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FROZEN trailer hints to too much - watch at your own risk!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey folks, Harry here - I had my own rather horrifying experience today. It wasn't being stuck on a chairlift to be froze solid. No, it was to have a wisdom tooth extracted. One that had exploded. This resulted in a massive amount of grinding into my jaw bone. The entire left side of my face is frozen & numb. So I have a bit of a FROZEN thing going on at the moment... But seriously, regarding this trailer... it hints at too much to me. You should see FROZEN at all costs. Your next chance will be at SUNDANCE, which will be an amazing screening. Seriously, I can not imagine a better midnight horror film to watch at Sundance other than FROZEN. This film will fuck with your head in the best of ways! Then the rest of us can see the film when it gets released wide on February 5th.
At BUTT-NUMB-A-THON 11, the film caused one patron, a lovely femme, to literally faint. She was carried out into the lobby, where she was brought back to consciousness, and completed the film. SO - Can you handle FROZEN? Well, that's what Brianne thought, next thing she knew... she was no longer in a theater. What will happen to you? Do you dare see FROZEN? That's what I figured, pussy! Well, when you grow a pair, let me know. Here's the trailer:
Hey, You're not FROZEN, Click... it is easy, Click!
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Something that wasnt posted on your site before you posted it..
Dumbfuck -
they all die?
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You would love the shit out of that one Harry i bet...
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At least for me, I received my food during the intense scenes in the film. And nearly lost 16 hours of the massive amounts of food I ingested up until that point. Can't wait to see it again.
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Where have those delicious funbags been...I'm dying over here!!!
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I just watched the trailer and thought to myself "that is the dumbest trailer I have ever seen". I came to AICN to hopefully jump in on making fun of it. And I find a positive review?
you must be off your rocker if you think three people on a chairlift is any sort of scary premise. What are they, too dumb to get off the lift? Given the plethora of goretex, nylon straps and buckles its should be pretty easy to figure a way to get down. Then you ski...DOWN..the mountain. On the one lift they have have been riding all day.It looks fucking stupid. It also made no sense how there were scenes of the people "frozen" yet at no point was there any sort of adverse weather (which would actually be the only scary part of being stuck on a lift). Do I dare see Frozen? Fuck no its a waste of money -
it's got a big 'ole harry knowles quote there.. adorable.
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doesnt every single person in the world have a cell phone on them, at all times, nowadays?
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or else it would have been a cliche...lol. Suspenseful? Sure, from what I can see in the trailer. Scary? No, at least not to me...unless when you see her hand, it has eyes looking back at her and even then, not so scary
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Come on! It looks like a student film. seriously.
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Are you kidding me...a movie about being stuck on a CHAIRLIFT?!?! A fucking CHAIRLIFT!!! hahahaha..classic..I'm going to go write about a horror film, THE CHANGING ROOM!!!
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Looks awesome.
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At least now we know the big accident to start the next one: chairlift disaster.
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I am sure I have seen or read one of those Worst Case Scenario books which tells you what to do if stuck on a Ski Lift. Most of its common sense too. You use a belt or strap from your clothing to shimmy along the cable to the next tower, use tower to climb to the ground. walk or ski down mountain, have a nice cup of tea/soup/coffee.
Film looks ok and I am just wondering if they explain why not one of them can get down of the chair lift. -
Sounds like a sketch, like the SNL sketch where the morning news crew lost their teleprompters.
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Last one
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A headfirst plunge into terror!
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IN THE THING FULL OF COLORED BALLS IN THE MIDDLE OF CHUCK E CHEESE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM
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POINT SET... TERROR!
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SWING LOW... INTO TERROR!
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wow... according to imdb there's a been a movie called "frozen" every year since 2002. Thinkin' I might wait for the 2011 "Frozen."
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THIS LADDER GOES STRAIGHT TO... TERROR!
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A puppy isn't just for christmas... it's for... TERROR!
