Logo

Cool News

BABIES!!!!

Published at:  Dec 21, 2009 9:17:05 PM CST

Hey folks, Harry here with the latest in cute. There's a new documentary film that is following the development of 4 Babies born in very different locales. I'm actually very much looking forward to seeing this. I don't know what your life is like these days, but all around my wife and I... people are having babies. Co-workers, friends, friends of friends, etc. And as our group of friends all begin to smell a bit of baby powder... yes, even Yoko and I have begun thinking about BABIES! BABIES are hilarious critters. Take a look at this trailer and try not to make a cute audible sound. Try it. Seriously. Let's see what your made out of...




WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!



    + Expand All

    Readers Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:17:50 PM CST

    Fuck that shit ...

    by lamerz

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:18:52 PM CST

    babies are food on pandora

    by haterofcrap

  • I go to the movies (once in a blue moon) to fucking escape ...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:20:13 PM CST

    Harry - go for it!!!

    by th3480

    My wife & I are expecting our first in May. It's such an amazing experience - can't wait to meet the little guy/girl!!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:21:25 PM CST

    I Just Had My 3 Nieces And Lil Bro Over Tonight

    by broseph

    And They Drove Me Nuts.Not Sure I Ever Want Kids

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:21:31 PM CST

    Two words: "It's Alive."

    by reportabuse

    Cures baby cuteness dementia in adults.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:22:34 PM CST

    This tired old world NEEDS Harryspawn!

    by knightshift

    Seriously Harry, you and Yoko would make fine parents for a lil' bundle of joy :-)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:25:47 PM CST

    The next genre film fucking your eyeballs.

    by macready452

    Damn babies fucking your eyeballs. that is some depraved shit

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:26:40 PM CST

    Big deal

    by frankenbastard

    I liked this better decades ago when they started Seven Up! in England.
    What age are they up to now?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:33:09 PM CST

    THIS LOOKS GREAT...

    by captain happy

    then again my wife & I are due in two weeks, so maybe that has something to do with it. & Harry...go for it!!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:35:46 PM CST

    SO OLD

    by gnarwhal_evan

    This trailer came out in October or something. I mean... c'mon.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:35:54 PM CST

    How about I don't give a fuck?

    by vesuvio

    About you, Yoko, or babies?
    God, tell me about a slow news day.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:43:18 PM CST

    YOKO STILL AIN'T FOUND YOUR COCK YET KNOWLES?

    by tehcreepythinman

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:44:45 PM CST

    THE CGI LOOKS SOO FUCKING FAKE!!!

    by tehcreepythinman

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:47:46 PM CST

    Who ever heard of a kid that couldn't talk?

    by hippolyta

    HAW HAW HAW HAW!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:48:16 PM CST

    I LIKE BABIES..................WITH KETCHUP!!!

    by tehcreepythinman

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:49:56 PM CST

    Saw this trailer before Mr. Fox

    by thebige

    Having 4 kids of my own ... I do NOT wish to see this film!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:57:03 PM CST

    I have a two year old...sometimes I fantasize about...

    by flickapoo

    ...joining the military and being sent to Afghanistan...just for a change of scene for a couple years.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 9:59:38 PM CST

    this is what happens

    by frank cotton

    when you get married. how about a five year moritorium on human births?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:00:12 PM CST

    Woohoo!

    by rutgerman

    Our first due in February, Harry :) But since I'm FB friends with you and Patricia you might have already seen that :P

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:13:54 PM CST

    thank god they aren't breakdancing.

    by najork

    The trailer suggest this will largely be a film making fun of how candy-ass 1st-worlders are.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:14:08 PM CST

    What no pederast "shock" humor yet?

    by liljuniorbrown

    Those fucktards must still be hitting up the Brittney Murphy obit section. Somebody grab them quick and let them know it's there chance to tell baby fucking or baby killing jokes.We will all be shocked and outraged I promise.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:17:05 PM CST

    pass

    by nippleeffect

    other peoples drooling crotch fruit is about as uninteresting as it gets

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:19:34 PM CST

    Harry please don't reproduce

    by jettl93

    The world does not need 27 pound Knowles offspring with patchy red hair and cheeeto crumb beardsOn a plus not i suppose you could handle the breat feeding duties, what are you a C cup now?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:23:32 PM CST

    Harry is pregnant as we speak

    by jkrow21

    Or so I hear

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:32:33 PM CST

    liljuniorbrown

    by macready452

    I said babies were fucking eyeballs. see what i did there though? In Soviet Russia babies fuck YOU! I love America! What a country.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:32:57 PM CST

    I guess watching the babies grow up in other cultures

    by shazzbot

    would be interesting. The part where the goat drinks the water while the baby's in the tub was funny.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:33:58 PM CST

