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Christopher Nolan's INCEPTION gets a poster!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. I'm so happy that I know nothing about Christopher Nolan's INCEPTION... and I don't need to. That teaser trailer didn't tell me jackshit and neither does this poster. That's fine by me. It's Christopher Nolan, so it already has my ass in the seat. The dude's on fire and one of the true artists working in the studio system at the moment.
His films have a classical feel to them, not the off-the-cuff feel that seems to be the style of the moment. Contemplative, smart, but still accessible... that's Nolan's formula.
The below poster was dug up via the official site, which has one of those viral marketing games just like The Dark Knight. There's a lot of Dark Knightishness about this campaign so far... I mean, the below poster is framed exactly like the Dark Knight posters, except no Gotham on fire and Leonardo DiCaprio instead of the Caped Crusader. See for yourself:
The Warners marketing team are some of the best in the business, so I won't call that a rip-off and even if it is... it's not as bad when you rip off yourself. I think they're trying to subconsciously put that same excitement from The Dark Knight into the minds of Joe Blow Moviegoer, not the geeks like us that recognize the image from The Dark Knight campaign.
Or they just ripped themselves off. Either or. Still excited.
-Quint
quint@aintitcool.com
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gay.
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This gonna be good...
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This will be amazing. It will be the next word-of-mouth movie after Avatar.
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Overall it's looks pretty good
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But I want some kind of plot sketch before I'm hooked. WTF is this thing about?
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Joseph Gordon-Levitt FTW
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Font represents maze right? It's not just some tacky font.
And second, what they hell is that on or in the building to Leo's left. Shadow? Looks like bowling pins but that can't be it. -
They're nuts making it THAT blatantly similar. Nolan doesn't need cheap ass tactics like that. This movie is sold to me and everyone else here no matter what.
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In the poster -> Can't wait.
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thankfully i'm interested in watching films, not their posters.
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i've been waiting for someone else to give her a good part. she's great.
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Is going to rise and be one of the few directors who actually give a shit about their plots without the assistance of CGI (not dissing A V A T A R, which I do have tickets for).
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"The dude's on fire and one of the true artists working in the studio system"
Quint, pls ask your buddy Beaks why then THE PRESTIGE, BATMAN BEGINS, and THE DARK KNIGHT were all nowhere to be seen in his 100 best films of the Noughties? -
His pug face is growing tiresome
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...so, whatever with the Batman look...
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tall buildings, check. solitary character ie batman or the joker, check. something bad happening which probably doesn't actually happen in the film, check.
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in Nolan's Batman follow up. Am I wrong?
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the brain molesting, the eyeball rape, or the pigfucking?
either way, i'm high on cocaine. ooooh... that crime. -
You're in EVERYTHING and i'm sick of you. Sure, you're a good actor but i'm soooo fucking tired of your little podgy face.Take a fucking holiday or something. Write a book. Catch up with your friends. I don't care. I just don't want to see another twenty movies starring you in the next twelve months. I can't handle it.I...really can't.
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Holy shit.
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He's been right on the cusp and I think this might do it.
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You better have some eye condoms handy. I don't get to see it for another two weeks because I'm swamped with work. Lucky bastard.
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hope this is less boring than the rest of nolan's stuff.
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http://dearcinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/the-dark-knight.jpg
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don't go easy on that shit though when you come back. Tell us if it really was enjoyable, or hokey or whatever.
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ELLEN PAGE and LEO DECAPRIO are having sex. LEO stops suddenly.LEO: "Should we be using this condom? I seem to remember saying that we shouldn't."A FLASHBACk begins set twenty minutes earlier. ELLEN is taking off her clothes. LEO is inspecting a condom.LEO: "We shouldn't use this. There's a hole in it."ELLEN: "Remind me again what the doctor said about your short term memory problems?"A FLASHBACK begins set forty minutes earlier.ELLEN is using a needle to put a hole in the condom whilst LEO can be heard downstairs on the phone.ELLEN: "I really want a little baby. Hee hee hee."A flashback begins to an hour earlier. ELLEN is buying a packet of condoms from a store. She seems to be having trouble finding her purse.ELLEN: "I wonder what i did with my purse?"A FLASHBACK begins to.... oh, you get the idea now.
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FFS, he at least threw Memento AND Insomnia in there. Prestige and Begins don't belong in any 100 list.
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Why did the board add spaces to the URL?
http://dearcinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/the-dark-knight.jpg -
He doesn't even care man. That's sooo Money...
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Didn't realize that until now. Just that, he seems to be the one actor most frequently named for the possibility of taking over the Joker role in BATMAN 3, if Nolan decided he would indeed recast.
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That'd be pretty freakin' nuts!
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Awesome.
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right....yep,yep,yep WHAT THE FUCK IS ABOUT?!?!?!
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Dec 15, 2009 6:55:31 PM CST
...RAPED_MY_GERBIL, I forget if you're serious or a joke...
by flickapoo
...anyway, DiCaprio hardly makes a lot of movies and the ones he makes are unusually carefully chosen.And after the worldwide orgy of fame that was TITANIC he should by all rights be on CELEBRITY REHAB by now...
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"Looks fucking gay. DiCaprio is a fag."
"Looks like a ripoff of Minority report. Gay."
"This looks way better than AVATAR. Gay"
"Avatar looks way better than this. Gay."
"The water looks so fucking fake. Terrible CG. Gay."
"I can tell by the poster this will suck."
"I can tell by the poster this will rule."
"Meh."
"The decade doesn't end this year. Retards."
Did I miss anything?
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You fucking people are driving me insane with this JGL lovefest! He's a good actor! OK! Leave it be!
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Wow, I think that's the first time I did that in a TB...
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But I guess things could be worse, since they could've used a really shitty poster design to rip off.Call me a nostalgic mother fucker, but I really miss those painted posters from the 80's. Ones like those for Blade Runner, original Star Wars trilogy, original Indiana Jones trilogy, Aliens, Goonies, National Lampoon's Vacation, Beyond Thunderdome, Conan, Excalibur, etc... good golly, those were freaking POSTERS. The ones that are made for today's films, those are just posters.
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he's good but for some reason he has acquired this rabid fanbase. Same goes for Christian Bale (only this guy sucks now).
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just saying
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I'd take this more seriously.
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...from the talkback below...I love this stuff...http://www.agrayspace.com/posters/
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Uh-oh... this talkback just took a turn for the ugly...
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cool site. That Down By Law poster is amazing.
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Marketing types are sheep. They go with what worked before.
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...http://www.polishposter.com/html/sadowski.html
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Dec 15, 2009 7:23:15 PM CST
Titanic's success gave Dicaprio any role he wanted this decade
by bbbbeeeennnn
and I guess inception will probably cover him for the next.
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Worked last time with Nolan.
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Dicaprio in Batman 3.
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trust me guys the reason you don't know much about this is because we want it that way. but trust us the script is the tots Nolan might actually get his oscer for this one
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My first-ever IMAX3D movie experience happens in about 63 hours. WOOT!
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So this site has been hyping Avatar non stop for years, but nothing for the next Nolan film?I just don't understand it. Then again, this site barely covered The Prestige, one of the best films of this past decade.
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Batman: Inception
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I know Nolan would never listen to some random fan. If anything he'll go in the opposite direction. People were calling for Paul Bettany or Crispin Glover, and got Heath Ledger, which ended up being truly inspired casting. However, I don't want an over the top Riddler. I don't want a Riddler anything like the Joker.I want William H. Macy as a brilliant, but slightly off Zodiac-type Riddler. Watch Edmund and you see his dark side. I think you need a truly great performance to follow up Ledger's Joker.If anyone from this film moves into Batman 3, it will be Page it a Catwoman type role, or JGL doing a one-scene Joker in Arkham.
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See, I told you so!
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You're always full of shit and claiming to work on every movie in the world, for competing studios none the less.However, let's squash this one early. Everyone spread rumors for years that Nolan was secretly working on Batman 2 when he was doing The Prestige. He was really working on The Prestige. Nolan said he was doing another movie first, and wouldn't talk about Batman 3 yet. All reports are also that Heath Ledger's death hit him pretty hard, and that be blames himself partially. There is no way this is Batman 3. Batman 3 will come later. Anyone who claims otherwise is a poor liar.
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It's not Batman 3. It's the Inception of the Riddler. Batman's not in it.
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A few months ago, they leaked character names. This is not the Batman-verse. Not to mention if this was the Batman-verse, Warner Brothers would be hyping the hell out of this, we'd have prototypes of the toys, Goyer would be working on it, Jonathon Nolan would be working on it, etc. etc. etc.If you're going to lie, then try to make it sound remotely believable.
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Gotham is a big city. Do you really believe Nolan would have the Riddler's real name be E. Nygma?
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Watanabe is playing Saito, Page is playing Ariadne, Murphy is playing Fischer, and Caine is playing a professor. Again, try to make your lies believable.
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Again, Gotham is a big city and Batman is NOT involved at all in this movie. Why does anyone from the established "batman-verse" have to be in it? How do you top Dark Knight? You do something totally unexpected.
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I just went to IMDB and noticed that! Damn near the whole cast of Batman Begins. All that's missing is Liam Neeson, Oldman and Bale. Good cast on this flick, even if it has Murphy and the cute yet annoying Page. I still can't stand her after the pretentious P.O.S. which was Juno...but that wasn't her fault, it was the films writer, Brook Busey.
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I like that Riddler a lot. Team him up with a snarky Ricky Gervais as the Penguin and you get a puzzle-minded psychopath plus a billionaire mastermind. Definite dual-plot potential.
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...Guy Pearce. He just has to put himself together after being blown up and remember to call Nolan. I hope he tattooed Nolan's name and number on his leg.
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http://i50.tinypic.com/bf1h5v.jpg
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Dec 15, 2009 8:19:24 PM CST
"I think they're trying to subconsciously put the same excitemen
by ribbons
Isn't that just a fancy way of saying they ripped themselves off? Still, not bad.
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because it looks like there is a whole lot going on in that poster just in the peripherals
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...reports that the movie has a budget of $200 million dollars? What on Earth is making this Nolan cost so much? It certainly doesn't look like it's going to have end of the world epic scenes between LA to London, ala 2012. Are they filming with golden plated IMAX cameras or something? This movie literally has to make over $400 million just to break even, as theaters keep roughly 50% of the take, and that DOESN'T include the cost of advertisements and prints. So we're talking about half a billion dollars before it can potentially be in the black. Anyone else think that Nolan goes overboard with his expenses?
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AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!
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Love the all grey, blue and white tones. Just draws me to it. I also don't know anything about it and don't care to. Least of all the budget. I just don't think about those kind of things until AFTER I've seen a film.
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Perhaps its a tactical ploy on Nolan's part, Studios know he can bring in box office dollar so the will greenlight the 200 million dollar budget, yet at the same time if he comes in under the budgeted 200 million, the movie studios will probably throw more dough his way to direct future films......
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"Miiister Aaaanderson"
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Very film noir!
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looks like dark knight poster bitch bitch bitch. Bitch bitch bitch. Moan Moan Moan... Different thread same response. This site is proof that there's no god. Bitch bitch bitch. Bitch bitch bitch.
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Until I see a horrible, truly horrendous movie that has Nolan's name attached to it (and let's face it, that is highly unlikely), I will always be one of the first people lining up for his new movies. Dark Knight and Memento are so damn good it hurts.
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Dude he's one of the strongest actors in this cast easily. "Wind that Shakes the Barley" please. The thing is, these lame ass Hollywood films never let good actors speak in their natural accents. If they did McGregor and Murphy would have won some awards by now.
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Don't forget The Prestige, which is better than Batman Begins.
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know what it's about?
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But still, color me there for Inception.
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standing.
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But we don't know much about it either. I've read rumors that the "within the mind" stuff could lead to some very expensive, Matrix-esque special effects.
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I agree with the above. The Prestige of the best films period. JGL in Inception is basically just an audition for The Joker's cameo in the 3rd or 4th Batman.
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the film fell apart for me towards the final act, that and Scarlett's horrible performance. Otherwise it was alright. Definitely liked Begins, Memento, Insomnia and Dark Knight much more. Inception looks really interesting too. With a budget that size he better go all out on the "mind" shit.
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to film a horror movie. A straight up Lynchian Horror film. That would be the most fucked up and spectacular film ever. Why has it not happened yet?
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all this talk about big budgets just reminded me. Yep, that's right. Instead of moving on to the very interesting "Battle Angel Alita" project, he's filming some piece of shit suspense film under-water. FUCCCCKKKK
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I love that Ellen Page's character is named Ariadne, after the character from Greek mythology who helps Theseus find out how to get out of the Labyrinth. There's a hint I suppose.
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Whoa
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DO IT.
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That's why it hasn't happened yet. Mulholland Drive was one of the most irksome things I've ever seen.
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film. So would I. His other movies are scary enough as it is. And Mullholland Drive is one of my favorite movies ever.
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but Eraserhead is a genuinely creepy fucking movie. You may not know what to make of it (I'm not going to pretend I know what Lynch was going for) but it will certainly make you unsettled.
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I heard the first hour is intentionally slow developing because it was supposed to be a TV pilot for his next Twin Peaks-esque series. The studio refused to air the pilot, so he wrapped the whole concept up very early into a movie.
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Because his films don't make that kind of money. It's simple. Now if he suddenly managed to make some amazing blockbuster hit that makes $400 million at the box office, then the studios might be more inclined to offer him a lot of his next great opus.
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Dec 15, 2009 9:21:40 PM CST
Mullholland Drive was the shnizzle
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
But Lynch is a disturbed fuck!
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more Nolan = ass in seat
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Just did not have a very satisfying ending
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Tell us how ya really think! But that Care Bears line made me giggle.
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Its not like Seinfeld did it better or anything. But he did pull that performance outta Heath, so I'm curious to see what he does w/ Leo.
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Right back at ya motherfucker! Get r done!
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Brokeback Mountain (performance) > The Dark Knight (performance).
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in 3D! Holy shit, man that would fucking rock. And I'm being totally serious at the moment.
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Dec 15, 2009 10:11:09 PM CST
Remember that shit about hidden images in the SPIDEY 3 poster?
by yackbacker
That was fucking annoying.
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I will be back tomorrow.
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You mean the Heath Ledger who was nominated for an Academy Award the year before? Oh, but it wasn't for a superhero movie, so I guess it doesn't count.
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lol. Isn't that the fucking truth.
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Should just be part of the code for AICN talkbacks. Right after "Your Comment:" it should say "In my opinion". Because far too many of you make nasty, aggressive comments under the guise of speaking for all AICN talkbackers. You don't. Your opinion is yours alone. If you think otherwise you're even more delusional and self-centered than you already appear.
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That would be pretty fucking cool, I'm down with some HUSH action in Batman 3. Keeps it grounded in the real world, do some flashback stuff with them as kids, and you're good to go. Count me the fuck in!
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you people keep telling yourself that. And keep thinking that the Joker wasn't gay.
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The part where Sephiroth looks at you all angry-like through the fire then turns sword in his hand and walks off into the distance. Shit, just about like any other comic book/ anime/ video game poster/official/fan art. If they don't got their back to you, they've got their front to you closeup midway from the waist up looking past you over your shoulder. Didn't Lord of War have a poster version of Nick Cage standing the same way suitcase in hand with a bunch of ammunition around him??? Dark Knight poster my ass, at least Batman had a burning Bat-building behind him.
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Now that was some freaky shit.
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Still not seeing much of anything that says "huge blockbuster" or would attract massive attention or buzz, which is what they want, right, since it's being released in the summer... I guess it's still just a teaser. The pre Dark Knight viral stuff had the Joker, however.
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the bigger more extravagant films usually come out in May and June for the most part so that makes sense.
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While they are darn good movies, nay great movies, there are a couple of tiny tidbits which get me all jiggly, say Scarlet bringing nothing to the table unlike Bale and Jackman.
Whereas Memento and Dark Knight, I pretty much cannot fault one frame of that. Close to perfection from my standpoint. Dark Knight on my PSP is damn handy when youre waiting at Airport Terminals. -
Never!!!! Always leave em guessing. This poster is confusing me. Maybe the poster choice is out of Nolans hands, but that's hard to believe since RS got to choose his Hannibal poster art.
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take some parts Vanilla Sky and mix it up with The Matix, China town, and Dreamscape.
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Truer words have never been spoken.
Inception looks cool, and it'll probably be good. BUT for whoever was claiming Nolan would not use CGI, I recall the trailer to be a bunch of CGI dudes jumping around walls, no? Directors use CGI, big deal, get over it. -
yaaaaaaawn!
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I'm a big fan of Nolan, and this looks like really awesome... I liked the cast too... can't wait...It reminds me of Dark city and the paranoia of Lynch movies...
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because they are so darn good that the flaws are easily seen sticking out.
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The Dark Knight freakin rocks.
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http://www.yourmindisthesceneofthecrime.com
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Harry make it happen!!!
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Does he not? It seems like he does. Well, i believe you. You have an honest face.
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The best filmmaker in the last decade for me, am sure this will be outstanding.
I am of mixed views on whether he should make another Batman movie. -
the relationship in a couple,just like what Andalusian Dog was about.i think.
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Dec 16, 2009 3:49:44 AM CST
Yes, we MUST have an AVATAR review by Motoko
by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil
And it must contain the words "fucked", "eyeballs", "my" and then either "were" or "were not".It must also include a photograph of Motoko walking into the showing with blue facepaint on and a spunk-stained T2 t-shirt.
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Because this movie is made by a really talented filmmaker who has shown his quality time and again. Need i say more?
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I object to these baseless accusations.
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AsimovLives just made a post that didn't ONCE mention...*you know what*.Although it still alluded to it. You insane asshat Asimovlives! Merry Christmas to ya!
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Dec 16, 2009 3:55:01 AM CST
My most anticipated movie of 2010 bar none is...
by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil
KICK-ASS. I pledge to Motoko that movie to death on these very talkbacks over the next year.Oh, yeah!
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I forgot about how much i loved it until this very minute. I hope Guy Pierce is 'The Riddler' if they go that way.
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check out Drew Struzan, the undisputed king of the 80's painted poster. man, they don't make them like they used to....
http://www.drewstruzan.com/illustrated/portfolio/ -
Dec 16, 2009 4:11:42 AM CST
Agree with Asi, my most anticipated for 2010 as well
by miyamoto_musashi
Iron Man 2 and Kick Ass are up there, but at the moment Nolan is in a class of his own.
No.2 director of the last decade for me is Ridley Scott, but Robin Hood (yawn), Ridley we saw enough of that kind of action in Gladiator and Kingdom of Heaven, waiting for that untitled Alien prequel. -
for the absurdly low price of $7.60(tax incl.). It was $9.99 and then marked down 30% from that. Almost insulting to devalue a movie of such superior quality, but I didn't argue.The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of Guy Pearce as The Riddler. You need an actor who can effectively convey vast intelligence distorted through the prism of a sociopath. Ledger did it brilliantly, and Pearce can probably pull it off as well. No doubt he'd put his own imprint on it though.
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and Andrew Niccol are like twin brothers, did you ever notice? Even down to the suit. (And now Nolan forces Leo to wear the suit, too! Nolan and Niccol make suit films! Men in suits! They're a damn suit cult!)
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he needs to stick to directing
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Going to a 3D screening 9pm tonight UK time, will post here once i've seen it.
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A private detective, obsessed with mysteries and challenges is hired by a rich socialite (who is also behind a crime syndicate and known as the Penguin) to find out about Batman, to ultimately find out who he is, and to help him to be tracked down to. His alternate personality (unknown to him) meanwhile is creating challenges/riddles across Gotham.
No costume at all -
though not sure I can hold out till then
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But will be seeing regardless. Nolan direction has improved with every movie. If it continues Bat3 should be the first ever 3rd movie in a super hero franchise that will not suck (actually that wouldnt be hard). I say go future story! All the original actors will at some point in the next 2 years bail out or get locked up, die, find religion who knows.Clint Eastwood for the Batman (has a better chance of coming out of acting retirement than Bale coming back-mark my words!) recast for old Joker , and bring in Robin some kind of hero worshiping youth emulating the ledgend of the dark knight! Do it Nolan DO IT! there is nowhere else the story can go, you know this.
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Memento, Insomnia, Begins, Prestige, Knight... I love all of em.
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isn't too bad either.
Nolan's got class. -
could be a brave move, but have seen lots of people calling for it.
Can't see a modern Batman movie being better than Dark Knight, so a Penguin, Riddler movie etc could just be a movie for movie's sake (and of course for the studio to make tonnes of cash).
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After a disappointing last movie for Nolan
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You rebel!
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is still Nolan's best, followed by The Prestige.
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I'm only half serious, I dont love TDK like most people, but I dont dislike it at all.
In my eyes, The Prestige, is the best Nolan movie. -
People like to nitpick at him and his films because they want to sound jaded and cool. Can't wait for this.
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Whammy!
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Memento > Prestige > Dark Knight > Insomnia > Batman Begins > Following
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Dec 16, 2009 7:06:06 AM CST
Heath Ledger probably would have had the lead in this, not DeCap
by boynamedsue
Had he not bought the farm!
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I dont nitpick his films to sound cool, I only do so if I didnt genuinely like somehting he did.
Everything Nolan has done, has been on a different league to most of the drivel spewed from Hollywood these days.
But, TDK aint a perfect movie, and a lot of the reasons I dont love it spawn from Nolan.
I dont see how he will ever better The Prestige. I always forget David Bowie is in that movie until I watch it. -
This poster does tell me one thing for certain. That I'm not wasting my time watching this.
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are fucking retarded, I'm not saying a dark knight returns storyline wouldn't be cool film one day (and trust me there has already been a great script written and the films is further along in production then you think) but It would have to be a one shot, not conected to the current Batman franchise at all, nobody involved with it wants to limit the series by jumping over a big chunk of baman's career. The most likley scenario is after this current slate of films are done (nolan wishes to do at least 2 more) WB will likley produce a dark knight returns film before rebooting the franchise once again, but this is probabaly 10 or 15 years offNow odds are a DKR film would somewhat be tied into an existing batman franchise. Tim burtans superman lives deal also had a clause that he be allowed to direct a dark knight returns film, but he's recently stated he would only do it if Micheal Keaton billy dee williams and jack nicholson agreed to return and at this point WB is probabaly more interested in expandind the nolan universe which means they would likly buy burton out of the contract and attempt to sway nolan and Bale back
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Could this be the movie that actually holds up to the whole AS GOOD AS Dark City every geek clamors for with every sort of syfy movie ever released.
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Same goddamn poster
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...cuz of the greatness that is JGL...actually wait, why is JGL so great? I didnt really like that bank robbin movie but loved Brick and 10 Things...fugit, JGL is great!
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At lease DiCaprio, since Titanic, has not sold out and made disposable garbage (GI Joe....gee JGL was in that wasn't that awesome?) He doesn't go for the mainstream Hollywood blockbuster and I admire him for that. JGL is a good actor, I am not slamming him in any way, but Christ, GI Joe?? Come on JGL, you're better than that. But whatever, I just get tired of people ragging on Leo. He's a good actor and makes, for the most part, smart choices. But I guess if he was in the next Transformers movie that would be like so totally awesome huh?? Puhhhhhlease.
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I agree with ya. I am huge Dicaprio fan, Blood Diamond and The Aviator are fucking amazing movies.
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...my problem wit Leo is I have no interest in any of his movies...the only one I truly liked was the Beach, and thats more so cuz of my fantasy of livin on an island wit people and maryjane (and without smoke monster)...even Departed was forgetable to me...
...but JGL is a great actor, has that everyman quality, and appears in movies Im interested in seein...Ill excuse him for GI Joe cuz I know its gonna benefit him and his career...GI Joe sucked hard, but what they did to his face (and mask) sucked harder...JGL FOR PRESIDENT! TEAM JGL! I LOOKED OVER AT JGL AND HE LAUGHED SO IT WAS OK! JGL HAVING SEX WIT MORGAN FREEMAN'S STEP-GRANDDAUGHTER! -
...I cant stand Leo's face...not that he is handsome or anythin, just too freakin smug...he needs to be a villain in a movie then maybe Ill be interested in seein it...
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...does Leo remind you of a pug dog or whatever theyre called?
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...is anyone cravin a movie wit JGL and Lithgow? after seein Lithgow as Trinity, I wanna see these two get back together and act crazy (and not cuz they from another planet)...
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Was fucking awesome. It was the movie Transformers should have been. Blood Dimond sucked balls. "Where's the DIMOND?" "WHERE'S MY SON?" two hours of that, lame rip off of a Rambo helio battle, tack on the end from Happy Feet and thats the movie.
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Is getting close to becoming fucking annoying. Now that he's on everyones radar he's getting a bit full of himself. His SNL appearence was very self mastabatory.
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Guy pierce casted in anything is a brillant idea in itself. This actor is just pure class. And him teaming up again in a Nolan movie would be total awesomeness. I'm a big fan of guy Pierce since i first saw him in LA Confidential. He made the most unlikable of the 3 cops to be the most sympathetic for me. No small feat.
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...I dont understand how people can remotely like GI Joe but hate TF2...TF2 was good, had action, Shia was funny, and it was a blockbuster movie...GI JOE on the other hand, I got SO BORED DURIN THE ACTION I WENT TO BUY A $7 SLURPEE...worst movie experience ever...and I almost got into multiple fights at the theater lol......and SNL was terrible, to many songs...but hey, I bet he will be cast in a singin movie where he will FINALLY be nominated for somethin...JGL FOR THE WIN!
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Not complaining, really. I just think it's funny.
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I'd much rather see Clint Eastwood as the old-as-fuck Bruce Wayne, even if it meant serious CGI overload.
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He really is a truly talented actor, and he deserves all the kudos he gets. And please don't use Leonardo DiCaprio as an excuse to put down Joseph Gordon-Lewitt. Both are very good actors. And two good things do not a bad one make. We should be thnakful and happy that both DiCaprio and Gordon-Lewitt are both in INCEPTION.And least we forget, Marion Coutillard is also in INCEPTION, and if you ask me, that's a very good thing too, and only a fool would think otherwise about the lovely french lady.And, of course, Sir Michael Caine.
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...lets get Batman Beyond...the best reimagining of a char ever...but I guess its only cuz its already established in the DCUanimated world...but still, good show and movie
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Yes, it's weird people liking one and thinking the other is bad, when both are complete garbage. Though neithe rof the two is worst then 2012. Emmerich made the impossible this year, he made a movie worst then one made by Michael Bay in the same year. I never though that would ever be possible. Sight and wonders!!
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It wasn't my idea, but I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of Michael Emerson (Ben Linus) as a low-key, Se7en-style, serial-killing Riddler. He leaves GOOD riddles at the scene of the crime for Batman to find, as opposed to the stupid-assed riddles from Batman Forever. (Gee, do you think he means "a clock"?)
Really show off Batman's "World's Greatest Detective" side.
That could be one hell of a movie. But I doubt the studio would be interested in a Batman movie that doesn't have big explosions. -
Wear your Galloshes, China!
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Well I haven't seen Transformers 2, I actually am going to tonight or tomorrow. See growing up being a fan of both series, Transformers was the first movie going experience that "RAPED MY CHILDHOOD" it took everything I loved about Transformers and made it a awful slapstick comedy which lame action. So I didn't want to give Bay a second chance at my sweet sweet ass. But I gave GI Joe a shot, because I've gone back and watched the cartoon movie and realized how cheesy it was. And the movie fucking nailed the cheesyness and dumb fun of the original show. Sure if you want to be a dick about it you can complain about little differences but as a whole it was GI Joe and thats what I wanted to see. Transformers was only Transformers in name. Seriously in the cartoon there are only like 2 humans. Sure both movies are dumb, but at least GI Joe didn't have people like john turturro/Anthony Anderson/Jon Voight acting like retards. Seriously those three were the worst part of the first movie. GI Joe had shitty actors you expect nothing out of and they did a decent job. And Quiad and JGL did a fine job, didn't make fools of themselves. What I'm saying is that at least GI Joe was taken seriously, if you think its stupid that's a problem with the idea not the movie. The idea is stupid but its for kids and it was fun. Plus for a PG movie it had awesome violence, better then a lot of R movies I see.
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...Asi, so ya hate TF2 more so than GI Joe I presume wit that "Michael Bay" line...
...and I love Ben Linus, but I dont think he should be Riddler, seems to short and stocky...Guy Pearce seems a good choice but IMO think he a lil too handsome for Riddler...heres a CRAZY thought...what bout McLovin or Cera for Riddler? both very skinny, can pull off nerd looks, and can pull in the "tween" crowd -
It has to happen!
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You read it wrong. i dislike both GI JOE and TRANSFORMERS 2. Both are shit. But i admit, TF2 is worst. Still doesn't exonorate GI JOE from it's suckitude. Two wrongs do not make a right.
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Homer Simpson said so.
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For The Riddler. Whatever JGL is going to be the Vigilante and cause of a lot of deaths and put the blame on Batman.
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I can't believe the amount of horrible movies were made this year. It was a fucking disgrace! It's as if nobody learned a damn thing with THE DARK KNIGHT and IRON MAN. The major hacks were set lose this year. Unbelievable. Only a small handful of movies helped made this year bearable, and the only mega-budgeted of them was the latest Harry Potter. Wow, what a year!I can only hope next year will be the compensation for the suffering of this year. INCEPTION already looks the deal. Can't wait! Nolan, deliver us from evil!
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Homer Simpson is like Jessica Simpson: a retard.
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You have so much hate! And the newest Harry Potter was a disgrace to the series.
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...the greatest father of all time...I realized it when he got his ass kicked by Barts big brother or whatever...and speakin of Simpsons, Maggie is the best baby ever..."Maggie help, get Aquaman" or somethin like that lol
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Dec 16, 2009 10:24:40 AM CST
I suspect Pinguin as villain and Catwoman as the anti-hero of Ba
by asimovlives
Nolan wanted to use both for THE DARK KNIGHT, but gave up on the idea as the movie was already too crowded. Good call. Besides, Pinguin and Catwoman both deserve a movie of their own for them. So what if it has been done before in a Tim Burton movie? Last time Nolan re-used a villain used in a Burton movie, The Joker, it didn't turned out too bad, did it?
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The gloves are off now, pal.
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...it would be cool to see Catwoman and Penguin in Nolanverse, but not both of them in the same movie, that would be too weird...but I do think we need a anti-hero or vigilante in the next one...how bout Nightwing? played by who? JGL of course! I mean, come on, he can do backflips!
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...is the first 10 minutes he take down a villain like Firefly or someone like that...ever since seein Lethal Weapon 4 wit that fire guy, I thought ever superhero movie should do that...
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i don't give a shit what the Pothead purists say, as a movie the last Potter movie was really good, and that's all that matters. If the Potheads can't enjoy it, fuck them.
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...then Emerson can be The Riddler. Heh heh heh...
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I could see him as the Pengiun though.
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The way i see it, JGL would be The Joker as an Hannibal Lecter figure in Silence Of The Lambs, behind bars, but still dangerous due to his keen intellect, and Batman and Joker would pull a Hannibal and Clarice Sterling dynamic, if you know what i mean.I see Pinguin as a brillant criminal mind, a top tier crime lord who made his personal hobby hunting down and unmasking Batman, a Carmine Falcone but with brains to go with the brawl.I see Catwoman as a dammage goods lost child who, like Bruce Wayne, lost somebody important in her early years, but because she didn't had the support and the caring true friends that Bruce had (and his fortune), she turned bad. she would be like a mirror version of Bruce Wayne, but if he had gone bad. Catwoman not as a villain, but as atragic figure. and as both would see in each other a mirror image of each other, sparks would fly and a tragic love-story would begin between the two, condemaned to be both soul mates but also adversaries.But the thing is, i know for certain that whatevetr i could ever dream up, Nolan and his btoerhe can do something far better and clever. Batman Begins and The Dark knight atest to that, both movies are smarter and better then anything i could ever dream. Batman 3, i know for sure, will not be any different.IN NOLAN I TRUST.
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Sorry about insulting your religion, but i'm an iconoclast by nature. Sorry about that.And you might not beleive, but DiCaprio is a good choice to play a viking. Despiste his italian name, he's full german on his mother side (she was german), and he's half-german on his father side. One of his great-grandmothers was russian, and many russians are descendent form the Rus, who were swedish vikings who emigrated and colonized the russian areas. It's from this viking people, this viking colonists called Rus, and the place they lived in, that the name Russia cames from (Land Of The Rus).So, in this regard, DiCaprio might be one of the most apt people to play a viking in the whole of Hollywood, etchnically speaking.
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Nightwing is just Robin by another name. And Robin in the Nolanverse is just retard. No thanks.
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...um just cuz Leo stood on the front of a boat, doesnt make him a viking...unless he has a viking movie comin out that either I dont know bout or dont care due to Leo bein in it...
...I agree JGL would be PERFECT for Joker (its funny he actually along side the Joker...that and the Alex Mack...remember that show...man she was cute...but Im digressin) and hope that Joker could be in future installments, but think about it...Batman is a fugitive, Robin is an iconic character (even tho people hate him), so bring in the Nightwing char to please Robin fans...
...but your Penguin plot dont seem right...I dont know that much of him compared to all the other villains, but I see him more as a business man who tries to buy Wayne Enterprises (while doin dirty deeds underground)...your plot for Catwoman is good, like a female version of Harvey Dent's white knight to Batman's dark knight...
...and I agree wit Nolan creatin somethin better than we can imagine, thats why I try not to predict where the franchise is goin cuz Im sure he's gonna mindfuck the shit outta us...
...and a new Riddler choice for me (besides Cera or McLovin)...ELIJAH WOOD! someone mentioned his name in the Alice TB and I quickly see him as Riddler...imagine, the subtle craziness of his Sin City char wit the toughness of his Green Street Hooligans char...dammit, now I wanna see JGL and Wood in a movie together...PS: Im startin to think I need to change my screenname to JGL's Stepdaddy now...and maybe start sittin outside his house... -
With Heath. I hope this is good, and that watanabe is a substantial villain instead of just a decoy in batman begins; it worked out for the ra's al ghul deception later on in that film, but hopefully Christopher Nolan makes it up to him with this movie.
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being inside a mind, probably your own as a reality. To solve a murder or prove your innocence. It's a detective movie of some sorts, and the tag line suggests that the reality we saw in the trailer isn't really real, but rather a mess of what someone retains in memory from an experience. The tub scene in the trailer seems to suggest recalling a forgotten memory a moment of eureka. I slip into my own past all the time in my mind, and I actually feel like I'm really there. The only time this effect loses it's magic is when I try to examine the details of objects and people in these memories. If you accept the reality of your memory streams and you allow it to play itself out without studying the reality of it- It's totally believable, but as soon as you wish to know exactly what the floor tiles or wallpaper looked like in those old memories of your grandparents house or something similar. This augmented reality will end and you will pulled away from the illusion.
Even the films name seems to suggests the plot. Intercepting memories. So it's about a detective trying to solve a murder mystery by jumping in and out of his or other peoples memories of those events. Having more control over these worlds of recalled illusion is the reason we see people running up walls. -
...yea he is Robin by another name, but we should have a hero-type char chase after Batman instead of lets say Bane or Catwoman...I mean if we goin for realism here, then I dont think there should be European ninjas...
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Water main break.
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Dec 16, 2009 11:07:28 AM CST
ZOOEY DESCHANEL AS THE RIDDLER WOULD BE A MASTERSTROKE
by bringingsexyback
And who does masterstroke better than Nolan?
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...a master stroke would be Hit Girl bein Riddler lol...we know how much us AICNers love underage girls...and coincidentally she, Zooey, and JGL were in 500 Days...hmmm
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I have come up with a crazy theory and I want to know what you think about it. Maybe I am just a nut, but I can imagine that Inception is an origin story which includes or focuses on the signalman, a less known villain from Batman universe. Therefore, inception would be a sequel or prequel to TDK. What lead me to believe this? Well first of all, I have looked up the name Inception in the dictionary and found out that one of the synonyms for inception is Origins. So might it be that Inception really means: the origins of somebody? Secondly, Dicaprio’s character name Cobb, as it is written on Imdb, might be actually short for Phillip Cobb, which is the name of the Signalman. I have some additional arguments which could support this idea. Here they are (in no particular order): The new poster and viral campaign reminds to the dark knight’s campaign. I don’t think a creative and respected director like Nolan would use a similar approach to the dark knight just because it worked well the first time round. I would rather think that this is done intentionally, as to show the connection between both movies. Initially, I did not know the character Signalman, but after consulting with Wikipedia I found out that Signalman “noticed how modern society was regulated by signs, signals and symbols” and that he “went on a spectacular crime spree using those signs and symbols as his motif”. I think that this could be a hell of a premise for a Batman movie and could also fit really well to the whole Begins and TDK universe and as a clever answer to the public demand of the Riddler. Furthermore, this could also be in line with what we have seen up to now of Inception. When I look at the released marketing material I can find sings and symbols everywhere: The inception title on the poster is a clear symbol of a maze...the flood could be seen as a symbol of drastic changes…already mention the name inception which can be substituted with origins…also some names are obvious symbols. The before mentioned Dicaprio…JGL as Nash, which could be a reference to John f. Nash and his game theory, which subsequently could be a symbol of Joker and his agent of chaos theory (so are we looking at the joker origin story?)…Cain’s professor, could be a reference to Alfred…and somebody mentioned already what Paige’s characters name stands for…. the trailer at one point the shot focuses on a spinning object (peg top?) which is spinning than it falls to the ground. Is this a symbol of the moment of the turning point (in Jokers or signalman’s life) and the clock counting down is maybe the symbol for the start of the TDK movie.
If we focus also for a bit on the slogan from the movie and poster “Your mind is the scene of the crime”..You can notice that it is not saying “his mind” but rather “your mind”. I think that is a message from Nolan to us the audience that we have a riddle (crime) in front of us and that we should try to solve. I also found one picture of the batman comic-book which included signalman and its title is “The Signalman of Crime”. Therefore, could not the signalman be connected to the crime which the poster is talking about?
So this is my (not fully developed) theory. What do you think? As I said, there is a great possibility that I am just a nut and that what I have written is total rubbish. But wouldn’t it be such a mind blower and game changer, if some of this would be true (even though I cannot imagine how could they keep it a secret for so long)? Ingenious!
Cheers, five5u5
PS In case somebody already published a similar theory, let this be just a letter of support to the original author
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...that is a crazy theory and doubt it is true...ya got good evidence, but its Hollywood...they wouldnt do somethin like this...maybe if JJ was involved but doubt Nolan would
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Dec 16, 2009 11:25:47 AM CST
So, have we given up on Mister Reese being The Riddler?
by royston lodge
I'm surprised nobody's brought that obvious bit of Nolanverse mythology back.
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Catwoman should be a mistress to a powerful political figure running or holding some position in office for gotham. He drops her to prevent an incident with his wife and the media. She threatens to make his ties with the mob and the penguin public. He sends some mob figures to rape and kill her, but she escapes. She breaks into his house- he's not there, just his wife and her prized cats. The catwoman kills the wife and the cats and makes a suit out of their skins with the wifes face as the mask part. Her agenda from this point forward is to destroy him and the penguin. Robin is a wannabe crime fighter. His father was a policeman who was killed after pulling over a speeder. Robin uses police band radios and wireless webcams to monitor the city. Problem is Robin uses the same violence the criminals do to punish them, and he kills them more than he subdues them- Depending on the nature of the crimes they are committing when he arrives on scene. When he finally does bump into batman and he tries to join him in a bust em up. Batman subdues and cuffs robin and explains to him that he's no better than the element he fights. Batman leaves him and the criminals there for the cops to find and arrest. Robin is found guilty of several murders and he is sent to a max pen. He is beaten and raped many times. He winds up in solitaire. In the cell next to him is a guy without a face. He cut his face off and removed his teeth and fingerprints during a riot. He took control of the riots and kills most of the inmates who refused to join his team. He ordered every dead inmate and prison staff body to be burned to ash. Because of this, no one could figure out who he was/ who he used to be, when this riot ended. He defeated the system from inside. They call him Enigma. He starts to chat to Robin through the bowl. Together they plan an escape. Robin wants revenge on the Bats. Enigma has plans of his own.
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maybe we'll get a leo viral campaign..coughs
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with photoshop and made daddy the Batman. unoriginal fucking Hollywood marketing idiots. jk looks fine. who cares if its a rip.
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Dec 16, 2009 11:39:53 AM CST
Just in case anybody doesn't remember the poster in question...
by royston lodge
Here's a link to the The Dark Knight poster:
http://tinyurl.com/lk55mh
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Heh heh heh...
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Love him or not, he sure picked the right guy (Christopher Nolan) to do a summer fliq with. And I love the fact that Christopher Nolan's name isn't hogging a lot of space, he's not cramming his identity to us like m night, he's seemingly content with letting people know this fliq is from the same guy that brought us The Dark Knight.
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Dec 16, 2009 12:13:02 PM CST
BRINGINGSEXYBACK'S MIND IS THE SCENE OF THE CRIME!
by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil
We have to look in there to find out what he did to the missing Lockesbrokenleg!
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Would be my two cents.
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...anybody think step-granddaughter lover gonna be in the next Bats?
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Dec 16, 2009 12:27:58 PM CST
JETL what's the scoop on BANE as part of Bat 3
by jeangrey_x23_lesbosex
spoil it for m
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Bright Star/D9/Invicitus/Avatar/Lovely Bones all being with held for the moment: 1. JJ Abrams’ Star Trek
2. Sam Raimi’s Drag Me To Hell
3. Judd Apatow’s Funny People
4. Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air
5. Prachya Pinkaew’s Chocolate
6. Jody Hill’s Observe and Report
7. Lee Daniels’ Precious
8. Lone Scherfig’s An Education -
Dec 16, 2009 1:13:59 PM CST
I SUSPECT LOCKES BROKE HIS COMPUTER WITH TYPING OVERLOAD
by bringingsexyback
I'm sure he'll be back once it's fixed.
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Inception will own us all. Stop being whiny jealous bitches and bow down. The only other movies that get my cash next year are Tron Legacy and Book Of Eli.
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he's already started crafting the character, he plans on dropping to an unhealthy weight to portray the character as a skizophrinic insomniac pshycho killer. he will also be using his natural accent and not an american oneMr reese will be dealt with, riddler will have him killed along with other gotham citizens as part of one of his first riddles (this will leave batman wondering if the riddler knows his true identity or not. An important sene from the Hush storylinewill be used in the movie (he fell)The female role will be talia Al Gouhl, but it is not a full role and she is more in the backgroung working with scarecrow to take down the batman for her fathers deathI can confirm that firefly is out completley and deadshotis looking to be droped in the next draft (nolan wishes to save him for a fourth film)
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I don't know how he fucked his career, but he seems to have done it. Unless people really liked him in Bedtime Stories.
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You've already admitted in previous talkbacks that you're making this shit up as you go. Why put so much energy into shit that isn't true? Why not actually post opinions like the rest of us talkbackers? You must be truly insane.
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I'm surprised your manager at McDonalds lets you onto the computer so much.
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Dec 16, 2009 2:18:22 PM CST
Series7 VS JettL in a Tables Ladders and Chairs MATCH
by jeangrey_x23_lesbosex
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I don't know JettL seems like a Juggalo, and would probably just shot me.
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was more than solid. It was well acted, beautifully shot, and perfectly paced.
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...nootch.
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The one it seems Leo could be looking at has a weird perspective to it. All the other buildings line up and that one looks like it doesn't belong. Any architects in the house? BFD? Trip, trip, trippin'?
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I seem to be the only person who has seen that movie but i thought it was pretty good.
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I've been taking Defence Against The Dark Arts lessons at Hogwarts to ensure this.
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Pinguin as a top mobster is not my idea, it's Nolan's, which he almost used for THE DARK KNIGHT, until he cut him out of the movie because the movie was already too crowded with characters. Smart man.
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“Global Governance Agenda” At Copenhagen
WWW.PRISONPLANET.COM -
WWW.PRISONPLANET.COM
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The robin groupies should realsie, once and for all, that nolan doesn't like the Robin character, and with good reason. It's a testement to his intelligence he's so averse to use the "boy wonder". If you Robin groupies wnhat him so bad, go watch Batman Forever and Batman And Robin. That's how a Batman movie with Robin looks like. Me, i pass.
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Inception can't come quick enough.
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By this logic, Dark Knight's poster copied Rocky V. And probably a million other posters.
http://www.impawards.com/1990/posters/rocky_v_ver1.jpg -
http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/189738.1020.A.jpg
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http://www.apple. com/trailers/paramount/iron man/
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Nolan can do no wrong... in my book or yours, damnit.
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that's all I'll be talking about next year. Fuck Kick Ass and Iron Man 2, I can see myself forgetting about them a few days later. Oh and also I'll be moaning about James McAvoy being Bilbo and James Cameron picking "The Dive" as his next project.
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BTW, 33,617th.
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The UngrammaticalNolanback stole the top spot from AVATAR.Rise! InceptionPosterFromTheMakersOfTheDarkKnightPosterback, rise!
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So, what were we talking about?
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http://tinyurl.com/ybnw89uYour neighbor's an uptight Republican who goes to tea parties deploring government "socialism" but sees no reason the government can't dictate you put a robe on.
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because you're an athlete which always draws chicks. Then, Sixies said something about an envious donkey.
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negative reviews?
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December 18th, 2009 @ 3:25 PM"My pal (and occasional AICN contributor) Mike Russell sent in this rather detailed review of AVATAR a few days ago, but I held it back because it's a) loaded with spoilers and b) mixed-to-negative."
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Don't forget to do your part to keep X-Factor out of the #1 spot on the charts!
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and it was quitting time. BTW, I actually did not intentionally intend to reference the Michael Jackson movie. I just meant, 'This is it! This is 10,000!' And the last time I got the 10,000 post it was about New Moon.
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Fuckers! We got the Number 1 Talkback, Mutha Fuckas! 10068 Posts, Bitches!
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in your hiatus.
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Or, it can take the holidays off, too. Whichever. We all know we can meet back up here in the New Year, no matter what.At the very least, you all have to post your reactions to AVATAR, here, so I'll find them.
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I was waiting for that!
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with my son...avatar in the night maybe...
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that will take getting used to..
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I thought for sure you'd gone to see AVATAR.
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"blink and you miss it" here. It's been awhile since we've experienced that.
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conversations again.
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And, what about THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG? You haven't seen that yet.
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or did anybody else go out for dinner tonight and it was fucking ballistic? every place was fucking packed...tried to go to my fave mexican restaurant and i couldnt even find a parking space so we went to my second fave...stoopid holiday parties and people getting drunk before i get off work...had to get my shit to go cause the boys werent having it, which means my wife wasnt having but the margs and cervezas are flowing at casa seis amuleto del demonio. i guess ill have to figure out a list that were keep this place cozy over the holidays...or i ould finish the disney project....
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maybe i'll take him on sunday..
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we'll know soon i suppose
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one critic says UP IN AIR the other HURT LOCKER...if i skimmed correctly.apparently worst dvd of the year is MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS...whodathunk?
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it's not necessary to be in the Top Ten TBs every day. We'll all enjoy our holidays with our families - disproving Ass_Tastes' theory that we have no lives - and reunite here and be bigger than ever in The New Year.I think maybe I'll get a new handle.P.S. I'd never have thought we'd've hit #1 today, but we did. Right as we hit 10K, too.
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Lady Lambergaga?
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fox is playing at one fucking theater...seriously that came out one month ago..FUCK AVATAR! that fucking cocksucker and twlight took FOX and WTWTA from me...sons of bitches..the whole lot of em. they called down the thunder well now they got it...muthafuckas!
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I hope Tulsa has a better selection, because my Mom and I have a Day-After tradition. She'll want to see whatever Meryl Streep is in, and there had better be at least one alternative!
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and then did best comeback album...best pop album..best rock album...EMPIRE STATE OF MIND best single...BTW.YYYs had best rock album i think...or alternative...something like that...PINOCCHIO got best dvd
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i mean its do-able but they dont have cheap times and its about thirty minutes away...in midtown...i live in the fucking burbs..and with WTWTA..im gonna have to chance it (IF IM LUCKY) at a dollar cinema...i didnteven think those existed anymore...i thought they all converted to bollywood cinemas..at least down here...
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since you won't be around much tomorrow, and I leave Sunday, let me wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Final Day of Channuka, and Grand Kwanzaa. Spread it around if you see any of the other Pedalbackers.
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its got steve martin (whos not clowning this time) and alec baldwin (id love to hang with that dude)and streep...and im actually surprised that its rated R...i know i know that shouldnt matter but its nice to know that they can make mature films for grown up...cant wait for the unrated cut on dvd of it though...
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to show at the $1 theater. I caught it by luck, too. It was only there one week.
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but i'll be here...im talking out of my ass...i'll probably skip the film and go sunday or soemthing...but yeah have a great holiday and come back using this handle so we know you made it back in one piece..
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Because it will be nominated for Best Picture.
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Smaller monitor won't do it true justice.
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I'll make sure of it.
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the way they distribute and screen movies these days. The options seem so limited. Is it just me?
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Subtitles...off.
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yeah it seems that the cinemas getting bigger but they're just playing the same three films...if youre gonna have 30 screens, why not throw a bone to spike jonze or wes anderson...
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not impressed at all..it looks like they made the depp character a lot bigger...its a shame that of the three i saw at work clash of the titans was the one that i was most impressed with...iron man 2 looks...well it looks like they're gonna fuck it up..i hpe not but thats what the first impression is...part of the charm of the first film was that nobody was expecting it to be good or at least entertaining...that was a competetive summer..but it was fun...they really need to up their game...
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avatar is playing 24 hours a day at one theater...they have a fucking 3 am and 7 am showing...nuts...
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Damn, this is MUCH better....I can actually type in real time now...What a great Christmas gift....Thanks, Guys...
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...clips...every fifteen minutes for the last 3 hours at every commecial break on every channel I have watched.Just sayin'...
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All praise Nolan and his poster-makers...
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Hate the lesser volume alcohol beer, but REALLY want to break an Indian Casino...
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Will be back tomorrow for the Cowboy's ass whipping by the Saints...Till then, brave Pedalbackers...
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We have had a lot of disagreements. but i'm happy to know that you take Nolan and Mallick to great esteme and you are highly expecting their two movies for 2010. It's good to know we can agree on some issues. Which is a good thing. As yiou well said, 2010 will be the year of INCEPTION and TREE OF LIFE. Can't hardly wait.
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Hey friend, how are you? Long time no chat. Off topic to this talkback, but are you going to watch AVATAR? And how much are you expecting INCEPTION? For the later, i can't hardly wait. In Nolan i trust.
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Wanted to congratulate you on 10,000. Sorry I missed it.
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Sorry to send you over to AIBN, but I think they like the traffic.
http://tinyurl.com/ycex32z -
These thing will now die on the vine until he comes back. And just when you guys moved to a TB my computer can handle.
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Dec 19, 2009 9:35:15 AM CST
I wonder if all the Anti-Robin people will have a heart attack
by continentalop
If Nolan decides to use him?
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I'm actually going to see this thing now. Before reading your review I had almost zero interest. Like you, I have little faith in Ritchie, while I did really enjoy Rock N' Rolla and some of his previous films. I think the commercials play up the worst aspects of the movie. Unfortunate about the lack of a strong villain; this is one of my biggest pet peeves of an action film like this. How awesome would an Aliester Crowley-like Big Bad have been? I love Rachel McAdams, but agree she doesn't seem to fit in here. Here's a question: Why don't they go with English actors for roles like these? I know, they think McAdams is a draw in America, but what about the British audience. Does Ritchie dislike his own people? Again I know: probably out of his hands. On a related note, Conti, what is your opinion of "The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes", my personal favorite Holmes film of all time? Did you dig the great Billy Wilder's take on the detective as much as I did? It's cool if you didn't. Apparently I am in the minority.
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Howdy Asi!
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I am counting on you and Teddy to get The Ultimate Infinite Earth Crisis Gauntlet Zombie Lantern Saga going while I'm away drinking nog and avoiding miseltoe.
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Bruce Wayne is Batman.Dick Grayson should wear his own clothes.
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Dec 19, 2009 11:28:03 AM CST
Stabby, Rachel McAdams "Americaness" doesn't bother me
by continentalop
Her character, Irene Adler, is American. Born in New Jersey (per 'Scandal in Bohemia'). My problem is that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle thought that a classy woman would come from New Jersey.
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One would assume that Bale would have to quit, since that is what he has repeatedly said he would do if there were a Robin in the Nolanverse, and pedal-backing - good enough for Gary FACKING Oldman - might be considered unprofessional.So, that's another reason to root for (or against, depending) Robin.
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I'm working on a lil project involving the USHFC (Ultimate Super-Hero Fighting Championship).
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of the Jersey musclehead popping the Jersey girl in the mouth from MTV?
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I just hate his friggin' performance. I think he has the look and chops to play him, but talk about all the wrong choices.
in my world, Batman doesn't whine or pout. -
Christmas shopping for the unemployed and under-employed is a dehumanizing experience.
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has either of your or anyone else that may come in here today ever played Ultimate Marvel Alliance? I'm Christmas shopping for cool gifts. Wanted to know if it was any good. Mornin', Subs.
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Can you give us a link. And is the guy a total guido.
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I was over my friend's house and he forced me to watch it in between commercial breaks and periods of a Flyers game. Just dreadful human beings.
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God, I even know their awful nicknames now.
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I've said it before, I want to blame the writing and the over-all direction for the whining and pouting. But, to be honest, I've only ever seen Bale do one other emotion (and that's crazy, which some will insist would be perfect for Batman but would drive me nuts). And, as far as physical concerns go - in that suit, it hardly matters.
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I saw the clip on "The Soup" or something. Then, they showed a clip of the same douchebag, I think, opening his shirt to show his abs to Mike Tyson on some z-level award show or something.
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http://tinyurl.com/ycs984kFuck MTV!"I told him to calm down." No you didn't, you sweet little mouthy mobster princess.Certainly, sometimes a guido's gotta choke a bitch.Violence is never a solution, kids.
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!How is it possible to be so self-deluded?Here's the entire thing, with the punch edited out.http://tinyurl.com/ya4nfm7"What are you talking about, bitch? Those aren't for you! Get your ugly ass out of our faces" translates to "Please, sir, calm down, and we can mediate this like mature adults," in Jersey-ese.
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But, then I see Bruce Wayne as a spoiled man child who never grew up and has a very Black & White view of the world and a fixation on justice. He's a big kid who likes to play with big dangerous toys and basically has no concept of his own mortality. Every outing as
Batman is kamikaze suicide mission. -
"Yah? Oh geez, I dinnin know. She looks like Joey Bag-o-nuts from the neighborhood. Oh, damns. My bad. My mom's gonna have my gooch, you know?"
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sans beer. At least I got my Netflix streaming.
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would a spoiled man child with a kamikaze fetish mope around so much over whether or not a girl liked him?
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And that woman was hot-as-hell Kim Bassinger-as-Vickie-Vale, not some mousy Scientology zombie or Maggie Gillicuddy.
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That dude should get a Medal of Honor.
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I thought MTV scripted all their horny-twenty-year-old-drinking-and-fucking-binge shows?
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But at the same time it is wrong to talk shit and then hide behind then "You can't hit a girl" code.
It is a fucking social contract. We promise not to hit you as long as you promise not to act like a lady. And why is MTV linking to domestic abuse websites? This isn't the same as being in an abusive relationships. -
He did a great adaptation of the Death of Gwen Stacy.
To bad it was for the wrong character. -
Act Your Age sites would be against MTV's mission statement.They've been out to prove young people are stupid animals since 1980-something.
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inadequacies as a man. Bruce does not have a high level of emotional intelligence. So, yeah, i can see him moping over the love of his life who he is incapable of having a healthy relationship with.
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Dec 19, 2009 12:07:59 PM CST
I've got no issue with Nolan's Harvey Dent - Two-Face.
by subtitles_off
Except for that unfathomably bad ending.
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Promise to act like a lady.
The way I wrote it you would think that every girl coming out of finishing school would be looking at a long hospital stay. -
"inadequacies as a man?" Really?I'll buy "inadequacies as a son," even, "inadequacies as a good friend," but I don't think Bruce Wayne has an issue with the size of his own dick.
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when in a public social situation with young gentlemen, it is best not to wear panties beneath your loose skirt. And, always, always keep the most demure expression upon your face while spreading your legs.""Head-mistress?""Yes, Sydney?""That doesn't sound quite, um, proper.""Oh? Not quite? Young lady, I'll remind you, I am the head-mistress and, I am well aware of how young women have successfully comported themselves through the years. There is a reason your parents sent you to this school. Am I clear?""Yes, ma'am."
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the refresh rate has allowed us to have several simultaneous conversations.It'll take a bit to get back to speed.
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Is if Batman was so spoiled and self-absorbed, how would he have the willpower to mold himself into Batman. I mean, he is arguably the world's greatest martial artist and detective (at least in the comics) who backs that up with extensive knowledge of science, driving, disguise, multi-lingual and is a well-honed athlete.
Kind of hard to imagine a spoiled rich brat pushing himself to become that. -
Spoiled rich brats hang out in bars and punch whores.
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It's what I do.
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She's orange.Of course she is. Orange goes great with the jet-black of her hair.
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this thread, we have to weigh in on the poster.Thoughts?
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Which is good, because it is keeping me at a rate I am used to.
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Life. In the palm of your hand.