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that would suck
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Can one man overcome incredible odds to get to the front of the line to order his grande peppermint mocha? It's the ultimate horror thrillride filled with DEADLY coffee spills on the floor!
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RIP Brittney
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and that turned out quite well despite the dumb idea
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than the movie will possibly be.
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So, they're fighting against the cold and some wolves? Or is there some Descent type snow monsters?
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FLOCKA!!!
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Dec 21, 2009 10:45:37 PM CST
Escape From The Department of Motor Vehicles
by trannyformers_apologist
Looks better than Avatar
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Dec 21, 2009 10:47:13 PM CST
Don't tell me no one ever gets scared when on a SKI lift.
by ganymede3001
No matter how many times I do it, it's scary as hell. And if you've every skied Heavenly in California, and took the lift to the Nevada side of the mountain. Knows how fucking scary it is when you get really high up and that cage starts to violently shake. This will movie will do very well, since I'm sure I"m not the only one who's weary of ski lifts.
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Vlad Putin is trying to kill Knowles!
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Just make an ice ramp, dude.
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I'd pay $10 to see three ski-loving hipsters get some pumpkin bombs thrown at them.
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Five o clock shadow strikes at midnight.
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Don't need these gloves anymore. How the FUCK do you get your hand stuck to the safety bar?
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to survive these situations. CHAIRLIFT THREE-WAY!!!!
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would figure out a way to get down using only their available gear. But if your life was on the line, good old fashioned endurance and using the hand over hand, legs crossed on the cable climbing method would work, and as previously mentioned securing yourself with a belt when you get tired, would do the trick.
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this link is for you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIZVcRccCx0
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really.. the advent of cell phones sure did mess up suspense movies.
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If the thigh burn don't get you the wedgies in the locker room will.
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Holy fuck, I would love to have those three as clients. What a fucking payday! They'll own that mountain after we're done with them.
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Yeah, it'll be the next JAWS... HAHAHAHA.
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what type of ski resort closes on sunday and doesn't open til friday in the middle of winter?
and why type of resort doesn't check their lifts before they close them down?
I know i know, "suspend your disbelief" but at least with jaws, sharks can eat you. chairlift is never gonna leave you hanging.
they people who gets scared of this are the same people who are scared of elevators. and umbrellas. and pinecones.
really dumb movie idea. i like it, i'll go check it out to see which retarded 20-something survives.
I'd rather see final destination 2010 though, personally. -
the next thing you know, Harry'll be telling us how much he's looking forward to that BABIES movie.
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"Just call AAA.""It's expired.""AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
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Honestly...half-way through, I'm thinking "Parody Movie". Holy Fuck.
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Dec 22, 2009 12:04:44 AM CST
Am I the only one who's intrigued by this stupid movie?
by kingninereturns
I really want to know what happens. Fuck me.
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"They're in the middle of the rink...but someone's turned out the lights!"
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was caught in that situation, he would have been able to 1) lived off of his fat for a month straight and 2) mathematically resolved his dilemma in 2 minutes. And he would have made friends with his ski pole, Leki.
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To turn the camera sideways?
What? It worked for Tigger. -
If 3 people can't get themselves off of a fucking ski lift, maybe the gene pool is better off without 'em.
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And the channel is stuck on.... TERROR
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And your leg is going numb with... TERROR
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Add zombies and a promiscuous Rashida Jones. Actually, just go with Rashida, nix the ski lift and zombies. Guaranteed hit.
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"And the Smith family is stopped at a red light...THAT NEVER CHANGES TO GREEN..."
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But I guess if you guys prefer horror remakes, I'm sure you can all go check out Platinum Dune movie of the week instead.
And then come back here and bitch about having your childhoods raped. Right? -
We can only do Dark Water so many times.
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And below you is Yakov Smirnoff doing his comedy routine for hours on end. WHAT A COUNTRY... OF TERROR!
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This time...terror doesn't stop when you turn off the the water.
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Whill do for skiing what jaws did for swimming???? lol...Ii don't know whats funnier..the fact this movie got made of the fact Harry liked/was scared by it...WHICH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WAS IN THIS MOVIE HARRY?