    My brother and his wife just had a baby girl today!

    by yackbacker

    Just got back from the hospital a couple of hrs ago. Man, I'm thrilled.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:34:28 PM CST

    But for the western baby segments, can't you just

    by shazzbot

    watch cute baby clips on youtube? But I guess this was made for an international audience in mind.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:39:12 PM CST

    Looks better than Avatar

    by trannyformers_apologist

    nothing. else. matters.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:42:37 PM CST

    Now c'mon that WAS cute.

    by doctorzoidberg

  • Dec 21, 2009 10:53:54 PM CST

    I was expecting an Amazon link

    by brandloyalist

    Prices slashed to $9999.99! 24 hours only! HERCVAULT!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:13:47 PM CST

    don't do it, Harry!

    by thehumanburrito

    Overpopulation is a serious issue. How about adopting a perfectly healthy child, instead of creating another mouth to feed while leaving other youth to suffer? No one's genes are so important that they *must* breed rather than adopt.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:20:40 PM CST

    Pandering to the simple minded

    by jimbojones123

    Shockingly exploitive.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:21:40 PM CST

    YackBacker

    by macready452

    Congrats unk. My sister had a baby girl 6 months ago. She makes my smile everytime I see her.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:24:32 PM CST

    Yes...babies...

    by cheyne_stoking_dms

    ...also skyscrapers, kittens, fences, pancakes, and napkins. Dafuck!?!?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:26:16 PM CST

    Teach your son the ways...

    by cheyne_stoking_dms

    of being a leech off Hollywood.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:35:37 PM CST

    I ain't never having kids

    by tall_boy66

    I like my money and my downtime too damn much. The fact that a woman won't touch me is sort of also another reason I won't spawn, but it makes my life a hellova lot easier and I'm a lazy, lazy man. Go ahead and breed the rest of you, but I'm cool with sitting it out. Disposable income fucking rules.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:38:01 PM CST

    Thanks, Mac, congratulations to you too

    by yackbacker

    This is my brother's second child- my nephew is 2.5 years old now. Being an uncle is a great gig. I recommend it to anyone who has a fertile sibling.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:39:46 PM CST

    Everybody is having babies

    by jaka

    Just like they always have been, because that's what we "do". I hate babies, and I don't find them cute. Lil' bastids give me the creeps. Only thing I hate more than babies is kids. We should be incubated until we're like, 25.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:40:09 PM CST

    Actually, I do have a niece

    by tall_boy66

    Only a few months old and she's awesome and she always smiles whenever she sees me. And when she starts crying or needs a diaper change, I pass her off to her mommy/my sister and I go get another beer and watch TV. That's the way to go. Small, five minute increments. I'm cool with that.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:43:19 PM CST

    Stolen from a Steven Wright joke

    by tensticks

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:44:08 PM CST

    Yup. My niece is getting spoiled this X-mas

    by macready452

    I know she can't use a sled yet but she has the best one they make.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:47:23 PM CST

    no thanks

    by r2hunter

    I find it hilarious that all the "I love babies" comments are from people who have not yet had a baby (maybe they have one on the way). And all the comments about babies being a shitload of work and trying to escape from said babies are from people who actually have one. I've had them and although I don't want to escape to Iraq just yet, they are a lot of hardwork and I call bullshit on any man saying they are sooooooooooooooooo excited to be having a baby. Just wait how excited you are when you are changing a diaper at 3am and you haven't slept for more than 3 hours straight in a month. After you've done that, tell me how much you still love babies. I'd rather watch a blank screen than watch this.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:52:54 PM CST

    It seems a little odd

    by jdhasson

    to force a Ben Affleck cameo into this.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 21, 2009 11:54:33 PM CST

    Yeah, Mac, my nephew is getting dinosaurs from me

    by yackbacker

    Can't go wrong with that stuff. You gotta spoil the nephews/nieces. The holidays are 1,000 times more fun now that there are kids involved.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:00:38 AM CST

    Adoption IS the way to go

    by presidentleprechaun

    Breeding naturally to pass on the "bloodline" is a most narcissistic act. No, your child isn't inherently great because that's the way you see yourself. Your child or any child you raise whether or not it's your own, is most likely to prosper based on how you raise it, the values you instill it with and the examples that you set. The millions of dollars spent on fertility treatments to reproduce a child of your own is disgusting hubris, while orphans across the world are abused and neglected. The greatest joke in the world on these people is that in a few decades, bloodlines and genes will be obfuscated, randomized and adulterated by genetic engineering and manipulation. Overpopulation is going to be a major problem in generations to come. Next generations implore you to not crowd the future with too many of us.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:04:20 AM CST