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Whore puncher
Isn't that just the Frank Miller version? -
he does what he does out of vengeance for his parents death. Not that there is not a nobleness to his vigilantism. I'm not saying that he is not completely devoid of merit. And there are plenty of self-disciplined people that are hiding or running away from some deep-rooted issues. I don't think that there is any doubt that he is self-absorbed. The fact that he chooses vigilantism instead of working for the law is very selfish. Only he can determine what is right and wrong.
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to publish "All-Star Batman & Robin, The Boy Wonder" as "The God-damned batman & Robin, The Boy Target."
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As seen from a self-absorbed, new millennial perspective. I actually read it as self-sacrificing. And, I disagree on the "vengeance" aspect as well. His delusion is he can prevent others from feeling his pain. i don't think he's really out for revenge. if he were, he'd be more likely to pull the trigger.
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My shift key has been telling me to fuck off for weeks.
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I like the fact that it is the back of DiCaprio. Kind of risky not to show the face of your A-Lister. Of course his name looms large above. Like Beaks I know nothing about this movie. have not seen the trailer. Why is there ankle-deep water in the middle of the city? I am a little intrigued, but then it makes me think of Katrina, which kills my imagination.
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U2's "Moment of Surrender," Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind," and Springsteen's "Outlaw Pete" as the songs of the year. Are you kidding me?
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also kills alien invaders.
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I'll let you know what I think.
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also named this thread.The InceptionPosterFromTheMakersOfTheDarkKnightPosterbackLong and awkward, I know but funny as hell.Water is also used to put out fire which was featured in Nolan's last big poster. All things are connected.Stew on that, geekdom.
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That was one of the most stupidest sci-fi ideas ever.
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and the one after that, Dirt.
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I really dug it. One of my favorite French thriller/crime movies.
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who's stupid now
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no harm, no foul.
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The aliens are smart enough to invent inter-stellar spaceships but can't invent the flintlock, or even a nail with a board in it.
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you're gonna hold that against those aliens, what must you think of the aliens in D9 who have the technology vital for their survival, but they throw it away necessitating years of dumpster diving among human garbage to get it back?
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Nice order.
I like when I put a vagina in my penis. -
the War of the World aliens who soncentrated all their efforts on universal conquest instead of the formula for Zicam?
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I think I'm turning Guido. Thanks a lot, Subs.
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all aliens are dumb. Even E.T. comes from a world where botany takes precedence over physical fitness.
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I have no interest in Snarfworld. Probably won't see it until I get back to LA.
Of course, I had no interest in Sherlock until I saw it (free screening) so I am willing to eat crow. -
Ouch. Mine is content just to get a vagina ON it.
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It looks so damned VAN HELSINGish.
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of the Cowboys' season.
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your average Extra Terrestrial. Do you think E.T. returned to his planet and brought junk food to his people?
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Drew Brees is a Purdue alumni, so he's my boy.
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I haven't seen District 9 (yeah, why am I on a geek site) but I think you can at least rationalize the other aliens.
WotW: written in 1900 so it gets a lot of passes because of our limit of knowledge. Plus I always saw the Martian invasion as not a well planned invasion but the Operation Iraqi Freedom, planned by the Donald Runsfeld of Mars. And you could even argue it was a desperate measure, invading Earth because something had happened on Mars to force them off. They're facing extinction, so they are just barrelling ahead.
As for E.T. Short answer: short bus field trip. -
I'd never have to leave home.
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turned his compatriots on to make-up and feather boas.
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God, I hope we don't discover Neo-Cons when we find life in the universe.
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I thought it stopped dead at 10,064.
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I don't think I'm going to until after I see it.
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I was planning on calling it Shitlock. But it was good. And I'm a big Holmes fan. I have the complete canon by Doyle. The amazing thing is that this version is much more faithful to the source that Batman or the new Bond are. Even the fighting doesn't go against what Doyle wrote (might be over empasized, but doesn't contradicts).
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Even if you can't read 'em.
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Instead, I just hug an old teddy bear and make pretend my life is like Christopher Robin's.
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His taste are completely antithethical of mine.
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Holmes is like Tarzan or Frankenstein's Creation. Most of us, maybe to our discredit, whatever, think of the Hollywood version before the literary version. This particular Hollywood version of Holmes, to someone who only knows Holmes as Basil Rathboney, seems like he's all hopped up on Mountain Dew and annoying as fuck.
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Or how James Cameron's eyeball raping game changing technology gave cunnilingus to Harry's wife so that he didn't have to that night, which was good because he threw his back out that day trying to pick up spilled popcorn from his wheelchair while he watched the movie.
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I look at Harry's reviews. Which is different than reading them. So, I didn't really lie. I never get past the first paragraph nostalgic gobbledy-gook.
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who ought to know better.
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The thing is Subs, that the new one isn't all just amped up action. I think the add campaign does a disservice because people are gonna think it is all action, and it isn't. To me, the best parts of the film are the interaction between Holmes and Watson.
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And why do I feel guilty listening to people shoveling there sidewalks while I sit inside and let my sidewalk pile up. Sorry, but it's still snowing. I'm only going out to shovel that shit once. I don't care if it's going to be a bitch digging out a foot of snow.
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It seems to me digging yourself out of a foot of snow requires no more enrgy than digging yourself out of two inches, six times.Or, there's me. Twelve inches? Fuck it, I don't have anywhere that important to get to. I've already got booze in the house.
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"Who's your daddy and what does he want?"
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as we pass ourselves.Is this what time travel might feel like?
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he thought this was a new talkback.
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dis-serve the film, it's unfortunate. It indicates a distrust with either the material or the audience. And it deflects the casually-interested.
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Scroll up. He's right in there with Ass_Tastes and the other (expletives deleted).
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I just shake my head at his double-standard.
Nolan can change anything he want in the Batman myths and that is ok, and anyone who complains has no taste.
But Abrams changing anything in the Star Trek mythos is sacrilege. Double standard. -
not the discerning film aficionado (I'm gonna start using this word instead of Geek to describe myself because I'm a pretentious fuck.) And it's working just like the marketing campaign for Avatar. I know several people who said that Sherlock Holmes looks awesome based on those ads.
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is that he is not even a Trekkie. And his hate extends beyond STINO to include anything J.J. Abrams is involved in. I think he just hates Abrams.
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Those people who think HOLMES looks awesome based on the ads are likely to be disappointed, if we're to understand 'Lop. So, that's a big FAIL for the ad campaign.On Asi: There's no requirement for him to be any more or less consistent than any of the rest of us. But yes, 'Lop, it's true. Nolan is just as guilty of playing fast and loose with the source. Asi just doesn't give that much of a shit about Batman. None of the Nolan faithful do. They just want this Batman to be less gay than Schumacher's Batman. Frankly, I believe that's the limit of their concern.
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Everything Nolan is great; everything Abrams sucks shit.
After our debates on subjective vs. objective, I would say he is secretly Steve Ditko pushing an Ayn Rand Objectivist philosophy, but he's from Portuguese. -
No matter what. Even if he's full of it on any particular issue.Anybody who can stand against the onslaught of Geek-group-think is cool with me.You have an opinion. You defend it. Until they can convince you otherwise, you stand. And when all they can volley at you is more of the same-old, same-old, you spit in their faces.
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Oh, brother, are you in for it now.
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Well he might suck less dick now, but I doubt even Kilmer or Cloonet whined as much.
I can imagine those two telling Bale to "stop acting like such a pussy." -
I've never felt like his opinion questioned my taste or challenged my intelligence. Asi, for example, never told me to grow testicles and be a man, for example.Much of the anti-Asi rabidness is based on insecurity. The tendency for internetians to gang up when they smell blood, combined with the instinct to insult back when insulted.
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exemplary.
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I meant he's Portuguese. Remember, I'm posting from an iPhone.
I don't mind he has his own opinion and sticks with it; I just don't like it when he ia condescending towards others opinions. Remember when I suggested you could do Dick Grayson and make him fit the Nolanverse? His reaction, no matter what, is that "Robin is gay." -
And act like he is suprised I would want something that stupid.
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Robin IS gay. The idea of a sidekick IS gay. But, your point is well-taken. I guarantee, if Nolan put Robin in a movie, Asi would say it was the greatest Robin, ever. That's the definition of consistency.On the other hand, I can love MEMENTO and hate BATMAN BEGINS. Either I'm inconsistent, or my consistency is based on something other than the "Nolan-ness" of those two movies.
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you two traded thousands of words over THE ROAD. I don't know who said what where, but that would've been enlightening.
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with Bale.Keaton - arguably the least macho of them all - would've just kicked the pussy in the ass and arched his brow with real contempt.
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I think a boy sidekick is ridiculous but take these things into consideration:
1) Robin wasn't made for adults but the kid fans of Batman. He is a child wish fulfillment figure, not something that challenges adults sexuality.
2) Without Robin, Batman wouldn't exist. He would have been cancelled in 1949, like every other comic character. Robin made him popular enough to survive that (Sales doubled right after he appeared) and gave Batman an unique identity: it was a hero with a costumed young sidekick. We might not like it now, but it wad a popular concept for decades.
3) Without Robin, he is just Zorro, The Shadow or The Spider. Since those characters don't really exist anymore we want Batman to fill their place.
4) After seeing Sherlock Holmes, I can now say that a male partner doesn't have to mean gay.
5) I hate the idea of a costumed underaged sidekick, but a pupil doesn't bother me at all. The idea of a student/mentor relationship is something I think works and could be cool; Bruce meeting a kid just like was at 8 and helping him follow his same path (other paths might be much more self-destructive) to someday take his place. -
You didn't kill me. The hold music almost did though.
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Like I said, I don't mind Asi. Overall, he is rather polite and isn't trying to start fights, it is just his way. I just prefer not to get in discussions with him. It just leads to bitterness.
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1.) Child wish fulfillment is not what The Nolanverse is about, is it?2.) Batman is not restricted to 1949. Would've beens and should've beens. If wishes were fishes, we'd all be Aquaman.3.) Don't buy this. Batman is different than Zorro for reasons other than his ethnicity or his choice of companions. And, we're not talking about The Shadow or The Spider. Whether he's original or not, lettuce stick to Batman. A man, who lost his parents when he was a young man, and has chosen to fight crime. Is such a man likely to put a child in danger. Even, or especially, a parentless child.4.) Absolutely. I have a male I consider my partner, and I've never had sex with him. This is a confusion of the word "partner" brought on by modern arrogance, thinking the current conotations of the word are the definition of the word.5.) I completely agree with you on this. In fact, I believe it IS an essential part of the Batman mythos: How a man so wounded would relate to a young man in a similar situation. However, in the Batman mythology, that has lead to pixie boots, childhood wish fulfillment and, yeah, I'll say it, lots of gayness. it would take a careful hand to re-envision the "Batmannish" version of the mentor-pupil relationship, and, I'd argue, it would have to be steered so far from its "Batmannishness" that it would end up, necessaril, not Batmannish in the least.
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Drinking, grammar, punctuation and spelling do not mix.
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for the purposes of The Nolanverse, we can't just ignore Robin entirely. The Nolanverse is NOT the definitive Batmanverse. Never will be. No matter what the current crop wants to think. It isn't even definitive for our times. Because it is too dated, too contemporary, too stamped with millennial angst. It is too "of" our times and "for" our times. Batman is timeless. Batlander - he's timeful.Batmanster - he's, full-on, drug-addled libido.
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I'm not saying Robin should still be around, just that all these people who despise Robin but love Batman don't acknowledge that he has played a huge part in his popularity and longevity. Some people might not like Paul McCartney and love John Lennon. Well, you still have to admit McCartney was a vital member of the Beatles and he helped Lennon get his career going. Same with Robin. Give the fruity looking boy his dues for at least his historical significence.
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Just don't be putting done the guys who would like him to be in it. Sorry if it ruins your illusion that he is real, but news flash, he is still just a guy in a bat suit. Fucking relax.
Above rants not aimed at you Subs. Just directed at some of the diehard TDK fans. -
Is the new ephamish for looking gay, but maybe not gay?
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For Euphemism. Or a typo. You're call.
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Euphemeralness.
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acknowledges what you are saying about the idea of Robin being an integral part of the mythos.Just wish it weren't.Maybe EARTH ONE will settle the argument (not).
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Dark Knight Detective fan, but I dislike Nolan's Batman? Probably. To some.I find Nolan's preposterous. Trying too hard to be real. And failing.
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Earth P (for Pulp) and Earth C (for Comic Book)
On Earth P, The Bat-Man fights arch-criminals like the Joker, Penguin, The Cat-woman, Two-Face, insane actor Clayface and evil psychiatrist Scarecrow as well as gangsters, corrupt cops, murderers and other criminals, using only his intelligence, cunning, martial arts skills, and a couple of "weapons" in his utility belt.
Batman of Earth C teams up with his partner, Robin the Boy Wonder (and sometimes Superman, Batgirl, Bat-Mite and the JLA) to fight against supervillains such as Mr. Freeze, Man-Bat, Poison Ivy, Solomon Grundy, Mad Hatter, and the Joker and his partner Harley Quin (both armed with many hi-tech versions of novelty items), as well as mad scientist, aliens, monsters, and other weird criminals armed with his intelligence, acrobatic skills, and his vehicles and weapons in his utility belt, including Bat Shark Repellent.
The thing is, they are really the same universe; just depends what time of the day you look at it. Kind of like the blind men and the elephant... -
An intelligent combination of the two Earths you mention Except No Bat-Shark Repellent.
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It is like me and the Spider-Man movies. You don't want a completely faithful adaptation, you want THE BEST adaptation. And that means sometimes you can see the forest through the trees and see what some people are missing with these adaptations. Batman acting mopey might be Nolan being "realistic", but it is also going against the idea of Bruce Wayne using his force of will to make himself into the greatest of crimefighter. One step towards apparent realism is sometimes two steps towards inconsistent characterism and runs counter to the spirit and intentions of the character.
At least with Batman you've got a character who has been depicted a number of different ways: Golden Age, Silver Age, Post-Crisis, Earth-2, etc. There has only been one Spider-Man - how did they fuck up that? -
And the Vigilante, but it wasn't Earth 2? And where Catwoman would kill people? I think it turned out to be the world of the Super-Sons.
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It was just Batman being glib after he used some chemical mace to scare away from sharks.
You got to remember, when Batman is with Robin he smiles and cracks jokes. -
Well, as long as it's blue and red and we say the "great responsibility" thing.He's supposed to be kind of witty and care-free isn't he?Teen-agers are angsty, aren't they?I think they are.Aren't they?Weren't you?No, actually. But I didn't have to make my spandex suit seem realistical.Don't worry. We'll fix it in post.
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One of my favorite scenes from the 60's Batman movie.
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He smiles because he is no longer lonely. He has a partner and Super-Friends.
Pity The Bat-Man on Earth P. All lonely and By himself. That is why he doesn't smile. Sucks working cases by yourself. -
M for Muppet.
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It is indeed a great flick, Conti. I loved the ending. One thing I like about a LaConte film is that you are never sure where it's going or how it's going to end until the last frame. Very refreshing compared to the paint by numbers 3 Act restorative approach. I need some time for the film to sink in before I can share my full thoughts. I did read Roger Ebert's review of it and it's quite a good review. Reminds me of why Ebert is one of the top film critics.
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Don't look here:
http://tinyurl.com/y8w8atq -
Now, I'm just debating whether or not to go to the bar and pick up a couple six-packs.
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in peak physical condition and my mind sharp. Or, I could crack wise with a teeny-bopper in pixie boots while we have fun dodging gimmicks.""I can't decide."
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Because he has the balls to praise Black Dynamite for having a element that has been missing in movies nowadays. Gratuitous nudity.
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while I just sat here?HA!
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he doesn't have to be in shape. Because when he and pixie boots boy scale building walls they're actually climbing on the ground with a tilted camera.
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Had i only known. Was it you that said they worked on that movie?
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Try to escape a giant clam if you aren't in peak physical condition. Not to mention trying to recover from being encased in a surfboard or breathing while enclosed in a cotton-candy cocoon.
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I'm done though. My roommate is going to shovel it when he gets home.
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Aquaman can help put with the giant calms though. Or does Aquaman not have powers over mollusks. I don't remember.
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Isn't that a Wonder Woman kind of thing?
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GODDAMNED SHNOOKIE!!!
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The Bat-Man asks him why he is smiling.
Batman replies "Because life is great. I go on all these exciting adventures with my best friend, Robin, and I have all these friends in my life, like Superman, Batgirl, Commissioner Gordon, Alfred, the Justice League, and even the Bat-Men of Many Nations, and I am adored by millions. Plus I am good-looking, rich and get tons of gash? What more do I need to be happy? Why are you so miserable?"
"Because I am still haunted by my vow to avenge my parents murder and fight crime, and it is a lonely road. The only one who knows about my quest is my old butler Alfred who looks down upon it, and I spend most of my time hunting down murderers and psychopaths and criminals, and no matter what I don't seem to be making a difference. Plus the public hates me, the cops want to arrest me except for Gordon, who gets a lot a pressure to bring me down, and I never have time to see anyone. I once had a fiancee but we had to break it up because I knew she couldn't handle me being a crime-fighter, and the only girl who really gets me excited unfortunately works on the other side of the law - I can't compromise my beliefs just for some pussy (inside joke). Finally, I'm rich but I can't enjoy it - it takes a lot of time and effort to stay up to speed as the world's toughest man and the greatest detective. My life is a lonely and tiring quest."
The Bat-Man and Batman both looked at each other and thought the same thing, "What an asshole." -
Type at you when I get back.
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He always remembers he isn't Aquaman.
"Ha! I have a boy sidekick, yet he is called Aquafag! Ha!" -
I was gonna be good and wait 'til the Eagles game tomorrow, but I'm thinking: Snow, watching the Cowboys get their asses kicked, Pedalback, James Franco on SNL. All things better while intoxicated.
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Batman, what an asshole.
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Work on BD. When it comes out on DVD check it out and tell me what you think.
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I can always pack tomorrow.
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And Merry Christmas.
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Dec 19, 2009 5:02:31 PM CST
I'm right now trying to figure out my Pedalback project
by continentalop
UFSHC. 16-man tournament of DC and Marvel's toughest fighters, with round-by-round predictions.
Yes, I am on Christmas vacation. Nothing to do in the frozen tundra of Minnesota during the day. -
I've opted for one last beer run. I'll fly hungover. "You want me to take off my shoes? How about you just fuck DEFUCK off.""What?""It's lotion. Do I look like I'm an terrorist?""Yeah. Fuck you. Call your supervisor."
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The trailer looked funny as shit. Was anyone from MadTV involved? Because they used to do a blaxploitation parody from time to time that reminds me of BD. Style and humor.
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But she didn't have anything to do with the writing.
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Be right back.
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Gotta respect the commitment.
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I hope your airport experience is way better than mine was yesterday.
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and all for nuthin! i didnt do squat today..
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we dont mind ya pimpin AIBN...i check it daily..been loving those lists of genres.
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but i heard they cut the punch out..i like snookie...she looks like an old skank version of christina and she a little huskier...
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Fuck you. I'm flying from Indiana to Oklahoma. You know everything about me. You have access to my credit score. That's something I have to pay for. You know who I vote for. You know what I bought at the grocery store last week. Fuck you. Put me on the plane. Give me my fucking peanuts. Thank me for spending my money. And, oh yeah, fuck you.
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Batmanster ask "Why the fuck are you pouting?"
Batlander responds "Because my life is pointless. I have gone through time, living in each age in a pointless existence, just going through the motion until I finally arrive to my original time. Until then I have to embarrass myself by figuring out ridiculous ways to dress up like a bat and pretend that what I am doing is important. The sad thing is that I'll have suffered for thousands of years, but no one will car, and even I will never bring this up, trying to pretend it didn't happen."
"Why are you smiling?"
"Well I just did an 8-ball of coke, blew the Jokester up and about a hundred other people up, and raped Harley Quin and Gordon. But that ain't why I'm smiling. Finish your drink and I'll tell you."
Batlander downed the rest of his drink.
"Why than?"
"Let me ask you two questions: do you know what roofies taste like and have you ever heard of 'surprise sex'?" -
How is it going?
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Absolutely.But I don't keep my driver's license in my shoes.So, fuck off.
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But, no way it goes down like that.Batlander, having experienced even the scent of approaching surprise-sexing, sends himself, Terminator-style, back to five minutes before and sticks his boot in Batmanster's poo-hole.
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trying to see good family films this weekend to no avaILfantastic mr fox and WTWTA are no gos.
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No gos, why?
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because the pizza parlor was closed. Arabs ain't as dedicated to enabling Western European American's alcoholism as the Asians are.
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Going out to eat. Subs, 6DB, I'll talk to you gents later.
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I got my Yuengling Lager. Fuck the Snow!!!
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It don't matter the color of the man who sells it to you.
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Fuck the blizzard!!!
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He could be a blue Smurf cat for all I care.
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but the lager is so delightful. The Koreans have beer to sell, so the Arabs can go to hell.As long as there's corn for popping, and my baby's pants are dropping, I gotta ask myself why'd I pizza from an Arab guy?"
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(tapping snow off of boots at door)
Anyone home?! -
It's a party now. Sixies, Stabby and liqui-poop. 'Lop, c'mon back.
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And Stabster, and Sixter!
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We're #2! On AVATAR weekend!
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-Christopher Nolan
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Is it snowing in your parts?
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you assume a between "why" and "'d I."
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if you stick a "buy" between "I" and "pizza."Shit!
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and I do have boots.
How about for you stabby? -
Nudge-nudge, wink, wink.
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even if "my baby's pants are dropping" can go in several different directions.
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1. Its such a huge picture.
-Michael Caine
2. Leo can do more than furrow his brow and look depressed.
-Christian Bale
3. The werewolf tentacles will look good in 3D.
-Gary Oldman -
Get on your bootsYeahI don't wanna talk aboutWars 'tween nationsBossy bootsyeah"
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So, I guess it's possible for it to be snowing in someone's private parts.
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are the werewolf tentacles?I'll go for brown or gray. I'll even entertain arguments in favor of peach.Blue?Nuh-uh.No way, Joes.
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got ten of his dicks removed. The Freemasons were not impressed with Avatar.
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"Joes" makes no sense. Well, it may make sense. It doesn't rhyme. Which means it's as inappropriate as "No way, Steves."
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Imagine that. Snow in 3D. It was like I was really there surrounded by falling snowflakes.
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I'm actually planning on making a movie 14 years from now that features blue tentacle creatures from another dimension playing out a re-hash of 12 Angry Men.
But I have to wait for the technology to catch up...
I'm sure you understand. -
Vagina in the penis.That's our new thing.
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unless there's a girl in it and the 12 dudes put on gear and blow shit up at the end.
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surprise sex on film using Cameron's game-changing technology?
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was I just imagining things?"Dude! Check this out!""What, dude?""Bro, my EMF detector just went up to six.""Six?""Yeah, bro.""Whoa! That's higher than five!""Yeah, bro! Dude, it's almost a seven.""No way, dude. Bro! You think it's the little girl that died in the well?""This proves the paranormal.""No way, dude. Bro!" "Way, bro. Dude!"
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Bro!
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As sad as that is, JS has to be the worst show in the history of tv. BTW, I think that's where Sixes went.
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"Can you make a knocking sound?""Did you hear that?""I heard that, bro!""Dude!"I know! Right? Bro!"
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Ghost Adventures > Jersey Shore
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i've been hearing so much about?
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Ghost Adventures ON the Jersey Shore!Dammit, that's GHOST HUNTERS, innit?
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The first one is the video with the punch edited out. the second shows the punch.http://tinyurl.com/ya4nfm7http://tinyurl.com/ycs984k -
You've been warned!
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You've been warned!
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Two hours or so, from right now, some guido's gonna have ta choke a bitch.
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Batlander...HELP ME TIME TRAVEL!
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Every one of my good instincts wants to deplore it.
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that we have to be constantly vigilant against. If you can't even watch a guido punch a whore, how you gonna pull Catwoman's tail when needs be pulled?" - Batlander
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I saw it on "the Soup." He says, feeling all defensive for no reason and what not, gheesh.
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i'm against knowing about the existence of the show.
But I did ask. Rat Dicks. -
http://tinyurl.com/2rmba3
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I wish he had the superpower of public speaking without saying "pretty much" and "like" all the time.
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Dark.Harsh as the breath of a three-pack-a-day whore.Thug. Alley. Breasts where they're not supposed to be at this hour of the day.A purse is opened.Contents are strewn>My city screams.I remain silent.
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that was read at Obama's inauguration...except a lot better.
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Too slow.Damn these arms and legs.She looks at me.She's not a victim.Innocence is the victim.She speaks.I raise my palm.My palm says "ssshhh."A bat flutters against a street lamp's bulb.Thug.Knife.Too slow.Red.Wet.Useless."Why?" she asks.I don't answer.The night howls.I remain silent.
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and Subby getting all defensive, while I'm on the phone talking to my Mom.
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walks the downtown streets of Indianapolis. You could ask him where he's from.He wouldn't say.
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I tried to warn you.
-
But its too late.
-
and ask him what the allure is.
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for Star Wars Celebration III.
I enjoyed seeing stormtroopers walking the streets. -
Actually I'm glad you showed me that clip, because as I mentioned my friend forced me to watch an entire episode of the show and I really wished that someone would punch out one of these idiots and there it is.
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Not yet.I take the thug's arm in my hands.I hear the crack.That's the sound I like.I see the black streaks of cheap mascara on the whore's face.If I'd speak, I'd ask her why she's crying.But that's not the sound I like to make.The thug screams in agony.That's it.That's the sound.I find his balls and squeeze.He drops like a stone.The bat's wings cast shadows.The shadows hide my vengeance.Quit yer crying, whore.I want to say it.But, I remain silent.
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and i love me some Italian.
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actually its not bad...but it is kinda patheric..basically a huge reminder of why i dont miss (or remember) my 20s..but im no guido..those guys are fucking juiced up cavemen...and the girls are hot messes...seriously watch the first few eps...i think this last one was the third ep...and tell me why this shouldnt have been filmed before...
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1. Hair that defies all reason
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2. Just because.
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Guido, to me, is the name of the main character in 81/2 one of the greatest movies ever made by one of the greatest directors, Fellini.
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The whore's still crying.The night is just as dark.The bat?Fuck the bat.This isn't Gotham.This is The Circle City.Round in circles.Violence.Pain.My city screams.If I could, I'd shut it up.I'm bleeding.I would say, "Ouch."If I were any other man."Thank, th-th-thank you," mutters the whore.I raise my palm.My palm says "shhhhh."Somewhere a dog barks.A cat cries.A car's brakes squeal.I remain silent.
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4. This enables and rewards douchebags like this for their douchebaggery which sends the wrong message to our children.
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I know it's not your fault. It's your old ladies. My last girlfriend got me to watch America's Funniest Videos which I deplore.
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"Can I help you sir?" asks the young man behind the counter.Mr. Silent answers, "..."
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and ive seen the future and we are fucked..
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Even though you know it's gonna be totally gross, you gotta look.
-
Dec 19, 2009 7:29:08 PM CST
how did america's funniest home videos make it this far?
by six demon bag
that shit used to be the craze back in the saget days...as long as there are stupid people out there that send them in...
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"What are you standin' there like that for, all like a homo and shit, sheesh?" asked the orange girl with the jet-black hair and the plastic titties.Mr. Silent replied, "..."
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Every kid growing up today is gonig to expect hir own reality show. And they can have it with YouTube.
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that by the time hollywood got around to making superhero films they were no longer in the silent era.
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and let the Camorra deal with them.
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"Cue?," asked the co-star, a gorgeous red-head with giant hooters and gams up to her neck, her gown, sheer and tight, clinging between her legs, the only thing between you and knowing whether she was a natural red-head.Mr. Silent replied, "..."
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Subtitles: "Mmmm, the carpet matches the drapes."
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Some kind of mime?" the guido asked as Mr. Silent stood between him and the bitch he wanted to punch.Mr. Silent answered, "...""Fuck dis homo right here," said the guido as he cocked his hairy, tattooed arm.
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I never had the NHL channel so i thought I wouldn't be able to watch the game. But I decided to try it anyway and IT'S ON. WTF. Not complaining although earlier this week I noticed that I no longer get G4 so i can't get my Olivia Munch fix.
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"He boke my node. He boke my node," the guido squealed like apussy."Howz kin I evah repay youse?" the bitch asked Mr. Silent.Mr. Silent said, "..."
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because Guidos don't have body hair. They are completely waxed and Naired.
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Might be a short game for me. Might be a Muppet Christmas after all.
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Nailed it!
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Bale finds Mr. Silent distracting.
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That you did.
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or who the fuck is mike russellthose are my next handles if i EVER get banned.
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Mr. Silent is, like, 4 foot 11"?
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written by Frank Miller. Better known as The Fucking God-Damned Mr. Silent.
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That's my next handle. I got ya beat, 6.
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Where's Cheeses?
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I gotta launder and pack.Happy Christmas!I'll check in if I can borrow my niece's lap-top.Peeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaace!
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restrain all the testosterone of the writing style before breaking down and letting out a vein popping scream of "THIS IS...INDIANAPOLIS!"
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Have a good launder and pack.
Peace! -
Time.The willing mistress of Age.I don't have time for Age.My city.My rules.Fuck The Patriots.The night is my lover.The night cums all over my chest.Every night.The whore says something as I take to the sky.Stupid bitch.Should learn to be quiet.You have to be quiet.If you want to listen to the night.The darkness is loud.For those with ears.A cab honks its horn.A pimp yells at his girl.That fucking dog again.I remain silent.
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Mr. Silent cums all over The Night's chest, dammit.Mr. Silent ain't no queer.
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Fuckin' Romo!!!!
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a vagina in his penis. Every night.
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The rest are still here.Bye all.
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Who's N0.1 in the NFC East? Also, how's it going?
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The only thing he loves and hence the only thing more powerful than him.
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Almost like they had been faking how bad they were in the last two games just to surprize the Saints tonight...
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Not to take any wind away from your sail, but...
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I thought of you while I was watching it.
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But, I heard you already saw AVATAR...how are your eyes?
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No...haven't seen it...is it nasty?
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but I don't have SyFy.
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But, My doctor gave me this cream that cured it right up...
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Whodatt!!!!
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I watched it streaming from netflix so it was free. i wouldn't waste a rental on it unless your really interested in the topic. First, it's not about the swinger movement in America, it's very specific about one of the 1st swing clubs in New York in the 70's, Plato's Retreat. It focuses mostly on the founder Larry Levenson, the self-proclaimed King of Swing, who Al Goldstien says was stupid, never read a book and was only interested in genitalia. Goldstein (Screw Magazine) was one of his best friends and is no genius himself. Yes there is full frontal nudity and sex from grainy B&W footage from inside the club. But it is peppered throughout the movie in quick bursts so nothing lingers long enough to warrant wood. Also, many of the people are average to unattractive, although there are some decent girls. Real people, not porn stars. But, mostly get talking heads of people like Annie Sprinkle who frequented the club. And sprinkle is one of the more attractive of the bunch. If you are interested in the beginning of Swinging and the Plato's Retreat more specifically I wold recommend it. For free it was definitely worth the less than an hour and a half of my time. I did find it interesting.
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I, myself don't mind hair. It's odd dating young girls today and every single one is shaved bare, which turns to stubble once you start seeing them for awhile. I prefer at least a landing strip.
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No perfect season for NO.
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Dec 19, 2009 9:28:38 PM CST
Stabby...Swinging is cool with the right people...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
But there are so many variables and you have to cater to her wants and balance them with your needs and attract the other her while she attracts the other him...Imagine a regular hookup, times twelve difficulty...I lived the Playboy Forum dream...But, once the testosterone starts to fade, it's all just a fond memory of something you used to once enjoy...
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The women were basically in control.
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Dec 19, 2009 9:35:30 PM CST
I just had that same argument with my daughter, Stabby...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
Marriage was invented and instituted by women...They have the pussy, man...that is more powerful than a loaded gun..
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to hear that conversation. Why were you arguing. Were you trying to convince her that she has the power? I thought most dad's taught there daughter's that there pussies were made of gold and that they should never give it away unless you approve? So glad I don't have a daughter.
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just a discussion as she is transposing boyfriends and the true nature of romantic love...
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she turns 30. Fun and Career first.
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her biological clock is about to expire...if she wants to be a world famous Belly Dancer...She needs to have a kid now... I just laugh at her...
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Fuckin' Romo made it happen...I still say the last two games were thrown games just for this spectacular display of pwnership...Did I even spell that right?
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A registered trademark of Nazareth Cheese, Inc...
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Hehehe. I think I may register the St. Louis Yams myself.
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Vengeance!!!
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He's looking for Neo.
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Leonardo DiCaprio as The Riddler. "INCEPTION" is the process of beginning. As in "Batman Begins...Again" Also, rhymes with "deception". Also, INCEPTION is an anagram for NOTICE NIP. Ken Watanabe is in this. Ras Al Ghul. As well, an anagram for TIE PIN CON. Obviously, the "?" tie pin hidden by the framing. It's so obvious.
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http://tinyurl.com/cuboth
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There are times when I hear this, that I honestly wish this song would come true. I work a crappy 3rd shift job at a big box mart, and between the nightly hassles, and all the crap going on in both the nation and the world, there are times I would gladly give up video games, tv, the internet, cars and processed foods if all the bullshit would just stop.
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But if DiCrapio is The Riddler than I'll shit myself. I want the Riddler to be the next Nolanverse villain, but Jude Law should be Riddler.
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Nonsense on your accusation on me. I think that what Nolan did for his Batman mvoies was respectful and accurate to a great degree to the Batman myth and what had been extablished. What the Nolan movies invented on their own can be fit into the gaps of the Batman myht that had rarely or never been dwelt before.What Jar Jar Abrams did was a complite shitting and pissong on Star Trek and everythign it once stood for. And all served in a terribly badly made movie.Yiou know why i praise everythign Nolan does and piss on everyting that Jar Jar Abrams does? Becasue everything Nolan had made so far is good. While Jar Jar is an expert in making shit. I'm nopt going to invetn a bad thing nolan never did for the sake of "compensation". Nor i'm going to start lying by claming there's any quality to Jar Jar when none is to be found. Nolan does gfood stuff, Jar Jar does shit stuff. That's it. I call it as i see it.
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Dec 20, 2009 8:15:44 AM CST
And i'm fucking supprised people are claiming that Sherlock Holm
by asimovlives
That movie has fucking failure writen all over it. It will be a shock if the movie actually was any good. So far I see it as this year's VAN HELSING. And when VA HELSING was released, there were many perople in here claiming it to be good and praising it and calling all those who had not enjoyed it as party-poopers and not able to have fun. You know, the typical excuses that people who love shit trown at those to call the shit movies for what they are.
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Because it's being directed by Christopher Nolan. Yeah. Never disapointed me once so far. IN NOLAN I TRUST.
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O' Christmas treeO' Christmas treeHow ample are your branches?So colorfulAnd so smell-ySeason spiritEnhancesI bought you after ThanksgivingYou're not artificialYou're livingYou're the first thingMy guests will seeThere in the denNext to my TVO' Christmas treeO' Christmas treeSuch a fucking hassleLights and bright accessoriesSome tinsel and some tasselYou drop your needles on the floorAll gussied up like a Jersey whoreI'm late to catch a plane, I'm out the doorWhen I get back, you'll be no more.O' Christmas treeO' Christmas tree.
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AwwwHEYYLLnawwwhhhhhhh! I thought we were done with all those movies where the characters stand around being told that their reality is a virtual reality but the real reality is the other reality but then it turns out the virtual reality and the real reality are part of a third bigger reality and the ending of the virtual reality and the real reality are the beginning of the new reality which is half virtual reality and half real reality but then the dream reality of the virtual reality to turns out to be connected to an ancient reality but then the real reality turns out to actually be the virtual reality and the virtual reality was the real reality except a drug hallucination reality dream reality crazy person reality all along.Now we're getting TWO of those movies in the same year and BOTH OF THEM STAR LEONARDO DICAPRIO
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Well considering the fact that I saw Holmes, reviewed it, and then discussed my opinion here, I figure the above comments directed at me. Well here goes:
Yes, the film does look like shit, but the film is good. I said so much in my review and in a post above. I had no confidence in the film when I went in, but Guy Ritchie suprisingly pulled it off. It is no VAN HELSING.
And if you don't like SHERLOCK HOLMES, more power to you. But it isn't a stupid-fun film. As I mentioned above, it is a surprisingly faithful adaptation of Doyle's work with enough inside reference to keep a Baker Street Irregular happy.
Not a great film, but a damn good one. 4 out of 5 stars. You might want to wait before passing judgement, otherwise you'll be eating crow like I did. -
Location location location.
I think my final, wittily crafted words never appeared on the last Pedalback thread... what happened to the old girl? Is it still sitting at 10070 odd or has it been wiped forever? -
Conti, I read you SHERLOCK review over at AIBN... professional. Guy Ritchie has an edge to his movies that makes the VAN HELSING comparisons ridiculous. His films still have mainstream appeal but they're never 'cookie cutter' (like VAN HELSING).
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So... AVATAR great film! You boys seen it yet?
I haven't seen that many movies in 2009 but AVATAR's been my personal fave of the year. Proper big budget entertainment that swept me along in the same way that the likes of JURASSIC PARK have in the past.
Admittedly... my opinion of JURASSIC PARK *now* isn't that high (I dont even own it on DVD) so maybe the same will happen with AVATAR. But for the moment I'll go on record as saying I had a brilliant 3 hours in the theater with this movie. -
I actually do not like Guy Ritchie at all. I've seen 3 of his movies, swore I would not see anymore by him until I saw SHERLOCK HOLMES. Still surprised he did such a good job.
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I've been unconsciously stealing your schtick when I go out. Last night I told this little drunk girl I was with "Puking does not exist in this dojo."
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Conti, haha!
I too am nursing a dojo-sized hangover right now, carouseling non-stop from 7pm-2am but made it through the night without throwing up (although did have a little 'something' extra to keep me going). Tis the season to be jolly after all! -
"Feliz 'Na'Vi' dad" this year...
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Fuck, just heard Brittany Murphy died. Overdose??
Now im feeling bad about my 'season to be jolly' comment...
Shame, she was quite a promising young actress. -
Damn. That sucks.
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Cocaine is a helluva drug.
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Maybe i should lie then and invent that Stanley Kubrick made some bad movies so to satisfy your notion of "balance", hem? Should do the same thing for Chirstopher Nolan, and start lying about some bad movie in his career he never made, hem? all for the sake of some bullshit nonsense notion of ballance? No, i say all Nolan's movies are good because EVERY MOVIE HE MADE is good. Ans Jar Jar Abrams makes shit mvoies. Deal with it. It's not my fault if you were fooled by the retardness of his SHIT TREK piece of shit and tyou think litle of Noaln's excelent Batman movies (for starters). And i say this with the due respect i have for you.
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I always thought Lindsey Lohan would go first...
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It is about consistency.
You criticize some Batman fans for being upset with Nolan for how he adapts Batman, insulting them and mocking them for their lack of taste or for being stupid. So what if he isn't faithful to Batman and have Robin, Bat-Mite, or any other of that cheesy shit, he makes Batman great and people should be happy with that. Fine.
But than you criticize Abrams and fans of the New Star Trek for not getting upset that Abrams has changed Star Trek mythos or for fucking up the character of Kirk or Spock ("Spock isn't an emo-pussy!" The same complaint many have about Bale's Batman). That is being inconsistent and cherry picking your points.
You want to say every movie by Nolan is good fine. Your opinion. I also believe he hasn't made a bad movie yet (but I do think he has made only one truly great move) but I don't think he has made nothing but flawless movies. I see a lot of flaws in some of his movies, TDK included. And I don't base a cult on him, or any filmmaker. No one bats 1.000.
Oh, and for the record Kubrick did make some "bad" movies. I think The Killer's Kiss is an interesting early film but falls apart, I think Full Metal Jacket completely falls apart in the second act, and I think Eyes Wide Shut is just a disaster (even his close friend Hubert Cornfield called it a "piece of shit"). -
But he had Star Trek as one of his top 8 films in 2009.
Go yell at him for being fooled by the retardedness of Shit Trek. I'm sure you can out argue him. -
The Killer's Kiss? Same movie as THE KILLING, Kubricks b&w heist movie? (cos that one I really liked).
ps. Conti and Asi you should agree to disagree. Last time you boys argued the posts escalated to biblical size. -
FUCK MY LIFE
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The Killer's Kiss was the movie prior to that. One of his first, low-budget indie film noir involving a boxer and a taxi dancer. Some really interesting things in it and visuals (fight in the manikin factory was interesting) but overall the movie was a let down for me. He should some of the genius he would later demonstrate in better films, but he also showed his inexperience.
THE KILLING is just awesome. -
I said so earlier I don't mind him. Dec 19th, 2009, 02:51:29 PM. "Like I said, I don't mind Asi. Overall, he is rather polite and isn't trying to start fights, it is just his way. I just prefer not to get in discussions with him. It just leads to bitterness."
Like you said, our debates lead to bible sized transcripts so I am trying to avoid into any big ones with him. -
I saw Mommy licking Santa's balls...It must have been the Cameltoe...Walkin' 'round in women's underwear...
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You can't even compare the respect that Nolan showed to the Batman myth when he made his Batman mvoies, with the cynicism and shallownedd and complete carelessness that Jar Jar abrams did for his SHIT TREK bulslhit retard movie. Hell, evne the guy himself admits that all his major inspirations for the movie came from STAR WARS. He says so endlessly through the movie's audio comentary. It's evne from the horse's mouth.What you don't seem to udnerstand is that i liked all the choices that nolan made for his Batman movies, which allw orked for the movies' benefits, and i detested every fuckign thing that the Jar Jar fuckass did for his bulslhit movie because every single one of them made the movie stupid and retard, and a complete pissing and shitting on Star Trek. And if that wasn't enough, the movie is bad, stupid and retard on it's own. Again, i ask you, why would i be any kinder to Jar Jar and even compare that inept shit to such a talented guy like nolan who has, so far, done everything right? and yes, this is from somebody that is neitehr either a Batman fan or a Star Trek fan, in the snese that trekkies or even you are for Batman. I can see that crystal clear. I can see in the nolan's mvoies the respect he has for the material, and he did his best to make the ebst possible movies about it. I can see in SHIT TREK, the complete disrespect and arenlessness that fucking Jar Jar fuck had when he made it. It's behond evident. So, in that regard, in where is my attitude any inconsistency?And about Cobra-Kai, frankly, i'm not recognizing him anymore. Ever since he knew i disliked Terminator Salvation, he seems to have grown a dislike for me which never before he ever gave any indication of. and all for the sake of Terminator Salvation. Of all movies!!! Still, i keep sayingto him,a dn you, that i still regard you both as fine gentleman in here, and you are of the few i realy have respect. If my words soudn harsh, that's because i speak with passion about the subject of movies. I'll not have any other way.As for robin, a subject very dear to yoru heart, i have always said this: in the Nolanverse, Robin just doesn't work. It's even retard in that context. In other popssible ways to tell the Batman stories, he could be in, like the way burton and Schumaker told their Batman mvoies. But not in Nolan's. That is something you really should acept and deal with.
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Watching Killer's Kiss knowing what Kubrick made afterwards, of course the movie will always look a disappointment, at the very least. It's like watching Piranha 2 after you have watched any of Cameron's Terminators movie or The Abyss. The mvoie's falws not only will be augmented, they will even look worst then they are.But watchign mvoeis like Killer's Kiss, is actualyl an exercise in optimism. It means that even genious can start badly. not every filmmaker, even the really good ones, need to pull a CITIZEN KANE for their first movie. Hell, Ridley Scott mannaged to make a very good first movie because he already had a lot of experience making adverts and TV shows. His real first professional job, episodes for the Tv show Z-CARS, show absolutly no indciation of the filmamker he was to became (though his first short movie, BOY AND HIS BICYCLE, do show a lot of promise).
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So I will keep it short.
It doesn't matter what "talent" level the director (admittedly Nolan is the superior), but one shouldn't be praised for changing canon while another gets lambasted. Why is it a great thing that Nolan does it, but a bad thing that Abrams does it? Oh, because Nolan is talented. If that is the case, you should have said earlier "I think Nolan made smart moves in what he changed", but you didn't say that in earlier discussion. You just ripped Abrams for screwing up SHIT TREK and ignoring continuity and praised Nolan for not caring what the fanboys liked. That is a double-standard.
You said yourself you are not a comic book fan or a trekie - well, than you can't really judge what is essential, now can you? You might not care about the character being consistent, but people who are fans might. "If it is good, who cares" might be a legitimate argument, but others can argue "If Nolan wanted to make Batman like this, why didn't he just make the Shadow or the Spider?" That is a legitimate argument against Nolan's changes in the character.
And Nolan has said time and time again the HEAT was a major influence on his movie; are you going to hold him to the fire like you do Abrams for using Star Wars as an inspiration?
I'm not saying that both movies are equal, or that Star Trek can't be criticized. Just that if you are going to criticize Shit Trek, make sure it is on the actual merits of the movie and not because of your personal dislike for Abrams. Half your railing against it is just judgemental opinion (how is " cynicism and shallownedd and complete carelessness" something you can truly prove? Or how "all the choices that nolan made for his Batman movies, which allw orked for the movies' benefits, and i detested every fuckign thing that the Jar Jar fuckass did for his bulslhit movie because every single one of them made the movie stupid and retard, and a complete pissing and shitting on Star Trek" comes across as bias personal taste, not aesthetic fact).
And I think Killer's Kiss comes across as better when you know it is by Kubrick. It lets you forgive some of the flaws, because you know it is one of his first films. But still, that is judging on a curve and giving preferential treatment based on who he is and will be, not on the merits of the film right in front of us. A future star football goalie might one day help lead his team to a championship, but you can still say he played like shit his first game and gave up 7 goals. -
I mean he is a decent director, but he knows fuck all pacing and about how to write an ending. See Prestige and Dark Knight. So excuse me if I don't slurp at the Nolan altar.
Abrams is a talented hack. He has some talent, but not enough to overcome his hackness. Still Nolan is more talented, but shit it aint an open and shut case. -
Let me present and imaginary scenario (I am not JettL, so I can't come up with "inside stuff" so I have to make shit up);
Nolan decides to direct one more Batman movie, and than produce the next two. He decides to make an outline for these next three movies, so the Producers can see where he is going. Here is his outline:
Batman 3 (7 for Scorpios) is going to be Batman taking on the Penguin. Batman is on the run from Gordon and the law, but still trying to fight crime. Because of this, and his recent loses, Wayne is feeling angry and bitter, and becoming indifferent to the people of Gotham and their plight. Enter the Penguin, who is going to take over the rackets and crime, becoming the new mob boss of Gotham. One of his lieutenants, Tony Zucco, however, is going to try to kill Batman, but in the process he botches the hit and kills a young couple right in front of their 8-year old boy. Batman stops the Penguin, but realizes that his coldness and indifference might have been somewhat responsible for that couples death. He can’t help but identify with what that young boy is going through…
Batman 4 picks up a short time later, when Batman is facing the Riddler. Bruce Wayne learns that the young boy who was orphaned in last movie is now 10, and living in a foster home, but is full of anger and rage. He also gets in fights with his foster parents, so he moves from home to home. The problem is that Tony Zucco is up for trail, and he knows that this boy was a witness to the crime. He orders his men to find him and kill him, leading Batman to come to protect him. As Batman he encounters this young boy and discovers that he is angry at the world. Feeling guilty once more, Bruce Wayne arranges to become the boys foster parent and at the end of the movie the young boy moves into Wayne Manor, that way he can keep an eye on him AND protect him from more hits from Zucco (who is in prison).
HOWEVER, when news that Anthony Zucco (don’t worry, he isn’t the main villain) is released because of a technicality reaches the boy, the boy plans on killing him for revenge. Bruce Wayne/Batman catches wind of it, and stops the boy from shooting Zucco (and Zucco is arrested or dies in the process). Realizing that he has to help the boy direct his anger, because he is after all just like he was at that age, Bruce Wayne finally takes him into his confidence and tells him his secret: he is Batman. He offers to train the young orphan, with the one strict rule – he won’t be able to join him or fight crime until he becomes the same age as Bruce was when he was Batman.
No Robin. Just Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne’s emotional doppleganger whom he can mentor and provide guidance. Now, can I ask you, how does what I just describe not fit in with Nolan’s concept of Batman?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldY2s9fxuPs
http://tinyurl.com/yaq3dyc
I'm going to Hell and I'm taking all of you with me. -
Rich dude 'fosters' a young boy with no family and no hope. Rich dude gets a hard on beating up criminals - male criminals. Rich dude comes home from beating up criminals - with a raging hard on, and Alfred is too tired to blow him, so rich dude moves on to next available male in his house - lil Robin. He splits him like a cracked egg.
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Well, you see, Robin- fuuuuuuuuuuck. I can't get that video out of my head. No debating from me.
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Dec 20, 2009 5:18:53 PM CST
Batman is the the most closeted homosexual hero in all of comic
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
He is a serial dater in his alter ego state, but that is just for show, cause that boy likes the swizzle stick.
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Batman 6 opens a couple years later, with the boy getting kicked out a boarding school (his 3rd) and being sent back to Wayne Manor, where the boy encounters Alfred. The boy never encounters Wayne, who he views as distant dumbshit, but is raised by Alfred (who has done this once before).
HOWEVER, when Anthony gets freed because of a technicality (he paid someone off) the young boy goes through the same anger that Bruce did to start BATMAN BEGINS and plans to kill the mobster. Batman stops the boy, defeats the master villain (whomever it is) and gets Zucco arrested once more (or he dies, killed by his accomplices).
Realizing the boy is very much like he was Wayne reveals to him that he is Batman, and offers to train him, on one condition: he won't be allowed to fight crime until he is the same age as when Bruce was when he become Batman.
How does that imagined Scenario not fit into the Nolanverse. -
Dec 20, 2009 5:51:47 PM CST
It idoes not fit because Nolan is a theme director
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
He likes black and white. Good vs evil. Dark Knight vs White Knight. And he beats you over the fucking head with it. Fuck maybe Nolan is the talented hack and Abrams is the visionary?
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http://vimeo.com/8260528
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Maybe you got rabies. Or you just need to get shot.
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Asi, you can always recognize me - just look for the dojo. Like a big old bat signal in the sky.
And if it puts your mind at ease you should know that I dont dislike you. In fact I think aicn would be poorer for your absence! -
Dec 20, 2009 6:21:57 PM CST
Hey Asimov, Cobra will hate you next week
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
He is wishy washy like that.
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What. The! FUCK! WAS THAT!!!!
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A few things:'Lop, I've always known what you meant.'moose, I had to look away.Scabs. You can buy some sort of salve to rub on them until they heal. You can pick at them and make them worse. You can ignore them completely. Usually most scabs will disappear on their own, but some leave scars. Ass_Tastes is like a scab."Feliz Na'vidad." Giggle, Smooches.Brittany Murphy is fucking dead. I only knew of her as a voice on "King of the Hill."My flight might have been the only one that wasn't delayed over the weekend.My niece wants her computer back."What is Ain't It Cool News?," she asks. I'm so proud of my niece!Later!
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Dec 21, 2009 9:32:01 AM CST
Well, if that aint the pot calling kettle black
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
See sub-moron, I had not addressed you in any way, I had not said jack shit to you, but you want to start something you pathetic attention needing, homosexual, pedophilic, jobless, friendless, shut in piece of dog shit? Then come on you motherfucker! This is all the attention you ever get in your worthless life, you fuckin suck it up like a whore slurps the cum off a drunks dick - in fact I am sure they give you a tip for your sucking capacity. Oh you know what, I take back what I said about you being a homosexual, you are the worlds biggest pussy. Swing on my nuts you queer queef.
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I know you do.
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Dec 21, 2009 10:51:34 AM CST
I think I'll make this TB my home base for now on
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
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I don't think Asimov's beef with Abrams and STINO is that he disregarded canon. I think he just believes that Abrams is a talentless hack with no redeeming virtues. Kind of like how most of us feel about Michael Bay. At least, how I feel about Bay. I don't think that Bay has any value as a filmmaker at all. He represents everything that I despise about the industry. And there is no convincing me otherwise about this. This is how Asi feels about Abrams and while I disagree (I think Abrams is overrated and average to mediocre at best) I know that it is pointless to try and convince Asimov otherwise.
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Posted from iPhone
THE SEVEN-UPS (1973)
Time is sometimes not kind. I remember this film as a kid as being an exciting and gritty action film; as an adult I see it as a boring and sloppy mess. Directed by producer Philip D'Antonio, the movie is a cop-detective story in the same vein as BULLIT and THE FRENCH CONNECTION (but not nearly as good). It stars Roy Scheider as the leder of the 7-Ups, and elite detective unit who play by their own rules as the go after big crooks and get them "7 years and up." Things get messy for the heroes when they become entangled in a case involving crooks kidnapping mobsters and holding them for ransom, but not as messy as the film itself. An interesting premise marred by bad performance, worse ADR, horrible music ques and badly paced, the films only redeeming factor is Bill Hickman's stunt car driving.
** out of ***** -
Do you honestly believe that J.J. Abrams is a worse director than Uwe Bowel, Michael Bay, Brett Rattner and Paul Water Shit Anderson? I think that Abrams did a competent job with MI3.
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I really don't think much of Abrams as a filmmaker either, and I have never said he is good. But I disagree with insulting people who like his films and I disagree with mistaking opinion for fact. You say that Nolan did a great job adapting and changing TDK but Abrams shit on ST, you're stating an opinion, not a hard truth.
I don't mind anyone hating Abrams and loving Nolan, I just get tired of it being a religious mantra. -
before anyone knew who Nolan was and he hit it big with Memento. In that low budget indy film you could see the elements of a talented director. But, I'm with Conti, as great as Memento and TDK were I don;t think he's made his masterpiece yet. I'd love to see him do a neo-noir (I know Memento was kind of one) maybe set in the future.
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imagine if someone kept telling you that Uwe Boll was a great director and that In the Name of the King was a masterpiece, when you know with every fiber of your being that this is just not the case. This is how Asimov feels about Abrams and STINO. Admittedly he does take it to obsessive compulsive extremes.
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Annoying all of us
But seriously, I will give the guy credit with logistics. The guy really knows how to run a big set and production, which is a tough thing to do.
He would have been a great 1st AD. -
Shady-looking Merfer. I really hope Scotland Yard checks him out. Why would he not want an autopsy? If he is involved he is an idiot for trying not to have an autopsy. I realize if there were drugs involved then he could be trying to keep that from getting out to protect her image, but a 32 year old dying of cardiac arrest definitely warrants an autopsy, no matter what, Put Horatio Cain on the case.
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But A) if he wants to change minds, he is going about it the wrong way. Calling people "idiots" or insulting the intelligence of the film and the people who like it isn't going to win anyone over. If anything they will shut you out. No one likes to have their taste questioned.
And B) sometimes you've just got to shrug or walk away. In the grand scheme of things people liking bad movies isn't the end of the world. War, crime, poverty, and threesomes are all more important. Why waste the energy arguing over aesthetc taste other than a passing hobby when you should be trying to convince twin sisters to be in a ménage a trois with you.
If anything, I am suggesting to Asi to change his tactics. -
When the end result is a bloated sloppy mess onscreen then I don't see the point.
The unfortunate thing is that his stuff sells and so there is no incentive for him to improve his storytelling and it also sets the bar low for the industry as a whole. -
A lot of people like crap. Now we can shake our head at these people and wonder how these people can still be allowed to breed, but we also should realize a lot of people are what I call "Film illiterate." That isn't to say all people who like Bayformer movies are, but I will say I think a lot of people who like his movies are like the people who buy books with illustrations - they like the drawings, hate the words. Bay cut out all the words and just supplies the cool pictures. So I can't get to upset at people who like his movies, or even Bay for supplying them.
I CAN get upset that he makes a shitload of money from his comic books without even word balloons, and that he has a huge fucking ego for basically making cinematic lava lamps. Fuck, that is depressing. -
but I kind of enjoy AsimovLives obsessive dedication to trashing STINO, even though I liked the film myself, and his endless diatribes and arguments with other TalkBackers, including yourself. His case is well thought out and miles beyond the typical It Sucks/It's Awesome discourse that is the norm on AICN. Plus, I've never known anyone who can take so much abuse and not flinch. I kind of respect the guy even if his hatred of all things Jar Jar Abrams borders on the psychotic at times.
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I criticized Asi for sounding condescending, and that last post really sounded condescending.
On "film literacy", I mean a lot of people just aren't that into movies. They don't care about story, character, acting, mise-en-scene and montage; they only care about the spectacle. They are like casual sports fans - guys who want to see home runs and big plays.
Best example is those people who are fight fans and the casual fans of combat sports like boxing and mma. Casual fan just wants to see blood and a bunch of big punches land, he wants a bloodbath; the serious fan enjoys all the technical aspects (oh-my-fucking god, did you see how he is using his legs to keep his opponent from mounting him? Awesome). -
And that is why I have decided to boycott anything Bay-related. I will not give a dime of my hard earned money to that hack ever. I know, Bay-apologists would say, 'Like he'll miss your money.' Well, it has nothing to do wit Bay and his fortunes, it has to do with my personal integrity. I realize this means that I negate my right to criticize a film I haven't see, but I am so much more the richer for not having wasted 3 hours of my life. And honestly I don't enjoy trashing movies as most people here do, because as you said it is depressing that something so bad can be so successful, especially when it has been proven that Big Budget Blockbusters don't have to sacrifice story or quality to make money. That's why I like Nolan and what he's done with the Batman franchise so much.
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I think TDK was pretty good (B or B+ from me). I just have different sensibilities and outlook on the character. He is "missing" certain things in the series that is driving me nuts.