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Dec 22, 2009 12:48:04 AM CST
Was gonna make a "waiting at starbucks" post
by glory_fades_immaxfischer
But Max Calif. made it before me..nice work
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get your shit b horror movie posted on aicn..the movie.
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in the sequel, he comes to another talkback to whine.spoiler alert, the sequels go on for over a year.
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Dec 22, 2009 1:34:03 AM CST
Can't decide if I'm offended as a skier or as a horror fan
by falafalguy
A ski genre horror movie is not that hard. So many skiers get lost and killed going out of bounds or into the backcountry these days; why the hell would you have someone "stranded" on a chair lift? That's your fuckin idea or horror? Really? This whole thing sounds like an RL Stine "novel."
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How original! How do they keep coming up with this stuff?
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for existing. You got me to laugh audibly.
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is so 1970's.
The problem is with the pussy in the corset who can't breath, not in the "scary" movie.
5 will get you 1 that she "fainted" as a way of drawing attention to her attention-starved melodramatic self. -
Harry, seriously? This movie excites you? Have a word with yourslef!
In fact, have an EXTREME word with yourself! -
is good pr. as is throwing up at a movie. or people leaving the cinema. What does it say about someone who claims to anti mainstream movies . has a supposedly anti mainstream movie site and yet gets his name on a poster. whats that called.
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*SPOILERS*I understand where people are coming from when they say that "well, if this situation happened..." but there is the problem... THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THIS SITUATION COULD HAPPEN.Is any hill going to close down and not have ski patrol scan the entire lift? No.Is somebody going to notice the extra car in the parking lot? Yes.Do ski resorts close down for an entire week during the peak of the season? No.Sure, if you completely ignore the impossible situation I guess what they did sorta makes sense... if you were a fucking idiot. In retrospect removing these dumbasses from the gene pool isn't something I have an issue with.I don't even want to get into the acting. I hope the casting director gets into another line of work, because watching a feature with these actors (especially the 2 guys) is a chore.It was entertaining and that type of movie fit well in the timeslot Harry gave it. I look forward to seeing a smaller more-indie film at BNAT, stuff that people wouldn't otherwise see, but this isn't worth the trouble to see at a theater. If it ends up on Netflix Instant View then it may be worth a look, but until that point AVOID.
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... you better not be traped in a ski... ok, thats stupid. I not saw the movie but I wanna my money back!
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a few years ago. In which a rope snapped on a cable car. in a ski restort. in austria as the cable was going through a tunnel. and the tunnel collapsed.
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Dec 22, 2009 6:31:00 AM CST
Anyone who's been skiing would jump off that within 10 mins
by kingoflight
As you would almost never break your leg landing because the snow under the lifts are not compacted down like the normal slope its off piest. Also when do mountains close down from sunday till friday when it peak season....... never.
I already fucking hate this movie for being stupid. -
In San Francisco you can roll forever....
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Was the body's way of saying "I'm not watching this idiocy anymore." People jump out of helicopters to ski all the time and are fine, yet somehow a fucking CHAIRLIFT is scary? I understand how something like snorkeling in the middle of the ocean can be somewhat scary in theory, but is Skiing really some new exotic thing that nobody knows anything about?
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I bet the words "bro" and "fuck" are used a lot because the more time you say them the more realistic your dialouge is!
"Dude you gotta fucking jump bro"
"bro it's fucking cold dude"
"oh fuck bro fucking wolves dude, fuck!"
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People thought Open Water was scary? I watched it, and said, versimilitude is broken in this flick because there's a camera there. Even if they shot it like a home movie, who's the dickhead with the camera watching them die, Jigsaw?This would be a sort of scary premise, if they hadn't already done it on a very funny episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.As for sliding down, don't try using your pants, as Mythbusters proved there's not enough lubrication on the cable to keep the pants from snagging. Also if you fall past 20 feet, you're going to break something. Snow isn't going to stop you (again, Mythbusters). I think it's funny that wild dogs kill the guy, where the fuck is this ski lift, Afghanistan? Where packs of wild dogs await anyone slow enough on the slopes?I'll catch this one on DVD. And I'll only faint a little.