    The best part about buying gifts for a 6month old

    by macready452

    is they have no use for whatever you get them anyway. Actually maybe thats the worst part. I think I just wasted a lot of money:)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:06:56 AM CST

    I ATE A BABY!

    by jules windex

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:07:58 AM CST

    Don't sweat it, Mac

    by yackbacker

    She'll eventually appreciate the sled. I got my nephew this very swanky tricycle for his 1st birthday and he's just getting into it now. It's a down-payment kind of thing.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:09:08 AM CST

    Surely it's an IMAX & 3-D release?

    by replica

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:11:31 AM CST

    TALKBACKERS HAVE TO FIND AN ACTUAL WOMAN FIRST...

    by awkwardavenue

    So thats why they are against this.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:16:11 AM CST

    Have you gone soft on the natives?

    by estacado1

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:16:48 AM CST

    TALL_BOY66 ftw

    by frank cotton

    what sits in a corner and gets smaller and smaller? a baby with a cheese grater

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:23:08 AM CST

    March of the Penguins

    by replica

    Remember how cute that trailer was? Yeah, great cutesy little film all up until the old, weak and sick ones froze to death or were eaten by friggin seals. You KNOW not everyone "Baby" will make it to the end of this one. Wanna a take bets?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:56:03 AM CST

    "BABIES are hilarious critters"

    by glory_fades_immaxfischer

    YOU GO RIGHT BACK UP THERE AND GET ME A BABY, THEY SAID THEY HAVE MORE THAN THEY CAN HANDLE

    Reply to Talkback

  • That should be the tag!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 1:39:21 AM CST

    CUTEST. TRAILER. EVER.

    by dannyglovers_dickblo0d

    Anyone who says they won't go see this movie is lying. That was so cute! It looks to be exactly what movies are supposed to be: FUN.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 1:47:08 AM CST

    Dumpster Baby...

    by cheyne_stoking_dms

    A D.B. way to go!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 2:04:23 AM CST

    The asian one makes a cameo in Kick Ass...

    by jackson healy

    and slices off Nick Cage's penis.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 2:28:56 AM CST

    yes,there are some who would like a movie about babies.........

    by thedannerdaliel

    shhrrruughss......

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 2:46:44 AM CST

    Harry And Yoko, Go For It!!!

    by media messiah

    What is taking you both so long???!!! Babies are the most beautiful beings, ever!!! Have plenty of them!!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 2:57:10 AM CST

    and coming soon the sequel. The Babies Strike Back!

    by orionsangels

  • Dec 22, 2009 2:57:39 AM CST

    and the 3rd sequel. Revenge of the Babies!

    by orionsangels

  • Dec 22, 2009 2:57:58 AM CST

    Babies The Movie! Rated R!

    by orionsangels

  • Dec 22, 2009 3:09:13 AM CST

    The Phantom Pregnancy......

    by righteousbrother

    if we're all on that Star Wars tip.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 3:46:56 AM CST

    I agree. Fuck that shit.

    by the_patriot

    3 other theatre managers I work with on occasion were all asking *me* "What the fuck is that trailer all about? It looks idiotic." My only answer is that hey...there are people that watch "America's Funniest Videos" every week for years on end. There's shit out there for everyone. Doesn't mean that I have to like it - just that I can be snarky about anyone who *does* like it. So nyah. :P

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 3:56:37 AM CST

    Yay! Over populate the Earth!

    by roketopunch

    Everybody should contribute to draining more of the resources by having babies! Fucking primates.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 4:06:16 AM CST

    Harry

    by mastidon

    First off, you would be a great dad. The kid would turn out to be the next generation of geek. That said, RESIST THE URGE! FIGHT THE POWER! Babies are best when they are somebody else's and you can send them home. Babies mean no more last minute traveling around the world. Babies = end of freedom as you know it. Stay a DINK family and your life will be far more enjoyable.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 4:12:57 AM CST

    Feh!

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Babies look like misshapen potatoes. Calling one of those things cute is rather like calling Sloth from the Goonies cute.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 4:57:06 AM CST

    I find babies physically repulsive

    by smackfu

    Freaky, weird looking, gross things. I can never understand when people look at a shriveled up little old man caked in spittle and go 'aw, how cute'. Strangely, most animal babies I find adorable. People babies? Not so much.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 5:52:06 AM CST

    I thought it was Baby Genius 3...

    by ricarleite2

    That was close.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 6:06:40 AM CST

    My wife and I decided against having children

    by ricarleite2

    After watching one of those fucking 5 year olds with cell phones and nike shoes have a fit at a mall. Why the FUCK would I poison this planet with another doomned soul, who is going to have a fucked up life living in a poluted and violent world, and who will cost me dozens of thousands of dollars to maintain? HELL NO! Me and my wife decided to LIVE.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 6:25:59 AM CST

