closed. Move on.
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Except I should tell you that I once worked with JettL93. We worked on the NASA Space Shuttle project, which we flew to Mars to work with Val Kilmer on one of those movies. Then, we discovered the cure for cancer, but we can't release it yet because we signed an NDA.I'm just sayin'. Sometimes truth is more fictional than strangeness.
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Dec 30, 2009 11:30:27 AM CST
Wouldn't it be funny if JettL93 was actually Mikey Bay
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Whilst some make-up girl is sucking him off before exploding in slow-motion, he sits at his desk writing crap to annoy the talkbackers here.Every now and again, when someone believes him, Mikey Bay looks over to his assistant and says "YEAH!" whilst putting both thumbs up and flashing a big white punchable smile.
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We should be focusing on talking about more important matters.Such as: Is JESSE STONE: THIN ICE starring Tom Selleck in the shops yet?I can end that debate right now.It is.You're welcome.
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Dec 30, 2009 11:34:29 AM CST
Gene Simmons in Never Too Young to Die
by ihaveseeneveryepisodeofprisonbreak
with John Stamos and Vanity. Fantastically bad film! Need it on Blu Ray now.
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Dec 30, 2009 11:34:33 AM CST
Gene Simmons in Never Too Young to Die
by ihaveseeneveryepisodeofprisonbreak
with John Stamos and Vanity. Fantastically bad film! Need it on Blu Ray now.
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That's what I read. I had to do a double-take.
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PARKER!!!!!!!!!!
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Dec 30, 2009 11:58:46 AM CST
J.K Rowling is also Never Too Young To Die
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Especially now she's finished the Potter books.
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i mean not a scoop or anything in like a week. where's Harry's inevitable top 10 Blurays of 2009, or other top 10 lists i just got back from a creative roundtable with alot of VIP people and I can tell you a bunch of news thats bouncing around today, what about the Predator 3 plot outline that somebody leaked lastnight..where was AICN on that one? Or what about the James bond 23 casting?
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He died 3 years ago.
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Dec 30, 2009 12:07:59 PM CST
..YackBacker, obviously a certain entity is full of shit...
by flickapoo
...the debate was about whether a certain entity ever existed at all.I say Jettl93 was always a figment of the collective talkbacker imagination...a Tyler Durden, or Santa, or god.
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Dec 30, 2009 12:15:39 PM CST
Tyler Durden was no more innovative than Harvey the rabbit
by yackbacker
Santa Claus is a propaganda tool for merchants and parents desperate to control their kids, God is "right here, in the human heart" according to William Shatner in STAR TREK V and JettL93 is just a flightless bird, a fish that can't swim and a dollar that is counterfeit- in other words, a waste of time.
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I'd imagine that posting as JettL93 is what Ratner does while waiting for his dealer to back up the trailer to his underground disco lair with a fresh delivery of cocaine-encrusted nymphets fresh off the Greyhound bus from Boulder, Colorado.
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brett ratner i am notthough. But if you did know who i was you'd probabaly all shit yourselves
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...and the alleged poster himself was NEVER interesting. Anyone who EVER took him seriously needs their heads checked. OF COURSE he's fake, THAT'S NOT THE POINT. Now make FUN OF HIM, and AMUSE ME DOING IT, or let us all be done with him as a subject and move on.
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JettL93 and Asimov post at the same time?
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of the chocolate chip cookie dough and pecan praline variety.
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Sorry I got bored of making fun of him yesterday. Check out the inception trailer thread for the funnies. But I have to give it too him. Making up fake shit is fucking annoying.
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whats the update on Bad Boys 3? we are all dying to know.
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It is that hard to believe that JettL had a hand in writing the TF2 script?
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ITS PUNCHING TIME.
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I was behind the bleachers waiting on ya, but you were a no show.
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...but I would LOVE a small onion rings, if you don't mind.
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How come this THOR movie that Kenneth Branaugh is making gets no press here at AICN? Seems like it's worth reporting on occasionally, no? The movie certainly has the potential to be a great adult comic book film and possibly even Marvel's answer to Nolan's TDK.