But I will give Nolan a better grade than the SM movies. I can't really blame Raimi because I don't think he had that much control in the beginning (I think it was SM 1 that set the foundation for all the problems) but man, talked about a blown slam dunk franchise. That easily should be 5 or 6 movies without one of them being a clunker. -
Asimov is obsessed with Abrams, and will bring his name up even in an obit for a dog. Subby is obsessed with getting as much online attention as he can, to substitute for what he don't get in the real world. Both are no life, 24 hour a day posting, pathetic losers. But this is a good thing right?
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and SM3 was a total mess, which is unfortunate because the origin of the SandMan was awesome. One are where they go wrong is trying to throw in as many villains a possible instead of just focusing on developing one in each movie like they did in the first and second. Sam Raimi should have had free reign to do what he wanted after the success of SM, but apparently the producers forced Venom on him against his wishes so he slapdashedly added Venom into the mix. Venom should have been the focus of an entire film and maybe after Raimi's tenure.
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so I am able to completely accept Nolan's Batman for what he is. Before this, my personal concept of Batman was based on Adam West and that campy series. I never got into Burton's Batman, it just never felt right to me, which is ironic since his films are closer to the 60s series with their campiness. I also prefer Caesar Romero's Joker to Jack Nicholson's. But, I understand where you are coming from and I will soon be experiencing it myself when the Rockford Files remake comes out on tv. It is my all time favorite show and character and there is no possibility other than me hating it unless I was to Executive produce it and direct it.
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It's an SNL skit on Shnookie from Jersey Shore. Pretty dead on impersonation and Funny as S**t! http://tinyurl.com/yjzl45e
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Yeah, 3 was a fucking mess. And I think you are right, the suits (especially Avi Arad of Marvel) pushed him into putting in Venom because he was popular and because they wanted to make a spinoff. They were seeing $.
But I personally think a lot of SM was fucked up from day 1 (and this is when Raimi had no pull, so a lot of this isn't his fault) when they decided to use the Green Goblin as the 1st villain. It completely fucked up any chance of them adapting the most important Spidey story ever, The Death of Gwen Stacy. Thank should have been the lynchpin of the series; what they were Bildungsroman up to for 3 movies and the powerful aftermath for two or three movies.
Nolan's TDK is really him "ripping off" the Gwen Stacy storyline. And how much impact it has had on fans could have been for a Spidey movie if they hadn't fucked up that storyline in the beginning. -
And so is her TB. The place is attracting the attention desperate trolls like a rotting corpse attracts flies.
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You can understand why they chose to keep Gwen Stacy out because of how dark that storyline is and it does seem that Raimi wanted it in, the way he jammed it into SM3 where it made no sense at all. Don't know if I agree that the Green Goblin couldn't have been the first villain though. I think you could still have begun with the Gwen Stacy story and the GG together. Another asinine thing in SM3 was how they made the SamndMan retroactively Uncle Ben's killer. On a side note, i know it's canon, but Gwen Stacy of the comic books was way too hot to go for a dweeb like Peter Parker.
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as I saw you did, Conti, but there are just some pathetic losers in there who get off by pissing on someone's fresh corpse because their own lives are so miserable.
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I'll make another assault after I eat and clean up.
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so that we can always bring it back. I'm watching a movie right now otherwise I'd help out.
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What are you watching?
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Will movies ever be the same? Probably.Was it a great time at the movies? FUCK YEAH!!!!Back with my full review shortly...
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Spoilers await below…I am not a TRUE movie aficionado…I never will be…What constitutes a great movie is beyond me. I only know what I like…and, I DO know…I have never been able to justify spending my hard earned money to watch movies about people’s real life problems or experiences. I have enough problems and human experience to last 3 or 4 lifetimes, so I have never felt the need to watch films about borrowed real life issues and problems from other people. Stuff like Kramer vs. Kramer, Terms of Endearment or whatever just don’t hold my interest anymore on the screen than they do in my real life…No… I go to the movies to see something I am never going to see in my real life…Tonight I saw exactly that…Cameron’s Pandora is a place I would love to visit but never will…except for at the Movies…This was a wonderful experience at the theatre for me and, my 24 year old daughter who went with me, loved it as much if not more than I did…there are some wonderful scenes in this thing…Pretty much everything with the banshee dragon riding made me feel like a kid again…the way I felt when Luke and Biggs first tried to blow up the Death Star and dove into the cgi canyons…The entire experience was highly entertaining…Bad-ass villains…Noble ‘savages’…Conflicted protagonists…Metal tech vs. bow and arrow and a whole planet…Flying dragons and wild packs of lizard dogs…As for the 3-d…I was sold as soon as Sully came out hiber-sleep…all those cryo-beds and Zero-Gee Med-techs jumping from bed to bed in the background…I knew this would be good…Never once did I doubt the integrity of the 3-d process…these new cameras of Cameron’s are great…Sigourney Weaver looks bizarre but spectacular as an Avatar. The only part I thought ’cartoonish’ was when Jake first left the compound running in the school… Na’vi in human clothes was a bit jarring at first…I thought I was watching ‘Planet 51’ for a second there… Acting…Sully…dull and boring as a human…much better in his alter ego…Ripley…exactly the opposite..Colonel Scarface…Top Notch…best Villain of the year…Na’vi princess…Hot…sexy…strong…fantastic performance, mo-capped or not…When she screams at finding out Sully betrayed her…it sent chills down my spine…that was mainline emotion…Problems…Floating Mountains with water falling from them…I’m assuming there was a scene or comment that was edited out that explained why there was a gravity zone that interfered with human electromagnetic systems and made mountains float…’Course since Pandora is alive, maybe that is just something she does with her magnetic fields…Six legged horses run funny…so I wasn’t sure if the cgi was faulty or if it was the way the animals were supposed to gallop…Speaking of six leggedness…how come the Na’vi only have four limbs? Even the monkeys of their world have split forearms. Somewhen, the Na’vi lost two arms…Was Cameron really afraid of the John Carter lawsuits? Minor nits to pic…I know…Great original story? Not exactly…but at least it isn’t a remake or a re-envisioning of a former movie. It held my interest enough not to have to pee thru the entire film. It is a timeless tale about the ascension to manhood and leadership told on this amazing new world Cameron has shown us…One I look forward to visiting again…
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Watching Avatar was like revisiting the wondrous times at the cinema as a child. I loved nearly every minute of it. Saw it in Dolby Digital 3-D because that's how I viewed it at Comic Con, next time it'll be IMAX for me.A Veritable Virtual Visual Verisimilitudinous Vision! Verily!
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I think next time I'll see it in IMAX, too...for the first time I can see a reason for spending the extra bucks...The shit is just beautiful...
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Now an another asshole is making me want to see this, God damnit! ;)
As for TRUE movie aficionado - fuck that. Doesn't mean he is right. Just means he knows how to talk a good game. You can only like what you like, is my opinion.
And not to sound like the Sarah Palin anti-elite crowd, but I never completely trust an expert. You go to a court of law and face a lawyer in a case, he'll kill you. He'll know how to work the law, bring up precedents, and know how to present a case, so no matter what you'll be in deep trouble.
However, it doesn't mean he is right. Just means he knows how to use the courts and the law. -
of film. So are we all, including Cheeses. We probably wouldn't be on this web site as much as we are if we weren't.
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I'm going to see it next week in IMax. Wonder with all these positive reviews from Pedalbackers if Subby will break down and see it. Sounds like Conti already caved.
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Because I am an aficionado. Card-carrying. And, because there's been nothing in any of the reviews, positive or negative, that suggest this would be anything I'd enjoy. Besides, I got some flip-side 411 from somebody, already.But, I do have this that may substitute as my one and only AVATAR-related story. My step-nephews have three kids between them - an eight year old going on forty, his five year-old brother and their sweet, seven year-old girl cousin. Since I took their dads to movies when they were little kids, they'd been told that "Uncle" Mike would take them to the movies as soon as he got there. (This, I think, was also an opportunity for the assembled adults to have Obama-bashing time together without having to suffer my elitist wrath.) So, of course, the kids get to pick the movie, and I breathe a sigh of relieve when the sweetie suggests "Princess! Princess!," and the youngest agrees. My nephew, ever helpful, interrupts by reminding the eldest that he's been talking about AVATAR all week. Hearing this, the sweetie reconsiders. "I will thee AVATAR, if you want to," she caves. At this point, with my integrity at risk, I think I'm going to have to pull a Scrooge. Thankfully, the boys' mom, a third-generation hippie elitist, not unlike myself, steps in and informs her brother-in-law that they're not letting their boys see violent blockbusters until they are old enough. "Yeah," says the eight-year-old, making a chivalrous sacrifice for the littler kids, "I wanna see The Frog, too, because she wants to." Ha! Check and mate! I'm saved.Good kids.
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But that doesn't mean my opinion is totally with merit. Take everything with a grain of salt, especially from those who supposedly "know" more than you.
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I think you have enough knowledge of Jersey Shore, "unfortunately", to enjoy it.
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I think I just saw a tumbleweed. Everyone must be on vacation.
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But I won't be around much today. I'm staking out room in the Holmes TB to defend that movie against unwarranted attacks.
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I don't even know what that fucking means. Sigh. I need a drink.
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"You wanna touch my poof? I said touch it, not mash it!"That was funny, Stabs. And, all I need to know about that show. By the by, what's wrong with being an aficionado? (I don't think Cheeses meant to place a distinction between camps of movie-goers. I think he was just admitting he goes to the movies for the bang and the butter-flavored popcorn juice. One could say, he's a pop aficionado. A fan of pop. 'Lop was describing a "cineaste." And, since 'Lop's one of the guys in charge this week, I'm gonna follow his lead.) What's wrong with wanting more from movies than mere entertainment all the time? What, really, is wrong with wanting to be entertained and informed and moved and shocked and whatever or any combination? I admit a knee-jerk revulsion to hype and marketing that may sometimes border on the irrational. And, yeah, I wish contemporary blockbuster fans were quite a bit more discerning because I think we'd all have better blockbusters, but I don't think I've ever dismissed blockbusters out of hand, in general, just as I think taking a "pooh-pooh" attitude against non-genre material is nothing but reverse snobbery. I really am glad 'moose, and Morbs and Cheeses enjoyed AVATAR. I wouldn't hold it against them because I'll never see it - I simply don't want to, and, therefore, I abdicate the right to discuss anything about it other than its promotion.But, I'm also not going to just give in and settle. I seek out the opinion of those who are more informed about any given subject. It's how I learn things. I'm not always going to agree with them. That's my right as an individual. Yet, to ignore that there are people who know better than I do, more than I do, and to refuse to learn from them is, to me, a kind of failure.
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that's why I've decided to promote the use of the word aficionado. Also, it sounds pretentious, which is why I think Cheeses misinterpreted it's meaning. From now on I will only use fanboy to describe someone who blindly adheres to the belief that the films of Michael Bay (or directors of similar hackitude) are awesome. Because it's impossible to be a Michael Bay aficionado.
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http://vimeo.com/8297296
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Uncle Kirk! That was cool!
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I just don't like the idea of someone thinking his taste is superior to someone else's. Especially in something as (dare I say it) subjective as art.
Unless you have subjected your views to peer approval and can prove them, don't be acting high and mighty. Which I am glad to say, no one here does. -
I am becoming the Asi of Holmes, constantly posting on the Holmes TBs. But where he is constantly railing against STINO, I am defending Sherlock Holmes.
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but, yeah mostly he's just trashing STINO.
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and actually enjoyed it to a certain degree, so, no, I am not a film snob. Let my confession stand in the annuls of the Pedalback for the ages.
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No. No. No.We'll discuss it when I get home, young man.
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And it all really happened.
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Guest reviewer, Subtitles_Off's nephew...IT MIGHT GET LOUD2009. Musical documentary.I heard a joke: Three guitarists walk into a bar - an old geezer, a young gun, and a guy who plays with his feet. What's the punchline? This documentary insists the set-up is enough. Jimmy Page, of Led Zeppelin, David Evans, of U2 - a grown man who likes to be called The Edge (The, by his close compatriots, I assume) - and Jack White, of The White Stripes, The Raconteurs, The Dead Weather, and whatever else - the last rock-n-roller on Earth - get together to chat and give director Davis (AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH) Guggenheim the excuse to assemble some collected archival footage. There is plenty of precious stuff here - White makes a guitar out of throw-away wood and a cola bottle, Page reminisces in the country house where Zep recorded their fourth album, lots of old bluesmen and rockers - but whenever a bit threatens to build up some steam there's a quick cut-away to something else. Page lamenting his time as a commercial session player gets juxtaposed with civil unrest in 70s Ireland gets juxtaposed with poverty in Detroit gets juxtaposed with too much Bono. The individual histories are interesting, I guess, but I'd rather hear it through music, so I could make the connection to my personal situation. Shut up and play your guitar. And, it's not encouraging watching "The" devolve from a punk into a total wanker.3 stars"That's a lot of stars.""It's out of five, so it means average.""Still, I'd give it two stars.""I thought you liked Led Zeppelin?""I do. I like The White Stripes, too. U2 can fuck off.""Yeah. But they're better than Widespread Panic.""Shut up!""You shut up."
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By bitch slapping the wife of STINO.
But seriously, I don't mind him. I just think he has got to change tactics if he wants to change minds. -
Dec 22, 2009 7:51:50 PM CST
“I am not a TRUE movie aficionado…I never will be…”
by cheeses_of_nazareth
“I don't think Cheeses meant to place a distinction between camps of movie-goers. I think he was just admitting he goes to the movies for the bang and the butter-flavored popcorn juice.”“…it sounds pretentious, which is why I think Cheeses misinterpreted it's meaning.”No, Stabby, I didn’t really misuse the word, I just didn’t make my point clearly enough. I really am not a fan of ‘movies.’ From the very beginning, I have been more interested in the special effects and sci-fi storylines and promotion of said motion pictures, even the actors and actresses, than I have ever been or ever will be about movies in general. Blame it on the ‘70s with Johnny Carson and ‘Battle of the Network Stars.’ As a child of the 70’s …(I graduated high school in 1980)… I have too short an attention span to really appreciate movies in general. I need to be multi-tasking and require multiple break times to pee and smoke. And, for the record, I DO consider Subs, Conti, yourself and many others here to be true aficionados of film. I LOVE reading what all of you who DO love MOVIES have to say about the art form. When those conversations arise on here about movies I have never had any desire to see, and often didn’t even know existed…(By the way, when did we start letting the French make movies?)… I just sit back and try to learn something.I only consider myself an aficionado of cannabis, comic books (Green Lantern, the JLA and the Teen Titans in particular), Science fiction/Special Effects laden movies as well as the global conspiracy theory /Sitchinology…And Subs…remember all that reminiscing you guys did a few weeks back about the Wonderful World of Disney and all those wonderful worlds Disney used to take you to visit…Well, If Disney were alive today, he’d be sucking Cameron’s cock to get the Avatar’s secret recipe… BTW, Stabby…I really did misuse the word for exactly the reason you mentioned…I’m just really high right now and this just flowed out…
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For being high when I am completely dry in Minneapolis. Nothing but snow on the ground, which doesn't do a damn thing when I snort it...
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Aren't you a sunny southern Californian...or, do I have you confused with someone else...???That tends to happen a lot when I get this high....
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I was born in this frozen tundra. Have friends and family here.
Only good thing about this place is the women are relatively easy.
BTW Cheeses, you're a comic book fan. Who would you say are the top 4 Super Heroes and top 4 Super-villains who use their fist? You know, the Batman, Deathstroke, Nightwing, Killer Croc level (men only - sorry Lady Shiva and Black Canary). -
Is still effecting my grammar and spelling. Or I am just stupid.
Don't answer that. -
Dec 22, 2009 8:41:11 PM CST
“Who would you say are the top 4 Super Heroes and top 4 Super-vi
by cheeses_of_nazareth
If you are talking non-to-supreme human conditioning with some small acceleration due to cosmic rays, super serums and what-not…Off the top of my head…Heroes…Iron Fist…Fist is in his name!!!Captain AmericaBatman
Nightwing
Karate Kid…from the LSH
Moon knight
Villains…
Death Stroke
Taskmaster
Bane
Karate Kid when he was/is insane…
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But fucking Karate Kid is a fucking great choice (might be too tough for what I am planning).
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Dec 22, 2009 8:46:13 PM CST
Karate kid beat Batman, if I remember correctly...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
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a script for Ultimate Unlimited DC/Marvel Crossover Championship Fight Club Night?Because, I would totally buy that...IF it had the right artist...
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In the frozen Tundra. So I am making the Ultimate Super Hero (and Villain) Fighting Championship, based on the old UFC tournaments. 16 costumed street level characters, 8 from Marvel, 8 from DC (4 heroes and 4 villains from each) involved in a tournament where one will be crowned toughest martial artist and fighter in comic-bookdom.
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That so few DC martial art villains appear appealing to me, I'm thinking of either saying DC has 5 heroes, or give Marvel one more villain.
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And, anyway...who's to say who is a hero and who is a villain...
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for that surprize sexing fiend, Dr. Light...
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Is I've got so many kung fu/karate guys on my list already. Trying to mix up the styles (which is why Wildcat is looking better and better).
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Who is the worst surprise sexer in all of comic bookdom?
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For Dr. Light, it was all about revenge...For the Comedian..it was a Love/possession/Lust thing...He would'a called her the next day after she got out of the hospital...
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You using the original or one of his sucessors?
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Thought it would cool to through in a guy with a heavy boxing background.
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Fuck. I would like to blame the booze but I haven't even been drinking tonight.
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Dec 23, 2009 5:01:23 AM CST
"If Disney were alive today, he’d be sucking Cameron’s cock"
by subtitles_off
In the running as the single most ridiculous, indefensible and just-plain-wrong thing I've ever read on AICN.Sad thing is, I think you're semi-serious.
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Odd, true news stories.http://tinyurl.com/ya7h43w
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you can now add INCEPTION to the list of upcoming films I have less-than-no interest in seeing, having peeped that French trailer. This is going to be the next thing debated ceaselessly for six months on AICN? I really need a job and something else to keep my time occupied.What's wrong with the British papparazzi? Surely they can dig something out of Christian's garbage over the holidays?
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Tulsa is killing me, he exaggerated.
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This is one of those moot arguments. Speculative. Requires assumptions be made independent of factual evidence. Silly.
I'm totally up for it. No offense intended, nor should any be inferred.
If Walt Disney were alive today, he'd be over one-hundred years old. Assuming he could get up and out of bed, I don't think he'd even be aware of AVATAR's existence, let alone desirous of standing in line to see it. You see a lot of 80+-year-old seniors flocking to the cinema to subject their failing senses to an immersive 3-D effects extravaganza?
Let's look at Disney's body of work. Do you see an interest in sci-fi fantasy? Do you see any of his films tied to the 3-D gimmick? These were popular conceits during his lifetime, after all. You recognize any sort of fetish with military technology? Do you see any interest in socio-political story-telling? There are the short subjects commissioned by the US Army for WWII in which Donald Duck engaged in some cartoon slapstick with Hitler. Pure propaganda with Disney's characteristic spin on the safe, traditional values of the time. Is this brief flirtation with war as a subject enough to link Disney and Cameron?Maybe you think Disney's theme parks are better evidence of his interest in technology. "The World of Tomorrow," and all that. But, I'd argue, Disney's interest was, chiefly, a practical one. How would actual technology benefit human beings as they were actually standing there? You see any of that in Cameron? Lots of paraplegics gonna want to investigate the real-world applications of becoming blue cats, you think? I think, if Disney were alive today and cognizant of the changes to his park attractions, with their current reliance on 3-D effects and goggles instead of life-like-ish automotons, he'd likely be a bit disappointed.I'm not even going to go into detail defending my firm belief that PINOCCHIO is timeless and will forever speak to boys of a young age while AVATAR is more demographically limited.There is no doubt that Disney was, and Cameron is, engaged in ground-breaking, technical aspects of making their very different creative imaginations convincing. The same could be said of nearly every substantial film-maker. Every modern fantasy film-maker, undoubtedly, owes a debt to Disney. Pixar, Studio Ghibli, Del Toro, Jackson, Cameron, Spielberg, Zemeckis - all of them. Spielberg, as an example, can be linked overtly, and he's secure enough in his art that he's admitted it. Do you think His Royal Highness James Cameron would be willing to admit to being the cock-sucker if Disney were alive today? -
One day we my know.
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they put his brain in the body of a Jew. Then he can have a Darth Vader, 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' moment.
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TOKYO - Japan's next prime minister might be nicknamed "the alien," but it's his wife who claims to have had a close encounter with another world.
"While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year.
"It was a very beautiful place and it was really green." -
HONOLULU - Stinky city bus riders soon could get soaked.
The Honolulu City Council is considering a bill that would impose up to a $500 fine and/or up to six months in jail for public transit passengers convicted of being too smelly.
The bill will be heard Thursday in committee. It would make it illegal to have "odors that unreasonably disturb others or interfere with their use of the transit system." Stabby Note: I'm all for this, but they should include cab driver's too. We're not in France. -
Woman convicted of killing man who taunted her over N.Y. Yankees decal. New York (CNN) -- A New Hampshire jury on Monday found a Nashua woman guilty of second-degree murder for running over a man who had heckled her for being a New York Yankees fan. Full Story Here: http://tinyurl.com/y9hvkdf STABBY NOTE: Just one more reason to hate the Yucking Fankees!
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In Honolulu. He sometimes smells like shit. He'll work out (and he works out like a madman) and not shower for a couple of hours.
I love my brother, but he's an f'ing pig. -
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock!
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Avatar in IMax, The Road, Mr. Fox, Imaginarium, Sherlock, Tiger's Wood, The Hurt Locker, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel*. Don't know if I'll have time to fit them all in.
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About the Road and Sherlock.
Saw Invictus yesterday. Will review it later. -
Embarrassingly, Avatar is top of my list. I need to see it before those 3D goggles exchange too many hands and accumulate too many germs. I will be bringing my Adrian Monk sanitizer wipes with me.
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Dec 23, 2009 3:28:23 PM CST
Enjoy seeing His Royal Fatness stew while The Bible talks to you
by anonymoose
http://tinyurl.com/yfk3ofs
Warning: Harry Knowles levels of half-naked fatassery approacheth. -
Dec 23, 2009 3:31:52 PM CST
Snowman will fucking DESTROY you for having your way with him.
by anonymoose
http://tinyurl.com/yzydvy9
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of8k026I7RU
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=382X0Wbo3Ko
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That new Karate Kid preview was actually not bad. It's so far removed from the original concept that I could almost get behind it. But still, I've never even seen the original, so it's not like I give a shit. Nice trailer, tho.
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Would you ever walk anywhere again?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkawsBwJwpEhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MeiwLLZjDo
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'AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-HAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!'
found you. -
...but I'm gonna guess 'No'.
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My mom sent me season 3 not too long ago. That is a seriously awesome and fucked up show.
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Post-Apocalyptic Pittsburgh awaits me at home and my roomies are all gone for the week! Why must I be at work?
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...Is Tara Reid on the cover of Playboy? I thought it was 2009, not 1999. She airbrushes up pretty good tho.
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Shit, when Olivia Munn is on the cover, and she's not even nude in the magazine, you know you should be reading Big Tits Monthly.
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Walt Disney was an entertainer and innovator at heart. He left a huge body of work that stretched the boundaries of what animation could do. He had his ups and downs and moments when the industry and critics doubted him, like this excerpt from Walt’s Wikipage…“When the film industry came to know about Disney's plans to produce an animated feature-length version of Snow White, they dubbed the project as "Disney's Folly" and were certain that the project would destroy the Disney studio. Both Lillian and Roy tried to talk Disney out of the project, but he continued plans for the feature.”We all know how well that turned out for him….just like Titanic did for Cameron, after that he could do any movie he wanted…Walt also had a love of space and the future, like Cameron…(also from Wiki…) “During the mid-1950s, Disney produced a number of educational films on the space program in collaboration with NASA rocket designer Wernher von Braun: Man in Space and Man and the Moon in 1955, and Mars and Beyond in 1957.”As, Lucas and Spielberg have slobbered all over Cameron‘s knob about this new tech, you can bet ‘ole Walt would have been interested in in to the point of pleasuring it‘s creator orally.“Disney also ventured into full-length dramatic films that mixed live action and animated scenes, including Song of the South and So Dear to My Heart.”Knowing what Disney TRIED to do in his lifetime, are you honestly going to tell me that Disney wouldn’t have sucked a cock or two to play with a the technology that lets one totally integrate our world with realistic cartoons??? Please…Disney only dreamed of the day he could do that…probably why he had his head frozen,…so he could be reanimated long enough to slip on a pair of 3-d spectacles and enjoy a film like Avatar…
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“…and will forever speak to boys of a young age while AVATAR is more demographically limited.”More demographically limited than the pre-pubescent male “too young to have disposable income” demo? Please explain. Avatar appeals to a HUGE audience with multiple demographics and crosses all age/sexual/political boundaries…I thought that was your major gripe about the film…too many people seemed to like it and it was hyped too much, therefore, it must be pedestrian. I mean it’s only made $300 MILLION worldwide in FIVE days. How good could it be? And for the record…Wiki also says this…“Pinocchio and Fantasia followed Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs into the movie theaters in 1940, but both were financial disappointments.” Demographics in the movie business can be tricky sometimes…
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“Disney was a founding member of the anti-communist Motion Picture Alliance for the Preservation of American Ideals. In 1947, during the early years of the Cold War, Disney testified before the House Un-American Activities Committee, where he branded Herbert Sorrell, David Hilberman and William Pomerance, former animators and labor union organizers, as Communist agitators. All three men denied the allegations.”I’m sure no anti-union, anti-communism propaganda made it’s way into the tale of the Seven Dwarves or 101 Dalmations…and, btw, what a great boss...
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sorry i ve been MIA lately..been busy lzing about and shopping and i saw two flicks...so yeah...
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not bad not bad...it does harken to a time before computer animation..very old school...i was dead tired when i took my son and niece to it yet was entertained and it actually zested me up...courtesy of randy newman's score...the villian was great...good to see keith david working...and the secondary characters were amusing..i like the firefly the most..all in all..well worth seeing and the novelty of not having any pop culture refs in a childrens flick can go a long fucking way.
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Dec 23, 2009 9:26:44 PM CST
I'm takin' odds on the title of the 2nd movie Sixes saw...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
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yep..it was good..no fuck that it was better than good...i would put that in the top 5 of hte films i saw this year...and of the blockbuster big studio films, probably number one.everything you've heard about the film is correct but also underestimated.its true i have been waiting for this film for about a year..and i dont really know how id gauge my expectations...probably on par with scorsese and speilberg..i expect certain things when i see their films...same goes for cams...he never fails to deliever for me...i can understand how people can call it derivative and the plot is weak...but to me it really didnt matter i was swept away was i touched down on pandora...and the effects...im sorry but they were pretty breathtaking...i knew that it wasnt "real" but my mind just couldnt accept that i was looking at snazzy computer effects..thats how good it looked..yeah im sure there were flaws somewhere in there but whatever..i will pck it up the next time...by the way i saw this in 2D..and it still kicked my sorry ass.again---certainly not the best film of the year...but the best biggest film by far.
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the 3-D will take you to another level...See it in that format soon...
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Reading your post, I thought it was cool that you liked it but when I read you only saw it in 2-D, that kinda blew my mind. Ditto to what Q said, you gotta see it in 3-D man. My next time will be in IMAX 3-D this weekend. I've heard some formats are better than others, I saw it in Dolby Digital 3-D and had no problems others said they had in RealD 3-D, if you live near an IMAX theater that might be best, don't know for sure, even the LieMax people were raving about it. Glad to hear you like it.
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I got fresh poloroid glasses IN A PRE-SEALED VACUMME bag with a warning that these glasses were not approved to serve as sunglasses...and it looked like a dream...
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My dad in law took me. He really didn't know any better. Still awe inspiring visuals. I hope someone kidnaps subs and takes him
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INVICTUS (2009)
Clint Eastwood's latest is based on the true events of Nelson Mandela using the national rugby team of South Africa, the Springboks, as a symbol of a new, unified country after the end of apartheid. I know this won't be everyone's cup of tea (please, someone came up with a new and better term; I want to put that expression out to pasture by next year) but I found this film fascinating. Perfect? No. Eastwood resorts to some mawkish scenes and sometimes resorts to be overly melodramatic, but the acting is top notch (especially, once again, Morgan Freeman as Mandela) and does something that most Hollywood films don’t do nowadays: explore bigger ideas and themes in very personal films. And this film is a fascinating study of the use of symbols - be it flags, national anthems, or teams - as a unifying force, as the Springboks go from a symbol of apartheid and white rule, to one representing the whole of South Africa (without alienating the white Afrikaaners). It is also a movie about the power of forgiveness, a rare message in towards world of payback and cathartic revenge.
**** out of 5 -
I would so fuck Tara Reid's airbrushed photos.
The real Tara? Let me think about that... -
So in case it becomes the Donner party here and I don't make it to tomorrow, I think I would send out my Christmas Greetings.
Ted, Subs, 6DB, Stabby, Dr.Morbius, Cheeses, watershit, the artist formerly known as Prosser, Cobra, MOOSE, Series, D.Vader, and hell, even Asi and Kobe, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
I hope no one gets surprised sexed over the Holidays (unless you want to be). -
This will be my first ever 'White' Christmas...
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I live in SoCal and I've had many a 'white' Christmas...um...uh...oh yeah...you said snowing...my bad!
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PAST...PRESENT...FUTUREMerryChristmasHannukahFestivusKwanzaToo many people (don't want to forget anyone's name), you know who you are already.Here's hoping 2010 is a banner year for Movies.Morbius Out...
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Sung to the tune of "I'll be home for Christmas..."
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Dec 24, 2009 10:40:05 PM CST
merry christmas and whatnot to all my brothers in arms...
by six demon bag
we have fought many a valiant battles together...i hope you are all with loved ones and are safe and are in good spirits...
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Once again you prove that you are a giant amongst men.
Merry X-mas mate. -
have fun and be safe...
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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night." -
I memorized that poem in the fifth grade for extra credit in English class...One of my all time favorites...In my Senior Year, I memorized the first 16 lines of the Canterbury tales by Chaucer in Old English. I can still recite it and have used it to convince at least 4 women to have sex with me by using it either as proof that I was from another country, or proof that I was all sensitive and shit ...
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Pagan holidays are my favorites...Hope everyone gets to spend them with the ones they love most...Here's to Peace on Earth, Goodwill To Man, and all that stuff...
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but the man is always the real deal. There's no fakery about him. He's an original. He is his own man. That's why i'll always respect him, even if we disagree, even if he unexplainably likes such a movie like Terminator Salvation.
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How you doing, friend? Long time no chat. Happy Yule to you and yours.
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I don't deal with maybe ifs and maybe ifn'ts. Nolan said he will not put Robin in his Nolanverse Batman movies. So, all this discussion of Robin in his Bat movie is just pointless. and yes, Nolan was respectful to Batmna, and invoked conon quite a lot in his movies, either directly or indirectly. and all his invented stuff had a point, and were intelligently made. Unlike the "reinvention" of that other franchise done by that overrated bespectacled hack. Don't waste your time dreaming with what ifs and whatnots about your obession with Robin in a Nolan Batman movie. If it never comes to fruition (which the odds says it will not), then all you have done is waste your time on a useless fanboy dream. Either you accept the Nolan Batman movies for what they are, or you chose another franchise to admire. Frankly, i think you would be much better suited with Nolan's Batman.And Happy Yule for you and yours.
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Hey I'm doing fine good to see ya again happy holidays to you and yer fans
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In between bloody mary's and snow shoveling...man, it's ridiculous here in Tulsa, but the kids - who have never seen snow - are having a blast. The old man? Tired quickly and back indoors where it is warm.Happy Holiday, all.
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Hope you're all safe and warm out there. And I hope 'Sherlock Holmes' is worth the price of admission.
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Believe it or not, but i only got to see snow for real for the first time in my life last year. I had a blast. It was all a lot of fun, until we all go to have to push the car because it was slipping on ice. We were in a mountain. to put in context, rarely snows in my country, and only either in the north regions or at the mountain peaks, and last year it broke all know records.
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Partly because that is my job, and partly that is why I like movies - taking you to a what if scenario. I'm an active movie goer, so I don't just sit there and passively take in images.
Plus my entire point was to point out how Dick Grayson could fit into the Nolan universe, because i honestly think that might be the direction he goes in. Not Robin (as he and Bale have said, no Robin) but Dick Grayson. Why? Because Dick Grayson is a vital part of the Batman mythos and by bringing him in but not making him Robin Nolan will be doing something he has tried to do the entire franchise - take Batman and the characters in his universe and improve them & make them much more plausible.
I'm not that will happen - who knows what Nolan will do. I am just saying that very well might be the direction Nolan goes in, because really there is very few personal issues left in the Batman myth to explore. And I know everyone says there never will be Robin, but I notice Nolan has never ruled out Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne's dopple-ganger.
Just warning you in advance... -
Would it make it any easier to know that the Christian Right fuckin' HATES this flick?http://www.examiner.com/x-32249-Portland-Atheism-Examiner~y2009m12d20-Christian-reviews-slam-AVATAR--why
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http://tinyurl.com/yhoj73b
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Jesus would totally hang with the Na'vi. He's that kind of guy.
I'm going to hug some trees today, just to spite those Christards. -
http://vimeo.com/8379076
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I'm gonna box the clown today.
It usually ends in split decision. -
UP IN THE AIR2009Directed by Jason Reitman(THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, JUNO)This one has rapidly become the critical front-runner for The Oscars. George Clooney's trademarked smirk is used to, perhaps, the best effect in his career as Hollywood's go-to leading man, in a story about a self-involved corporate hatchet man who values his mileage-points lifestyle and the women who set him straight by showing him he's stranded. I can personally attest to the accuracy of the inhuman "opportunity-transitioning" at the satirical spine of this dark comedy which too meekly devolves into a feel-good romance with a softened, semi-hard edge. Two too many musical montages and a clumsy resolution may leave you feeling like the rest of the recently unemployed sucker-punched.3 stars
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telling me not to see AVATAR any more than I need the hype machine to keep telling me to see it. Everyone can quit assuming my personal judgment is faulty.Despite the scientifically-validated demographic appeal for Cameron's Folly (greater than the iconic, generations-old appeal of a certain fairy-tale puppet, I've been informed, and I wouldn't've been so informed unless the stone tablets had already been engraved), my life continues blissfully blue-cat free and in natural 3-D.
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Vikings don't play until Monday night. I'll post when I get back from brunch.
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Obviously many of you are trying to get over a hangover or are football fans.
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The Ultimate Super-Hero (and Villain) Fighting Championship. A 16-man tournament to determine who is the best hand-to-hand (or if when we include weapons, close combat) fighter in Marvel and DC. The guidelines are simple:
16 characters, 8 heroes and 8 villains. 7 of them are from DC, 9 from Marvel (I decided to give Marvel one more just because I thought they had slightly more interesting hand-to-hand fighters that I could use to spice up the variety of styles). You'll notice a couple of things about those selected:
• No powers (or, because this is all comic book characters, no one with obvious powers). Everyone of these guys still qualify as human level on any power chart.
• No Women: Not to be sexist, but I have a hard time imagining a woman defeating a man when skill level is considered equal. Size, difference in muscles, etc. would make Black Canary, Black Widow and Elekra all operate under a huge disadvantage.
And finally, no Wolverine. Wolverine is just a ridiculous character who has way to many ridiculous abilities that would give him an advantage. The sad thing is I used to like Wolverine, before they started cribbing the personal history of Captain America/Batman/Punisher/Snake-eyes/Daredevil/Highlander and adding them to Wolverine's backs tory.
So here are the competitors: -
Anytime two guys with weapons face each other, they are allowed to use a weapon. If someone faces someone not known to use weapons but just his bare-hands, no weapons allowed.
And guns will never be allowed. -
BATMAN
NICKNAME: The Dark Knight, The Caped Crusader, The World’s Greatest Detective
HEIGHT: 6’2”
WEIGHT: 210lbs (95kg)
REACH: 77.6 in (197 cm)
Fighting out of Gotham City
STANCE: Orthodox and southpaw
STYLES: Boxing, Jujitsu, Judo, Karate, STX, Sanshou, Aikido, Jeet Kune Do
WEAPON: Utility Belt (included Batarangs, bolos, shurikens, gas grenades, and smoke bombs)
Ever since he was 8 or 9 years old Bruce Wayne has been training intensely in hand-to-hand combat. And he backs that training up with over a decade of experience of being involved in actual street fights and brawls. It’s the God damn Batman - what more has to be said?
RICHARD DRAGON
NICKNAMES: Kung Fu Fighter
HEIGHT: 6’1”
WEIGHT: 205lbs (93kg)
REACH: 74.0 in (188 cm)
Fighting out of New York City
STANCE: Orthodox
STYLES: Karate, Kung Fu
DC’s number one expert at Oriental Martial Arts (who is surprisingly a white man). After studying karate, Dragon moved on to Kung Fu, mastering Dragon Style and Leopard Style Kung Fu, and becoming DC’s greatest Kung Fu fighter (even better than Bronze Tiger).
NIGHTWING
HEIGHT: 5’10”
WEIGHT: 175lbs (93kg)
REACH: 76.0 in (193 cm)
Fighting out of Bludhaven and Gotham City
STANCE: Orthodox
STYLES: Escrima/Kali, STX, Judo, Jujitsu, Sanshou, Jeet Kune Do
WEAPON: Escrima Sticks
Batman’s former sidekick Robin, now grown-up and on his on. He has a similar style as Batman, but back where he lacks Bats size he makes it up with his incredible acrobatic abilities, being the only person (formerly only one of the three before his parents died) to be able to perform the quadruple somersault.
WILDCAT
HEIGHT: 5’8”
WEIGHT: 181lbs (82kg)
REACH:70 In
Fighting out of New York City
STANCE: Orthodox
STYLES: Boxing, dirty boxing
Former Undisputed Heavy-Weight Boxing champ of the World (despite being listed at 181lbs, could someone please explain that?). But thanks to his decades of crime fighting (yes, decades - comic book rationales here) he has added a bunch of other skills to compliment his boxing skills.
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BANE
HEIGHT: 6’9”
WEIGHT: 450lbs
REACH: 86.0 in (218 cm)
Fighting out of Santa Prisca
STANCE: Orthodox
STYLES: Latin American Jailhouse Rock
Escaped con from a Latin American prison, Bane is bulked up on super-steroids and is the man who broke the Bat. When Bane is totally pumped up on Venom he has superhuman strength; for his tournament, he can only use enough to grant him strength that stays within human potential.
DEATHSTROKE THE TERMINATOR
HEIGHT: 6’4”
WEIGHT: 235lbs
Reach:
Fighting out of Africa
STANCE: Orthodox and southpaw (ambidexterous)
STYLES: Army Combativs, LINE Combat System, Krav Maga, Boxing, Wrestling, Judo, Karate, Muay Thai
WEAPONS: Sword, shurikens, staff
Deathstroke combines the skill of a highly trained soldier and mercenary, with someone who has his physical abilities enhanced to maximum human levels, plus he uses 90% of his brain, which I imagine means he can process 9 things while we normal people can only concentrate on one.
KILLER CROC
HEIGHT: 5’8”
WEIGHT: 268lbs
REACH: 69 in
Fighting out of Gotham City
STANCE: Orthodox
STYLES: Wrestling, grappling, street fighting
Killer Croc is now depicted as a kind of mutant freak suffering from atavism, where he is reverting into a kind of reptillian monster. This isn’t that Croc; this is the way he was when he originally appeared: a street thug who suffers from a skin disorder called epidermolytic hyperkeratosis that gave him a scaly appearance. Croc is a tough bruiser and brawler who uses a very exotic style of wrestling, one developed from his days as a performer who wrestled large alligators. -
CAPTAIN AMERICA
NICKNAMES: The Star-Spangled Avenger, The Sentinel of Liberty, Sheldslinger
HEIGHT: 6’2”
WEIGHT: 240lbs
REACH: 77.0 in
Fighting out of New York City
STANCE: Orthodox
Styles: WWII army combativs, MAC, Boxing, Freestyle Wrestling, Greco-Roman Wrestling, Catch Wrestling, Jujitsu, Judo, Aikido
A veteran of WWII and a thousand other battles, Captain America is both trained in a number of martial arts and is the recipient of the Super-Soldier Formula, transforming him into the perfect human specimen.
DAREDEVIL
NICKNAME: The Man Without Fear, Hornhead
HEIGHT: 6’
WEIGHT: 200lbs (91kg)
REACH: 74 in
Fighting out of Hell’s Kitchen, New York
Stance: Orthodox
Styles: Boxing, Escima, Baton, Ninjitsu, Kung Fu
WEAPONS: Billy club
Daredevil is both a great boxer (thanks to his father, Battlin’ Murdock) and a master of a exotic martial art that seems to combine Shaolin Kung Fu with Ninjitsu (taught to him by Stick). And despite being blind, he is a formidable opponent thanks to his heightened senses and his radar senses.
PUNISHER
HEIGHT: 6’1”
WEIGHT: 200lbs (91kg)
REACH: 74.8 in (190 cm)
Fighting out of New York City
STANCE: Orthodox
STYLES: MCMAP, Marine LINE Combat System, Nash Jiu-Jitsu, Boxing, Wrestling
WEAPONS: Guns, kabar
Where Batman says he is waging war on crime, The Punisher actually does so. A master of armed and unarmed combat, and a veteran of three combat tours, the former marine brings a level of ruthlessness and violence few “heroes” do
SHANG-CHI
NICKNAMES: Master of Kung Fu
HEIGHT: 5’10’
WEIGHT: 175lbs (80kg)
REACH: 75”
Fighting out of Beijing
STANCE: Southpaw (right handed however)
STYLES: Kung Fu, Wushu, Jeet Kune Do
The son of Fu Manchu, and trained to be the a master of all forms of Kung Fu. Shang-Chi is the Marvel Universes greatest martial artist, even better than Iron Fist. -
BULLSEYE
NICKNAME: The Assassin Who Never Misses
HEIGHT: 6’
WEIGHT: 200lbs (includes adamantium implants)
REACH: 72 in
Fighting out of New York City
STANCE: Southpaw (ambidextrous)
STYLE: Basic Army Combatives, plus a unique style of thrown objects
WEAPONS: What ever he can get his hands on.
An assassin with a history of killing DD’s girlfriends, Bullsyes can basically turn any object he touches into a weapon, throwing playing cards, pens and other objects with dangerous accuracy.
WILSON FISK
NICKNAME: The Kingpin of Crime
HEIGHT: 6’7”
WEIGHT: 450lbs (100kg)
REACH: 81.0 in (206 cm)
Fighting out of New York City
STANCE: Orthodox
STYLE: Sumo, Judo, Jujitsu, hapkido
WEAPONS: Cane/walking stick
They say in the comic books that the Kingpin of Crime is built like a sumo wrestler, he looks like he is fat but it is all muscle. I guess sumo wrestlers in comics are built differently than in the real world, because they are pretty fat. But even if the Kingpin has a lot of fat on him, he has more than enough muscle to be dangerous (in fact, Wilson Fisk is also a power lifter, and many of the guys who compete in the World’s Strongest Man Competition are as big as Fisk), and it combines his size and strength with skill in a number of oriental martial arts, escpialy sumo (which I suspect he is good enough to maybe have been an Ykozuno).
GLADIATOR
HEIGHT: 6’6”
WEIGHT: 300lbs (136kg)
REACH: 82 in
Fighting out of New York City
STANCE: Orthodox
STYLE: Pankration
WEAPONS: A Pair of Buzzsaws attached to his wrist
A big bruiser, where Gladiator lacks in combat training, he more than makes up for it in strength, size, viciousness (when insane) and with the fact he is armed with buzzsaws and wears armor.
TASKMASTER
HEIGHT: 6’2”
WEIGHT: 220lbs (205kg)
REACH: 74”
Fighting out of New York City
STANCE: Orthodox & Southpaw (ambidexterous)
STYLE: To many to name
WEAPONS: Sword, Shield, Billy club
Taskmaster is blessed with photographic reflexes, which means he has to just watch someone perform an athletic feat (such as a flying kick, a judo toss, or right hook) and he can duplicate it perfectly. Also, thanks to his skills, he is able to anticipate and predict the moves of any opponent he has studied, and considering the fact that he has studied and copied the moves of almost every major fighter in the Marvel U (Captain America, Punisher, Hawkeye, Black Knight, Daredevil, Iron Fist, etc) this makes him a very dangerous opponent. -
Batman vs. Gladiator
Bullseye vs. Punisher
Kingpin vs. Wildcat
Nightwing vs. Daredevil
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Captain America vs. Bane
Deathstroke vs. Taskmaster
Shang-Chi vs. Richard Dragon
Batroc vs. Killer Croc -
"Catch up," get it?The weather threw a monkey wrench in plans for the holiday, so I canceled the Las Vegas leg of my Christmas tour and halved a two-week vacation into a one-weeker. Of course, I had to choose the day of another national over-reaction to some whack-job in Detroit to try and change my air-travel arrangements. In spite of it all, I'm home.Nice to see some Pedalbackers tried to keep the furnace lit while I was gone. You gotta do that, or the pipes freeze. Lettuce see what I've missed or only been able to skim...December 20th, 2009.
Cowcoys® Just like a lawyer to copyright somebody else's typo! Good old Yackbacker. He hasn't posted in a Pedalback thread since October, if I'm remembering correctly. Come back, Yack! GigaMach posits a theory suggesting hidden visual clues in the INCEPTION poster, linking the film to Nolan's Batman. If we follow the philosophy of Ockham's Razor, however, we find a link for Nolan's next to a more obvious precedent. Leo rhymes with Neo, duh. Anagrams are more fun, though, admittedly. "Madman Across the Water" Cobra--Kai unpacks a box and praises AVATAR. 'Lop tells a date, "Puking does not exist in this dojo." HA! A confused expression on 'Lop's date's face does not exist in this dojo. Brittany Murphy: She had to die for anyone to see her music video. Seems like it's kind of an out-sized promotion choice. Asi and 'Lop continue an on-going discussion. Something-something about Jar Jar Abrams. Something-something about Nolan. Stanley Kubrick's corpse rolls over in his grave and screams, "Leave me out of this!" I don't think Asi understands 'Lop's point. 'moose brings the holiday cheer.December 21st, 2009. 'Lop reviews THE SEVEN-UPS and gives it 2 stars out of 5, saying it is not nearly as good as he once thought it was. 'Lop and Stabby discuss film "literacy," continuing the "elitist" conversation and presaging the "aficionado" conversation. SNL makes fun of "Shnookie." Cheeses blows his wad all over AVATAR. Something about AVATAR makes Cheeses equate it with a lot of penis stimulation and ejaculation. I'm not sure that was The King of The World's intention, but, sure, okay, whatever. Morbius likes AVATAR a lot, too.December 22nd, 2009. Stabby thinks "aficionado" describes people who like films better than "fanboy," which he thinks should be reserved for Michael Baytards, resulting in some confusion. I don't think "fanboy" has ever been as derogatory as "film snob," a phrase only ever used as an insult. I'd often rather discuss movies with someone with more varied tastes than a blockbuster aficionado. That's just me. Same reason I'd rather not discuss religion with a Born-Againer or politics with a FOX News aficionado. While you guys were talking about that, my nephew and I watched IT MIGHT GET LOUD. Volume was not our issue. 2.5 out of 5 stars, splitting the difference between his rating and mine. Cheeses and 'Lop list non-super-powered comic book characters that kick the most ass.December 23rd, 2009. Stabby's recipe for cocktails calls for ice cubes made of Walt Disney's cryogenically-frozen reputation as a bigot. Goofy News '09 'moose shares video of a fatman in a bathtub and an evil snowman. Michael Keaton impersonates Bruce Springsteen to amuse Dweezil Zappa. savagedave finally shows up with a few satirical video mash-ups: Lars Von Trier's ANTI-CHRIST with Kermit The Frog in place of the talking fox and THE BIG LEBOWSKI trailer cast with characters from MONSTERS, INC. Also, some impressive video of Damien Walters doing that extreme gymnastics thing he does. Hard-core parkour, or PARK-CORE. TEDDY'S HERE! He likes "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." I wish Cheeses had taken out his cell-phone and gotten video of Lucas and Spielberg slobbering all over Cameron's knob. Because he could've sold it to E! or TMZ for lots of thousands, and I could borrow some money from him. Just for the record, mi amigo primero, my main problem with AVATAR is not the number of people who like it. "What we have he-yah, is a fay-loor to communeek-ate." When I mentioned Pinocchio, I wasn't comparing opening weekend Box Office scores, which, I consider meaningless. If you are going to brandish bank accounts, then, for consistency's sake, you're going to have to defend TWILIGHT and TRANSFORMERS II as great movies. You can go anywhere in the English-speaking world, many places in Asia, and, most likely, visit some tribes in Africa and show the people there a picture of the cartoon version of Pinocchio, and they will recognize it. 70 years after his "box office failure." If you want to convince me that AVATAR has broad appeal beyond the 18-45 male demographic, you're going to have to bring some statistical validation that is independent of a Fox press release. Or, at least, wait a few weeks. Sixies found THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG to be charming and AVATAR to be one of his top 5 favorite movies of the year. He wishes I were kidnapped and taken to see it. Not literally. If I ever am kidnapped, I'd rather just be chained to the wall of a bunker with electrodes on my balls. Not literally.December 24th, 2009. 'Lop is stirred by INVICTUS. 4 out of 5 stars. Sixies sings a lovely Pretenders song and recites "'Twas the Night Before Christmas."December 25th, 2009. Morbs sends his all-holiday greetings. Asi compliments Cobra, seemingly forgetting that he admitted to ignoring Cobra only a few days before. This is why I dig Asi: His grudges aren't real grudges. Well, other than his Jar Jar grudges. While they were doing that, I was shoveling snow and getting creamed with snow-balls.December 26th, 2009. 'moose shares a "True Meaning of Christmas" video. I often have wondered why "we" have to remind ourselves of the true meaning of Christmas every year. None of "us" are that forgetful, are we? We've got everybody from Han Solo to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles telling us the "true" meaning of Christmas from November 1st to December 25th, annually! Interestingly, Christian groups buy and sell a lot of Christian-themed shit this time of year. You'd think they'd be content to sit in their living rooms "true meaning" each other into bliss. I was entertained but not impressed by UP IN THE AIR. 3 out of 5 stars.OK. So now what? -
Richard Dragon, Taskmaster and Batroc. Which is OK, because I'm rooting for their opponents in their first rounds anyway.
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where they just fix it for Captain America, is it? 'Cause if that's the case, we might just as well call it now.
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THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS trailer has piqued my interest. I really hope the discussion around that film doesn't dissolve into "Colin Farrell couldn't suck Heath Ledger's cock."
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They only did one interesting thing IMO: when they had an actual shrink psycho analyze villains like the Joker, Lex Luthor & Dr. Doom.
But I won't lie Subs, Caps got a good chance. If you looked at this like a real MMA fight, he's got a lot going for him. -
Roads are finally plowed so I can finally hit some bars.
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Superheroes and Mixed Martial Arts.I'd probably have better luck with Rocket Science and Slovakian History.Looking forward to it, though.
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Two things that Cameron could make interesting with his new 3-d technology…Oh, and, I did try to get a snapshot of Spielberg and Lucas blowing Cameron, but Peter Jackson kept jumping in front of me while masturbating wildly and his wide ass is not something I want captured on my camera phone…Glad you made it home safe, Subs...
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Batman vs. Gladiator… Batman no contest…
Bullseye vs. Punisher…Bullsey pulls off upset
Kingpin vs. Wildcat …Kingpin sits on the Cat
Nightwing vs. Daredevil …Lights out for Dick Grayson
Captain America vs. Bane…Cap no contest
Deathstroke vs. Taskmaster…best match in the set…Taskmaster pulls the upset
Shang-Chi vs. Richard Dragon…Shang Chi, because he is actually oriental
Batroc vs. Killer Croc…Croc smears frog
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I heard the 3 replacements for Heath gave their fees to mathilda.
I thought that was kinda sweet -
Do you mean his daughter, Matilda?If so, that is sweet...
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All you S guys throw me off...
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Batman. Punisher. Kingpin. Daredevil. Captain America. Taskmaster. Shang-chi.
Killer croc. -
Subtitles points out that no one has referred to Asians as "orientals" since the middle of the previous millennium.Cheeses says he thought I wanted to revive Walt Disney-style film-making and the best way to do that is to bring back an archaic way of thinking.Someone will explain to me who and what Batroc is - I know he leaps - since 'Lop forgot to brief us on him.
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Because guys with buzz-saws grafted to their wrists have to be kind of careful to not cut themselves.
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Because he's wise-crackerier.
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Because when unstoppable force meets immovable object, unstoppable force shatters into a hundred pieces.
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And, when he's finished, Matt Murdock wishes he were deaf rather than blind, so he wouldn't have to hear all the whining from Batman Jr.
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Thats all you need to know, Subs...
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Because, according to the rules, Captain America can't use his shield to sever Bane's venom feed. And, because Bane fights dirty. Granted, red, white and blue spandex probably goes over really big with the MMA crowd. Bane's gonna have to down-play the whole luchador motif.
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Because 'Stroke is too busy bitchin' with the promoters, insisting he wanted a crack at The Punisher.
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Dec 27, 2009 9:47:31 PM CST
Batroc would surrender to Walt Disney's frozen head...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
Comething Cameron never did...
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Yeah, that means exactly what you think .
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Whichever one sports a tattoo. Because tattoos are big with MMA-ers. If neither one sports a tattoo, I have to go with Richard Dragon. After Wikipedia-ing him, I learned he re-grew a full head of hair for a re-boot after being completely bald for most of his continuity. I gotta go with a guy like that.
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more information on Batroc. Really, are these guys matched up just because of the "roc" thing?
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Batman vs. Task master…Bats wins because he has fought so many super powered villains and heroes and he knows there are few videos of him as Batman taking out criminals…Bats has a unique form of combined battle tactics…he cuts the lights so the Taskman can’t see his moves and quietly takes out the Super villian temp service CEO…
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And I shouldn't because, as a kid, I know I read Shang-Chi comics. He's the son of Fu Man Chu! But, I have to ask, why Shang-Chi and not Iron Fist (who is arguably more well-known)? Does Iron Fist have superpowers?
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'Lop will be motivated to pull some tricks from up his sleeve to make it more surprising.
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...this thread will have 905 responses. It's JUST a poster. Y'all must have gone off on some tangents or somethin'.
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You can post about anything you want here, Jaka.
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Civil Rights pioneer and lawyer who represented Malcolm X.
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You take that back, Jaka...
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A mutated, drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis has now reached the U.S.
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http://tinyurl.com/ykrwj87
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Dec 27, 2009 10:38:32 PM CST
Ha ha ha hah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Bitches
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Dec 27, 2009 10:39:44 PM CST
News of The Day: NFL Season Is 3 Weeks Too Long, Dept.
by subtitles_off
Colts lose. Cowboys win.
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lol, ok, ok - I take it back. Because clearly (like an unmuddied lake) it's MUCH more than just a poster (it's also a piece of paper and some ink... with words). : )Subtitles_Off, Oh yah, I know. I'm participating in doing so on a couple of other threads. I was just surprised to see this one approaching four digits. Actually says a lot for Nolan's films - that people would hang around this post for so long.
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Does a good job again...Kobe, on the other hand, does a bad impression of the Creeper...but, he still remains a creep...
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this group has been together for over 30,000 posts ...This in our new home...Something Kobe can't stand...Sit back and watch his childish rantings unfold...
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I hope you had a wonderful yuletide holiday.
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Dec 27, 2009 11:13:23 PM CST
And by the way, I got here before any of you did
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
However I shall graciously allow you to share my thread.
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I found that top 100 weird things post, very funny. Thank you for posting it.
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Mighty gracious of you to let us stay...
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I think you should have included Harvey comics into the MMA. Imagine Archie and Jugghead vs killer croc and deathstroke. My money is on the Harvs.
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And as you are aware (having been married to a Jew) Hanukkah is a very minor holiday, but I thank you anyway for the thought.
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Dec 27, 2009 11:21:42 PM CST
I shall now take my leave of you fine fellows
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Toodles.
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you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet." - Tina Fey, January 11, 2009
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very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people's money to help prevent there to be a crisis." - President George W. Bush, January 12, 2009.
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Obama fails." - Rush Limbaugh, January 16, 2009
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you couldn't be here tonight." - David Letterman to Joaquin Phoenix, February 11, 2009
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you guys said that we, um, did this for the show." - Falcon Heene, The Balloon Boy, October 15, 2009.
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really means this is it." - Michael Jackson announcing his plans for a "farewell" comeback tour, March 5, 2009
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followed CNBC's [economic] advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with $100 million." - Jon Stewart, interviewing CNBC investment "guru" Jim Cramer, March 12, 2009
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my attention on being a better husband, father and person." - Tiger Woods, December 11, 2009
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a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders." - Former Minnesota Governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura, May 11, 2009
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rape-rape." - Whoopi Goldberg on Roman Polanski, September, 27, 2009
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anything about cars." - Edward E. Whitacre, Jr., current CEO of General Motors, June 9, 2009
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It was "surprise sex."
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This time IMAX 3D
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I guess we'll see you back here when you are a totally different person, since your life will be changed forever.
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liked the old Sixies, before he was changed forever.
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"Who wants to be the same forever? Who wants to be the same forever?"