    I just pictured

    by ghostdad

    Harry gasping for air and sweating heavily while rolling his ass after a crawling baby and had a good laugh.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 6:30:49 AM CST

    "Dad can we have a catch?"

    by ghostdad

    "Not now, Son, I'm watching my Krull blu-ray"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 6:49:38 AM CST

    BABIES! Dey're BABIES! AAAAAARGH!!!

    by performingmonkey

    You know it. I know it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:16:47 AM CST

    Kids are cute when they're SOMEONE ELSE'S kids

    by nasty in the pasty

    Across my three siblings, I have about eight nieces, nephews, and step-neices and nephews, and I don't envy them one bit. Oh, they're great kids and all, but only in small doses. If I had to spend my ENTIRE LIFE chasing one around, I would go fucking insane. Whenever my older bro's 2-year-old goes into a spastic tantrum, I shudder. Plus, he has to take the kid to see the Alvin & The Chipmunks "squeakquel", which is true punishment for any parent to endure.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:19:50 AM CST

    Please Harry

    by thekgb

    Don't mate...cannot afford another child left behind such as yourself.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:27:51 AM CST

    My twin 8-month old girls had me up ALL night.

    by nice marmot

    Don't need to read about babies at AICN, Harry.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:30:23 AM CST

    ricarleite2

    by nice marmot

    Imagine you and your wife actually being the proper parents the dip-shits at the mall didn't have.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:46:27 AM CST

    Sooooo glad I don't have any kids

    by alienindisguise

    even with proper parenting most kids turn out to be snotty little douchbags who I'd just as soon kick down a flight of stairs. It's not worth bringing a life into this shittastic society. More lives need to be taken than created. Grim but true.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:49:32 AM CST

    Grammaton Cleric Binks Jr. and Stuntcock Jr

    by grammaton cleric binks

    are already betrothed. They both turned a year old this past week.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:56:07 AM CST

    Babies suck. NO. FUCKING. THANKS. (not now anyway)

    by turketron_2

    This could be the most sane talkback in the history of talkbacks on this site. It's common knowledge that I was the only cool baby ever to exist, and since there's no footage of me as a baby in this then there's no point in it being on "Aint it COOL News". Fucking babies. Like Tall_Boy66 said, money and downtime >>>>> babies. Can't really get down with his "too lazy to know the touch of a woman" deal though. Dammit man, use some of that disposable income to join a gym, buy P90X, or something and get out there and get some ass. Hell, that's one of the best parts of being free from the Plague of Babies (great Invader Zim episode, btw)... being able to chase tail and have no one to answer to in the morning!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:57:37 AM CST

    Will you sign my copy of Watchmen Babies 2?

    by gojira_x

  • Dec 22, 2009 7:59:52 AM CST

    I'd rather smell coccaine powder than baby powder

    by turketron_2

    from a fucking baby, and I don't even do drugs.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:26:14 AM CST

    Talkbackers with mommy and daddy issues? Get outta town!

    by terry1978

    Honestly, that is the only reason somebody would be so adamant about not having kids of their own. If you see the good and bad side of them, you get it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:29:19 AM CST

    I Have a 12 Year Old and a 4 Year Old

    by kevinwillis.net

    The 4 year old was purely a product of Baby Dementia. Went out to dinner with my wife, there was a super-cute baby at the next table, we got nostalgic for when our little girl was a baby, and next thing ya know . . . another couple of years of diapers and feeds and late nights, then doctor's visits and play dates and they ruin clothes at amazing speed and then they get older and it's homework and reports and school projects and you thought you left school behind you? Uh-uh. Instead of spending your Sunday chill-axin, you're gluing down columns for a parthenon project are modeling China out of salt dough. And don't get me started on having to read all the frickin' science and social studies chapters back to front myself just to check the homework, or figuring out all the math that I seriously do not remember them doing when I was in school at all, much less in sixth grade.Harry can probably afford a nanny and tutors. He wants to get baby dementia, fine for him. But if anyone ever tells you it's just as easy to handle two as it is one, spit on them. ;)To be clear, I love both my daughters unabashedly, but we did not calculate the toll and costs of raising a 4 year old in our forties (while having to take care of the many issues of a tweenager) when we got that second case of baby dementia. I'm just saying . . . stop before you drop.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:33:06 AM CST

    BTW, It Takes a Snotty Little Douchebag to Know One

    by kevinwillis.net

    Not that kids can't be horrible little buggers, but that's just the humanity leaking through.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:43:27 AM CST

    TALKBACKERS HAVE TO FIND AN ACTUAL WOMAN FIRST...