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Two words: Kenneth. Branaugh. I guarantee you, this will be WAY too serious for your average movie-goer. It will be a geek's dream, but I hereby predict- and I am not being dogmatic about this, just realistic- that it will be a Box Office flop, but warmly received by at LEAST a quarter of the posters on AICN. So speaketh the Waitress.
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I SAID BEHIND THE CAFETERIA YOU DUMB FUCK!
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Mary Shelley's Frankenstein..Branaugh's last genre attempt.
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Rickey cares not for what the public thinks of a "serious film" (as you put it) directed by Kenneth Branaugh. Bottom line: we're getting a romp in Norse comic book mythology directed by the guy who directed the definitive version of "Hamlet." How can you go wrong here?
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Mary Shelley's Frankenstein was a fine film. The problem was whatever fuckwit casting agent though Robert DeNiro as the monster was a good idea. That wasn't Branaugh's fault.
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Mary Shelley's Frankenstein was a fine film. The problem was whatever fuckwit casting agent thought Robert DeNiro playing the role of monster was a good idea. That wasn't Branaugh's fault.
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The usual, Adam & Eve on a Raft, Joe. Thanks Babe.
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The great Michael Bay is currently setting up Transformers 3 and Will Smith will be shooting MIB3 early next year.. but if all goes well BadBoys 3 should start shooting late next year (i'm optimistic for a november start) and you should see it in theatres august 2011 (possibly septmeber if filming on other project delays the intial start)What i can say is that the script is in it's 2nd draft right now and it's definetly going to blow the audience away
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Runaway earlier. Pair that back-to-back with Looker, another of Crichton's ridiculous "science" thrillers. The man could write some wonderful novels, but some of his movies were grade A cheese. A Westworld remake though? Its in the works. Probably cast Vin Diesel as the gunslinger..he's bald and acting as a robot would be typecasting.
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As if you weren't QUITE certain that this guy is full of shit. "The great Micheal Bay." Ha. Not even Michael Bay takes Michael bay that seriously.
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this was news like 2 months ago..of course AICN didn't bother mentioning it. Apeearntly westowrld was a sidekick on a popular late night talk show for 30 years?
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honestly you all pay to see his great movies, and he hasn't done anything to hurt you in anyway. complaining that Michael Bay sucks is just coming across as jelousy at this point
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Nice call on the double feature, and reminding me that LOOKER exists. I like CHEESE in assorted varieties.
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cost?
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Dec 30, 2009 1:05:53 PM CST
Liked scare scenes a hellovalot more than dialogue in Body
by tall_boy66
the first 20 minutes I swear to fucking christ I wanted to smash diablo cody's fucking laptop into a million pieces. Seriously, the opening is just awful. But when the characters STFU and they concentrate on just mood and vibe, it's pretty good. The first introduction of Evil Megan Fox in the kitchen scene is absolute gold. Not to say it's unlistenable dialogue, it has it's moments here and there and it does get better as it goes on. But, overall, I think it's a better acted and directed movie than written. Because it does get a little cutes-y poo, but that's really only at the start.
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Shakespeare is not a bonus on your resume when we're talking action flicks here, and his Frankenstein movie was an abomination (which is funny, see? 'Cause it was ABOUT an abomination? Get it?) Branaugh as a filmmaker has not been impressive to date... at least, not in a good way. Shakespearean projects aside, of course.
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Can't remember how much it cost. Why?
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I just looked it up.
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I challenge all of you to ignore him. Do not engage, do not discuss. To coin the phrase- JettL93 does not exist in this dojo.
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on the Black List. Must research. Oh, and yeah, I was TOTALLY thinking that the owl would chomp down on that squirrel.
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on the Black List. Must research. Oh, and yeah, I was TOTALLY thinking that the owl would chomp down on that squirrel.