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Change of fight for Round 1 - Instead of Kingpin vs. Wildcat and Nightwing vs. Daredevil, it will be Kingpin vs. NIghtwing and Daredevil vs. Wildcat. I was debating back and forth which fight to have, and decided my earlier decision was a more interesting match up. Sorry if this fucks up anyones bets.
So Bracket 1 now is:
Batman vs. Gladiator
Wildcat vs. Daredevil
Kingpin vs. Nightwing
Bullseye vs. Punisher
And Subs: I chose Iron Fist over Shang-Chi because A) Shang-Chi has always been considered the better kung fu fighter and B) Iron Fist has a power, his magical energy Iron Fist - it is little more of an actual power than DD's radar sense or even Taskmaster's photographic reflexes.
So without further ado, here is the first round (No time limits, and only three ways to lose - submission/surrender; KO or death). -
you forgot to give us the break-down on Batroc. I know he leaps, he holds the title of The in leaping, but what else does he bring to the fight?
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Wildcat should smear Daredevil and Nightwing has even less of a chance than he did before.
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Gladiator goes straight for the crotch.
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I'll probably like the changed Sixies, too, but we'll always look at each other and wonder what might have been, and that'll get awkward after awhile.
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"without further ado" has been delayed by ten minutes of my further ado.
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I hope nobody dies! I don't think I could handle somebody else in the Nightwing tights...GRIN.
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THE MATCHUP: Poor Bats really has to start out with a tough one here. In the comics, DD doesn’t really have a problem with Gladiator, but if it was the real world I imagine even a guy with radar sense would most likely get his head handed to him by Melvin Potter. Why? Because he is a friggin’ huge guy in armor with buzzsaws on his wrist.
The most dangerous weapon in close combat (according to the late-great close combats expert William E. Fairbairn) was the knife, and the reason why was because of the fact it had more angles of attack than a gun - you only to worry about the end of a barrel with a pistol, a knife or blade has usually more than one edge and can usually be swivelled around. Well, once again, these are twirling buzzsaws on Gladiator’s wrist, which means they 360 weapons, only the top of the blades or the bottom or Gladiator’s wrist are the same place to grab or hit if you want to disarm him.
Plus he wears armor. What good is a good right cross or head kick when the guys most vulnerable body parts - his head and chest/midsection - are all protected. Batman punched Gladiator in the head while he wears his helmet, it will more likely than not hurt Batman more than Gladiator. Even most of Batman’s weapons in his utility belt are useless against him (batarangs and shurikens will most likely just bounce off his armor, & Gladiator could cut a bolo in seconds).
Finally, Melvin Potter out weighs Bats by 90lbs and had the reach on him. All-in-all Melvin has a lot of advantages.
But Bats is far from helpless here. First he has the advantage of being way better trained than Gladiator - Melvin Potter is just a big crazy tailor who made himself this armor; he is a good brawler and has a lot of experience fighting, but he isn’t like Batman who has spent decades studying every damn scenario. Batman might be the only person alive who you could argue actually perfected techniques and maneuvers to use if he ever happened to fight a man armed with buzzsaws on his wrist.
Secondly, Gladiator’s helmet is definitely going to interfere with his field of vision - Batman still has to make sure he dodges every swing by Gladiator because even a grazing blow could a seriously hurt him, but at least if he moves around enough Gladiator will probably lose track of him. Plus this is one time where Batman’s cape could become a huge asset, since he could use it like a matador against a bull as a distraction/target/decoy.
Finally, Batman is in way better condition than Gladiator. Melvin might be a stronger guy, but that doesn’t mean he has the endurance or even the explosiveness of Batman. Plus I don’t care how strong Gladiator, all that weight from his equipment has to slow him down and tire him out after carrying it awhile. Also, Melvin has a history of quitting and getting scared - he lacks Batman’s heart and never-surrender attitude.
PREDICTION: This is a long fight: Batman plays hit and run, using leg kicks to try and rob Gladiator of his mobility and will to fight, while also using his smoke bombs and tear gas grenades to rob Gladiator even more visibility. Gladiator will get a could of hits - nothing direct but enough to cut Bats seriously and cause some serious bleeding. In the end, a bleeding Batman will fight off unconsciousness long enough to finally get a wheezing, gasping Gladiator to throw in the buzzsaws and quit.
WINNER: Batman by submission. -
Old time Captain America foe. Frenchmen with stereotypical accent, Salvidor Dali mustache and corny costume. Despite these ridiculous features he is one of Cap's oldest foes and has given him many a good fight. He is a former member of the French Foreign Legion before becoming a mercenary, giving him years of experience.
He is also a highly skilled and trained athlete who is a master of Savate - the French style of foot fighting (kicking). However, Savate is actually a broad term for both boxe Franciase (French Boxing), which is French Kick Boxing and sport - and the self defense style of Savate, which uses kicks, knees and elbows. Also, as part of Savate training a savateur would also learn la canne & la baton (cane/baton/stick fighting). This means that Batroc knows how to use his feet and fist in a fight, and can fight pretty damn good with a baton. He is also known for his leaping and acrobatic ability, which makes me suspect he knows parkour (which is what was featured in the chase scene in Africa in the beginning of Casino Royale). -
THE MATCH-UP: This fight is a battle between a couple of boxer. Sure Daredevil is also skilled in martial arts and acrobatics, and Wildcat has added more to his repertoire than just his fist over the years, at heart these two still go at it like pugilist.
Daredevils strategy will be to try and be an outside fighter, letting his speed and reach serve his advantage. He’ll punch and kick to keep Wildcat at bay, while he tries to set him up for a big hit. DD’s oriental martial arts background will help here because he’ll be able to throw a lot of low leg kicks at Wildcat, something that Wildcat is probably not that used to and won’t be able to see to block or avoid. These might rob Wildcat of some of his mobility. DD will also try to hit him with looping punches coming from beyond his field of vision.
Also, since DD is blind but has radar sense, he’ll try to use that to his advantage by targeting Wildcat’s eye. Either he will blacken them, cut Wildcat and try to get the blood to blind him, or even poke his eyes, his goal will be to rob Wildcat of his sight, something DD doesn’t have to worry about.
Wildcat in turn is going to try and be an inside fighter in this one so he can negate a lot of DD’s reach advantage, coming in close and bobbing and weaving so DD can’t figure out where he is going (does matter if he has radar sense or not, if you can’t figure out where he is going what does it matter if you can sense him or not). Wildcat will also try to get DD in the cinch a lot; since this is a street fight and not a boxing match, he doesn’t have to worry about a ref breaking them apart so he can do a lot of dirty boxing, rabbit punching, head butting, elbowing and other dirty tactics against Matt Murdock.
PREDICTION: Both are good fighters, with DD actually having a wider range of skills. Normally I would say that would give DD an advantage (I normally go with the theory that the person with more weapons they can use effectively will win) but that isn’t necessarily the case here. The reason why is simply this: how often does DD train?
Wildcat is a former Boxing champ and full time fighter. He used to train 6 hours a day, 6 days a week and now as a hero probably lives off his winnings, so he still has plenty of time to train and workout, which is very vital for a fighter. But DD? He is a superhero and a full-time lawyer. Being a lawyer is a very time consuming job, so I ask when does DD have time to work out and train? Going on patrols is probably his training regiment, which is ok but not nearly as effective as hitting the gym and killing yourself for a couple of hours. Plus, how often does DD go on patrol if also has to work on cases (mental note: never hire the firm of Murdock & Nelson)?
I see Wildcat looking like a young Mike Tyson. He might not kill DD (Daredevil has way to much skill and his radar sense is a huge advantage) but I do see him getting in close and constantly throwing punches at DD, never giving him a moment’s rest. DD will dodge a lot of them, but enough will hit to deal some very harsh damage. After awhile Wildcat is going to land a big right cross, hook or uppercut that is going to send DD into dreamland.
WINNER: If this was a boxing match, I would say Wildcat would have the TKO in the 10th, but for these rules Wildcat by KO. -
THE MATCH-UP: Nightwing is definitely coming into this fight as an underdog in the crowd’s opinion, but I have to say I think people are underestimating him. Wether you like the character or not (and I am not really a fan of him at all), if you look at it logically on paper Nightwing is pretty tough: Bruce Wayne/Batman trained Dick Grayson himself, teaching him everything he knows. But unlike Batman who had to find out what works or is good by trail and error, Nightwing just learned the stuff that Bats already knew was effective. Plus, Bruce Wayne wasn’t fighting crime until he was 24-29 (depending on the telling), Dick was fighting crime since a kid. If Nightwing met Batman at the same age as he is now, he might very well hand his mentor his ass.
However, you could also argue that while Nightwing might be just as experienced or well-trained as Batman, he lacks his commitment and dedication. Batman is obsessed with becoming the greatest crimefighter; Nightwing comes across as the kid pushed into a sport or into acting by his parent. Grayson might still be fighting crime but that is because that is all he knows, it isn’t his passion like it is Batman’s, and without the world’s most dangerous Stage Dad pushing him I doubt Nightwing would still be doing this (unlike Bruce, I think Dick has gotten over his parent’s deaths).
One thing Nightwing definitely falls short of his mentor is his size. Bruce Wayne is a good 35lbs of muscle bigger than him, and has a longer reach. Against someone like the Kingpin that would be helpful for Nightwing, but he makes up a lot his lack of size with his escrima sticks. It extends his reach and increases his ability to inflict damage (something that Batman should really think about getting).
PREDICTION: Nightwing will put up a very good fight, hitting Kingpin with his Escrima sticks and kicks and trying to stay out of his reach, much like what DD does against the big man with his billy club. But unlike DD, Nightwing doesn’t have the same reach advantage so he’ll have to move in a little closer and be within reach of the Kingpin’s grasp. He also doesn’t have the Daredevil’s radar sense and heightened sense of hearing and touch, meaning he won’t be able to detect the Kingpin’s movements and shifting weight as easily, which is a great advantage when facing a grappler like the Kingpin.
So Kingpin is just going to fend him off, using his walking cane to counter Nightwing’s escrima sticks, until finally getting his paws on him, in which that case Nightwing is in for a world of trouble since Fisk can throw him around like a ragdoll and then just lay on top of him. Nightwing is strong, but I don’t think he’ll be able to get someone as big as 450lbs Wilson Fisk off of him.
WINNER: Kingpin by chokehold. -
Is the fact you come up with imaginary comic book fight tournaments. I have to say I can't wait for when I head back to LA.
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SYNDROMES & A CENTURY (Sang Sattawat)2006. Thailand. Subtitled.Directed by Apichatpong WeersethakulFour unresolved courtships detailed in two stream-of-conscious narratives. Scenes repeat with thematic variations like a classical music fugue. The images are frequently mesmerizing, but they add up to an incoherent, inconsequential whole, frustratingly suggesting art for art's sake. 2 stars.CACHE (Hidden)2005. French. Subtitled.Directed by Michael Haneke.A riveting, unsettling thriller. Although it derives its dramatic thrust from reaction rather than action, it ought to be admired by any fan of Nolan's MEMENTO. A French couple is terrorized by anonymous phone calls and videotapes mysteriously left on their porch. The director mixes images from video and from character memory with present action, we assume, until the audience can't confidently trust their interpretation. Adding police indifference, French colonial history, and political, racial implications to the stew, concocting a recipe for childhood regret and adult guilt. Maybe. Is it about a man's conscience or a nation's? 5 stars.
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THE MATCH-UP: Well, in the real world a guy can’t just throw objects and turn them into dangerous weapons, but this a conceit we are going to have to accept. And if a guy could really do that and turn pens, playing cards, brushes and other innocuous objects into weapons, he would be pretty damn dangerous. I mean, if you could actually be able to pick up a glass or a pencil and be able to hurl it with enough accuracy and force to actually kill, no matter what you’ll never be unarmed and you’ll always be able to get a chance to kill someone with just one blow.
Frank Castle however, is dealing with a big disadvantage. The Punisher is a former Marine, and while he is trained for close combat, including unarmed combat, a lot of his time is spent training with weapons. If guns and grenades were allowed to be used, The Punisher, Deathstroke and Taskmaster would be the clear cut favorites. However, they are not, and that means he has to depend on just his knife and his martial arts training.
And The Punisher is a great hand-to-hand fighter, but I doubt he is at “professional” rank. And by that I mean, if every hero here spends 4 hours a day training in fighting, Frank Castle is splitting that time with 2 hours towards guns and 2 hours towards his hands and knife. Much more than the average thug and criminal, but not the same level as a pro-fighter.
I said earlier that I usually go with the fighter with more weapons, well in this case we have just halved a fighters weapons. That is a big lose of skill level and a hard thing to overcome (imagine if Zorro fought Robin Hood and said no bows, that is how big of impact taking away his guns is).
Even without his guns, The Punisher is still a tough foe for Bullseye. If Punisher manages to close the distance and get near him to his use kabar or hands, he can seriously fuck up Bullseye who might be a excellent hand-to-hand fighter, but that isn’t his specialty.
PREDICTION: Bullseye will be smart and won’t fuck around with someone as dangerous as The Punisher, he’ll keep his distance and keep picking him apart with thrown objects. Without a good distance weapon himself and without DD’s radar sense, he won’t be able to dodge Bullseye’s attacks. I hate to say it, but Bullseye kills The Punisher.
WINNER: Bullseye for the kill.
NOTE: If guns were allowed, I would pick The Punisher by a landslide. Sure, Bullseye might be a better shot, but that doesn’t mean he knows how to use guns better. The Punisher has the training, experience and knowledge of firearm tactics to take on guys like Bullseye and Deadshot. Sure they would kill him in the open, but he is smart enough to sucker them somewhere he can just blow them away from cover. -
he's been lucky to have Batman around to save pull his ass out of the fire so many times. The idea that the student always surpasses the teacher is a fantasy of pre-puberty. Nightwing's a schmear.
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I'm going to UP IN THE AIR right now. Tell you what I think when I get back.
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Nightwing's a schmear, right?Kingpin sat on him.
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Four for four is Nightwing's a schmear.Nightwing's a schmear.
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Well that definitely was the way to see it.
Jesus the 3d wasn't all showy as in other flicks. And the storys growing on me.....a lot. The imagery is pretty powerful too I can see semblances to 9/11 and obviosly Iraq. Anybody who complains that this film is anti-American can eat a dick. That's just their guilty conscious talking. sneaking into holmes now. oh yeah I got an iPhone so I can do this shit on the run. I fear for the Internet. -
He'll disable Croc, skin him, fry him up, freedom fries-like, and tell us all it tastes like "poulet."
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On like donkey kong tomm
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I think Nightwing is much more advanced then Batman when he started, but he could never improve like Bruce did.
it is the age old saying, never follow a great man. -
That'll be the day I'll let all you nitwits tell me movies have changed forever. The day I can pay for HOLMES and sneak into the gimmicky 3-D crap.
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Pays twice for the shit-blowed-up-good stuff but only willing to give the good flicks a charity buck!
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Dec 28, 2009 12:21:40 PM CST
Sixies with the "eat a dick" imagery, too, just like Cheeses.
by subtitles_off
AVATAR is turning all blockbuster aficionados into male-on-male perverts?
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You can do everything with it except make a telephone call.
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I certainly enjoyed the new 'Sherlock Holmes' film. How about you gents? Oh, and don't worry- it's the old me. I haven't seen Avatar yet.
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And not just Avatar, but other movies of its ilk (Prequels) simply lack weight. There's no substance to it. And when the story too carries no weight, no substance as well (as I hear as a recurring critique of Avatar) then there's really no reason to watch it. If you're looking at something that isn't real and you're not really gaining anything from it, then what's the point? Escapism?
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SPOILERS:
Ok, no real spoilers. Just a rant: Are you fucking serious? You make a movie about people getting fired in this economy and you only use it as a backdrop for a fucking comedy about relationships? In fact the entire firing angle is just a fucking subplot/gimmick, and not really vital to the plot. And to have the audacity to say that Clooney should be envious of the people he fired because they have connections and family and he is so alone is just fucking offensive. Yeah, family and connections are nice; not seeing them starve, freeze or have kids watch their father cry because he was made less than a man I think is a little better.
Clooney, Reitman, FUCK YOU!
End Rant. -
FINALLY! Jeez, been dying to know what you thought about it. I think we are 2 for 2 now with The Road and Up In The Air.
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Yeah i know what you are saying with Avatar. Except unlike the prequels it was good. But that was it. It was just a solid once and done story that was a good time at the theater. Nothing about it made me want to go out and BUY the toys, learn more about it. Unlike the original Star Wars where you wanted to see more and more adventures from the characters. Avatar is just sort of a NON issue. Its just a solid event film, with really little left to talk/care about afterward.
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I can't help but compare this to any other summer "epic" . Those are devoid of any thought and is basically just chaos. Avatar had a plot and more importantly from a good filmmaker, the knowledge when to shut the fuck up and let the scenes play out naturally. Heaven forbid there's actually "quiet" scenes in this film. And no I didn't get dizzy once but I'm getting nauseous when two actors are saying goodbye to each other in TF2.I will take cams films anyday. seriously subs pay for holmes or whatever and after mosey on in to avatar.
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I almost saw TF2 for the first time the night before I saw Avatar. Luckily I waited a while after Avatar. God I could not believe just HOW fucking busy TF2 was. The non stop moving camera, the lack of periods in the script. It was like non of the characters sentences had periods on the end by mistake, so all the actors read their dialog like it was always some rapid fire back and forth. Also just the fact that TF2 was even made I can't understand. Just an awful awful movie. The only thing that movie did right was getting the original Optimus Prime voice for better or worse. And Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget, would've been nice if there had been a NEXT TIME SHIA, NEXT TIIIIMMMMMMMEEEEE!!!!!!
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Pretty entertaining affair. RDJ and Law have a good chemistry together. but I'm afraid that after seeing the iron man 2 and sorcerers apprentice trailers before the film that RDJ is following nic cage in phoning in roles with the crazy scrick. I don't want the directors to give him free reign most surprising of the whole film is score by Hans Zimmer. Sounds like nothing he's done....for a while at least
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Was the little homages to the old Rathbone version.
SPOILERS
The scene with Holmes stoned playing the violin for the flies was taken from THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES; and when Inspector Lestrade is unable to pronounce catatonic, that was taken from SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE PEARL OF DEATH. -
UP IN THE AIR. Why was everyone pissed at you for leaking info about that movie?
SPOILERS.
You said he dies, didn't you? Unless it is an ambiguous off camera death I didn't notice because I was so annoyed, you lied. Why the fuck did everyone get upset at you? -
FLIGHT OF THE RED BALLOON (La Voyage du Ballon Rouge)2007. Taiwanese. French. Subtitled.Directed by Hsiao-hsien Hou.When is a remake not a remake? When it's an homage. This gentle, leisurely-paced film is inspired by Lamourisse's classic short THE RED BALLOON, but the balloon that followed a young school-boy around in the original fantasy is represented in this slice-of-life drama as the Asian nanny caring for the son of a frazzled Parisian puppeteer, played, in a largely improvised performance, by Juliette Binoche. Occasionally, an actual balloon plays hide and seek with the charming young boy as a subject in the film-student nanny's latest project or reflected, on a window's surface, here, in a painted ad on the side of a wall, or in a painting hung in a museum, there. Quiet and meditative.4 stars.
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Amen, 'Lop. Though, I wasn't as offended, and I'm the one living the situation of someone "transitioned" to protect stockholder profits during the current American economy.I guess I was swayed by the gorgeous Vera Farmiga (how about Reitman clumsily turning her into a kick in the nuts?) and by Clooney, whose general obnoxiousness was perfect for this role.Hopefully, nobody mistook my 3-star review for a recommendation. I thought the movie was average.As for the use of real-life misfortune as a mere contrivance for a "shucks, keep your chin up" situation: Well, that's what Hollywood films always do, innit? Why hold it against this more harshly than anything else?
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It's been ages.
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Meet New Sixies. New Sixies. Meet Teddy.
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Dec 28, 2009 4:05:57 PM CST
HA! Series. I'm gonna start "spoiling" films like that.
by subtitles_off
SPOILERIn AVATAR, Pandora is not a planet.It's a page in a child's coloring book.
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for all I give a fuck.
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that would've been a much better joke, Morbs.
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You realized you never ended Nightwing's turn inside the Octagon®?
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What happened was read this: "George Clooney plays Bingham as one of those people you meet but never get to know. They go through all the forms, and know all the right moves, and you're “friends,” but — who's in there? At his funeral, people confess they never really knew him. Sitting in a first-class seat one day, asked where he lives, Bingham says, “Here.”" That is from Ebert's review of the movie. Now does it not sound like Ebert is saying Bigham dies in the movie? Its a terribly written paragraph. So I MIStook it and said Clooney dies in the movie. Zombie Heath Ledger got all upitty and pissy about it. I'm pretty sure it was just him because he seems to have like 3-4 fake names as well. So I didn't really spoil the movie, I put that before I even saw the movie. The only real spoiler is that Vera is really already married in the end. Did you check out my reivews of the film?
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Since I haven't been coming here as much.
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In CITIZEN KANE, "Rosebud" is an imaginary rabbit.
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http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3079313/bio
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Doesn't matter. It's a fluffy nothing of a thing to spoil.Everybody knows the ending, going into an action picture or a historical war movie. The hero wins. The villain loses. The fun is in the way the film-maker gets you to that ending.People who are spoiler-phobic should stay clear of websites where others are discussing film. I've been dancing around my conclusions from THE HURT LOCKER for a month, so as not to spoil it, and that movie was designed to be discussed.
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I wanna see his name above the title on a movie poster.Poster designer's fucking nightmare!
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My post RE: spoilers reads as if I've mistaken UP IN THE AIR for an action movie. I learned how to write about movies from Roger Ebert.
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I post, leave for a while, and everybody comes back all of a sudden. Hold on, let me get caught up.
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Try to figure out what the hell he is talking about in his Fantastic Mr. Fox review.
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I'm still wondering if I even saw the same movie everybody else did. Course, I feel that way often.By the way, how do you like my use of "flummoxed?" Bet that's a word you've never heard used in conversation.
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Nice grab. I've heard it before, but it was probably in something British.
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But valid points to be sure. I'm still not sure what Jason Reitman thought he was doing when he made Up in the Air. I've really admired everything he's done thus far, so I'll give him a pass this one time. But just this once.
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Who was Yves Rocher? Beats me, but Netscape thinks I should know.
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In New Zealand.
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Sorry, just the show.
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That's what's stands it from the rest. I'd say MORE time is spent on the message and the quiet parts than the big action scenes. apart from the finale there really isn't much bang bang. Granted there is spectacle and excitement but not for the sake of doing it it's vital to the growth and understanding of the main character
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You thought UP IN THE AIR was inferior to JUNO?I think Ghostbuster Jr.'s been going downhill since two-thirds of the way through THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING, but I didn't feel as if my intelligence had been surprise-sexed quite as much with this one as with his last one.
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In the Octagon®THE BATTLE FOR WORD OF THE DAYNo rules. No submission.
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Part 1: http://tinyurl.com/ydpcvl3
Part 2: http://tinyurl.com/ybag54r -
Reitman gets any respect. Especially after making one of the lamest sex scenes of all time with Thank you For not smoking. Fucking throw in the towel right there.
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The DVD I couldn't be bothered to wipe down when it froze up fifteen minutes before the end. Good call, Subby, but honestly I haven't even seen Up in the Air yet. I'm just going off preconceived notions and the invaluable input of 'you guys'. On Conti's food scale, this movie sounds like a bag of circus peanuts. And not in a good way.
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R-Rated Comedy: The 40-Year-Old Virgin Horror-Comedy: Shaun of the Dead Teen Comedy: Mean Girls Romantic Comedy: Forgetting Sarah Marshall Action-Comedy: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Dramedy: Punch Drunk Love So Dumb it's Good: Zoolander -
Huh, I do not remember that AT ALL. Was it Aaron Eckhart and Robert Downey Jr.? Cause, you know, Two-Face and Iron Man doing it would be, you know, funny. Right? Eh?
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to "feel-good."Can I borrow that, Series?
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Nepotism.Connections and nepotism.At least that explains him. Now, explain Diablo Fucking Cody.
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I'd replace 40YOV with Pineapple Express and POTC:CotPB with Tropic Thunder. If for no other reason than to simplify the acronyms.
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How good is Daddy Ivan's stock in Hollywood right now? Has he produced or directed anything even close to successful this decade? I think Jason's got some directing chops, but now I'm starting to wonder how he picks his scripts.
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A cute lil film written by a stripper
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10. Sin City 9. Hellboy II: The Golden Army 8. Batman Begins 7. Spider-Man6. X2: X-Men United5. 300 4. Iron Man 3. Spider-Man 2 2. Watchmen
1. The Dark Knight
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Dec 28, 2009 5:19:47 PM CST
Any job that allows you to take a smoke break at your leisure...
by tedkordlives
Is a job to hang on to, am I right?
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Best Action-Adventure: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Best Buddy Flick: Hot Fuzz Best Chop-Socky Offering: Kung Fu Hustle Best Fantasy Epic: The Lord of the Rings Best Historical Epic: Kingdom of Heaven Best in Excess: Crank Best One-Man Army: Taken Best Sci-Fi Action: Children of Men Best Spy Film: The Bourne Ultimatum Best War Film: Black Hawk Down -
I'd take a job that didn't allow smoke breaks.
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I'm going to have to start visiting Cinematical.com more often! Seriously, tho, I'd probably switch Spider-Man 2 with Dark Knight, but that's just me.
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10. Crimson Gold (2003) 9. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (2007) 8. Battle Royale (2000) 7. Pan's Labyrinth (2006) 6. Friday Night (2002) 5. In the Mood for Love (2000) 4. Let the Right One In (2008) 3. Goodbye Dragon Inn (2003) 2. Werckmeister Harmonies (2000) 1. Yi Yi (2000) -
I'd also drop WATCHMEN, 300, BATMAN BEGINS, and HELLBOY II off the list. A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE would be one of my replacements. I'll get back to you with the others.
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You may have had no problem with JUNO, then, but what (right) about now, funk-soul brother, since everything has changed?
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Taken kicked my lame ass to the curb like a bottle of fuckin night train!
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Oh, well, I guess I'm gonna clock out and go home. I'm feeling done with work today ;)
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Best Expository Doc: Why We Fight (2005) Best Observational Doc: Our Daily Bread (2005)
Best Participatory Doc: The Five Obstructions (2003) Best Music Doc: Dig! (2004) Best Nature Doc: Winged Migration (2001) Best Political Doc: Al Franken: God Spoke (2006) Best Iraq War Doc: The Ground Truth: After the Killing Ends (2006) Best Biographical Doc: The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara (2003) Best Sports Doc: Murderball (2005) Best Non-Sporting Competition Doc: Spellbound (2002) Best Foreign Language Doc: Bus 174 (2002) Best Doc Miniseries: The Staircase (2004) Best Discovery Doc: Capturing the Friedmans (2003) Best Doc That Transcends Genre: Man on Wire (2008) -
And I'm all for watching Liam Neeson steamroll all over Europe.
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'Lop's gonna be disappointed. You have no reaction to his Superhero UFC?
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Dec 28, 2009 6:08:23 PM CST
Well, Conti's not here, so I'd be responding to noone in particu
by tedkordlives
But...It's cool. I wanna see more. I wanna do some myself. And I especially want some details on the Nightwing/Kingpin melee. For instance, in exactly how many places will Nightwing's arms be broken? I NEED to know these things.
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See ya New Sixies, Teddy, Series (if you're still out there).Subtitles_Out.
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That's my job. Too bad a body can't get paid for it.
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Razzafrazzinmonkeylovinpieceof...JUST
TELL ME WHEN TO STOP TYPING ALREADY!! -
Sup well my friend.
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Afterwards I realized it's a high brow remake of Commando with Liam taking all sorts of names.
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I don't hate him or anything, but can anyone explain his massive reputation? I found THE DARK KNIGHT kind of meandering, without a satisfying climax. (SPOILERS!) One villain, who was always Batman's physical inferior, gets caught; and the other talks and talks and talks, then dies. I don't remember any breathtaking shots from the movie. The Joker's dialogue was often great, but I can't recall anyone else's, including Batman's. Again, I don't think Nolan's a hack; but why the adualtion? Seriously?
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He hasn't made a bad film.and with his two batman films, he has elevated the idea of a comic book film. That sounds condescending I know but before we had fantastic four and batman 4. Basically comic book films were for kiddies. He showed that you can have serious themes in these films. Take away the makeup and capes and you'd have HEAT.
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THE MATCH-UP: Nightwing is definitely coming into this fight as an underdog in the crowd’s opinion, but I have to say I think people are underestimating him. Wether you like the character or not (and I am not really a fan of him at all), if you look at it logically on paper Nightwing is pretty tough: Bruce Wayne/Batman trained Dick Grayson himself, teaching him everything he knows. But unlike Batman who had to find out what works or is good by trail and error, Nightwing just learned the stuff that Bats already knew was effective. Plus, Bruce Wayne wasn’t fighting crime until he was 24-29 (depending on the telling), Dick was fighting crime since a kid. If Nightwing met Batman at the same age as he is now, he might very well hand his mentor his ass.
However, you could also argue that while Nightwing might be just as experienced or well-trained as Batman, he lacks his commitment and dedication. Batman is obsessed with becoming the greatest crimefighter; Nightwing comes across as the kid pushed into a sport or into acting by his parent. Grayson might still be fighting crime but that is because that is all he knows, it isn’t his passion like it is Batman’s, and without the world’s most dangerous Stage Dad pushing him I doubt Nightwing would still be doing this (unlike Bruce, I think Dick has gotten over his parent’s deaths).
One thing Nightwing definitely falls short of his mentor is his size. Bruce Wayne is a good 35lbs of muscle bigger than him, and has a longer reach. Against someone like the Kingpin that would be helpful for Nightwing, but he makes up a lot his lack of size with his escrima sticks. It extends his reach and increases his ability to inflict damage (something that Batman should really think about getting).
But against Wilson Fisk he is going to have some problems. First off, Nightwing has never faced anyone like the Kingpin (a huge, strong guy with really impressive grappling credentials); Kingpin, however, has faced a someone very similar to Nightwing - Daredevil, an acrobatic hero armed with a club. A lot of Fisk’s tactics can carry over. Plus Nightwing doesn’t have DD’s heightened senses (especially radar and sense of touch) that would help you detect the shifting weight and change in body position, which would be very helpful against a wrestler like Fisk.
Fisk also has lots of experience and training in Asian Martial Arts, so you can’t take him by surprise with leg kicks like you would other opponents.
PREDICTION: Nightwing will do better than expected, but his lack of reach (as compared to DD) will mean sooner or later Fisk will get his hands on him and be able to take him down. Once on top of his Grayson is finished; I can’t imagine him being able to move 450lbs of Wilson Fisk.
WINNER: Wilson Fisk by choke hold. -
Dec 28, 2009 8:21:01 PM CST
Yeah, but Batman/Bruce Wayne never got raped by a chick...
by burnhollywood
I miss The Tarantula. That bitch was *muy caliente*...
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The adulation is always in direct proportion to the geekiness of the subject. Had Nolan never directed a Batman film - or, even more to the point, had the previous director of Batman films not been such a flamboyant pedophile of comic books - I doubt there'd be all that much adulation.Still, you gotta admit, better him than Zack Snyder, right?
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Wait. Is that what those things are called? I always thought they were billy clubs.
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Comic book fights are my bitch!
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Dec 28, 2009 8:44:19 PM CST
Hello Mr. Continentalop. Hello Mr. Subtitles_Off
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred has not been around for a while, but is glad that yinzers are still here. Fred has enjoyed reading the MMA fight. Although Fred thinks some of the entrants may have an unfair advantage due their strength and endurance being *ahem* artificially enhanced. Hee hee.
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It's not a game changer, but it sure is entertaining and thought provoking. And beautiful... Definitely.
I'm glad I never went nuts on the anti-hype, or the other extreme. I was 'meh' about it and now I'm 'ooh' and 'awe' about it.
Moving on... My top 10 films of 2009:
10. I Love You, Man
9. Avatar
8. District 9
7. Zombieland
6. Up
5. Chocolate (USA release date: 2009)
4. Drag Me to Hell
3. The Hurt Locker
2. Star Trek
1. Inglourious Basterds -
Need to read more books. Which should I watch first---FOX or WTWTA?
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Take I Love You, Man off the list and replace it with Where the Wild Things Are. There.
Thanks for inadvertently reminding me, 6DB. -
Simply so that i've posted in the top three talkbacks.You may now continue talking about....whatever it was you were talking about.
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FOX is funny and charming but slight. WTWTA requires your concentration and emotional investment. I guess I'd think WTWTA is like a meal, and FANTASTIC MR. FOX is like dessert.Would you eat your cake first if you had the chance?
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That movie reminds me of a smartass comment some critic once made about the film A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT...something to the tune of, "If you didn't know better, you'd think you'd actually watched a great movie!"
If you didn't recognize what made RESERVOIR DOGS, PULP FICTION and JACKIE BROWN great, you might actually think that clumsy blob of cinematic mush was actually an achievement. -
end-of-year regard going I LOVE YOU, MAN 's way instead of to THE HANGOVER. I'm not considering it as a great movie or anything, but it made me laugh out loud, while HANGOVER left me feeling sort of creeped out.
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INGLOURIOUS is more audacious than anything you've seen or are likely to see until they re-define "audacious" for some Cameron thing in a dozen years. It had some minor flaws and can't quite match R-DOGS or JACKIE BROWN, but it's, every bit of it, superior to PULP FICTION.
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That's what I was thinking. If by some chance WTWTA totally crushes me I can get cheered up by FOX. Nothing like driving home crying like a baby. Benjamin button tore me apart a year ago.
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on New Sixies favorite current movie: It, along with TWILIGHT and HOLMES, continues the trend of summer popcorn movies invading the winter months, marginalizing adult-directed, dramatic, challenging films even more. Used to be, when the weather got cold, you could count on sneaking into a theater to warm your brain.We are now entering the era of all-pop, all the time, all year long.Pretty soon all the films I consider worthwhile will be available in only two places: New York and Netflix.
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if it were to crush you, that might affect you adversely for FOX.It isn't the sort of laugh-out-loud thing that could pull you out of a funk.Personally, I wasn't depressed by WTWTA. I was invigorated.Your question is one of the more perplexing I've had to consider. I'd say see them on different days if at all possible.
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Just flip him the middle finger. That's one of the perks of having digits on your hooves.
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of all the great, funny videos you've shared from EIT.com, "The True Meaning of Christmas" might be the first truly transcendent one. A work of brilliance, I thought. Laser-aimed gonzo satire. Good find!
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There's a lot there than meets the eye. It's not some vapid THX demo disc but also a thought provoking film about what certain people do for resources and that we shouldn't fuck up the earth. It's like happy feet but with blue peeps.I have no excuses for holmes being released during awards season.lemme ask ya this subs--which films should we have our attention on for Oscar during these last few months?cause they all seem a bust to me this year. Lest I remind you hurt locker was released in the summer
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BASTERDS better than PULP FICTION...?
ROFLMAO.
Okay...I get it. When you say "audacious", you REALLY mean, "time-wasting load of shit screenplay hiding behind first rate international acting and technical talent". Or more succinctly put, just "Gimmicky horseshit".
Gotcha. -
Oh, wow, little buddy...are you EVER at the wrong site with that sentiment.
Absolutely adorable, though. -
when we get stuck next to a brand-new INCEPTION thread? There's a condescending prick leak, and we get puddles.
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Well, just some examples: In better times, "The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans," "Crazy Heart," "A Single Man," "Precious," and "The Road" - any or all of them - might have made it onto one of the 38 screens within ten minutes of my home if junk hadn't been on 34 of those screens at the same time.
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Dec 28, 2009 10:36:51 PM CST
First rate international acting and technical goodness
by six demon bag
Equals gimmicks now??!?wrong I call them essential ingredients to a quality film
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Dec 28, 2009 10:44:21 PM CST
Or, maybe one of Ebert's Top Ten Documentaries of The Year
by subtitles_off
None of these played on any screen near me all year:"Anvil! The Story of Anvil," "Beaches of Agnes," "Collapse",
"Food, Inc.","Must Read After My Death","Of Time and the City","The September Issue",
"Tyson",
"We Live in Public",
"What's the Matter With Kansas?"
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"A Christmas Carol,"
"Coraline",
"The Fantastic Mr. Fox","Sita Sings the Blues",
"9",
"Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs", "Ponyo", "The Princess and the Frog",
"Up",
"Waltz with Bashir" -
Of course, none of these did either:
"Broken Embraces,"
"The Class",
"Coco Before Chanel,"
"Gomorrah,"
"Lorna's Silence,"
"Munyurangabo,"
"O'Horton,"
"Paris",
"Police",
"Revanche,"
"Seraphine,"
"Sin Nombre",
"Still Walking,"
"Summer Hours,"
"Tokyo Sonata,"
"Tulpan" -
That's the film's title - not, "Police."
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Precious didn't get play? That film was hyped to all hell here and films like the others are lucky to reach one screen I agree. But I feel like it's been like that all along. Only a few select films chosen by the media and critics will be deemed worthy for mass consumption. Look at there will be blood, no country for old men, milk, slumdog millionaire, and the countless other noms that are 'recognized'.
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of the 20 films Ebert denoted as Best of The Year, only four - 4 - were shown on screens near me. (Five of 21, if you count his "Special Jury Prize," which, of course, I don't. If it were good enough to make the list, it shouldn't need an asterisk.)
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All four of them were distributed widely enough that they played on screens in my neighborhood.The closest "Precious" has gotten is 45 miles away.
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Dec 28, 2009 11:07:42 PM CST
Avatar keeps calling my eyeballs late at night...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
wanting to know when I'm coming back over...Avatar is soooo naughty like that...
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I had to wait six months for THE HURT LOCKER to be released on a dollar screen. BTW, last census rated Indianapolis the 14th largest city in the country.Fucking pathetic.Because crap has to be on 2700 screens at once for that all-important market saturation.
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Get my point, yet?Now that Cheeses is here, I'll leave you two alone to make out with your current girlfriend-movie.Psst, Cheeses is a certain basketball-player-flavored-body-part shows up, try not to engage it.Night, men.
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Dallas, just for example, has many job opportunities and every movie on Earth comes thru here...plus, your Oklahoma kin would be closer...
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I've been doing that all day!
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my childhood best friend works in the administration of The Cowboys and has said he could set me up, and I have declined.That's how much I wish to avoid Texas.No offense.
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That's pretty good, hunh?
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G'night, Smooches.
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That's my point that this is the nature of the film beast since the 90s. It was worse in the 80s. Only one theater would show the art house flicks my nana would take me to. Now you can at least for me see them at the AMC. It just takes a few months
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You gotta scroll up for 'Lop's first bracket in his superhero UFC thingy.I'm 4 for 4.
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not the nature of the film beast. The nature of commerce and the self-fulfilling principle.I'm literally falling into my pillow, friends. Type at you tomorrow.
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2-D to Imax 3-d...Just to see the differences...
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You are right. If you notice, everyone in Bracket 1 is much more of a street hero (Daredevil/Batman/gangster/detective characters) while Bracket 2 is much more of the international characters (soldiers/spies/mercenaries/terrorist characters). Because of that Bracket 2 has some enhanced heroes and villains.
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It really felt like you were there. It's not like any 3d I've seen before. Where they make it noticible just for 3ds sake. the scene where Jake jumps the waterfall felt all encompassing like I was in the water with him and the bioluminescense was sublime. but as I've been trying to tell subs--for all the visuals the story still holds up. Cameron has never been
one to let effects just run rampant for effects sake they are a means to tell the story, which doesn't stop to a standstill to show off its prettyness. -
The story held me all the way. I didn't even get up to take a piss the whole movie...which is EXTREMEMLY rare for me.As I said....has the story been told before? Yes, of course. Is it done well? Yes, it's Cameron!!! Was I thoroughly entertained?Fuck Yeah!!!!
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True quesos. I was held captivated throughout too. Watch this and then TF2 and behold the diff in styles of filmmaking and understand why cams is king
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THE MATCH-UP: Fights aren’t always cut and dry. Usually it depends on the match-ups. With Bane, it is the fact he doesn’t match up with Cap as well as he does with other opponents.
Yes, Bane did beat the Bat once, but all his advantages in that fight are not going to be as great against Cap. Bane has strength and size, even bigger and stronger than Captain America, and he is fast, but he isn’t way stronger or bigger than Cap like he is with Batman. Cap is 30lbs heavier than Bats, and has %2 body fat (according to an old Cap comic), so he has something like 35-40lbs at least more muscle than Batman. That difference is huge when facing someone like Bane who is so dependent on his strength and size advantage. Plus Cap is actually quicker and faster than Batman, so Bane might be quick and agile he isn’t nearly quick and agile as Cap.
And one area that both Batman and Cap have an advantage over Bane is skill level. Sure Bane is a master of a martial art of his own design, but how good is that martial art? It might just be one step above street fighting and prison combat. Bane has not tried or tested his styles and techniques nearly as much and as often as such established martial arts as boxing, wrestling, judo, jujitsu - all ones Cap knows. Cap also has years of experience boxing and grappling at the highest level of competion (against other heroes and villains); Bane fought a bunch of thugs and guards in a latin American prison - tough guys no doubt but hardly the best of the best (hell, Cap was a sparring partner to a heavyweight champ and knocked him out with one punch), Because of his experience he’s going to have no problem duking it out with Bane; he’s also not going to be afraid to go to the ground and wrestle with someone bigger and stronger than him because he knows he has a lot more experience applying submission holds and taking on more powerful foes (Sub-Mariner, Mr. Hyde, The Wrecker, Power Man I, etc.).
PREDICTION: I think Bane will try to slug it out with Cap at first but quickly realize that Cap’s speed and boxing skills will be to much for him; Bane will then try to grapple Cap and while he might have some success taking Cap down to the ground, Cap’s Judo/Jujitsu/Catch Wrestling experience will come into play and he’ll catch in in an armbar or heel hook. I imagine it will look something like this:
http://tinyurl.com/kuynwf
The big difference here however is that Bane doesn’t have nearly the experience as a wrestler Brock Lesnar does (former Two Time All-American) and Captain America has way more strength, speed, endurance, boxing skill, striking skill and wrestling skill than Frank Mir can ever dream off.
WINNER: Cap via submission hold.
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THE MATCH-UP: These guys have many similarities. Both of these guys have similar costumes designed by someone named George Perez; they also are masters of many weapons and are armed to the teeth. The difference is in the source of their powers. Deathstroke is basically The Punisher if he took the Super-soldier formula and than went on to become a mercenary; Taskmaster has the strange power of Photographic reflexes which means he can imitate any stunt or move he has ever seen before (within human levels).
Where Taskmaster excels over Deathstroke is that he has a lot more skills. Deathstroke has been trained in hand-to-hand combat by the army and by himself, knowing a bunch of martial arts. But like Punisher, Deathstroke also focuses on weapons, and not just his hand held weapons. He spends a lot of time practicing with firearms and explosives. What makes him more dangerous than Punisher is that his abilities have all been heightened and his brain operates at 90% level, meaning he is a great multi-tasker.
Taskmaster, however, has learned dozens of skills with little effort. All he has to do is watch someone do something and he can duplicate that feat. That gives a wide library of skills to pull out and use. Much more than Deathstroke can. Taskmaster also can predict the moves of anyone he has studied (but since he has never seen Deathstroke fight before, this ability is negated).
But despite these advantages, Taskmaster has a lot of weaknesses, some of which are never mentioned in comic books. For one thing, no one ever brings up how much training, conditioning Taskmaster does. I expect he does at least enough so he can imitate some of the maneuvers (such as the flips and 720 degree slam dunks). But the thing is a lot of the training and practicing to do a certain stunt or move is also what helps you get in shape. Hitting the speed bag and heavy bag help your punching ability AND your conditioning; same with jump robe which helps your foot speed, agility and endurance. Taskmaster can learn any of these moves by just watching them once - what incentive does he have to sweat and kill himself just to get his condition to his max? Same with his strength. Taskmaster suffers from the problem of learning a skill without any effort, robbing him of his work ethic and any motivation to push himself.
Taskmaster also suffers another drawback, which no one ever mentions: if Taskmaster learns a move from watching someone and imitating that person exactly, then when ever he pulls out that move he must be doing an exact duplication that person did and can only do it in the same scenario. Sure he can hit like George Foreman in his prime, but his punches only work on opponents who are the exact same size as Ali, Foreman and Norton; and maybe Taskmaster can hurl his shield as good as Cap can, but only in the exact same way as when he studies him (which could mean he can bounce it off three walls but only if the first wall is 35’ away, the second is 20’ away at a right angle, and the third is 15 feet away made of brick).
This leads to a problem of being predictable, It is the same problem a lot of Asian Martial Arts have with Katats, it makes you to dependent on muscle memory, That is great that your muscles know what to do, but katas make it very robotic and mechanical (unlike boxing or Muay Thai which trains you to never throw the same punch twice even when shadow boxing so you don’t become too predictable).
Taskmaster is a tape recorder, not an artist capable of improvising.
PREDICTION: Taskmaster will start out like a house of fire, hitting Deathstroke with a bunch of moves he has never seen before. Only Deathstroke’s amazing reactions will save him from an early defeat. But after a Deathstroke is going to see him repeat himself once or twice, and will begin setting up Taskmaster. If he saw Taskmaster do a specific move (like say after Deathstroke thrusted with his sword), he’ll try the same thing again as a trap for Taskmaster to repeat himself and leave himself open. Once that happens, Slade Wilson will take that opportunity to dispatch him quickly and ruthlessly.
WINNER: Deathstroke dispatches Taskmaster with his sword. -
I'm getting tired writing all these fights out, so for this one I asked two actors to do a mock fight for me.
The Asian guy in black is Shang-Chi; the Caucasian with the chest hair in white is Richard Dragon:
http://tinyurl.com/ygywcok
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THE MATCH-UP: Batroc doesn’t get a lot of respect, but he is a tough foe who is probably skilled enough in savate to be a K-1 champ. He has spent hours mastering Savate, boxe Francaise and Savate de Rue, and has used it in a number of fights.
Killer Croc, however, is basically a glorified street thug. Sure he used to wrestle gators, but what kind of martial art is that? It isn’t like the moves he learned there carry over to fighting people. Croc resorts mostly with just brute force, strength and savagery.
The problem is that street fighters don’t always fare well against trained pros. Just look at Kimbo Slice - a bare knuckle and backyard boxing legend who has made very little impact in MMA. Kimbo might look tough, but against well trained foes he has proven himself to be lacking. Same problem with Croc who is a tough guy and natural wrestler, but has little actually training or technique to bring in.
(The only reason the old, none-powered Croc fared so well against Batman in my opinion is because everyone is familiar with Batman and has an idea what he can do; Batman had no clue what Croc was capable of or how he fought. After that first fight, however, Batman owned Croc)
PREDICTION: Batroc will basically follow a similar strategy that Batman would use against Croc - keep his distance and use his long range leg attacks and jab to weaken and keep Croc at bay. Anytime Croc tries to shoot for Batroc’s legs, the Frenchmen will most likely sprawl, and then jap again to make some distance. After awhile, a tired Croc will drop his guard leaving an easy target for Batroc to use a round house kick to the head.
WINNER: Batroc with the win by KO
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(hopefully)
Batman vs. Bullseye
Kingpin vs. Wildcat
Captain America vs. Deathstroke the Terminator
Batroc vs, Shang-Chi -
Thanks for emphasizing every fucking thing I hate not only about mainstream comics, but fanboys in general...fleshing out a misplaced libido extraneously through clumsily constructed, frequently inconsistent characters who dress like Broadway faggots.
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Glad I could help.
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I'm 5 for 8.This thing is suddenly weighted in Captain America's favor, as he has a cakewalk in Round 2.
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is you look like an idiot using them without knowing what they mean. The word you were searching for was "vicariously," not "extraneously." A dictionary might help.Don't worry, though. You'll begin to master vocabulary when you start third grade.
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He was a heavy metal drummer.
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Are you fucking kidding me? Ponyo, Ice Age 3, 9??? Over Battle for Terra, Max and Mary and Cloudy With a Chance. Really? fuck that. Though Princess and The Frog is the best animated movie of the year by a long shot. If you don't know yet, its got Kieth David Singing. Puts it in running for movie of the century.
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God fuck Cinematical, worst fucking movie site on the internets. And fuck that movie. Whats SO fucking great about that piece of shit Doc?
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Start making a bunch of $100,000 ish costing movies? I think it was one of you that came up with that idea and posted it on Entertainment Weekly.
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Sure, maybe together we can make "feel nothing" the new thumbs down.
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This list isn't final. There are always movies from any year that I won't see until the next, so I'm usually adding to my list until June. Similarly, there are always films on my list that are dated from the previous year. I tend to go by U.S. availability, when in doubt.A couple more notes: I've avoided the B-word because I haven't seen every movie made this year. Therefore, "best" would be a guess. I am hopeful there was at least one unseen film "greater" than any of my choices ranked 5th or lower. "Favorite," is more exactly what I mean. There are currently 14 films on the list because I don't limit myself to quantity. These are all the movies I saw released during the year that earned 4 to 5 stars according to my personal rating system. There weren't any 3 (or fewer) star movies that I felt worthy of reconsidering. I tried my best to list these in order, but that's a silly science and kind of pointless until you get to the top of my list. #3 is exponentially favored over #4, just as #2 is over #3, and #1 blows 'em all out of the water. In fact, for me, you have to go back to 2007 to find a film I like as much as my #1 favorite film in 2009.14. THIRST13. I LOVE YOU, MAN12. THE CLASS11. FOOD, INC.10. THE INFORMANT!09. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS08. WALTZ WITH BASHIR07. GOODBYE SOLO06. THE COVE05. SITA SINGS THE BLUES04. THE HURT LOCKER03. MUNYURANGABO02. GOMORRAH01. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
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MARY AND MAX (or is it the other way 'round?) is a movie that Ebert will be kicking himself for not including on his animated list. His only excuse might be he hasn't seen it yet. He also probably should've put AVATAR on that list, since he adores it so. I don't care what you call it, that's animation.
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God I'm soo stupid I've had it for over a month and have only watched like 20 minutes of it. I used to live in that part of Italy.
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I would love to see that Up and AVATAR going head to head for best animated movie! Even though in that respect I think Battle For Terra blows Avatar out of the water, just on score alone.
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And I posted here and to EW.com. Seems somebody was paying attention. Next time I'm not giving my ideas away for free.
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Not even a documentary. A recreation with inserted file footage. I wasn't all that impressed with it, either. I think it's a good movie, not a great one, and I think it earns bonus points from New Yorkers and people who judge everything in their lives on a scale of 1 to 9/11.The wire walk was an amazing accomplishment. I'm not fronting on that. One of those things I can admire greatly but briefly and then go about my day because it has nothing to do with me and no significance to my life.
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Captain Caveman movie.
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Dig your list save for I LOVE YOU, MAN. While I'm not in love with Wild Things Are, I respect it. Had I not seen I Love You Man a second time on DVD maybe I wouldn't care. But man did that movie not hold up at all. The whole thing felt SO forced and fake and akward. And the zero chemistry between Quincy Jones daughter and Paul Rudd, ugh. Maybe if the movie ended with Segal stealing Rudd away at the end it could have been classic but instead is was just very blah. And the problems I had with it in theater fucking grated me on VHS. That whole slapping the bass and Styx 40 minutes should have been cut from the film it was so bad. Also the one actress trying to be Kristen Wiig? Why would you aim THAT LOW. At least try to copy Molly Shannon or Cheri Oterri.
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even $100 thou seems like over spending.
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Had a good holiday did ya?
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if you can find it. Thanks. I'm emailing those Motherfuckers.
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AAAAAAAhahahahahahah "on a scale of 1 to 9/11" nice. Your absouletly right about that it. Sumed up what was in my headspace. Glad to see you loved The Cove I did as well. I'll shill my review just because you guys know I'm not some asshole who just drops in and says one thing and post a link to their site never to be seen again. But the thing that I love about the Cove is that it could've been just some sort of spy film. The whole thing could've been made up and I wouldn't care it was so good. http://tinyurl.com/yd2ps8t
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If it was Styx, dammit, it's off the list!See, that's why I use the word "favorite" instead of "best" or "great." While I'd argue 12 - 13 of my choices are "great" films by any informed measure, there's always room for a guilty pleasure. I LOVE YOU, MAN was a comedy that made me laugh harder than any of the more highly-regarded comedies of the last several years, most of which I consider to be average-at-best.
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It would be on my home computer. I'm at work right now.
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My holiday's going good. Saw my brother on Christmas eve who I haven't seen in over 5 years. A David Lynch's Straight Story kind of scenario I'd rather not go into. But it's all good. I'm off all week so I plan on catching some movies. Saw D9 finally and watched Ron Howard's god awful Angels and Demons. Eagles are headed to the Playoffs. Gonna kick Dallas' asses next week (Sorry Cheeses) How's your holiday going?
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I get them confused.
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Have you watched I love you man again at home yet?
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Visited family in Oklahoma which was crippled by six inches of snow. Six!? Granted, there was all the sleet and ice, too, but six inches of snow is comparable to three inches of penis: Not that much to get so excited about.Due to the weather, we canceled some plans to travel together to Vegas. So, I'm home before I planned to be, but that's alright, too. Less stress.
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Here's how you can tell Rush from Styx. Rush is the band with the woman singer. And Styx just sucks.
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It really has to be an outstanding film to entertain me once I know all the punchlines.
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Why didn't you stop by? I was stuck in my house all weekend. Showed the wife the greatness that is Die Hard 1-4.
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Well then that works. I really did like I Love You Man when I saw it in theaters.
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Would have made it gayer. Rush is the current geek D&D 80s band of choice.
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But it would've blown the "cool"-factor for that character. Why would any dude go all-bromance on another dude when he saw he had Styx in his music collection?Rush works for an unconcerned-individualist, as would Yes or Phish. "You think my music sucks? Well, we'll talk about it after the seventeen minute drum solo."
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I tried to watch it once in high school. Feel asleep.
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lockesbrokenleg? We were both busting his balls in the Harry DVD TB before Christmas.
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Neal Peart, best drummer, EVER!
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had Segal and Rudd just run away with each other (sort of a The Graduate riff) would that not have made for a better movie?
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"Why are you such an angry young man, when your pants are so tight for me?" song by Styx? If theyd've slappa-de-bassed while singing that to each other, I'd've pissed myself.
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More of a line I can actually hear coming out of Dennis De Young's mouth.
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it came out in the theaters. All I know is that I went to see it specifically because it was a low-budget indie film playing in the theaters, which was rare at the time. And I was impressed and looking forward to what Nolan would do next, which would be Memento of course. Following is a good indie neo-noir. Man going along while unsuspectingly being set up all along.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:10:49 AM CST
That "Office/Parks & Rec" chick is Quincy Jones' daughter?
by subtitles_off
THE Quincy Jones? The one responsible for Michael Jackson's success?
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you've seen CACHE, yes?
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Is still not confirmed as far as I know. But you know how those guys are, going on and on how they aren't that other guy.
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It's a film I'd imagine Nolan might have aimed at if he'd aged differently.
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Yep thats her.
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I've seen the original Funny Games?
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Is that any good? TIME OF THE WOLF is supposed to be decent as well.
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Is the only Haneke I've seen. It was pretty stupid. An interesting idea but ultimately he seemed to impressed with his idea (so much so he redid it). But I mean I don't really need to see a 20 minute scene where nothing happens except a women crying over what just happened.
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In fact, I'll probably skip TIME OF THE WOLF, too.My Netflix queue has nearly reached critical mass, anyway. The number of films in my "saved" queue is rapidly approaching the number of films in my "currently available" queue and each is longer than the length of my life will probably allow.THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY is streaming until the first. I'll have to watch that today.
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Net Flicks max is 500. I know because I've reached it.
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Let's see your top 10 films of the year. It's probably got some movies that I thought were shit, but I'm not going to rub your face in it.
Boy, are you at the wrong TB. We mostly play nice around here.
Adorable, though. -
3 times now and it gets better every time I watch it. I would declare it my #1 for the year but I still haven't seen Hurt Locker, WTWTA, and some others.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:52:14 AM CST
Since QT intended Inglourious Basterds to be a direct to video
by series7
Movie, I will treat it as such. And since its on VERY LONG WAIT on net flicks, it'll be a while before I see it.
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He's The "Norm" of The Pedalback.
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BASTERDS was the hardest to place. I think I ranked it too low, but i only gave it 4 stars when I saw it in theaters. Still, the opening scene, the cafe scene and the climax in the theater are as fantastic as anything else I saw this year.I guess I just counted the infuriating Tarantinoisms too strongly against it.
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An extended middle finger and a swift kick to the nuts.That's two things.Feeling generous Mr. Silent?Mr. Silent says nothing.His work, for now, is finished here.
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But allmusic.com just posted their favorites for 2009, so that might keep me distracted. ROLLING STONE did such a wretched, lazy job, and I've been hankering to do some downloading.
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I recommend some cerveza and a good cigar. Enjoy! I'm off to see Sherlock Holmes. It better be good, 'Lop!
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and there was Mr. Silent...belting out a rock'n rendition of "Silent Night".
I guess since "Silent" is in the title he figures its ok. -
the graphics and character titles, the casting of Eli Roth, some of the "look at me - I'm clever!" dialogue - the usual, little things. Nothing that ruined the movie for me.
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unfortunately I have not seen a lot of those so I couldn't say how much I agree or disagree.