    by kevinwillis.net

    Awkward Avenue, I think the problem is that Talkbackers would have to think of something other than themselves, or actively participate in a universe in which they aren't the center around which everything revolves, and they no likey.The cliche that film geeks don't get laid is mostly bs. Many of these anti-baby folks are (a) married, (b) single-and-loving-it, and/or (c) aware that the arrival of children involve trade-offs, usually involving less sex, fewer "date nights", less going out, less-to-no partying, a lot less money, a lot less free time, and a lot more responsibility.The irony is: it's the folks who were raised as me-first, snot-nosed, tantrum-throwing brats that object to having kids because they've seen these other bratty, tantrum-throwing, self-centered kids out in public and steadfastly refuse to contribute any more conscripts to the human race. Maybe it's a form of genetic self-selection?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:49:13 AM CST

    babies are best...

    by thebaxter

    ...with a dollop of hot sauce and a glass of cabernet sauvignon. mmmmmmmmmmmmm, DELICIOUS!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:51:07 AM CST

    Losers....babies don't wanna live in your mom's basement!

    by gosensgo

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:11:50 AM CST

    "BABIES are hilarious critters."

    by skimn

    Spoken like a true non-parent. Lets objectify them as lovable little creatures, not human beings.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:13:03 AM CST

    Nice Marmot

    by ricarleite2

    I don't think I would succeed, as there's much of the spoiling part being done by the rest of the world. Besides, my point is also that I refuse to make another human being to live in our current world. Why? So I can feel up my ego by being a parent? On the expectation of good moments and for being cared in the future by them? I got a wife, family and friends, thank you. And I rather INVEST the money so I can retire with proper care instead of giving the money to someone. Just because it's my kid doesn't mean he or she won't fuck up.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:18:12 AM CST

    This is not

    by uncle stan

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:18:40 AM CST

    "cool news."

    by uncle stan

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:18:49 AM CST

    "Hey dad, what was your username on AICN?"

    by ricarleite2

    "It was Danny Glover's Dick Blood" - awkward pause by thr 9 year old kid - "Who's Danny Glover?"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:25:07 AM CST

    Most awkward movie trailer experience of all time.

    by anything but tangerines

    I almost got up and left

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:34:32 AM CST

    awkward

    by illegaltouching

    saw this trailer in the theater. one woman in the back kept going "awwwww" at every "cute" moment. i wanted to "slap" her across the "face". babies are only cute if their your own, and then only briefly.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:46:59 AM CST

    Really awkward

    by anything but tangerines

    if this makes a profit, expect "Toddlers" to make "New Moon" look like Waterworld.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:49:30 AM CST

    BTW, is this movie in response to the runaway success of

    by anything but tangerines

    Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 10:10:25 AM CST

    From http://isaywhattheywont.wordpress.com

    by ricarleite2

    You are going to die. I’m not telling you this to depress you. It’s just a simple fact…everybody dies. Everything living dies, period. Always. And along the way, we suffer. Oh, not all the time, and not equally. But suffering is part of what life is all about, and some people suffer horribly. Disease. Accident. Starvation. Abuse. And then, sooner or later, there comes death. To all of us. Always. Of course, we all know this, right? Right.

    Still, we try to ignore the facts, and there are many ways in which we do this. Little games we play with ourselves and others. We invent magical beings who tell us what to do, and who promise to protect us. We imagine fairytale places to go to after we die, so it all won’t seem so bad. Of course, these are lies, but lies invented with the best of intentions; to make us less afraid. And then, there’s the biggest, and most harmful lie of all. We have children, imagining that we somehow live on through them…a kind of fake immortality. But make no mistake; our children, each and every one of them, will suffer and die, and no one will really live on at all. The only thing that lives on is the fear, and the story…the lie.

    With modern birth control methods, nobody needs to have children anymore. The world is over-populated, but I’m not going to ask you to save the world. I’m simply asking you to save a child; your child. A child who is never brought into this world will never suffer, nor do harm, nor die. An unborn child will never fear, or lose anyone close to him. But, you might ask, doesn’t an unborn child also lose out on all the good stuff life has to offer?

    Close your eyes. Now, imagine a little boy or girl in your head; any color or shape you choose. Now, open your eyes, and let the image fade. Did your imagined child lose out on anything? Of course not…he or she was an imaginary being, after all, and never existed even one little bit. The same goes for an unborn child; it never misses out on anything at all. However, a real child brought into the world can be made to suffer in all the ways you can imagine, and probably many ways you’d really rather not think about. Of course, any single child’s life might turn out relatively well, though everyone suffers somewhat. But are you really willing to take the chance that your child MIGHT be one of those who suffers terribly through life? Even if you think that chance is somewhat small? It’s a dice throw, after all. Why take the risk?