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I don't have to see the movie now.
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And tying your clothes together be better than sitting up in the ski lift all night? Make a rope out of jackets and ski suits, lower two of 'em down, and the lightest or one with the most upper-body strength unties it, loops it around the bar, and goes down as far as they can (holding on to both sides) before letting one side go. Then, they are all off the lift, on the ground, and can put their clothes back on with less risk of frost-bite than from staying on the ski-lift all night.
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Dec 22, 2009 8:24:01 AM CST
This really is the best TB in a while...oh, and Spice-Orange..
by we_are_trapper_keeper
Please don't mention pinecones, the terror is still to near
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All of the "simple" solutions people bring up just don't work. It would take an incredible athlete to climb the wire all the way to a tower if caught between two moderate spaced ones, "sliding" it like a zipline doesn't work, and you could turn your clothing into maybe 10 feet worth of rope once you tie it together with any chance of it supporting 170 lbs. (Go ahead and try it at home and see how far you can go with it... And also realize that this idea gets you mostly naked with your gear tied to the lift above you once you drop.). People who jump out of helicopters do so onto steep inclines... It's not the powder that protects them, it's that their momentum is only somewhat redirected by the mountain. Plus, the colder you get (and you'll lose plenty of heat with air circulating all around you in nighttime alpine temperatures, bad weather or not) the more stupid things you'll do as your judgement is impared. It's not uncommon to find hypothermia victims nude because... well, whatever the reason it probably seemed like a good idea at the time to them. So really it depends on whether you believe a system that relies on human observation could ever fuck up enough to leave someone on a lift (counting cars in the parking lot is unreliable, as plenty of resorts have shuttles and such.) As for being attacked by wolves... That one I have no defense for.
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You are the exact kind of idiot who brings attention to spoilers, thereby spoiling it! Allow me to explain...Any scene in that trailer could be a result of misleading editing, a dream-sequence, etc. I have seen enough trailers to know they could hint at something, but actually have a totally different outcome. In other words, if I just watched the trailer without reading your headline, I wouldn't have thought I had seen a spoiler. BUT YOU make it ABUDANTLY CLEAR that there IS a spoiler in the trailer. Just leave it alone. Its like when someone says to you at the begininng of a movie, "I TOTALLY flipped at the ending! Wait till you see what happens!" thereby revealing that there IS a twist, so you are looking for evidence the whole movie. FURTHERMORE- you are doing a GREAT disservice to the filmmakers for labeling the trailer, the one thing that might get the movie noticed, as too revealing, and watch at your own risk. On behalf of the makers of Frozen: "FUCK YOU!" I wouldnt have given two shits about this movie, if not for the trailer.
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I need to check something here
Okay -
is it by using this
i sure hope so -
"Are you guys sure that we're not too old to go into the thing in the middle of Chuck E Cheese with all the balls?"
"Yeah it works all the time. All you have to do is go over there and..."
"So I'm blonde and I'm an easy lay and I have a joint can me and my friends go in the pit of balls in the middle of Chuck E Cheese?"
WITH FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND PEOPLE DIVING INTO THE BALLS IN THE MIDDLE OF CHUCK E CHEESE
"Last one in gotta make it count!"
"AND OVER 200 CHUCK E CHEESES MIRACULOUSLY STILL IN OPERATION GIVEN THEIR PIZZA SUCKS AND NO ONE PLAYS VIDEOGAMES IN PUBLIC REALLY"
"IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE SOMEONE GETS LOST IN THERE"
"Terrifying! Will do for the pit in the middle of Chuck E Cheeses filled with multicolored balls what the Fifth Element did for Chris Tucker" - some Canadian guy eh
"No one knows we're here in the shallow pit full of balls..." "This is so messed up... They're too busy playing Digdug"
"A Triumph! Manages to make something totally ridiculous like going skiing look like a fucking Saw movie" - some fat dude who writes reviews for a website twelve goth kids read
"SCARY AND INTENSE. I LOVE HAM!" - Harry Knowles
"It's Sunday, and Chuck E Cheese isn't open again til tomorrow night. And there are pizza ovens and bags of pepporini in here."