You must have cooler movie theaters in your area though. -
Distric 9 then probably Worlds Greatest Dad.
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You didn't notice because of the mask.Mr. Silent likes to tease.
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the tarantinoisms get less annoying the more you watch it. That was the case with me anyway.
Its already starting to feel like a classic movie to me. -
And one of those was at a dollar cinema. As I was discussing with New Sixies last night, the theaters in Indianapolis are inexcusably of the suck kind.
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I wouldn't have thought his voice very developed for spending so much time not speaking.
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It's bold, surprising, funny and scary and heart-wrenching. It's in a league of its own.I still like RESERVOIR DOGS and JACKIE BROWN a tiny, little, iota more.
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His voice.That's why he's silent.It's not like silence is his personal bat or anything.You thought it was a super-power?
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Because he can't submit.And even Batroc can't be such a prick that he'd continue to beat up on a totally silent, fey little man.
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at Captain America, in a protest of silent contempt, and The Tool of The Man would turn tail and walk out of The Octagon®.
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Dec 29, 2009 11:16:14 AM CST
So like batman-ster/lander he took his only weakness/fear
by water_shit_anderson
and used it as his superhero name?
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...batmanster ain't afraid of no bats.
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I don't know why.
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by owning, because the tamed fear can't hurt you unless you let it, and, think about it, why would you let it?® That's Mr. Silent's motto.Like Lantern's "brightest night" thing.That's another reason Mr. Silent is quiet. When he speaks, he tends to babble.
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Dec 29, 2009 11:20:04 AM CST
Yeah, if Batster used his greatest weakness in his name,
by subtitles_off
he'd be known as Condomster or Unplannedpregnanster.
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Batster...aka Doc Sprinklebarmanster.
Not quite as fear inducing. -
Dec 29, 2009 11:26:05 AM CST
Planning any trips to the theater this week, diarrhea?
by subtitles_off
It seems to be the thing all the cool Pedalbackers are doing.
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http://vimeo.com/8379076You gotta watch this, diarrhea.Mark Twain-level sarcasm.
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I want to see "The Lovely Bones"...even though I hear its not so good, but I'm a Peter Jackson fan.
I don't think the theater around here has it though so I might go see "Up In The Air".
How about you? -
We'll chat about it if/after you see it.I don't think LOVELY BONES is anywhere until January.I might take a 45 minute trip to see THE ROAD, although I might just leave that and keep my own mental imagery from reading the novel.
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That was gross, but funny.
I felt ashamed to be able to recognize parts of the Star Wars Christmas Special. -
DON'T SEE UP IN THE AIR!!! JUST DON'T FUCKING DO IT! Rent World's Greatest Dad instead. Trust me on this, I'm a professional.
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UP IN THE AIR than I did, diarrhea, but I'm totally on their side with the criticism.
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with the old wookie fantasizing about Diahann Carroll.
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even odds on it taking all The Oscars this year that don't go to PRECIOUS.
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Skip it, its a rental. Though I didn't read the book so I didn't love it. Everyone that read and loved the book and can seperate the two loved it.
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She is sexy, dammit! You go, wookies!
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or Thank you for smoking....so I'm not expecting to like it...but I figure I should give it a chance.
I was told Worlds Greatest Dad featured a completely naked Robin Williams....what are you trying to do to me series? -
That's more along the lines of what you'd imagine for a wookie fantasy.
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I think I am done with ever watching the Oscars again. There is NOTHING good in that movie. Unless the Oscars are meant for solid C students and not the top of the class.
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some friends of mine and I started a holiday where we watch the star wars christmas special. It was a holiday that was too painful to continue.
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Her body double has a fine ass, too.
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aren't you?
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http://tinyurl.com/yz9428x
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TRUST me the sight of Robin's balls is still 100 times better then anything you'd see in Up In the Air. And that movie even has Vera ass.
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without watching the whole thing.
It could replace waterboarding as a torture method to use on terrorists. -
http://tinyurl.com/qsg6lb
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Yeah I know, but I can't for the life of me find any reason of why Up In the Air could ever win any award. Not even in a compeition between Reitman siblings. All the other crap thats one I've found some small something to grasp as to why that movie one. I still say that they need to have a five year rule. That five years after the award for Best film is given they revisit it and have another vote. If it wins it stays for life, it something else wins it is striped of its best oscar win and the other movie has it for life.
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I dont know series....i don't know...
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WTWTA is too polarizing for Oscar. It will have to settle for being the best film recognized after the fact - a.k.a. THE RAGING BULL Award.That leaves HURT LOCKER, PRECIOUS, UP IN THE AIR and token musical NINE.NINE isn't any good. Most journalists agree. That opens up a spot at the top.HURT LOCKER is about a soldier who isn't a stereotype for Family, God and Country. The Conservatives will mount a smear campaign that'll scare the Gibson-Hanks half of the Academy away from it.PRECIOUS is secretly loathed by the Academy's bigot wing.UP IN THE AIR has Clooney in it, and he's Hollywood's current darling.We'll see how it plays out.Oh, yeah, AVATAR or DISTRICT 9? Not a chance.
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and it really sucks how political it all is.
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When asked, "Who does not ever want to see Robin William's balls?"That makes two of us, at least.
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Nice talking to you pedalbackster blokes.
Later Subs, Series, and Moose! -
Here's how it is. Vera's ass is nothing special. And it happens in like the first 10 minutes of the movie, then you have to fucking sit there for the next hour and half wanting to rip your eyeballs out over the crap you've just seen. Robin's balls are like the last shot of Worlds Greatest Dad. So you are SO imeressed and enjoying what you are seeing that you don't fucking care. So rent WGD, then google search butts after the movie is over if you feel unsecure in your manhood.
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That rhymes!
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I think if it really takes in the box office $$$$ it could take it. THOUGH I also could see the academy giving some fucking technical award to Up In the Air. Like Cinematography. I couldn't believe how many critics were talking about the GREAT cinematography of the middle states in the movie. All it fucking is, was Reitman sitcking his camera out of the window on a plane??? HOW FUCKING HARD IS THAT? Especially for a movie about a guy living in planes?
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Cause the academy likes to pat themselves on the back for tackling certain subjects like racism and homosexuality why not the economy?
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would've been better if it were darker and more cynical.I never saw it, but the idea of a satire of the American instinct to anoint the dead as saints strikes me as something I could get behind.
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real-live, standing there human beings is going to celebrate technology that relegates most of them to uselessness. I don't care how much money AVATAR makes. It's not the future of cinema. Not unless the robots really do take over the future.
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You decided your movie schedule for the day, yet?
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The new haenke film? I seriously thought it was a joke. I saw it before a serious man so I thought the coen bros were trying to make the most pretensious trailer they could. Kinda bummed when I found out it was a real film. .
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Even that name sounds pretensious. Isn't there some MOVIE within a MOVIE named that? And its some crappy art film?
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that trailer sure doesn't do that movie any promotional favors.
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Or something like that.
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House chores today
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They put in a new shower surround in my bathroom. Dude made a FACKING mess.
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Where'd everybody go?
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Thank Jebus.
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I thought that show was bringing in gang busters in the ratings? Did Comedy Central offer him 50 million dollars and his head explode as well?
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and sank like a whale turd.
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Is a perennial fave of mine
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Eat more. I like to set goals I can achieve. I didn't achieve mine from last year, see 300 movies. Gonna end up about 50 shy. But I'm giving it the good push these last couple days. Saw 3 last night.
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I got heavy into it when I was in college. Working out for like 2 horus a day. Got up to benching 280. Then switched colleges and gave up. The first college I went to had a work out room like a prison, thats how I like'em. Now that I'm out of college all I can do is shit at home or pay for a gym and they are all too nice.
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Can you set up a prison-style gym in a garage or spare room? I know some guys you can hire to stand around and stare menacingly at you while you work out...
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Sweet, you get the guys then we'll see.
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I'd just like to start running again. Not jogging, running (No difference except semantics). I really like running, and I'm quite good at it, despite being a smoker for a decade now. I got new shoes and everything!
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Cohorced me into getting a tread mill. I was like, ITS FOR YOU. I'll use it but don't bug me about it. But I can bug you about it. I fucking hate treadmills. I use it time to time, but man getting off of work at 5 I just don't want to fucking do it. Its this god damn central time, I don't feel like I got enough time between after work and primetime, fucks me up.
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Or did I miss that chat already?
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Man, I'd kill for a treadmill. It's too damn cold to go running right now.
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I have four: 1) start doing what I came out to LA to do; 2) join BJJ or CSW (giving myself until April for that one); 3) Workout at least 5 days a weak; and 4) stop messing around with damaged/needy girls -fuck that shit.
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I walk away from this site for a few hrs and lookie here what's happening! How goes it, gents?
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Couldn't resist.
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But is working out going to cut into your TB time? Incidentally, I just learned the origins of your handle. Which is sad because I work in a fucking bookstore, and I'm big on mysteries too.
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Go buy the book "Solitary Fitness", by Charles Bronson (not the actor but the British con that the movie BRONSON is about). Shows all these exercises you can do in a small area.
Now you can be like me and workout while fantasizing you are in prison plotting reveng against Batman for putting you there... -
Less Drinking, More Running. And More Writing.
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Blow Job Jons? Cunt Sweat Wilma's?
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Pedalbacker roll call: Continentalop reporting for duty.
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I like finding the simplest ways to accomplish my goals.
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What are the origins of Conti's handle?
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Those days of six pack abs are past for me fellows. But, I do need to exercise. Like Series, I hate treadmills, and stair-steppers and stationary bikes. But, what are you gonna do?My resolutions are do-able:Eat better. Procrastinate less. Invent a tin-foil helmet that blocks out unwanted pop culture radio waves.
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About 20,000 posts or so.
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I believe those are acronyms for talent agencies in La-La Land. Or you may be right, what DEFUCK do I know?
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'Lop moved out to L.A. to change Jennifer Aniston's game.
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It's from Dashiel Hammett stories, he's a classic mystery writer.
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DEFUCK® Also, Jebus® andmerfer®
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Dec 29, 2009 3:15:59 PM CST
Teddy, I believe in helping my pals with their resoes, but
by subtitles_off
I will not encourage less drinking.I just can't.
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Last couple of months I haven't been posting as much as usual before I got to the gym twice a day. I've only been really able to post more the last two weeks because of Christmas vacation (and the fact I was basically snowed in).
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Maybe 'Lop moved to L.A. to join The Lakers or something.
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But c'mon, there's a Wikipedia entry on the guy and everything.
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Is to STOP posting on these things as much and actually try to write something. I got a couple ideas for comics. TOo bad I don't have shit for friends that can draw worth a damn. Also to get a new job.
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Stand for Brazilian jiu-jitsu and Combat Submission Wrestling. I'm gonna take one or the other starting April.
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Ah, I get it now. Dear god, why am I a smoker? I can't believe I'm actually going to go outside right now.
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I'm not only the oldest Pedalbacker but also the fattest and weakest.
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Blow Job Jons sounded like a cool place to be a member of.
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The title track from U2's "No Line On the Horizon" is the first Notshit cut I've heard from that album.
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See i'm one of those fancy lads. I like to think I could handle myself in a fight, but would probably get their ass handed to them. I've always had this idea though. What if in the middle of the fight you just THORW UP all over the guy? Or shit in your hand and rub his face in it? How would you handle that?
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Hit the bitch in his face with a big hammer?
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And also have a gym in my apartment so going 2 a day isn't hard (and I try to keep each workout from 1/2 to an hour max) especially when I count classes and cardio.
I also own a Total Gym. Got it as a gift. Works awesome.
I also have a -
I could get behind that. Far, far behind that.
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From now on I'm just gonna agree with whatever you type...GRIN.
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You know I'm not above typo humor.
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With all that exercise equipment laying around, you should be in Batman-shape by now.
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if he stands a chance against Shang-Chi.
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Your fucking training to become Batman aren't you??? You've given up on getting a movie version you like, your just gonna go out and do it yourself!
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Its ok. I am dubious, but I don't weltch.
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and replaced with adamantium.Conti's handle decided that wasn't ever gonna happen to him again, so he started lifting weights like a merfer®.
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I would say you would be pretty tough Series. The funny thing is I am not working out and doing martial arts because I wanna be some ass kicker; I'm doing it because I'm sick of regrets. I'm sick of not trying or sticking with stuff that I am interested in. I was in BJJ in 2000-2001 but quit after 9-11. If I had stuck with it I might have been a black belt now.
Same with writing. Ted mentioned he has to write more; same goal with me. I figured if I had stuck to writing and made sure I got out a least a page a day, I would have a couple decent scripts by now.
My goal is pretty much make sure I have a very short bucket list when I am 75. -
Shows up, posts one little thing, and disappears again. I know I never got my official Professional Card, but isn't that slacking? You guys gonna let him slide like that?
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QUIT ALL THAT. And me and you create for real, Blow Job Jon's Blowjob Emporium. We'd be SO rich.
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A lot of small-business entrepreneurs end up doing a lot of the grunt work themselves.
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Hey I'll take a shot in the mouth if it gets me one step closer to that million.
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I own the book Becoming Batman and use it as inspiration.
Slightly more inspiring than Becoming the Blue Beetle, right Ted? -
That sounds cool. Is it new or old?
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http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Batman-Dr-Paul-Zehr/dp/0801890632/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262124023&sr=8-1
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I haven't gotten to reading it yet but I'm pretty excited about it.
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Dec 29, 2009 4:07:03 PM CST
Ted I've only been really killing myself the last 2-3 months
by continentalop
I think it takes more than that to get a superhero physique. I have lost about 20lbs of fat (well, before X-Mas).
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I could write that book in a fucking day.
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Living the dream, pal, living the dream.
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The secret is never sticking around one time period long enough for your enemies to finds you.
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Thought I ought to correct myself before Series takes his righteous revenge on my typoing ass.
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...Just how badly did Kingpin maul Nightwing? I gotta know!
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That's the one.
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The second half originally got cut off.
Kingpin would win by submission hold, body slam or ground n' pound. -
Batman over Bullseye. Bullseye manages to get a hold of the utility belt, but while he's trying to figure out what to do with it, Batman wedgies him into submission.Kingpin over Wildcat. "Cat can't do much with shattered knuckles.Captain over Deathstroke.Shang-Chi over Batroc. And, he makes 'Roc submit in French so he sounds like a pussy.
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Conquer anti-gravity and use it to chaffeur your buddies around. Read a book on Judo. Take two Karate classes. Master the delicate art of leapfrogging your enemies.
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Come down to Wolverine and Deadpool?
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Throw in some intensive gymnastics training and you're good to go.
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Mr. Silent stands outside the Octagon® with his arms folded across his chest, scowling at the rabid crowd from behind his mask.Somebody in the front row yells at Mr. Silent to get him a beer.Mr. Silent picks up his walking stick and walks from the arena.He despairs.Silently.
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Good one vis-a-vis Batroc throwing up on Shang-Chi. Probably close to what would happen.
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Headpool (Zombie Deadpool's Severed Head) vs. Anybody
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Animal Man? The original Morrison stuff?
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I've heard that it's great tho. And you gotta love those Brian Bolland covers.
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I just read the short series they had. It was ok. Trying to decide if I want to buy Volumes ONE and TWO of the first series. Big sale next week at the comic shop.
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this cracks me up.http://tinyurl.com/akqk8e
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ANIMAL MAN. It was entertaining, but it didn't jazz me up enough to try to track down the rest of it.
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Yeah I've got the first trade too but haven't had time to read it. I'm thinking I may just get All Star Superman. Or more Transmepoletan or Invisibles. But I've heard Animal Trades aren't the easiest things to come by.
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You can't go wrong with All-Star Superman. Morrison got Superman as right as he's gotten Batman wrong. And The Invisibles. That's essential comics right there.
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If he wasn't always that way, he sure as shit is now.
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The Invisibles is a bit heady for me, but I managed to get through the first couple of trades. Interesting, but just too much, man.
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he was speaking in backwards sentences and wearing magenta vinyl trousers.And that was in '97.
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But you can just let a lot of the shit drift up there over your head where the air is thin and still enjoy the rest of it.
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It certainly makes this new Earth-1 (or whatever) bullshit new take on Superman irrelevant before it even begins.
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TRANSMETROPOLITAN. How many trades are there?
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Is Lex Luthor.
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10ish trades?
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But the Earth-1 shit is just DC acknowledging they've fucked things up beyond repair with all the legacy crap of the last few years.
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and happy to report that Continentalop's review was right on the money. I really enjoyed it. RDJ was great and the way they present his deductive reasoning is one of the best parts of the film. It is a very pulpy approach to Homes and for me it worked. Holmes and Watson's characters are not dumbed down in the least and the solving of the mystery is very satisfying. All the clues are there on screen. The best Victorian buddy film ever made. Highly recommend for anyone on the fence about seeing it. 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.
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All-Star Superman giant, slipcased hardcover.That talks.
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Dec 29, 2009 5:02:59 PM CST
Stabby, we thought you got stuck in a ditch or something.
by subtitles_off
So you agree with 'Lop that the computer-generated set-pieces aren't too jarring?
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...what would it say? Besides "I'm awesome", that is.
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lose itself in some ridiculous sort of tangent that made better sense as a germ of an idea, and then it would insult me and make me feel stupid.
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it would talk about Batman with me on my days off, but I'd think it completely misunderstands the mythology of Batman and try to explain things to it. But, we'd end up just getting pissed at each other, and I'd start to ignore it every day when I went into my library. Eventually, it'd mention We-3, and we'd come to some sort of accord.
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My 2 year old nephew came over for a visit, and a lot of dinosaurs needed help going "roar!" I feel like O smoked a pack of Lucky's my throat is so hoarse.
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I could probably do that.Everybody says The Adventures of Spider are excellent.
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Fuck you guys are prolific.
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I just had me some of that in Oklahoma. Making snow angels and throwing snow balls.
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of my shit.
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We can take the top with ten more posts.
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Trailerback drop of its own inertia.
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He could sing us a song the way he likes to do.
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You're not actually working are you?
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That's a new development.
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Lunching. Happily, I can do most of my work while keeping up with my TB duties.
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typing to myself? You guys don't know me at all. When I get a hankering for something, I overkill it to over-death and then kill it again when it tries to resurrect itself all zombie-like.
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Ass_Tastes shows up and calls me a faggot.
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It's about 45 degrees in my 'office'(loading dock). Kinda makes it hard to type.
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New Sixies just has more of an edge.Ultimate Karaoke.
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Like you can't just drop your pants and jump right in. He's been gone so long, he's forgotten how we Pedalbackers do it.
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You could recruit yourself an assistant to blow on your fingers.
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But the commute woulda been killer anyway.
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I don't really have finger-blowing experience or transferable skills. But if the government calls, you'll confirm that I applied, right?
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I'll even tell them that you were too smart and handsome for the job, and that's why you didn't get it.
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Harry blurbed for the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY DVD, "Better when you see it at home." Or, something like that. I'm curious. I still contend that's totally dependent on a communal experience.
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Dec 29, 2009 6:02:46 PM CST
I've had a pretty successful day of downloading some Notshit.
by subtitles_off
I'll share some of it with my Pedalback brothers in the hope of starting a groundswell for the return of rock and roll.
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the Sun Didn't Rise"
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You guys been busy today...
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diarrhea poked his head in, and Yackbacker did a couple of drive-bys.Series hated on UP IN THE AIR, and Stabby saw SHERLOCK HOLMES.'Lop flexxed his muscles.Teddy got a little bit of frostbite.New Sixies has been kind of quiet, though.I think that pretty much gets you current.
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But most contemporary music doesn't do much for me. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are pretty good, tho. Oh, and MGMT has a nice Talking Heads vibe that I dig.
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I just cooked chicken cacciatore and now I need a cigarette.
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Else, the kids look at you funny.
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I have no rhythm and I'm afraid I'll be throwing off your flow, gents. My recent offering to you all is that I'm going to watch THE BLIND SIDE this weekend- in further avoidance of AVATAR 3-D. Is this a wise choice?
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...whether I'm emo or not.
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positive advance buzz. I would've bet against that.
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I think that would be an unwise decision. Granted, I haven't seen the Blind Side, but I think most here would agree with me.
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AVATAR avoidance, but I think you can pick better than THE BLIND SIDE.And, as to "flow," we can't dance, but we look good in tight pants.
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If not, you can't be emo.
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Good cast, solid director (can't remember who, only that he's solid in my book), interesting premise...Could go wrong in so many ways tho.
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Ted- I'm not trying to be counter-AVATAR, it just doesn't excite me for some reason. I'm not on the Clooney tip with Reitman's little tear-jerker, I plan on seeing HOLMES with a buddy of mine tomorrow, so this weekend is girlfriend time and I think BLIND SIDE will hit the mark.
Subs- dude, DAYBREAKERS is going to rake in dough. I have good feelings about it. And as for pants, I ain't wearing any! -
Now I can go back to wishing I was a 'goth'.
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if only for the new technology...You can watch football on Sunday....
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If the girlfriend is involved then you can't really go wrong with Sandra Bullock, right?
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You and your hairy legs. In a totally Red-State, kicking-a-few-back-after-the-game way, bro.
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Eventually. It's certainly not getting run out of the theaters anytime soon, ya know? I'll get there, just not ASAP.
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You know, I really don't mind her myself either. I'll take a Bullock movie over anything by Nancy Myers or starring Sarah Jessica Parker OR anything written by Nora Ephron. Bullock is fucking gold compared to that crop of shit.
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Dude, you're on the money! How you be?
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But I'm not expecting any more than the usual Cameron fare. Except in 3-D that is.
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Except the two times I bought tickets I had to back out due to 1) my girl's grandmother dying and 2) my niece being born. Jim Cameron and I do not mix well in general either, so now I'm like "maybe I'll see it eventually" ya know? You sound like you're in the same boat in terms of enthusiasm (or lack thereof).
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the family all sat down to watch THE FAMILY STONE, which, since I'm certain you don't remember, featured Sarah Jessica Parker getting drunk and romancing Luke Wilson. At one point, about a third of the way through, my nephew called everybody's attention to the horrified scowl on my face. They all had a good laugh. Better than the movie, anyway.
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We're in agreement about Sandra Bullock too. Except I'd argue that she peaked in Demolition Man. But that's just me.
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My girl made me sit through that one on cable. Holy fuck, it was atrocious. The gay deaf son in an interracial relationship was over-the-top. I double-checked the writing credits for Noam Chomsky.
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that my AVATAR-avoiding yacht floats by and honks at. I really didn't mean to upset you, I just didn't see you all the way down there.Cheeses, contrary-wise, is on the AVATAR-pimpin' payroll. As if it needed it.
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And they adopt a crack baby! That movie was so wretched!
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But what I admire about her career is that she's maintained her appeal while others have risen and fallen- people like Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Bullock fucking owns their sorry asses. And now that the field has thinned out, she's left to rake up all the dough. And I imagine she's a pretty decent lady based on her persona. But even if she's a bitch, I don't find her annoying like so many others mentioned. Her heir to the throne is Rachael MacAdams. That chick has a lot of years ahead of her.
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Fucking Diane Keaton is narrative poison in my book. Her characters are all the same, all fucking cunty and worthless. I hate that woman's career.
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Sandra Bullock out-acts Catherine Keener who played the same role (Harper Lee) in CAPOTE.
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Dec 29, 2009 7:13:20 PM CST
Cameron doesn't need to pay me to tell EVERYONE...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
how much I enjoyed this movie...And, contrary to Subs' opinion, this IS the future of filmaking....
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and look serious. Then, she dies off-screen. I don't know where they found the restraint!
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She came into the store I was working at, and I'm sure she was very pleased that I treated her like a normal person. I was just kidding about her peaking, I just like to mention Demolition Man whenever possible. She's actually as hot right now as she's ever been, which is pretty astounding, really.
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Bullock was definitely a better Harper Lee- it was a better movie too than CAPOTE. Toby Jones > Hoffman as Capote. But back to Bullock, she's under the radar in a strange way- which I think she embraces and cultivates. She works out of a position of confidence, not insecurity like so many other a-list actresses.
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cast as a liberal! God, FAMILY STONE might be the most ill-conceived film ever. Sarah jessica parker isn't even in the top ten of the worst things about that movie.
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Because if so, that's what I am- gay for Bullock.
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when the future of film-making time-travels back to kick your ass. I'm gonna tell the future of film-making that you're my mentally-challenged brother-by-another-mother.The future of film-making will back off. it'll still be pissed, but it knows it isn't cool to pick on the otherways-abled.
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That fucking scene with the dish being dropped and making a huge mess in the kitchen... who the fuck acts like that? In the real world, people are fucking pissed when they drop food. There's no "whoop!" or squealing. I't s a lot of "Motherfuckers!" and "FUUUUUCKS!" being traded. My family would draw blood in that instance.
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Sandra's just gotta understand that.
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LOL...the "Broadway faggots" line nailed ya, didn't it?
You're right about "vicariously" vs. "extraneously", though. When some fanboy tool starts blathering away about how "Super Gigantic Man" can beat "Captain Ultra Humongous", I lose it and start indiscriminately pounding out verbiage, sometimes striking bystanders only marginally encompassed within the homonym ballpark. Conspiracy-addicted shitheads often provoke a similar response.
Find any grammatical errors that time, cockbreath? XD -
All of you have seen The Family Stone. That's just odd to me. I mean, what are the odds of that? 1000-1?
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I hated you a minute ago, but you dropped food.""AND"Aw!""Aw!""You got some uncooked egg on your blouse.""Don't worry. You look fabulous!""Aw! Fabulous!""It's too late for eggs anyway.""Yeah, we've all been so busy with our dysfunction, we forgot the time!""Silly us.""Yeah, silly us!""You don't hate me?""Well, not this minute."
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i think you ought to be gay for somebody like Giselle Bundtcake-Brady.
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That's it, I'm gonna add The Family Stone to my netflix queue just so I'll know how you all feel.
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That is so gonna bad-karma-ize my ass, if you do that.
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Dec 29, 2009 7:32:00 PM CST
"Super Gigantic Man" and Captain Ultra Humongous",
by cheeses_of_nazareth
Wasn't that the B-side song to Paul McCartney & Wings' single, Venus and Mars/Rock Show back in in 1975?
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I want to use her like a toilet. Bullock I don't want to penetrate, just have lunch and talk about stuff for a while = gay.
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I guess I'll just never know what it's like to watch The Family Stone. And I really like Luke Wilson, too.
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That's all in honor of your return.
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We are cooking with gas here!
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Don't tell anybody that.What!?!!
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I'm calling it.7:36:26 PMTeddy!
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We're measuring gay in IOTAS now?!?!
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I've always felt that Luke had lots of unused potential. Like, Harrison Ford kinda potential. Sadly, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Too many bad projects, bad choices. Plus he's starting to let himself go lately. Which dampens the gayness somewhat.
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I like it rough.
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microscopic increments. So, it's cool. We can still hang out at ballgames and belch, and our socks don't have to match.
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Naw dude...they're going to be introduced next year, as part of DC's massive, company-wide arc, "ULTIMATE INFINITY OF CRISES IN CRISIS", in which an infinite infinity of crises in every possible superhero configuration (that still doesn't include Spiderman or Jughead) is thrown against every other possible crisis. DC is at this moment hiring top-notch linguists who are working around the clock to coin exciting new terminology just to explain what the fuck is going on from one issue to the next...
I recommend moving into a tent in an alley near your favorite comic book store and putting your house up for mortgage, so you don't miss a second of the action! -
Somebody oughta sell some of that to that Lady Glambertgoogoo kid. His career might last an iota longer than twelve minutes.
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A face too-FACKING® ugly for that Bowflex body. That dude makes me question my iota-gayness the way Megan Fox makes me question my heterosexuality.
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...I'd buy 'Ultimate Infinity of Crises in Crisis' if Ted were in it. But that's why it's an obsession. YOWZA!
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Respect.
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Any trips to Austin in the offing?
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I'm still getting off on using the word 'umbrage'. You're really digging the trademark thing, eh Subby?
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Forget Comics for a minute, dude...they are a dying art form...No, Burny, the future of all entertainment can be found in James Cameron's new 3-d tech....Soon our Clipboard Laptop Links will give us magazines in this format....I can't wait!!!!
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On Earth-2 Blackest Zombie WarWritten by Jeph Loeb.
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Comics are dead, so are magazines and all movies are 3-D. Well, that ruins nearly every facet of my life in one way or another. Fuck me.
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after bonus checks get paid...
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Cheeses has just lost the last iota of his mind. All the hype got to him. The future has a cure for this AVATAR disease. It's called "common sense."
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I gots to go eat, fellas.Later, Teddy and Smooches.
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gold-foil covers on comics. Actually, that motion-text tech that was used on a magazine cover last year (I think it was Esquire, I'm not positive) is an interesting trend, but again all of this is a gimmick. 3-D may become more common, but it all comes down to the quality of content being projected/written. Without good content, what's the tech worth? ZILCH!®
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three walls, or better yet, a 360 degree curved screen projecting this technology for a full surround/immersive experience that changes anywhere YOU choose to look.
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Keep me informed and I swear I won't flake on ya.
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Instead of out in the open air.
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All cats do....blue or otherwise....
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But I will say I think Yack is right when it comes to the evolution of film. New technology is fine unless it comes at the expense of decent writing. The script is where, to me anyway, a film's potential awesomeness comes from. Don't get me wrong, I'll probably ultimately enjoy Avatar, but I feel like I already know every single plot point of the movie, and I haven't even been paying that much attention to it.
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...I said that same thing to Mrs. FlickaPoo the other night...he's on those ads on TV.So she asks me "why's that dear"...and I answer "he just seems like a cool guy...if I was gay I think he'd be my kind of guy...".So she says "what the fuck!!? When I tell you about my lesbian crushes they're all just hot tasty things for one night stands...you tell me your man crush and it's about a meaningful relationship and building a life together??!! THAT'S FUCKED UP!It was funny at the time...
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And I miss the party. That's what I get fir sharing with the wife.oh and I'd see it's complicated before blind side. That's just me.
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It is a Frazetta painting, with Boris assisting, come to life in terms of pure visual spectacle. See it soon....
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I have tentative plans to see it this weekend. And I suppose you're right-I should just appreciate the beauty of the thing, rather than analyzing the thing into the ground.
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Still find it weird that he has a 50 year old plus farmer listening to that. All those bands you listed are whats wrong with music these days. I'd rather listen to Lady Gaga then those pussys.
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Someone with some sense. I mean, I'll use Sandra Bullock as a means to an end (a rear end, that is), but if I have a choice I'd avoid a SB movie like the plague.
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Dec 29, 2009 8:47:27 PM CST
Does everyone in this talkback have a wife?
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
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BLIND SIDE is one of those Disney-fied versions of reality that play to the EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER crowd, not really a chick-flick, but definitely chick-friendly cinema. If we're going to start shooting off preferences within the legit chick-flick genre, my vote goes to anything with Mandy Moore with the mute button on and the freeze frame engaged.
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That ISleptWithKathyBates guy is waiting for gay marriage to become legal still.
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While not significantly gay, that's still two times as gay as we are, so we can make fun of him.
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Mine and other peoples....Thanks for askin' Chubby Fucker...
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I hope your wife gets crabs.Ha!
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That means you passed, your not an idiot. The movie is really all about the ride. The story is fine and just classic story telling done right. A movie shot with a sure hand and someone who's not afraid of their visuals and of a fucking static shot.
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This whole thing with diggler, it's strange- how did it all start?
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OHHHH SHIT!!!! DAMN!!!! NO you did not! Can't get crabs when you got no hair.
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I'm just fucking with the fag. He just storms in with this cocky attitude trying to call people out and not making sense then just backing off with the whole. I'm you know are but what am I defense. Its just lame. Check out the riff between me and my step son JettL in the DVD thread. Thats good stuff.
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Dec 29, 2009 8:54:07 PM CST
Series7 - That's two wrongs in a row
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
And two wrongs don't make a right.I have no wives so I'm outta here.
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It's not that I don't find him amusing on some level, but that he's painted himself into a corner and it's kind of tiring to see it replayed over and over again. But the burger flipping stuff is funny, even though it makes me hunger for Big Macs, you fucking bastard.
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You sold yourself short, dude...Anybody can make up a stupid talkback name...Nobody wants to sleep with Kathy Bates....My ankles hurt just thinking about it....
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The CGI in Holmes is one of the things in Holmes that I didn't like. CGI & Victorian London don't mix.
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Is that Sandra went out and Blindsided Janine Lindemulder and took her kids away. NOW THAT'S FUCKING METHOD ACTING! Anyways I'll skip it and wait for the next fledging actress to make a similar yet shittier movie, I'm thinking Kate Hudson takes over a down and out ultimate frisbee team.
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If someone's mom came across this site? Or some religious nutjob family found out about their devil child posting filth on here? I wonder how many e-mails Harold has received over the years from dumb ass parents.
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You didn't think that it was a pretty beautifully rendered version of Victorian London? Warts and all, I mean.
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And we have strange incest-in-name-only sex.
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You forgot to comment in the fights. Do you think my predictions were accurate? Can't wait to read your opinion.
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WORST OFFENDER BY FAR: http://tinyurl.com/diegoddie
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Why is everyone surprised he had 14 mistresses....The man is used to playing 18 holes at a time...
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Dec 29, 2009 9:13:24 PM CST
Yeah blind side looks like manipulative feel good shite
by six demon bag
And it's complicated has Baldwin and Martin.
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If anyone gets a chance, ask him if he has met Liam Neeson. I want to read his reaction as a test.
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You got some inside info on Liam Neeson? Can you whisper it to us?
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Since we all think we should write more, I think we should form a pact and agree to write a minimum amount per day next year. If anyone who doesn't live up to that agreement, he will be labelled a Broadway faggot and be forced to defend JettL.
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My honor's pretty good, how's yours?
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I need motivation and your proposal is just the medicine.
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I'm out.
GRIN! -
I don't have any inside info on Liam, but this JettL sounds exactly like this guy I met. I want to see he has the same answers (if he does, I'm outing him)
And my honor is good, but we are probably going to have to figure out someway to make sure we are living up to the pact. Maybe G-mail accounts listed under our handles or something like that. -
You saucy bitch!
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In fact, I think it may be just what I need. Gotta go for now, but we'll talk more on this later, k?
BEETLE HO! -
By posting your intellectual property on a public forum?No thanks...Save it for a publisher...
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GRIN!
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The more the merrier, and the louder the chant of "Broadway faggot" becomes.
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Can't be a public forum. Logistics still have to be figured out.
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Didn't you want us to ask jettl about some plays or something like that?
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Watching Ed Norton, Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman trying to rock out to Sting imitating Bruce Springsteen.My eyes! My eyes!
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Dec 29, 2009 10:01:25 PM CST
I'm an iota and a half iota gay for Eddie Vedder, tho.
by subtitles_off
Sose® you know.
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What's the plan of attack.
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Shall we shall?
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than any of the bands I listened to today?I don't quite know how to react to that.
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Your UNFLAGGING® defense of Avatar is commendable. *secret handshake*
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®®®®®®®®®®®
That is all. -
Anybody besides me know what a blue moon is?And, no - it has nothing DEFUCK® to do with Pandora.
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nice.
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But I guess we should come up with one by the 1st.
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For the pact?
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A page a day.....I may be able to keep that up for like....a week? I'll try....can we start though like Jan 4th ish?
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we've never been black-boxed.I'm an iota jealous.iota®
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E-me your stuff, and I'll hand out the Broadway Faggot® demerits.
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the second full moon which occurs in any single month.
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saw me standing alo-o-one. Without a dream in my heart. Without a love of my own.
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JettL
by HEADGEEK Dec 29th, 2009
10:18:15 PM
has never been offered a Black Box - I don't OFFER those to people. It is only for editors, or Famous types that want people to know it is really them... and that has only ever occured a few times, and they approached me about getting it.
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Your woman will have two periods in one month the first time you have sex with her...
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In my excitement about the blue moon I completely spaced that Thursday was the last day of '09.Extra bluish.It's as if Cameron had spent 14 years to re-invent blue.
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Dec 29, 2009 10:53:04 PM CST
Oooooooor you can have a Blue Moon with an orange slice
by spifftacular squirrel girl
Nummies. ;)
Oh, and btw, can't wait for Inception. Folding cities and all. -
but it was only URANUS.
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Nice contribution, Squirrel Girl.
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My favorite black box is... Vivica A. Fox. Meow!® (bows to thunderous applause)
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DEFUCK® you doin' over at another Talkback?
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It's a glorious day indeed! I'll stay here in the posterback for the rest of the night, I promise!
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Wherever you go, you always take the weather with you.
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That guy- that's the guy I wanna be for a day.
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I wanna be Jon Stewart.
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Back in the CaineSaysShitback. Firefly. Ah, good times.
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I'm an iota and half an iota® gay for it!
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It lacks an impo®tant consonant.
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Up above, by your 35,186 post, I pasted Harry's refutal.
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did lockesbrokenleg get ban-hammered a few days ago?
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Maybe 2 months ago, following your illustrious return to the TBs. Welcome home, boychick.
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I love it- YackBacke®
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I think he exemplifies every one in the book. And I base that merely on what I've read of his posts in the past day.
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He isn't funny-- meaning he either intends to be funny and just fails OR he is a fucking twat and is unfunny in spite of what could be a truly awesome collection of personality disorders. I know crazy people and they're 99% interesting. This would explain my dating history up until my girlfriend now, who is sane, lovely and very functional. But it took me a few bad trips on the Crazy Train to appreciate what a normal, well-adjusted girl offers in contrast. So, basically I'm saying that I'm in love with you all, thanks to JettL93's crazy schtick, which no longer makes me (intellectually) horny.
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Sweeeet d®eams of Jennifer Connelly.
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Okay, polite answer, since you've proven yourself a gentleman:
I think the whole issue of "fights" and which fictional persona would dominate is a tiresome byway that's currently in the process of wrecking mainstream comics, and actually threatens its future, if editors and comic execs continue to yield to this tedious fan fetish.
You have to think for a moment: What are the most beloved rivalries in comics, and why have they endured for so long? Lex Luthor and Superman? The Joker and Batman? Even the Green Goblin and Spiderman? It's not physical strength that underlies these relationships. In the case of Luthor, it's brains against brawn, wits against strength. In the other two, it's the Dionysian/Apollonian dichotomy, the battle of man's rationality against primal impulse. Typically, it's in the intellectual realm that their conflicts are resolved, not a knock-down, drag-out slugfest.
Still, the fanboys continue to demand this balm, so the comics companies respond with bigger and more drawn out matchups, filling the page with entire scores of heroes and adversaries, crossing over ad nauseum, dipping into other universes or (lately) resurrecting the dead in order to cater to this pointless obsession.
Like the silver screen's "action salad" (as James Cameron called it), it's visual junk food...quickly created, consumed and forgotten. And as usual, the craft of quality storytelling goes out the window.
So, what's my opinion of your match-ups? Just that I'd rather see a battle of neurons over muscle power any day of the week.
Who'd prevail in a poker game between Bane, Deathstroke and The Joker? -
Ted, you've never seen the original KARATE KID? Damn.
I think you really ought to see that one, but would recommend building a time machine first and travelling back to the Eighties in order to get the full essence of the experience.
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Captain America makes Batman cry. Why? Because he is: Bigger. Stronger. Faster. More powerfully built. Able to withstand superhuman level abuse. But most importantly, because he never loses to a black leather and latex wearing, psychotic with serious mommy-daddy separation issues. You're welcome.
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http://tinyurl.com/y8l5bhb
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aNd banned. I got confused. But trolls can bounce back quickly. I knew he'd say it wasn't Harry but someone else whose name he cinveniently doesn't remember. off to my double feature
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NO. NO. NO. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
http://tinyurl.com/yfqxmjn -
Why the fuck did I laugh at that video? I think the use of the term "colored lady" did it, to be honest. Wowzer®s!
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JettL... Didn't he claim he was the son of George Lucas or something? He had the inside scoop on the next Batman film, right?
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You have listed your problem with this tournament, so I'll take the time to explain my side:
1) I mentioned above that I am trapped in Minnesota and bored. I could either type this or "All work and no play makes Continentalop a dull boy. "
2) I also mention above that I am a huge MMA fan and I am training in martial arts. I decided to combine my love of martial arts and comics for my own enjoyment. This contest is just me trying to figure out who would win in a fight without having to follow the dictates of fans and plot neccissity. I could have posted this at Bloody Elbow but figured the Pedalbackers would appreciate it more.
3) Yes, brains have always played a part in comics but first and foremost they are about action. Sherlock Holmes has been in stories where a punch hasn't been thrown or a shot fired, but I can't think of one major Batman story where he doesn't kick someone's ass in the end. So brawns are just as much apart of heroes resume as brains.
4) Arguing who would win in a fictional fight has been a time honored tradition in comics (it's what led to Superman racing the Flash & The Hulk fighting the Thing, and the old debate of Superman vs Captain Marvel) but also in sports (would the '85 Bears beat the '78 Steelers?) and in war (would the US have been able to beat the USSR during the 80s). These are always physical contest; No one ever debates who would win in an art contest or pits Einstien vs Newton in a physics free-for-all. I am just following that tradition.
4) You look at these fights as just contests of dumb force; I see them as physical chess problems. Seriously, if you face an opponent who is quicker and has a much greater reach than you, how do you beat him? What is your strategy, and what techniques and tactics have proven to work? And how would a man who has trained all his life in hand-to-hand combat able to defeat a bruiser armed with buzzsaws?There is a lot of strategy to a fight so that makes it an intellectual exercise.
5) I agree that superheroes shouldn't be all about fights. I am not a fan of Batman facing opponents who are just physical foes, and instead prefer him going against arch-criminals like the Joker, the Penguin and the Riddler who challenge his detective skills and intelligence (as exemplified by his ability to escape from a death trap). I also have debated with people who think Superman needs to face a physical foe next movie; the Luthor-Superman dichotomy is much more interesting to me than Sups versus someone like Doomsday.
So I can understand your concerns and your dislike at the direction comics have taken (give me Doc Oct over Carnage & The Penguin over Bane any day of the weak) but I doubt my lttle hypothetical fights are the cause or will accelerate the fall of American comics.
PS - your card game is a joke, as in the Joker will easily win (the Joker is wild). A Texas Hold 'em game between Joker, Bullseye, Trickster, Mysterio and The Gambler would be much more interesting. -
http://vimeo.com/6210251
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Thanks for stoking that desire, moose!
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You never hafta explain yourself in a PB!
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December 29th, 2009 - The Trio ®eturn: Attack of The YackbackerThe day begins with Sixies (I'll drop the "New" because I don't think he liked it) and Cheeses insisting they got their story-telling appendages stroked by AVATAR. I could insult their story-telling appendages but that would be stupid and cruel. I'll just say they might want to stick to the "it surprise-sexed my eyeballs after all" argument because very few who have seen it - not even James FACKING® Cameron - believe AVATAR tells a memorable story.UFC® Challenge of The Superheroes continues. Captain America gets Bane to submit. Of course he does, because having Captain America lose would cause a stock market collapse, a crisis in education, the failure of marriage, the terrorists decisive victory against Our Way Of Life®, and a resurgence of communism. Plus, it'd make Glenn Beck cry. Deathstroke swords Taskmaster. Shang-Chi to-the-deaths Richard Dragon, Bruce Lee-style. Batroc leaps over Killer Croc to Round 2.BurnHollywood brings more incorrectly worded insults and trademarks the phrase "Broadway faggots."The First ®eturn: Series7 mentions Stabby's $100,000 movie budget idea has been taken up by an actual film studio. That'll hardly cover the 3-D cost of CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: EPISODE 4 - THE INVENTION OF THE WHEEL. Series also takes issue with Roger Ebert leaving MARY & MAX off the list of Ten Best Animated Films of 2009, and he shrugs his shoulders over all the love for MAN ON WIRE. I'm forced to defend I LOVE YOU, MAN and Rush. It's impossible to defend Rush, but I stand my ground ®E: I LOVE YOU, MAN.Rashida Jones is Quincy Jones' daughter? I did not know. She was the female co-star in I LOVE YOU, MAN and can be seen every week in "Parks & Recreation" on television. Her daddy's the jazz arranger and record producer responsible for connecting Eddie Van Halen and Michael Jackson, thereby, The One True King of Pop.Just because Michael Haneke directed CACHE doesn't mean any of his other shit don't stink.'moose practices his diplomatic skills on BurnHollywood.The Second ®eturn: water_shit_anderson praises INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. Of course he does, because it is great. He also "outs" Mr. Silent as a lip-syncher. For those of you who are noobs and do not know, this is Mr. Silent: http://tinyurl.com/69hd6g Series7 pimps WORLD'S GREATEST DAD, the black comedy directed by Bobcat Goldthwait starring Robin Williams, as his second favorite movie of the year (behind DISTRICT 9), going so far as to advocate Mork's hairy balls over Vera Farmiga's body double's fine, fine ass.iota®Mr. Silent at the UFC® Superhero Challenge Tournament.Old wookies are horny for Diahann Carroll.Baby Huey expresses his loneliness in song - http://tinyurl.com/qsg6lb - and "The Star Wars Christmas Special (Abridged)" - http://tinyurl.com/yz9428x - courtesy 'moose.I have an Oscar theory that favors the average-to-awful, depending, UP IN THE AIR.Sixies sees the trailer for "The White Ribbon" and for a moment thinks he's been kidnapped and forcibly time-traveled to late-fifties Sweden where everyone speaks in enigma-ese and frowns constantly and nothing makes any sense.New Year's Resolutions and Other Useless Traditions: Exercise. Pedalbackers, on whole, are pretty fit. Only Subtitles will admit to being fat and weak. But I have a lovely singing voice, so I have that going for me. Children and puppies, also, don't run from the room when I am in it. Teddy resolves to drink less. 'Lop and Series resolve to write more. I resolve...oh, it doesn't FACKING® matter what I resolve - I ain't accomplishing less procrastination. Deal.The Slight ®eturn: Yackbacker with a kamikaze "hello."Projectile vomiting as a physical defense strategy."Becoming Batman" by Dr. Paul Zehr. Buy it or borrow it. Read it. Enjoy it. Learn from it. Use the fitness tips. But, please, under any iota of circumstances, don't do it. There is only one Batman, and he is Bruce Wayne. (FACK® you, Grant Morrison. You're insane!)Flight of The Conchords "We're Both in Love With a Sexy Lady"Stabby has seen SHERLOCK HOLMES and agrees with 'Lop that it's a winner. 'Lop wasn't convinced by the CGI version of Victorian London, but that flaw did not affect his enjoyment too adversely. (That's what I meant to say, 'Lop - better?)Meanwhile, Yackbacker played dinosaurs with his 2-year-old nephew.The Pedalback® returns to the #1 spot among Top Talkbacks @ 5:30 P.M.Teddy turns down my job application but in a way that is not demeaning to me, and I appreciate that.Subtitles' Downloaded Songs of The DayNo guy-liner, no lipstick, no skinny black jeans. Teddy has no emo in him.The Third ®eturn: Yackbacker sits down wearing no pants. Teddy and I look the other way so we don't peep his junk accidentally. Yack and Teddy agree on AVATAR that "eh, maybe we'll see it eventually." (Oh jebus®, you know Cheeses didn't let that stand.) Yack mentions Sarah Jessica Parker, so he and I begin to hate on THE FAMILY STONE to the point where we cause a reverse reaction in Teddy who threatens to Netflix the movie which makes us drop the subject. Yackbacker is gay for Sandra Bullock whom Teddy met once. That explains that forlorn look that Sandra is so good at. When the script calls for a melancholy expression, Sandra recalls meeting our Teddy and rues, thinking of what might haves they'd've shared.BurnHollywood brings more sunshine and tells me my breath reeks of penis.Word of The Day®: Yowza (!, optional)I'm an iota gay for Luke Wilson, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. (Luke, call me.) Yack is an iota gay for Daniel Craig. Cheeses and BurnHollywood have an iota of a moment together.Taking The ® Too Far? You ain't seen nothing yet.ZILCH!®Yack explains his point of view ®E: 3-D. Much more reasonable than "it'll change everything forever because James Cameron and Robert Zemeckis say so."Hello, Flickapoo. Nice to see you. Well, read your post, you know what I mean. You got an iota of it for Luke Wilson, too? Well, it's just an iota. It was really nothing you had to confess to Mrs. Flickapoo.Meanwhile, Sixies watched BASTERDS.Series hates on my downloads and trades insults with ISleptWithEtc. I can't tell if they're fighting or flirting. It may be true what the jacktarded conservoes think: "Gay," even in iotas, may be contagious.Yack advocates an iota of incest. That's just wrong even if you're related to Isla Fisher.'moose's barrage of disturbing videos includes Venom taking a bath, a creepy-sad anime devotee, some out-and-out gay weirdness, chuggin' Dew®, fuckin' Cheetos®, and sexualized animal puppets.Cheeses posts his favorite Tiger Woods joke in only his third unrelated-to-AVATAR post since December 18th. 'Lop has a conspiracy theory about JettL and Liam Neeson, and he turns his resolution into a pact with Ted, Series and Yack, specifics pending.GRIN!® Look, I know Ass_Tastes might've turned the GRIN thing into sort of a joke, but I only used that because I couldn't tolerate emoticons (this was before I was comfortable with my iota gyaness) and couldn't think of another way to denote no-offense sarcasm, and I don't see why now you guys would bring it up and rub it in my face...GRIN.Meanwhile, I'm watching Kennedy Center Honors on CBS. I missed Robert DeNiro, so I have to settle for Grace Bumbry (she was an internationally acclaimed opera singer when she was in her twenties in the sixties before Civil Rights were codified - the Jackie Robinson of contemporary opera, excuse my pithiness). I'm moved by the story, but I can't stand opera. That's followed by the All-Star wank-fest to Bruce Springsteen. At least it was cool seeing Jon Stewart make Mel Brooks laugh. I just never got the Springsteen thing, and I'm of the age where I should have. I guess I used to think he was sort of preachy, and he only occasionally pushed my rock-n-roll buttons. Then he became a gazillionaire, but he wouldn't stop pretending to be Mr. Common Man®. It's not the age, although I do expect my 50+-year-old rockers to Sting it down a little and start singing about limousines and investment portfolios (stick to things you know). It's the money. You want me to feel your yearning, Boss? FACK® you.Sose®A blue moon is the second full moon to occur in a single month. It happens around every two-and-a-half years, hence the phrase "once in a blue moon." Tomorrow, Thursday, there will be a blue moon, and it will be New Year's Eve, so that's like a Pink-Floyd-"Dark Side of the Moon"-level event. Smoke a bowl, sing the song and drink a wheat beer with an orange slice, will yas? Spifftacular Squirrel Girl will. She's our first (perhaps, hard to really know) lady Pedalbacker? Be a shame if I'd missed any of the other ladies, he said in his best imitation of a George Clooney-esque charmer's drawl.Meanwhile, Harry posts a special black box in his DVDback to expose one of JettL's exaggerations. It is agreed by all in attendance, including strosmer, that JettL has taken his "insider" schtick way-too far.D®Morbius catches the feve®, and we begin to substitute all of our "r"s with ®.In a stunning tu®n of events, Bu®nHollywood d®ops his conf®ontationa®y ways to add®ess his distaste fo® supe®he®o battle scena®ios in a cogent and a®ticulate manne®. Now, he's entitled to disag®ee with us ove® anything including BASTE®DS, and he can insult me all he wants, but he has to apologize to 'moose fo® his condescension befo®e he ea®ns Pedalback pe®ks.Cobra--Kai shows up way-late. Tardiness does not exist in this dojo.And now...
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And now...
We all drink beer and cheat on our wives? -
Jim lad!
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You just ®e-ene®gized this mutha.
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JettL actually came clean about his schtick to me and a few other guys. It happened I think in the ass end of one of those really long Beaks Top 100 talkbacks. He kinda made the big reveal that the whole thing had been a ruse but predictably no one much responded.
Pretty weak that after doing that he's carried it on again... -
savagedave, I saw a DTV masterpiece a few nights ago. You gotta blog it out...
GEORGE AND THE DRAGON starring James Purefoy, Michael Clarke Duncan, Val Kilmer, and Patrick 'back when he lived' Swayze!!!
Really shit... but really awesome at the same time. Have you seen it? -
sounds harshy on your AVATAR enthusiasm. It's all in fun, okay? I am pleased that Sixies liked it a bunch. I really am. It's just that Smooches is approaching Dioxian levels of AVATAR fetishery®.
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For the good of humanity.
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That's all on you guys. Yesterday seemed like old times. Props also, again, to Sixies, 'Lop, Cheeses, savage and others who poked the fires over Christmas week.
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Be back shortly.
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No i've not, not watched much TV or films either of late. It sounds awesome though. Is it like REIGN OF FIRE, only worse?
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obviously because I only really hang out in The Pedalback, and he isn't in here much, so he can't frazzle my last nerve. Once I realized the whole Firefly thing was just him unzipping his gimmick, I didn't mind it.
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That's the thing- I didn't see Karate Kid when I was a kid, so I don't think I'd get much enjoyment out of it now. But I will say, and I bet you'll hate me for it, but that new Karate Kid movie doesn't look half bad. At the least it has a decent trailer.
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Yack, I'm pretty sure it was in the 75-100 of Beaks top 100 and towards the end of the thread but finding it again would be like looking for a needle in a haystack - and JettL aint worth it!
Believe me though, he did drop the blagging for at least a few posts. -
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Fighter of the Night Man! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Champion of the Sun! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhaaaaaaaaa! You're a master of Karate and friendship for everyone! DAYMAN!
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savage, it makes REIGN OF FIRE look like a Best Picture contender. It's more like KOMODO only worse.
Val Kilmer's name isnt even in the credits, i'm guessing the fucker made them remove it when he realised what he'd gotten himself into.
I think it's a fairly recent movie but the Dragon effects look like the placeholder animatics for DRAGONHEART. -
Ted, don't stick up for that tween cash-in remake! Now drop and give me twenty*.
*viewings of the original KARATE KID. -
Billy Zabka in spandex skeleton tights for Meanest Villain You Want To Cuddle So He Don't Turn Into Darth Vader.
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You're almost never in here this early.
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Subs, that be the one.
It's the kind of film you could use as a demonstration to gullible morons. Show them GEORGE AND THE DRAGON and then AVATAR to demonstrate how unbelievably far CGI fx have come on in just 5 years. -
It's so far removed from the CONCEPT of the original that I'm sort of looking at it as its own thing.I'm not even saying that it's going to be a good movie. Only that it has a well-crafted trailer. It's not like I'm gonna pay to see it in the theater or anything.
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Magic.
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pull a SHERLOCK HOLMES and be a great bit better than its trailer suggests?
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Seen that Asylum of rushed out a Princess of Mars flick to cash in on Avatar? Starring Antonio Sabato Jr (always a sign of quality) and Traci Lords.
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Yah, I got to work on time for once. And it looks like it's gonna be a slow day. So...Are we having fun yet?
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You act like the effects in GEORGE were all that the available tech would allow. May I remind everyone that Gollum was slinking around in 2004, and compared to him, Cameron's cats look (in the trailers and all ads at least) like malformed puppets?
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IN 2002.BY 2004.On the Gollum thing.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHaaaaaaaaaaahh!
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just wants her egg back?'dave - you GOTTA blog this one! Please??????
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He'll save everyone of us?Every man?Every woman?Every child?Aaah-aah?
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Subs, what I meant was the dragon CG looks like it was from '84 not 2004!
The CG in AVATAR is actually fantastically good, but mostly the Navi stuff and the live-action stuff is kept pretty seperate so it doesnt jarr. AVATAR felt to me like a 'graphic novel' on screen. Not quite live-action, not quite animation. In particular it reminded me of a comic book called Give Me Liberty by Frank Miller & Dave Gibbons.
Subs, I know you've taken a vow of celibacy when it comes to seeing AVATAR but you should reconsider because it does look like being an 'important' film in many regards, plus if you don't catch it now and wait for home release you'll forsake the chance to ever see it in 3d. -
My bad. Fuck it. I'm not awake yet, and I'm still not over the flash of Yack's nutsack I caught yesterday when I looked through his window.Forgive me.
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I'm talking 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'. There's a scene (and a song) I just can't get out of my head.
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Only in the sense of technology, maybe, which, as you know, is something I give less than an iota of a crap about. Can we please reserve "important" for films that actually inform us in a new way about the real-life, actually standing there, human condition?Will you guys not allow me at least that much?Please?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQoJvgnSj5M
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Except I WILL go see Avatar at some point.
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You may have just slapped 'moose in the face with a soft glove and said something French to him.I can't wait for him to top that.
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'Casual Sex'. Andrew Dice Clay is a freaking revelation in that one.
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Dec 30, 2009 1:26:23 PM CST
Worry not, Cobes, if I'm not going to see AVATAR in the theater,
by subtitles_off
I'm certainly not going to see it on DVD. The only reason it exists is for the theatrical experience. If cameron was really sincere about this game-changing bullshit, he wouldn't allow a DVD release, re-releasing the thing theatrically every seven years like a Disney cartoon or WIZARD OF OZ, pre-TV. Then, we'd really have a valid comparison of its importance.Nope. I'm more convinced than ever - and, no, not just because I'm knee-jerking my curmudgeonery - that this particular spectacle is one I should skip.
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Does anyone else hea® Stephen Hawking ®obot-voice when ®eading wo®ds with the ® in?
O® is it just me? -
Subs, do you like green eggs and ham?