    Of course, many people will pressure you throughout your childbearing years to ‘have kids’. That’s because of the pretend game I mentioned before; and also, because they want your kids to work, and pay taxes, and help to support them when they get old. If fact, until very recently in history, most people had children for this exact purpose, as many still do today. Oh, and in the past, lots of people owned or worked on farms, and every child was an extra hand to help do the chores. Children as farm tools…does that sound right to you? Well, anybody who tells you to have children, so that your children can contribute to the ‘future’, is basically saying the same thing. “Have a kid! You owe us!” Does anybody else find that idea upsetting?

    If you really feel a need to have a child, adopt. There are plenty of already existing kids who need good homes. The world doesn’t need any more of them. Or volunteer somewhere; there are lots of organizations where you can help kids and adults get through life a little bit easier. I’m just trying to get the point across that there is absolutely NO need to have children, besides the obviously selfish ones. And that’s another thing- don’t let people accuse YOU of being selfish for refusing to breed. There is nothing more selfish than breeding, especially considering what a child might go through. And of course, no matter how good a particular child’s life is, in the end it must die. In a very real way, to have a child is also to condemn that child to death. Now, do you really want to do that?

    Think about it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 10:46:01 AM CST

    Seriously

    by series7

    What did he think would happen when he brought up the idea of him having babies.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 11:24:53 AM CST

    I'd rather watch Sex in the City 1&2, New Moon, Twilight

    by turketron_2

    Back to back than some shit about babies. What in the fuck, seriously what in the fuck. I'm about to nerd rage.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 11:25:39 AM CST

    Sex AND the City

    by turketron_2

  • Dec 22, 2009 11:53:27 AM CST

    Just had a baby, and NO

    by crayotic

    I definitely don't want to watch a documentary about four of them. They'll either be just as annoying as real babies, or it'll be filled with some touchy feely crap about how babies are the best thing since sliced bread, and the latter is all lies, LIES I TELLS YA

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:06:55 PM CST

    Honestly don't know why people have children

    by stabby

    They start out completely dependent on you and totally ruin your life. And then they become little caricatures of everything that is wrong with yourself. When the become teenagers they hate you and treat you like crap. Then they go off to college get educated and blame everything wrong with them on you, which in part is true. Then they put you in a home when you get old because their spouses don't want to live with you. And after you die they all fight over your stuff. Sounds fun. Where do I sign up? No, Thank You!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:43:41 PM CST

    ricarleite2

    by the garbage man

    I don't necessarily disagree with the general sentiment, but the reasoning of what you posted is ridiculously defeatist. By that line of thinking we might as well all commit suicide to spare ourselves the pain of future suffering. You should certainly never watch a movie because I guarantee you're going to dislike at least one thing about it and eventually it will end, so you're better off not bothering. And forget buying that car you've had your eye on, it's only going to need fuel and oil and will require all kinds of maintenance before it eventually breaks down completely. Best just to sit quietly in the dark and wait for the icy finger of Death to deliver that final, fatal Wet Willy of Doom that will emancipate you from all this pain of living. I don't know if you wrote that yourself or are just re-posting it, but it comes across as stereotypical "woe is me, life is pain and mom won't give me $50 for those plaid skinny jeans I NEED" emo blogging to me.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:45:27 PM CST

    Also, what does a half-Asian, half-ginger kid look like?

    by the garbage man

    Seriously, anyone ever catch a glimpse of one these warlocks in the wild? How does that mix turn out?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:50:38 PM CST

    "It's Alive"

    by turketron_2

    1 movie about babies that's probably better than this.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:51:10 PM CST

    "It's Alive 2: It Lives Again"

    by turketron_2

    Probably better than this movie.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:51:13 PM CST

    Jett

    by rogueleader66

    This supposed big player in Hollywood who seems to have written every movie ever made, comes on here and insults the owner of the site? Yea, all credibility is shot. A big player in Hollywood is not going to act like that. Maybe towards studio execs, but not to Harry. Now he is just like every other tool who insults Harry. Way to go big Hollywood player, you have shown your class, or rather lack of. Keep dreaming that you write every big movie in Hollywood, because you are the only one who believes your b/s. Funny how all these "scoops" we always get from this guy we never see anywhere else....ever....major b/s is all that it is.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 12:51:51 PM CST

    "It's Alive 3: Island of the Alive"

    by turketron_2

    The title alone makes it better than this movie. ISLAND OF THE ALIVE!!!! shiiiiit!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 1:05:52 PM CST

    Hey, THAT WAS GREAT!

    by sexx ed

  • Dec 22, 2009 1:08:46 PM CST

    The Garbage Man

    by ricarleite2

    Reposting. Do you have kids?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 1:46:38 PM CST