Ok you get the point
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Anyone who knows anything about wild wolves knows this - they are extremely shy around humans and any non-fatal attacks are usually because the person has a dog with him or the wolf is actually an exotic pet.
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The Wolves are the sharks. Will they tell us and the end what survival gear to take on a ski lift? Like they did at the end of Open Water for scuba diving.
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Teeth taken out before they turn 30?
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Fucking did Green not give you any money for Spiral? Its by far his best film. Very Hitchcockian, yet its never been mentioned on here.
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This looks like one of those spoof trailers made for the opening of a Scary Movie or something.
That trailer had me busting up laughing over here. Just too ridiculously funny.
Next! -
If no one else will, I have to say, that is one of the funniest fucking things written on the Talkback in a while. You make that a Youtube clip, and it will be 100% awesome.
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Are you really this enthusiastic about this movie? A woman passed out? Either you're a pathological liar or you have a really dumb sense of humor.
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I guarauntee you if I was stuck on a chairlift, I'd find a way down. It wouldn't take an athlete just a not fatass. You'd get to rest at every chair unto you got to a tower. Would it be easy or safe? Hell no. And you'd need good weather. Plus, you could put on everyones gear as padding, then jump. Then steal a few pads from the ski towers and they could jump too. Theres tons of things to do. Damn I'm good.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
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if you use a ski pole over the cable. Won't work with belts or shirts or some shit. I guess she lost her poles when she took off her gloves and licked her hand and stuck it to an icy bar. Fuckin retard.
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Followed by LAVALANCHE. I can't stand how lame this looks.
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she was a fat malnourished slob who spent half the night stuffing her face in a hot room filled with what I can only imagine is the foulest odor since the bathroom at a Biggest Loser casting call? Maybe? Ya think?
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It's funny, the ideas circulating the Talkback are the same things we were talking about before seeing the movie. Of course, they try the easy things, and of course, they fail. Because it's not as easy or simple as you think. Does the movie rely on them doing dumb shit? Of course, just like every other horror movie every made. But is it still suspenseful? Yeah. I'd recommend this movie to my friends, even if only as a rental.
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I lost interest after 7 seconds of that trailer.
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THAT IS THE GAYEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN.
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Can't wait for this one (sic). They should totally have ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER yelling MR.FREEZE one-liners at them from below - HA!!!
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stars in another low-budget horror flick called "The Thaw."
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so she realizes she's stuck there for a week and she never bothers to put her gloves on?
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Prepare!...for the horror of being stuck upside-down!
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...with the sub-head: "Death is Waiting." A chairlift. Seriously. Why not just call the movie "Three Retards on a Chairlift?"
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same guy write it or something?
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Has anyone used it before you?
Recently?>br>
How do you measure thirst? -
A person in snow gloves and hard ski boots is going to have a hell of a time climbing up the chair lift to the line and supporting all of their body weight without a harness or safety line from a frozen steel wire while dragging themselves (without clips or pulleys to decrease resistance on the line) for 50 yards or more, then somehow over the sheave wheels and up onto the crossarm itself and then down to a ladder on the central tower. Add the discomfort of the weather and the stress of their lives depending not allowing a single slip and you have a feat that few could realistically accomplish. I have no doubt that there are people who can do it, but I also have no doubt that they are a tiny percentage of the people who think that *they* could do it.
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Your review was coherent, logical, honest, and a pleasure to read.