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And, I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, you know that, but Cobes, RE: The Importance of AvatarYou said many ways. I'll give you two: Cameron's bank account and Cheeses', et al's, entertainment.How else is AVATAR important? Did it make you question your assumptions about capitalism and climate change to the point you think there will be a groundswell of reformation? You think war is wronger now than you thought on December 17th?Did you even go home after seeing it and treat your cat kinder?Fuck!
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Technological revolution, Yes. But only because Cameron, Lucas et al want it to be so.
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I will not post anothe® ®emark conce®ning AVATA®, says I, in my best impe®sonation of Stephen Hawking's ®obotic voice.
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teddy hasn't seen the latest TV ads.That doesn't really count.®esolution in effect...NOW.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
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...a regular theater or does it require IMax?The dialogue in the previews is shit...so I need the full visual pleasure to get me through...
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®eplacin9 all of his "g"s with "9"s? How ha®d would it be, typin9 like this fo® 9®ins, 9i99les and shits?
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with 9reat joy.
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Howdy!
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I think AVATAR's importance will be written by history, so it's hard to predict without a crystal ball. But I think any film that makes a huge impact at the box office and puts bums on seats does help steer the broader course of cinema... and it looks like AVATAR's going to join the GONE WITH THE WIND club.
I'd like to say that it means the film maker is now 'limited only by his imagination' - but that would kinda gloss over the fact that it cost close to 400 million dollars to make and market the damn movie in the first place!
I'm just worried that if you don't see it, you'll be like the music fan that's never heard THE BEATLES or the sci-fi geek that hasn't seen STAR WARS!
Even if you know yourself well enough to be 90% certain that you wont enjoy it... there's always that 10% possibility that you might have fun! -
Yackbacker said he'd be back soon.Sixies is at the movies.'moose and 'dave are posting tinyurls to hilarious videos.And, I think I inadvertently pissed Cobra--Kai off, but maybe I'm just being insecure.There, I think you're caught up.
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What did old sixies end up thinking of Bastards?
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Woah what a poop- I need to go buy more toilet paper in a little while. What did I miss?
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That;'s exactly my point. There may not be a single person on the planet who has never heard The Beatles. There will be hundreds of MILLIONS who never see any given movie. Your hyperbole seems out of whack to me.
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Fucking theater is cash only and I haven't touched greenbacks since I stopped pimping. subs have you heard of the diz doc called waking sleeping beauty about the later diz animated years. Supposed to come outbut alas
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Long time no TB!
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That's, what, my pinky toe?
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...theater's digital 3D good enough?
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Remind me to ask him when he gets back from his FANTASTIC MR. FOX / WTWTA $2 double feature.
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Jetl93 got called out on his fakery?
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How are things?
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What did you think of Inglourious Basterds?
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But I still don't know why I'm ok with calling you water_shit but not diarrhea like everyone else. I guess I'm just overly formal.
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but I thought the regular digital 3d was good. Good for the digital-ness and the 3d-ness.
I have read that some people think the Imax version is more immersive...which I guess that is to be expected with the bigger screen, but other pickier people have said the Imax version is not as sharp as the real D version since its blown up. -
Everybody typing all over each other.Jebus®, I'd almost convinced myself I was okay without it.I feel so good, I'd give toadkiller a quickie in the stalls. As long as it was something he was up for, and nobody else was there to see us.
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Ass_Tastes, though. He's welcome to come in if he promises to behave, but I have to draw a line. Can anybody blame me?
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any sort of watery-shitty combination is cool with me...Mr. Ted Kord.
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This is the good stuff right here!
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Now that's PROFESSIONAL.
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Very Top-Of-The-Roof-At-The-End-Of-An-Era-ish. We'll see how you like it.
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BASTERDSTell us.
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a song by the greatest band in the world or something by Jefferson Airplane.
Either of which would be great -
it's a song by someone imitating the greatest band in the history of the world even if the world has been changed forever by something I've resolved not to post about from here on.
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basterd's spelling continuity could use a little more attention to detail.
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well, you know, but he wouldn't be ignoring you, poo_splatter.Maybe if we yell louder.SIXIES!!!SIXIES!!!SIXIES!!!SIXIES!!!SIXIES!!!SIXIES!!!
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to catch up.I've told him before just to skip all of my shit.
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roller coaster time machine?
You know what you need subs....you need a word or phrase to use that replaces the one you refuse so mention....some sort of thing that allows you to be there in the discussion without actually being there......you know...like some sort of avatar or something. -
'dave shared this with us:http://tinyurl.com/kqsn4w It's awesome.
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...professionals and would get reams of technical data.Apparently not.Thanks again Mr. Shits.
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DAMN YOU TO HELL!
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Nice!But that would be cribbing on the intent of my resolution which is blowing it sure as anything else, at which point I might as well just break my resolution.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQoJvgnSj5MJust remove all the breaks and spaces and shit.
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amateurs?
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We can re-take the mountain top if you are willing to scat like in the old times.I'll start you offSnappin' fingersRice Krispie treats
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But I don't get sound on the work comp. For a computer, I may as well have a box with an abacus hanging in it.
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YouTube® it when you can.Muppets vs. Electric Six
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between imax 3d and real d 3d....i think they both use polarized glasses and project digitally...so the 3d should be identical...the size would be the only real difference...but I could be wrong.
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...But we're gonna be back on top fairly soon, I think.
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That sounds good
like a dangerous cloud
laughing loudly they all stop.
marked stones note the line
sallow window of cool feather
Listen farther and see it
I can see! I can see!
It gathered steam as the trail leaned
picking its pieces on turn
a full wind and shatter!
knock it about!
precious -
Dec 30, 2009 2:35:57 PM CST
...I'm just saying I showed up at the shop with a straightforwar
by flickapoo
...technical question. I hung out around the door...tried not to get in the way...I would have thought one of you grease monkeys could have washed your hands and stopped molesting each other just long enough to point a civilian in the right direction...I'm not complaining...but I WILL have a thing or two to drop in the suggestion box.
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I love me some muppets.
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you said scat
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preciousrareuncommonCome onIsla Fisherincest wisherBe bop a luLa
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Basterds is great. I saw it in the theater withoutthe wife. She fell asleep. I pressed on.as with avatar I've seen it twice. Once in 2d and once IMAX. Yeah the IMAX is more you are there experience so if at all possible see it on a bigger sceen. That said had I just seen it in 2d I'd been happy and fully satisfied
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We are number one! But water_shit is still number two.
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shoop da da do da...ska roppa doppa
de dilla dalla screeeee noka mocha
a bop a' do bop de dop ska dop a -
You step right up to that counter and flash your Pedalback card.You initiated this hallway of our massive bitch, so you are entitled full privileges.Anybody gives you shit, we sick Cheeses on 'em.
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Dec 30, 2009 2:41:58 PM CST
Only in the sense that watery shit exits the second orifice.
by subtitles_off
diarrhea is always #1 when he's in the room.That's the first Pedalback by-law.You signed your contract. Can't back out on it now, Teddy.
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but you saying you couldn't free style as well...which is not the case
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RecompenseGet your ass offa that fenceStep to this sideStep to thatI wanna hear my poo boy scat!
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I am a lowly rat herder and my wife has herpes.
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...we let that one die screaming like a stuck Carpathian pig.
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Say my name not once twice or thrice but six times
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against Tarantino's other films?
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Don't wanna hear your shit no moreTrailer's high defTrailer's frenchTrailer still makes no FACKING® sense
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the Vladback gets special recognition from The Pedalback. savagedave loved The Vladback.
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Stay tuned.
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And water_shit is, of course, aces in my book. Nice scatting, tho.
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of incalculable gradationEverybodyTell the nationIt was by sheer accidenceI typed it six timesAnd called him henceNow I knowAgain I'll do itWhen your shit is waterYou gots ta poo it
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...but I'd be lying.
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I just goof about with words.
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Some dude named Jackson invented the first breakfast cereal which required soaking overnight before consumption. No sale, Jackson. Anyway, it all came from the vegetarian movement of the mid 19th Century in the U.S. I'm not a vegetarian, nor do I aspire to become one, but I do give those sausage-dodgers credit for bringing me cereal.
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the way Clashback did. But, saying that, I'll say this: Clashback tickled my nethers as well.
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Mine will always be Raisin Bran.
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shoo-boppityBopWopShang shizz diddle bapZapBoFapSkizzle skizzleJam bamSnapDig?
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I dunno that's hard. Like it better than death proof and dogs. I'd say equal to kill bill and Jackie. Pulp still holds a special place in my heart
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1. Oatmeal Raisin Crisp
2. Multigrain Cheerios
3. Special K with space-age freeze-dried strawberries!
4. Frosted Mini-Wheats
5. Kashi Go Lean Crunch
6. Corn Pops
7. Raisin Bran -
Life cereal is probably my fave.
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He'll eat anything.
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he gets his heart broken by a girl. Then, he gets laid off, and all the movies turn to mindless 3-D blockbusters. Mikey dies alone and bitter.
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the more I watch it the better I like it. I don't know if it is the same with others or not.
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it's like the fruit is actually there waiting for your milk to make it edible.
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but i think you are referencing a cereal commercial.
Mikey getting pissed off at a hollywood obsessed with mindless 3d rung a bell... -
Mikey likes it when you play with his anus, but he doesn't want it to become a regular thing. Mikey likes creativity in the sack- he even likes it when the occasional girl has a penis. Mikey likes it a lot.
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Warning: Not actual pebbles.
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I have to watch it again. I don't see how my respect for it can rise. I really dig it already. For me, Tarantino goes RESERVOIR DOGS, JACKIE BROWN (his most un-Tarantino film), BASTERDS (just by an iota), and then a jump offa cliff to PULP FICTION, KILL BILL VOL. 1, VOL. 2, then another cliff-dive.
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One, Mikey was a character in a long running Life Cereal ad campaign.Two, I don't like any digits anywhere near my anus.I'm not judging. I'm just saying.
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I forgot about fruity pebbles....and coco pebbles!
Those are my favorite when its time to OD on sugar. -
They're basically fessing up to the fact that their cereal is a drug. SMACKS!
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the name of the Cap'n Crunch® cereal that had vanilla flavored crunchberries® in it? I FACKING® loved that one.
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With the crusts cut off!
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My mom always had the generic-brand version in the house. The cartoon frog never made it more palatable.
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I always wanted to eat a bowl of just the marshmallows, but I was too scared. Aaargh! I've wasted my life!
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Sorry, I'm multitasking at the moment- trying to do some online banking while talking about anuses and BASTERDS. Wow, thank Bale for the internets.
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I always wished those were real.
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Man, if those crazy kids can't K.I.T., what chance do the rest of us have?
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they introduced interactive advertising, and you could vote on whether you wanted Quisp® cereal (he was an alien) or Quake® cereal (he was a macho, red-blooded American digger, as in shoveler, of shit, if I remember correctly.) Both tasted exactly like Cap'n Crunch® but were shaped differently.If I remember right, Quisp® won but disappeared anyway.
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Dec 30, 2009 3:19:36 PM CST
I usually eat the cereal first and save the marshmallows
by water_shit_anderson
for last.
At some food co-op or amish store or something I saw a bag of just those kind of marshmallows...but it being an amish store...or something like that...i didn't buy them. -
You haven't lived until you sat down and dissolved the cookies from a Chips Ahoy® bag to separate out the chocolate chips- to see if they do in fact live up to their promise of "1,000 chips in every bag!"
I went to college with a nice kid who did this experiment, wrote a letter to Nabisco afterwards telling them that they were not meeting their guarantee. They gave him hush-coupons and a letter telling him how smart he is. Wow. -
Those two were made for each other.Sarandon has an iota of conservatism in her. Am I right?
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...marshmallows and different shaped bits. Same thing though...just twice the sweetness.
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I'm not talking about piggybacking on an existing brand, I mean his own full-fledged cereal. I'd buy a box of Frosted Mini-Bales®.
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...in milk for at least half an hour.
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For Stabby and for Sixies.They not only kept The Pedalback alive, they, either one of them, will drop their bowl of cereal and give it mouth-to-mouth no matter what or when or, even, that gunky sea-weedy stuff stuck to the corner of its mouth.Thanks to them, we are all here today.Cheers!Cheers!AMEN.
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Lucky Bales, Special B, Honey Bunches of Professionals, etc.
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(with southern baptist church organ)
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keyboard shenanigans™!
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You break your teeth on Bale-Nuts™ no matter how long you soak 'em.
-
but I don't fall for 'Gary Oldmans Trix' anymore.
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So you think dogs is qt's best? Or his worst?
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Shenanigans™ indeed! Now, let's all have a piece of π.
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And no one has said Cinnomin Toast Crunch? Are you fucking kidding me?
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tied into the second animated series. It lasted about as long.
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but he demanded the crusts be removed.
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But it's only an iota. I really love both JACKIE BROWN and INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.
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from 1989- tied into the first movie. So, while Bale has yet to release his SugarBacks®, The Dark Knight ©2009 is covered.
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What did I type?I prefer either "volume" of KILL BILL to PULP FICTION.Way-way-way® prefer.
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I'd be afraid it would trash my lights. Also, it would mumble when I want some snap and crackle and pop.
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Why do they leave shrimp tails on at fancy restaurants?People eat those things?They just want you to look like an ass in a suit and tie picking at your food with your fingers?
-
Are can you not find Count Cocula/Boo Berry and Franken Berry in stores anymore?
-
caine remains unconvinced sugar bear is not a squirrel.
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Nobody seems to be looking for Fruit Beast or whatever the FACK® it was called, anyway.
-
If you're looking for marshmallows, there are none. Its quite bland, I assure you. www.youtube.com/watch?v=mriciTcs19w
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The Britsh tabs have tried to get a photo of Caine with his dick in a bowl of puffy rice. Tried for years.
-
I did see Count Chocula this year. But I wanted Frank or Boo.
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As the funniest thing that's gonna happen here today. BWAH-AHAHAHA-HAHAHA!
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Any takers?We'll see, we'll see.
-
water_shit, your wife has herpes?
And all day I thought it was these new jeans that were chafing... time to go see the doctor! -
RE: shittin' poo.
-
May have died, but I think it did its job. I've seen several references to being impaled through the anus and out of the mouth since it slipped away. Proof that good will out in the end.
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C'mon man, that movie is fucking magically awesome. I like to pop that disc in after an all-day drinking binge when I wake up delirous at 6am.
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With frosted balls the size of tangaaahrines!
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It really is like the whole Autumn is a blur, and we're all back in July.
-
http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/ (Tiny'd: http://tinyurl.com/9z5d3w )
Explanation (taken from ED, http://tinyurl.com/yok8t8 ):
My Immortal is the most famous, notoriously bad fan fiction ever written. Based very loosely in the Harry Potter universe and featuring the blatant Mary-Sue protagonist Ebony (or often times "Enoby"), it reads like a detailed list of everything a fanfic author could ever possibly do wrong, only taken to exaggerated, horrifying extremes. Written by super-tard Tara Gilesbie, My Immortal was originally posted to fanfiction.net sometime in 2006, but was subsequently deleted by the ff.net staff after causing a severe drop in the site's collective IQ. In fact, the fanfic is so unbelievably bad that many refuse to accept that it's real, insisting that Tara was only trolling and that the story is really a parody. Regardless of the author's intent, My Immortal remains one of the most cringeworthy, unintentionally hilarious, so-bad-it's-good pieces of literature the internets have ever shat out.
Excerpt:
"And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
'Oh! Oh! Oh! ' I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….
'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!'
It was……………………………………………………Dumbledore!"
There are 44 chapters, each is very short. There is one chapter, however, that was written by another author who had hacked the account. It was made to be the final chapter and didn't read like it was written by a retarded fetus. The "ending" in this 39th chapter is so perfect that it is worth taking the journey.
It's a harsh journey, and many have fallen along the path. But if you persevere and manage to read the story the whole way through, you'll be a stronger person because of it. -
Dec 30, 2009 3:54:25 PM CST
cap'n cam'rons 300 billion dollar peanut butter cats.
by water_shit_anderson
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We've seen more newbs over the past couple of days, too. Nice!
-
Rickey's been here for years!
-
Subs, you have never pissed me off purposefully or inadvertently.
And yes, I believe your pinky toe might enjoy AVATAR. But only if you take it to market and give it roast beef first. It's ALWAYS been jealous of those other toes for that. All it ever gets is tickled. Bastards. -
I read it all right.
-
but that bitch has been known to lie
sorry cobra -
Dec 30, 2009 3:58:44 PM CST
Rickey's out. Have a titty-fucking New Year everybody!
by rickey henderson
See you silly fuckers in the next decade!
-
Impotent or otherwise, forgive me, Ricky. You're not a newb, but it's been a long, long time.
-
Got second place in a contest. It was Mario Brothers meets Chinatown.
-
My big toe called it a fag and wouldn't let it into my shoe.FACKING® bully!
-
Rickey, we will! (particularly now vaginal intercourse with Mrs water_shit is out of the question)
HAPPY NEW YEAR! -
Gotta love it.I once clicked on some link to Batman fan fiction and started reading it. All of a sudden, Batman had Robin's 'roos down around his ankles, doing the Bat-nasty.I can't FACKING® believe what we've turned the Internet into.
-
...I wrote a story in which Barbie seduces Kermit in order to destroy his and Mrs.Piggy's fame. It ended with Ken blowing Kermit away with double-barrelled shotgun. I got an A.
-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimum_Online
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"cap'n cam'rons" needs to be trademarked and quick. That's got dollar bill potential.
-
He gets the job done.
-
But, they taste like 300 billion dollars, right? They don't cost $300 billion?Only JC hissef can afford to eat those peanut butter cups.
-
a Twitchback® coup of The Pedalback®.Where's 'Lop?
-
Being QT's best. Res Dogs was good, while I haven't seen Hard Boiled just knowing that its almost a complete rip off is annoying. Pulp feels like his ONLY original work. I explained my problem with QT film with a review of the movie Kiltro: "Another thing I got out of this movie is why I feel so cold toward all of Quentin Tarantino’s movies outside of Pulp Fiction. While yes some stuff in his movies are technically awesome, everything has left me flat and I’ve figured out why. He is TOO concerned with trying to imitate, reproduce or expand on some unknown movie from the 70’s, rather then creating his own style. Which yes in turn has created his own style, but again it’s all style and no substance.
Where as a movie like Kiltro, which will never be seen as some great film you can see their love for old Kung Fu movies. Instead of just copying old films they’ve created their own mystique and style, which ultimately is more rewarding then just a bunch of vanity shots showing off your movie trivia knowledge."
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Rickey is the TB equivalent of Eric B *and* Rakim.
He gets paid in full. -
FTFW.and i thank ya.
-
I nominate DICKBLOOD for Ice Cube.
-
no hard boiled is its own film bro. reservoir dogs swiped from the killing and city on fire (or ..of fire) cant rememeber...but its still a great debut...
-
PULP is nearly as mannered and pretentious and derivative as DEATHPROOF.INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, in fact, provides the first completely, truly individualistic flourish in QT's career. Re-write the ending of WWII and PULL IT FACKING® OFF? Those are BALLS!
-
For real, yo.
-
sweat from my ballz!!!!
-
Dec 30, 2009 4:14:36 PM CST
i say damn because hes right...cheeses should be odb
by water_shit_anderson
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BASTERDS upgraded to #2 on my list of Favorite Movies of The Year, knocking GOMORRAH and THE HURT LOCKER down a notch, respectively.
-
Yackbacker, you've just given me an idea for a whole new tb identity. Say goodbye to Cobra--Kai, say hello to...
MC SPAMMER !!!!!! -
It's the best persona out there. Alright, who wants to be Easy E?
My next nomination is Conti as Chuck D. -
Does he count.
-
Go for it!
-
"You fucking poser.” I muttoned."That whole has to be a piss take. Hasn't it?!
-
As long as you're true to yourself.
-
MC SPAMMER has NOTHING to contribute to film discussion. He just lives to spam comments such as "Stop. Hammer time." and "Cant touch this."
I think people would warm to that and embrace MC SPAMMER as a valued AICN community member... -
Don't get me wrong, I loves me some DICKBLOOD, but is there some confusion here?
-
Now I gotta watch where the wild things are and see if I agree.
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pulp is anything but derivative...you have to give credit where credit is due.whats cool about PULP and unfortunate for all the countless ripoffs afterwards is that you really didnt know where the story was gonna go...or whos it about (butch btw)it takes 3 "classic" genre stories and flips them...rather than have the goombah have sex with the moll and the gangster go after him (which is what its building to), QT takes a left turn into cinematic history with a syringe...each story in the film is like that...still great story and the only reason why people cant stand the "too hip for school" dialogue is because of the many films that stole from the cliche made great here.
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A little Humpty Hump, yeah!
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Jebus®, I love that.
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City on Fire thats it. Same difference. Also I think Pulp fiction is his least boring, and funniest.
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I included DICKBLOOD for his Baleworthiness, but if he hasn't done time in the Pedalback®, we can move forward.
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Yack, you just named my fave hip hop group.
I gotta be Shock G or Money B. -
cause i havent been leaving breadcrumbs..but we did have that joint venture to that UK site a while back...
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That equals unoriginality to me. Maybe "unoriginality" is a word with bad connotations. So be it.
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Cool?
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if i do recall..
Thats an award right? -
Dec 30, 2009 4:24:42 PM CST
In this context, is it safe to say JettL93 is Milli Vanilli?
by yackbacker
I am thinking that's a slam-dunk.
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I don't want to harsh the renewed vibe you've dropped in my lap. I just want history to reflect history, you know?
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Freaks Of The Industry - Digital UndergroundSay you're G'in'
Nobody else is seein'
And the freak that you're with is in front of you,
Bendin' over naked, and she's leanin' on the dresser [Ooh yeah]
You're lookin' at her from the rear
She looks just like Vanessa [The right stuff?]
Uh uh, not Vanessa with the singer career,
But the X-rated video queen,
Know what I mean? [Uh huh] A'ight, here's the scene
You're lying on you're back with your head on the edge of the bed,
The booty's two feet from your head
Should you: A, take the time to find a condom,
B, you walk right over and you pound 'em,
C, tell her that you want her love,
Well the answer is D, [D], all of the above.
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...lesbian fan fiction. REAL lesbian fan fiction...very educational.
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Yeah, I was there when Dre learned to make a record.
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Had to fucking look that up.
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by my lonesome and then kidnapped my friend to see it the next day...officially my first film to see twice in a 24 hour period...which would be beat 5 years later when ep one came out..5 times in one day...midnight...11...3...9....and midnight...we started falling asleep during the slow parts but also picked up many things long the way...like ETs in the senate
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Dec 30, 2009 4:27:27 PM CST
Cobra awarded us Fists of Bale, if I remember rightly. Yes.
by subtitles_off
I still can't sit down without wincing.
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Keep this shit going, gents. Who's 2 Live Crew? That's a good one...
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from Zimbabwe, who introduced me to world-beat, and looked at me afterwards and said, "What defuck, mon?" You think I invented DEFUCK®. Nope, I just capitalized it.Anyway, blessings to you, my friend, who has now gone from this world to a better one. Praise.
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in a remake. Looks like his career trajectory is one thing that hasn't changed.At least Leo and Kate escaped the orbit.
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i've got to go.
peace!
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Absolutely essential reading for any heterosexual male who wants to please a lady.
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I wanna be Busta Rhymes and fight Michael Myers with karate!
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Popped in on the first PB, as it approached 10k.
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and dave and ted!
ps....can I be Del tha Funkee Homosapien? -
I don't mean any offense. I'm just saying I've always appreciated The Baleback as one thing. The Pedalback as another. I guess it's because I feel a part of The Pedalback, and I never was part of The Baleback.I just get real sensitive at the merge. Continentalop can explain it a whole lot better than I do.
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I do not know who that is. I'll just assume somebody cool.
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What have I missed?
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Harry is Biggie Smalls (made his splash in the 90s, a legend ever since, despite his productivity plummeting)
Mori is Will Smith- he done gone Hollywood!
Robogeek is Tupac- he's dead but he's not!
Massawyrm is DEFINITELY Kid Rock- white, Republican... need I say more?
Quint is hard to nail down to be honest... suggestions?
Merrick is Rev Run of RUN DMC because... well, he has a 14 year-old son.
Carry on- -
Way to commit to Episode One, there, fella!
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That Encyclopedia Dramatica has some superbly NWFS links in it, scat gifs and the like.
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'Halloween:Resurrection'. Busta Rhymes vs. Michael Myers=TFD!
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Or that dude from Arrested Development. I am still thirsty.
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I must have seen EPISODE I in the theaters ten times, with different people each time and I would nudge my movie companion every fucking time to say "Look in the lower right-hand corner of the frame- ETs!" I did not have a girlfriend that year.
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He's part of the Gorillaz crew, but has done some pretty groundbreaking work on his own, too.
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Later fellas.
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I just remembered that. FUCK!®
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but it WAS back and to the left
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No one here respects you at all anymore! You might as well just leave and never come back! GR-ack!
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I fucking REFUSE! Alright, time to go get more meds from the guy on the corner. Be back shortly.
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that does sound good...
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http://tinyurl.com/ykewd8z
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how did you guys like the score...i thought it was very appropos and though people keep comparing it to titanic, i feel a braveheart vibe...
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im not crazy!youre the ones that crazy!you're driving me crazy!
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but I liked the score pretty well. I liked the flute notes that drop off at the end..or bend or whatever. You know what I mean...native american sounding flute in the score.
I'm actually making a pizza right now. -
All I wanted was a Pepsi!
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"Hair of The Dog" when I went in. Awesome. Some Jason Mraz-sounding faggy crap when I came out. Boo!
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brb....pizza
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I'll be sure to come back Monday with a sixteen-page dissertation on the film. I AM a big fan of the Horner, tho.
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She drives me crazy
Like no one else
She drives me crazyAnd
I can't help myself -
Sounds like a Batman(Ster?) villain.
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have to gonna call him out on his true feelings RE: That Thing I Don't Post About No More.Unless he was just playing to his preconceived notions about me the whole time. Damn!
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Is this Jackie Chan babysitter bullshit I'm seeing ads for here? What a fucking sellout.
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what's the Chromatacia?They're writing sci-fi epics about colors now?
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The Knife tickles the Kate Bush part deep down in me.
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as in the rock and/or roll group?
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I dig The Knife, but Kate Bush has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. I have a videotape of videos from the album 'The Whole Story', and I completely fell in love with her after watching it. Plus Jeremy Irons fakes playing a guitar in the video for 'The Big Sky' and it is hi-larious.
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Just one fucking Pepsi!
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHaaaaaaahhhh! Fighter of the Night Man! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHaaaaaaahhhh!
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But Joni Mitchell has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. It's an iota masculine.Come to think of it, Antony's might be the most beautiful. It's more than alot of iotas feminine.
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Wait until you get a taste of the sloppy joes, Sixies. You'll never leave this place. If we could only get some bitches to bring us some beer.
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fingers on the fajitas once.You thought I burned the tip of something else, dintcha?
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What's the name of that place you like with the fajitas and the goofy shit on the walls?'
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I FACKING suck at movie quotes!
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That's why I try to surpress the urge to quote movies. But quoting movies is a staple of my humor, so it's tough. That was from Super Troopers, and the appropriate response was 'You mean Shenanigans?'
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You mean Shenanigans?
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I can't get that out of my head.
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next year'll be the year I finally get it together and make my name known in the world," he muttoned, as he supped on a roast leg of lamb.
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I'll just try to refrain from quoting movies in your presence.
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refrain nothing in my presence. except flash your junk. Yackers almost rendered me blind last night.
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*Except flashing*FACK my fingers.
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I'm going to start a feminist magazine called VagNews. Then all the contributors will rip me limb from limb after the first issue comes out.
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Teddy Limbs™
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'They think I'm Mexican.'
'You're not?' -
you'll never forget. There'll be no sleep in here tonight."The one and only decent Pink Floyd tune sans Roger waters.
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I don't even have a need for it, I just feel left out.
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® ™ You just cut-n-paste like the rest of us.
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...too many niggas, not enough hos! Too many rookies, not enough pros!" That would be Tech Nine, and they roll out of the KC, in case you were wondering. I better not get banned for that.
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This month on VagNews, the magazine for strong women Madonna, feminist icon or just a slut?
Rosario Dawson naked - because all us women are a little lesbian.
Plus interviews with Alanis Morisette, Janeane the Gruffalo, and other famous men-hating women. -
there really is a magic button. Which nobody's given me either.That'll really piss me off.Yackbacker's handing out magic buttons willy-nilly, but he snubs me and Teddy.
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Suck it O™!
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Is Cobra. One word to describe him: professional.
If I had to use two words: well hung. -
you gotaa have an article ab-buh-buh-bout Bennie and The Jets.'Cause, they're weird, and they're wonderful.
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Dear God I'm a sub-level moron.
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I keep begging.
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You're a mezzanine-level moron, if you're a moron at all. That's it. End of discussion.Period.
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I do! I do!
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that was a movie quote, Sixies.
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What OS are you professionals running? I'm on a Mac, so my magic buttons may not be the same as yours.
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"Sting it down" and "mezzanine-level moron."I'm proud of those.I realize they're meaningless out of context.FACK™ context.
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You SUCK!
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™®and the Alien 3 thingy all in one post. Plus any other novel fonts/symbols you can think of. There's a way of writing in bold too, not sure what it is.
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And then, with only hours to go Conti made Cobra's decade.
Cheers! -
Windows SUCKS!
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The Baleback was a spontaneous and outrageous event. It was an all night party that finally was crashed by the cops.
The Pedalback is the greatest neighborhood bar ever, where your friends hang out. It is the kind of place you have to go after work or else you'll explode; where you can go back to after a two month absence and still feel at home. It is a rock in a sea of turbulence.
The Baleback was Bachelor Party; the Pedalback is Cheer or the Simpsons. -
That's 2 for those of you keeping count.
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I got my hands full right now with all of these crazy characters: Ω≈ç√∫˜µ≤≥÷æ…¬˚∆˙©ƒ∂ßåœ∑´®†¥¨ˆøπ≠–ºª•¶§∞¢£™¡ÍÎÏ˝ÓÔÒ∏؈¨Áˇ‰´„Œ⁄€‹›fifl‡°·‚˜ı◊Dz¸
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Pink Floyd?At first, it seems like a put-down, but, then, thinking about it, I'm okay with it.Vladback, though, is pissed that it's gotta be The Sex Pistols.
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I'd say the Pedalback is more like Paddy's Pub from 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'. We're WAY more depraved than the Cheers gang. Boom, my day on AICN comes full circle. Later kids, I'm off early.
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Recently on AIBN the big-titty girl in Queen For A Day (a softcore weekly pic-thread thingy) posted up pictures in the talkbacks and freaked everyone out.
If anyone knows html programming (or whatever else it may be called) then I guess it might be possible here too? -
Phew, I'm sizzling over here!
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keep poking the grizzly.'Ventually, the furry fucker bites.Sorry 'bout never capitalizing the "B" before, if you're all Asimov about that kinda thing.
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This site's traffic would triple in an hour.
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It's like that suede jacket Picard started wearing on TNG in the 5th season- to let the crew know he was not as uptight a cunt as he was in seasons 1 and 2.
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The Pedalback is Starship.
'Nothing's gonna stop us now', and their famous hit 'We built this thread on Gary Oldman'. -
It has been to long since we've seen you Savagedave.
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It's on like Donkey Kong now, son! Starship? You hurt my feeling, and I only got the one!
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Regular Starship- I don't have the glitter or shoulderpads to fit in.
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Usually, though, just in the wee hours and the morning (American-centric time).
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A three-month-younger Subtitles might've left in a snit.
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I'm not an expert... But I wonder if it is *possible*, for someone who really knows what they're doing to insert pics into tb's?
Although having said that, im glad this isnt one of those forums where everyone has a little icon piccie next to their username. -
Hello World!
How Are You? -
Hell, I don't even have Yackers magic keys, but every time I've tried to insert a photo, I've failed.
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No offense to anyone who posts on a forum where they have a little piccie next to their username, but those things are FUCKING LAME!!!
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500 posts in a day!!!! Tis is like old times...be ack once I've scanned...
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If I ever type that in reference to some movie, you'll all know I've pedal-backed on my resolution.
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I've decided she will be my mate.
And Cobra, I did another Cobrism last night:
"No does not exist in this dojo."
Fuck, did that mace hurt... -
Anyone got the little '3' for Alien 3? I just saved all the other symbols in a notepad document so's i can whip em out in other talkbacks.
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I'm [special key comma special key] years old!There is a crack in everything.
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FUCK, someone here has got to have the chops to put an image in the TBs.
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oughtta be shared.
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Conti, yes exactly. If the delectable desboobs can put photos in the aibn tb's then maybe... just maybe it could be done here too.
Remember 'no means no' even in the dojo! Sometimes a man has to make do with 1st base (and an in-memoriam wank back at homebase)! -
Does that mean it does?'Cause if that's what it means, it's not what I meant. So, wanking...ExistsOr exists it does not, said Yoda, mixing his movie metaphors like a fuck-stick.
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Yack, what pic were you trying to post into the tb? I woulda been v.impressed to see one appear.
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dojo extinction thing.
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"I need more Tequila."
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I think Yack was trying to post a phot of me between Giselle and Isla, smiling like a just-crowned merfer®.
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I agree..if Desboobs can shove pics into a Fistback...the same should be true here. I suspect given that THIS site is very primitive html...that you could write the code to pull a pic from another site.I'd try it...but the ban hammer would ring down on ol Conspiracy if it fucked up the TB...or worse...worked. ;)
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http://tinyurl.com/ycbkxr3 I thought it would have been appropriate given the venue.
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FACK® the ban-hammer. You'd have immortality. Your handle would be typed in tones of "awe." Wouldn't that be worth it?moviemack says "Yeah!"
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I see my screename in code. Weeeeeird....
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Yack, fuck thats scary!
I woulda preferred smiling Subs in a threesome.
Conspiracy, I think you're probably right y'know. Sadly also probably right about the swift banning that would follow. -
"smiling Subs in a threesome" wooda been some kind of awful compromise.
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photos of "smiling Subs in a threesome" do exist from the pre-TMZ era.So, FACK technology on that.
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Thanks for the detailed reply. Gotcha..."Fantasy Football" with metas and mutants.
Major props for point #5...we see eye to eye. I'll slither away and leave ya in peace. ;-) -
dreamingof the day I can't control myself."
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As long as you tone down the "better than thou" and say you're sorry to 'moose.
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Subs, best to keep those polaroids in your *private* collection! Post a link on here and you'll be smiling your way round a 1000 internet sites before the year's even out!
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Not working
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could fuck up several household name careers.And yet, I sit here about to be evicted. I'm a saintly merfer.
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Unless they've stated explicitly "No posting of pics" I can't see them banning someone who tried to do so successfully.
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In theory all you need to do is put the path to the picture after the (=) and before the (/>) But I tried...and it ain't happening...hmmmm
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that's a JettL-type confession you can believe or not."How many friends have I really got?That want meThat love meThat'll take me as I am?" - Pete Townshend
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It won't accept the
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And rightfully so.
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we'd all lose our jaws from them droppin' to the carpet.
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What with Yack and Conspiracy plotting picture posting and Subs reminiscing about publishing his naughty memoirs it's all getting a bit too hot in here...
I will bid you adieu gents... 2000 posts just around the corner (remember when we used to celebrate such trifles?) -
by the site. hmmmm....I'll figure this out. Desboobs will know how to break in...her HTML skills seem as formidable as her cup size...someone who knows her wanna ask?
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ALIEN³™®
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In case "YackBacker" goes tits-up.
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is there an alternative?Look at me typing like I know what I'm typing about.
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In case I go fucking nuts and start peeing on shit.
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™
®
pedalback³
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for you, and for your reviving The Pedalback, I'd flagrante my delicto.You'd smile, pally.At least, you would have, ten years ago.
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One iota of me would really fucking enjoy it too.
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it seems to be worked in such a way to prevent the linking of off site material. Any code other than the paragraph breaks is simply not recognized and vanishes like you wrote nothing.This will require study....
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and he hoards it. He always has. If I didn't love him, I'd hit him with my dick.
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Shit will get done. By the way, conspiracy's hip-hop avatar is The RZA. Respect.
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go to wiki and get it thats what i do...ive shared my one big secret...shun away.
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anyone want to clue us in? I know it is possible...anything is possible...for fucks sake they can break into the FUCKING pentagon...that tells me there HAS to be aa way to post pictures on AICN talkbacks.
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how many handles you got?
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the footnote thingy can be gotten on Wiki?
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I keep the two backups like canned beans in case of a nuclear war. But there's one other SN that I rarely use that's a complete cover. I used it for 2 days and got bored of it. But it's still out there...
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and your love is too vastBut I knowFrom your smile And I know from your eyesTonight will be finewill be finewill be finefor awhile." - Leonard Cohen
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...(he was an alien) or Quake® cereal (he was a macho, red-blooded American digger, as in shoveler, of shit,..."HAAAA!!!! Just like with Major Matt Mason, you and I had the same childhood, Subs....No one I have ever met remembers that....
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you ended up successful and happy while I ended up useless as Quake cereal.
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I am itching my head balder to know how you like or dislike WTWTA! A little weather wooden've kept you from [deleted] wood it've?See those fuckers tomorrow!
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Check out Hitler at 00:39! Yowzer!® http://tinyurl.com/yclmve5
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Thanks, Yack!
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My memory is disabled.
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that is why, no mavatar what, you and I will always be bros.That was NOT a pedalback on my reso.
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That just fired off neurons I thought I'd lost decades ago....WOW....
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Dec 30, 2009 8:12:32 PM CST
I remember Quake as having a helment with a light...
by cheeses_of_nazareth
It was yellow, and I sent them 4 box-tops and a dollar to get my replica...
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He's the only other Pedalbacker, I think, that would appreciate Quisp. Maybe not. Maybe 'Lop has a vague baby memory.
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Digging for what? Cereal?
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Quake's got a cowboy-ish hat.
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I believed Pete Townshend meant every word he wrote.I shooda just paid attention to his guitar.
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"...you ended up successful and happy while I ended up useless as Quake cereal."Being a victim of George Clooney Downsizing is not uselessness.And, while happy I may be...Success has always alluded me. And Yeah, I could never quit you either, Subs...
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http://tinyurl.com/ychmaok I wonder if Jerry lewis sued the living shit out of Quaker for stealing his schtick...
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with our momentary gayness, Smooches?Kobe never tasted my ass, but I bet he imagines it on his "off" moments.
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Not sure I remember him that way...
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Jebus®!I wish you'd've been one o' my bestest friends always!That was ACES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Now would be a great time to post something whack. Just to change the subject. On account of me and Cheeses getting too nostalgic.
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This rivalry is only second to the Cold War in its intensity.
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But, he's a small one...Always prancing in front of the Internet mirror, he is.....which, as you well know, adds several inches and pounds to the dickiness...(if I knew how to put a (r) on that I would....)
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It was a different time, Yackers.
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He's just holding my lack of enthusiasm for D9 against us.
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Cameron's Avatar storyline in a nutshell....Times NEVER change, Subs....Only perceptions...#*#*Gottcha!!!#*#*
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Wake upHold [my] mistake upBefore they turn the summer into dust."
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Can your pussy do the dog?
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Whether a pair of conjoined twins should be sentenced to prison/death for the crimes committed by one of the twins. Fucking blew my mind to think about that question... what's going on here? Pussy farts? I'm game.
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Cheeses, you could hold it up by its neck and spank its bottom and then drop it on the cold floor to let it crawl around, and though we might all kinda scrunch our innards so as not to be associated with what you'd done, we'd kinda acknowledge that it was okay and tell ya you could never go an iota too far with us.
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that thing I no longer post about on account of my promise.
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That I watched TPM, AOTC and ROTS the other night, films that I had loved for their visual effects in my pre-Avatar state of being, but, NOW??? I gotta tell you...they look like shit...
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AOTC loses me in the droid factory sequence- everything reeks of green-screen nonsense. ROTS was an improvement, but TPM still looms superior over them both.
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if the future plays out the way you think, what will you have left to say about [that thing I've resolved not to post about]?That's the thing about technological movie advances - they just don't seem to hold up to the passage of time, leaving you with...
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a major leap forward, at the time.StoryStoryStoryWhether you and mi amigo Sixies wanna admit it or not. [Granted, I know you guys are cheering the story of (what I shall not type about) right now, whle I don't think you will, later.]
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If I'm right, then we're on the same page re: the technology. It's all about the content- you can't substitute razzle-dazzle for legit storytelling.
If I'm wrong about what you're not talking about, then I'm a dimwit. -
That post was too full of mistakes to correct.You either knew what I meant or you didn't.
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the same page'll never know who fathered its baby.I'm dancing around reference to [James Cameron's current uselessness]. I'm really trying to avoid reference to it.
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Paid to see TPM three times at the theatre...not so much the other two...The ambition and ingenuity is there...Buuuuttttt....WHAT will George and Stephen cook up using this tech?What could Scorcecci (sp) do? Or, do you want Michael Bay to inherit the throne of virtual 3-d????
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I just fell face-first into my own toilet.He'd've gotten a kick outta that.
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isn't interested.And, if you compare Scorsese with Cameronspielbergzemeckisnyder, I'll kick you in the junk.
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are the only ones who are gonna use Cameron-D®.
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Dec 30, 2009 9:25:48 PM CST
Well, Spielberg is probably still saying "No" to digital cinema
by yackbacker
Remember that bullshit? "I'll never go digital" blah blah blah. I don't know what CRYSTAL SKULLFUCK was shot with, but who cares? It was a disaster. Bad on Spielberg more than anyone else- I don't care if Ford needed the $ to pay off his divorce lawyers, that's not our problem!
As for Lucas, the guy will keep it close to the vest until nobody gives a fuck about him anymore. THEN he will announce the STAR WARS SEXTET in 3-D and a whole new generation of kids that weren't ruined by the prequels will roll in and pay that fucker more money. He'll be 90 years old and he'll be surrounded by Montréal strippers when he dies.
You know what this decade taught me? There's no such thing as a sure thing in movies. I thought GODFATHER III was an isolated incident from 1990. No, Coppola was a sign, like some stars aligned to announce the birth of baby Jesus. And that little Jesus is impotent filmmaking. -
I should resolve to no longer post about any Cameron-related fuck-what.
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Not "sextet"- fuck does that sound dumb either way...
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"Impotent film-making."It's not by accident.It's by design.Commerce FACKS® everything!
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Just a little tickle? You can watch. I promise not to blow his mind.
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IN MY CONSIDERABLY HUMBLE OPINION, the storyline of Avatar is PURE DISNEY....And guess what....????It is enthralling audiences. If you ever enjoyed Pocahantus or Dances with Wolves and ever wondered why the oppressed minority didn't win thru SHEER bravery...Well, that all gets rectified in Avatar. And it seems to be a crowd pleaser...Sorry if I think that that is good for America...as well as the world...
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Let's do something differently.
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And jaws was an accident----a fucking glorious accident. Granted the story was there but who knows what wpuldbe been had Bruce worked. I think there wouldve been more money shots and less talking. it wouldve resembled the book---pulpy and schlocky.
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KKB! KKB!
(King Kong Bundy) -
I won't.
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Commerce is a necessary evil- greed and/or boredom without any point behind it is the kiss od death.
Commerce helped George Lucas make enough money off of merchandising the original SW to pay for EMPIRE on his own- right on, Georgie. But once the story was finished after JEDI, he had this property that was losing value with each passing day and this frog-necked cunt said "I need to make three more movies to pay for my life until I die"- not a bad tradeoff for him- several years of "work" so he could retire and make those delicious "small, experimental films" that will never happen. Awesome. -
Nobody gives me credit for it.
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Scorsese once was in talks to direct LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS and wanted to make it in 3-D.
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Crap, by most estimations? Oh, but Cameron is different because...
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So, what?
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Is that nobody really had any emotional investment in MANCATS: THE 3-D MEOWVIE. Not anywhere near the emotional retardation that surrounded the prequels. Plus, George really had to work to fuck up those movies, and by golly he found a way. Cameron did nothing out-of-the-box with AVATAR, he simply took a very well-worn plot, created 2-dimensional characters and spent 90% of his time on blades of grass. Fault Lucas as I may, it took some brass ones to conjure Jar Jar and this shit about midichlorians. BALLS.
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we'll talk.
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I'd so pleasure your nerve endings right now, it isn't even funny!
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Dec 30, 2009 9:47:27 PM CST
Imagine if you swapped out Jar Jar for Neytiri in the prequels
by yackbacker
Imagine some blue warrior chick working with Obi Wan and Anakin, maybe a little sexual tension for Obi too. Imagine a fucking CG character that had something to DO for crissake. Cameron did get the humanization of CG characters right, he unfortunately forgot how to get the actual humans to work.
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but the avatar story, though a little derivative, IS good. if this was just some empty corporate film full of ONLY sound and fury, we'd be dismissing it like TF2. as stated before, there are WHOLE scenes played quietly so you can enjoy the surroundings and "feel" the visuals and understand the world you've entered...anyone can make a boom boom film that can have a big opening (and be forgotten about), cameron is one of the few who can make an entertaining epic..twice now...thees something more in avatar...yer right it didnt change my outlook on war, but neither did HURT LOCKER. the point is he was charged with making an entertaining film and he always succeeds in my book.
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I just cummed all over Yackies sculpted pecs!
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it isn't "quiet" that hardens my penis. There is soooooo-much more that defines an involving story.
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Derivative storytelling isn't a bad thing- mythology is all about repeating old tales in new forms. AVATAR doesn't suffer because the story is an old one.
The movie loses me because the way Cameron tells the story so boring- there's no tension for me in this film. Zilch!® And it's not because I know how the movie will end (which we all did) but because there's no counterpoint to the story beats. The good guys are completely good. The bad guys are 100% evil. That's all folks. I don't embrace that storytelling. I actually reject it for the laziness it represents. -
Lucas recognized fundamentals...One person can form an empire ....with the right franchise...
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I'll grab the towel.
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the fact that HURT LOCKER didn't change the way Americans looked at Our Troops® is its major weakness. Because it tried. Have a character tell its infant that it doesn't love it or its momma as much as war stuff, but let EVERYONE ignore it, and then tell me you made a perfect movie.
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What would fanboys be saying about Lucas today if he never made the prequels? I think there would be a different kind of backlash against the dude now- especially after a movie like AVATAR. I could see it now "Lucas has NO FUCKING EXCUSE! I want my fucking prequels!" Man, if I could slide into that dimension right now, I'd be all over them with tales of ATTACK OF THE MANNEQUINS.
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We don't need it.I swallow.Don't tell nobody.
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We're a country still trying to reconcile it's role in the world. And we'll never get there, no matter what one movie or 100 movies tells us. I think the war context for LOCKER is obviously its major theme, but you could compare that main character to say... Bob De Niro's character in HEAT and you see the same type of dude- a man who is trapped by his own passion for danger, which leads ultimately to his being lonely and possibly dead. It's a compelling character. Mann's THIEF is another great character study in that vein.
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Is RAMBO a better movie than THE HURT LOCKER?
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There is a place for 3-D. I have a friend who is kind of a 3-D expert and she can give you damn good explanation of how 3-D can be used artistically. Just like how depth of field and location on the screen are artistic choices, someone can make how "deep" or "shallow" we are into a scene a dramatic component.
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And the other does not. You do that math.
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will come thru on the promise he made to me in 1977.…He said that he had 3 sets of trilogies to tell. Then, he said, “No,” and let that Jeffery Zahn guy write all of future Star Wars. After seeing Avatar, Lucas got a creative hard on…There will be another Trilogy…
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FACK®Our's is a country that assumes. It no longer reconciles.That's the problem.
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I'd like talking to your friend, but if she starting pimping 3-D, in any way, I'd tell her to take a walk in any park.
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Then you have a prob with star wars films too cause out of the entire universe two characters have moral ambiguity--Han and lando. and Idont see the characters shadings as an oversight. All those mercs are there for the cash and the fight and feel themselves superior to those blue monkeys. The shades of grey are in the scientists and a handful of the corporate guys. Upon rewatching it I would argue that one character has a change of heart midway.as for the navi there are a few who are cynical and can be seen as antagonistic to jakesully.
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It has been used artistically in a few standout ways, but the vast majority of movies with this tech have not been made better by its use. I would say the same could be said of 3-D in the coming years. I'm not against its use at all, I just don't think the sensation is enough to correct a movie's shortcomings. Either a story and acting are good or they're not. Otherwise, people would be lining up to see CGI FX reels about absolutely nothing... wait, I did see those prequels multiple times in the theaters. Fuck.
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but there are no longer any Kurosawas or Fellinis to make it mean anything.All we got is a bunch of juvenile wankers like Cameron.
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The character with the central moral struggle in the original stories. That's why the original trilogy worked on a higher level- you had the main villain become a complex, conflicted character by the end of the second movie. The whole series gained a much more compelling amount of depth in that moment when Vader says "I am your father." AVATAR is on a "Saturday afternoon cartoon" level of character work in my opinion. But beyond the characters, there's nothing in the story that made me go "oooh" or "wow, that's interesting." Not one thing at all.
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by "juvenile wanker" I mean those that are concerned with comic-book and fantasy bullsh®. There are other things to be interested in, you know.
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yeah, that's all well and good, but the second he shows up on some red dragon, they all line up to blow him. It's silly. It's simplistic. Nobody stands out as a free-thinking individual in that sequence. And Neytiri only passes muster because Saldana is such a great actress. She is exactly what Lucas needed for the prequels, which he had for the originals- earnest, emotionally honest acting a la Fisher, Hamill & Ford.
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You got so much gack on your abs, right now, Yack you gotta shower.Can we be BFFs?
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I know quiet doesn't make a good film but when it's in an action blockbuster epic it's surprising.first blood didn't do shit for the vets. It's sequel and it's jingoisms did--guess who wrote it.
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The tech will get cheaper, faster...Three walled 3-d will be my dughter's generation's color TV....Almost holograghy....Not quite what I expected...
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Don't think about it too deeply...
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Tell me a story in a way that makes me think differently than I did before. Cameron will never do that. Because he can't. He's a jack-tard.
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Dec 30, 2009 10:27:17 PM CST
JettL93 wrote the FIRST BLOOD sequels if I'm not mistaken
by yackbacker
He was babysitting his future girlfriend, Jennifer Connelly at the time.
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darth vader really didnt do any soul searching until jedi...barely..and thats cause lucas needed a neat ending...only until afterwards did he realize that his trilogies were gonna be about anakin...did we get the full effect of a "tragedy" and moral ambiguity...which was kinda dealt with ham-handedly..it wasnt like lil ani was damien or anything..one day he was good..the next hes killing kids...fuck cameron for making me bash star wars...***shotgun blast***
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Tell Teddy I think he was right all along about that voice.
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It is the cost of it which makes it only available for blockbusters, just like CG. Because of that both are associated with spectacle and the lowest common denominator. It is an element like nudity and violence; in the hands of a good filmmaker it can serve the film, otherwise it is just exploitive.
Remember, Hitchcock used 3-D for Dial M for Murder for a murder scene, but so did My Bloody Valentine 3-D. -
yeah when he rode the red dragon they bowed to him cause that was like the biggest threat tho them and only a few were "man" enough to capture and bond with the beast...he had the sack so they had to follow him..i viewed them as civilized klingons or native americans (which i think they were based on if imy not mistaken..lemme check with JettL's script revisions) they basically had a code or way of life and to break that code would be dishonor to them and their family from the clan..they would be shunned.
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"spectacle and the lowest common denominator"
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we only go back to JAWS after 10...
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Take it back, take it back this instant. NO WAY on God's green Earth would a pussy like JettL get anywhere near Jennifer Connelly. Roseanne Barr....maybe!
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Can we have a threesome, Yackers?
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would you say that avatar is your everyday run of the mill spectacle LCD popcorn flick?
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Dec 30, 2009 10:36:10 PM CST
Sixies, I agree- the REAL SW Trilogy wasn't about Anakin/Vader
by yackbacker
The dude who "brings balance to the Force" (a theme not ever a part of the real movies, but whatever) is Luke. Luke is not a complex character in the post-modern sense- he is a kid int he first movie, who takes on the responsibilities of a man in the second (and gets "cut" by his pop) and finally becomes a man in full by the third film, sacrificing himself to save the galaxy. Luke is a great hero and Lucas gave the character interesting hoops to jump through. There was dramatic tension to his story, even in the first film- his sense of frustration with his Aunt & Uncle, his grief over their deaths, his much more profound grief over the loss of his mentor of two space cycles Obi, and his sense of wonder at entering a larger universe with spaceships and battles against an overpowering foe. SW is not a complex story, but it is one that makes its own mark on the mythology of the Hero's Journey. Avatar feels like a cover of a better song done years ago. The lyrics are there, but there's no gusto, no emotional spark. It's just a well-produced version missing a soul.
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That fits in with this Cameron discussion, nice!
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Run of the mill, or not, does it end up anywhere else but back where any blockbuster would've left you? Think about it without those cock-stroking visuals.
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Giant fukken head in giant fukken 3D
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It wasn't in your face- it was very low-key but it added texture to the film's setting. That's not a blockbuster either- just proves what tasteful uses of a technology can offer in the hands of a confident, skilled filmmaker not obsessed with Box office receipts and merchandising tie-ins.
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dont get me wrong i love star wars...but i think that lucas came across that hero's journey bullshit after the fact...love the guy...made a good franchise..but i think hes full of shit..would you be as forgiving to avatar if cameron came out before its release and said this is where i got my mythology from?if SW's mythology is centuries (or more) old, whats another 30 years for cam's?
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I'm not slamming Cameron for using the mythology- never have. What I'm critical of is his lack of imagination in rolling out this story. He played to so straight, I actually was bored watching the movie. Bored! It's the difference between ERAGON and STAR WARS- both are the same movies plot-wise (almost to a tee) but one has tension/thrills and the other is just a paint-by-numbers effort. A story need not be complex to be good, but the method in which it is told makes all the difference.
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Lucas and Cameron are working with exactly the same mythology> I don't give an iota of shit, but there is no FACKING way you think the impact of [that which I do not post about] is comparable to the impact of STAR WARS.Really?Come DEFUCK on!
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I wanted to fuck that dragon so bad- Rachael Weisz is my kryptonite.
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but run of the mill blockbuster AVATAR is not...if the studios really wanted to fast track this film and pressure cams into making it, we wouldve seen it in 2000. but the man made a passionate and well crafted film which happens to be BIG BIG BIG...thats how he makes them...when i think of souless studio films, im thinking GI JOE, TF2, shit even INDY 4. avatar on the other hand was the work of cameron (borrowing from others) and his prints are all over it.
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http://tinyurl.com/crprg6
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you wanna fuck a lot of things.
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bored really?
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Everything that happened to Luke, also happened to Annakin …Hand cut off, losing temper, etc….Annakin just embraced the Emperor/Dark Lord of the Sith’s influence in the pre-quels…Little Annie even blows up a proto-type Deathstar…It is important…
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I've heard absolutely ZILCH!® that makes me think differently.
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that he did on the visuals and tech, I'd be with you. He's a better storyteller than what he showed me in AVATAR. I admit, I'm not a fan of his movies in general, but I've been rarely bored by his stuff, except for 50% of T2. That's a movie who's appeal I'll never udnerstand.
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some are complaining about the generic script so thats was i mentioned the mythology..and if you think about it they do have the same kinda stories..with a hint of MATRIX.boy ventures into unknown and ends up becoming the savior of catkind after battling his daddy issues.
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The story is important in a foundational sense, but the storyteller's execution is what makes the difference. Luke's character arc was 1,000 times better than Anakins and it comes down to the acting/script and direction involved. The story isn't the problem with AVATAR, it's the other stuff I mention.
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I know a couple of [deleted] fans who aren't that simple (I think), but that about defines it, mathematically. Technology doesn't tell a story. Script does.
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Dec 30, 2009 10:55:41 PM CST
Can we call Episodes I-III "the pree-kewls" moving forward?
by yackbacker
I think they deserve as much derision as we can muster.
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it aint the greatest storyteller but he gets the job done...and for all that complain about his dialogue and cant for the life of me remember any groaners...in fact there were actual subtleties that a i pointed out that i liked..perhaps improved by the actors..who knows?basically if you think about it...this film is the modern ten commandments...and i'll be watching AVATAR every passover from now on.
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I don't think AVATAR is a shit film. I think it's a boring movie in parts and a disappointment given the amount of man hrs put into it. But LOST IN SPACE (1998) this is not- just not LAWRENCE OF ARABIA IN SPACE (IN 3-D) either.
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to be continued...good chatting with yasits beena while since we've had a balls-out discussion...im a little rusty.
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It was an excellent time.
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NO ONE will be turning to [you know] like they turn to Charlton Heston movies, which, god-damn, shouldn't be your point of comparison. Movies sucked then. We've advanced. They shouldn't, therefore, suck now.
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I'm down with that... Conveniently,
I am already circumcised.... -
I'm down with that... Conveniently,
I am already circumcised.... -
Jebus®! Peeps keep under-estimating The Pedalback. FACK® you guys.Not really. You know I love you all.
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Old-man strong, like if you shook R. Lee Ermey's hand and feel those old fingers squeeze you good and tight until you winced in submission. That's what The Pedalback is like.
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My vote is when this person was hired: http://tinyurl.com/yzuvr8n Ugh, I wanna throw up.
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Don't ever under-estimate what your return has meant to The Pedalback's future.I'm not hand-cuffing you to anything.I'm just nodding my head, ala gratefulness.Same way I like to say "Hey" to all the others that have made The Pedalback the only game in town.
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Kirsten did more damage than that scrawny kid from "That 70s Show"?