    Don't know who you're asking Garbage Man

    by jaka

    But no, I don't. However, how about somebody ask who WANTS kids. We, THE HUMAN RACE, are far too stuck on the notion that it's what "we're supposed to do", or "we have to". BS. We don't, and far more people shouldn't. The world would certainly be a better place if every living braincell on the planet stopped procreating.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 2:01:17 PM CST

    Nope.

    by the garbage man

    There are far better reasons for not having them than to spare them some imagined future pain, however.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 2:10:31 PM CST

    Garbage Man

    by jaka

    I completely agree, and could write many thousands of words on the subject. However, I'm guessing you and would mostly agree. So, cool. : )

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 3:29:31 PM CST

    can i just...abort?

    by mattforce7

    clothes hanger?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 3:51:03 PM CST

    GOO-GOO GAA-GAA! MAMA! DADA!

    by mrmysteryguest

    The movie!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 3:53:39 PM CST

    BABIES!!!! HAVING BABIES!!!! ON THE NEXT MAURY!!!!

    by mrmysteryguest

  • Dec 22, 2009 4:05:57 PM CST

    BABIES: PEDATRIC BUGALOO!!!

    by stabby

    "Dancing babies are so 1998," says Peter Travers of Rolling Stone.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 5:58:04 PM CST

    Yack, Congrats on being an Uncle

    by franky_four_fingers

    You get to enjoy the best parts of kids and then at the end of the day you get to go home and not deal with the miserable side of things. Enjoy your niece and congrats to your family.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:20:49 PM CST

    Children are a blessing.

    by americanwerewolf

    That's one doc I might be interested in, if only for the "Aaawww!" factor. The best part about babies(besides makin' 'em) is that they miraculously turn into these fascinatingly complex little people with their own likes and dislikes that you can make grilled cheeses for! I think some of them post here. Harry, I don't know you personally, but I feel I've gotten to reading your stuff, lo these many years. And I think you'd make a wonderful dad. This is not something I'd recommend to everybody. It's the toughest job you'll ever do AND those little people run into some money. I'm my own worst critic and nothing ever seems good enough. But my kids enabled me to pull my head outta my arse and become aware of someone besides myself. I'll love love 'em forever. Even if they grow up to stay in the basement of my home and hang out on the internets all day! What can I say? I'm an enabler.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:24:42 PM CST

    I think intimacy is an overrated crock too

    by tall_boy66

    Physical intimacy. Emotional intimacy. Same bullshit. I'm kept warm and happy by my videogames and DVDs and TV because you don't have to put it with it inevitably disappointing you (well, mostly) or driving it to the "whatever" or talking about your day, etc. etc. Bullshit. Waste of time and gets in the way of my enjoyment of my life. There's always pornography. Much easier and satisfying.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:25:50 PM CST

    Becoming aware of something besides myself?

    by tall_boy66

    No thank you. I love myself too damn much to love anyone else and that's the way I prefer it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 8:34:54 PM CST

    That's wonderful, Tallboy.

    by americanwerewolf

    Whatever works, man.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:15:18 PM CST

    Damn straight

    by tall_boy66

    Cheaper too.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 9:16:22 PM CST

    Flash forward eight years

    by jollymorphic

    Hey folks, Harry Jr. here with a review of the Loonatics Unleashed revival on Nick Jr. -- The classics are reborn ... BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 10:21:18 PM CST

    The bane of the world...

    by ninpobugei

    ...is too damn many people popping out crotch monkeys. Stop having kids and maybe the world will be a better place! I fucking HATE babies!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 11:30:14 PM CST

    I try not to make fun of the afflicted, but...

    by americanwerewolf

    Ah, trolls. Really? If you're concerned about the state of the world, one could argue that the real problem is too damn many pea brains trying to police the species. People come here to talk about movies, not hear your self-loathing issues. Another nerd thinks humanity is "overrated". Alert the media. Man, you feebs are a dime a dozen. I know we live in a culture that worships materialism, but intelligent people have stated that we crave, nay require human contact. But you can't tell that to someone who thinks they know better. Oh, and I know you don't care what people think of you, but thanks for muffing it up for the movie lovers who want to be seen as more than self-centered adolescents. Some day you will be alone with your TVs, DVDs and video games and you'll remember back in school when the other kids chanted, "Nerd, nerd, alone he'd sit. Nerd, nerd... would touch no tit."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 11:35:51 PM CST

    You seem to be confusing sexual activity with self worth, buddy

    by tall_boy66

    Seriously? This is the best argument you have to families? Schoolyard chants? That's what you fucking got? Real soul-searing stuff. You sure know how to make a point. "Haw-haw! Youse don't get laid!" What are you, fucking 11?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 11:36:58 PM CST

    "Nerd, nerd, alone he'd sit. Nerd, nerd... would touch no tit."