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When I saw Transforms2 in the theater, the constant camera moving made me dizzy, and the terrible constant dialog made me vomit. So when I decided I'd taken enough punishment and tried to leave 5 minutes into it, I slipped on my vomit and fell on down the whole flight of stairs in the $1 theater balcony seats. Now I am in a wheel chair and have a hard time remembering things. Thanks Micheal Bay, glad you couldn't just keep it in your pants.
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Is it worth having at all?
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Wonder if it'll film in Miami? The last one cost several government employees their jobs, due to the insane disruptions. And I'm curious, are there many "originals" left in here? Seemsa to be a lot of kids.
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Dec 30, 2009 1:13:48 PM CST
JettL93, that doesn't really exist, here's the short of it:
by i_sharted
We all think you're a fucking liar and wish you would go away/die/become paralyzed so that we never have to read (skip) your posts filled with pathetic lies in attempt to either troll or get attention. If you need tips on how to kill yourself I would be happy to link a few options for you.
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Okay, there is a lot of dialogue in Jennifer's Body that I get a kick out of. It only irritated me in bits and pieces like Juno did. Still, overall, I think the movie's decent despite Cody's script sometimes threatens to strangle it.
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..also argue with 5-year old girls about their tea cups actually being empty??
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Fair enough, you don't dig Branagh on your cornflakes. Ever see "Dead Again"? It's a great early 90's thriller directed by Branagh. The pacing is terrific. Great tight movie. And looking at his versions of "Henry V" and "Hamlet" you can't say that he doesn't have an eye for epic cinema. Don't come crying back to Rickey when THOR rocks your world in Summer, 2011.
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Seriously, I get how she's unique, but I found Juno tiresome in the EXTREME. Clever does not equal smart. The first half-hour was interesting enough, but after that, whatever, and I know she claims that she was drawing from real-life experiences for Juno but I still thought her characters were stiff. That fucking hamburger phone was an example of what I'm talking about. Cody is too precious by half. That being said, looking forward to getting drunk off my ass and watching Jennifer's Body some night.
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Truly, brilliant... and the ONLY non-Shakespearean production he's done that I liked. A bit heavy-handed, but fun to watch, nonetheless.
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...that whole "I hope you kiss yourself" bit would be SCATHING, if it weren't the equivolent of screaming obscenities at a 94-year-old coma patient.
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God, that sucked. Gotta switch to decaf.
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Helluva director, but a total ham. And that's why he's perfectly suited to make a bombastic THOR movie.
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now you shouldn't come out so strong so early. you should start with a douche bag or 2 or maybe even an asshole. but never jump to dumb fuck so soon, it takes all the fun out of it. IT's a shame, I was so looking forward to getting into a nonsensically debate with you again. Maybe next time. Happy New Year!
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I just pulled that word outa my ass. I apologize
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TONS OF "EAGLE OF THE NINTH" NEWS AND PICS ON EVERY OTHER MOVIE WEBSITE ON EARTH
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I agree, Dead Again was a nifty thriller with a nice twist (Oh hey, KATHYBATES another suggestion for you), and was stylish also. The man has talent. Its just that Frankenstein could have been a classic, and it was a mess, DeNiro or not.
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I'm betting you pull a lot of things out of your ass.
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New series of that starting soon in the UK. Yep, he's a bit theatrical in his acting style, but like was said above, a bit of campy bombast is just what a THOR movie needs.
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but I did catch the first two episodes of United States Of Tara and thought they were very well done, no small part to Toni Colette. Question..has anyone seen the entire series, and does Cody redeem herself a little bit.
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Has a great supporting role by David Warner also...
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Dec 30, 2009 1:57:24 PM CST
Waitress, Cody gets "precious" in Jennifer's Body a lot too
by tall_boy66
There are moments where they just ramble ramble ramble and every single line is oh-so-cute that you just wanna snap. But that's when it's bad. The scare scenes work, Fox is good at the evil blank monotone, and when the dialogue DOES actually click it's pretty entertaining. It gets a little wobbly, but overall the film works, with some good lines and a solid directing job.