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I haven't seen AVATAR. All my friends are insisting I see it. Whenever someone insist I do something I usually say "fuck no."
That is what I say to the IRS ever year when they insist I pay my taxes... -
My loyalty to The Pedalback is true.
As for Spidey, don't get me wrong, Topher Grance is/was a cunt the second he was born, but Dunst never worked for me- nor did the constant sit-downs between her and Tobey about LOVE and shit. Fuck, more screentime was spent showing Parker on the verge of tears than Spidey fighting bad dudes. Think about that shit for one moment- what the hell did Raimi release on us? Grace was the final insult. -
"May You Never"for lost Pedalbackers"may you never make your bed out in the cold"
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Why wait?
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piss me off like either Mrs. Tom Cruise or Jake's sister.
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I'm all sentimental right noe.Saki, I love you forever. I am weaker after you've died.
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Are you fucking kidding me?
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That's good work, brother. I'm turning in for the night. Happy New Year if I don't catch up with you sooner.
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Spiderman was fucked the moment the script for the 1st one was green lighted. I'm not saying the first one was bad, but it lays the foundation for all that goes wrong in the series. It is like building a beautiful beach house on an eroding cliffside; I could see that sooner or later it was going to collapse.
Amongst the problems in the script were:
Giving him organic webshooters (which rob Peter of a visual demonstration of his intellect; if you're gonna have him produce the web fluid organically, at least have him build the mechanism that shoots them)
Having him sew a $300,00 latex costume on his Aunt May's machine.
Having him fly through high school and then enter college, limiting Flash Thompson's role in his life.
Having Harry Osborn, scion of a multi-millionaire, go to his public school instead of meeting in college.
Having the Green Goblin as the villain in the first movie under the misconception he is his arch-enemy (no he is his worst enemy, not his arch; if he was his arch they wouldn't have killed him off in issue 122).
And finally, butcher the most important storyline in Spidey's history, The Death of Gwen Stacy, by cribbing elements from it and having the Goblin's death in this film.
The script for the first Spider-Man was the seed of the series demise. -
Dec 31, 2009 12:04:34 AM CST
"I wish that I could really tell you all the things that happene
by subtitles_off
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their hearts full of joyCities of light with no fear of war,
And thousands of creatures with happier lives,
And dreams of a future with meaning and no need to hide."
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I might skip it now just to spite you :)
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or was it he or she"
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what he's waiting for, I don't know"
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I just can't take another day"
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since i held anybodysince i loved anyone"
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Dec 31, 2009 12:30:41 AM CST
"there's an old rock-n-roller, he's got nowhere to to go"
by subtitles_off
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Dec 31, 2009 12:43:53 AM CST
"those guys that got caught with their hands in the till
by subtitles_off
got nothin' do to do with me, man"
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You lose someYou only got two choicesSo you take one."
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the rich get richer, and the poor get sore"
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Dec 31, 2009 12:57:29 AM CST
"I tip the angry actress with pocketfuls of shrunken heads"
by subtitles_off
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except in the places it ought to be"
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I ain't proud of what I did."
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and the distance in your eyes says it all"
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Ah well.
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I'd say Capone is Lil'Jon. He has cover everything. Herc is Mos Def, just kind of mumbles and sometimes has cool stuff but most of it is crap and he just does his own thing. Beeks is Akon, just kind of liar. Too bad none of them are DMX.
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yeah i always liked your 6 film story arc for spidey...
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Hospitalized, but.A hopeful nation has all of its fingers crossed.
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We've still got the better part of the day left. I hope he goes right as the ball drops.
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It's not like they didn't have dozens of great stories to choose from. How could they not not fuck that up?!
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and then the hospital room blows up and a chunk of it squashes Laura Ingraham's car.
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I fucking kind of hate the character. But I was surprised at how a lot of the first part of Spidey 1 had shots right out of the first issue. And as much as Tubes annoys me as Spidey, I think that makes him perfect for the part. He's like a whiny bitch with super powers who just can't handle it.
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I don't think Spidey's supposed to be a whiny bitch, is he? He's the superhero with all the wisecracks. That's why he and Deadpool wear masks that cover their expressions - to hide their big-ass smirks.
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If Carson cuts in right in the middle of the count down and says. Ladies and Gentlemen we've had a last minute new years miricle. Both Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh have died, in each others hands, in a gay VERY GAY embrace. Yeah too bad no one in TV has the fucking balls to say that. Also sad that if those two go, what would you say, 2-6 months they are replaced by just another fucking asshole. Anyone reading Under The Dome, Rennie's gotta be based on Limbaugh.
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I think he's like a fucking talkbacker. Like he throws out wisecracks because he knows his really just a big pussy. Deadpool is the man though.
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Spidey is just sort of a prick. While Deadpool is John MaClane.
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A self-obsessed, whiny, woe-is-me guy who always plays the victim. But that is why I like him. He is the teenager writ large, where every personal problem is a dilemma of monstrous proportions. It fit how I was feelig as a kid, and as an adult I see it as a damn good superhero soap opera.
My only complaint is that why does every hero have to act like him, especially the DC heroes? Just look at TKD and Superman Returns; that was just DCs two biggest icons acting like Peter Parker. I'm not a huge Frank Miller fan, but Year 1 got it right when it had the dilemma of that comic be just about him learning to be Batman. No personal problems or relationship difficulties, but just him learning the ropes. BB & TDK gives us all these "problems" under the delusion that makes it more realistic and sophisticated.
Well I can't get that upset at Nolan. The thing made over a billion. Nolan I guess knew the same thing that Stan Lee knew: guys in costume acting out scenes from soap operas sell. -
Just had me some bagels
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http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/ (Tiny'd: http://tinyurl.com/9z5d3w ) - Full fanfic here.
This ought to whet, or ruin, your appetite.
Chapter 1.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
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Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!
“What’s up Draco?” I asked.
“Nothing.” he said shyly.
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.
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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!
Chapter 2.
AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!
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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.
My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)
“OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!” she said excitedly.
“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.
“Do you like Draco?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.
“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.
“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.
“Hi.” he said.
“Hi.” I replied flirtily.
“Guess what.” he said.
“What?” I asked.
“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.
“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.
“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.
I gasped.
Chapter 3.
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.
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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.
I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).
“Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice.
“Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.
“You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).
“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.
Suddenly Draco looked sad.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.
“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.
“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.
“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!
Chapter 4.
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!
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“DRACO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”
Draco didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.
“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.
“Ebony?” he asked.
“What?” I snapped.
Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.
And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”
It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!
Chapter 5.
AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!
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Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.
I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.
“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.
“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor McGonagall.
“How dare you?” demanded Professor Snape.
And then Draco shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”
Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”
Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.
“Are you okay, Ebony?” Draco asked me gently.
“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….
Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.
Chapter 6.
AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!
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The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.
In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.
“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.
“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.
“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.
“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.
“Why?” I exclaimed.
“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.
“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.
“Really?” he whimpered.
“Yeah.” I roared.
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.
Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life
AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!
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Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………
We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)
“Oh Draco, Draco!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!
I was so angry.
“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.
“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.
“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”
I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.
“VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.
Chapter 8.
AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!
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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.
“Ebony, it’s not what you think!” Draco screamed sadly.
My friend B’loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )
“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.
“Vampire, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Draco!” I shouted at him.
Everyone gasped.
I don’t know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)
“But I’m not going out with Draco anymore!” said Vampire.
“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.
Chapter 9.
AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!
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I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.
Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Voldemort!
“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.
“Crookshanks!” I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.
“Ebony.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire Potter!”
I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?
“No, Voldemort!” I shouted back.
Voldemort gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.
“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!”
“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.
Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.
I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.
“Draco!” I said. “Hi!”
“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“No.” he answered.
“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.
“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.
Chapter 10.
AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b’loody mary isn’t a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!
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I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B’loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.
We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.
“Ebony! Are you OK?” B’loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.
“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don’t kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!” I burst into tears.
Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.
“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)
I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.
We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.
“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”
/END.
If you'd like to continue, copy and paste the link at the very top of this post. Sorry, if this was too terrible for your tastes. I like to appreciate the more terrible things in life, and I love to share them with others, but if you just want to close your eyes when scrolling past this cuntbomination, I understand. -
I'll be very scarce today, but in case I don't see you pedelbackers later, I just wanted to wish you all a Happy Fist Year. Be professional tonight and don't trash anyone's lights, ya dig?
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December 30th, 2009 - ®ise of The Baleback: Episode Seven - The Professional's ®evengeCaptain America makes Batman cry? Batman has cried only twice. Once was when he held the burnt, unresurrected corpse of Jason Todd in his manly uncrying arms. Then, to this day he's ashamed to admit it, he teared up an iota when Superman ripped the head offa his teddy bear.Japan in a twisted, creepy, too-chunky-for-that-speedo™ nutshell. And, if that weren't enough for ya - U.K. Man Baby!'Lop does what he was born to do. Analyze, itemize, turn off the lights, and lock the door. When the sayers say nay, you school 'em.Cobra--Kai heard JettL's confession. But, JettL back-pedaled. "Stick to it" does not exist in this dojo. GEORGE AND THE DRAGON. '84-era CGI plus Patrick Swayze's '004 cosmetic surgery equals gotta live-blog it.DAYMAN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Stephen Hawking's ®obot voice.savagedave brings gay muppets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQoJvgnSj5M Subtitles takes a vow. How long do you think that will last? Answer: 4 minutes.Flickapoo asks a question and is ignored for long while.diarrhea gets new nickname and finally answers Flickapoo's question.Sixies proves his unworthiness for postal delivery by letting a little weather keep him from seeing WTWTA. He ranks INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS about-a JACKIE BROWN. He mentions PULP FICTION and makes Subtitles cry.Teddy damns Tinyurl® all to hell.poo_splatter, The Artist Formerly Known As diarrhea, and I throw a poetry / scat jam. Um, throwing scat but not like that. Runny feces. Telekinesis? Spillin' words to make you swoon. But we ain't a pair o' mad baboons.Pour a little on the ground in honor of The Vladback, bitches!Yackers discovers The Origin of Cereal. Vegetarians soaked theirs overnight. Pedalbackers' fave cereals. "Mikey likes it." Picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms. There are not 1,000 chips in every bag of Chips Ahoy, and Yacks knows somebody who can prove it! Honey Bunches of Professionals®. poo_splatter creates a new cereal - cap'n cam'rons®. Yackers links a couple of old television cereal commercials and makes Subtitles cry.Where DEFUCK® is Stabby?Tim Robbins' marriage to Susan Sarandon is fucking dead.keyboard shenanigans™ Unsexy Harry Potter fan fic.Ricky Henderson ain't no noob, and now you know!Series votes for PULP FICTION as Best Tarantino.Pedalbackers as Ol' Skool Rappers. Aiiiight? Cobra__Kai sings some Digital Underground."You fucking poser," I muttoned.Somebody hollas in respect to DICKBLOOD and makes Subtitles cry.poo_splatter has hung all day-long. That hasn't happened in a long, long time. New Year's Miracle. God is in heaven and all is right with the world™. There are ETs in EPISODE ONE. Technically, they're all extra-terrestrials, ain't they? These, specifically, are the phoning-home variety.Teddy nearly GRINS and makes Subtitles cry. Then, he, Sixies and I sing Suicidal Tendencies' "Institutionalized." "All I wanted was a fucking Pepsi! Just one Pepsi! And SHE wouldn't give it to me!" Also, a movie quote. Of course, I have to have it explained to me. Meanwhile, poo_splatter eats a pizza, and we snack on fajitas and sloppy joes.Yack brags that his OS is longer, thicker and delivers more pleasure.Cobra compares The Pedalback to (Jefferson)Starship and makes Subtitles cry.We can put a man on a blue moon, but we can't insert photos into a Talkback! Apply some of your game-changing wizadry to that, Cameron. Do something useful!conspiracy pops a squat. When Yackers visits The Pedalback, he brings all his friends with him. Sweet!BurnHollywood surrenders to 'Lop's treatise.Yackbacker has secret identities. Like any superhero. Just in case. Now they ain't secret no more, so he better get some new ones.Cheeses calls Subtitles stupid and makes him cry.A bunch of typing around that thing I vowed to no longer type about. Yackers, Cheeses, Sixies, 3-D, Spielberg, Lucas, 'Lop, good times. Balls-out®. The drunker Subtitles gets, the mouthier. It's a wonder they still let him in this joint.Teddy was right all along about Kate Bush's beautiful voice.Liberal_Warrior scares us all with "Helena Bonhams Giant fukken head in giant fukken 3D" and makes Subtitles cry.Yack mentions the Spider-man movies. 'Lop is all over that. Subtitles spins "Abacab" and cries. Weepy old bitch.And now...
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That was hilarious!
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Happy Blue Moon.
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Last chance to make something good out of this very fucked year...Or, we could just sit here and type at each other all day, and then go out drinking...That sounds like a better plan...
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I say Pulitzer.
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Publish that and change literature forever, Cameron-style.
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but you know what I'll be doing all day.
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Punk-rock guitarist of The Birthday Party
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...damn......but considering I only put in about five minutes work...I'll take it gladly.
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http://tinyurl.com/ydqb45e
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http://tinyurl.com/yefm75a
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For visiting a web site ONCE?
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Did he call in and ask off for a couple days, and I just don't remember?
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And now he doesn't want to leave...
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He's one of the few Mutants who just fucking accepts who he is. Con I don't know how familar you are with him since he's really a 90's character. Probably the only successful character since the 70s.
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First off football teams are made up or murders/rapist/dog killers/idiots/douchebags. So you aren't talking about the model citizen platform to begin with. Secondly, Rock and Roll Part 2. That song is played no less then 5 times during ANY SPORTING event throughout America, including all minor leagues. How much money a year do you think Gary Glitter makes off that shit?
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Michael Jackson played The Super Bowl surrounded by children.
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And played the Superbowl halftime…would they put a lock on his zipper?
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Jebus®. Series, D9 is your favorite, but would you call it "important?"
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Nobody wants to see a 60-year-old's wang on the Jumbotron®.
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I think it is in the sense that it shows studios can take a chance (even though its not a studio film) on a nobody with a decent budget. Rather then saving all those 30 million dollars for crap like Alvin and the chipmunks and I Love You Beth Cooper movies. Which are all safe bets and some are gonna hit pay dirt and some won't. That sometimes not always playing it safe can be good. Also its a return to the fucking R rated film. A film that IS FUCKING R RATED. Not a stylzed crap that we've been seeing, or too cross cutty with editing you've got no idea if its really violent or not. Plus its an R movie you could probably take a smart kid to. Because it not like they THREW shit in the movie TO MAKE IT R, its R because it has to be.
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Look at Eberts pick of the deacade. Fucking Crash/Juno/Me You And Everyone We Know/Monster/Syndenochye NY? WOW I thought Ebert liked movies.
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"You ludacris (sic) fools," he muttoned.
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It was……………………… ………………………… ….Dumbledore!
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Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Fighter of the Night Man! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHaaaaaaahhhhhh! Champion of the Sun!
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Happy Blue Moon to you. 'dave and I are sharing a laugh over Harry Potter / Vampire fan fiction. Series thinks Ebert's lost his mind. Cheeses is around here somewhere. Sixies is double featuring it, I think. Stabby is still missing.You're caught up.
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I need you guys to help me look busy for the next five hours or so. Pretend to be important businessmen or something.
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and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.
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Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.”I gasped.
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“Yeah.” I roared.
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Some of us might have blown our wads over the last couple of days.But, there's plenty of reading material above, if you get bored.
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I'm off to consume alcohol, as it's evening time here.
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Which would make it the only Harry Potter I've ever read. Which I feel would be very appropriate.
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Maybe you can't help it. But you've got to strive to achieve above-average dunce-ness. Else, what's the poit?
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Blue Moon to you, too.
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Dec 31, 2009 2:09:42 PM CST
I don’t need a fancy reason, like evening, to drink…
by cheeses_of_nazareth
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Only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.
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Except for JUNO, MINORITY REPORT, and WAKING LIFE. Those three are worthless, according to me.
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Because you guys have taken a liking (hating) to it, I'll post more...
BEGIN/
Chapter 11.
AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!
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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.
“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.
“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. “Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…
Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.
“What do you know, Hargrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”
“This cannot be.” Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”
“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.
Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.
“Why are you doing this?” Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.
“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.
“Because you’re goffic?” Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.
“Because I LOVE HER!”
Chapter 12.
AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn’t really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!
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I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.
“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.
I stopped. “How did u know?”
“I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!”
“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.
“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”
Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.
Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.
“Enoby I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.
“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.
“No Enoby.” Hargrid says. “Those are not roses.”
“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.
“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.
“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.
He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! .
“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.
“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!”
And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.
“OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?”
Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.
“U c, Enobby,” Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”
“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back.
Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!”
Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.
“You look kawai, girl.” B’loody Mary said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.
“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.
We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.
“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.
“Vampire you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.
Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.
“NO!” I ran up closer.
“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.
“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”
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SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111
HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I
Chapter 13.
AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!
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Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.
“Dumbledore Dumblydore!” we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.
“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.
“Volsemort has Draco!” we shouted at the same time.
He laughed in an evil voice.
“No! Don’t! We need to save Draco!” we begged.
“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then he walked away. Vampire started crying. “My Draco!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)
“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.
“What?” I asked him.
“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Voldemprt’s lair!
We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!”
It was……………………………….. Voldemort!
Chapter 14.
AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!
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WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.
We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn’t there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.
“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)
“Huh?” I asked.
”Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.
“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.
“Snaketail what art thou doing?” called Voldemort. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.
“What’s wrong honey?” asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.
“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B’loody Mary, because she’s not ugly or anything.”
“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Draco.
“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he’s in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory enoby isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.
Chapter 15.
AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!
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“Ebony Ebony!” shouted Draco sadly. “No, please, come back!”
But I was too mad.
“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.
I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!
“Enoby I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .
“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.
Chapter 16.
AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!
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We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!
“Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”
“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.
“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.
“We won’t do that again.” Draco promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”
“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?”
“NO.” he muttered loudly.
“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.
“Enoby! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.
I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!
“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.
B’loody Mary was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)
“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.
Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Willow will die too.” I said.
“Kawai.” B’loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”
“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.
“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”
B’Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”
“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.
“No.” My head snaped up.
‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody Mary are u a PREP?”
“NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that’s all.”
“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.
“Dumblydore.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.”
“OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?” I asked quietly.
“Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”
We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.”
“Da real goffs?” Me and B’Loody Mary asked.
“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”
“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.
“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.
“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody Mary.
“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.
“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s ebondy dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?”
“Tom Rid.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”
“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!”
Chapter 17.
AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn’t rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!
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Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. “WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.
“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.
“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Willow’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.
“So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?” she asked.
“Yah.” I said happily.
“I’m gong with Diabolo.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B’loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.
Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was…….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!
“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Draco!”
“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.
Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…………………………………DUMBLYDORE!
Chapter 18.
AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!
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I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.
(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)
Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.
“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to B’loody Mary and Willow. B’loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.
“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.
“……………….DUMBLEDORE?1!” we all gasped.
“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!”
“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”
Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.
“BTW you can call me Albert.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.
“What a fucking poser!” Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything. “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Willow shouted.
I was so fucking angry.
Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise
AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11
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All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.
Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.
I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).
“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)
“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.
“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.
“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.
“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.
But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.
Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.
“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da gurl’s room?”
Only it wasn’t just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.
“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”
“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.
“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Draco has a surprise for u.”
Chapter 20.
AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.
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All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.
“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! “R u gonna cum rape me or what.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.
“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.
“Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.
“Fuker.” He said, gong away.
Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1
“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)
“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)
“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Lumpkin shouted angrily.
“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.
“You dimwit!.” Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.
“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”
“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!” I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.
“WTF where’d Draco?” I asked him.
“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Vampire said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”
Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said ‘ENOBY’ on it.
……….I gasped.
We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.
Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.
I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Helena’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner.
/END -
God Damn I hate it when my roommate says that to me when I'm trying to get drunk at noon. It's my fucking day off, lemme alone!
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you-know-what but I was too mad to care.
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I had enough of that last night to keep me for a week.
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Continuing the retarded, gothic soap opera that is My Immortal...
BEGIN/
Chapter 21.
AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!
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Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. “Draco are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.
“No I’m not u fuking bitch!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.
“Its ok Enoby.” said Vampire comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”
“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.
“Draco please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)
And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.
“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.
“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Mr. Norris.
“No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!” Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.
“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. “Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!” he asked. Filth nodded. And then……………………….Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1
“WHAT DA-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.
“Draco!” I cried. “R u okay?”
“I guess though.” Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1
Chapter 22.
AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven’s folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1
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All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.
Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!
I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B’loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle’s dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.
“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”
“Enoby something is really fucked up.” Draco said.
“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.
“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Draco said in a sexy voice.
“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”
“I will I will.” he said.
So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.
“THIS CANNOT BE!” she shouted angrily. “THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!”
“THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!” yelled Cornelia Fudge.
“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Rumbridge. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”
“Very well.” Dumbledore said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…………………………………………………………………..Enony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.”
Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B’loody Mary looked at each other………I gasped.
Chapter 23.
AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!
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The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.
“MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.
“Oops she made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “She means hi everybody cum in!”
Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B’loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.
“Vampire, Draco WTF?” I asked.
“You fucking bustard!” yelled Draco at Vampire. “I want to shit next to her!1”
“No I do!” shouted.
“No she doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Draco.
“No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!” shouted Vampire. And then……………… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.
Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden…… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….Volzemort!
“Eboby…..Ebony…….” Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!”
“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.
“No!” he laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he flew away cackling.
I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.
“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.
“Ebony Ebony aure you alright?” asked Draco in a worried voice.
“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.
“Everyfing’s all right Enoby.” said Vampire all sensetive.
“No its not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”
“Its ok gurl.” said B’loody Mary. “Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though.”
“Ok bich.” I said sadly and den we went.
Chapter 24.
AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!
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Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.
“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She’s da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She’s also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b’loody mry get along grate) She’s really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.
“What is it Ebony?” she asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”
“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”
“Ho about now?” she asked.
“OK.” I said.
“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. “Except for you Britney.” she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3.”
“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Draco gong 2 die.
Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.
“What do you c?” she asked.
“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.
“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Sinister.
“Bye bitch.” I said waving.
I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.
Chapter 25.
AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1
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I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco’s black car.
“Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say.” whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.
“She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.
“And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.” sang Gerard’s sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.
“OMFG Draco Draco!” I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.
“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.
“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.
“Ebony what’s wrong?” Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.
I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Lucian and Serious!111
Chapter 26.
AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11
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A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.
“Hi Vampire.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.
“Oh fuck it!” Vampire shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”
“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor.”
We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.
“Sire are dads have been shot!” Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Enoby had a vision in a dreem.”
Dubleodre started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony’s not divisional?”
I glared at Dumbledore.
“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter). “U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!”
“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”
I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Longdon.” I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other’s gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers……………………….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1
Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u
AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111
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Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.
“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”
I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.
I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly. She peered into da balls. “You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had. “When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”
“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.
“What fucking happened?” asked Draco and Vampire.
“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?
I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.
I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.
Chapter 28.
AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111
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We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.
I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Vampire.
“Are you okay?” Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.
“Yah I guess.” I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. “The problem is……………………….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time”
Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.
“Itz okay Eboby.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”
“Of coarse not!” I gasped.
“Really?” he asked.
“Sure.” I said.
We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.
Then………… I took off Draco’s MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).
I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.
We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.
“I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly………………………….
“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”
It was………………………….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111
Chapter 29.
AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111
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“Oh my satan!1” we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.
“CUM NOW!1!” Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.
“Hey what the fuck!111” Vampire shooted angrily.
“Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. “Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango’s. So give back da camera!1111”
Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly.
“Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!” yelled Proffesor McGoggle. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).
I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1). Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.
And then……………….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.
“Crosio!” I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said “OK Serverus I’m going 2 go now.” She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.
“It’s ok Enoby.” said Draco. “Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake.”
Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111
Chapter 30.
AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111
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“No!11” we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then…………………… he came tords Darko!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle.
“What the fuck r u doing!” I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!
He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.
“U must stab Vrompire.” he said to me. “If u don’t then I’ll rap Draco!1”
“No you fucking bastrad!1” I yielded.
But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive.
Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.
“Dumbeldork will get u!” Draco shooted.
“Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11” Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.
“You ridiculus dondderhed!111” Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico’s clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…………………….
“Crosio!” I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio.
“You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-” shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.
Snake put the whip behind his bak. “Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing.” he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said ‘Come on Ebony let’s go.”
/END -
I shited pointing my wound.
-
is a treasure.Example:He was hung lik a stallone.
-
Beats Transparency Pepsi in a taste test.
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But taking off their clothes enthusiastically? What's wrong with kids these days?
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You're almost there! Don't give up now!
BEGIN/
Chapter 31.
AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111
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“I always knew u were on Voldemort’s side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111).” Serious said 2 Snape.
“No I’m not I was teaching them somefing!1” Snap clamed.
“Oh fucking yeah?” I took some blak Volremortserum out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap. Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes. Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too. B’loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid’s store.
“Whatz in da bag?” I asked Profesor Trevolry.
“U will c.” she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.
“You look fucking kawaii, bitch.” B’loody Mary said.
“Fangs.” I said.
“Ok now you’re going to go back in tim.” said Proffesor Sinister. “U will have to do it in a few sessionz.” She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. Then she gave me a black time-tuner. “After an hour use da time torner to go back here.” Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B’loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.
“Good luk!1” Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth’s touch sin. Then……….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.
Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was…………………….Tom Bombodil!1111
Chapter 32.
AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111
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“Hi.” I said flirtily. “Im Enoby Way da new student.” I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.
“Da name’s Tom.” he said. “But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam”
We shok hands. “Well come on we have 2 go upstairs.” Satan said. I followed him. “Hey Satan……..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?” (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.
“Oh my fuking god, how did u know?” Satan gasped. “actually I like gc a lot too.”(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that’s ounded really 80s)
“omg me too!” I replied happily.
“guess what they have a concert in hogsment.” satan whispered.
“hogsment?” I asked.
“yeah that’s what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000.” he told me all sekrtivly. “and theres a really cool shop called Hot-“
‘topic!” I finshed, happy again.
He froned confusedly. “noo its called Hot Ishoo.” He smiled skrtvli again. “then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic.” he moaned.
“ohh.” now everything was making sense for me. “so is dumblydor your princepill?” I shouted.
“uh-huh.” he looked at his black nails. “im in slitherin’”
“OMfG SHME TOO!” I SHRIEDKED.
“u go to this skull?”(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.
“yah that’s why im here im NEW.” I SMELLED HAPPili.
Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!” he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. “STUPID GOFFS!”
satan rolled his eyes. “his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we’re in slytherine and we’re not preps.”
I turned around angrily. “actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord.”
“wtf?” he asked angrily.
“oh nuffin.” I said sweetly.
then suddenlyn………………. the floor opened. “OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly.”
“hey where r u goin?” satan asked as I fell.
I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry’s classroom. dumblydum wuz dere. “dumblydore I think I just met u.” I said.
“oh yeah I rememba that.” dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik.
sinister came in. “hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?”
:”um.” I looked at her.
“oh yeaH I forgot bout that.”
“wth how?” I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.
professor sinster looked sad. “um I was drinking voldemortserum.” she started to cry black tears of depression. dumblydum didn’t know about them.
“hey r u crying tears of blood?” he asked curiously, tuching a tear.
“fuck off!” we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.
professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. “omfg enoby…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum.”
AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112
Chapter 33.
AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don’t lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1
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“Oh my fuking god!1” I shooted sadly. “Shud we get u 2 St Manga’s, bitch?”
“Hel no!” she said. “Lizzen Egogy, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?”
“Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.
“Hey Sexxy.” I said.
“How’d it go Enoby?” he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.
“Fine.” I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.
“How far did u go wif Satan?” Drako asked jealously.
“Not 2 far, lol.” I borked.
“Will you hav to do it with him?” Draco asked angstily.
“I hop not 2 far!111” I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.
“What happened 2 Snipe?” I growled.
“U will see.” Draco giggled mistressly. He opened a door……………Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.
“NOOOO PLZ!1111” Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). We took sum of Snipe’s blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven’t herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on ‘desolition liverz’ by MCR. Den………………………………………….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.
“Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111” I screemed passively as he got an eructation.
“I luv u TaEbory.” he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.
Chapter 34.
AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1
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I wook up in da coffin de next day. Draco waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly…………………. Sorious cocked on da door. I hopened it.
“Hi Ibony.” he said. “Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor’s office.”
“Ok.” I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Draco or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.
“So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?” I asked Sorious flirtily.
“I fucking tortured them.” he answered in a statistic way. “They r in Abkhazian now, lol.”
I laughed evilly.
“Where r Draco and Vampira?” I muttered.
“Dey are xcused form skool 2day.” Sodomize moaned sexily. “Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas.”
We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic
( http/
/PAUSE There's no link. I guess she fucked that up, too. RESUME/
She wuz drinking some Volximortserum.
She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.
“Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited.” she said sadly. “Good luck. Fangz!”
And then……….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around……………I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. I noticed……he was drinking a portent.
“Whose he!11” I asked.
“Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn.” Satan said. “He’s da Portents teacher…………..Ebony?”
“Yah?” I asked.
“Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat.”
“Yah?”
“Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?”
Chapter 35. gost of u
AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.
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I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped………………..Draco wuz there!111
I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.
“Draco what da fuk r u dong!111111” I gosped.
“Huh?” he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn’t Draco. It was Lucan!1 He stil had two arms.
“Oh hi Lucian!1” I sed. “Im Ebony the new student lol we shook handz.”
“Yah Satan told me abot you.” Lusian said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting. It wuz Serious, Vampire’s dad and………………Snap! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. “Lizzen I’m in a goth band wif those guys.” he said. “Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.
“ORLY.” I ESKED.
“Yeah.” he said. “Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums” he said ponting to him. “Snap plays the boss. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring.”
“Hey bastards.” I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. “But don’t u have a lead singer!” I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.
“We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists.”
“Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1” I gasped.
“Its okay but we need a new led snigger.” Samaro said.
“Wel………..I said Im in a bnad myself.”
“Rilly?” asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111
“Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?”
Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.
“I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz.” I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.
“Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz!1” begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.
“Um…….ok.” I shrugged. “Are we gong to play tonight?”
“Yah.” they said.
“Ok.” I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.
“What da hell r u dong here!11” I asked.
“I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby.” he said siriusly Den……….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and……………………..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111
Chapter 36.
AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111
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I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister. B’lody Mary, Socrates and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.
“OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111”
“Yah I no.” Serious said sadly.
“Oh hey there bitch.” Profesor Trevolry said in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom.
Hi fuker.” I said. “Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I’m playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too.”
“Oh my satan!1” (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) gasped B’lody Mary. “Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?”
“OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11” said Profesor Trevolry.
“I can’t fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first.” said Willow.
“Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also………….sum luv potion 4 Enoby.” Darko said resultantly.
“Well we have potions klass now.” Willow said so let’s go.
We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn’t there. Instead there was…………………………………………Cornelio Fuck!11111
“Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111” Draco shouted angrily.
“STFU!1” shooted Cornelia Fuck. “He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer. “Now do ur work!111”
My friendz and I talked arngrily.
“Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik!1” Vampire asked surprisedly.
“DATZ IT!11” CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. “IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111”
He stomped out angrily.
Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer. Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard.
“WTF is he doing?” I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly……………“HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11” he shooted.
I looked around…………….Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.
“God u r such a posr!1” I shooted at Hairgrid. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was………………Amnesia Portion!111
Chapter 37.
AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11
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DARKO’S PONT OF VIEW LOL
Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.
“Oh mi fucking satan!11” Enoby said. She wuz so hot. “Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1”
“But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata,” said Vampire. “Why would u need it?”
“To make everyfing go faster lol.” said Enoby.
“But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?” I asked jelosly.
“OMFG u guyz r so scary!11” said Britney, a fucking prep.
“Shut the fuk up!1” said Willow.
“Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry’s room.”
Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater’s room. But Profesor Sinister wasn’t there. Instead Tom Rid was.
Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.
I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said ‘666’ on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.
“OMG fangz!” I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.
“OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?” asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.
“Oh my fuking satan!1” I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now. Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.
“OMFG!111” I shoted arngrily. “How could they do that!11”
Suddenly Dumblydore came.
“WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1” he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly’s blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was……………Profesor Slutborn’s efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz……..Profesor Slutgorn!11
OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don’t kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.
“Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class.” you said finally hoping he couldn’t c da potion in ur pocket.
“Oh ok u can go now.” said Profesor Slutborn.
You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.
“Oh hi you guys.” I said seductively. “Wheres Satan?”
“Oh he’s cumming.” said Serious. “BTW u can kall me Hades now.” Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.
“Ok I will see you guyz at da concert.” I said and then I went with Satan.
Chapter 38.
AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111
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Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 666 just lik Draco’s car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), kuttting, musik and being goffik.
“Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11” Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)
“Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena.” I said in a flirty voice. “……….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?”
“Well………………” he thought. “I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod.”
Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we’re sadists.
While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan’s gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.
“OMG!111” Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. “Enoby gess what?”
I new that the amnesia had worked.
“Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work.” He said. “2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u.”
“Kul.” I raised my eye suggestingly. And den………. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.
“Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111” shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.
“Fuk u!11” I said. Suddenly…………………. I attaked her suking all her blood.
“Noooooo!11” she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside.
“Zomg how did u do that?” Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice.
“I’m a vampire.” I said as we went into the car.
“Siriusly?” he gasped.
“Yah siriusly.” I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.
“Itz too bad we didn’t get 2 c da rest of the movie, don’t u fink?”
“Yah.” I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.
“Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111” screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.
“I wood like to peasant……………..XBlakXTearX!11” he said. I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.
“Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111” I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation. “I’M NUT OKAY!1” I sang finaly. Suddenly Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak.
“OMFG!1” yielded James. “Wut the fuck?”
“Woops im sory!” said Lucian.
“You fuking ashhole!1” James shouted angrily.
“U guys are such prepz!11” Snap said. “Cum on it wuz a mistake!1”
“Yah itz not his fault!11” said Serious.
“No he ruined the fucking song!1” yelled Samaro.
“U guys stop!11” I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.
“OMFG no!11” shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm.
And den……………………………I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11
“No!111” yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.
/END -
Arngrily. The only way to dirnk.
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I didn't want to read the next ten chapters, but if you're gonna put them right in front of me. I think it's making me dumber, tho, the more I read it.
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VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.
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It's too fucking funny! I have to just pan and scan and pick out little heres-and-theres. Otherwise, I'd be into my fourth or fifth pair of undies by now.
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She's got a time-torner!!
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“Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums” he said ponting to him. “Snap plays the boss. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring.” A band with a boss and a gutter player...when was the last time you saw one of those?
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“Zomg how did u do that?” Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice.
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I really cannot read this as if it were intended to be actual literature. Please tell me that there is no way somebody wrote this and thought it was good.
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Dec 31, 2009 3:05:35 PM CST
My Immortal (Chapter 39, the hacker-troll's ending and original)
by anonymoose
Troll hacks author's fanfiction.net account, creates her own version of chapter 39, ends series out of canon. Enjoy.
BEGIN/
Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz
Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.
AN// I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.
And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."
I, the American retail wearing British vampire Sue, coughed up blood.
Satan kneeled down beside me.
"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"
I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."
Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony."
"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.
B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of.
Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.
When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.
A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.
A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.
All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN//I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.
When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.
All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.
And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.
--------
Meanwhile...
Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.
She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.
She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.
And then it occurred to her...
For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.
Ebony suppressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.
Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.
"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.
Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."
Chapter 40 /PAUSE (The real chapter 39) RESUME/. LOL! Someone has taken my account over!
THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well... this was in the doc area... might as well let the whole world see what the real Tara wanted to show us... Have a nice day!
AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111
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I woke up in da Norse’s offace on a special gothik coffin. Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room.
“Oh mi satan wut happened!” I screamed. Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual.
“Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11” I yielded.
“Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11” he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.
“Volxemort? OMFG what’s wrong!111” I asked.
Sudenly………. Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B’lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.
“OMFG Enoby ur alive!111” Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B’lody Mary.
“What the fuk happened?” I asked dem. “Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?” I gosped.
“Enoby u were almost shot!11” said Serious. “But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time.”
“But fangz anyway!1” said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!
“OMG I cant beleve Vampirz’ dad shot u!1” I gasped.
“Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den.” said James.
“Yah he wuz a spy.” Serious said sadly. “He wuz really a Death Dealer.”
“And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11” said Lucian. “He didn’t even realy no hu GC were until I told him.” Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.
“Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?” I asked gothikally.
“No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax.” said Profesor Trevolry. “He duzzn’t know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1”
I got up suicidally. Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don’t get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital’s wings wif B’lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.
“OMFG letz celebrate!11” gasped Willow.
“We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1” giggled Vampire.
“Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11” said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den………..I gasped……………………………………… Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.
“U fucking prep!11” we all yielded angrily.
“Yah u betrayed us!111” shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.
“No u don’t understand!1” screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake’s.
“No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111” said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.
“Enoby no!11111” screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.
Idiot's Note: Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus...
/END -
just up and killed itself? You know, on account of being continuously ignored.
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Didn't Whitesnake have a gutter player?
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Dec 31, 2009 3:17:55 PM CST
“Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?” I asked gothikally.
by cheeses_of_nazareth
“No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax.” said Profesor Trevolry. “He duzzn’t know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1”
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Wasn’t Paris Hilton in it…
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Gasp! That's suspense right there.
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I have to get ready for a date. With a woman. And yeah, she called ME. And yeah, she can see her toes. And yeah, have a great new years, pals o mine.
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I have to get ready for a date. With a woman. And yeah, she called ME. And yeah, she can see her toes. And yeah, have a great new years, pals o mine.
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Happy Blue Moon.
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Have a blast…
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said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!
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since u were form anodder time.”
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Dec 31, 2009 3:33:01 PM CST
Escape the killer dancer in your very own time machine.
by subtitles_off
Limited time offer.
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I should warn you, this whole fucking shit monster ends with a cliffhanger. The last update was in 2007, and it was eventually purged from fanfiction.net. I doubt there will ever be another chapter.
That's right. There's no solid ending. You came all this way only to get surprise sexed in the ass by a fucking cliffhanger, and a shitty one at that. However, you are close to the finish line. The challenge is nearly complete. Take pride in that.
Note: Chapter 40 is the real chapter 39, in the previous post. It's likely that the real author, having regained control of her account, got confused and lost count.
BEGIN/
Chapter 41.
AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!!!!!!!!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!!!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!!!!!!!!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.
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When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!!!!!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse’s office but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said ‘1980.’
/PAUSE You may take a moment to scream in horror. RESUME/
“OMFG!!! Im back in Tim again!!!!111” I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!11
“OMFG Enoby r u ok.” He asked gothikally.
“Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation.” I snapped sexily. “OMG am I dedd???” koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame’s gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!!!!111
I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.
“No ur not dead.” Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. “Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy’s dad is doing.”
I noo dat da real reason I didn’t die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. “WTF!!!! James almust shot Luciious!!!” I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn’t want him2 know I knew.
“Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress.” Satan reasoned evilly.
“I guess that’s ok.” I said because James hadn’t really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!!!!!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don’t 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. “Hey.” He sed all qwietly and goffically.
“Who da fuck is that?” I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.
“Dis is…Hedwig!!!!!!!!!11” Sed Volximort. “He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.
“Hey Hedwig.” I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.
“Lol hi Enoby.” He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!)
“Bye.” I sed all sexily.
“Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up.” Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.
“OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!” I said fingering something I didn’t know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!).
“Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1” I led them to da Great Hall. “Cum on u guys.”
Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him.
“Go fuk urself you fukking douche!” he shouted at him. “Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!!1”
“Yah go fuck urself Samaro!” Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.
“B quiet u guys.” I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire’s dad wood never die and “OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out.” I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.
“Kool.” said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.
“Oh my fukking god!!!! Voldimort! Voldimort!” screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort’s.
But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame………………Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!!!!111111111111
Chapter 42. da blak parade
AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!!!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!!!!!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?? If dey don’t den JKR is hamophobic!!!!!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!!!111
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I sat depressedly in Dumbledork’s office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.
“What da hell is this anyway??” he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn’t find out dat I was frum another time.
“Whatever u do don’t blame Ibony, u jerk.” Satan said.
“Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together.” Serious said deviantly.
“Be quiet you Satanists.” Dumbledore cockled. “If ur lucky I’ll probably send u all to Akazaban!!! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall.” He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n’Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn’t notece.
“You fucking poser.” I muttoned.
“I bet you’ve never herd of GC.” James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly’s tim machine!!!!!11
“Shut up Jomes!!!” Drako’s dad shouted.
“Yeah shut up!!!!” Snake said preppily.
“No u shut up Dumblydore!!!!!!!!1111” said Tom.
“I’ve had enough of u Satanists in my school!!!!” shouted Dumbledore spuriously.
Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. “Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was……..Satan.
“You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111” screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.
I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.
“Hey kool where iz dis?” he asked in an emo voice.
“Dis is da future. Dumbeldore’s iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine.” I told him.
“Kool what’s an ipatch?” he whimpered.
“It’s somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music.” I yakked.
“OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?” he esked in his sexah voice.
“Um I guezz sand????” I laid confuesdly.
“Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon.” He triumphently giggled.
Suddenly some of my friends walked in.
“OMG you’re fucking alive!” said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.
“Konichiwa, bitch.” said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.
“Hey, motherfucker.” Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.
“Hey whose that, Ibony?” B’loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.
“Oh its Satan.” I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.
Suddenly Satan started to cry.
“Are you okay Satan?” we asked concernedly.
“OMFG ur from da future!!1! What if u don’t like m anymore koz were from difrent times?????” he asked.
“No I still like you.” I said sexily to him.
“Ok.” He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!!!!!!!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.
“Oh my fucking god, where’s Draco!!!!111 How did Snap get back here!!! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan.” I asked sadly.
“Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can’t fucking die because you’re a vrompire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student.” Trevolry said reassuredly.
“That bitch!!!!!!!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?” I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep.
“Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!!!!!!” Trevolry said worriedly.
“OK. But where’s Dracko???? How cum he was doing it with Snap?????”
“I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself.” she said.
“OMG dat’s terrible!!!!!!!!” I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn’t tell what was going on. Then I said “Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!” wiv dat I ran out.
“Good luck Tara!!!!!!!11” everyone cried.
I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.
“You fucking bitch!!!!!111” I shouted angrily.
“No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!” she laughed.
“Crucious!!!!!!!!!1” I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.
“No!!!!!!1 Help me!!!!!!1 Please!!!!!!!!1” Britney screamed terrifiedly.
I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. “OMG Vampira!!!!111” I yielded.
We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!!!1)“I wus so worried you died!” moaned Vampire.
“I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me.”
“Where’s Draco?” I asked spuriously.
“Draco? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?” Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.
“I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM.” I SED SMARTY.
“I’ll do it den.” Harry said angstily.
“OK.” I argreed. Suddenly……….all da lights in da room went out. And den…….da Dork Mark appeared.
“Oh my fucking satan!!!!!” Harry shouted.
“I fink Voldimort has arrivd.” I sed anxiously. “Fuck, I have to find Draco!!1 I guess we shood separate.”
“Ok.” Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.
Chapter 43.
AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!!!!!!!!!111111 if u flam den fukk u!!!111
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I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Draco was there!! He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!!!!!111 I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.
“Draco are you okay????” I asked.
“I’m not okay.” he screamed depressedly. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.
“Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?” I asked teardully.
“I-” Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris appearated in2 da room!! They didn’t see us.
“Im so glad we me and Snape were freed.” said Loopin.
“Dam, this job would be great if it wasn’t 4 da fukking students!” Mr. Norris argreed.
“Pop addelum!!!!!111” I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.
“Noooooooo!!!!1” Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away.
“You fukking perv.” I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. “Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I’m gong 2 torture u!!!!”
“I don’t now where he is!!!!1111” said Loopin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn’t know who Satan was really.
“Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!!1” Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie then.
I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Draco sexily. Loopin gasped. Draco began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. “Oh mi satan!! Draco!!!!” I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry. I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. “OMS!!!111” cried Vampire. “Oh Vampire! Vampire!!!” I screamed screamed. “Oh Satan!!!!!” yelled Harry in pleasore. Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly……………………………..
………….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!!!!!!!11
Chapter 44.
AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!!!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!!!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!!!!1111 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait!!! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.
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“Dat’s mi car!!!!” shooted Draco angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz………….Snape!!!!!
“I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads.” he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. “Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!!!!”
“You fucking prep!!!” yelled Draco. Then he loked at me sadly. “I forgot to tell u, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn’t really have sexx him but he’s a ropeist!!!!”
We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!!!!1 But Satan didn’t change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into………… Voldemont!!!!!!!111
“I knew who thou were all along.” he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. “Now I shall kill thee all!!!!!!” Thunder came in da room.
“No plz don’t kill us!” pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B’loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in.
“What is da meaning of dis?” Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.
“Oh my goth!” Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)
“The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!!!” Snape ejaculated menacingly.
“You fucking preppy fags!” Serious shouted angrily.
“I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!!!” screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco’s car. It fell down Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.
“Oh my fucking god!!!1” I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Drako and the video of Satan doing it with
“If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton.” He laughed meanly.
“No!” I scremed. “FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin!!!!11”
“Whats she talking abott??????” Lupin slurped as he sat in chains.
“I saw 2 she’s gunna show evry1 da picter!!!111” Harry shouted angrily.
“Shut up!!!111’” Lumpkin roared.
“Foolish ignoramuses!!!!!!” yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. “Thou shall all dye soon.”
“Think again you fucking muggle poser!!!!!1” Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel both took out blak guns! But Voldimort took out his own one.
“U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!111” I shouted despariedrly.
“Acco Nevel’s wand!!!11” cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevil’s wind was in his hands. “Now I shall kill thee all and Evony u will die!!!!!!!!11111”
He maid lighting come all over da place.
“Save us Ebony!” Dumbledark cried.
I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.
“ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!!!!!!!11111” I shooted.
/END
FFFFFFFUUUUCK.
Congratulations! You have arrived at the end of this shitmare of a journey. You are a better person because of it. -
You?
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Her friend, Raven, helped write chapters 1 - 16, hence the better spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc...
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I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.
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I am staying quietly at home and out of anymore trouble with Texas Law Enforcement personnel...
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yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. “Thou shall all dye soon.”
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I just don't feel like over-doing.
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Look like you did when you were 20. Time Toner®
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Many words are similar in structure to the author's intended words. That makes me think she used a spell checker and set it to automatically replace misspelled words with the top choices.
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The author got a job in Hollywood scripting summer blockbusters.
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I'll be back in '10.'moose thanks for the laughs. Good way to end a year. Happy Blue Moon to you.And you, too, Smooches. Since you're home where it's warm and safe, you have my permission to get hammered.
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http://tinyurl.com/yh4cotj
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Is Dick Clark still alive? Or, has Seacrest taken over New Year’s Eve Master of Ceremonies duties now?
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My wifes got me going to two parties. I just wanna stay home
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I have to be at work at 7 AM tomorrow morning, so I am getting hammered early….
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post-stroke...he didnt look so good, all things considered.
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thats impossible...ive tried that before..drinking early but somehow im there till last call...doubly fucked come morning time...and everytime i says never agin..just get a 6pack on the way ome..then that disappears and off to the bar...
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for ew years ever 1999, they played the video over and over and over and over and overfor 24 hours...mr. nelson never gets old...
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to get ready...i'll be thinking of youse guys tonight...i wanna role call bright and early (say noon) to see if everyone made it home in one piece...im such a den mother.
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THE MATCH-UP: This is another DD foe that Batman doesn't really match-up that great with. Sure, I think Batman could kill Daredevil in a fight and DD can beat Bull's-eye, but against Batman doesn't have some of the advantages that DD has. He lacks his radar sense and heightened senses which would really be helpful against Bull's-eye. Batman might be just as quick or even quicker than Daredevil, but when you are dodging something based on following it visually, you got a couple of problems. One is that you can only dodge what you see, and someone like Bull's-eye can throw things fast and quick. It is going to be hard for Batman to always keep his eyes on Bull's-eye hands. The other problem is that these kind of superhero fights usually take place in badly lit places. You're not always going to be able to see or follow the trajectory of something the size of a pen or playing card (two problems DD doesn't have to worry about because of his radar sense).
Another thing Bats will want to avoid doing is usually a lot of his weapons from his Utility Belt. The majority of those are thrown weapons, and unfortunately if he misses he has just given Bull's-eye more ammo (Batman doesn't want to ironically die from his own Batarang). As good and accurate as Batman is, he isn't nearly as dangerous or have Bull's-eye inhuman accuracy. Better to keep the utility belt closed.
Of course, Bats isn't completely helpless. If he can close the gap he is going to give a world of hurt to Bull's-eye. Bull's-eye can fight in CQ, as he has demonstrated in the comics against guys like DD, Elektra and Captain America, but he isn't as good at it as they are. And while Bull's-eye's arch-foe DD is a damn good fighter, he isn't at the same caliber as Batman. Batman is bigger, has a longer reach, and while just as good as striker as DD, he can also grapple and knows judo and jujitsu and a bunch of other grappling styles.
Plus Bull's-eye might have a dangerous distance attack, he can still only attack someone as far as he can throw an object. While in the comics they show him throwing toothpicks 100s of yards, I think a more “realistic” distance would be something like 20-30 feet max before the object starts losing momentum or it's trajectory goes off. Most of the stuff he throws isn't really that aerodynamic, so Batman doesn't have a huge amount of room to cross.
Batman also has something that will help him get by Bull's-eyes's distance attacks - his cape. Once again, if Batman is in the shadows, he can use his cloak as a decoy. Sure Bull's-eye is accurate, but if all you see is a big bat dark shadow and throw something at it there is no guarantee that you'll hit something vital.
PREDICTIONS: This fight will be short but bloody. Batman will try to stay in the shadows and the darkness but will quickly realize that Bull's-eye's aim is way to good to try to play dodge ball. After getting clipped a couple times by a thrown shard of glass or card, he'll use his cloak as cover so Bull's-eye won't get a clear shot on him. Bull's-eye will still hit, but it'll be in the shoulder or the ribs instead of the heart or the eye.
After that Batman will have gotten close enough to land a few blows. He'll realize he can't afford to let Bull's-eye get any room between them or get his hands on anything, so he'll take him down and then proceed to ground and pound the psycho. He won't give Bull's-eye any moment to get his bearing. In the end, Batman will be heavily bleeding but Bull's-eye's face will look like hamburger.
WINNER: Batman by KO.
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and happy new year...i cant think of any new year songs otherwise id sing you a tune.
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THE MATCH-UP: This one isn't going to be pretty. Wildcat is tough, and could arguably give Batman a good fight or even beat him, but against The Kingpin he doesn't really have a chance. The reason, one word - size. There is a reason boxing and wrestling have weight categories, and against someone like the Kingpin's size Wildcat doesn't have a real good shot. Sure he can throw some vicious punches, but the force of a punch is a simple mathematical formula - velocity x mass = force. Sure technique helps, but in the end the amount of damage you can do is completely dependent on how fast you can throw a punch and how much weight you can get behind it. Even if Wildcat puts all his 180-something body into his punch, The Kingpin's 450lbs body is going to absorb.
The other problem is Wildcat's reach - it isn't that long and he is a boxer so he normally just punches. That means he'll have to get close and that means he is very vulnerable to be grabbed or taken down by the Kingpin. And once on the ground, forget it. Wildcat doesn't have the training or skills to fight off a man of Wilson Fisk size and skill on the ground.
PREDICTION: Wildcat will come out swinging, aiming for the Kingpin's T-zone on his face in hopes of getting an early knockout, but Kingpin is well trained (and has fought boxer DD enough) to know to protect his nose and chin. Once Wildcat ends up in a clinch with Kingpin, he'll soon find his back on the ground and 450lbs of Fisk coming down on him.
PREDICTION: Wilson Fisk by Knockout.
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After scouring all the critics awards, Golden Globe and SAG nominations, I’ve come up with my predictions for who’ll get nominated in the eight main Oscar races on Feb. 2. My Best Picture picks are immediately below; the other seven categories are after the jump. In the acting races, I stuck largely with the SAG picks, which seem right to me. Except in the supporting actress category, where I think there will be more of a discrepancy. These picks are immortalized in print in EW’s Jan. 8 issue; since we still have the DGA and PGA before us, time will tell if I make any changes between now and nomination day.
Best Picture
Avatar
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Invictus
The Messenger
Precious
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air
Oh, how much easier this would be if there were only five Best Picture nominees this year: It’d be Up in the Air, The Hurt Locker, Avatar, Precious, and Inglourious Basterds and we’d call it a day. It’s those other five slots that are tougher to suss out. An Education has strong support from actors (witness its SAG nod for best cast) and across-the-pond voters, and the delightfully strange A Serious Man will rally the Coen brothers’ fervent fan base. Invictus has the necessary prestige to make the cut, while Best Animated Feature front-runner Up should manage to break out of the cartoon ghetto. If voters want to go the populist route, the top contender is the adult romance It’s Complicated. But since it’s the No. 1 and No. 2 votes on the Academy’s ranked ballots that truly count, a film with a smaller cult of enthusiastic followers—think District 9 or, more likely, The Messenger—is poised to become a spoiler. Which means the flashy, filled-with-Oscar-faves musical Nine may fall victim to its nasty reviews and lackluster box office.
Check out the rest of my predictions after the jump.
Best Actor
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker
Four performances have dominated this race and show no signs of budging: George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Colin Firth, and Morgan Freeman all received the trifecta of Golden Globe, SAG Award, and Broadcast Film Critics Association nominations. Tobey Maguire also landed a Globe nod for Brothers, but the film has taken some knocks from critics, which hurts his chances; ditto BFCA nominee Viggo Mortensen for the drama The Road. In a race with another onscreen soldier, Ben Foster (so raw and moving in The Messenger), I think the last spot goes to Jeremy Renner.
Best Actress
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia
Meryl Streep will easily break her own record and earn Academy Award nomination No. 16. Though It’s Complicated is the more recent of her two starring roles this year, Streep’s channeling of a real person in Julie & Julia is likelier to get the voters’ attention. Meanwhile, Carey Mulligan and Gabourey Sidibe are the indie standouts of the year. Emily Blunt made the BFCA and Globe short lists for her impressive turn in The Young Victoria and could do the same here, but the Academy may round out the race with a past winner—Helen Mirren—and a first-time nominee: Sandra Bullock.
Best Supporting Actor
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
Christoph Waltz and Woody Harrelson are the definites here, followed by Matt Damon, who’ll earn his first nomination in 12 years. With Me and Orson Welles‘ Christian McKay becoming more and more of a long shot, the last two slots will likely go to veterans who’ve never been nominated despite decades of strong work: Stanley Tucci (so fabulous in Julie & Julia but more likely to get noticed for his villainous role in The Lovely Bones), Christopher Plummer (resolute as a dying Tolstoy in The Last Station), or An Education’s Alfred Molina, who may find himself drawing the short straw this year.
Best Supporting Actress
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo’Nique, Precious
Julianne Moore, A Single Man
Samantha Morton, The Messenger
Mo’Nique and Anna Kendrick have monopolized the critics’ prizes, while Kendrick’s costar Vera Farmiga also seems a good bet. The Screen Actors Guild overlooked Julianne Moore, but her boozy BFF in A Single Man should do the trick with the Academy. As Nine’s buzz continues to fade, Golden Globe and SAG Award nominee Penélope Cruz may find herself edged out. Inglourious Basterds‘ Diane Kruger made the SAG list, but the likeliest stealth contender is The Messenger’s Samantha Morton, who has snuck in at the last minute before.
Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron, Avatar
Clint Eastwood, Invictus
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
One certainty in this year’s Oscar race: A woman will be nominated for Best Director, for the fourth time ever, in the form of Kathryn Bigelow. Jason Reitman and Quentin Tarantino should each score their second nods in this race, while past winners James Cameron and Clint Eastwood stand the best shot at rounding out the category. Outside contenders include Precious‘ Lee Daniels, Up’s Pete Docter, and An Education’s Lone Scherfig, in which case there’d be two women nominated in the same year for the first time.
Best Original Screenplay
Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, A Serious Man
Pete Docter & Bob Peterson, Up
Scott Neustatder & Michael H. Weber, (500) Days of Summer
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
There are essentially six screenplays fighting for the five spots here. The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, Up, and A Serious Man, all strong overall contenders, seem like foregone conclusions. Nancy Meyers scored a Golden Globe nomination for her insightful and funny It’s Complicated script, but the guys from (500) Days of Summer can see Meyers on insightful and funny and raise her another all-important adjective: inventive.
Best Adapted Screenplay
Wes Anderson & Noah Baumbach, Fantastic Mr. Fox
Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell, District 9
Geoffrey Fletcher, Precious
Nick Hornby, An Education
Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner, Up in the Air
Up in the Air, Precious, and An Education are the surest bets, while the writers’ branch has recognized both members of Fantastic Mr. Fox’s clever team before. For the fifth slot, it could be Nora Ephron for Julie & Julia or Tom Ford (co-credited with David Scearce) for his impressive overhaul of A Single Man. But if voters don’t want to let a designer into the club, Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell’s District 9 may be too unsettling to ignore.
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THE MATCH-UP: Deathstroke the terminator is a former US Special Forces operator given the DC version of the Super-Soldier Formula. That makes him a What if version of Frank Castle getting the Super-Soldier formula. And like the Punisher, Slade Wilson has a couple of disadvantages in this tournament. The biggest disadvantage is his lack of proper training time in only unarmed combat. Most of Deathstroke’s training is in the use of firearms, but because he can’t use those (or fragmentation grenades) he is at a huge disadvantage; Cap might be a vet of WWII, but he was exclusively trained in and still only trains in hand-to-hand combat. Half of Deathstroke’s training and expertise has been rendered irrelevant - it is like a boxer put into a ring against a boxer and told that punching isn't allowed. Who do you think wins?