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Go here for a good explanation: http://tinyurl.com/4bs4seNot being a skier, how high up would these people be? 20 - 30 feet? Higher? The solution would seem to be to have everyone remove their clothes, lower the girl as far as they can (depending upon length of clothes and strength of tying them together), give the girl the car keys and have her go get help. The guys could put their clothes back on and await help.Sounds like the way to go, barring the pack of feral wolves that seem to roam U.S. ski resorts taking down the girl.
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Really? How about that guy who was stuck in an elevator for a little less than a week? Sure, that'd make a dumb premise for a horror movie (maybe an interesting idea for an art movie), but the complaint that stuff like this "could NEVER happen" is patently stupid oversimplification. I have no doubts that people have been stuck on chairlifts for extended periods, but the real question is whether or not this could make a good horror movie... to which my answer is, probably not, but we'll see. -
They often try to keep them low so that trees can help shield them from the weather, but some can tower over the trees and be 50 to 75 feet over uneven terrain. There are definitely points on lifts out there where there is no reasonable way to get yourself safely to the ground.
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Dec 22, 2009 5:21:55 PM CST
WHATS WORSE? THE TRAILER OR THE FACT THAT SOME WEAK LADY FELL OV
by awkwardavenue
FUCK THIS SITE.
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"This time....things heat up!"
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DUDE CRAWLED DOWN AN ICY FUCKING MOUNTAIN WITH SHATTERED LIMBS AFTER FALLING INTO A 100 FT ICE CREVASSE! FOR REAL! AFTER HIS BEST FRIEND LEFT HIM THERE TO DIE! I mean come on how can I take a chairlift seriously.
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and a pack of fucking wolves were sprinting on top of the four foot high powder, nipping at my poles. damndest thing! you'd think that wolves wouldn't run wild on a ski resort.
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"Burned"...three people trapped in a sauna!
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Whatta sucky situation. Kinda like Open Water at the ski resort. Don't think I'll b checkin' that out any time soon.
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Trapped in a public restroom!
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I'm stick to rotten tomato, twitchfilms and roger ebert for not on.
I don't know what bothers me more, the poor reviews or the fact that these hosers are getting paid by the studios to get favorable reviews. -
REALLY? How in any way is this piece of shit cool? Ok yeah, time to move on. Too bad, AICN used to rock.
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I'll see you in the next talkback when you're back to whining about AICN as you come here every day.you should meet Glory_Farts_Im_Max_Fischer
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It's called "frozen." There are 3 people and 3 options for them: 1)Jump, 2)monkey over to the closest pole, 3)do nothing and wait. The best part about this movie is watching it and laughing at how stupid they are. Gee, maybe you should wear your hood instead of getting frostbite on your face.
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Dec 22, 2009 11:00:38 PM CST
Earth vs. Soup or Peter Graves and the University of Michigan
by pazuzu2k
At least it should make for good RiffTrax fodder.
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good call.. and thanx for the boost out.
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Brass Balls ftw.
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you came back to the same talkback you said ushered you off AICN...solely to see if anyone had replied to you. I'm pretty sure you're not going anywhere.
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And nobody had a cell phone?
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the guys are telling you the story and you still dont believe they live through it. well i didn't. it was fucking amazing.
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Touching the Vag.
Thankyew! I'm here all week! -
Yes Harry. Im 32
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For a great review of my film? Can we expect, for a nice Benjamin, a positive review of the Chimpmonks sequel?
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why bother doing reviews. when I can put three words on a poster. well I have news. In the uk they have really cracked down on that type of thing. it is now against the law, you have to publish a full review. it only applies to plays. so harry can keep doing his three word reviews for the studios.
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Stuck in the office, he's got a lot of work to do, but JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET STARTED! And the talkback he's reading is sooooo long.
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pull down the ski hat, tighten up the scarf, make sure the gloves are snug ... aannnnnnd.. wait.
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during the day?
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thats why the mountains closed from sunday-friday! its the annual wolf week; the only week that wolves can wander the mountain without bothering any skiers!
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this actually happened: http://tinyurl.com/ya9kelf
the lift stopped with 300 people in it.. got em all down in an hour and a half, though -
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