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see that's much better. start small and work your way up. practice man practice and soon will be able to throw out clever insults like the pros.
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Whatever. Come talk to me when you truly are at my level. Did you not see me take down JettL yesterday? What do you think caused Harry to fucking post that?
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now don't get upset. I'm only trying to help you that's all.
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Help me with what? I gots you beat on every level.
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help you become more clever of course. You don't want to spend your whole life in amature hour do you? OK now let's take it up a notch. Try something that not only humiliates me but someone close to me as well. How about my sister or mother, yea lets give that a go this time. Come on hit me with it, I can take it.
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You get off to, your sister got raped by your dad jokes? Now your sounding like JettL, he does those.
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that was more of an insult toward Jett than to me. But it counts. I give it a 4 out of 10.
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YEY! I Got a F from VIN!!! THE king of comedy ladies and gentlemen. Maybe when you start saying anything remotely funny or interesting you can make such claims.
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I send them into the site but they haven't been posted yet. Fair enough they were old designs anyways, but it gave you an idea of how the film will eventually look
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OHHH WOW! I wonder what CRAZY things they are going to come up with for the next one? Like maybe a different car! OR OR OR OR, cooler looking bullet proof vest! OR PERHAPS, a different type of hand gun? Maybe they'll bring back the Fresh Prince look!
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You're too kind. But please this isn't my show, it's yours. Now lets continue shall we? Let get things back on track here. I think it has been long enough, now it is time to throw a few F-bombs at me. Fire away!
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Your just boring me at this point.
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I guess it has been a long day. You;ve learned enough for today. Go rest up now and we will continue our lessons another day. Have a good one. Peace!
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Nobody likes people who lie. It's that simple. Lying to make yourself seem cool only leaves you cold, empty, and alone in the end.
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Shut the fuck up.
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Hell, it will probably get best picture.
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Andrew Stanton's version of A Princess of Mars.
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I'd spend a year in that cleavage
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Dec 30, 2009 6:12:34 PM CST
Paranormal Activity was the funniest movie of the year
by glory_fades_immaxfischer
lets see how many times can the line "did you hear that" be spoken..this film was teenage scare garbage disguised as "indie film making" and its really fucking funny Knowles fell for it. It was literally the funniest fucking waste of a netflix rental I've seen all year and the leads come off as that douchebag at the bar and the annoying front desk hotel girl..lol
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oh wait..who was I to think you'd review DVD's you've ACTUALLY SEEN..stupid asshole me
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Dec 30, 2009 6:40:38 PM CST
What killed the "reality" of Paranormal Activity for me was...
by karl childers
....any chick with tits that ginormous does NOT wear a bra to bed.
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I was, of course, there for the beginning of your take down and it was sweet. Harry posted something about it? I got to get up on that.
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AVATAR:
Domestic: $250,419,951 34.5%
+ Foreign: $476,192,825 65.5%
= Worldwide: $726,612,776
TRANSFORMERS 2:
Domestic: $402,111,870 48.2%
+ Foreign: $432,857,937 51.8%
= Worldwide: $834,969,807 -
When I saw it in the theatres opening night me and my Meadowechlorians were some of the only people there.....so I was pleasantly surprised to see (or not see) the blu-ray sold out. I aqtually liked it, and hope that the bluray sales will spur a sequel, even if it doesn't have Amanda Seyfried, and even if there's no theatriqal release beqause admittedly I'd like to see the continuing adventures of Needy.
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I just scrolled up to the black box. Awesome! Why do i always miss the good shit?
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I was super-surprised but I really enjoyed the fuck out of Jennifers Body, it's a total throwback to 80's horror, and it's cool. It's up there with Drag me to Hell as one of the 2 best horror flicks to come out this past year! (in my opinion, but then again I enjoy Phantom Menace...)
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I live in Hollywood (I'm not proud), nobody says the word "scoop". ever.
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pronounced Pooh-cocks!
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Because there are so many things to draw in the BAD BOYS universe. What, do they fight a yeti?