Also, special mention should be made about the weapons. Sure Deathstroke has a number of impressive offensive weapons, such as his sword, his staff and shurikens. But those things will be rendered ineffective by Cap’s shield. His shield is made of a special comic book science adamantium-vibranium blend, which renders it completely indestructible, and because of the vibranium it absorbs shocks. That means Deathstroke can pound on it all he wants with his sword or staff and Cap will feel no recoil or shock.
Plus his round shield also makes a really effective offensive weapon. Not just for throwing, but also for use as a bludgeon. If you’ve ever read about the Spartan Hoplites or seen the Most Dangerous Warrior (yeah, I admit a dumb show) you’ll see just how dangerous shield’s can be as offensive weapons, especially round ones like Caps.
PREDICTION: Cap will stay on the defensive, letting Deathstroke try to get around his guard and defensives with his weapons. When he does that, Cap will continue to counter-punch and attack, knowing that despite Deathstroke’s great reaction time he hasn’t faced anyone with his speed or combat experience (except for maybe Batman). Sooner or later he’ll fall victim to a right cross or a counter hook, or a real well placed hit from his shield.
WINNER: Captain America by KO.
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THE MATCH-UP: This is a lot better match than people think. On one side you have a master of Kung Fu in Shang-Chi, and on the other side you have a master of Savate in Batroc the Leaper. Both fighting styles are much more complex and varied than people think, and encompass more than just kicks.
Still, kicks will be Batroc’s number one option. The Savate kick has longer range and is very good at working angles so Shang-chi won’t know exactly where they are going to land. Batroc will use this to keep the son of Fu Manchu at bay, and if they get close he’ll resort to using knees and elbows or Western boxing punches (which are part of the curriculum of Savate).
Despite not being able to match Batroc’s kicking range, or probably even his punching power (although he is close because he studies JKD which incorporates Western Boxing punches), he has a couple of advantages over Batroc. First, he knows Sanshou, which is a Chinese form of kickboxing which lets you use takedowns. Batroc might be better at working angles, but Shang-Chi can work levels. Because of that, Shang-Chi will be able to dictate where the fight is going, standing or on the ground, and usually who can dictate the terms of a fight wins.
Secondly, Shang-Chi knows Shuai jiao and Chin Na, which are forms of wrestling and small joint manipulation. If Shang-Chi manages to get him to the ground or in the clinch, than he’ll be able to pull those out and Batroc has no defense for those.
PREDICTION: This will be a long fight as the two feel each other out, but after awhile Shang-Chi will start to figure out Batroc’s style and begin to fluster the Frenchman. He’ll continue to take him down again and again, frustrating him and tiring him out as he fights to regain his feet. Sooner or later he’ll make a mistake and Shang-Chi will capitalize.
WINNER: Shang-Chi. -
"it is like a boxer put into a ring against a WRESTLER and told that punching isn't allowed. Who do you think wins?"
I should seriously proof read my post. -
so batman vs kingpinand shang-chi vs. the captain?
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If my own writing wasn't so pathetic.
But seriously, cutting your wrist over Draco from Harry Potter? WTF? -
And maybe I will throw in some midget wrestling with Ant-Man taking on the Atom.
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...fan fiction a while back...mostly about room of requirement escapades, transformation potions etc...
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...how to use them...and he's not the only Parseltongue in town.
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He's got nothin' on this guy...http://www.wtfcostumes.com/penis_man_costume.phpRemember him?
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Happy New Years Pedalbackers.
If you want to be part of the writing pact, contact me at Continentalop.lee@gmail.com. I'll only reply to emails I see in the subject line your handle and the answer to this riddle "Batmanster doesn't rape; what does he do?"
Hopefully by the 4th I'll have a plan of attack for the group. -
so bats is in his flat and hes like wheres janie or jane or whatever that bitches name is and then theres a sext message on his phone from jane saying yeah i'm horny and its new years come on over. Bats starts slobberin all over his cowl and thanks to the nolan brothers that it can swivel and is rubberized because that really matters.
so bats hops in the batgranade or rocketbatpod and presses go: directions janes apartment and set bat grapple dart gun for stun or break windows cause he.....fuck it....i dont know..he sets the bat grapple to the setting where it makes his entrance to her apartment the most easy. And kabam shit bang BLAST and hes off like a flash blastin down the street listeng to music and hes fuching drunk but fuck it drunk driving is fun on new years.
So up ahead on the batdar radar there is this blip and it says "crimsters in a lincoln continental dead ahead". Bats grimaces and is feeling a moral conundrum coming on....what to do...fight the crimsters or make it to janes fast snatch as fast as possible? And then his batbrain synapses fuse in that sexy way that tells you you've made the right choice.....howabout BOTH.
First take out the crimesters...then bang jane like shes got another thing coming...and shes gonna. Alright so the escalade is fast approaching the intersection ahead and batmanster..THE batamanster says: "battle car old racketcar battle bot you and me have been through alot of shit together but now is the time for speed so fucking warp ten me at that bitch. and like a split atom out of albert frusenstiens cranial they blast lead rocket bottle and saddle through the linkster contintop at a faster speed than is even perceptible. The lincoln is blasted to smither bits and the crimesters are stopped in thier atomic tracks. Mission accomplished.
Baster rachets down the speed to fuckin fast and tokeo drifts into a parrallel park in front of janes front door.
By now our hero batmanster is heaving and howing and growling for that sweet janie hes just got to have cause its new years. He buzzes the door. Janes sweet and sassy voice vocals through and says "hey there batmanster you you batmanster you .....its new years and i'm LONELY....so come on up." but shit..ITS LOCKED! Then janie says...your gonna have to fight you way here if you want to have me...
Aw shit..now shes just playing to batsters weaknesses..the ole damsel locked in a tower ruitine. Bats considers knocking the buliding to smithereens brick by brick with his powerful punches but damn it...hes toasted. Damn it!
Just then like a godsend from god himself its dOC gord the commish! Hey bats says the commish with a wry grin like they are in the 3rd or 4th sequel of a movie trilogy and they are playing on the fans expectations.....I've got a gift for you...a late christmas gift. Bats says aw shucks commish and unwraps the gift in a fury. The packaging falls asunder and there gleaming in the wreckage of the cardboard and santa clause paper is a fine splendid sight: NEW ROCKETBOOTS!
Aw hell gord...thanks says bats and pats the commish on the back. As redundant as it may be at this point for the commish to give bats some new rocket boots he is in no position to refuse the fantastic present. HE slips the boots on and as he does the moon slides out of the clouds...it shines on the batmanster in a keen blue glow..a veritable cinematographers delight. He looks like he could be on a movie poster. The boots light and he blasts upwards to the tall golden window at the top of the tower. His janie awaits.
The end -
Good to see you! Whats it like to be ODB?
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rats
flats
mats
paper.
bemjamin paper man jin
pejamin paper monson strikes mat at the rung non
maker print mocker nof mon trop gaaeeaaaat out of myyyyy offfiice!
The clerk was baffled. Seconds ago they were going to go to lunch and have a nice time. Maybe even get to know each other. Now it was like he had licked the wrong stamps.
You are telling me that you won't be here ...is that right?
Matronly but only in her own time she sat down as the pretentious writing continued.
Ben flackle haaaaaabbaaaaaaallllaaaatle!
haaaaabaaaalatle you!
you are a habalatle and a confederate. You took abrahams socks and disjoined thier union leading to his unkind contempt of your situiage.
Coining its raggage them lumped a'plunder knocked rocked a'tune blage, de com'st de comb.
A mal a lom de foralack do for de rat men placken.
clem my lem clemage forn scolge rackage you'n con' sou nonder tre mocken my falken.
Fort faulker. Sort Mumpter.
Union sage. Mopen strum dom clem.
I drank 4 bottles worth sailor port of mast said setting down his saber and abstaining from further duelage. He pulled out an electric guitar and astounded his pre lespaulian mates with a distorted wonder. I call it the plankton brigette he said.
MId ship
so car. makinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Frankle sat down and lowered his specs. Are you telling me Jackers inalienated the inalianables/s? I find those truths to be more self evident than divinely bequethed....at least in the sense of southern affirment. A civil war will solve these problems but tell Jeffls to imply self evidence in the meanstead. -
Home early, thinking to myself, "Self, that was another New Years Eve that was kind of a bust, but what the hell, you've got your health even if you're unemployed and the fattest, weakest Pedalbacker, and, you can always try to get laid tomorrow," and I sit my sorry ass down to do a little computer-style catching up on eems and newses of the days. And suddenly all that depression disappears as quickly as a goffik's ability to spell, when I find out there's new Efftards music to be found at myspace.com/efftards and on top of that some new Batmanster sexiness! Awesome. Dig "A Union Rebel"! And 48 seconds of "Bad 90's Rock" is better than a whole Alice in Chains CD.
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We were all given rapper identities yesterday.
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I squandered the head-start.
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myspace.com/efftards
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I have to be up at 6 AM….Type at you tomorrow night…
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Did he put on his new rocket boots and fly?
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and downy nests of their parents making. It had been a warm evening by the fire and the dry light inside was a pleasant juxtiposition to outdoors damp and cool.
The stories of the evenings telling had filled the young rat minds with tales of tall tell. Old leader rats climb of Bad stand trail, the sneaking steal of tabby cats cheese, and many other a fine chase of ratly good fortune.
Mother rat began her knitting of next years full stocking. Morsels of sugar and a scrap of orange peel from the tropic would delight the young rats noses next year when the happy moment came and they bumbled happily down the stairs new years morning.
It was quiet and the light of Gods moon shown on the snow. New Years morning was almost here and the little rats had pleasant dreams. -
Sleep it off. You have to work tomorrow? Suckage.
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I didn't know you were here. Sorry....i'm drunk.
I'm glad you like the efftards songs....I think they could be better myself....but I thought you might want to know if there was anything new. -
Couldn't have gotten thru this year without youse'cheers.
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in spaceships?
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Did you double-feature today?
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You have to be - It's New Years Eve, fer jebus saki.
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Hi sixter
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Space cats are a poor little rats nightmare.
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I have to go. I'm giving up smoking tomorrow....ehh....today.
Three cigs left...and I have to smoke them before I go to bed.
Later Subs! Doc Morb, ODB...and the rest of the pedalsters!
Happy new year!
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papa rat scurries up to the high-up cupboard where they keep the thimbleful of cheese schnapps for special occasions once in a blue moon. Carefully balancing the thimble in his paw, so as not to spill a drop but also to impress mother with his still-got-it-style rat skills, he scurried back down, flexing his tail that way the fittest rathletes do when they wanna attract lady rats for some rat-nasty."Not now, you filthy beast," teased mother rat. "I have to finish the stocking for New Years morning, or there will be a hell of a squeaking."Not be dissuaded, papa rat tickled his fine lady rat's toes with his whiskers.
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Still have twenty-six minutes to go here. Best to you in the new year. Cheers.
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You'll feel better, and the mrs will appreciate the improvement in your breath. Happy New Years to you! May you wake up and find an orange peel in your stocking!
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Good Luck giving up smoking, I hear its a bitch, hope you kick it.
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The Aughts end today or a year from now?
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And nice rat story Subs!
Peace! -
gradually turn his charming little children's story of rat kids into a tale of wonton vermin debauchery and horrific violence.Probably best that I don't.
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and MOOSE, and CONTI, and STABBY, and SAVAGEDAVE, and TEDKORDLIVES, and ALL PEDALBACKERS...PAST...PRESENT...and FUTURE. *confetti* *party hats* *noisemakers* *a bit of the bubbly* *black-eyed peas* *more confetti*LET THE WILD RUMPUS BEGIN!
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*sloppy kisses with total strangers* and maybe *drunken floozy flashes her tits*
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It tastes like a 300lb black man shat in mouth.by the way I've been meaning to clarify about the dub feature. It wasn't raining it was just they didn't take credit cards. Maybe this weekend.
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There's a good reason why you get drunk quicker (and are more likely to feel hung over the next day) if you down those cocktails on an empty stomach. "When the stomach is busy digesting solid food, it releases its contents more slowly," explains Robert Swift, M.D., associate director of the Brown University Center for Alcohol and Addiction Studies in Providence, R.I. That means that if you've had something to eat, the booze you're drinking will also be absorbed more slowly. Studies have shown that it takes longer to achieve a high blood-alcohol level on a full stomach than it does on an empty stomach. So prime your stomach for a night of sipping cocktails by eating something solid—with a combination of fat, carbohydrate and protein—that will take the body a little work to digest. -
There is some evidence to suggest that what you drink—not just how much—can impact how badly you feel the morning after. Clear and light alcoholic drinks (like vodka and white wine) are more pure than their dark-colored counterparts (like bourbon, rum and red wine). The darker alcohols contain higher levels of chemicals called congeners, which are impurities formed during fermentation. The higher their concentration, the more likely you are to get a hangover. -
It's a good way to keep calorie counts low, but using diet soda as a mixer with your liquor can make you drunk faster. A study published in the American Journal of Medicine in 2006 showed that alcohol entered the bloodstream about 15 minutes more quickly—creating a higher blood-alcohol level—when it was mixed with an artificially sweetened drink instead of one that contained sugar. So save your calories elsewhere if you want to help save yourself from a hangover. -
"One of the best ways to reduce your hangover risk is to alternate alcohol beverages with water," says Swift. Since dehydration is a prominent symptom of a hangover, keeping yourself well hydrated may help stave off the worst of it. Plus, since alcohol is a diuretic (meaning it makes you urinate more), you will need to overcompensate with extra water to maintain hydration. An added bonus: alternating your drinks also means that you will automatically cut down on the number of cocktails—and calories—you consume. -
It seems obvious, but it's easy to forget this cardinal rule when drinking a cocktail or a cold beer that's so refreshing you just want to gulp it down. If you have a hard time with self-control, choose drinks that really lend themselves to sipping—like a full-bodied red wine or a straight-up cocktail (a neat vodka, a sipping tequila or a snifter of brandy). A taste that you can sip and savor will cut down on the number of drinks you consume, and the speed at which the alcohol hits your bloodstream. -
Using a caffeinated mixer like Red Bull to create super-charged cocktails has been popular for years; more recently, beer makers joined the trend by creating caffeinated brews. But there are good reasons to avoid adding a caffeine buzz to your alcoholic one. "Caffeine will negate the sedative effects of the alcohol," says Swift. And if you don't feel tired—or drunk—Swift suggests that it could easily lead you to drink more, and really regret it the next morning. Two other reasons that caffeine and alcohol are a bad mix: caffeine, like alcohol, is a diuretic, so you will end up even more dehydrated; and they also both disrupt sleep, leaving you feeling even worse for wear the next day. -
It's tempting to pop a few pills before passing out in the hopes of avoiding waking up to a nasty headache. But just make sure you're reaching for the right bottle. Acetaminophen, such as Tylenol, should not be taken after you've had a few drinks. "When acetaminophen is metabolized in the liver, one of the byproducts is actually a toxic compound," explains Swift. The liver normally handles it just fine, he assures, but having alcohol in your system exhausts the liver's ability to remove this toxic byproduct. "And if the liver can't get rid of it, it can build up and cause liver damage," he says. The better choice: Take a couple of aspirin or ibuprofen (like Advil) instead, washed down with a large glass of water. -
If you wake up with a wicked hangover, it's still not too late to take steps to make yourself feel a bit better. Reach for something hydrating—a sports drink or fruit juice might be even better than water. That's because if you unwisely drank to the point of vomiting, you lost valuable electrolytes, and a sports drink will help replenish them. And the naturally occurring sugar called fructose that's found in fruit and fruit juices might help mitigate your symptoms. If your stomach is feeling queasy, stick to bland complex carbohydrates (think crackers and toast) that are easy to digest. -
"When you drink alcohol, the brain adapts to the sedative effects by becoming hyper-excitable," explains Swift. When the levels of blood alcohol decline, you stop feeling the sedative effect and start noticing that the brain is in an over-excited state. You might feel hypersensitive to light and noise thanks to the brain's over-stimulation. So going back for more alcohol (the so-called "hair of the dog" cure) will sedate your brain again and may make you feel better. "But it is only a temporary reprieve," warns Swift, and adding more alcohol will only enhance the toxicity of what you've already consumed. -
Everyone has a different level of tolerance to alcohol that will affect how much he or she can drink, as well as the likelihood of waking up with a hangover. Body weight, gender and even your genes all impact how many cocktails it will take to make you really regret that last one. The best advice is to pay attention to what you can handle—and then stop before you reach that limit. "The only truly reliable way to prevent a hangover is to drink less," says Swift. -
Or is all of that information useless for this morning? Too little, too late! Maybe if I'd posted it yesterday,A mouthful of Michael Clarke Duncan squat, indeed!
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Jan 01, 2010 10:54:56 AM CST
Of course they don't take credit cards, at the dollar cinema.
by subtitles_off
Even if a person buys a ticket for three shows, it's barely worth the swipe.Hopefully, they don't change all the films this weekend. I can't imagine the horror of sitting down to watch FANTASTIC MR. FOX and getting THE SQUEAKQUEL instead.
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From Harvard Health Publications
A debate that started in the 1960s remains an important one in the addiction field: is it possible to control problem drinking, or must the drinker give up alcohol completely?
Clinicians often find that patients who enter alcohol treatment for the first time say they would like to find ways to cut back on their drinking rather than abstaining. And many people who have not yet developed symptoms of alcohol dependence, as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), such as high tolerance or withdrawal symptoms, are nevertheless in danger of crossing the line into dependence.
Yet it may be difficult to encourage people at any stage of a drinking problem to seek help, owing to a combination of denial, stigma, and other barriers to care. Offering counseling on moderation may help convince some problem drinkers to seek help before they suffer painful consequences.
Dr. Thomas W. Irwin, program director of the McLean Center at Fernside, a residential drug and alcohol program affiliated with McLean Hospital, described a standard clinical approach for working with patients to determine whether moderation or abstinence makes the most sense when trying to address an alcohol problem.
Severity predicts relapse
Research into moderate or "controlled" drinking has shown that this strategy can be successful for patients who have not yet developed a pervasive pattern of alcohol abuse, or who have experienced few negative consequences from drinking. It also helps to be young, female, employed, in a stable social situation, and confident about moderating intake. The goal is to help patients set goals and drinking limits before they cross the line into dependence.
But the research shows clearly that moderation is unlikely to be successful for patients who already meet criteria for dependence, whether defined by the DSM-IV or by a variety of assessment tools.
One study, for example, followed the outcomes of drinkers for three to eight years after they participated in behavioral self-control training, a therapy designed to instill moderate drinking behavior. The researchers found that as severity of dependence increases, likelihood of patients' being able to reduce their drinking to moderate levels, and keep it there, goes down dramatically (see table). For the most dependent drinkers, abstinence may be the only option.
Symptom severity predicts alcohol treatment outcomes
As severity of alcohol dependence increases, the likelihood of being able to continue drinking moderately for an extended period decreases, according to a study that followed outcomes three to eight years after treatment.
Moderation as motivation
Moderation can be used, however, to motivate patients to change.
Many patients are ambivalent about giving up alcohol, even though they recognize that dependence is straining their marriages or jeopardizing their jobs. The sad reality is that alcohol has become so integral to their existence that they can't imagine what life would be like without it. A patient who expresses a desire to start drinking in a more controlled way is indicating a desire to change a behavior. Motivational interviewing can help patients progress toward change. With this technique, clients set the agenda, and the therapist acts as a partner in dialogue rather than an authority.
Demanding abstinence too soon may just end up driving away a patient who is at the brink of dealing with addiction more directly. When a patient expresses a desire to moderate drinking, it can alert the clinician to a teachable moment. Patients who try to limit drinking for a while and find they are unable to do so may then realize that they have already developed dependence. This may be enough to motivate them to try to abstain.
Sources:
Miller WR, et al. "Long-Term Follow-Up of Behavioral Self-Control Training," Journal of Studies of Alcohol (May 1992): Vol. 53, No. 3, pp. 249–61.
Rosenberg H. "Prediction of Controlled Drinking by Alcoholics and Problem Drinkers," Psychological Bulletin (Jan. 1993): Vol. 113, No. 1, pp. 129–39.
Walitzer KS, et al. "Treating problem drinking," Alcohol Research and Health (1999): Vol. 23, No. 2, pp. 138–43. -
Can't recall last night's inspired karaoke performance? Here's what a blackout does to your brain and body.
By Rich Maloof for MSN Health & Fitness
We ask a lot of our brains.
We expect them to keep us alive and alert with little to no maintenance. Even on little sleep and a steady diet of Twinkies, the brain will regulate the body's systems, calculate trigonometric equations, and remind you to call your mother on her birthday. We can't say as much for a car, a computer, or even the rest of the body, which needs to be cleaned and clothed and taken out for a walk. Yet without so much as an oil change, a healthy brain ably carries out its countless, complex functions.
One of the few ways we can flummox the thing is to saturate the blood with alcohol. First there is the speech slurring and vision blurring, then the compromised decision-making and loss of balance. Eventually, consuming too much alcohol craters the brain's memory. A regular drinker can develop a tolerance to the other effects, but not to memory loss.
"It's one of those rare scientific issues relating to the brain that we actually understand well," says Aaron M. White, Ph.D., professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Duke University Medical Center and author of Keeping Adolescence Healthy (BookSurge Publishing, 2008). White explains that the hippocampus, a small region approximately even with your temples, is where the brain sorts information to be recorded into short-term, long-term, or skill-oriented memory (hippocampus is Latin for "sea horse," and it's indeed shaped like the little creature).
"When the hippocampus is working right, it takes everything in your environment and all the thoughts in your brain to create a recording of your life," says White. "But alcohol essentially shuts down the hippocampus. After several drinks you still have enough function for short-term memory. You can have conversations, order another drink at the bar, and recall events from before the hippocampus was shut off. But what you can't do is create new memories reliably."
So, when you wake up the next morning in your own bed (maybe) and someone describes your elaborate karaoke performance the night before, you can't remember singing "Eye of the Tiger" because your brain never made the memory you're trying to recall.
For about four of every five people who report an alcohol-induced blackout, the memory loss is fragmentary. In such instances, the hippocampus records intermittently, failing for short periods before temporarily coming back online. The remaining 20 percent of people experience a comprehensive "en bloc" blackout. En bloc blackouts are most common when the blood alcohol concentration is rapidly escalated, as from guzzling beer or doing shots (especially on an empty stomach), and the memory loss is complete after a specific point in time.
Think of your hippocampus like a TiVo box. During an en bloc blackout, the television show—that is, your evening of drinking—continues to play but the signal is never recorded on TiVo's hard drive. The nature of the drama plays no part in your capability to remember the next day: whether the onscreen action involves wrecking a car or making scrambled eggs, there is simply no playback available.
America's drinking population consumes more than 100 billion servings of beer, wine and spirits every year, and few of those people are immune to alcohol-induced memory deprivation. The saving grace for adults who black out is that the hippocampus usually recovers with no permanent damage. However, that reassurance comes with a few caveats.
For one, drinking heavily for days on end, as many young people do on spring break, can actually kill brain cells. Second, some research suggests that shutting down the hippocampus by drinking causes its cells to become super-active the next day in a chaotic, rather than productive, way; so you may do no real damage while drinking, but brain circuits may fry during a hangover. Finally, and frighteningly, the hippocampus is known to be smaller in teenagers who drink compared to their peers who consume little or no booze.
Nonetheless, says White, "In the typical adult, the real damage you're doing is to your liver, to your productivity the next day, to your self-esteem, and to your social relationships. You can probably shut off the hippocampus for a night without doing any significant damage to the brain. But you can really screw up your life doing stupid stuff."
Said another way, brain function can be recovered after a night of over-imbibing. But you can only recover as much as you had in the first place. -
Respected seer and prophet of the future, Nostradamus has made a number of predictions for the year 2010, and some of them seem to be fairly likely at this point. If the French apothecary was indeed correct about 2010, it would not be the first time he had accurately predicted the future. In his own lifetime he predicted several events that would come to pass before his very eyes, including the death of Henry the Second. In later years he would predict several world changing events including the Chicago fire and World War II. But what does he have to say about 2010?
According to the 2010 prophecy a mysterious virgin will suddenly die. Who could this be? Of course in the fifteenth century, virgin often would refer to a beautiful woman rather than someone who had not engaged in intercourse. Of course this makes the prophecy exceedingly vague as the death of any number of people could result in this prophecy turning out to be true. However, the Virgin Group Ltd owned by Richard Branson could ultimately succumb to the economic hardships of the global recession. Alternately, the other virgin well known is the Virgin Mary of the Christian tradition. But the prophecy also says the virgin’s death will be widely wanted, which doesn’t narrow it down much.
Of course he also speaks of problems with trade, which is a fairly safe bet. Though the economy has been “recovering” it has been doing so for a little over half a year with little appreciable sign aside from people generally getting used to the new higher prices. Another economic downturn would obviously be bad as banks declare bankruptcy all over. Of course specifically the prophecy dictates problems with trade, meaning difficulty exchanging goods. This could also mean shortages, inflation, disruption of trade lines, pirates, etc.
There’s also speak of a leader who will rise up who will be “heartless and bloodthirsty” and who will rule the world with a furious sword and fire. Sword is likely symbolic of power and destruction, but the fire may be more symbolic of actual consumption of resources as well. Fire could also be symbolic of literal fire which could be implemented as a means of controlling disease or possibly destroying old establishments as a major regime shift takes place. Elections in 2010 will be interesting to watch.
Of course the most terrifying quatrain pertaining to 2010 is the one referring to “Satan’s arch of fury” which could be an intercontinental ballistic missile, possibly nuclear in nature. There is also one interpretation that indicates that 2010 could be the year that World War III breaks out, although it doesn’t seem likely given the attention paid by Nostradamus to the first two world wars. Still, according to Nostradamus 2010 will be a bumpy ride. Of course if we intervene to build a better world, can we ever say our lives are predetermined and set in stone?
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One of the best known prophets and predictors of the future was a woman from bulgaria named Baba Vanga. Many follow her predictions from year to year and the internet is buzzing with analysis of what she sees coming in 2010.
From the looks of things, Baba Vanga's outlook for this year was not optimistic. She seems to have predicted the beginning of World war 3, right around the end of this year. It is said to be war that will go on for 3 or 4 more years, apparently ending in nuclear conflict. Do you believe this stuff, or do you think it's a bunch of hooey? I'm going to hope people are just reading it wrong, and she was really saying that the Treacherous 3 are coming back, with a new allbum. We need less war and more old school rappers.
2010 - The start of WWIII. The war will begin in November of 2010 and will end in October of 2014. Will start as a normal war, then will include usage of nuclear and chemical weapons.
2011 - Due to the radioactive showers in Northern Hemisphere - no animals or plants will be left. Muslims will begin chemical war against Europeans who are still alive. -
...privileges if you keep this up.
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Igor Panarin, diplomatic professor in Russia's Ministry of Foreign Affairs, created a stir in November when he predicted that the troubled economy would cause the United States of America to collapse by spring 2009. Now the Russian foreign policy expert
has moved the predicted U.S. collapse date forward to 2010 and cited new reasons for the country's projected demise.
Panarin, who is known as an information warfare specialist, has long believed that the United States will fail. Panarin first went public with his pessimistic prognostications in 1998. Interestingly enough, back then his predicted collapse timetable called for the US breakup as early as autumn 2009. In November, with the U.S. and world economies nosediving, Panarin startled the world with a grim prediction, published in Izvestia, that the US breakup was imminent. Due to widespread dissatisfaction with the economic crisis, the US would splinter into 6 distinct nations, as early as spring 2009, Panarin predicted.
With spring about to bloom and Panarin's original prediction not close to fruition, Panarin issued a revised prediction Tuesday. The Russian foreign policy expert told students, professors, diplomats and invited press corps representatives at the Russian Diplomatic Academy that the breakup will occur before 2011. Panarin said President Obama will impose martial law on the citizens of the U.S. this year preceding the breakup.
According to Panarin, Russia and China will lead the world once the U.S. collapses.
Panarin's evidence is somewhat general, based in part on a conclusion that the U.S. is in a state of moral decline. Panarin referred to school shootings, prison statistics, and the number of gay men as evidence of the country's alleged moral decline. Panarin's other evidence of impending collapse is the U.S. financial situation, particularly its declining stature as a world economic force.
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There are many psychics and soothsayers out there who try every year to give predictions of the future. But one who stands out, as perhaps the scariest, is one named Sylvia Brown, who has predicted some very dire things for America.
Brown, who is apparently very well known among psychics and their adherents, predicted a steep rise in cancer among children. And though she did not specify a year, and only said it would be between 2008 and 2020, she also predicts that a President elected somewhere in that time span will die of a heart attack, AND that the vice President that replaces him or her will then be assassinated. According to Brown's prediction, the assassination will coincide with to the new president's plans to invade North Korea.
On the plus (though equally hard to believe) side, Sylvia also says the common cold will be cured in the next year or so. -
If someone has to take the Wiki bullet, let it be me. I'm heroic like that.This is information The Pedalback NEEDS to know!
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The 2010 edition of the Farmers’ Almanac warns that this winter’s frigid forecast offers no respite, especially for states in the center of the country. “Very cold and bitterly cold” is how the 2010 Farmers’ Almanac describes the winter in the Great Lakes, Plains, and South Central states, while temperatures on the East and West Coasts will be more in line with average to normal winter conditions. For residents of the East Coast, who bore most of the brunt of last winter’s fury, this may be good news.
While nearly three-quarters of the country is expected to experience near or below average precipitation this winter, significant snowfalls are forecast for parts of every zone. Residents of Mid-Atlantic and Northeast states can expect some a major snowfall in mid-February, with possible blizzard conditions in New England. -
Derived from the Greek turos, meaning "cheese," and manteia, meaning "devination," it is the art and practice of divining the future by interpreting omens found in cheese.In the Middle Ages seers consulted the shape, the number of holes and the patterns of mold in cheese to make predictions about love, money or death. Young country maidens would guess their husbands by writing the names of all the prospective suitors on separate pieces of cheeses and watching to see which piece grew mold first, signifying the ideal mate. Or they could just put the cheese pieces into a rat's cage and see which the rodent ate first. (My guess on this one, is that it'd be easier to rig. If Shirley of Essex though Bobby The Ironswork Boy was the dreamiest, she could just put the piece with his name on it nearest the rat.)Another method of tyromancy depends on interpreting the designs formed by the coagulation of liquid into cheese.So far, no famous Tyromancers have come forward with their predictions for the new year and decade. They might still be in fierce debate with the gastromancers - prognosticators who get their visions from listening to stomach noises. Maybe, from listening to the bellies of moldy-cheese stuffed rats.
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It's the thrill of the fightRising up to the challenge of our rivalAccording to Chinese astrology, the year 2010 would be the Year of the Tiger and the cycle would begin on February 14, 2010 and would come to an end on February 2, 2011. The Year of the Metal Tiger is said to bring in prosperity as well as ushers in many other positive transformations.
The Tiger represents the third sign in the Chinese Zodiac, which comprises of 12 animal signs. According to the ancient Chinese mythology, Tiger symbolizes courage and it plays a pivotal role in keeping away the three prime disturbances of a household which include fire, thieves and ghosts. At the same time, this year being at the Year of the Metal Tiger, it is being predicted that the Tiger would add the element of courage and the metal part would provide the necessary determination and resolve to achieve the goal that are set for the year. Moreover, the Chinese astrology has described the Year of the Tiger to be ‘tumultuous, hard working and vigorous year.’
Generally, people who are born in the Year of the Tiger are often described as sensitive, clever, emotional, fearless as well as rebellious. Moreover, such people are also characterized for their natural leadership skills and are known to be immensely competitive. At the same time, they are also inhibited by nature and are capable of great love and sympathy.
Some of the noted personalities who are known to have born in the Year of the Tiger include, Emily Dickinson, Marilyn Monroe, Tom Cruise, Karl Marx, Queen Elizabeth II, Emily Bronte, Jay Leno,among others.
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The guitarist founded Steeleye Span, an English folk-rock band.
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http://tinyurl.com/ye8wut8
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http://tinyurl.com/ycjumhl
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http://tinyurl.com/yepar2bCreationists around the South are now working to photoshop a picture to suggest the existence of The Hand of God.
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http://tinyurl.com/yd674bgIt's all a plot by producers of "A Very ceRTAin blockbusteR™," so they can claim a long run at the top of the box office charts.
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Needs another A.
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Hard to believe, but movie theaters have been holding their own, despite intense competition from cable, the Internet and other media. After a 2005 slump, box office revenue increased over the past few years, and it's likely 2009 will have set a new record. But that growth is due largely to inflation; the number of tickets bought has stayed close to 1.4 billion since 2005, while the average ticket price has climbed from $6.41 to $7.46.
Looking for new ways to make money, theaters are exploring options like more in-house advertising and expanded concessions. But the biggest potential lies in digital technology and the flexibility it affords programming. For starters, events like live opera or college bowl games can draw 75 percent capacity on slow days, when theaters are usually "lucky to fill 10 percent of their seats," says Richard Herring, consultant for Davidson Theaters in Virginia. The trend is still young: Just a quarter of the more than 375 theaters using digital-projection company Cinedigm's technology, for example, are set up to show live events, but that number is growing quickly. Eventually, says Herring, as much as half a theater's revenue could come from this type of special programming.[3-D immersive opera. Is that the future you have in mind, Cheeses?] -
Theaters are drawing a bigger portion of their revenue these days from the on-screen advertising shown before the previews start. Revenue from these ads has been increasing by roughly 10 to 15 percent a year for the past several years, says Patrick Corcoran, spokesperson for the National Association of Theater Owners, and it's not going away anytime soon. That's because industry insiders rely on surveys like the one conducted in 2003 by marketing firm Arbitron that found two-thirds of audience members didn't mind them.
Some moviegoers do mind, of course-more than 3,400 of them cared enough to sign a recent online petition demanding Regal Cinemas stop showing ads before movies. "I'm wondering why ticket prices are going up, and we're being forced to watch these ads at the same time," says Jason Thompson, who started the petition after growing frustrated with sitting through a string of ads before showtime. "The preshow presentation has been a part of theater exhibition for many years," says Dick Westerling, senior VP of marketing and advertising at Regal. What's more, thanks to digital technology, the preshow has become "more upscale and attractive."[Coming soon! Motion-captured cola bottles! It'll be like they're actually standing there! Wait until The National Guard gets a hold of Cameron-tech.] -
you may be in luck."
Special-events programming isn't the only change digital technology may be ushering into your local cineplex. It also makes film distribution cheaper and easier, thus potentially opening up more opportunities for independent filmmakers to get their work screened. "It's like a big iPod," explains Cinedigm CEO Bud Mayo. Movies are shipped on hard drives or downloaded from a satellite, without the cost or inconvenience of transporting heavy film canisters, and the theater can cue them up with the click of a mouse. That means theater owners can set up their schedules by "trial and error," says Lauren Goffio, manager of the Pavilion Park Slope theater in Brooklyn, N.Y.
The trend toward digital could also mean a move away from blockbusters. Hollywood has been offering mass-market products while most industries are directing specialized products to smaller groups, says Rashi Glazer, professor of marketing at the University of California, Berkeley: "The one-size-fits-all approach is the past, it's not the future." And digital lowers "the barrier of entry," since distribution is no longer an expense to be reckoned with, says Corcoran.[Nah. This'll never happen. X-MEN ORIGINS: THE FEATHERS ON ANGEL'S WINGS will still open on seventeen of your 19 screens.] -
you didn't come on opening night."
Contrary to the way Hollywood considers opening-weekend box office numbers the ultimate test of a movie's success, theaters themselves are far less worried about packing the house for new releases. That's because they pay a percentage of ticket sales as a fee to studios, and the cut is typically bigger earlier in a film's run.
How does it work? Studios negotiate separate agreements with each theater chain for each film, so the conditions vary. But generally speaking, theaters pay somewhere between 35 and 70 percent of box office receipts to the studio as a film-rental fee, says consultant Herring. In most cases, the studio takes the biggest cut in the first week, and the percentage drops from there. "If you have a movie like Titanic that lasts for months and months, that's what we all dream about," says Bruce Taffet, the owner of The Pearl Theatre at Avenue North, in Philadelphia. He says that by the third or fourth week of a given film's run, the exhibitor begins paying lower film-rental fees to the studio. Unfortunately for theater operators, "most movies don't last that long," Taffet says.[Meaning, those seventeen screens reserved for X-MEN ORIGINS: KITTY PRYDE'S TITTIES that stay empty for the rest of the week are actually costing the cinema money.] -
Noticed lately that the moviegoing experience has become a lot more, well, experiential? It's a result of theaters including more "premium experience" screenings in their lineup, including the use of IMAX and updated 3-D technology. And the trend seems to be accelerating. Regal Cinemas, for one, had 168 digital 3-D screens out of a total 6,782 screens nationwide by the end of 2008 and plans to up that number to 1,500 in the next few years. Meanwhile, about 175 Regal theaters have installed IMAX in the past six years, with more than half of those within the past year.
The lure is profit, naturally: After initial upgrades and outlays-such as special screens and IMAX's imaging process-theaters can charge $2 to $3 more for these tickets. And customers like it, says IMAX CEO Rich Gelfond; he cites 2009's Star Trek, for which IMAX made up 2 percent of total screens but 12 percent of box office over a two-week period. Similarly, 3-D screenings have won up to half the total audience for films like Pixar's Up. But Glazer chalks up the excitement to novelty, since "the films themselves don't particularly have anything to commend them compared to others."[At least, some one admits it.] -
Jan 01, 2010 12:32:30 PM CST
6. "Concessions are so profitable, it's ridiculous..."
by subtitles_off
Recessions com and go, but it seems concessions are here to stay. The average amount each customer spends at the candy stand keeps heading steadily upward, from $2.51 in 2004 to $3.09 in 2008. In fact, for major theater chains, concessions typically account for about a quarter of total revenue. So how is it that theaters get away with charging as much as $10.50 for a large popcorn and soda? First and foremost, movie concessions are a monopoly, since most theaters don't allow patrons to bring in outside food or beverages. (It's "not a requirement" to buy popcorn when you go to the movies, says Corcoran, of the National Association of Theater Owners. "People who want concessions can order them or not.")
But there's also an important emotional component, says Richard McKenzie, professor of economics at the University of California-Irvine and the author of Why Popcorn Costs So Much at the Movies. When you buy Junior Mints or another favorite treat, you're buying a piece of the moviegoing experience, along with "the opportunity to laugh with a crowd and everything else people go to the movies for," McKenzie says.[If theaters can't make money off the films, they gotta make their profits somewhere.] -
SOME THEATER owners are trying alternative concessions, offering menus that include more than the usual candy and popcorn fare, and even serving alcohol at some locations. For example, Regal Cinemas partners with Cinebarre at five venues serving beer, wine, mixed drinks, appetizers, burgers and pizza. And while there are only about 400 theaters across the country that serve liquor, the numbers have been slowly but steadily increasing. Terrell Braly, CEO of Cinebarre, says his company will expand to 20 theaters by 2011.
But that doesn't mean your local multiplex will be adding a bar anytime soon. There are inherent problems with serving drinks at the movies-for one thing, it precludes teenage audiences, a key demographic for many theaters. There was even resistance from studios until the late '90s, says Corcoran, including refusal to allow first-run films to be shown in theaters serving alcohol, for fear patrons wouldn't pay attention. Braly says Cinebarre has proved it can deliver the same quality of viewing experience as a traditional chain and says leaving out teenagers isn't a flaw in the business plan, it's a boon to adult patrons by removing "the middle-school mafia."[We'd already have bars in all cinemas if the films weren't all aimed at juveniles. Another good reason to hate on the upcoming NAMOR and BOOSTER GOLD trilogies.] -
doesn't bother us that much."
We've all been there: sitting in the theater, our attention consumed by the drama unfolding on screen-only to have the spell broken by a ringing cell phone or the distracting glow of a text message. And with the cultural shift toward personal technology well under way, such disturbances are becoming a regular part of the theater experience, says Toon van Beeck, senior analyst at market-research firm IBISWorld. "People are so glued to their cell phones that it's become a big problem for theaters," he says.
A major check on theaters attempting to police these and other sorts of audience disturbances is the fear of customer backlash, says van Beeck. Movie houses don't want to lose younger audiences-who are primarily responsible for disruptions-by cracking down too hard. "But they've got to at least show the baby boomers that they're trying," says van Beeck. Kerasotes Theatres, a Midwest chain with 94 theaters, has taken steps toward offering an escape from rowdy crowds with its "enchanted evening" policy. At select locations on Friday and Saturday nights, no one under the age of 17 is permitted without an adult into movies that start after 9 p.m. The policy, says a spokesperson for Kerasotes, is intended to get people to attend the movies as a family. "When Mom and Dad are around, everyone tends to be on their best behavior."[There was fear the non-smoking laws would cut down on night-club and restaurant attendance, too. Surprising, sometimes, how many people are willing to crawl back out from under their self-imposed rock once society stops excusing the annoying habits of a specific niche.] -
to your hearing."
Movies sure can get loud, but could they actually be harmful to your ears? Individual theaters' decibel levels vary, but special effects-laden action flicks, for example, can hit the same dangerous territory as a loud rock concert, thus potentially contributing to hearing loss, according to the Center for Hearing and Communication. In fact, any sustained noise over 85 decibels (roughly the level of city traffic) can damage your hearing, says Amy Boyle, director of public education for the center.
"We've received complaints" about noise level in movie theaters, but those who have taken it up with theater staff "have been met with resistance," says Boyle. If you're concerned about volume, you can buy a sound level meter at retailers like RadioShack to measure the decibels around you. Meanwhile, if you experience any ringing in your ears after seeing a movie, then that means it was too loud. "Remember, even the sounds that we like can be damaging to our hearing," she says.[I lost most of my hearing from cuddling with the amplifiers at The Who concerts. This one is for the rest of you to worry about or not.] -
to go to the movies in February."
Moviegoing has traditionally been a seasonal activity. According to Herring, theaters bring in 40 percent of their yearly revenue in just three months: May, June and July. The winter holidays are another big period for box office revenue, while spring and fall have been dumping grounds for low-budget movies and potential flops. But things are slowly changing, as studios seek to spread their quality releases more evenly throughout the year. With the old calendar in flux, some smaller films are debuting with less competition and doing far better than expected.
Last year's surprise late-January hit Mall Cop, for instance, would probably not have been as successful had it been released in the summer against bigger films, Herring says. Indeed, we've started seeing more major releases off season in the past few years, says Alan Stock, CEO of the Cinemark theater chain. For example, September 2009 brought the release of family film Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. And if the trend continues, moviegoers might eventually see some high-caliber films come out in the dead zone of the major-release calendar: the postholiday doldrums of January and February.[Yeah, more MALL COPS all year long. THAT'S what is needed!] -
http://tinyurl.com/yllf2zc
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I TiVoed VH-1's "100 Most Shocking Music Moments" and found out that one of the Three Dog Night guys fucked so many groupies, his dick RIPPED IN TWO! Jebus®!
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where two muscleheads were doing donkey calf raises while a third spotted.Then I checked, everybody else in the place was looking at their feet or staring at the wall on the other side of the room. It was hilarious!The guy on the bottom was groaning and grunting louder and louder with each rep because he was really feeling the burn, and the spotter was practically shouting encouragement.I had to run into the locker room to bust out laughing because I'm sure if I hadn't I'd've drawn so much attention to myself they would have had no choice but to beat me up.
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http://tinyurl.com/chap3gOuch!
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They kills em with the love! They kills em with the love!
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But I really was feeling the burn!
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http://tinyurl.com/y86zns6
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Batman over Kingpin. Captain over Shang-Chi. Batman for the win, or else 'Lop's never gonna hear the end of it from me. Super serum = steroids. Steroids = cheating. Cheaters never win in made-up fantasy superhero battles.The logic is inarguable.
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if it's the Tour De France or MLB's Home Run Derby.
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...I think Bats should be doing the juice now and again. Seriously, he is a super-hero/crime fighter, not a pro-athlete. Why the hell doesn't he use some sort of performance enhancement drugs? It isn't like their is some sort of moral code or going against the spirit of the game of super-heroics if he did. The guys a friggin' vigilante already.
Batman being completely "clean" is just one of those things were people confuse sports heroes with super-heroes: different rules and a different world. -
Yeah Bruce Wayne is up all night and parties everyday. Drugs have gotta be in the equation somewhere. perhaps for the next reboot. rdj even gave holmes a coke habit.
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One of my problems with SHERLOCK HOLMES is that they didn't give Holmes a coke habit. The infamous 7-per-cent solution (the cocaine mix that Holmes shoots himself up with in the stories) is never mentioned in the films. No, instead they insinuate he is high on the pain medication from Dr. Watson's medical bag ("You know what you just took is used for eye surgery, don't you?).
Next movie I want to see RDJ's Holmes stick a needle in his arm like Travolta did in PULP FICTION, God damn it! -
And the other Pedalbackers, hope you all had a fun New Year's Eve.
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L'ENFANT (The Child)2005. French. Subtitled.Directed by Jean-Pierre and Luc DardenneIn their follow-up to THE SON, the brother directors focus their unsentimental camera on an unformed, amoral, immature street-thief who carelessly tries to sell his infant son to gangsters simply because the opportunity presents itself. The consequences of retrieving the baby for its enraged mother are as surprising - and thrilling - as they are unadorned with flash. Of AVATAR I have said, it has nothing to teach us of the real-world human condition. Of this film I would say, it has nearly everything; yet, it strictly requires we apply our own conclusions. "6" out of 5 stars.
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And it led to Alfred nearly being eaten by a shark. Batman knows their are no short-cuts to justice. He, also, is no Tool of The Man.
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Ebert called it "revisionist." If I'm recalling your review rightly, you didn't have too much trouble with the liberties that Ritchie took (the missing seven-percent solution, aside). Not implying you should re-think your review, at all, but I'd be interested in your take on Ebert's point-of-view.I still haven't seen it. I never read Conan Doyle, so I think I'd probably be okay with the movie, as a movie. Maybe even really enjoy it, if it didn't look from previews to be so damned hyper. This speaks to my theory on why I can enjoy something like SPIDER-MAN or X-MEN II and yet despise Nolan's Batman - degree of familiarity, or, better, investment with the source material. But, you're as familiar with Conan Doyle, I think, as Ebert may be and still able to value Ritchie's re-interpretation.I'm only interested in this as a way of formulating my own understanding of how we currently relate to adaptations. Since you're someone whose tastes I appreciate, even when we do not agree, I wanted to engage you about it.
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to Ebert's review. D'oh!http://tinyurl.com/yevlpcz
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and I liked the movie well enough. Didn't much care for Strong as the villain and thought he would be much more interesting if his plan didn't involve taking over "First London...then THE WORLD!!". I also probably would have liked it more if I wasn't suffering from an excruciating migraine about 20 minutes into it. I don't think that particular ailment was caused by the movie though.
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You'd think one of them would realize that if they took over the world, London'd be included. They've got to learn to commit, these guys. They're always gonna get busted during the trial run, as long as they give the chance.
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Avatar in that last post. Okay everyone, now let's all play along and pretend I said that last sentence like this. "I don't think that particular ailment was caused by the movie though....unlike that puddle of stale vomit Avatar." There. That's better.
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They let me do it, well, because none of them truly gives a Michael Clarke Duncan squat® what I think anyway. i think you should substitute "stale" with "colorful," though, and maybe you can get it past the bouncer like a hot seventeener with great big norks.
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He's resigned, stepped down from being Cap on several occasions, and many times refused direct orders or commands from the Government. Hell, in the Marvel U he uncovered Nixon's secrets and led him to commit suicide (of course, in Marvel, he was doing a lot worse than just sending the plumbers to Watergate).
Not to get all Cap defensive, but what I love about him is he a great symbol of the WWII generation and New Deal Idealism. He pleaded to join the Army before Pearl Harbor not because of some sort of jingoism, but because he was truly outraged and disgusted what the Nazis were doing in Europe. He recognized them as an existential threat to the US and our allies and that sooner or later we would have to face their ilk. Like America before the war, he was weak and feeble (that is how America saw its economy and military), but became strong and powerful (which represented the American people's faith that we could produce the type of soldiers and military to fight the Germans and Japanese if push came to shove). Just like Superman represented a power wish fulfillment fantasy for immigrants, Captain America represented the idea that despite how grim the world looked, America would overcome it.
Cap also never profited from his gift, realizing that many good men died for him to have it and that he had an obligation to those who did to use this blessing for the benefit of others. Cap also isn't a nationalist (unless your name is Millar) but a patriot in the same light as George Orwell and his great essay on the subject. He respects all countries and people as long as they in turn respect human rights and basic liberties, as demonstrated by his attitude and treatment towards the French, the British, the Canadians, and even the Japanese and the Germans after the war. He doesn't believe America is perfect, but instead insist we strive to become so.
Cap is no tool, just like Batman is no fascist. -
Couldve sworn I saw him take a quick sniff early in the film. Then again that also happened in basterds so maybe I got them mixed
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Who I have a lot of respect for and have a signed autograph book by (him and Gene Siskel are the two people probably most responsible for this kid from a blue collar family in the Midwest loving movies) but I think he needs to reread his Sherlock Holmes. Yes, it is revisionism, but revisionism from the earlier movies, not so much the books. I would call this a "reinterpretation" from the books - Ritchie and company find the things that were mentioned in the books that were never really explored before, and not just the martial arts.
Take for example his idea that Holmes is fastidious. Yes, in one story he is mentioned to be as "clean as a cat" but in many other stories Watson always mention how disheveled he looks and how he doesn't keep up his appearance - his hands are even stained by acid from experiments. And his room has always been described as a mess, with brick-a-brack and papers everywhere, but with an odd sorting system that only he can figure out.
The plot, however, is pure pulp. It has more in common with Doc Savage and the Shadow than it does with Holmes, IMO. -
I don't remember him snorting anything, but I might see it again with some friends. I'm not saying he DIDN"T us coke in the movie, I am just saying they didn't explicitly say or show him using it (although how hyper he was with the flies, I imagine he was on some sort of upper like Coke).
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now that you mention it 6DB. He was also very hyper at times though with RDJ you can never really whether that was supposed to be attribuatable to some off-screen snowblowing or Downey just being himself.
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...not that anyone cares at this point. I don’t normally do this sort of thing, but I was a vocal AVATAR skeptic…I mostly just voiced my concerns about what I was seeing and hearing in the trailers and clips, but I did fire off the occasional flippant or derogatory remark if it seemed funny or cool enough.
I was wrong.
My only major beef is with the staggeringly incompetent and hopefully soon unemployed person who decided to put any and all questionable material in the trailers and promotional clips. The Charging The Bear scene was hopelessly cliché and has been beaten to death…but at two minutes in a nearly three hour move the irritation it caused was like a tablespoon of vinegar in an ocean of champagne…hardly worth mentioning. Dialogue that sounded corny and trite in the trailer made perfect sense in context. That villain absolutely would say things like “we’re not in Kansas anymore” just as much as he would say things like “hold your position” or “target at six o’clock”…that’s part of what made him villainous…that’s who that guy was, having him spout creatively evil Shakespearian metaphors would have been out of character.
A lot has been made of the familiar and/or stolen plot. Stealing is a dangerous game…it’s a big gamble and you better know what you’re doing. And Cameron did steal. Cameron stole not just from DANCES WITH WOLVES and FERN GULLY and the rest…he stole from the best of everything. He stole from Edgar Rice Burroughs, Jules Verne, Robert E. Howard, H. G. Wells and all the old pulp writers…he stole from BRAVEHEART and old classic war movies, he stole from LAST OF THE MOHICANS…I’m sure he stole from countless sources I’m not familiar with. Maybe I’m getting carried away here, but that kind of stealing doesn’t just get a pass…that kind of stealing is what art is made of. AVATAR rapes pillages and plunders all of storydom and mixes up a thousand recognizable influences into something I haven’t quite seen before.
I’ve read tens of thousands of words about AVATAR at this point, and even the harshest critics acknowledge that the visuals are impressive. I was completely unprepared for what I saw on Pandora. It took me a while to settle in, but by the time night fell and the bioluminescence that looked so cheesy on TV kicked in I was frankly a bit emotional at the majesty of what I was seeing. I’ve only had feelings like that on top of real mountains, in real forests, or in cathedrals in Europe…spine tingling awe and wonder.
A few effects were a little less amazing than others (the horses were the weakest animation) but hardly worth mentioning in light of the overall experience. Our hero’s disability and his wonder and glee at his new body was far more effective and moving than I imagined it would be and fit perfectly with my humbled exhilaration in Pandora’s jungle. Of all the familiar and re-mixed elements in AVATAR something I have never seen is a twelve foot alien that I now love cradling the broken and crippled body of her mate…seeing him as for the puny human he is…and loving all of him for real for the first time.
Strangely, as much as I loved it, I don’t feel an urge to see AVATAR again anytime soon unless it’s to share the experience with someone who hasn’t been yet. I certainly won’t see it in 2D. I have argued that a good movie shouldn’t rely on effects...that it should be just as good in 2D as in 3. Maybe, but I was on Pandora…I was there for real…and I don’t want to see a flat imitation on my TV at home.
Anyone reading this will be able to tell that I just got back and am still riding the high. I would probably be more measured in my praise tomorrow, and I will probably regret this post tomorrow. and I promise I will go back to poo flicking as soon as possible…but I'm a humbled skeptic. Avatar was one of the high points of my theatergoing life.
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Just when you thought the worst was over.
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...I'll be back to normal tomorrow. And I'll be kicking myself for getting all fucking sentimental.
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Grab a guiness and start slapping bitcheswarning:the use of guiness doesn't cause bitch slapping
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one must follow their heart. I'm just starting to feel so disillusioned. I was so sure it was garbage....now I just don't know anymore. I just don't get the love for this. If any more of my Comrades fall I will watch it again and pray that I like it this time.
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...maybe that will help...gotta fuck up your blood sugar a bit.
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Together through righteous badassness. I saw in another TB LaserPants was testifying on it's behalf. Praise the Cam. Hallelujah.
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That was EXACTLY the way I felt about Avatar…Great review…And don’t be surprised when you feel even more excited about it tomorrow…
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and I have to say...I was disappointed.
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Drinking is really simple…One beer or drink per hour. If you start drinking at 2 pm and have to be at work or somewhere where you do not want to appear to be drunk, at 7 AM the next day, then you have 17 hours. The human body processes one beer per hour. If you consume 16 beers and eat a pizza, you are a real lightweight if you still feel bad at 7 AM. I’m not sayin’…I’m just sayin’…This system helped me pass breathalyzers…
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...thanks...it felt weird to post something with no poo on it at all...I was a little hung over this morning and I accidentally skipped lunch...maybe I had an out of body experience or something...
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In IMAX!!!!
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Avatar…2009...Directed by James Cameron…
:by Cheeses_of_Nazareth Dec 21st, 2009
09:09:04 PM Spoilers await below…
I am not a TRUE movie aficionado…I never will be…What constitutes a great movie is beyond me. I only know what I like…and, I DO know…I have never been able to justify spending my hard earned money to watch movies about people’s real life problems or experiences. I have enough problems and human experience to last 3 or 4 lifetimes, so I have never felt the need to watch films about borrowed real life issues and problems from other people. Stuff like Kramer vs. Kramer, Terms of Endearment or whatever just don’t hold my interest anymore on the screen than they do in my real life…
No… I go to the movies to see something I am never going to see in my real life…Tonight I saw exactly that…
Cameron’s Pandora is a place I would love to visit but never will…except for at the Movies…This was a wonderful experience at the theatre for me and, my 24 year old daughter who went with me, loved it as much if not more than I did…there are some wonderful scenes in this thing…Pretty much everything with the banshee dragon riding made me feel like a kid again…the way I felt when Luke and Biggs first tried to blow up the Death Star and dove into the cgi canyons…
The entire experience was highly entertaining…Bad-ass villains…Noble ‘savages’…Conflicted protagonists…Metal tech vs. bow and arrow and a whole planet…Flying dragons and wild packs of lizard dogs…
As for the 3-d…I was sold as soon as Sully came out hiber-sleep…all those cryo-beds and Zero-Gee Med-techs jumping from bed to bed in the background…I knew this would be good…Never once did I doubt the integrity of the 3-d process…these new cameras of Cameron’s are great…Sigourney Weaver looks bizarre but spectacular as an Avatar. The only part I thought ’cartoonish’ was when Jake first left the compound running in the school… Na’vi in human clothes was a bit jarring at first…I thought I was watching ‘Planet 51’ for a second there…
Acting…
Sully…dull and boring as a human…much better in his alter ego…
Ripley…exactly the opposite..
Colonel Scarface…Top Notch…best Villain of the year…
Problems…
Floating Mountains with water falling from them…I’m assuming there was a scene or comment that was edited out that explained why there was a gravity zone that interfered with human electromagnetic systems and made mountains float…’Course since Pandora is alive, maybe that is just something she does with her magnetic fields…
Six legged horses run funny…so I wasn’t sure if the cgi was faulty or if it was the way the animals were supposed to gallop…
Speaking of six leggedness…how come the Na’vi only have four limbs? Even the monkeys of their world have split forearms. Somewhen, the Na’vi lost two arms…Was Cameron really afraid of the John Carter lawsuits?
Minor nits to p