    by tall_boy66

    Seriously. This is an actual argument you are making to contribute to your point. Read that back to yourself out loud. Go ahead.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 22, 2009 11:38:35 PM CST

    Also, who in the motherfucking hell ACTUALY RHYMES LIKE THAT?!

    by tall_boy66

    Did you go to a 19th century British boarding school? Did you time-travel forward with Jules Verne or something? This is an actual rhyme. This is what you believe constitutes intelligent conversation. Well, I'm sure as shit glad that YOU reproduced.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 12:05:43 AM CST

    having children

    by frank cotton

    simply because you 'want to have children' is the most self-centered thing a person can do

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 1:18:49 AM CST

    Whatever that means, dude.

    by americanwerewolf

    Look, I absolutely agree the decision to have children should not be taken lightly. I believe I said that. And oh yeah, anybody who ventures to have contact with the outside world sees the result of indescriminate breeding. But like Owen says on Men of a Certain Age, "You meet a nice girl. Shit happens. The next thing you know, you're trippin' over tricycles." Don't fret, Tallboy. My children will be more intelligent than I ever was.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 1:56:38 AM CST

    Indeed, I am a time-travelling 11-year-old!

    by americanwerewolf

    To put it another way, perhaps I crossed the line with my crude humor. And not being around children may be the correct option for you. But you fucking don't have the right to discriminate against other people. Sorry, "buddy", but you have no concept of what you're mouthing off about. I am not so ignorant that I would equate sexual activity with self-worth, but c'mon, dude! When the last time you had pussy was when it was stretched around your neck, and you will most likely die a virgin, I don't take much stock in what this wretch thinks is right.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 5:51:39 AM CST

    BABIES! they're BABIES! AGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

    by the_crimson_king

    I find it funny that so many people on the internet hate babies, like it or not people are hard-wired to fuck and reproduce, it's what we're put on this Earth to do and no amount of "edgy eugenics" talk is gonna stop people from fucking and reproducing, me personally? I'm kind of indifferent to the whole idea, I may have children one day, but I'm gonna focus on building a stable career and life first

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 5:55:27 AM CST

    you know what you guys remind me of?

    by the_crimson_king

    the Combine from Half Life 2 who banned people from sex and reproduction and how people react? surprise surprise they fucking hated it and all it took was a be-specled scientist who never speaks to serve as the catalyst for a revolution that quickly overthrew said Combine

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 8:13:35 AM CST

    Can you imagine the name

    by liljuniorbrown

    If Mori named his kid Yoshitakamuta ,I can't imagine what Harry would do to top that. Probably name the poor bastard after a Romulin or one of the elf wizard deamon people from some obscure movie nobodys ever seen. Good luck anyways. And by the way,who ever quoted Rasing Arizona is a genius.... love that movie.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 9:46:58 AM CST

    Do they show the screaming baby on an airplane...

    by royston lodge

    ...that every single other passenger would like to throw out the window?
    How about the fucking gigantic stroller on the bus that prevents anybody else from moving?
    I hate babies.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 2:51:22 PM CST

    I like babies, I hate parents

    by ghostdad

    It's not a baby's fault that it cries the entire 18 hours of transatlantic flight. It's the parents fault or taking an 18 year old on a transatlantic flight.
    This past weekend, some idiots brought their kids to the sportsbar I go to to watch NFL games, two kids probably 4-6 and a newborn. The kids ran around and annoyed everyone and the parents couldn't be bothered to tell them to sit down. The minute someone said "Hey can you watch your kids?" they'd be "DONT TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY KIDS!" They left the baby stroller in the middle of one of the aisles, and when the waitress pushed it an inch to get through with the two drinks she was carrying, the mom freaked out at her for "TOUCHING MY BABY!"

    Not the kids fault, the parents fault. I really think we should have Breeding Licenses and control who can reproduce like in Fortress.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 2:55:44 PM CST

    but handicapped people

    by ghostdad

    deserve all the hate. You think it's annoying when a stroller's in the way? How about when there's a guy in a wheelchair who refuses to pick one side of the sidewalk.. buddy, you're already sitting down, stop making it harder for the rest of us. Also handicapped people always look so smug.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Dec 23, 2009 5:05:12 PM CST

    Damn - I thought this was a horror film..!!

    by venvariants

    Good title for a horror film, nonetheless...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Feb 15, 2010 2:42:13 AM CST

    BJEvDKH

    by tmveqk

    fezGWV BJEvDKH

    Reply to Talkback

  • Feb 15, 2010 2:42:45 AM CST

    rcrFbDKB

    by tmveqk

    tNhDafO rcrFbDKB

    Reply to Talkback

User Login

Forgot password? Retrieve it here

or register as new user

Quick Talkback Form

Please login to post talkback