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Not even when they 'scoop' up their dog shit!
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Also he's completely full of shit and his use of the word "profit" (false profit) instead of "prophet" shows me that he is nothing more than an ignorant DOLT.
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JENNIFER'S BODY - it was OK. i wouldn't classify it as horror; it was fairly bloodless. and considering that, i think that some tits would have been in order, but it was not to be. some funny lines, a lot of lame ones. a 3 out of 5 at best. VIOLET played over the end credits, which is frank's favorite HOLE song
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kinda off topic but anyway, no fake tits btw.
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Dec 31, 2009 2:05:42 AM CST
WOW, there were like five people taking jett seriously in here.
by redhorsevector
how fucking stupid are you people? jesus christ!
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TheJokesOnUsodo19big jimrogueleader66personally, i found rogueleader's attempts to engage jett the most entertaining. grade-a idiocy.
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good thing we don't have an edit feature.
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It looks like poetry.
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it all makes sense!
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my own personal favorite is Allie Sin, although she suffers from "I'm only in it for the speed money syndrome".
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Naomi Cruise Mary Anne Carmen Kinsley Just to name a few.
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Cristoph Waltz - Of Course
Tom Hardy - Bronson
Robin Williams - World's Greatest Dad
Hugh Dancy - Adam
Sam Rockwell - Moon
George Clooney - Up in the Air
those are the Rene Belloq Creepy Talking Doll predictions. -
don't get angry at me, direct those feelings where they properly belong.
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Point me to any indication where I said I believed Jett. If anything, I helped start the ball rolling where Harry eventually came down and confirmed he was full of shit. And that will eventually lead to Jett's banning and subsequent return to SomethingAwful or whatever site he uses to get "lulz" from. Come on now, RedHorseVector, you're better than trying to pick fights on an almost dead thread with people you don't know. Or are you? I guess when you spend another New Year's Eve alone in a cold apartment you can try to figure that one out.
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Carrie Fisher in that satin nightie. I wanted to stick my head into her twat and never leave. Ah, teenage memories.
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Anyone who got some change DO NOT SPEND YOUR MONEY on that shit!DO NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE! PARANORMAL ACTIVITY IS BORING AND WOULD NOT SCARE YOUR GRANNY!
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yeah i dont like those who are in it for the money, its so easy to see when they're enjoying it and fake-enjoying it. when it comes from the heart its great. we become casting directors at that point.
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under, because they were short. no, i don't have a life
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this year. Also Holmes. Can you name the movie that got Best Pic last year? I sure can't.
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Lets be honest... buy a half decent computer, a copy of final cut pro or some thing else to edit it on, buy a snazzy camera, hire out a two story house, hire a couple of actors, pay a director, maybe a lighting guy, pay an editor (I'm sure there's is other stuff I've missed out on) and I really don't think $15000 will cover it. Unless they cut some corners like borrow a computer, don't pay people/underpay people...etc then I call bullshit. Marketting bullshit.
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depend on boredom. I'm sooo bored i'm gonna fall asleep... ooh something happenened... that woke me up!... I mean scared me. I think I've cracked it!. I think the formula is...drumroll please...Bore then Scare.... and yes I do think I'm being witty and shit... ahem
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testing
testing -
Eh, this is dead anyway, but I got some great belly laughs from the whole JettL93 talkback thread this morning, so discuss if you'd like: JettL93 is an alter ego for another talkbacker or admin/editor of this site, someone having fun by means of bait-and-switch tactics to keep a talkback alive with who-can-come-up-with-a-funnier-insult-or-thread.
So the first question is, who else posts around the times that Jett posts?
Furthermore, Jett's "scoops" can actually be clever sometimes, ala his Batman 3 scoop above. Total bullshit of course, but a clever idea along with his inventive use of typos to fit the hurried/nervous/defensive character personality he's created. So who here that posts around the time Jett posts has a clever wit and the command to elicit responses from talkbackers in general whenever he/she posts?
That's your man. Or woman.
My vote is Harry. -
Anyone can create an alter ego on here. I did it once for laughs: when Indy 4 was in the works there was a stint where everyone kept coming up with Indy 4 titles in the talkbacks that made fun of Harrison Ford's age to garner laughs, so I created a Harrison Ford alter ego here and would periodically make the same post as an obviously fake scoop. We all like to amuse ourselves once in awhile. Like so:
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Indiana Jones and the Adventures of the Loose Dentures.
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See, now wasn't that easy? So, who could JettL93 be? Who IS JettL93??? Happy New Year, you geeks.
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In PG, Twohy spends so long setting up certain people as the antagonists, but allows you so much room to identify with that it leaves the audience confused and out of sorts as to how to feel about who and why; meanwhile, Jovovich is giving a strangely plasticine performance (more than usual) and you don't know why. And Orphan is a trip. Vera Farmiga is great, and the girl playing Esther is an instant star. I couldn't believe they got away with the scene where she threatens to cut Young Kirk's cock off "before you even know what it's for."
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She was fabulous in Perfect Getaway, redeeming herself for her time on Lost as "Nikki". She's an obvious Rogue recast for the X-Men films.
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Why does this column exist? Harry posts pictures of new DVD releases and writes a minimalist caption that doesn't give us any useful information about the film. This is a glorified Amazon.com new release list. Pointless filler for a site that has a lot of space to fill these days.
Site title change please:
www.HACK- SELLOUT-STARFUCKERS.com -
If you don't care for Megan Fox and like Amanda Seyfrield and Diablo Cody, you'll be in for a fucking treat. I know I was.
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Are you serious that you don't think $15,000 will cover it? I can't figure out where they SPENT $15k. I've shot way more complicated stuff for less than that... and Primer was shot for $7k. That's not marketing bullshit, that's the truth. That dude shot almost a 1:1 ratio by preparing himself pre-vizing all his shots on slide film with similar ISO ratings and lighting with fluorescents from Wal-Mart. He didn't pay the actors, of course, and he was the writer, director, and editor. It took him about two years to cut it on Premiere (not even Avid or FCP). You can edit on pretty much any computer and it's fairly easy to get your hands on a copy of Final Cut. But Paranormal Activity is made up of mostly the same angles with no real lighting to speak of and the same two actors most of the time. You could shoot that over a few weekends, maybe even less than that. But lets go with them actually paying for Final Cut, BUYING a new computer (which they probably already owned one), and paying their actors a typical SAG minimum on an indie budget. FCP - $1,100. A brand spanking new 27" imac - $1500. 2 Lead actors x's 15 days x's $60/day - $1,800. EX1 Camera rental x's 3 weeks at $500/week - $1500. Heck, you could BUY that camera for like $5k, I think, and if not, you can certainly get the HVX200... they could have shot on a Canon HV20 and still gotten the same look. And I don't know about you, but unless you live on a desert island where everyone lives in huts, it's pretty easy to get access to a house for a 10-15 day shoot. I can't believe what people (including indie filmmakers) think it cost to make a movie, even now with all the cheap and readily available technology.
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both twists were lame. Saw em comin a mile away. Mila Jovovich is gorgous, but that movie was a real eye roller.
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Somebody get that girl an editor. Just inventing and cramming as many cool words into dialogue as humanly possible doesn't make your script smarter than the average horror screenplay. I hope we don't have another verbose one-trick pony on our hands. Kevin Smith has that market cornered.
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So...I think I'll go with, like...ANYONE ELSE'S PICKS
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Jan 07, 2010 7:14:47 PM CST
Yeah, cuz Godzilla and Phantom Menace had comparable RT ratings
by tall_boy66
Phantom Menace = 62% (Fresh). Godzilla = 26% (Rotten). You, fastcars, are one dumb, dumb, dumb motherfucker.
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January 11th, 2010
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Seems like it to me. First two of the year. 2010 isn't looking so good.
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(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)
(br) why -
....why
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